Tell Em Steve-Dave - #467: Swan Song

Episode Date: January 19, 2021

Bry, Walt and Q get melancholy when they record for the last time in the Secret Stash. Also, giant wieners.

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I'll get a monogrammed. I'll get a monogrammed. I'll get a monogrammed. I'll get a monogrammed. I'll get a monogrammed. I'll get a monogrammed. I'll get a monogrammed. I'll get a monogrammed. I'll get a better Frank five.

Yeah. You all show double dip, yeah, double dip on this motherfucker. Yeah. And um... Tell them, Steve Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's the last edition of Tell them, Steve Dave, being broadcast from 35 Broad Street, that is, oh, boys, it's the end of an era. I was gonna say they throw that phrase around Lucy Goosey, I feel, the end of an era. You always hear that, you know, regarding anything. Is it that propo here? Is it appropriate to say it's an end of an era?

I think so. I mean, it might be, you know, maybe a less regarded era than say human history looks at ours, but personally, it's huge. I was gonna say, I would think it meets the standard. The decade? It raises up to the level of end of an era. Like the Roman era? Or?

No. Not a man, I'm tired. The Mongolian, the more it's an A, those Arras. Will it be any different, you think? Once we have to settle into new digs, our own little spot. Oh yeah. We'll be one.

I don't think there's any doubt it's gonna be different. More comfortable? That I don't know. I can't doubt it. You gotta have answers. I doubt it'd be more comfortable. If I'm gonna be honest, I really doubt it. I could tell already it's uncomfortable.

Oh yeah? Oh good. Same discomfort to new discomforts. Um, a little of some old discomforts and some new ones. Some new ones, unexpected ones. I'm just like, wow, I didn't think that was gonna happen. The closing of the story is a bigger deal to you than this to me and Brian, right?

Yeah, I would think it would be a bit more significant to me because I spent 20 years here. This was definitely without a doubt the place I spent most of my time at other than my home. You could have made the argument that it was probably equal when you... If you take out sleep. Yeah. Yeah. So I spent a lot of time between these walls and it's definitely weird to think that, you know, I came in here today and get them, we need your keys. They want your keys. It's just weird. I had to turn my keys over.

No, well, there's a new place, have a bathroom designed for employees that, a nice bathroom. I see not like not a taco bell. They're a taco, a surf taco rather. There is a bathroom at the new stash, but no one's getting that fucking key that other bathroom that I have that Mike secured. Well, you can't get that back That's all no. The fucking quiet from my cold dead fucking hand like fucking Heston. You should come back here just to use it You know just walk down the street. Oh, yeah, whenever I need to use a bathroom. I'm gonna use that. I'm gonna go. Oh fuck yeah It's only across the park. Why was it with the bathroom there. It's not as nice as the one that's over here.

And I don't see, and I don't see, to be honest with you, I don't see Mike or Gid and where anybody actually cleaning that bathroom, on the regular basis that they have a cleaning lady at this one over here. Right. You didn't include yourself in that. You don't see yourself cleaning it either.

You know those lazy motherfuckers, they're not gonna clean it. No, there's more to it than that, but like, you know, for going forward in a new store, those guys are gonna be more self-motivated. So I don't see them getting the fucking toilet scrub brush out and making sure there's a deep down clean. And... What do you think? Get them. I just broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, I broke my throat, got it bathroom. With train duty? Yeah, I hated it. It was my life.

Well, who did you trade with? It was like, okay, I'll trade with you. And what was the job? There was another job called runner, which was when they sounded runners call, you ran to the dining hall and you set up the tables and then during dinner and all during all the meals, you got up and got food for everybody. So that's everybody else hated that job I loved it. So.

I'd rather do that than the toilets too. Yeah, so every time it came to my job, I'd do it after I would trade it off to somebody else. So, yeah. So, no experience then. I just get the feeling and if I got that key, why not use it? Right.

Why stop using it? It's a small two second walk over to a nice, clear bathroom that smells like heaven. I might can get them, don't have that key, right? Oh, they have it. They have a key too. They could use it too, but I mean... I mean, get them, use a poor John, so that one's fine, right?

Yeah, but yeah, it's going to be different, but yeah, this is a very strange experience. You've seen all those TV shows that last episode of a television show, and how are they gonna end it? There was sign felt, people felt it was unfulfilling and ending. Yeah, but this is over the ending. It's moving down a block. Yeah.

It's kind. I mean, people keep saying that, but yeah, I can't get over the feeling that it feels like it's an ending, no. Yeah. It just can't shake it. Well, you're too old, I think, to get excited about the future of the store, right? I mean, like moving is more of a pain in the ass than anything else.

It was moving 20 years of garbage. Right. That's part of the pain. Come on down to the stage. garbage. Right. That acquired that a piece of the stash. It's there was a lot of stuff that basement was full of stuff that like like hoarders would be like, Oh, you got a problem, bro. Like, get them was like this. I'm going on here. Did you toss a lot? Or everything made its way over? No, not everything made its way over. There was quite a bit that

made its way into a dumpster. Yeah, gems that you were like, whoa, I can't believe we have this. I mean, if it was a gem, it wouldn't have been a dumpster. It would have been a dumpster. No, I didn't mean the dumpster, dumpsters. We found some Comp, Men Pops that,

the very valuable Comp, Men Pops, we found a set of three, not a complete set. Who you missing? I believe Ming was missing. Ming was missing. valuable comp men pops we found a set of three not a complete set who you're messing I believe Ming was missing yeah Ming was much of me stole it oh yeah missing perloined is more the word yeah you think about well I was talking to cue about this like obviously I don't have any attachment to it as a store but like comic book man for you know

seven years we did it here so that was more of my attachment even more than tell him Steve Dave I feel which is weird because we have done a lot of stuff here you know like every single video we've done the white castle hamburger eating contest. Ming getting hypnotized the fucking fraudulent uh it's endless it's endless that's why it's like it's hard to shake that melancholy, Marose, is that the right word? I mean, if you're feeling that, I'll tell you what about it. I'm like, I'm properly used to.

I mean, melancholy is good, yeah. Yeah, it's, yeah, I mean, it's true. I mean, I'm gonna say it again, it's an end of an error. Until someone stops me. Yeah, let I'm going to say it again. It's an end of an error. Yeah. Until someone stops me. Yeah, let somebody fucking try to deny it. I mean, have any episodes of Tellm Steve Dave, at least 99% of them, I would think, or do it here.

I mean, a very few were recorded outside the stash. There were a couple, but not that many. I wanted a diner. Maybe a couple here and there. Maybe some out of a shared universe. Yeah. Is it a table. I'm gonna make it's way over there I just want to ask you I hope not You guys don't want it. Oh, I like it. I would I think let's put it to a vote. Yeah, I mean, I think we already voted I really was gonna bring it over I felt like you know like it would be the it would be nice to bring this over

I felt like, you know, like, it would be the, it would be nice to bring this over, you know, but maybe that's just me, you know, being feeling like, again, melancholy. Yeah, I mean, I look at like Micah Ming's table over at Sheridan University, and I'm like, no, that looks professional. That looks nice. It has fucking crumbs and shit all over it all the time.

Like every time we come down here, it looks pretty crappy. It's all torn apart, taping everything. Yeah, but look at how many hands I run. I know. I know what you're doing. I can see the look on his face. I'm not on the front of the front. No, I would assume we were just bringing this right over. I mean, the felt has, has like soaked up so many laughs. It's worth money. It's worth money. It's cut it apart by a new socket table. It's only the second felt. I mean, you know how much of a laughs have, like, or like, if you squeeze this out,

like, well, you squeeze out all the laughs out of this felt. That's true. All right. Let's keep it. I thought about it that way. We could vacuum it. We don't have to leave them a little liberal. It's more than like, when when you, like this kind of stuff like hanging down and like it hurts sometimes when you're brush your wrist against it.

How about this? Get him? He won't clean the bathrooms. But can we get a dust buster and maybe once or twice a month hit the felt on the table? Oh, okay. I'm in that. And I'll cut off some of the jagged tape or rehab. Yeah.

Little rehab would do the cause I do like looking at people because I'm like, oh, I recognize that person's name. That's cool You know, yeah, I think it's some real love and Oh What can be happened and I'm terrified of this. I'm terrified it happened into the new stash Is I don't want it to become a solace corporate looking place. And that's why I'm gonna cling to this table. Boy, but you always have an amid-life crisis. Like it's my child, I'll cling to this table. I'm gonna be done, right?

Why do you even ask? But that's why I'm afraid of. So when we go into that new, tell them Steve Dave, General Store, seeing this will be like, you know It'll be like my security blanket. That's a good point because when I worked Stash West when I got there that's how I felt I was like this store belongs in a fucking mall like this needs to be ugly up a little bit and that's what I did I took all the fucking Kevin Smith real shit off the Simpsons up there

all the fucking Kevin Smith real shit off the put the Simpsons up there. Yeah, it's Nugans and B. Oh, Snewgan's fucking fuck you. Nugans. I think Kevin liked it because it didn't look like that's what you guys liked about comic book stores going in and it being like wow like it's gonna be a fucking treasure hunt for shit. Close to the Dennis. Yeah. Yeah.

Not quite Dennis. Yeah, we'll go for it. Not gonna happen. Yeah. Not going full Dennis. Yeah, yeah, not quite that we're not gonna Come full Dennis Yeah, if we go full Dennis and you guys need to pull me aside and be like well Get out if we need it. What's it called when you have an intervention? Yeah, that's you know that might be a good point. Maybe new chairs If we had nice chairs, we splurge on chairs and keep the table keep the table get new

J. But this is the problem because we only use it a two hours out of the week So God knows what's happening to those chairs one way not in them Get them slumber and all over me every time I come in these things are broken a stain this something like that You know what I mean can we get one new chairs? Well, I don't want us paying for the chairs. I think we should get like nice chairs I just just I'm worried about the chairs when we're not around Well, no one will touch them a being our in our tom Steve day general store. So those three chairs No one will sit in your chair. I'll get a monogrammed

Okay, the beyond the back I'm gonna keep on the other one and I'll get a double on the other one And then no one's allowed to sit in those chairs unless you guys are. Wow. That's a fucking awesome idea. And when ants come visit, they won't sit, you know, they're gonna try and sit in the chairs. Well, they do. Did I pick your ticket?

I'm gonna, if they do, ask to sit in your chair. Yeah. I'm gonna let them. Yeah, I have to tell them they didn't sit there. So, so now, how is it gonna work? Do you know, is like, are you gonna be stationed there? Is kid up, like, who's working the general store? I think it's- Probably not getting ripped off.

And this is a cash-only business, right? No. We don't have to work. No. No. The news, TSD General Store is going to have like an open door so people could just wander into it, you know, while they're looking in the stash. So if somebody wanders into the back room, you know, I'm sure that Gidham, I or Mike or

Sunday will notice it hopefully and if somebody wants an item, they'll ask any of the clerk that are working that day and they're like, hey, I'd like to get a t-shirt, I'd like to get a skull, I'd like to get a hat. Yeah, a skull. I'd like to get a second skull. A skull. A skull.

A skull. And then they'll ring it up. We have a little counter. We have our own little counter. It's like, what was the name of, was it Driscolls in the Green Acres, the little, the general store? It's like the, it's like an old-fashioned like green acres, pedicote junction store. I can't wait to see it. Yeah, I see it as like in Macy's,

how they have little substores with Tommy Bahama store within Macy's, you know. Right, right. Wow, so do you have any intention to ever work in the counter? Maybe we'll do like days where you and I go in and work. Oh, that's all I want to bring. The only thing I'm excited about is this idea head for the new store. Okay.

I want to plant this out to you guys. Once a month. Once already know, but okay. No, no, no, you're gonna love this. I think you're gonna love this. Once a're once a month. Okay, we're gonna have well with your guys approval. I would like to throw Tell him Steve Dave town Residence day, okay, so like let's say for example March 14th is Frank five day and tell him Steve Dave town and he comes down and we have a celebration.

We announce it that he's going to be that the stash all day long that day, you know, for meet and greets, photos. And we have a Frank five day. I get balloons with his face on it. I get a banner that says Frank four. We film it. So we also make a Patreon episode out of it. We also double dip, yeah, right, we film it. So we also make a patron episode out of it. Yeah.

We also double dip, yeah, double dip on this mother. Yeah. And I think we could do everybody. I think we can do Chris Ladondo day, the way they obviously Sunday, Jeff, you may have a whole week. That's called Sunday. Yeah. But everybody who's anybody, Sergeant L 18 is already in.

I already asked them who, you know, great He is super excited about it, but everybody in Tom Steve Dave town Maxwell Flyman from Tennessee You know his day is you know once a month. We have a day at of tell him Steve Dave So awesome. What do you think that's a good idea? I just I'm like you thought it involved you Here's my pitch to you guys. Yeah, I need you. This is such a great idea in October. Yeah, we have the three baron day. Okay, and we're in our baron costumes, the white baron gold baron black. Yeah, all day long at the stash one day. You don't want to do like an hour.

He's all day because the line's going to be out the fucking down broad street. Yeah, the three barons It's the only chance in your lifetime to meet all three barons at once. Yeah, what do you think? I? I'm in Can you get can I get an hour and a half out of you that day? It's I could do I mean what's a day eight hours? No, well, he's a five hour day five hour We'll do five hours five hours is the white Baron in October. Yeah, Halloween I mean a pandemic approval, you know, you know the pandemic is the three barons And the one feeling the best off to take pictures and shit

Be damned if I October that's why I wanna do it in October, to three barons. If we can do it in October, I'll do it in October. You know how fucking killer that would be? All the barren balloons, all the colors. Yeah. A barren banner? Yeah.

We'll have a special merch made for just for that day. Oh, that's what our face is on. Loans what, yeah, what you're doing. Yeah. I love it. I believe these are going to be the events of 2021. Okay, I really do it. Yeah. I think it's gonna be awesome. Speaking of events of 2021, the big show in June. I have some good news and bad news in June. Yeah, the 11th anniversary show. Okay. Here's the bad news.

Everyone's gonna be disappointed by what I'm about to say. The good news is except for one person. I'm off. Yeah, it has to be off. We have to call it off. They're just the promoter is like, I just don't see it happening by June. And not only that, but you have to open with 50% of the other capacity. It's not going to make any money. Yeah, like, yeah, we, if we opened it to 50%

because we figured it out, we would lose a tremendous amount of money. Yeah. Because the tickets were priced right so we could like break even and everybody could afford it and shit it and you know. But, I don't know that. We're doing this with our live shows right now.

I'm just like, I don't see us, I'm not comfortable telling people to come together. You know what I mean? In an area like that. I figured maybe that Bell works that Kevin did the show at. That Ming is, I thought maybe a space monkey's over there. Yeah. When it warms up a little bit. I would like to, man.

But the thing is, if we're gathering all the ants together, if we're doing like a four-color dean, That Mingus concept, I thought maybe a space monkey's over there. Yeah. When it warms up a little bit. I would like to, man. But the thing is, if we're gathering all the ants together, if we're doing a four-color demons rally or whatever, it's like you want to be able to hang out. I'm just be concerned about not being able to. I wouldn't want to do, like if we did something like that, I wouldn't want to do the thing where it's like,

we get up on stage, we do the show, we wave, and then we get in the car and drive off. You want to be involved a little bit. Right. I just hope we're able the thing where it's like we get up on stage, we do the show, we wave and then we get in the car and drive off. You want to be involved. Right. I don't I just hope we're able to. One second. I can happen. One's not going to happen. That's what I worry about. So yes, everybody. I'm sorry. It was with very morose about it. Well, I think like we're going to have now like these once a month, like events, you know, I mean, hopefully, you know, if you guys are up for it, you come down for it, and I'm sure you'll come down.

I don't know if you'll come in for Frank five day, but I'd love to. Maybe you just zoom in, you know, and I'm around, not come down. I'm not gonna not come down if I'm here. Okay, I didn't know if you would be a little bit, you know, like nervous about, you know, well, make sure, like, like two people at a time

could come into the room. You know, we'll adhere to all the protocols has met for you? It'll be, it is going to be awesome though. Like these little mini celebrations, like, you know, maybe we'll have a parade in the back lot. By the dumpster. Yeah. I like it. Little marching band.

Who's in this parade? Well, it's just a parade celebrating Frank five. Okay. That would be amazing. Yeah, ticker-tank parade. Oh, so you know, it's just now we're talking. I like to see you. You use a bet to Frank five. Yeah. For everybody. Yeah. Like every month we're holding parades. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got a permanent. I got a marching band on retainer Get him on a trumpet

What do we got here what we got stuff to talk about oh I had to ask you what have you happened to drive by Popeyes and Union Beach I Have with my jaw having to be picked up off the fucking floor of the car every time, as I'm like, how the fuck is there a three hour wait to drive through a Popeyes in Union Beach? When you can drive 20 minutes to another Popeyes, that has been open for over a couple of years. Yeah, I didn't get it either.

It's on the highway, like if you're coming down 36. New Popeyes. A new Popeyes that they just built and I drove by the first day, the line was all the way down the highway. I drove by two weeks later. Same thing. And I'm like, first off, the chicken's not that good.

It's too spicy. I've never had it. Yeah, I don't like it. It's just that are you have Popeyes fam? I have never even eaten that Popeyes. I've heard that I won't like it. People who just that you have Popeye's fame. I have never even eaten that Popeye's. I've heard that I won't like it. People don't like it. People don't like it.

They don't like it. They don't like it either. I read an interesting article about real estate in Manhattan. And there was this guy and it was pretty candid article. And he was like, you know how you can tell that the market's real shitty right now. He goes, everybody's moving out. He goes, the only people that are opening more locations in Manhattan are Popeyes.

Really? Because it's like how that fast food thing's always in like bad neighborhoods and shit like that. So Popeyes is just opening up. They're the only ones opening up new locations. That's how fucking bad things are in there. I got a feeling our new fucking celebration days are going to fucking challenge Popeye's lines.

I would like to see that. Yeah. Cause it can't get it anywhere else. Popeye, you could get down there. You could get 20 minutes away like this. Access to tell him Steve Dave town residents full access. Right. We can talk Frank five zero after an hour.

Get him Steve Dave day. Mm. Yeah, get him Steve Dave day Mm-hmm. I get him Steve Dave day at the at the stash Yes, where he celebrated where he celebrated balloons with his face on it You got to come in on your day off though a camp. Yeah, you're You know, okay, they'll eight by ten's of get him and he could sign them You know we give away for free anybody who shows up. I like it. This, I'm telling you, it is gonna be a celebration every month in that place. It's something to look forward to.

That's a problem these days. There's nothing to look forward to. Yeah, hey, that brother. You know, you can't schedule anything. You can't really schedule a trip, you can't schedule it. Like, I'm gonna go to L.A. Or I think I'm gonna go to L.A. in a month, but then they're talking quarantines and lockdowns.

Larry did get the, I saw him boasting on Instagram. He got the vaccine. The vaccine, really. I can't wait to take that thing. Okay. All the FDNY guys were refusing it, I saw. Oh, were they? Yeah.

Boneheads. Yeah, that's surprising to you. You know, it's not surprising that some of them were in, but I don't know. Actually, I say boneheads, but a lot of people that I know and respect are like, yeah, I'm not taking it. Really? I don't know. I read that the Pfizer one, like 23 people died,

and not this country, it was like sweet in or more like, yeah, somewhere. I don't know. That's all it said. That was just a thing. I mean, isn't that every vaccine, right? Has some sort of... It's gonna have some collateral damage. Yeah. I went to speaking of the city. I was in the city. Mary Bess birthday. We went to the Museum of Modern Art. It was open, huh? It was open. That's where she wanted to go. They have like, you have to set an appointment. It's like you can go in it like 12 or two or four. I guess they stagger it so people don't

run or run out, rub up against each other too much. Now, as an artist, have you been to MoMA? Why do you call it MoMA? Museum of Modern Art. It's just you. Is this some sort of like the hipsters? No, it's what's written on the side of the building. I'm a hipster. It's like calling this place the stash. Have I ever been the mole-mau probably? Maybe, I don't know, but I gotta be honest with you.

If somebody was like, hey, you wanna go, I'd be like, fuck now. That's gotta be the most boring-ass dude. Please go too. I can't imagine. I'd be like, fuck now, that's gotta be the most boring-ish. Dude. Let's go, too. I can't imagine, I would rather go to the history, the natural. Not museum in natural history, yeah. Well, sometimes they have like pop culture, just you've gotta like,

you can eye out what's going on, yeah. You're right, yeah. They'll have like superman shaders, though. Yeah, but most of the time it's just fucking penny-farthing, fucking paintings. Yeah, it's like a piece of meat and char with a fucking spoon in it. You're supposed to come all over the place People in an umbrella is fucking walking and a fucking cobblestone street. Yeah, and you're like And it's designed to make you feel bad. You're like, well, I don't get it. What is everyone else get it?

Like this is a picture that this is something that was on the wall, okay? It's the red canvas. It's a fucking red that the pictures like it showed up to the viewers. Okay, it's a it's a throw to it. It's a fucking red canvas and I'm like it's not diver down by inhalants and At least I would have been sort of metal Yeah, no, it was a red canvas and and there were a couple others that were similar. Like one was, then there was like this rope thing. It was like, basically it looked like a checkerboard

of ropes, but then the lower ropes were sagging. They weren't like symmetrical, and that was meant to show the fucking chaos of life or some bullshit, and I'm like, oh my God, you wanna see this? Tell me if you can even fucking find the art in this. This is the corner of the fucking room. I have four of those in my house. Did an artist come in and make them? No. They're just like cones that touch the ceiling? It's yeah, I thought it was part of the wall until I read like there, you know, the little thing.

of the wall until I read like there's you know the little little thing. The little description. And how does your wife have to walk around telling you to stop critiquing everything, stop saying everything's boring, stop saying, or do you... Paintings can't be gay, Brian. Is it a constant like, you know, battle to, for you to keep your mouth shut and just pretend that you're like, you get it or at least you're quiet enough for her to enjoy it while she's there. Yeah.

You know, hide the resentment you have. A little bit. There are certain ones where I'm just like, like the Salvo doordale stuff, like the surrealist shit. I like that. Seeing Starry Night, you know, Van Gogh's Starry Night in real life, I'm like, that's weird. Like, it's something I never thought I'd see,

but a majority of it, I would just look and I'd be like, fucking come on. Like, you gotta be kidding me. It's a scam. Yeah, but there's somebody there being like, yeah, it's art. Dude, like I texted you earlier, I saw your self-portrait. Oh, yeah.

That was better than half the shit I saw in the goddamn museum. You know, I liked it. I said thing because I agree. Yeah, yeah. Spoke to me. It was, what are you talking about? On a dinner party we had to do self portraits. Oh, okay.

We had the paint, we had to really do it. So I did a, I took a real shot at it. But I didn't do my face. I did like this conceptual thing. Mariano Rivera picked it out of the, he said it was the best out of all four. So that's, that's a picture though, as an athlete though, right? It's great at what he does.

Yeah. I mean, yeah, if it was somebody like Alex Ross, yeah, maybe. To be honest, I'd take it away, well, take it away. I think that anybody that looked at the four of our paintings would probably be one of your... All those gatos, I liked gatos a lot. Gatos was funny. Yeah, I thought

Salas was kind of funny too. Yeah, yeah, but But this this museum I'm like, I don't know Like we only got through half of the two it was there for two to half hours and inside I was praying that she would just be like all right We can go and eventually she did but she's, we can come back another time to see the rest. It's like, fuck, God damn it. Does that day will never come? That's what I'm hoping.

Because we don't really go to the city that much. And it was empty, man. I mean, there is. Is he? No, the museum, yeah, I mean, the museum was empty, but I'm talking about the streets. Yeah. Like, you can't go in and out of Manhattan

with no traffic ever. And this is what I'm doing. The last couple of times I've gone in, it's like nothing, like right through the tunnel and everything. Nobody's going in, man. No, we're just going in. It's not though as bad as everybody's saying it is, you think? Like, I mean, I go to parts of the city now

and it just seems like it used to be. I've ever really seen. Well, we were up on, it's up on 53rd, but we did, I drove through Times Square. And holy shit, it was like it used to be, have it really seen? Well, we were up on, it's up on 53rd, but we did, I drove through Times Square and holy shit, it's like this is a ghost town comparing to what it would normally be. And if you, they said if you go behind Macy's in Harold Square, like that's where all the heroin action

is taken place, that's where basically everyone's just started camping out. Sad. No way, gun, though. Nothing, nothing, No way can do. Nothing. Nothing you can do. I've also been to the Museum of Torture Museum of Death with Toad. That was awesome. Toad was laughing like a maniac at people getting hit by trains and shit. People around them were pissed. Good old toad. I mean last year we went to Tampa for our birthday, that was a lot more fun. And I did a lot warmer. You think about like I always feel because I bought a bunch of

photography books when I was getting into photography and stuff like a comic book. You open it. That's odd. Oh, tell me about it. You know what I'm saying? Yes. Yeah. It speaks to us. But I bought a book like I bought a bunch of photo books like five and six of them and I open them up and I'm like Anybody could have taken this Anybody could have taken the picture anybody could have taken it any of it. No, you know I mean like I bought a what's his name Dennis Hopper had a book of Polaroids. I was like, oh, I got to see what Polaroids Dennis Hopper took I opened it up. I was like it's a it's a spoon It's like it's like a car in the middle of a road

I'm like anybody gonna take in these yeah, it's all a scam man. I like the dirty 70s Polaroids. Yeah, yeah before self Yeah, like gritty and shit, you know, yeah, yeah But there weren't even any interesting ones in there spoons People are all about like the light and I know there's a ton of artists and photographers being like these ignorant But I'm here to tell you I don't get it. I just like I look at it and I'm like it's not for me and some of the shit I'm telling I'm going I could do that. I could do that. I could do better than that She's like sure, okay. She doesn't really say much. She just goes on and looks at the next thing She just goes on and enjoys the artwork for what it is. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, not something I ever would choose

I don't know I don't know to do forever if they Well you you forwarded something along that speaking of heart It is a giant penis not art. Did you look at that link that I saw? I saw the picture. I didn't get into it. This was sent to me by Tom Malazowski from the Sunday Jeff Show. He has a word, penis alert on his embagoole.

And I thought he was fucking with me when he sent me this story. But I asked him, I was like, are you sure this is a real story? And he goes, yeah, I checked it out, it's real. And it's a story about a children's show in Denmark, about a man with a elongated, I mean, super ridiculously long penis. It looks like a rope that uses his penis to save people

and it can do tricks. It's almost like Dr. Octopus, one arm, coming from his penis. And this is a children show. It is weird. Why do they allow that? What's going on in Denmark? You never hear about Denmark ever.

You never hear anything about Denmark. Where is it? I don't even know what it is. It's over in Europe, it's like don't even know what it's like around. It's not like Sweden and it's up there. It's more like the forges, the fjords, the fjords. It was the Denmark fucking travel council. We got to get on a map. We got to do something that people will notice us. How about we do a children show about a fucking man with a magic thing? Yeah, the like Holland has wooden shoes. How about we get a giant fucking

a man with a magic. Yeah, the like, Holland has wooden shoes. How about we get a giant fucking, but how could they not think it's not gonna lead to kids pulling out their penis like it's a magical toy? Well, that's one of the, in the, in the article, it said like one of the episodes is that this, this guy, I guess, is a simpleton, long penis.

And he's always making mistakes. And one of his mistakes was that he keeps pulling his penis out. And he has to be told, you can't pull your penis out in public. Why is this the thing? Do you remember when the cartoons were two robots finding each other? Do you remember when it was just that when it was a fucking GI Joe fighting with fucking lasers and never get each other like Voltron, they were like forming arms and legs and shit. What is going on? Well, they said that like in the era of the Me Too movement,

like, you should not be celebrating a penis that can do fucking magical tricks. I mean, no matter how true it is. Yeah, but yeah. But it says here, like, the show depicts a man who is impulsive and not always in control who makes mistakes like kids do. But he's an adult.

He takes responsibility for his actions. What a woman in the show tells him he should keep his penis in his pants, for instance, he listens, which is nice. He is accountable. Yeah, but it's like, in that moment, that's not the way the world works. Right, and that woman shouldn't be in a position

to tell him to keep his penis in his pants. And he's like, oh, okay, no, I know. Yeah, oh, and he's a fucking hero because he put a dick back in his pants. I've got a woman on the street, so I'm a little white. Everybody who witnessed someone rip their penis out of their pants would just be like, oh, I didn't know, and put it back in his pants, I've got a woman on the street, so I'm gonna put it away. Everybody who witness someone ripped their penis out of their pants would just be like, oh, I didn't know,

and put it back in to everybody's like, okay, let's move on. Value the lesson, Burns. You would, it's insane. If this is true, and I'm not sure it's still true, but apparently there's a clip that we can run during this, that Tom said he saw on YouTube as well. But, how could it affect adversely children, you think? during this that Tom said he saw on YouTube as well. But...

How could it affect adversely children, you think? Well, I think you give me definitely kids pulling their dick out playing with their dick. For sure! Of course! Like you're gonna see little kids pulling theirs out to see if it can do magic. Yeah. Assuming it would do magic. Well, it says what kind of culture are we creating for our children

if it's okay for them to see perfect bodies on Instagram and hands digitally or cosmatically, but not real bodies. But that's not real. So have a story about a fat guy having funny adventures. Yeah, dick got to do anything. And by the way, talk about a fucking how those kids going to feel with normal penises. They're going to have a, they're all going to have syndromes. They're going to think they have small dicks.

You think that's not gonna affect that confidence going forward? That's how you get serial killers. Let me tell you, it does. Yeah. But if you're talking about the copycat syndrome, but I always was resentful about adults from when I was growing up being like,

we can't have the human torch on a fantastic, a fantastic four-car too. We have to have herbied robot because kids will douse themselves in gasoline except the carbon fire. Yeah, that is ridiculous. Right. So why is it ridiculous? Because the dick is right there. I'm not going to the store and buying flammable fluids, bring it home, somehow my mother doesn't see it. I'm pouring it all over myself and light myself on fire to be the one of the lamest superheroes there is anyway. The human torture. It's like, that sounds weird to me.

As opposed to my dicks right here, that guy's doing magic trick in his dick. She's no barrier. Is there just a, should we just have the other side of the coin and just have a show, a children's show about a girl whose... Cavernous vagina? vagina does magic.

Well, it's funny to mention that because in here, they say it could have just as easily been that. I don't know why it wasn't, but... Yeah, but why not though? Why not just have, you know, teach these kids early on. Yeah, girls, vagina is a magic. Well, I mean, what are the copyright laws?

Cause maybe a Patreon video, or we get harassed to the house. What does it do? What is the, mean, what are the concrete? Right, laws, because maybe a Patreon video or we get Harris to do. What is the the giant vagina do? It already does everything that it does, which is pretty awesome. Like, so it gives birth. It gives life. That's the same. Right. Well, we metaphorically, you know, use it as a trap. Well, that's the downside of it. Right, you know, trap somebody. Smell it. Yeah, it's tuna. Right, you know, trap somebody. Smelt, you know, it's tuna. Right, yeah, too much tuna.

That's better be tuna bitch. But what do you think, like how would you feel, like, I mean, in all seriousness, like try not to, how awful is it that like, kids are being now exposed to something like this? Like, think it back to like how like uncomfortable that would feel. Yeah, watching.

Watching that. Yeah, it's awful. Yeah, how could you sell toys based on this? It's Denmark, man. They're fucking free wheeling. I don't know. Don't care. It's why I don't have kids.

So I generally, the stuff like this doesn't usually hit on my radar, but that is, that sounds really odd. It's really sexualizing them early on. Yeah. I mean, that's what people think though. Like what's your name, busy Phillips came out with her daughter and she's like, she's gay, it's like,

she's 10 years old. Like first off, why do you have to announce your kids sexuality no matter who you are? But on top of it, it's like, why is it so important all this sex shit with kids? It's weird, I think, because it's not something that happened with us. No, no. But Denmark has got to have like some much more advanced

thoughts. That sounds advanced, too. Well, I'm talking about in terms of like you know they must not feel it's a what you're deal I mean like they're like thinking like you know like maybe a hundred years in the future you know right now because I'm like this is too way too fucking radical for me I don't think I don't think you could get that to fly in the United States. Hell no. No. No. What do you even get past a pitch? Oh, we should. Yeah, could you make me a pitch? How do we get to me on the phone? Yeah, the American version.

Yeah. Well, first off, the biggest bullshit is the guy's white. Oh, he's the big old guy. He's the big fat guy. What a giant, a lot to pussy dick. Yeah. I wonder how it gets hard because I'm sure the same way all penises get erect like Bluetooth. You're right. It is because of

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so you can be ready whenever an opportunity arises. This is really aimed at guys, but girls, you know, you could get your guy, like if you feel like you could bend at your guy could benefit from it, just suggest it to him. He'd be like, you know, you're not satisfied. I wonder how you could word that to him. Yeah, like, you know, your dick is not, it's not pretty. How would she know that it wasn't performing

or wasn't saluting at its highest mass? Well, if it's like halfway or somewhere. Some I, she can tell, yeah. So sorry. So sorry. So sorry. I tell you how girls can do that. I tell you, I'm gonna help the ladies out.

I'm gonna help the friends who are presenting. Just sprinkle it into their eyes. No, you say to the guy, you say to your boyfriend, you just be like, look, I want to try this. I heard that when women try this, it makes them crazy. But it feels weird. Smash fly. Yeah, she's like, or it makes female orgasms.

So could you do me a favor, honey? Could you go on and get it? We'll both take it one night. We'll see how it feels. Then you got it. You're not going to, like if you're a guy and you you get that conversation you're not gonna do a little bit of investigation and be like this sounds a lot like Spanish fly I don't I don't think Spanish fly is real no blue tube if they looked up a blue tube was she saying

by agra I'm sure if she saying this this brings me this if I take this to know I think if women do take it it it it actually does, they're not saying that. We should say that because I don't know if that's... I'm saying if women want, they're going to do it. This is what you put in place to do it. Well, they take it placebo, the ladies. Yeah, but just for dudes, the real blue shoot. And then you got nice, hard, you know.

And ladies just fucking go off like it's the best thing ever. Give him, give him that leg. Put on the shirt off. And he should give him confidence. Yeah, put on a fucking parade. Like don't see what's on the parade. Yes, order that food and cats is but ore. And then when you get off, like stumble a bit, you know what I mean?

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No amount of BlueChoose going gonna get that fucking rope you guys dick hard. Yeah, a lot of blue chill in that one. What else do we got today? Oh, I got new years man. What did you do for new years? It's been a long time. It's felt so fucking long.

Yeah. Did you do anything fun, Walt? I was, as the ball dropped, I was having a texting, Frank V. Oh, yeah. Yeah, because our ladies were sleeping. You guys, I sure, oh really? So, I just, he just texted me, he got you up, and I was like, yeah, watch a poll. I'm going to get a V2. and I was like, yeah, watch a poll. Yeah, me too. It doesn't mean, when you get to a certain age,

you know, new years is absolutely meaningless. But when was the last time it did mean something? Did it ever? Yeah, for me, never. Yeah, like I never went into the city. Like the city always looked like a nightmare to go to the ball drop. Made into a chair.

Only the mayor and his fucking wife dancing around Guy you stayed home. I'm assuming Q Yeah, but that that was that was gonna happen. Usually we do a show on you usually my new years are spent the last five years I think I've been We do a show new year's eat that night We get off stage around 10 and then wherever we are we usually go somewhere together and like like for it Uh, Mohie can son. Yeah, we'll get a room in the estate house And we'll just sit back there and hang out with our boys and just drink it. It's usually a fun. You know this year I just I stayed home. I watched a Dick Clark. I watched it. You guys are expected me that too. Yeah, you get it was awesome

So it at when Dick Clark started at 1985, I started it now and then I watched Dick Clark until the end. Really? And then I would switch over because you know they're not always the most exciting thing. And I caught some of that. What's the one with the Fox one? I was expecting you about it. Jamie Kennedy, yeah.

I didn't say Jamie Kennedy. I saw Joel McHale. Oh, that one, yeah, yeah. And I was like, Jamie Kennedy was years ago. I thought so for you're talking about, yeah,. I saw Joel McHale. Oh that one. Yeah, yeah, I was like Jamie Kenney was years ago. I thought so. So we were talking about yeah the one with Joel McHale and Ken John. Yeah, holy shit. I was like wow these guys are fucking drunk. I don't even know that they knew they were doing a show Well, at least Ken John at the end there. He he looked he said he appeared to be wasted And I've been wasted on stage and I know I was drunk And I've been wasted on stage and I know I was drunk. I was the as drunk as that guy on stage. I was like, I'm not doing anymore. I

can't drink like that on stage anymore. It was crazy. That show. Yeah, it was weird because it was so much like dead air and the they're talking to people who recorded shit long before this. Oh, they're trying to fake it. Yeah, they were trying to fake it. Some of it. And then they were trying to fake it. Some of it. And then they were talking to some, uh, talking to some football player for the longest time and the conversations are so awkward. And it's like, it's making that, um, that zoom sound, like that electronic, like zoom

sound. Oh, yeah. I tell you who, uh, uh, Kelly Kelly Osborne, Kelly Osborne, I thought she came off really well. She was like dopey and like fun and stuff like that for what you had to work with Yeah, I thought they did a good. I mean I just assume everybody on those shows are drunk or high right? They're all they got to be on something something. It's good to see What's it Cindy Lopper? I didn't see that a show you didn't watch it. No, no, no, I didn't I guess I was watching I was really into Dick Clark. Yeah, yeah They had some fun. I can't remember them right now, but they had some fun acts and stuff. I was good when the ball dropped

We were I was at Troys, you know, the Troys over here and the We're watching ABC at the time and they were a minute off No, yeah, I looked it up and the only person I saw them to mention it also was Travis from the Jim and Sam show but I'm looking at my phone and it says midnight and that's exactly when they started the countdown so maybe he was a minute off Try to make 2020 a minute longer Oh fuck man get out of there. Mm-hmm shit. That was choice. It's fun. Yeah, it was very Very quiet usually they have so many people there, but this year it was just us and then Shit. That was choice. It was fun. It was very, very quiet.

Usually they have so many people there, but the share was just us and then one other couple. And then you know some of the kids' friends and shit. Mm-hmm. So, you know, if you drink booze, watch the crummy TV. It's a fucking weird year, how are you? Yeah, what's the do anyway?

Yeah, there's nothing to do. Although that's what I would have done anyway. Like that's what I like to do. Yeah, there probably would be more people there though. Would have been more of a party and shit. Yeah, I's to do anyway? Yeah, there's nothing to do. Although that's what I would have done anyway. Like that's what I like to do. Yeah, there probably would be more people there though. Would have been more of a party and shit. Yeah, I guess so. Fuck it. Wait, I know.

There's nothing he can do. I'm on my fucking fourth bird feeder, man, up in my yard. So I'm all set for this new year. I'm good to go. He learned, uh, it was texting with him. He learned that, uh, Cardinals. Yeah. He should not have been excited about all those Cardinals.

Yeah. The police. They're fucking assholes, man They're aggressive, right? They really like if another bird's on there. They'll get pissed They'll come over and just like scream with them till they leave and then just start furiously eating and like looking around to see if anybody's coming like they're really kind of dickheads Cardinals. I'm learning Is there as there as a favorite bird replaced them? I mean, they're still the best looking ones So I'm there, but I'm well. I've always been a chickadee guy myself But um, there's this thing so Helen got me for for Christmas. She got me this really nice bird house

It looks like a like a house. It's big. It's made of metal and stuff It's got a roof that opens up and you fill the whole thing in and it's supposed to be squirrel proof because like when they step on the bars It closes a feeding trowel So the way to the squirrel will closes a feeding trowel. So the way to the squirrel will close the feeding trowel. Right? Great, this is not filled up. Put it out there.

Oh, my carnal's are gonna love this shit. I get out there. I'm seeing squirrels. They get frustrated. They can't open it. I'm getting super excited. I'm like, this is sweet. I'm gonna feed my birds.

And only my birds, right? Go ahead. Why don't you want to feed the squirrels? I do want to feed the squirrels, but I have separate things for them to do that because the day scare the birds away than the birds don't eat so I try to Put out food in different places trying to be Dr. Do little here a little bit just what squirrels on birds. So now I fun get up in the morning. I make my iced tea That's what I have in the morning my tea and I go to window to look at my bird house and the fucking squirrels manage to get the roof open

And they're they're in it they just crawled into the bird house and they just sit in their chew and their feet and they just like fake windows in the bird house and I see them looking at me through the through the windows like see if I'm coming out to like close it on them and shit like that there's just no beating these fucking crafty aren't they it's unbelievable man there's nothing I can do that stump yeah call him stubby. He's got his tail cut off. I think I got cackled.

I'm when he was young. He gets in everything, man. He's just fucking smart. Would you consider putting some chicken coops on your land and raising chickens? I mean, it seems like you really enjoy this. I mean, really getting your hands dirty and really, he's having a good pottery.

It's got fucking chickens in his yard now. What the fuck? I mean, this is really how you like this. Oh, my crew raises chickens in his yard. And then like, this is how you're really connecting how you can really become vital to their survival then. What I would do is I would let some of the standout on turkeys, I would create favorable conditions

for the turkeys to live in my arms. A turkey house? Like a hen? Yeah, but not something I have to clean. It's gotta be something that I hear somebody for that. Yeah. I got somebody on your property cleaning out turkey shit. Yeah.

I like it. I like it. I know about boy, man. Think about like, I mean, that's really, I don't know about that. Then it becomes work though. Then it becomes a job. Oh, you could have a turkey cam like inside the house.

Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. No, I just, I don't want it to become work. It's gotta be just. Because then you'll see the, the inner, like, the inner workings of the turkey life. Because have you ever seen a turkey having work? No.

Well, this is the only way you're gonna get it to see it. Yeah, I don't really get it. So you just want to be work. It. Yeah So you just want to get crazy Watching Turkey's rip apart his camera setup Now good man, are they mean the turkeys because they're notoriously like unfriendly, right? They're not friendly. Yeah, they'll, they'll, they are. Like we have these turkeys on Staten Island that are, I think I've talked about it before,

like they're, they're, they're two different type of species, three. There's a special Staten Island species of turkey. Some of them are really nice. Like the females when they have their, their birds and stuff, they're in the neighborhood. I'll feed them and they'll come back out and stuff with some out of it.

You don't like being out. I'm just like, what are we doing? I'm not. The poor thing is big. Oh yeah. Why would you say that? Is there no... Is that a stereotype?

Yeah, they always have like roosters in the yards and shit. Sage has one. It's if I fucking drives me crazy I never heard that. Yeah, they always have like livestock like remember it's definitely son Julio had a goat in his yard and shit They love keeping like they love to mysticate on this kind of a show from the 70s and a different kind of animal I know well there's a couple of Mexican guys here. Do you guys have any Wildlife like any domesticated livestock? No nothing, huh? There's a there was a house for the longest time You know pre sandy that had chickens in the yard. And I couldn't believe I made chickens.

They had right in Port Mama, and we were drive by it just to see him all the chickens out in the yard. And we could hear them in the morning. There was that one reason, I guess, who would, who would, the cock, yeah, he literally would do it. I had a lot to do. He would, it, it crow in the morning. Yeah.

Like just sound just like a cartoon from like Bugs Bunny or something He would, a crow in the morning. Yeah. Like, just sound, just like a cartoon from like Bugs Bunny or something. And, um, they reported again. No, no, no, no, I don't know what they were to be honest with you. I never saw the, um, the people who owned the house, but, uh, Sandy washed it all the way. Uh, all the chickens. Uh, well, all the, all the handhouses, it was just, uh, gone, you know,

and I don't think they ever, uh, rebuilt. Re-built. Down in, uh, Key West, you know, and I don't think they ever rebuilt down in a key West. There's tons of chickens down there and shit. No wake you up in the morning. Yeah. You can start selling eggs. Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, I'm joking. Have you do check out some office chicken?

Yeah, I mean, that's probably. Yeah, it's just all stuff I don't want to do, man. I just want to see the carnal's eat. Go down to the- Well, you don't like eggs, man. I don't eat eggs, man. You like bacon, though. You should raise pigs and slaughter.

I don't even eat bacon much, you know. Ha- move away or you're living on the compound you got a killing animal That wouldn't happen to me. Yeah, I don't think I would be eating grass and shit like a fish You could do it to a fish though. How come I have legs right it's not cute. I can't burn bond with it has crazy eyes Yeah, no personality. Yeah, can't blink just stare is actually serial killer. I look at it, we don't even look like like animals, like see something of myself. I think it was Patriso Neal said something about fishies, like they don't have eyebrows. I think that was his bit where they don't have eyebrows and that's what makes them so difficult to identify where it's like, you know, like a cat or like a a especially dog, you know, have expressions,

they have expressions in their face. Officially, he says the same expression shocked. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like I can't believe I got caught. They said this is gonna happen. But cats are very similar, I think too. Like I don't, I don't, I rarely see a look of joy on my cat's face.

Like he's either fucking staring at me. I mean, I scratch that chin. I scratch the chin, yeah. I'm gonna raise up against you. Turns upside down and rolls around. Yeah, sometimes, but their face is always the same. Like, once they open their eyes, they're just like looking at you.

Um, I've come to identify different, different looks on my cats. I think there's a mouse in the basement somewhere and it comes up through this hole in the wall into like the mudroom and because we saw a hole in the peanuts that Mary Beth gives to the To the squirrels. She feeds squirrels. He's fucking peanuts I'm like have you never seen a fucking squirrel before every till like She has her own squirrels. She has she has fucking Skippy. She has Peanut she has fucking jiffy pop jiff Johnson Jr

She has fucking skippy. She has fucking peanut. She has fucking jiffy pop jiff janson junior. All kinds of squirrels that she feeds all the time, but even if we see squirrels in the wild, she's like, oh, the squirrel is really, they're so common. So, you get excited by a squirrel? No, I was like a mouse in the house, though.

Oh, the mouse in the house. Absolutely. Would absolutely make it so I could not relax. Right, well, it's in the house would absolutely make it so I could not relax. Right. Well, it's in the mudroom because I see the little hole, but the cat and Princess Mitch. What's that mean? Princess Mitch. What is 10 phones? Like, which one is it? No, not.

We've read Sanford with his glasses. The cat the other day sat there for two hours, just watching that whole, because he must have been able to hear something in it. And I'm like the patience exhibited by a cat, just so it's like, since I'm other fucker comes out, I'm gonna kill it. Tell me if this is the appropriate response.

After Sandy, we got back into our house probably about a month after Sandy. And we had to get all new appliances because all the appliances in the kitchen were destroyed. And the fridge, no, the stove, it's like a stretchy kind of tubing kind of like. The gasoline? Yeah. It wasn't corked up properly as it was previously. So like things could get through that hole. So I walked into the kitchen and the first night

back into the house after being out gone for almost like, I guess it was six weeks. And I flipped the light on. And in the corner of my eye on the stove, I saw that tail, that long tail, and it jumped down, it jumped down behind the stove. Oh sure. Is the appropriate response to feel nauseous and almost throw up? And scream for Debbie. Yeah.

It's not going gonna lie, man. I was like, I was like, I don't know why, just, I've seen mice before. Oh, it was a mouse, it wasn't a rat. No, it was a mouse. I've been at a long tail, though. And I've seen it like at the zoo. I've watched them, you know,

I've watched them. I can zoo you going to where it is. I'm like, here is the fucking North American mouse. At the Bronx Zoo, you go into the dark house where the back is nice in there. Yeah, you see my scenario time I could watch them for hours and I feel nausea, right, but in my house. Mm-hmm I felt like I was gonna vomit and just like my back was all sweaty and like I had to sit down and I was like Huh Stand in on a chair

But yeah, like it like that to me just like is like that so I can't even abide by having a Vermin house. It's disgusting, isn't it? Yeah, when I think back to what I see it I can still see it the flesh and my wife being like no you didn't see that see that. And I said, don't you go, look at my face. I swear to God, I saw that. Get the puke over there. And then the next day, I told her, I was like, I swear to God and we barricaded the bedroom door. You know, we put stuff in front of the door

so the mouse couldn't get in and the next morning. I mean, under the door, right? You know, no, no, like put up like a, we put up boxes of comics up against the door so the mouse couldn't get in and the next in the next morning. I mean, under the door, right? You know, I know. You know, I know. I know, I know. You put up like a, we put up boxes of comics up against the door. So the mouse couldn't squeeze it. There's a fire that night. I got shit.

People on box is a comic. Yeah. It's the wall so they couldn't, the mouse couldn't squeeze its way in. But she, early in the morning, she got up and she went, and she went looking around the cabinets and she saw evidence of a mouse. Through. She had a mouse cat. She had to come back up and apologize and say, yeah she saw evidence of a mouse. She had the mouse cap. She had to come back up and apologize and say, yeah, we definitely got a mouse. Is it annoying when it's just like, I know what I saw, God damn it.

Why are you telling me? I'm prone to hysterics. Especially when it comes to like vermin and birds in my house. So was it entirely possible that you didn't see it? I knew I saw it, but like she didn't, she wasn't, she didn't want to believe it though. I think a lot of it was like, no, I don't want to deal with that too. Right.

But we had to have somebody come over and like re-stuff the holes of all the appliances because they didn't realize they were that, you know, there'd be so much opportunity for vermin to squeeze their way in. They were diggies. That's, I know, it'd be so much opportunity for vermin to squeeze their way in. They were digging scumbags. I know, it's fucking disgusting. I would kill a mouse, or a rat if necessary. I could trap him.

Like, when I lived at Pam's house, I would like, there was a mouse that would keep getting into the bread drawer. I don't know how the fuck he did it, but he kept getting into the bread drawer a couple of different mice, and I would take him and I'd release him in the woods. But a rat, I would get my gun out and shoot it. It's just, I'm like, it probably has rabies. It's probably gonna bite me. Probably not.

Probably not. I'd put a couple holes in the floor and the thing would go back into a talk. Oh, I know, right? It looks like a fucking Michael J. Fox, I'm here. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I'm probably shooting Mary Beth in the leg.

But when they tore up the streets right by Pam and Adria's house to put in new sewer lines, and I guess rats live in those pipes and they were going into everyone's houses. So Pam and Adria had a whole bunch of rats in their houses and they had to come in and people had to like set poison bait and all this other shit. But what happens is the rats die and then they just rot away and the rafters and all these fucking flies like these Lara and shit turn into flies that like they look like bumblebees. I'd never seen fucking flies that looked like this. Yeah, exactly man.

It was fucking disgusting. But it was like, Pam, you're gross. But if you get chicken, so you don't have to worry about that though. I think it's these cats. Oh yeah, yeah, I'm covered. Yeah, I'm not too afraid because the one cat is like a good mouse or princess Mitch. The other one like, he lays in bed probably Sir, it's just Mitch the other one like he lays in bed probably

22 hours a day lays on our bed. Just won't move. I've it's weird. What are they thinking about how old is he? About seven What about if I had a rat terrier? Yep, that'd be all right, right? They would probably hunt. Mm-hmm. I think you're dogs with fun. I don't know All three are up on a chair. You guys got any last memories? Anything you want to, anything before we leave this building for the very last time? Well, I am looking forward to the new place.

I'd like to leave on my eye. Let me just interrupt you real first. Uh-oh. What? What the fuck this phone is listening to me? Suddenly it's talking about mouse traps. Holy shit. Oh, you didn't realize your phone was listening?

Oh my god. The thing I've said, the thing I- I mean, you didn't realize that your phone just will do that? I've heard it and I know people say it, but I'm just like, I mean, come on. But like, how does it know? Because it's listening at all times. So here's all that stuff I say about Mexicans.

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Yeah, like how, like it's crazy, right? Yeah, so it just becomes up. Yeah, it's spying on you. That's the price we pay for having any smartphones though. I guess so.

I mean, I don't really say anything interesting enough that anybody would care about. But any last, any lasting, like, poignant thoughts, I mean, you're usually the guy to go to, like, who has, like, some really eloquent and really sums it up so beautifully, yeah, that he... I don't really have anything like that. The stash is like a bird house.

Ha ha ha. We all like the squirrels within. No, man, I've always just had this place so linked with Talm Steve Dave in my heart. And since Talm Steve Dave is just continuing on, I feel like the spirit of everything that we love about this place will still be available to us. It'll just be down the block a little bit Same magical table. That's pretty eloquent. Yeah, nice magic

The magic can be Transport it. It's not even transporic. Oh, I'm aware of it It's like you're never worried about that like you know like it like a New setting a new environment, you know, like a new setting, a new environment, you know, maybe we can't recapture. We could do this. We could do this on a desert island. We're fucking magicians.

Podcasting magicians. We're doing this. Yeah. I think so. All right. I mean, I hope so. I always worry about that. I always worry at some point.

There's nothing left to talk about. Wow. Look at Tom Brady. He just picked up his act. He moved across the country and there he is. That's all what doing. We're gonna Tom Brady this shit. It's gonna think that we should have fucking stayed or that our best days of behind is gonna be like, he's more the fuck is still doing it. Tell him, Steve Dave. Unless we had another commercial. No.