Tell Em Steve-Dave - #480: The Human Fifi

Episode Date: May 23, 2021

Q wins a major award. Could you beat up an elephant? Have Bry, Walt & Q outlived their desirability?

My cattle was pissed in my face the other day. I'll never fart in a restaurant. Why is he doing it? Why? Where did you go? Tell him, Steve Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him, Steve Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell them Steve Dave. I'm here with Walt and I am here with our very own award winning prankster. Uh oh. The award winning.

I am Quinn. You haven't heard about this award. He's got some hardware. Mm hmm. I got a, I got a popcorn bucket. He was honored. Yeah. Nice TV. popcorn bucket. He was honored. Yeah. MTV. Yeah. Oh, nice. Well, hold on. See, now you ruined my whole plan because you had a plan. I had a whole plan to come in here and like act like a big shot and

a hope that one of you was going to realize that it was them TV moving and TV unscripted award and use that and use that to bring me low low So I was like I was saying and then so stacens here today first time in a long time and like we're driving up I was like I hope like I hope they know that it's an unscripted Undercut me. Oh, okay, all right. Why your plan may still work. All right excellent excellent so You received an award a joker's received an award from MTV Music Awards. Music Intellivision, yeah. No, movie Intellivision.

And the popcorn field that it's not as lofty an achievement because it went for the unscripted. No, I don't think that, but I think all MTV awards a bullshit. So it's like I feel like it's on the same... Like even the kids' choice awards are more respected. MTV? I don't know that's true. I think that all I get is lined. I wish. No, we it's like we I would have loved to look we we actually won because the fans voted on us and we want which is where you're going up again. That's a great question. I know

ridiculousness was on there which is a huge show. You know, show is terrible. Well, it's terrible. Popular show. It's got Sunday and they're like hey MTV really want you to stick around And attend the word show and of course I was like well why the you know, I don't really you know I don't care what MTV I don't work for MTV and then our Publisher's like he should stay which basically I was like oh, okay, so we won which we weren't allowed to know beforehand But they really wanted to stay so I stayed for five days and I was like wait a minute I was like oh, I okay, so we won, which we weren't allowed to know beforehand, but they really won us there. So I stayed for five days and I was like, wait a minute. I was like, oh, I'm gonna go to the MTV movie and television awards. I was like, no more music. Well, it's separate. That's a separate. That's the Moonman award. This is a movie intelligent.

And this is the popcorn bucket. So I was like, all right, I'll stay out in a like a few extra days and go to the MTV Awards. This will be fun, right? I know it's COVID, so it can't be what it is, but it turns out that they've split it into two nights. So the first night were the MTV Movie Intellivision Awards, and the second night were the MTV Movie Intellivision Awards,

subtitled unscripted. And the big award of the night was Jersey Shore got the Lifetime Achievement Award from MTV for the album. That was the other night had, you know, you snoop dogs and your Jonas brothers or whatever. What's included in a Lifetime Achievement Award for Jersey Shore? I don't know.

What did they do? I will say this. That fucking kid Vinnie is awesome. And so it is. Yeah, I got to talking to a few of the cast members there and it's like I was like He got a fucking they got him. He got me. I was like this motherfucker still lives in stano. I was like we should hang out I was like this guy's alright. He's seen this is Paulie D. No, this is Vinny Vinny. Yeah, I he's the big He's the one that everybody's like he's the most normal on the show. He's kind of like quieter

But but I really I really liked him and then when we got up there to accept the award He started chanting Staten Island so I was like oh kids are right. I'm kidding. He's probably in his he's older than you No, he's like he's got to be in his 30s by now, but Yeah, so so we get there and because of COVID, first of all, they're like, you know, show up the true census there are two hours early. No one else is there for two hours. Just me, Joe and and and Murray, South, going to make it out there. And no food, alcohol, or water inside the theater. And you have to worry because of COVID. So it's like, well, well, but I'm here for five hours

What do you mean there's not even water and it's like no water? So I'm like well already this isn't fucking party. You just go in the bathroom and just go out of the sink Yeah, you Just cuz you're gonna win in a war to get right to bottle water And then you get in there and you're sitting there and they're giving awards to TikTok stars and they're giving award to like uh um and it must be said like some people are so nice like the bachelor which I've never watched but the whole cast was super nice. I was like well these are these are cool people. The main guy wasn't there, right? Uh couldn't have been I thought he uh he had to go away and uh oh think yeah yeah to think of what I think well

hopefully he's thinking and uh he was not there but but yeah, it was definitely so Nikki glazer's hosting in the whole show all she's doing is ripping on Reality TV and being like you guys make us feel better about ourselves and And we look down on you and it was all the shit to the point where snookie I don't know if this may be here by the way you look it over at the Jersey Shore Table and they they have bottles of tequila and they're just drinking and really and I'm like, well what the fuck man But then I'm like, well, you know what? I've true TV through this You could bet your ass. I'd breez in there doing whatever I wanted. You know, I mean there they're definitely like MTV

They can do what you want. Yeah So I got it, but she was drunk and she started screaming. I don't know if this may be air She started yelling at Nikki Glazer and For talking down to everybody. So snooki. I was in the enviable position of snooki standing up for me And I was at one point like I was just like all right. I was like I didn't really you know here we are so I got we got the award but You know Wow, well, I can tell, but you know. Wow. Well, I can tell you who you're up against.

Oh, okay, thank you. Thanks to Gidham. Flores Lava. Oh, all right, I've enjoyed that. Kids say the darnest things. Haven't seen it. Get your hand on my pants, Bill Cosby. Whoop.

Nick Cannon presents Wilde and Out. I thought he was out. He was on the outs, too. It wasn't, didn't he? No, he apologized. It's okay, because he apologized. I don't know why it's okay for Nick Cannon and not any number of other people. It's fine.

Maybe he's thinking about it too. That's a positive. He's going to be better. Okay. He's going to do better. That's everybody has to do better. I hope he does. So all right.

So that's who we're up against. We want to look. It's cool. They're sending me the popcorn bucket. No, were they there? These other people or just the winners are there. They're sending me the popcorn bucket. Where are they there, these other people, or just the winners are there. Turns out just the winners are there,

and it also turns out that people started leaving halfway through. They're like, y'all. So like the table, like, so it's like people won their award for like sunset, whatever, and they just got up and left, and they would leave, because you had to, unless you wanted to go in the bathroom and fucking sip out of the bowl

The sink Whatever I mean When it comes to this and it was like nobody wanted to be there the crew was not happy to be I already had to wear masks And like when they cut to commercials they would come out and they'd be like put your mask on put your mask on and the RuPaul the the drag race guys, had all this makeup on. So they were like, well, we're just not doing that cause it'll ruin the makeup.

So then they didn't want to do it. And the woman was like, well, you have to put it on. And, you know, the drag queen was like, I'm not ruining this makeup with a mask. So deal with it. And then when they heard it, then this fucking TV show about selling sunset Boulevard, I don't know She starts going well if they're not wearing it. I'm not wearing it and so now like a fucking hubbub going on

Like people are like getting yelled at and stuff like that. I was like this is so opposite what I thought the MTV Like movie awards would be I thought there'd be party All line of coke on the table like like anything, anything. Did this air? Yeah, it aired Monday night. Monday night? Yeah. You should have taken a page out of their book instead of being so fucking passive and being like, I don't really need water, that's okay.

You should have been like, fuck that shit. Where am I gonna go? I have to kill her. Oh yeah, I guess you can do that. I can't, what am I gonna do? Downing rock, fuck shit. Get the ground. Get water, there was no water to be had, how he was done.

If I were you, I wouldn't get to attach those to that award, though, because I hear a lot of these places that give out awards. Oh, yeah, the foreign press. They have to know that then once something goes wrong, or they're the board or the people who nominate the nomination boards, you know, they get taken a task for doing things that they shouldn't have done. Sure, improper. Yeah. And then anybody who got an award onto their under when they were in charge of things,

yeah, you have to give it back. You have to disown it. I don't think I'm going to have to do that with this because it was fan voted. So I'm not relying on. Hmm. Yeah. Are any of those fans black? Because if they're not, you have to send that up.

I'm assuming, right now, I'm assuming at least 30% of them. There's gotta be some. What's up, what's in your car today, man? You're not gonna make fun of me. You're going on about. This fucking mask shit, like you talk about the mask stuff who I was talking about earlier about it. And I just, I don't know, I got my vaccine,

my second one. I didn't post a picture of it though. You didn't do the thumbs up, I got it. I didn't, I didn't. I feel left out a little bit like I should've done it. I didn't post a picture of it though. You didn't do the thumbs up. I didn't. Yeah, I didn't I feel left out a little bit like I didn't do it either. I didn't do it. I forget. I forget. I forgot the But the the government, you know, Fauci this fucking guy that everybody's listening to for so long is like, okay, You don't have to wear the mask anymore indoors Trust the science everybody said trust Trust the science and now look.

States are individually like New Jersey's like, nope, we're not gonna listen. Yeah. You gotta wear masks. Why the fuck did I go get the fucking vaccine? If I still have to wear a fucking mask because other people who don't want to fucking get it are out there running around.

Well, the lady, I'm sitting there getting the vaccine. She's like, she's wearing two, she's fully vaccinated. Yeah. She's wearing two masks. Right. She's telling me a story about how somebody was fucking eating on a plane and leaving their mask up and how awful they were and how she went to Oklahoma and how awful Oklahoma and how awful Oklahoma's are because they're not wearing masks. All I can fucking say is like, well, I heard that Texas has almost no cases. Is that true? I haven't had masks some months. Is that true about Texas? Yeah, I mean, I don't know what to believe you hear. I mean, every the news is skewed, you know, to whatever side you're on.

So who knows if that that Texas report is true or not? Well, what if I'm on my side? Give me the news. I don't know what to do. But I just don't understand that it's like, now it's like, well, you have to worry about these other people who didn't. When I was there, there were probably, I'm not exaggerating, probably 25 stations where you could get the vaccine. Yeah. Maybe five people. Yeah. So if they're available, they're out there,

and people can't be like, oh, I'm working because I see people driving around all fucking day causing traffic. But you don't have to, but you don't have to wear them. Like, where do you have to wear the mask? I thought you could walk down the street and shit like that was doing that. Anyway, all right. So then what is it? But they're saying you don't have to wear it indoors.

Like in some situations, you don't have to wear it indoors. No, you have to still wear it. Now you still, yeah, you still have to wear it in New York. New York, the governor said you, you guys can take your masks off. Oh, really? Or is now, uh, Jersey, you still can't, I mean, I probably I probably still wouldn't I guess. That's only because you don't want to get recognized. What if you're a normie like me? Yeah, if you're not an MTV movie, you're telling me, I don't have any popcorn puff in my hand. Unscripted. Um,

what's your papers? It's like a report card, your character. I know. Get him has a nice little holder for his mind. Just plastic piece of shit that they gave me. Curtis you fucking. I just think it's I just think that they're going to. They're going to have to get in line with the other states. If all the states just, you know, follow what the CDC has said, Jersey will eventually lift the indoor masking to. They got it. It's ridiculous now where it's like you go into a restaurant, it's like, hey, wear a

mask until you're at your table. And then what you sit down, it's fine. Even though everybody's around you, it's so fucking ridiculous and arbitrary. It's just to tell you what to do. It's just to tell you what to do. Well, you can walk into a restaurant and then walk four feet. You're like, oh, we're sitting down. We could take this off.

We're safe now. Thank God. Well, I think the idea is like if you ask off while you're walking, you might trail COVID. And it cropped us. You know, like you're like, it sounds hard to keep walking. Like you might crop us COVID a little bit. But let's say we're in an unprecedented situation. I mean, you can't. But let's say I forgot my, we're in an unprecedented situation. I mean, you can't.

But let's say I forgot my jacket out in the car. Yeah. I go on to go back out and get it. Yeah. It's a little chilly in the restaurant. Okay. I gotta go, I gotta put my mask back on to walk back out to the car to get my jacket.

And then you can crop dust. Yeah, what we mean? Literally crop dust. No, because like, let's say you had COVID and it's like, how we never fart in a restaurant. No, you can't fart in a restaurant. No I think you can you can fart COVID. It was a lot of fecal Oh, shit. There's a lot of people COVID cases going out there. Yeah, it's one of the highest

That's where a lot of COVID concentrates is in the fecal matter. You I'm not fucking around Yeah, there was a story that we're in China. That's where they were testing people That's where it all stores. Oh, all right. It's like back in your gut. It's like the COVID just likes to live around your butthole. They said, I don't know why. Maybe they think it's safer there. It is weird, right?

The shot can't get me here. You're fucking the vaccine will go all the way down here. Wow. OK, but I still feel like something happens to set you off. Because this is I'm in seeing this level of anger. I think I just have a lot of on the spent energy because there's fucking nothing to do. What would you do?

What would you do if the mask were? I might kill somewhere. Yeah. I'll come by tomorrow. All right. Yeah, I'll come by tomorrow. I'll come by tomorrow. Although last time I got to tell you what, I was a little nervous when I went to his place.

It looks like a fucking orange grove. There's so many Clementines there. He's back on him. What's the Clementine? There's little oranges he was eating, remember? Oh, that's true. I find these seven pounds I took off I put back on. But that was L.A.

Well, it'd be an L.A. Yeah. It's not possible to go there and not put weight on. I mean, Elkhambadjari is like my favorite restaurant in the world and it's 20 feet for What, being in LA? Yeah. It's not possible to go there and not put weight on. I mean, El Compagio is like my favorite restaurant in the world and it's 20 feet for my hotel. So it's a door dash for readers and my fucking face. I think every two hours and then you see the every friend that you want to see and stuff like that. And what are you going to do?

How do you spend time, aside from like, hey, let's go out and get something to eat? I tell you, I went, I went, I ate out three different restaurants in LA. I felt pretty safe. Oh, yeah, yeah, they're open for indoor dining Yeah, yeah, what's their mask deal? Same you wouldn't be happy. Yeah, yeah, but It was good to be in LA, you know, it was fun. Yeah, I've seen some people I see a lot of people so my Russ or Moser so... See back in LA, I thought he was a little bit... He is outside of LA. Okay. Now I went to go see him spend the night in his place.

It's good, it's great, it's good to see people catch up. I don't know, when in a ward wall? It's nice, yeah, it's good. If you're gonna go all the way out there, you might as well get an award for doing it. I've got some goals. So, nothing happened. No, nothing. It's just the building up of this mask shit.

Cause like I'll go somewhere, and I'll be like, fuck it, I forgot the mask. I gotta walk all the way back to the car. Get the goddamn mask so that I can fucking not infect people. I don't care if I infect people. I don't care. There he is. It's there fault at this point.

It's up to them. Yeah, it exists a Vaccine exists. So if you don't want it go get the fucking vaccine, right? And the only reason I got it was so that look at What? Look at him. He has a face shield. Yeah It is better because I could see I could breathe even the you could you can't see the mask? Well, no, but like I'm so you can't see a mask. Well, not, but like I'm so see to this. I'm going to say, but I can't see to the visor. No, I can see better. I think this is the help of my.

That's prescription visor. Get him argued that it's not better because all the COVID will waft up from underneath. I, you know, like I said, though, I said, you know, even wearing that mask though, I haven't gotten it so right so cook so get him is wrong What the fuck does get him now speaking of get him? I don't know the Mike's got any but we were talking about beforehand. Yeah, you're question so apparently there's a journal now

There's a there's a sequence There's a TSE general store journal business. Yeah, store journal store journal and get it Let me do you want to we only started it today, though. Yeah. Oh, today's first time. Yeah. Okay, so it's a little book says record And then what is what are you recording here? Just notable. Just any I There's gonna be nothing of note. Let's be on it. It will be nothing of note that goes in there because um get them Hatch I need for lunch again. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I think there could be no further point in the lives of me and you're leading at this point.

You're going out to the fucking West Coast. Yeah. You're winning a war. Yeah. You're talking to fucking celebrities. We used to be on TV. And I am coming every day. And from the Jersey Shore.

And nice guy. To the general store in hopes of making one sale, because there's times when we don't even make a sale, and spending just hours on end, just watching television. With Gidam, not saying it's a bad existence, but it's a very... I'm alive, ain't living. Yeah, it is. I'm gonna break Sandland.

I'm gonna break it. I'm gonna leave Arunite. Yeah, I just have a very surreal state of mind right now. At times, I'm like, I don't know if what I'm doing is worthy of a life being led at this point because I'm like, welcome to the club. I called out the last 30 years. You're down for one week. I'm back.

Places and sh- Are you want to come to my house tomorrow? I'm not gonna hang out, I'm gonna. Jim, me and Walt went shopping for Nike's together. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha like period where I'm like it's the same existence like today woke up at 11 30 and I slept too long so I had a headache all day long and I told get them I was just like I think I slept too long and he goes that's not that's what you call it that that can't happen you can't get a pressure headache. Miss Milmer.

And so we just are we just kind of argued about like that you can get a headache if you sleep too much. Yeah. Is that clearly you got one? No that's not the journal. about like that, you can get a headache if you sleep too much. Yeah, I'm clearly. You got one. Yeah. No, that's not the journal. I want to keep going with this. Everything's coming up as well. Yeah, so then I asked him today, like something

came on the television, and I asked him if one of the characters in the show we're watching, you know, he was maintaining that he was in his prime, but he was in his 40s. And I asked him, I was like, have you, do you feel you've passed your prime, have not reached your prime, or are in the middle of your prime? And get him, what was your response again? I haven't hit my prime yet. And I, and I maintain that there's

not many men at his age that are waiting to hit their prime. I mean, it's very, I think the numbers are minuscule of guys who who hit their prime past 45, right? It depends on what we're talking about, too, though. Like prime physical pride. Like, ass laying. That's gone. Ass laying, you could probably slay more ass than you are today.

I agree there. Yeah. But what do you mean you're not in your prime? I like to think that prime is... What do you mean you're not in your prime? I like to think that prime is what do you mean by prime? Back in shape, you know You know slay it with the ladies Gets this all over again

You can include in your prime getting the fuck out of that house too like having your own place again Yeah, yeah, that's why I think it's in the future. But it doesn't seem like you ever feel bad. No, no, no. That's where one of the things I even told them I was just like, because I have been feeling out of sorts, I have been feeling worthless. And coming here, he like watching TV with him,

he has really made it fun at least know to sit there and watch tv though because of his uh... incredibly uh... positive in the face of fucking incredibly what the fuck do you have to be a little daunting existence uh... and they're still like you know like you know like you nothing nothing down he's like

fails upwards and upwards. Like, maybe some other thing now. He's like, wow. Next on Jersey Shore. Yeah. Got him as a Jersey Shore. Wow. Wow, I'm really, it's this is,

I feel like I got three people in front of me that I all need attention. I don't know what a gold would, what first that's, I don't want, what go with with first that's I don't want what it would do to the least. Are you drawing? Are you doing stuff during the Yeah, but I guess it's just my day to day routine now now just consists of Just like catering to like if I'm lucky one person right who may come in here and then there's some days

We're like a three days in a row and no people in here. So you're blaming the listener? No, no, you should. You should. I'm just saying it like you could not expect people to be coming in here. I did not expect that at all. So that is there was no expectations. I always knew it would be like that, but then when you actually sit here and go like,

I know I come home after a hard day's work of watching the loveboat. Yes, I saw it today's journal. See if I may, the general store opened at 11.05, Walt arrived at 13.01, 13.09, Walt asked to get him as in his prime, based on... Who is that? Walt Asif get him as in his prime Stubing oh god, I'm stubing California Face timer Okay, and then a 1445 you started love both season two

16 there you finish season two episode two And then 1800 Which is six o'clock, for everybody, who is not familiar with military, by the way, Kudos for using military time. That's a nice detail. The general store clothes. And that's the first thing I'm going to do. Wow.

Drawing to be barbvers like that. Can I make a suggestion? Yeah. If you want to drum up some business for the Telmsea, they've general store and keep busy, what if we started a T-E. S.D. General store cameo and Then you guys could like do videos throughout the day and stuff like that So it's like hmm. Give you something to do bring a little money. You know what I mean?

Yeah Yeah This is the future it's on demand Yeah. And I need more of that. Yeah. And I can't let's go. No, I hope we do all the pressing. This is the future. It's on demand. Yeah. But who's going to really want that, though? Who's really going to want that?

I would pay $25 for a cabinet. This guy. But we do like a tell-and-seave-day general store, right? And then you guys will have something to do. And then we can do some. We will you guys have something to do and then like we you know, we could do some we will pop in we'll do some We'll be random who you get. Oh, yeah That one that one that one that you do and then everybody's like I got fucking get them or And then you got you that's right that's the press wall

The new show. The new show? That's Tom, Steve Dave. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, this is good. Like, we need, I need an audio only podcast for, like, for something because the guys that are editing our videos.

Yeah. In case they fall behind, I needed a, like, a break glass and a case of emergency podcast audio. So we just, me and him just did a podcast about again just being at the store for an afternoon. It's pretty depressing. It was not an uplift there. It wasn't one that people are going to be like, well, I mean, again, it's just reflections of two lives who are not really living. We're like, we are literally on the porch of, you know, at the, like, counting down the hours

to punch it out at the final clock. That's what we're doing here. I also feel like you guys could have invested in a bigger team. That's how you got that for a while. That is really small, yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's basically a computer monitor. It's not even a television.

It's a TV monitor for the old stash. Yeah, I don't know. You guys don't think you can get it. What a bigger TV fit on it? Yeah, ask Ernie. Yeah, wait, we can get someone in and stole a bigger television for you guys. It's a piece of the old stash, though. Yeah. Who gives a fuck? I don't know if that would make anything like different Really, but I mean I feel like you this it's a quality of life thing and maybe if you just started doing like a

Doesn't small upgrades like that it would be a thought we need a dozen more. I don't know I'm too exhausted after fucking thinking about getting a bigger TV You're supposed to be his You're too young. You're supposed to be his, his, his, I mean, he has been. He has been. He's been speaking up for me. Yeah, but you live in a crack then. And you have to move out. I can't leave you in charge of this either.

You know, like on your family, Kodavarms, it says good enough. Wow, man. Oh, dude, I'm sorry to hear this, dude. What can we do? Nothing. No, and it's just a face. It's just a face like, you know, of, uh, just need something like I said, like, just in your distraction at this point, just something a little bit different. Why are you so precious with your medical shit now? Oh, you couldn't help but blather it to everybody else,

every other fucking, I've been taking this and I haven't taken that. I'd have offered one time. I was like, I told it told it was all misdirection it was all it was like I been medicated constantly medicated 25 years probably more I've taken probably more concoctions than both of you guys combined that. It's about today or I'm talking about my green. Wow. I was, I don't know why, sometimes I'll tell Mary about something that's been bugging me for a while, like months. About her or about her.

Sometimes about her. Okay. But this was about the wedding. This was literally yesterday. I told her, I was like, you know, when we got those We got we had the wedding and the photographer not the one that you like not a Jillian But there was another there was a guy who was taking pictures of me and like Mary Beth Monnet to get pictures taken while I was in the bedroom getting ready and everything and at the time I was like I'm putting my pants on and the guy goes, oh you better suck it in and

That and that and was enough where I would have been like, get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here, jerk off. If she didn't want those pictures, that would have been the response. Yeah. It's a weird thing to say. It, I can't tell you how much I fucking annoyed me. So this, especially said, yeah, oh, yeah. Well, I'm not annoyed anymore. What'd you do?

I didn't do anything. He died. He was a young guy too. I'm not annoyed anymore. What would you do? I didn't do anything. He died. He was a young guy too. I'm not the chocolate after all. Chocolate after that is really fucked up.

I think you're laughing uncomfortable. I'm trying to get my head around. How old was this young man who died? It appeared that he was in like his 30s. So were in his 30s. By the way, I'm not totally, I don't know. I like smiting of enemies. Yeah.

Oh, that's right, I forgot. You have a bowel movement that you have. That you have. You have a sh- I don't know if you're a chamber for him. I don't know if you have a chouch. I don't know if you have a COVID shit all over that grave.

Right. Right. I don't know how he died. And I told Mary Beth, I said, text Julienian find out. She's like, it was a friend I'm not gonna just text and ask that Like, well, why not you put it on fucking Facebook or whatever? Jillian did yeah, I don't see the harm. Yeah, so that everybody get along with her I thought she was like everybody's like, oh no, everybody loves Jillian. Everybody loves her. Yeah, it was the guy

I had the problem with saying like if you can't you just reach out like I want to know how he died I mean can we look up on a bituary? where so he died. Am I supposed to fully celebrate? Because he said why was he just again? What did he say? I was putting my pants on. He goes suck it in. Did he see you? Yeah, who's taking pictures of me? Putting your pants on? Well, they were like I was buttoning them up at that point. But why would you take a picture of you putting your pants on? I don't know. I don't know. All I know is that's what she wanted. So it was like fucking fine. It was my mistake. It was my mistake to say yes. I should have been like, bitch, you get pictures taken of yourself. Don't worry about me. I don't like pictures

of myself. So I certainly don't want pictures of myself half naked while some fucking asshole. You won. He's dead. I know. But what is is going on you better fucking suck it in fat boy I got it's my fucking place to say that right what is going on yeah as I said you were like you're very thin at the wedding that's what I thought I think it's just I was just a joke I had no it wasn't a bad joke it wasn't what that he deserves to die I'm not saying he deserves it. I'm just saying I'm not that shabby. It happened.

It happened. Thanks for always knowing. Sometimes things happen. I feel like the two of you are in some dangerous waters here. What in could be cursed here? The caterer died as well. Whoa, two deaths. Could be a cursed wedding.

Has she done? She had to know going in. No, that was a possibility. You know, right? Johnson. We're on the side of the Wow. Yeah, she was pretty young. She was like probably like 60 or so. Okay. The case here in that range where you're like, oh, too soon, but at least we're like, yes, not a shocking 30.

Do you think more now that like you're saying, like you could, you could go in any minute? Do you think more of that now when you see people just like, die and right and left that are in their 50s and 60s? Because whenever I see somebody, I'm never sorry for them. I'm like, oh my God, that could be me next. And you don't want to go? No, shockingly no. Yeah. I don't want to go. No, shockingly no.

Yeah, I don't know what. Like a retarded optimist, where I'm like, it'll get better. I don't think you could say that word either. What is happening with you? Like, you seem angry. It can't be the mass, and it can't be the photographer. Is everything going on with the medications and everything like that? Like, is it, are you?

No, take our mind. You're as we know that. There's too many to talk about. We don't know about it. I don't know. It's like a laundry list of all the things I'm taking. Yeah, we would impress everybody if we wanted to hear pills.

I mean, yours. My, no, mine are fine. I have, I'm on lithium and something called a billify. So you're not feeling, because I know there was a gap where you were like, I'm kind of like, Oh, you know what? I was thinking about that on the way over here. Well, because I'm working on something with Walt. And there's there was a long span of time where I'm like, I don't think I'm going to be able to do this. Do I?

The project that we were doing. Oh, writing something. Got it. And I was just like, and night after night, I would lie in bed, I was like, what's wrong with me? Why can't I just get my head straight? Why the fuck is my head so foggy? And it was at that time that I wasn't taking my medication and the fucking assholes at the insurance company fucked up.

So I wasn't taking my testosterone for like two months. So I think that that had something to do with it as well. Because then once I got the testosterone back and I just got the medication back like a month ago or so, a month and a half, and now I feel much better in terms of like clarity and that kind of shit. Okay.

Far as being pissy about shit, I mean, that just, everything gets me mad. And I don't know why. I look at the news and I'm like, look at these fucking assholes. Ah, well, there's probably, you should be looking at this You went to a period where you were like genuinely good. All right. I guess you

You probably could say retarded right I can't say you I could say it all day long right All right, I got the our word pass you do Pretty sweet. I don't have there are many benefits that come with I'm gonna down syndrome kid, but that's one of them Because I remember I I said that like, fucking, eight years ago, and therapy wants, and Sharon, I guess her kid is autistic, and she was like, you can't say that word. And I was like, but this is therapy. Can I say any word?

And she was like, and she explains me why and stuff like that. And I kind of, I kind of phase it out, but what's here, and you say it, I'm like, you do have the card. Yeah, especially since I don't meet it in a way of like, like, I know everybody, I mean, everything is eighties. Everything is eighties. Everything is eighties. I just saw a couple of my home skillets earlier.

What's that mean? That means friends, come on, it's the eighties, baby. Where are you? I're just saying. Wow. So, so you're so you're loaded with drugs, Walt. And you're depressed, old man. Prescribed. And you're just you're angry and annoyed at things. Yeah. And so my drugs are prescribed and under fun. No fun drugs. Oh Oh man, maybe we should go on a retreat, like a Telm Steve David retreat somewhere. What do you think? I can go on a fight him along.

Yeah. You want to come along on a road trip? Where you going? Grand Canyon. I don't want to do that. No. I don't want to take a road trip to the Grand Canyon. Maybe I'll fly somewhere.

Maybe I'll meet you with the Grand Canyon. Is there like a fun destination plan? Well, Grand Canyon is I may be out of fly somewhere. Maybe I'll meet you with a Grand Canyon. Is there like a fun destination plan? Well, a Grand Canyon destination. Right, when you get there, what do you do? Last time we were there, we just stared at it for five minutes and left. We were talking about the phone booth. We were talking about the phone booth and the room and the fucking Grand Canyon. We're going to go to the, I guess, to the bottom of it on Donkey.

You're going to do that. Yeah. I'll fly off of that. Okay. I guess we don't want to say on there. Frank Fib is going to. That's cool. Bring on the ladies. I, yeah, I don't know, we'll have to figure it out

because since we're driving, we don't have an exact date. No, but I, you know, we'll hit there. Okay. All right. Well, I'm sure we'll get that, you know, like 10 years. Yeah, so that could be like a treat. Sure treat like we can go out in the desert and like a lot of fire and scream at the sky. Take some peyote. Yeah I'm sure Walt will have some with him. Oh

Man, I just feel like so we're in a bad state of affairs. Am I wrong to feel that? I'm so bad jujure I don't think so. I feel pretty decent. Yeah. Yeah. I'm it I'm telling you the mask shit that fucking drives me crazy. Yeah. That is like, you do everything you're supposed to do and then they're like, fuck you. I hate that they have such control over your life and everyone's just like, ew, like they just, whoo.

But there's nothing anybody can do. But I can't stand the people that are like, oh, what are you gonna do? It's the new normal. It's like, holy shit, you have to fucking celebrate it. Asshole. I think it's coming to an end,'s like holy shit, you have to fucking celebrate it. Asshole. I think it's coming to an end to be honest with you though. It's gotta be. I sure hope so. I feel like it's never been closer to the end than it is right now. Well sure, but who knows?

Who knows? I thought Fauci was one time being like, masks through 2021. Yeah, but they walked that back. They walked that back. They backed off it, but then. but I mean it's all fucking I can't wait to always a chance It could spike though and then they'll have to do some go back to some stringent You know call backs to you know rules and shit, which I'm sure nobody wants to think about but it's always Taken like you're talking about like hey man. We're 53 and shit and who, it's always. Our lives were taken. Like you're talking about like, hey man, we're 53 and shit. And who knows? It's like from February, March of 2020, until now they just took a year of your life

and said, here's what you gotta do for a year of your life. Yeah. And they bossed you around. All right. And they told you what you're, they fucking God damn. The economy was destroyed. But I guess I'm always bossed around. And look, I may no who bosses you around

Are you kidding me? I mean who owns Warner Brothers this week? I think it's fucking discovery owns us now The I saw them yeah, yeah, but I guess I Guess maybe I did so I didn't have that thing. I think I was just like and I made I mean no no no money Like you know, I mean it's it is what, no, no money. Like, you know what I mean, it's, it is what it is, but it's like, I don't look at it like, I mean, I took this year and I was like, oh, man, I got fucking relax. I got fat and happy. You know, I like our evaluated life.

I don't know what I just don't know what was taken from you that you were doing. Like what was taken from you to work to go anywhere you want to go without a fucking mask on that's it We're not yet to me. I'll tell you what I bought tickets for first age for kids pop concert, right? Then they fucking cancel the concert and then on top of it since you can't fuck it Cuz ticket master a bunch of fucking criminals and they own stubhub. I don't agree with that. Well, I do I agree with that. Well, I do.

I know, but I work with a fair and other boss I have. You are getting buster out. You get buster out with everybody, man. But then like, since I bought tickets off StubHub, they cancel the fucking concert. And they're like, yeah, it's up to you to go get your money from fucking a reasonable person. Well, isn't that what Tom Steve Dave show, though?

Because I don't think it's a point in to me, though. And I'm like, I have not in the fucking do with it, but somebody who had a fucking figured out because people are like, I can't get my money back. From ticket master? Yeah, that shouldn't be It was it's still I don't know but like at one point though There there's people emailing me about like trying to get their money back and I'm like I have no idea what's going on about it You know, but I mean that's just

It's the fall out 300 dollars for a shitty concert. I'll never see So you just lost the money? Yep. Just lose it. Why didn't you get the money? Because I don't know who the fuck I bought the tickets from. They're like, the stub hub is like, they're like, you have to get the money from the person that you bought them from. But there's no chance because that person already got them. There's no way there's no way to fucking find out who it is. You don't have a stub hub account. I have a stub hub account, but you can't tell who you bought it from. Because I went and looked. Well, that sounds on the sound, right?

Yeah, there has to be some record. How hard did you look to get this? Oh, I looked. Trust me, I looked for $300. I was looking up and down. I asked Mary Beth to look. She couldn't find it either. You know, what if we did the fucking T-store cameo you'd make that back in like four videos. That's true. I mean, I guess it's worth 300 to not have to see kids, Bob. Yeah, that's why I was like, what are you upset about? Yeah, because she wanted to see if she was excited and shit. Yeah, but you really feel like the year was taken from you.

It's interesting. I didn't feel that way. I felt it was given to me. I think everybody has a different experience. So nobody can have the same exact experience. Sure exact experience for you, a guy who was working as balls off. Yeah. prior to that would would probably welcome a little bit of a break. Yeah. For other people, you know, they can't afford to take a break.

For other people, you know, they lose, they lose, they lose possibly everything. Another person could be like, yeah, I was not the one who came here myself to those guys. I was like, that lives are ruined. I was just talking about the mental state. Yeah, but there's other people who are like, I don't know if like things really changed all that much.

You know, for me personally in terms of like other than, you know, not having, I mean, not gonna, would I didn't get sick though, which I guess was the most important thing. Sure you did. What? You got sick before it all started. We were fucking patient zeros, man. Yeah, but we don't know that for sure though.

That's just a theory though. But you know, but there's people, you know, who, a lot of people who got sick and some didn't make it. And so, you gotta be thankful that, you know, that didn't happen to anybody that we knew close. I mean, you're getting India right now. Oh yeah, that's fucking hell. They can't even keep anybody that we knew close. I mean, you're just in India right now. It's like the, Oh yeah, that's fucking how I like this. They can't even keep the fucking morgues. Like they're just bodies everywhere. The furnaces are,

can't even keep up. Yeah. They know I saw funeral pyres and stuff. They have joint mass graves. I mean, we could have heard that here. Why did that, why did that not happen? Because they didn't have, because the people,

and I don't want to piss my friend here off, because Lord knows I love them, but it's like, they didn't have the people that we had here, being like, don't want to piss my friend here off because Lord knows I love them, but it's like, they didn't have the people that we had here being like, don't fucking do that. Where the man's going? I'm a fucking man's going. Don't crop those people up there.

You're not just people. You don't know who he knew, but that's why we're not that. Plus, you know, we have a real bust society, that, you know. But like, I don't know anybody personally who this happened to, but you can't, like, it's incalculable, the number of small businesses that went under because of that shit too.

Oh my God, dude, you drive. Like people who lost their livelihood, there's a place out here on fucking Broad Street, right before all this shit hit, they were supposed to open. Can you imagine putting that kind of time and money into a restaurant and then they're like, yeah, you can't open. You can't open for fucking six months.

I think what happened, no. Let me tell you about R&H beer a little bit, but yeah, yeah, I'm really. Right. So they had no idea what was coming in and they just fucking went full bore on the most extremes because they just did not know if it was going to be like bodies dropping in the streets. Right. And it wasn't. And it wasn't for a long time. And they still didn't fucking. They're not even back enough now. Well, they are. Oh, and it wasn't, and it wasn't for a long time, and they still didn't fuck it. They're not even back enough now. They are. Oh, definitely. They are not

Jersey. But they will eventually though, they'll have to. I can't wait to vote against Murphy. I can't wait. I don't. I don't. Who get who who who gave that to you? Oh, it's probably Murphy. Yeah. I mean, don't you don't think that you can like just see it in your heart to just the guys on the, is any almost out of office? I don't give a fuck if weed is legal or not. I would rather have illegal weed and not have to wear masks around all the time. Sure. Wow, this mask thing never really bothered me like it did you.

Oh, I hate it. I fucking can't stand it. I can't stand it. I like, like, say just halfway on the school bus. I'm like, oh, I forgot to fucking give her a mask. And every morning you have to fill out this fucking form for school. Then her name and her fucking teacher. And did she have this fucking symptom?

And what's her temperature? And did she have that symptom? I'm like, just take her fucking temperature when she gets to school. Like, why is it one more fucking thing for me to do? Do her fucking homework, be your teacher, take her temperature, do this and that. I think that's called being a parent.

But I think the other thing that you're mentioning is but like all those things are the reason that we're not India right now though. No, we're not India for a lot of reasons. Right, but with this, it's like, this is why, because we're this society. It's like, okay, fill this out before you put your kid in the room and other kids. But no kids get it. I haven't heard of one fucking case in this school.

I hear you, but. Kids got it. There's kids who got it. Oh, sure, some kids got it. Yeah, but I mean, it's extremely rare. And that's all they told us in the beginning. Kids don't get it. We got to worry about the old people. You better fucking stay inside so fucking octogenarians can walk around in a fucking target. I get it, but you have to talk. You're talking about having people make decisions and you want a hundred percent accurate nobody asked me

No one ever will I know Much different world if they did but you're yeah, I think it was I think it's you Get old man. I know you I get I agree with Edgar with not so many things. I'm like, oh no. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? We got to get a home journal. Sonny shot. Yeah, you should like stay on the sunny side, man. I did speaking of death. I wanted to ask Walt. Um, let me see. I wrote, would Walt be annoyed if in my will I requested that he deliver the eulogy? Oh, I don't know if I know I'd be the word it would I would be like that has to be a mistake That's correct. This is not a mistake Well, I would you know I was asked me to do that knowing how that I would not want to do that to fuck with you beyond I have an idea what final cast three the Eulogy's oh the Eulogy tapes we like we put in everybody's name in a in a like a fish bowl like it's a

key part of the draw it yeah and then they draw it out and without telling anybody who you got you got to write the ulyg for that person that's pretty good that's pretty fucking fun man it's basically a roast in another form but well wait I thought it's just be all good things though it's your ulyg you're right I wouldn't want it to be all good things for me because there would be a fucking three-second Eulogy. No, save my life many times over. That Eulogy for me would be fucking weeks long, baby. Wow. I don't know, it would be a double album. Yeah, well, it could be a triple album. I think we do, I mean, I think history has to be three albums. Let's do it. Three album Eulogy. History has to be three albums. You let's do it three album you'll do got it Wow, so next time we meet we'll go I'll have a bowl with all names in it. Yeah, and we'll draw the bowls for it was Drawing names for people aren't even here. That's great. And then they can record them and send them in I think it's a funny idea

We're gonna get your pencil out Chris Ladondo. Yeah, let's out my own taxi test me. Shit. Thanks for mind me Yeah, I went over taxi test media. Shit, thanks for reminding me. Sorry Chris. What else do I got here? So you would not be happy doing the ULG? I guess I probably would be let's a lot of pressure. So there's a lot better candidates than me to do that.

ULG, people who are good speakers, get up in front of a crowd, and get the laughs. Because even at a funeral, the funer people who are good speakers, get up in front of a crowd, get the laughs. Because even out of funeral, the funerals I've been to, people have gone up and have said things that caused the room to have a laugh in a good way. Yeah, I don't know if I could bring laughs to that situation. I don't know. I don't know. I don't think it would be the eulogy that would be expected though probably probably a little bit more, you know, somber. For anybody. I don't know what that. I don't know if I'm the guy that's gonna write a funny

Eulogy for somebody who's who's passed on all right, we're gonna find out. Yeah, well I mean I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna be me so my Eulogy forever. I draw. Yeah, it's gonna you get your clinics out motherfucker Oh, I mean we almost have to assign them get Unless it's somebody like it's somebody I don't give a fuck about, and they'll find out for, I guess, and we're gonna have to avoid that. We're gonna have to have two different polls. We're gonna have to have two different polls. You know, you know, but,

oh, we could call it, you will jeez with a z. Oh, love it. Yeah, vinyl cast three, you will jeez. Stark. It's dark, but, you know what, listen to this episode. And fucking, that's what we're up right now.

And what if you get somebody who you like, you're not really that familiar with like, like if I got Chris Lodondo or if I got, like I know, I know Maxwell, but like, I don't know enough about them. Well, that's where they're at. Well, that's where they're at. Yeah, it's where you got, maybe you plan like to get a little get away and you, and you spend a weekend at his house with people he lives with people are close to him Ask his kids what they would say if they'd be ready to eat

These are things that way to preoccupy your time then yeah, now I got something to do Let me interrupt just for a moment to talk about boners Because you're blue-ch, who doesn't like them. This episode of Spongebob Blue Chiu has been a hell of a year. Oh, that's what we've been talking about. Personally, I feel like I've aged 12 years over the past 12 months. I'm not gonna read this because I don't feel that way.

That sounds like you do. No, I don't feel any older. I feel fatter. How's your boner working though? Boner is on point. Even with the mistist diagnosed testosterone, misting injection? Well, that was a couple months ago.

So I'm back in the saddle, so to speak. Blue Chio is a unique online service that delivers, the bad thing about this medication is it makes my hands shake. That's the only thing. The lithium, it makes my hands like, I get, it gives me tremors and shits. Oh yeah?

Yes, you let shit, like a fucking old man. And if you stop taking it the only thing. The lithium, it makes my hands like, I get, it gives me tremors and sh- Oh yeah? Yes, you let shit, like a fucking old man. And if you stop taking it the wrong way. Yeah, but so does my tolerance for- Uh, there's, there might be medication. I just haven't looked into it. Walt's gonna sell me some later. I'm gonna put you in contact with my guy. Your guy's sitting on the floor.

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Nice for you, dude. Thanks as I stumble over it. My cat almost pissed in my face the other day. Which cat? Princess Mitch. I was doing a, I have like a little, how old is Princess Mitch? I should probably like eight, yeah, seven or eight somewhere in there. So I have this, this table set up with my laptop on it and my mic and all the shit when I did like, because I do podcasts with

E-Rock. And I was doing one with my buddy Carl, who are these podcasts where we go on and like, he goes on and he roasts other podcasts and she's like that. So I'm doing it and the cat climbs up on the table and she's walking around, and I don't mind, but now she's walking in front of the camera and shit. So I try to like nudge her away, and I guess she did that marking her territory thing, which I've never seen in the eight straight years. Piss shoots out right at me, and much like fucking piano reaves in the matrix. I fucking went down like this. and much like fucking piano reaves in the matrix. I fucking went down like this. Not like piano reaves though, it actually hit me in my sweatshirt.

It was a very small amount. But I'm in the middle of doing a fucking podcast, right? So, you get on audio? No, I didn't tell him or anything. I'm like, he didn't see it. Okay. And I don't know that he even noticed. Like when I fuck it,

like, and I that much shoved her away. fuck it like cuz I know that much of draw way What's it you that much of a problem? I just had to keep rolling man cat pissing everything. They do that I've only seen it with like tigers and shit at the zoo like somebody will be like oh look at the tiger and then all of a sudden Like a toy and a fucking piss is all over a kid. Yeah, I've seen cats pee to mark territory I haven't seen it like explode of you. I've seen it? Like an anal explosion from a cat where this be all over you? What have you ever been asked that question before? But stand to the question. It's a name on my new metal band, an anal explosion.

So cat pissed. I don't know if you had any experience with that. I have tons of experience with cat pissed because I now live with wee wee pads in certain corners because the cats just won't stop pissing on those corners. The piece all over your door, one of them, right? Yeah, that new Brooklyn loves to piss on that door.

So I just, I've just taken to wallpapering the door with wee wee pads and just. So the cats don't like the litter box? No, they overwhelmingly use the litter box thanks god thank god before whatever reason they go through these cycles where they will just decide that they want to piss here and they'll do it but it's always the same spots it's never like oh there's a new spot it's always like I know where to put the we we pads at this point but I said no I haven't had any on me.

I'm gonna read, I have to read another spot, but I'm gonna ask you to think about this while I'm reading. Do you think you could be an elephant or a lion in a fight? No, and no. Let me talk about, let me talk about care of real fast. Get back into an easy to follow routine, your recommendations come in, doesn't even say what it is. High quality product meet personalization, these are vitamins.

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oh wait, whoops, I'm supposed to read that. There's so much shit if they would just write this stuff that I should read and not fucking tons of shit that I'm not supposed to read. Everything's fucking red. I'm sure Mary Beth would be happy to do that for you. She cut it down. She does.

This is cut down. She's not cutting out enough, that's all you need. She's gonna cut down more, I'm gonna go home, and we'll talk to her with her you. She cut it down. She does. This is cut down. She's not cutting out enough. That's all you need. She's got to cut down more. I'm going to go home and talk to her with her. No, no, no. Not during that, Reed. So for 50% off of your first care of order, go to takecareof.com

and enter code TESD50. For 50% off your first care of order, go to takecareof.com and order T and enter code TESD 50, for 50% off your first care of order, go to takecareof.com and order T and Entercode, TESD 50. All right. So back to this, a shocking number of Americans think they can beat a liner of six percent so they would fight a bear and think they could beat them. There's probably only two human beings on the face of the planet they could beat them. There's probably only there's probably only two human

beings on the face of the planet that could beat up a bear. I mean, I don't know if you'd beat up Ken Shamrock. Ken Shamrock still can beat up a bear in his prime. In his prime. I think he gets a shot in on that bear, but I think he takes that bear out like fucking he's he's a new punch a bear bear yeah no fuck yeah man but they have all that fur like it's not even like you're punchin' them like you're punching a human well as long as he gets that one shot in the jaw before the bear before the bear I mean he has one chance he's got he's got to do a quick but I think he's the only person on a planet I could do it I wouldn't even know you know the name Ken

Ken Brock huh how do you I wouldn't even, I wouldn't even, that's surprising. Yeah, he knows a lot about sports. Yeah, he knows Ken Schramrock. Yeah, that's the, I'm, I'm supporting him. Deadliest man on the planet, right? What is Bear Hands? Sure. Is he still no hold is this guy?

No, I mean, he used to be. Maybe not anymore. Who's the new guy? I mean, if you're, I mean, I'm not saying, I mean, there may be only one or two people on the planet that could take in bear. Yeah, it's pretty, that's a tall water, man. Yeah, because of the razors. The razors, the teeth, the energy, the weight, the strength, the smell, the fear, like everything.

That's interesting. The smell and the fear play a role in the... Oh, I mean, think about when you, a super smell like yourself where I think when you walk into a room you like oh now this bear's gonna fly but I thought you meant that the bear would smell the fear and that would make it even more of a bear would smell the shit going down the back of my pants on a way it would um what there's I mean there's people who can like who have no fear they're fearless though. Yeah.

You know, they're psychopats. Yeah. But so that right there, they may have an edge on the bear because the bear is probably more scared of them. So the, right, because I mean, a bear doesn't know what this, he's probably never faced a human being before. No, probably not, but I mean, it looks like a smaller, sick version of himself. You know what I mean? it looks like a smaller, sick version of himself.

You know, I don't know that it's going to strike fear. Yeah, I think, like I said, maybe two people, who have maybe even two people who have ever lived. Okay, ever. I can accept that there are humans that have existed and might even wonder what that would take on a bear. Yes. Yeah. where that who could take on a bear. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. B.J., you're saying most American men think they can fight a bear? I mean, that's a lot. No, no, no, not most think they can. But an alarming number think they can. 6%. 6%. That's a lot.

That is a lot. 6 out of every 100 people are doomed. They've never seen probably a bear in action. They're thinking about wanting to poo. Like, I can fuck that fucking sweater wearing. Yeah. Pussy. Right. It's even a gun any pants on. It's winning a poo. Like I can fuck that fucking sweater wear. Yeah pussy. Right. It didn't even got any pants on It gets stuck in rabbit's hole every fucking other day. You winny the poop. Oh bother mother fucker Or yogi bearer thinking of yeah, they're not thinking a real bear

I'm like he's trying to steal your picnic basket and you're like fucking going down on the stuff bears. He's trying to steal your picnic basket and you're like, fuck him going down on this stuff. So it says here that most people think that elephants and rhinoceros are the most dangerous. 74% grizzly bears, then tigers, then hippopotamus. I think that's what the hippos are incredibly dangerous. Yeah, aren't they like one of the most dangerous things on the planet? And then I don't know if anybody if anybody I don't ever who has ever walked this planet could a human being could ever take on an elephant either I mean you're never gonna get close to it with its tusks and shit No, it's drunk that date's gonna fuck You're not even gonna get a chance to get in close or you can get a little bit close in with a bear and maybe get that one lucky punch

Yeah, you got your fucking haymaker right? Get that Ken Shymark on the cross the chop if you could get him right in that chin if that bear has a glass chin It could go down Less a it is likely but it's a chance I don't ever get it you'll never get that shine in with an elephant though because you can't get in close with an elephant That's why I will only live With pets that I can beat the shit out of if I ever have to live with pets that I can be the shit out of if I ever have to.

Yeah, because I'm not going to take a chance of bringing in a pitfall. It's got to be fucking like a little pudgy little fucking French bulldog that if ever gets fresh of it, just look at it and you know, and he'll back down. Posture mission. Yeah. shit. Yeah, I mean, it's it's very it takes a very unique individual that can beat up an animal in the animal kingdom. They said it was a geese come in just under humans as big geese is the least formidable. Oh, now I have come out I've come across some fucking nasty geese. I've seen some videos. Yeah, I mean I have experience you know because I used to be spent quite a bit of time in my youth at a duck pond. Oh yeah. Yeah. Get that food too, Angela. A lot of you. A lot of gums and going on. And I remember you know getting

there a little bit too early waiting for the sun to go down having to kill some time. Now it sounds weird. I was getting there so early is like a 430, it's a little too early to pull up. Let's go feed. Somebody's ducks while we're here anyway and then there's been some grouchy ass fucking geese who will get very aggressive with you. If you don't show fear and like, you know, what's a call when you posture. Yeah. You know, and it was very, very, very scary. So you puff up your chest?

Well, I'm not. He ran from the inside of his woman. I do that thing like that, like that kind of like feminine, kind of like push off with them with the arm and the leg. Get away! Get away! As this thing shows it, no seas it just pulls out. Where are you going? So that'll have a loaf of bread here. I'll be back, I'll be back.

Yeah, but yeah, I've run across a couple of geese who thought they could fucking take me. And you fucking gave them what for? No, no, and then like I said, they get so hostile and they get bigger. Oh yeah, they put their neck forward and start chasing with their very strong leg. I don't know, man, that beak may be have the ability to slice. I don't know.

Because I've been bitten by a few of them and it's always surprisingly not painful. Really, you got bit by a goose? Oh, a few times in my life, yeah. I've actually had this thought, like always through, there's always a bit close on. I was like, I would hope so like through like never bear

But it's scary when this fucking You see those Canadian motherfuckers the big ones. Yeah, what's that shit? It looks like human shit Yeah, yeah, they're aggressive some of them. Yeah went I went for a walk in a cloveleaks park recently in Stan Island And they've decided got into a gay situation. Oh, yeah, I was like, because they think you have bread because of fucking horny motherfuckers They all just start like battling towards you, you know what I mean? And then they get aggressive if you know if you know given to their capitulate to them I was wondering do you think that if I put it in my will, a lot of death talk today, I put it in my will, that I agree that Mary Beth could tax it there, me, me.

Yeah. And upon my death, to keep me in the house, like in a rocking chair or something, you know, okay, is that legal? No. It's not. You'll never find any. That's probably definitely not legal in in New Jersey or maybe any of course I mean yeah, I can't imagine like you got to go maybe out of country for something like that right again

Yeah, I don't know, but yeah, I would I would think though that would be because I remember what happened um I Got an iguana stuffed, brought back as a souvenir from my uncle when I was little and I loved that thing. Cause to me it was like a gigantic dragon that I would put my megos up against. Like Spider-Man mego would fight this big dragon. This one's living being. Yeah, I didn't, like it looked real, but to me it was a toy.

It was a toy, yeah. And then I remember one day it looked real, but I eat it to me it was a toy. Yeah, and then I remember one day You know, I pulled it out of the toy box and here was all fucking maggots and shit that opened up and it was all inside the fucking stuff. Oh my god Yeah, remember that some shitty tatsadermy my mom freaked out. Yeah, I was young Still never forgot that that was like a nightmare scenario. Holy shit You know, so happen, you know, especially if you're going out of country to get that. I fall over and burst open. And I get to pour out of me like a ogie boogie and shit. Wow. So what, so my question is, what do I do if she wants to stuff you? No, my question. I was just wondered like do you think that she would be allowed to?

Oh, I thought the question was are we learn that she's stuffed them and and and has them the house? Oh, yeah, if we learn that yeah, that would be caused for much concern. I would think right any human being who stuffs another human being Yeah, I would be concerned, but I would also kind of human being who stuffs another human being yeah I would be concerned but I would also Kind of be like a game shit. Yeah. Yeah Fuck my face on a lampshade Remember that guy in Key West that dug up that girl like oh, yeah, yeah like he he was in love with this this girl She was like his cleaning lady or some weird shit like that. Yeah, she he he was in love with this this girl. She was like his cleaning lady some weird shit like that Yeah, she was very young girl. This dude was in love with he was an older guy like 60. Yeah, he looked like um like a fucking

Like a psychiatrist. He like appeared in like white hair, you know like white bowling hair and he Like the little glasses. He looked like a what's that guy? You know your mother the fucking psychiatrist the mother fucking oh Freud he looked like Freud okay And he dug up this we fell in love with I think she cleaned this house or whatever But she was a neighbor and she died and he dug her up and and my it's QS So this is a whole fucking museum and they have pictures of oh yeah, that's that that's her right there Whoa, whoa, what was this he did this this. 1930. Oh, okay.

I think you guys were, you guys had come across him and he told you the story that he did. No, no, it's in like this museum down there. And they have all these weird pictures of her coffin, her grave, her, like the stuff, like what her body looked like. That's one of a lot of photos of her. It's weird though that they would put that in the museum because that kind of like makes other people like aspire to that, like like again, the museum fight that that too. It's like one in Key West.

I don't think it's a major tourist, you know, it's got like Robert the haunted doll and shit like that. So the woman was eventually diagnosed with tuberculosis. She died, the sky tansler with a self-profess medical knowledge attempted to treat and cure her with a variety of medicines as well as x-ray and electrical equipment that were brought to the woman's home. He uh, showered her with gifts and jewelry, but there has never been any of them in service to show that his affection was reciprocated.

He was upset. Oh, she looks so fucked up. So if you want to not go through this whole fucking Wikipedia article. So if you want to look it up, his name is Carl Tansler, T-A-N-Z-L-E-R. It's a pretty weird story. Yeah, I don't know if he fucked there, did he? I don't remember. Body? He probably, she slept the same bad as him, so I got to imagine. As a corpse.

Yeah, he should, uh, glad you guys asked. Though not reported contemporaneously research, contemporaneously research, most notably by authors Harrison and Swice Good have revealed evidence of tensors necrophilia with her corpse. Those who attended the 1940 autopsy of the Lainas Remains recalled that in 1972 that a vaginal tube had been inserted in the area of the corpse that allowed for inner course. What's a tube for? I guess so it feels like tight and shit like it likes because of the rest I cannot feel tight It's all right. It's probably yeah, I don't know, but if you took like a toilet paper tube and you and stuff that with

Like towels and stuff on that to make it soft and then you don't do those sounds like you When are you in prison? I'm working on a theory guys and then you And then you put it inside of there, then you won't even notice your fucking chords. Woo, yeah. I think you would still notice. I think so. I think you know.

I think as soon as you open your eyes, you would notice. Prison pocket pussy, you guys don't think I'm fucking. Is that what they call it? I didn't make that up, but I don't remember who told me. So either I made it up in a fucking genius, or I read that in a book somewhere. I just thought, by the way, who does that make? I made it up in a fucking genius or read that in a book. I just don't know.

Anyway, what is it again? It's a prison pocket. I know, but what is it? What do you need to make one now? Oh, well, all this I make you have. A tube of toilet paper. The inside. Yes.

The car board tube. Right. And you put some cloth in there. Kind of cloth like a washcloth. Like a cheesecloth. Cheesecloth. Or a... Yeah, all right. You know, if we're working on his own right now.

Right, right, that was about the right. Yeah, and then you put some soft material in there, some bedding cheesecloth, you say. Some cheesecloth. And then you spray it, get it nice and wet. Mm-hmm. Wait, my friend. No, no, the guards know we are up to.

What, you wouldn't be allowed to do this in prison? Oh, I don't know I need I don't know what I'm talking about What did he say friends? By the board and you like if the water was like you need to fuck that toilet paper fuck that dude that just got here I guess they So it's a prison pocket pussy, but it's also called a feafy F.I. F.I It's it's a real base. It's called prison pocket pussy. Prevalent within death row inmates, a hands-free

masturbation device made up of a dirty old sock. I don't know why they specified dirty. Vaseline or toothpaste, a toilet paper tube wedged firmly between a mattress. There you go, bud. There's urban dictionary. Hey, boy, I'm over. I'm about to jack off with your asshole.

Man, fuck that. You all being needed to use yo' fee-fee. A fee-fee. That's exactly how it's written here in urban dictionary Yeah, you know what a wolf call is Like a Girl yes, I had my first wolf call my entire life the other day that did have bring up your spirits Yeah, yeah, it did a little but um was it Mike when you were

Yeah, it did a little but um was it Mike when you were leaving the store and you know there's a restaurant right next door Yes adjacent to us. Yeah, and there was these two ladies and it was in middle of the day too It was like 430 and they were drinking wine or champagne or something rosé yeah and Um, I can't cross the street to go to my car because my car is across the street in a parking lot And I'm just sitting there because there's cars going by I have to wait and one of the ladies says something and I didn't I didn't even know they were talking to me and then they said something again They're like hey, and I turned around and they're like they go smile. They go life's not so bad I was like, yeah, you know, I'm just working in a podcast where I said you know making no sales

Look at this journal No, I just I just so I just I just you know, I just gave a a rise smile. It's like oh Yeah, you're right and then I I was walking I was walking across the parking lot and hear more like Yelling and I don't know they're yelling at me. Don't turn your back on us motherfucker And I turn and I hear something like hey, hey, you know I turn know if they're yelling at me. Don't turn your back on us motherfucker. And I turn, and I hear something like, hey, hey, and I turn around. They're like, you got a sweet ass. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, walk, you do that. I'm like, are they talking to me? And they're like, and they're like,

hooting and holling and they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, turn around. Yeah, that's a sweet answer. Turn around? Well, yeah, I'm going to walk into my car. So you got to back to the restaurant. So I'm like, and like, what did, like they just won't stop as I'm yelling

as I'm walking to the car. And it's so weird and uncomfortable because I'm like, what do you say? What do you say to two older women who are just harassing you? If it's me, I can go back and fuck you. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

What are we drinking to, ladies? Yeah, I have my sweet ass. And they're just like laughing. You know what a feed fee is? They're like laughing and just yelling things at me as I'm continuing to walk and I'm like, yeah, I had no fucking comeback. So you know how ladies feel when it happens to them, right? Not very good.

Well, you know what? I don't know. It wasn't that horrible. The ladies, I don't know. Like, was it that horrible? You know, like, what is this? It's not good. You don't like it.

But, you know, I could fuck with your head though, because like, you know, the next day, you know, I'm like, I was at Coles and like every time, like somebody walked by, I would just turn around. They gave me your ass to something. I was like, I'm gonna do it. What, nothing to say?

I don't see anything sweet. Yeah, because they were tapped definitely Drunks because Drunks. There is, like, I have like no fucking definition. It's like, if I wish the front of my body was as flat as the back of my body, I got a washboard back and backside. Wow, man. Do you think like, is there a thing now where it's like wow, so now you're not getting tackled

Man, so wait, so you hit your prime now then you're still walking down the street getting tackled and stuff like Well, no, not still that was the first one in my entire life So that's I'm saying maybe you hit maybe maybe me and get them are like kind of hitting our primes at the same time Do me think Look at the age. I guess I could do it. Age men most attractive. Let's see what comes up.

Age men are... Oh, it's gotta be in their 20s. You think so? I would definitely disagree with that. Age, at what age are men women most desirable? This is from the Atlantic.com. Come on. 53, come on.

53. 50, 50. Hold on, hold on. What are you, I get him 42. This is from the Atlantic deck.com come on 53 Hold on hold on what are you again? 42 Get him's 40 of course they won't fucking say now I'm getting pissed But there always has to be an article that just tell me yeah exactly I don't care about the okay in this study all this bullshit to get to the in this study men's Desirability peaks at 50 damn wrong the downside. But I was saying number. You're still closer to it than you were at 47. I better keep this fucking key straddle jail though from because if this is my best attribute

there you go. Anybody feel like a fee fee. You'll be fee fee. But is it really like what I mean at the end of the day though is is it fucking Anything to hang your hat on if that's your best attribute Yeah, I've Consent interested in any dudes behind Did you not talk to women during the fucking lethal weapon movies when Mel Gibson were like prancing around those tight jeans when we're like, look at him, look at that ass.

And I'd be like, what's so great about that ass? There you go, man. Check this out. Was that for a dumper? Yeah, I mean, to be honest, I mean, I would much prefer to be a different fucking part of the anatomy than the, it's the worst fucking aspect of the human body for dude in my opinion all right for dude I was about to say for a dude we got yeah, oh yeah, no, yeah, I agree with that

But I'm just talking about as a dude though. It's like just so much more you would focus on there's nothing to focus on Like what would you focus on? Multifus if I was a dude if I was a chick looking in dude, to one beat her fucking behind me. Probably their face. Oh yeah, it'd be their face or a chest. Women don't normally break, well, what is the body part that you look at face? Face? Certainly not.

No wonder we never got together. I'm starting to fucking get to the bottom of this after all these years. But I think women don't break men down into pieces like men do, right? Like, not you. Some of you. Okay. I don't want you open.

No. I mean, if for what, it's worth though, you know. You feel sweet ass, bro? Yeah, so I've been told. Did you tell Debbie? No, I don't think she was fun. She did not think that was amusing. Is it being harassed by all the women of Red Bank?

Every time I walk out the store. Is that the way you're presenting it? Maybe you can slow-screen a bit. Just be like, what do you think of this? Because you want to hear a comment on your ass. Well, you could be like, I was walking down the street, we'd get him. And so, a woman wolf called his ass. His bottom.

And now I'm feeling insecure about mine, like, am I okay? And get her opinion on your own. I think that she would be like, yeah, she would be like, yours is fine and don't think about it. Right, because, you know, girls are not interested in asses. Hmm. Yeah. What would you do when you could blow her mind, man?

What would I do with a guy's ass? This is your girl, really. I mean, I'm not a strapped someone who's just fucking right all the way. I don't know. I send in the. I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry.

I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry.

I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry.

I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry. I'm really hungry. 13% is out there man if the first thing they want to do is with their dude their man is fucking flip him over Yeah, then that's weird Well, it might not be an hour wheelhouse But it's in a lot of people's wheelhouse right yeah, I yeah, I'm not gonna know judge No judge Maybe when I was younger, I would have judged, but I said get older. I'm like, God. Would you have judged or would you've been like that's funny?

I probably would have judged that of insecurity and been like In the pillow Give me something to bite at least come on Give me something to bite at least. Come on. Give me your wallet. I don't know how you can turn this into a negative. Oh, I'm not saying it was a negative. I just feel in that, like, you know, even if it was like legs or shoulders or fucking even years.

But like, yeah, to me, that's just like, you were striving to find something. Wow. So you think it's more likely for a woman to call nice years, baby? What did you tell Debbie if that happened to? If somebody harassed you, no matter what No, you don't think it's a good idea to like Toes man, yeah, my toes are fucking her end. Oh, keep her on her

She's like now I know you're lying You know, no, yeah, it was just yeah to me like I said it was more like it was very awkward and Especially when like they wouldn't stop. Yeah Where you going boy look at those sweatpants. Oh, yeah This is fucking bizarre And I have no I have no recourse. I haven't say nothing because I'm just so like the complimenting you We have it is bizarre though, and I'm just like I have no

And this is all I'm just I swear to God this happened because I've come out and said that like I was at food town once And I remember the checkout people when the compliment first aired Oh, this is amazing. Yeah, they're like so I've been on the other in the spectrum where they were someone said Did you see that show compliment and I know they a girl said that because I was in line but the other girl that she said it to the other cashier did not and was like oh yeah yeah I think I saw that man they'll put anybody on TV won't they no matter what they look like or something like that so I've been on the house sweet the rest is yeah that's what I'm saying man like comfort men didn't fucking ever shoot below the belt like everything was

Maybe it would still be on the air if they had fucking low My beloved belt was way better than my I mean didn't you take like a didn't you take like a promo picture where your cock was like In your I'm so visible in your hands. Oh, because Stanley was there. Yeah. I'm not excited. Am I thinking that up or that?

No, no. I've heard that time and time and time. That's not so bad. No, no, no. I'm pretty, I mean, yeah, wow. But like I said, it would be, it would be, it go, it'd be a little bit more, the juice for that would be a bit more intoxicating if it wasn't such a fucking ridiculous fucking anatomy for it.

Yeah, I disagree with you. I think there are women that are like look at the fuck. It's something I cannot see. I don't know what it really looks like. Right. But it's awesome. Yeah, but that's like saying that like when you see girls, uh, Terry Ergo buying it. Usually they're fucking wearing tight fucking pants or something not just fucking bag of sweatpants But some of them are so good that they look good in baggy pants sweatpants I think what we're learning about you is that that's how fucking so he's got it. He's got a female

Oh my god. Wow, I wonder if we can get you a modeling gig or something. Just like jeans and stuff. Yeah. The Undies. Oh, I mean, that's a fucking home run. Let me tell you something. I've seen some of the Undies models lately. Yeah. You're in.

I couldn't, I would never be able to take that job on them. No. You want to be allowed? My religion and... I just say, Tom, Steve, take it already.