Tell Em Steve-Dave - #487: We Got Musk

Episode Date: July 31, 2021

Bry, Q, and Jiggy go to Key West. UFOs, dogs, Git ‘Em gets life advice.

I'm so excited to be here. How often do you feel that baby's ass? You're a fuck you, sight. I could see sunlight on the Flanagan's balls. Tell him, Steve, Dave. Hello, one more. Oh, go ahead. Tell him Steve Dave. Hello, I'm going to... Go ahead.

Hello, I'm going to... I'm going to walk over this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave. What's up boys? Hello, hello. We're doing well. Good. You're back from a week break, you guys. Come on on vacation, right? You're going to be like a break you guys can win a vacation right?

You're gonna win a few bucks here. Yeah, it's too fucking boisterous and too body I got a little boycer. So got a little boydy. Body body Something that teams he would love to get It was a good thing that teams he was not around the QS he was not around the QS. They would have come back with nothing. We went jet skiing wall. Yeah. And we come up to this little area and it was a guided tour because when I'm man enough

to get it, you know. You need a guy at tour? No, you could just rent a jet ski and go out, but it was money, but we didn't do that. We got a tour around the island of Key West on the jet ski, right? It was me, Q and Jiggy, for instance. Yeah, Q and Jiggy. And we get up, and the guys like giving the signal for stop, we stop, and we're floating,

and then dolphin just start flipping around us. We were in a pot of dolphins. Splashing us. Within fight, not like closer than the Baron was. Like it was just right. They would jump in and run in front of you, like laughing at you. Like that, it was awesome. Are they trying to communicate with you? Yeah, they were like Baron was. Like, it was just right. They would jump in and run in front of you, like laughing at you. It was like that.

It was awesome. Are they trying to communicate with you? Yeah. They were like, look at that. They're super smart. I don't know if you know that. You could see the boss. So you're assuming he isn't super smart

that you don't know the dolphins. Trying to spear one. Catching up with a motherfucker. What is that? I want to ride it. They're super horny too. I was, my first thing is I clenched up. Yeah, because I didn't want to get it. You didn super horny too. I looked for, my first thing is I clenched up. Yeah, because I didn't want to get it.

You didn't want to jump in your jet ski and mountain you. You hear stories about that all the time though. The jet ski sinking. Yeah. I see, you know, I'm getting reamed by the often. I know they get super horny and I don't know if they're fans of Brakville, do you know what I'm talking about?

I got to play a ski. I got to punch up my butt real tight, but it was a hell of a trip. A lot of drinking. Has it smell when you're not close to it, Dolphin? I've been at the aquarium. They kind of smell some of the worst defenders of fishy odors. Well, I think that's because you were swimming around the same water that they did. It's inconsolently.

These were a free ocean dolphin. They seemed all right. It's all a little bit a little Judgmental on the dolphin community by saying that they're the most nasty of the Well, I mean, I've never seen anything like it like he just like he jumped into like did a flip like right there in front I was like son that a sea world? Not as good as a sea world flip. Like definitely where they spin in the air.

Like he was showing off for you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It was awesome, man. And the guy knew the pod. He said that they are. They live in that they're, oh, they have a fucking hell of a sea wave.

Oh, he was the most off-age no-telm-steaf day. That's why they're fucking flipping for you. It's like everywhere he goes, people are putting that I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.

I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.

I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. What the fuck is that? Rock-A-Roll-On-Night? Yeah, you haven't been to the General Store a while, it's got new decorations. Yeah, that's a canvas wall-hanging poster of... Oh, it's Tim the record guy. Yeah, the podcast, Rock-A-Roll-On-Night, and podcast every day, a Patreon gift.

You were killing it on this Patreon gift, I walked in today and we're fucking... Yeah, skateboard deck. To a skateboard deck, that's the coolest thing I've ever seen. Well, thank you. He's killing it and he's about to kill himself with a post office. Yeah, the post office is a fucking nightmare, especially with a skateboard deck. That's the coolest thing I've ever seen. He's killing it and he's about to kill himself. I'm a post office. Yeah, the post office is a fucking nightmare, especially with a skateboard deck. But since I've retired, you know,

I told you guys I was gonna put all my efforts into the gifts and the patron. So it's paying off. I'm still shit this cool. And then I lost my four color demons hat. Yep. And thank you for replacing that golfing store. You're welcome. Yeah. Ralph is wearing it right now. That would be great. Like if

I got hooked on to his fin and he was wearing it around. Oh, when in below who would kill them? What's this? How else was the trip though? It was a blow. I mean, what was it say, dude? Right? We, it doesn't sound like much. Right. But we rented a golf cart. Oh, okay. Best money queues spent the whole trip. Hahaha. Were you on a golf course?

No, we weren't. It's just like the tool around town, because it's like it's, uh, I've been there. You've been the key- Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah. I know it's very, uh, very congested.

congested and, uh, the streets look like old. Yeah. And they're like something out of a, you know, the 16th century. Yeah. I think the only way that you could find easier parking and get around easier is if you rented one of those scooters. Mm-hmm. But the golf cart, I think, that was the, that was the wise choice.

I don't want to drive in anything ever besides a golf cart. We had so much fun. Because like DuVal Street, which is like the Bourbon Street down there, right, is jamming all the time from like noon on. So we were just getting the golf cart and there's just like crews up and down. And it's like a mile long DuVal. So we were just crews up and down DuVal.

Like down DuVal, see all the fucking freaks in weirdos. And then we would like whip around. There a lot. Yeah. Oh, yeah, it's awesome. And then we would like do the side streets. It was my favorite parts of the vacation. We're on that fucking just drive around looking at people. Yeah. And getting getting places where like normally it was just it it lends to be to lays as well. Because you're like, all right, we stayed all the way

at the end of DeVal Street. So we're like, we want to go to Hemingway House. How fucking far of a walk is that going to be? Yeah. And it's not cool. No. It was like 95 degrees and fucking almost like a shower. But on the shelf, it's cool.

Can you feel it at all? Yeah. What did you guys, I mean, from what I know, I've only been to Key West once. Yeah. Looks like drinking is I've only been the Key West once. Yeah looks like drinking is a vital Part of the yeah, a key West experience. Did you guys? Yeah, I'm from drinking or did you go this way? So semi yeah true TV semi now works for me Do you understand semi works for me now? I don't understand hired semi

We hired like we started the production company. He got in Hyron. No, this is a story. So we hired Simey. We started the production company. Incredible. Just we hired Simey to run it for us. Okay.

He calls me for an important business at noon. I said, Simey, I'm too drunk to talk right now. I started with a fucking bloody Mary at 9 a.m. Buddy, I was like, I'm five during Simey. I was like, I don't know what you're trying to talk to me about right now, but I was like it's got to wait till I'm back Next week. Yeah, it was that What about you Brian? I mean he's semi works for me now. Yeah, I want that clear. Sammy didn't call me Yes, you know that's me I know it's funny. I know funny. Oh

So this is like some this is a get back payback man. You know for Slight's weather. You know what I'm with a real or not reals. I have to come in here Let's get some in here. Remember what you said. I mean I Can't help but notice the shift in power. There is no shift in power He doesn't work for true TV anymore now. He doesn't work for true TV anymore? No, he doesn't work for true. He works for, we started a production company. And Simea is running it for us, yeah?

Hey, if you guys need like skateboard decks or hats, you want to stay in that game? I could, I could get those, I can get those made for your production. Yeah. Yeah. I got to say I'm a little bummed When I look over a cube because a big part of the trip was looking for Laramar pinky rings. Oh, yeah, you're right. And he doesn't have his on I wore mine especially so that you know

What's a what is that? It's just a stone. It's a gem of the sea. Yeah, it's a gemstone that you can only find in the Dominican Republic and it's sold to tourists at 800 times the markup. Sorry. So this is like a bromance kind of like a brotherhood. Yeah. Bromance. Whatever you think. Potato potato.

Potato potato. Yeah. Well, what happens is I was there with a girl years ago and I bought her a lyrma Like necklace and we were making fun of how ugly it you know Lyrma is like how I clearly got ripped off and I don't know where the girl is today I definitely don't know where the fuck appendant is today We're laughing about how I wasted my money and you know how that translates into well now we got to get lyrma ring So we spent a good amount of vacation looking for the right right perfect larry you guys found them but

QQ has taken his off like once the vacation was over yeah it's a fuck dragon fuck larry mar well no I don't have you normally wear a ring I didn't put any of it you don't have your other ring on it yeah and jiggy got one jiggy was taking some lumps on uh Instagram now why because of his what do you go ahead say it what do you get what's taken some lumps on Instagram now? Why? Because of his... What do you go ahead, say it, what do you think? I was in a site because maybe he doesn't have the finger to pull off a ring.

You have fat, manly, muscular fingers, Brian. Oh, okay. Well, here's a picture I put on Instagram. I'll let you try to decide who's who. Well, I have the same kind of fingers as Jiggy does. Yeah. Jiggy fingers. Yeah. Jiggy fingers. It's very close to my nickname on the one true three blue juice spectacular when I didn't

reveal my my my name at the football game. It was a it was a it was a. Oh yeah, that's never revealed. I had a customer at the general store. He could only ask, I told him he could only ask five questions. And one of the questions was, you know, he wanted me to reveal what that name was. And I told him, I just can't do it. That would be betrayal to all the people that were there that I asked to never reveal it. I believe that's on the $500 tier. But was he taking it because you know, they were like who's the who's the chick that got the

Yeah, they said that they thought I might have in sage's hand Poor jiggy man, he got it. It's funny because jiggies from Key West originally Not originally, but he lived there for a good amount of time and his father ran a bar down there And I know his father did it. I've seen pictures of time and his father ran a bar down there and I know his father did it I've seen pictures of it like his father ran a bar down there There's no doubt but every local that had lived there for and his father ran it for like 11 years Yeah, no memory of it every local was like What I'll call them a liar in front of us So we were just ripping on him and like

What's up, do you lie to us? the bar, he couldn't even show it to you at which bar it was. Well, he could show us the structure, but it wasn't that bar anymore. Oh, they have remodeled it and everything? It wasn't a bar. It was a city on building and they turned it into something else. Yeah, like an office with some shit like that.

How do they get so many liquor licenses in that one little town? That to me seems a little like overboard with all the liquor. That town is based on tourism and liquor. Yeah, you get any boys managed to can't? It's hard to get a liquor license though around here though. I wonder why it's so easy down there. Maybe more per square mile or something.

You know, the change of rules is like, well, how can the government's like, how can we make as much money as possible and still look like we care a little bit? Well, plus some of the bars open down there have been there for like 50 years or something like that. But what a trip, man. I missed it every day. I'm like fuck out which way we're back there. Yeah, like the day we left the next day I was like fuck we should have just stayed the extra day. I should just stay the extra day.

The way we measure hunters? Yeah, but yeah, you got real into treasure hunting like in a very brief period of time. This is the man that could do it though. He has the funds to, you know, to actually go out and do a real live treasure hunt and rent a boat, rent the equipment, you know, find a map. I don't know. There aren't many expenditures that Q would incur that I would be like, please don't do this. But if he got real into treasure hunting where he wants to fund his own boat and he's hiring people for an expedition, I'd be like, oh, cute. Oh, you don't think there's any treasure out there to find this thing? There's lots of treasure to find, but it's what it would have taken 10 years. What's his name?

Mel Fisher. Mel Fisher took him 10 years to find something. Yeah, he like brought his family to financial ruin, but then he finds like a four and you're a fifty million dollar find. Yeah. But we met this kid who found he was he was only treasure hunter who's named Zach. If you listen, Zach, he was only treasure hunter for a couple of years and he already found this first gold coin, which we were told is almost never happens. And now one coin about that big $98,000.

Wow. Where do you find it? He wouldn't tell me. He wouldn't. He's like, he's like, we can't win all out to say where we found it. Started diving like crazy. It was like snorkeling, like, come back up. What are lungs are about to burst? So I brought him over to the table and we had, we asked him some treasure hunting questions. It's pretty interesting, like that somebody's like, I'm going to do this as a vocation. Like, this is going to be my thing. Today's the day. That's

what Mel Fisher says. Today's the day. To which I see it. Yeah. To which I countered like today's not the day and it's probably not going to be tomorrow either. Yeah. You got to have that cynical. If you don't have that cynical attitude, you're just setting yourself up for major, major heartache and disappointment. You may find a few gold coin here at air maybe but most likely it's just going to be heartache and fucking misery. Just in general like think about how my life would be if I were optimistic. You know how disappointed I would be all the time. I mean I don't know I would argue that you're doing all right. You got a lovely wife. You got a career that you enjoy like what is it that you're not liking? A game that we played when we're on this trip a game

that it was introduced oh yeah no I wish it was a drinking game that way it would have served my fucking pain it's a game called left-right center left right okay it's a political game it's a dice game no it's a dice game what you do, you want to explain it to you're the guy who you invented this game? No, no, no, he brought the fucking dice. I brought the dice. It's awesome. So basically, the idea is this and I'll explain it like each of us at this table is three of us have three dollars, three single one dollar bills, right? And there's these dice and you roll the dice. And then there's you really get a dot, which means you keep your dollar,

where you get an L, which means you pass one of your dollars to the left, where you get a R, which means you pass a dollar to the right, or C, which means you put it in the center. Those are the only options. You keep a dollar, you pass a dollar, or you put a dollar in the center.

And you just keep rolling the dice until, as the dollar's going to center, it gets narrowed down until there's only three dollars left or there's a dollar left or you're out and it's just me and him playing. And then whoever's left with the last dollar wins the pot. Okay, so like if you roll all C's, all in the center. You get everything in the center. No, no, no, you give your dollars in the center.

But if it was down to you and me and we only had one dollar each and you roll the C, your dollar would go in the center I would win the main get it. Yeah, how does somebody win all the dollars in the center? What do you got to roll? There's always well It's not a matter what you roll like as long as you roll a C Well, let's say it's me and you and there's only two dollars left in the game Yeah, if you rolled an R you would have to pass your dollar bill right? You got no more dollars I win if you give us to the center you got no more dollars. I win. If you give us to the center, you got no more dollars.

I win. Okay. So that's how the dice goes until everybody that's rolling the dice. You know, we're just nobody to the left. I mean, well, Brian's left you. Yeah, I would be the left. There's always somebody. Oh, okay.

Yeah. So he just said it was me and him, though. Nobody else. Well, then it's because I rolled an L. If you rolled an L, then you would give your dollar and then he's in the game. Did you, it sounds like you lost a lot of money in this? I didn't, it wasn't the money. Because it's like we were only playing $3 at a time until we did the final.

Then some grand end run. Wasn't even part of the group. Yeah, some fucking guy. The last one was $5, so it was like, you know, we played $3, $5. I didn't win once, I didn't win once the whole trip. We played 11 times statistically. I should have won at least twice. The last time I lost, I've never come so close

to just being like, I need to take a walk. Because I'm not a competitive person. I'm used to losing. That's all right. I didn't realize you were really that angry. I thought you were acting it up a bit. Oh no, no, I was pissed. Oh no, I should've been a laughin' so hard. Oh no, it's great. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Ever suspect loaded dice. Oh, yeah, it was back to recuse. Because I won seven times out of a left. Yeah, he won a lot of times. Yeah, even I would have been like these this I want of my own dice. I want to get my own dice and play with them. I don't even know where he got them. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's what I mean. I don't know where he got them. Yes, they sell them everywhere. Do they?

I never heard of this. And then we would randomly play. So we would be like, wherever we were, I'd pull over the golf cart and we'd shoot dice. You know what I mean? Really? Yeah. So drinking, and bones and ugly women dolphins I mean it's the 180

degree difference between the Grand Canyon trip with me and a Q trip. Q trip is a little different it's a different speed it's like it's at a hundred a hundred miles per hour if you can't keep up. Oh we're on a golf cart. 17 miles an hour. If you can't keep up, we were on a golf cart. You lost it. I think you're going to lose it. 17 miles an hour.

If you can't keep up, you might lose everything. Yeah. All your money. I lost, I lost, while we played 11 games, played 10 games at three bucks, so that's $30. And then the last one was 15, so another 15 sets, 45 bucks. Yeah. It's up to money, it's the losing.

You might not be built for 100-mile hour work. No, I'm just saying, you might not be built for 100-mile per hour trip. You need to go into slow lane with when I take a trip. This is more of that good boy talk, isn't it? There's more of that good boy talk. I'm gonna say good boy, because it sounds feminine, good boy, but know you want it's

could still be macho the the the slowly I agree I agree I don't know what you get more tornado I get so many tornado warnings on the podcast the summer's okay yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, we had wholesome, we did a tour. Did you have wholesome? Okay. We did a ghost tour. You want to take this over my phone. Oh, the ghost tour.

First, the ghost tour was talked up. I mean, I've been to this Key West many times. It's probably a very haunted place, right? Yes. Yeah. Lots of ghosts, lots of ghost sites. Oh, sightings. Lots of sightings, lots of haunted bars, that kind of thing.

And I've been to Key West many times only twice without Q. I've probably been there like seven or eight times only twice without Q. And I've never taken the tour with anybody. So this time we're like, all right, Q, vouch for the tour, he's like, it's fun. I love some tour. This would have been the third or fourth time I've done it. It's a trolley, but not, but we, wheels like it's not but it's made to look like an old trolley painted black and they they put like candelabra on the inside and cobwebs. Yeah they go all out and the tour is hosted by a ghost who died on the island so they so gives you he gives you

his history. It's a actor. They give them like the dark circles. So he's in costume and yeah, fucking 100 degree weather. He's never decked out. He stays in costume. He stays in character the whole time. Does like ghostly puns Point out it is a fucking bless and then when you're driving around there's a thing on Key West where if you're in this thing People on the street who've taken the tour and no to yell at the yell of certain people on the street who've taken the tour and noted yellow that yellow certain phrase at the tour bus and that's you are doomed. So when the tour bus go by, people will just go, you are doomed. And then you on the tour bus, the whole trolley has to go, yes,

we are the doomed and it's corny, but it's so much fucking fun. It's like Rocky Harp victory. You just get into it. You're there. So the night's leading up to the tour because we did it on the last night. The trolley would go by and I'd be like, we gotta yell, we gotta yell. and then we yell and then the trolley would go and then the whole bar would go like ever Loves it. Yeah, it was this is this way more fun for a cube because he's fucking been drinking fucking bloody Mary since 9 a.m What do you mean what do you mean? It's like we are doomed like yelling it and yes, we are if he was stone colds over Well, let me say this. It's a good thing, it's a good thing,

Semideen and Colin when he was on the tour. I'm not going to stop right now. Not when you're on the golf cart though, right? You guys are completely fucking... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah talk like this as if this means that you're haunted. I mean, I have nothing to compare it to, but it was so shitty unto itself. I mean, she liked any charisma. No charisma, no, no, pizzeria, no, what time of the day did you book this tour?

This was the last one. So it's a 10 o'clock. No, no, they only run from seven to 10. Okay. So she's already done two tours right at most. They have different tour guides. Yeah. So I'm not giving her a pass. He was too expensive. It was like 65 bucks to go and now 65. Oh really? Okay. I've had a long hour tour for my fucking tour hell. Oh, yeah. Oh, when I see people, man, I'm like, Hey, have you listened to that episode yet? Like I went to my urologist today, shout out to Dr. Christiano and I was people, man, I'm like, hey, have you listened to that episode yet? Like, I went to my urologist today, shout out to Dr. Christiano, and I was like, hey, have you listened to the two wedding parties? I agree.

You just listened to Tom Stevens? Yeah. Really? Yeah, he lives in the area. Is that a conflict of interest? I don't think so. I mean, I wouldn't want my doctor listening to, you know, the things I say on a podcast. The guy puts his finger in my asshole.

Like, shout out to what I say. Yeah, no matter what I say. Oh yeah, I don't know, that would just feel like really like, just from... Would he come on the show? He probably would. Oh, I would love to talk about that. Yeah, I'll ask him.

Yeah, so he does this on a regular basis, not just your ass, all right? I would hope not. I don't know. I don't know. Really intense. Discussion. Oh yeah, and it looks like your nervous. I would hope not. I don't know if that's really intentional. It's really intentional.

Oh yeah, and it's like your day, it has to feel come on. All right, yeah. Well, I did ask him. I said, have you listened to the Westward Hook? Because I just want as many people as possible to listen to that tour guide story. I'm like, you've got to hear it. It's fucking unbelievable. But yeah, so this lady was not great. She was terrible. She was pretty terrible terrible and it's one of the guys tipper

I had to and for me it was because I know how good the tour could be yeah, and I was so looking forward to it I was so looking forward to them that I was so like the minute she started talking I was like fuck I already then it got so bad that I started to enjoy how bad it was because I was looking at him and Jey and their faces were so stunned that I pushed this shit for three days straight. As Jey said, he enjoyed turning around and looking at me being like, what?

Yeah. So the slave thing was like so. Oh yeah. I couldn't get my head around it. She brought up slavery and talked about it for a good like what, five minutes? So long. Yeah brought up slavery and talked about it for a good like what five minutes So long. Yeah, she was like just cuz it was this is a mess Slavery grave somewhere on the tour and like she was just going on about slavery and graphic detail to the point where you like

You're like, okay, I got it like is she getting off on talking about like she was talking about sores on slaves Ristenshit like that and you're like none of this is It is a horror themed tour, right? So you want to just watch it. But it's not fucking saw. It's supposed to be like ghost action. Yeah, it's like light-hearted, not like I don't want to. I don't want to.

I wanted rum runner. So you guys want Walt Disney's wanted mansion. A little bit. You don't want like something like starvation. Yeah. And she got off. She pulls up. She stops.

She stops the tour at the mass grave mass grave and they get off of them. Brella and starts and like walks across the parking lot with her old like costume high heels. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, and then starts pointing with the umbrella where these poor sleeves are buried like and talking about them and you're just like Nobody wants to hear about this and you're standing on these people's graves, like fucking point out, I wouldn't have rather making a show of it. Like, oh yeah. It's like fucking Dick Van Dyke and Mary Poppins.

You never did it before in any other tours that I was on. It was a real weird. Really, so it got too real. It got a little too real, yeah. Nobody wanted to, I mean, I don't want you to be down. Not one person on that tour, I think. He's downer, you know, it is.

Yeah, it's very rare that somebody brings it up to be like, hey, let's get some pet. He turned to me at one point, he's like, why does she keep talking about slavery? I don't know. And the driver was this really pretty black woman, and I could keep seeing her face in like the, the rear view mirror thing I kept looking out of the scene she was rolling her eyes because it was really weird how much she talked about like the abuses of slavery. Was the were you now was just a private tour did you guys have to go with the the other some other tourists? No we went with other tourists. Okay now we're the other tourists as like bewildered by the the topic or did they just roll they were talking so much at one point

You offered to let people off the tour if they didn't want to finish it She actually said that you know choice it was like I'd rather get dropped off a mile and a half I was ready to jump off. I actually said guys I said I know how good this tour to be this is not it We're going to waste our time if we stand up. Let's just get off here and go back to the drinking fun parts. And for whatever reason, Jingy did not want to get off.

Probably the 65 bucks show. Maybe the whole better it'll get better. I've rarely been on a tour that I can recall that went well. I mean, there was one that I was on a tour in Boston and the tour guide just everywhere that we stopped He just told stories about how he got drunk celebrating a Patriot win to the point that people were so I loved it though because I had a Brady Jersey on and I'm like

And but there was people who are getting visibly angry and we're like we came on a tour to see Boston not to hear about where you partied after Tom Brady won MVP against the Falcons. But he just would not stop. And I said the Grand Canyon tour, I think tour guides they burn out probably. Because they have to talk about the same thing with the same level of excitement for a group. I think that it's know, it's probably got a high, you know, turnover ratio because it is a It's tough to bring that excitement to every tour. Same shit day after day after day. I have the same stuff Yeah, it's like being a twitch streamer. You gotta Then don't do it. Well, you might you know, you might be stuck in a job. You know, you need that you need the money

Then do it. I mean like a lot of people hate their jobs, but they still gotta do it. Put it this way. The last time I took this tour, I actually only one of three times in my life did this road a letter to the company to say how good the person was. I was like this person was excellent. You gotta give him a raise. Everybody should be trained by this person

because they were in fucking ghost mode the entire hour. Probably had just started a week before. They're all gung ho. You know, if you booked that guy about a year later, he'd probably be talking about slavery. I'm gonna be a ghost in two minutes. Adventure and every other horrible thing that he could bring up to ruin your vacation.

I don't think she was burned out. I just think she was terrible. Yeah, I think she was just awful. Yeah, I think she was just bad at it. Like, really? I really wonder how she got the job. Yeah. Like, that's how bad she was. It might be I think she was just awful. Yeah, I think she was just bad at it. Like, zero. I made me wonder how she got the job. Yeah. Like, that's how bad she was.

That's probably hard to get people. Is that the test I'm probably in the tourism industry? Oh, you think so? Definitely. Somebody's fucking kid. You're fucking nuts. There was another, it wasn't a tour, but there was a guide where we went to the aquarium.

And this is only worth mentioning because it's this. This kid who's talking about sharks, you know, he's like 22. A shark feeding. He was pretty young guy, he's like 20 on 22 year old kid. He's talking about shark feeding and shark facts and all this other shit. And then out of just, for some reason, he goes, what did he say? He was like, and don't worry, ladies, if it's your time of the month, you can still go swimming. I did it, Charlie. He was on the other time of the month you can still go swimming Look at each other he was on the other side of the tank because they give the tour over this tank and yeah He was talking about yeah sharks sharks can smell blood a mile away But they generally are very lazy he goes, but they don't like to smell a menstrual blood

No, he said there was your opportunity killers They won't come from a mile away for the blood He goes so if you got to cut the ocean, it's fine, no problem. Ladies, if it's that time in the month, you can go in the water. And we were like, what were the ladies' reactions? Were they like,

I mean, this was the most jaw dropped? Yeah, everybody was like, mm-hmm. I think it's one of those moments where everybody's like, what did he say? Yeah. Like, can you just can't believe he said it? And but it seemed like it was a little personal joke

to him, right? It seemed like he was a bit like fucking people. Yeah. Or maybe he thinks that he's got that sense of humor, and he thinks that like, disselquil him. Disselquil him. This is like, come on, man. We worked on comic book, man.

We had fucking two of the guys we worked with, fucking whatever dropped that joke. That was fucking true. That was fucking true. Yeah. But then said, do you shifter it? But there were little kids there. It's just like it was like yeah, yeah, well Well, he said the time in a month. So maybe that he gets around it gets it still yeah, you know

He isn't say like he didn't call it is a drop of P bomb. Yeah But I still think like you probably just stopped with the cut on the hand. Definitely. Nothing about vaginal weight. Did he know you? No. Did you recognize you? I actually got away with a lot this week. We really get bothered that much.

Yeah, no, I would say, I was surprised that you didn't get recognized more. This is not a slate to you. No, I don't know. I think people are just a wasted walking around that don't know this shit. Yeah, we did okay. That one fucking weight was the one. Oh, yeah, it's like got recognized. Oh, dude, he was like, you're not doing anything.

Take a picture. He was that guy. He was Brian. Brian, come on. Let's go. It's picture time. I was sitting, eating the waiter comes on his picture time. And then he dropped an insult on me. He goes, come on. You know, on the only person that I asked for your photo, let's go. Ah! So, that was a photo of an insult. So I look at the guys and I'm like,

this is my life, I set it right in front of the guy. And I just got up and I took a picture. I guess the fuck am I gonna do, it's picture time. Can't do anything. Can't do anything. One of the things that I liked about the trip also is I never ran out of meundies. Ooh, yeah.

I brought many pairs because I knew it was gonna fucking sweat them up. Yeah. So you know how people say imagine everyone in their underwear to make you feel more comfortable? As if imagining a room full of strangers down so their skivvies is what makes this comfy. Really, because I mean, most of the people in a room

you're not gonna wanna see in their underwear, right? You're only attracted to a certain type of person. But I thought the old wives tale was like if you're having stress, you know, remember in the Brady Bunch, it was like, you know, imagine if you're giving a speech or something. The car trucker, like, you know, somebody was, it was nervous about taking a car test

or driving test. And I think, I don't know if it was the Brady Buncher or is it one of those sitcoms and it was like, that's why I first heard that joke. Like you would just imagine them in their underwear And that'll like pop the stress balloon and you'll you won't feel any anxiety Right. I don't think that really is accurate. I don't know. I've never met anybody that we could say Yeah, you know how I how I battle stress. I imagine you and your underwear. Yeah, most people say so I imagine you would

Well, it's supposed to be strangers supposed to be people you don't know I guess Well, it's supposed to be strangers, it's supposed to be people you don't know. Beyond these beliefs comforts. I think those dudes are imagining fucking girls in their underwear anyway. You're absolutely right. Yeah, that's why we're all stress free. Beyond these beliefs comfort does not start with imagining, but instead it starts with actual comfort.

Modal. Modal, man, that's the only word you need to know when it comes to the underwear game. Modal is like vibranium. It's a secret nobody knows where it's made No, the hell is my brain. Yeah, it's like from black pants. Oh black panther. Yeah, I think Modal is is The real vibranium and in this world nobody knows how it's made. Mm-hmm. Nobody knows what country Originates from it's the meandes, you know, it's their most guarded secret, Modal. I mean, evidently it grows on trees or it's part of a tree or something. A special tree. It's not for guys like us to know. We're just we're designed to wear them.

That's it, man. Just be just be lucky that Mian D's has graced us. Graced the world with Modal. I agree. Because it didn't get all soaked and I didn't get like rash between my legs and shit rush Let's see That's where your thighs rub together and we get all like chafed you never got that no It's hard. I have I got you Notice I'm trying to accentuate it. I could see sunlight on the Flanagan's balls. He's working on it.

He's just fucking on it. This is fucking. Kegels like this is fucking doing it. It's designed to be the softest thing on there. We say at this planet, baby bottoms. Yeah, the old news. How often do you feel a baby's ass? The only signature micromodel fabric literally grows. Oh, there you go, grows from trees. Making their meundies not only super soft,

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slash T.E.S.D. that's me undis.com slash T.E.S.D All right, not really I mean I would like to call Troy. I want to ask him something I'd like to call Troy, I want to ask him something. Tell him, buddy. Hey, what's going on? You're on a Tell-O-M-Steve Dave, my friend. Hey, Troy. All right, what's going on, guys? Got a question for you.

I watch a lot of cops, as you know. The TV show, I watch it on YouTube. When a suspect swallows drugs, you know, like it seems like they're always swallowing these little glassy unonvulopes of full of meth or cracker whatever the fuck when they swallow that whose job is it to retrieve it they would send them to the hospital all they got to go to the hospital for it

and what they just wait for it to come out and then but then who has to look for it i've never i've never with it, but I would imagine that the hospital would be the abuse-foblin Oh, so it doesn't come out the other end you don't think? Right, or they don't owe any value, you know, which is the primary reason they're sent to the hospital because they're concerned the person might have been resolved with drugs. Like, we're covering the evidence, we're secondary to that. Gotcha. I thought evidence was number one, man. This being, you know, this arrow and everything that happened this

year, I think my minions myself. Like you're the most, well, you're the most most most most no lands I can. There you go. Alright, so they go to the hospital. And they try to try to make it throw up and if not then somebody's gonna fish it out. Somebody has that job. All right, what's the guess of the hospital? It's really all doctors just to make sure the person doesn't die from swallow drugs. Got you. You were swallowed drugs, Walt? I've never, I don't think I've ever eaten a weed. I don't think I've ever eaten weed. I don't think I've ever even come close to swallow anything that look like a balloon.

Not even a rumble. I know it's a lie. All right, buddy. Thank you. I just wanted to ask you that. I was surprised you didn't just Google that. You needed somewhat, you needed to try to tell you that. Google always has different answers, man.

Like we have the pipeline right but you actually thought that they're they would station the rookie I thought I might be a rookie you're station here till that guy that guy takes a number two and then you got to dig through it come on Troy I got a buddy that's something when he's retired I have to wait and moment to show that guy some of these stories he works at Marco. Oh yeah. Yeah, so the time will come for that.

We got to get these guys to retire man, they have all these good stories. I know, I know, I just pulled you to that, the barbecue by the day, and said one day we should start a pod where he has an army bag on top, so they just told war stories. But not even like the exciting shit, just the funny stories. I'm doing great, chill. Someday. Someday. on top of me just told war stories. But not even like the exciting shit just the funny stories. All right, good, great show. Someday, we'll do it. Someday, we'll do it.

One day when we're both doing it. How much longer are you, how many more years you got on the force before you thinking about retiring? I don't know, I, I, I, I could have left almost five years ago, but I, you know, I got kids at home and the longer I stay, you know, the better my pension's going to be and I don't want to even do some job that I hate. So I'll just keep working, you know, because if I retire now, I don't know if you'd love a job. It won't be something I enjoy doing. So I'd rather

just keep doing a job that I enjoy. We got it. We got it. We got it. We got it. We have an opening at the general store. Yeah, get them to get fired. Give me a card to travel back and forth to Jersey. I'm in. Okay. There's room for a know-it-all. Another one? All right, homie, we'll talk to you soon. Hi guys, be good. Talk to you later. Yeah, I gotta say, I really was hoping that it was like, he'd have a story about some

rookie leading to, leading to clean up some shit. You're hoping. Yeah, not the case though. Did you hear about the stolen French? Well, I've been hearing nothing but stories. People just send me, you know, these horror stories about, you know, these, you know, unfortunate French bulldogs being stolen. It's like it's heartbreaking. So there's two women arrested after stealing $10,000 French bulldogs being stolen. It's like it's heartbreaking.

So there's two women arrested after stealing $10,000 French bulldog from Texas store. A dog, $10,000. It must have been a female because they're more valuable than the males because they can give you more French bulldogs. There's a little 14, we called a woman a two women, sorry. A 14, we called French bulldog named Mario.

And they ran out of the mall, right, with there are the store. Yeah, they just grabbed it and ran and hopped into a silver PT cruiser with no license plate. It's had a great plan, all right? I mean, you got to have a better plan than that to just take off with it.

I mean, I hate to say it, but these pet stores are gonna have to hire armed security now, if you're gonna have to shoot. You're gonna be fine. Shooting somebody because they're stealing a dog. I would want to cop to shoot somebody if they're like, if they, so we walked into the yard and grabbed Cooper, right? You know, if I didn't have my gun at hand, I would want to, you know, my neighbor or if I'd have a car, you know, to, you know,

to take that person out, a headshot would be okay. Am I, am I, if you know, to keep Cooper at home safe? It's interesting you should say that because there's another story that, that a Texas man arrested for abandoning dog on a highway on the side of the road. A Texas man, this fucking asshole right here, this fucking piece of shit.

Oh my God. He was allegedly, he would bust it for allegedly abandoning a dog on the side of the road last Wednesday at a heartbreaking scene that was recorded by a witness. He was napped two days later and charged with animal cruelty for allegedly leaving the pooch a husky behind as he drove away in a light colored jeep. And I saw the fucking video of like his some, someone who was just there with their camera, their phone. They record the guy getting out putting the dog like on the side of the road and driving away and the dog starts running after the truck dude I was like I'm not a

soft touch but holy shit when I saw that and but then the good part is that like somebody a thousand people see it and immediately the dog wants to bring that dog into a good home I heard a amazing story you guys know Tom mom sure of course Yeah, he told me a story that just like such a good story if this is the if we end on this I don't know how close we are but boy. This is an uplifting one He said that his son had come down to visit him with his girlfriend For his birthday and they were driving home late at night in Florida.

And they got into, there was a 10 car pilot accident that is so-and-and, you know, wrecked a car. You know, everybody was okay though, but they had their two dogs in their car. So they had to get out of this wrecked car. So they opened the doors. And as they opened the doors, they get out there trying to crawl out

because they go on oncoming traffic. It was a 10 car car pilot they want to get out to the side of the road because cars are just ramming or just there's not enough time to stop. Right. This crack up and their dogs got out of the car and are so like you know like terrified because they just been in a car accident they just take off in different directions on a highway and they they were lucky. One dog was picked up just, I don't know, relatively close to the scene by an on, on, on, on coming ramp to the, to the highway. A car stopped and got the, got the dog in the car. The other dog, they couldn't find anywhere. And they had

to leave because they had to go to hospital to make sure they didn't have any internal bleeding. So they had to leave the, the to go to hospitals to make sure they didn't have any internal bleeding. So they had to leave the the site of the accident and abandoned their dog who just ran away. So they're thinking they're on a major highway in Florida. Either a someone found the dog someone hit the dog or the dog is hiding in the woods, you know, there's only three alligators. They're fucking guessing. Yeah. So they proceeded to go back So they proceeded to go back to the site after they were got released from the hospital and look for the dog for eight straight days. Eight days. You know, putting food out and on the eighth day, you know, it's looking hopeless. And they go home from the, you know, from the site and they get a call at like two o'clock in the morning

that the guy who towed their car, who towed their car out of there was listening to them, you know, talk about how their dog got out and everything and how they're looking for their dog and everything. They told the tow truck driver this and that tow truck driver was awakened at like two o'clock in the morning by a dog barking at his front door and it was their dog. He doesn't even live near the site. He said, it was still in the car? They think that the theory is that the dog maybe smelled the car on his truck. Oh wow. I mean, how else could this dog just wind up at his house? The dogs are fucking crazy with that smell. Dogs are amazing creatures, man. Like you watch, again, you watch something like cops

and shit, how fucking fast those dogs. First off, I don't think they teach the command stop. Like when we get dogs to attack people, because the dogs never let go. The guy's like, screaming his head off and the dogs like, and just will not never let go. The guy's like, ah! Screaming his head off and the dog's like, ah! And just will not fucking let go. But then they have like, you know,

the ones that are like tracing for sentin' shim and it's like they go miles. Yeah. Like fucking miles. I'd explain that though. Has a dog just find that truck though? Yeah. What was it that brought him to that guy's house though?

Did anybody sit in the cab of the truck with him or no? I don't know. Yeah, there's a lot that I just was here in that story just like fucking like a maze. Top of a story. And, but yeah, that's a good story though. Like everybody got out and nobody was hurt and the dogs are now all returned. Oh, it makes me happy to hear that. Yeah.

It's a good story. I remember my cat Brooklyn, I found on the BQE like going to and then like there's no doubt if I had a pick drop should be splattered without a doubt. Another five minutes most every time I drive past that which is a lot when I'm going to when I'm working but lately I haven't driving a lot and it's been hadn't and every time I drive a dress that's what I imagine my because now she's been my cat for seven years, I imagine now if I saw my cat on that street and I get that anxiety every time where I'm like,

you can't, I can't even imagine my two dogs running and each direction on the highway. Yeah, it's on, into oncoming traffic they're running. I would, yeah, I would, I would just start running. I would, I would just start running. I would, I would, I would just start running. I would, I would, I would, I would just start running. I would, I would, I would, I would start running. I would, I would, I would start running. I would, I would, I would start running. I would, I would start running. I would, I would just start. I would be just like overbearing.

It would just like make you fall to your knees. Like, who do you run to? Have you chased? You're never going to catch him anyway, though. I was in Maryland at one of those at a rest stop. The kind that are like in the middle, like you know, it's in like an island in the middle of sort North and South. And there was a guy walking a dog and he goes like to fiddle with the dogs collar and the dogs

I jump and all over the place and shit Somehow the dog gets off the leash and is like I mean as fast as as fast as you know That's my dogs and like disappeared Yeah, I always marvel at like these dogs like dog owners who who walk on like a major highway with their dog But no with no leash and they're so confident that their dog is never gonna leave their side. I've never had a dog like that, but I could never do it. No. Never had a dog that I could trust to not fucking just run in the opposite direction of where I am as fast as they can. Yeah, like I personally never owned a dog

that doesn't tug on their leash so hard that they're all fucking tired. It's for training. Huh? You gotta put those, you gotta put the hours in if you don't want to have that type of dog. Edgar went and got two dogs trained from PetSmart. Neither one of them listen. Neither one of them listen. You guys gotta put it, it's, don't blame PetSmart.

PetSmart gave you the guide book. They gave you what you gotta do. Now it's up to you guys. Not my dad's fault. PetSmart gave you the guide book that gave you what you got to do now you it's up to you guys Anymore ads no no more ads. What am I looking at here? That's the scumbag I had I had so I wanted to ask you guys about it It's kind of not in the news anymore, but like for a while, but we weren't able to meet It was every day there seemingly was a new story about UFOs and videos being cleared to be shown

to the public, you know, what are they called? Well, they're not, what's it called? The declassified. Sure, yeah. And I ask you, you know, that when the government says we have no idea what these things are, we can't explain it and we can't even begin to even catch up to it, to even try to figure out what it is. Does that, how does that make you feel? Does it give you anxiety

at night? No, I don't know anything about it. I mean, but basically, they're telling you that like, we don't know what it is and this is what we paint This is what our tax dollars are going for though. I would think is it I thought it was some meds tickets for scumbags The New York City now like if you it to get you to come to your court date Yeah, they'll give you meds tickets if you come to the court date really they're doing they'll pay a hundred dollars to get a vaccine Yeah, they're doing anything they can well that at least like I get it for the public could if everybody gets vaccinated But the court thing is just like they're bribing you to show up to your desk appearance with like tickets

Yeah, but why who's gonna do that unless it's the most lamest like you know you just in You know you're jail walked yet You know that would be the only reason you go get a med stick a new New York City, bro It's the Bosios New York med stick. It has to be like the meds tickets out way. You're right. You're like, I wanna go see the meds anyway. Yeah.

If I pay my $70 or $100 ticket, it's kinda like, oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me. Wow, this tornadoes are really rare, we're in there. Come on, get them. What is it, tornado? Yeah. Wow, another tornado, man. This is like Kansas. Yeah. New Jersey now.

This has been the wettest summer we've had in forever, right? I would think fucking reans every other day, it's insane. It didn't rain once in Key West. No, not a, like, not that effect. Five minutes. Yeah, I was fucking, I was hanging out with Jordan before recording. She was like, I can't believe how much it rains here. And I'm like, this summer, it's like something's going on around here.

But off topic, though. Oh, right, back on topic. This doesn't give you any kind of like, like when you lay down and like before you close your eyes, before you like, you know, take stuff. Well, the Zanix kicks in. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. You're not like, you know, you don't question like,

well, what is it? Well, and like this doesn't like, you know, it's question like, well, what is it? Well, and like this doesn't like what if Like we need to be a bit more diligent, don't you think the government to find out what the fuck it is? The government does right? Yeah, but you were the one that taught me not to believe anything the government says. I don't they say they don't know what it is They know what exactly that's what I want. That's what I was gonna tell I say. Yeah, there's no fucking way in the planet that that fucking arrogant fucking CIA or FBI is ever going to admit to Congress. Yeah, we don't know what it is right bullshit misdirection all the way They know what it is and they are unwilling to tell

Earthly origin absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. There is no such thing as unearthly origins. I don't believe I don't believe anyway. Wow Is that a new stance as yours? I always wanted to believe but you're telling me in 2021 we have UFOs flying all over the place There's so much footage that we can't keep up with it, but it's always on a grainy camera Yeah, I mean the cameras that we have on phones now are way better exactly There's no chance on the planet that like these jet fighters don't have the state of the art cameras. It's always a black and white grainy.

Oh, there it is right there. It's a little dot. Sure. What's that? Yeah. You're telling me. There's a camera on the top of the Empire State building right now that you could zoom in to the ferryboat on Staten Island

that's going and see people in the wind though. And see their faces. It's like a million megapixels on top. It's free. Anybody can access it. That is how good it is. That's right. So why are all the UFO declassified videos seen through like shot through toilet paper?

It's bullshit. It is bullshit. We're here to call it out. Truth every single day. Fuck yeah, overkill baby. I, we're here to call it out truth every single day. Fuck yeah overkill, baby I hope we don't get shut down We really shouldn't be fucking ever calling into question the CIA or the FBI What what is kid think about UFOs you think it's real you think it's

Wow You think it's real? You think it's uh... This... Wow. I'm gonna shoot it. I don't think... Come over here. I'll get him. Yeah, we need the... We need the opinion of a 148 on this whole thing. We need somebody who...

With the intelligence... To really look at this situation and tell us what he thinks it is. I like your shirt, by the way. Nice and purple. Would you have come to Key West? Oh yeah. Bullshit. Such a lying piece of shit. I know. He wouldn't even take one day off to go to my wedding.

Now he's going to fucking Key West. That's fine. Well, I was forced to do that by the store. Since I don't have to worry about the store anymore, yeah, I would, you know, you're free to go. Yeah, enjoy my retired. Yeah, we should have brought him. Yeah, I just say we take another trip. Mm, let's just do it. We don't are go. Yeah, enjoy my retire. Yeah, we should have brought them. Yeah, I just say we take another trip.

Mm-hmm. Let's just do it. We don't are retired. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now he just hangs out at the store every day. It's like five days a week. I take two days off because it's very stressful. But you couldn't have gone anyway, because didn't you have a big wedding this weekend? This weekend I did, yes. So you wouldn't have went. If you would offered the invite to Key West would you have would you have gone? I had not gone to cousin Becky's wedding. I had a plan in case I wasn't sure if the Olympics weren't during Cousin Becky's wedding so I had a plan what I was gonna do is get cute and wish them a happy marriage And I was gonna send that in my place Same exact thing. Yeah, you never asked me Because the Olympics didn't work on the same weekend.

I was, he wasn't about Key West, I see. Yeah, yeah. Okay. But you'll go to Key West if we go back? Oh yeah. You ever been? I'm not sure. I've been a Florida couple of times.

I was younger, so I'm not sure if I've been to Key West. You're kind of town. Lots of drinking. Oh, shh. That's what he does best. Yeah. I get the finger improvement You know he has a gout finger. I wasn't aware you could get out in your finger

Those are finger bang. It's all plumped up a little flare up this this week Can what are we gonna do about you in your lifestyle? This is why we don't want to hire him. Could you imagine what the health plan would cost for this? You got to fix your life. I can't get into it with him again. I'm not gonna do it again, I'm not gonna do it again. I tried it, I tried three times, I can't. You said he's broke that finger a year ago and he just put a splint on it last week.

A splint he got on Amazon. He tells me shit like this at the barbecue, the lunch, and I tell him, like go to fucking doctor. Never gonna do it. And then I feel like a man. No, no, no, yeah. Oh, you roll your eyes at me every time I tell you what you should do. You are an ad. That's I believe he loves me. If he was here every day, I do tell him. I love him. He would be nagging you though. If he heard the stories that you tell me about all the shit that's wrong with you,

do you hear the stories I tell you? Yeah, and I tell you, you gotta go, get yourself checked out, you just can't let yourself go like this because it's eventually, it's gonna be something major, and you're gonna be like, why the fuck didn't I go get that checked out? You're putting yourself behind the April,

you're not even young anymore. Yeah, you're not a kid, that's the big thing. Oh, he says that now, but he throws it in my face that he's younger to me all the April. You're not even young anymore. Yeah, you're not a kid. That's the big thing. Oh, he says that now, but he throws it in my face that he's younger to me all the time. Really? He thinks he's a child. He's the hot, he's the hot young man around him. Because I can see and you can't.

That's what it's about. Holder, 43. Yeah, 40. So you're 10 years younger than us. When did your site start going? Right around 44, 45? Yeah, you need. For me. Yeah. When's the last time you had a rectal exam? We can get a doctor. Yeah, come on, doc. I want to do that. You do a rectal exam on the air, not with video.

Unless you want to. Judge, you have to be drugged. No, right? One that was drugged. You're just fucking relax It's a relax. Can we pay your doctor? Whatever he would have got, you know, for an office visit? Uh, I mean, being that he's a professional like doubt he'd want to do it here. But it can't hurt to ask. Oh, yes, it's a proctologist. Yeah.

We had Murray get at least two proctologists on air. So, yeah, they could do it. well in in like a proctology office now One in his backyard and one in a fucking Hilton. It's proven Winner gold You're better than the Joker fucking I think man episode 500 I want to just here. I want to get like a mic right on that like the squishy finger going in I'm gonna gray market Prologist

So you have phones your phones so wait wait before we go to you ourselves are you gonna get in shame? I'd like to try but I probably So wait, wait, before we go to USOs, are you gonna get in shape? I'd like to try, but I probably... What does that mean? I kind of know myself, I'm probably not, I would take something to do it. An impetus. What if I got you, you could do it all on, with, what Steve, this trainer, trainer guy that I, when I'm in my body's not falling apart, I work with. Would you do it like three days a week? I don't think I have that kind. You could do it here at the Stess. Barrow the computer over there. I know myself. I just want to. Yeah it's it's a certain

like when I was walking five days a week that was was, yeah, I was motivated to do it, but if I'm not motivated, as soon as I felt, as soon as I fell out of the habit, I fell out of the habit. Yeah. But you have so much to offer. Why don't you get back in the habit? I don't know. I wish I could do that.

I think a lot of people feel that way. I think most people like, I don't know why I don't do the things I'm supposed to do. Oh, because like what's easier? What's the path of least resistance, right? Sitting around drinking what you want, eating what you want, not exercising, which fucking sucks it's annoying.

Eating for that, eating for that. I like eating. It's, yeah, but we're at the age where these things are going to start catching up to us. Life is gonna get hard if you don't, because it's getting hard for me. Do it in only two years older than you. Listen to a man. He's a wise man.

I remember what I was in shape. It was a good feeling as it were, but it's honestly not much different than, you know, the feeling of not doing anything. different than you know the feeling of not doing anything. But don't you feel like your chances for what you want in life are gonna be improved like I you can land that fucking that PCS in your car to office. It didn't happen when I lost weight. But you're in a different position now. And you are too skinny then you look like you in the

Eads. Oh, yeah, you definitely look like a cancer bro. Okay, everybody was saying it. It was like the 80s around you. Okay, did you make a pass for me on the quilts? Did you make a pass for me on the quilts? No, it was, I think, and that was kind of what started me falling out of the habit was that that was what I had in my mind was that yeah, yeah, you know, just got out of a relationship, don't be for a blind guy.

I'm going to get myself in shape, get better than, you know, then she was. And then nothing, it was still just as long we well what you telling you man you have like you said though you have so much to offer you just got to like it's tough but you got to get you got to start caring about yourself more yeah I agree yeah I just don't want to see a head into middle-aged and get yourself a bad medical from by the way it's too late for that

It's not it's not because things do get worse man and and I am in the same boat, dude I got my cholesterol through the roof. I got to work on it. I don't But maybe we could do it together How do you lower cholesterol just like not eat? medication to right? Well, that's what I'm on. That's easy. Yeah.

Just like, when he's prescribed to me, he was like, this isn't the answer. He's like, the answer is diet exercise. And I'm like, okay. And I go to Key West and just fuck, it's not drinking a night now. Or eating cheese fries and shit. Yeah, yeah. I know it does, but I keep- But it is like, I don't know.

I guess you live, like you don't live as long, but like you go to Key West, it's like, do you want to fucking be here to a diet? Do you want to hear to our regimen? That's vacation, I'm talking about day to day. Did a day, yeah. Can science do that? Can science make something that's good for you

but also tastes really good? That's where I think science should be focused on. I think that would help people. Yeah, but you where I think science should be focused on. I think that would help people. Yeah, but you don't think science did it. Like, if they can make some rice cake, the taste of like an order of chili fries. Who would eat it? We can't do this. Fucker people to take vaccines. You think they're gonna, they're gonna eat medically fucking induced fries that make you lose weight? As long as it tastes like that, I would, I would eat it. They never do that. Yeah, that's the problem. It's just never tastes the same.

I was, The human lifespan, it's supposed to be like, what, 35, then now it's ended the great on the lift to like 40. Yeah. Like you live now to like 80 and stuff. So I just haven't done enough for you. They gotta make delicious fries too.

Out of rice cakes. Yeah, like, it's all I can about. Just make healthy food taste better. That's it. Dude. I'm not asking for much why I can't Let's just talk about the UFOs because I'm gonna get myself worked up about Yeah, why you get worked up about it because I worry about him and when he gets out the floor and he heaves

Oh, it's way over here and he's like oh And he's scouting can't bend his fucking finger. He's my friend. I worry about him. No, no I didn't mean I Understand why I'm I'm just like, but why did you, why did you get a little annoyed at him like, you know, taking the science community to task for not creating healthy food that tastes good? Because I'm in the same boat with him. I'm like, yeah, fuck you science. If you can't fucking deliver, you know, a tasty soy burger, right, that tastes like a real hamburger. I tried soy burgers. I smelled it. They don't smell right. They don't smell right. Okay. tried so many of these? I smell it. I smell it.

They don't smell right. They don't smell right. Yeah. And they don't smell right. That's the first litmus test. Right. So the reason I got annoyed is because like, the vegetable tastes shouldn't be the thing

that makes you like take care of yourself. That's a big reason why people don't though. Yeah. Okay, but all right, for eat the wings, eat whatever you fucking does. But like do the walks. You like do your stuff like, yeah, you got a lot of time to burn. You go for a walk. You could.

So could I go for a walk once a day for an hour and fucking knock that shit out. But it's boring to walk, isn't it? Is it boring to walk with somebody else though? And you're talking a lot as you're walking depends you're right We need walk process a walking club What if I said walk prostitute? That's a good idea. Yeah, I get a walk for an hour. I'll give you 50 bucks What and you're what else is falling apart? I'm a little concerned. You say you're you're falling apart. Is it just a cholesterol? Collessor all I got I got a bulging disc now in my neck

Oh, and it's let it's it's on my radial nerve So like it my thumb tip my tongue tingles all the time and if I say tongue or thumb thumbs, okay, tip my thumb tongue tingles all the time and If I sit a certain way my whole arm tingles that's exactly what I have that's why I got that epidural. Oh, it sucks Yeah, it's awful That's why I got that epidural. Oh, it sucks. Yeah, it's awful. Mm.

Had that. We're old. It's old. Just the way I sit. How did you, and now, upcoming in, and by, like, the late August, we're going to be releasing the picnic Olympics on Patreon. Yeah. Want to pimpe it a little bit here.

If you're not on Patreon, I think this is the, this might be the, the episode to get John there because it is jam packed with TSD's brightest. The brightest stars in the TSD universe all showed up for this. No, we have never had this many TSD illuminaries in one spot, in one location. This is a once in a lifetime event. And nobody was there to witness it with us, but that's okay, we did get it on camera. But how did you feel afterwards?

Because after the first years of pick the Olympics, you didn't come to that one, when it was the one in the middle of COVID, I was wiped out. This one though, I think there was, I planned it so there wasn't as much running and physical activity. I felt like pretty good afterwards.

I felt okay afterwards. I mean, we were all gonna go to fantasies. Yeah. Mr. Five was gonna go. Yeah. Frank was one that killed it. Do you think he killed it because she was willing to go? Yeah, I think, yeah, definitely.

That's probably nobody. There's certain type of guy who wants, you know. Doesn't want the lady or his old school. Yeah, he's traditionalist Yeah, he well that killed it But I did go home and got him a couch for the rest of the day Yeah, it was a fun we played five or six different played like I said I wanted it like pimp this up because I think this is something that like if you if you like tell him Steve Dave You don't even, if you like Tellm Steve Dave, you don't even love. If you like it, you're going to watch this because we play extreme horse shoes with just

oversized horse shoes. Kind of warmed up. I don't want anybody getting hurt right out of the gate. So we saved the more strenuous activities for later in a day. But we open up with the Olympics with a game of horse shoes. Then we go into extreme badminton, which was six on six in a tennis court with an oversized a birdie. Yeah.

That was good. That was a raucous one, man. Yeah, there was some volley. We played it like volleyball. Yeah. So that like there was volleys and like it wasn't just like if you didn't make it over with one shot, your teammate could help you get it over kickball, old school kickball. I mean, I got to imagine you guys haven't played a game kickball in decades.

Decades. Then we went to football. Yeah, we were worried that... That was the one where I was like... That's where I was like, because then I started giving that safety speech, where I was like, did you guys stop taking this seriously? After you ran like a maniac trying to make it to first base. I almost didn't tell everybody else.

I coped out everybody. This regard, you run it regard Q running as a... It's very life. I got that first base. I almost broke my ankle. And then I was so out of breath from running like 20 feet. And Frank three. Frank three is there.

Yes. He looks like he's gonna die. He's all go. He's too into it. So I had to throw water on him until I'll you know cool him down. Well, they're a little fucking out of control. There was a moment where I lost my cool Frank Dury and I told him I would never invite him to anything else ever tell you they've related because he got on camera. Oh, definitely. Because he's just starts arguing me over every single thing and I'm like we're not playing real sports No, we're playing games. I made up last night. You can't possibly you can't possibly know the rules of the game. I made up

So he plays a touch football and then we ended up with Three-legged soccer that was one that killed us. Yeah, that was the one that, like, I thought that would eliminate running, but I didn't factor in it could also result in broken ankles. As people, like, you know, trying to go in one direction, if your partner doesn't go in that same direction, it could be a problem. Yeah, and the other thing about it too,

although Brian wasn't that bad, but I didn't notice that, like, it was also the end of the day and everybody was all sweaty, and then we strapped like, I was like, it was all the end of the day and everybody was all sweaty. And then we strapped like, Oh, Brian, yeah, you're three leg a partner. That's the one thing that I didn't anticipate either. It's like everybody's gonna have their wet leg and go up and have each other.

Yeah, there's a little bit like, I mean, like I said, Brian, I didn't really notice it, but, but, you know. Like if you had to, if you had to, you know, hook up with Frank True's sweaty. Frank True's sweaty. Would you put, would you put you would you put with you put you would you put of course I would have done it

Frank three committed he's not a repulsive human I was just saying like he was sweaty Frank three what does that tell you but yeah because he best way to play was to put your arm around the other person yeah

you were so sweaty man it was fun I mean I think people who watch I'm gonna love it because it was a lot of arguing a lot of bullshit There's a full time. There's like with a three-legged thing There were a couple teams that were just practiced walking the entire time the games going on They're still practicing walking The ball would go near them and they wouldn't even pay attention because they were just trying to work on their footmanship on their footwork

Yeah, but yeah, that's gonna come out late August so You know get on here now because there's other content on there. I'm sure I have to enjoy it as well. Okay thing What if we we have to get the permission we have to go there and rig it up with go pros But what if we did a tell them see David, but like, this isn't the proctologist. Yeah, that escape room. Yeah, really don't know what's going, you know, we go and we just get permission to shoot it there. I don't think that would be a problem. I think escape rooms are dying. Please, if you have people come in, especially a great group big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big, like, get him trying to solve an escape room. Oh, I think you try to deal with it. Yeah, I think that would be good content. Yeah, that's something that we had on dock

that we were definitely going to attempt. Speaking of the Patreon, I took Sage and Marybeth bowling the other day. And after we went bowling for Patreon, I was like, yeah, Sage likes to bowl. Holy shit, that was expensive. Yeah, it's crazy, man. Like, bowling used to be like a cheap way to go out and like have some fun three dollars of

game it used to be right yeah now it's like I think it was six bucks a game and the shoes were an extra rental and like fries or ten bucks you know well yeah you they got to make up for all that they don't have a lot of people bowling now so you to make up for the difference you got to charge a little bit more but UFO is getting what do you what do you think that that footage is that's now being released so, you know, like, oh well, we just don't know what it is. What do you think it is? I've not seen the videos. It's tough for me to believe that it's actually aliens because I think if you're going to come to another world, you would want to, you're either it's advanced enough

that you can hide yourself and see from far away and just judge us by the radio communication stuff that you can receive. I just can't picture them coming down and just playing loop deloupes with jets and stuff. I probably think it might be other countries just having just a little bit more better tech and just fucking with our kind of points.

Better tech than us. Yeah. Like, where are you? I can't get the fuck outta here. You've got a lot of other fucking mind. Just fucking vodka, chugging, they're not doing anything better than us over in Russia. What about China, though?

Yeah. No. No, you need, you need American ingenuity and freedom. What about Musk? Musk is just fucking around with the you know It's another way to spend his money. He's building these amazing crafts. They can do amazing things And he's just you know he flies him around and you don't get the bus. Yeah, the American citizen. Yeah, yeah He's one of us. Yeah, that's what we say to China. Hey, we got musk. We got musk I know everybody hates that guy, but I'm like, fuck him. He's coming up with some shit.

We got a musk. When he's in a shit to space, he's coming up with cool cars. Why, why, fuck musk? I don't get it. But you really believe though that other countries can't be more advanced than us. I mean, we've kind of lost our way in some aspects. You know, we, I don't know if technology is something that is paramount. There are things that are taking precedent over being the best and having the best tech like.

We're the weakest. That is more important at times, though. Is it a headline, bro? That's the headline. That's what that's what that's fucking bullshit. They want you to pay attention to. Okay. You know, and so it's real shit's going on real shit. So the real text. Oh, Area 53 area 53 not even 52. That's the bullshit. They're feeding you. Fuck. They want you. They want you to think it's 52. Yeah. I'm fucking. I'm asleep. How many fucking whose cast is what and what one? I know. Well, you know, who, what could you, what words could you say and not say?

Nobody's all yearning about that Meanwhile behind the scenes They're creating below the surface. They're creating aircraft that will Decimate our enemies. They love the cultural shit these people the black box people. They love it Keeps everybody distracted. There's a last time. We're gonna see QC. I. He's gonna get them Want me to I'm playing into the game. Oh, because I sound like a crackpot now. So the more that I say it, the more less realistic it sounds. Right. I sound crazy. So you still think that there's no nation on the planet with more advanced tech than America

has and more that can ever take us out. I don't think so now. Who would India with all their physicists? Yeah. I'm not going to be a factory people. And I think that anybody that gets a, remember when everybody thought Japan was going to be the big thing? Yeah.

Was Japan now? You never hear about him anymore. Right. He's in there too quiet. Now it's now it's China. I mean, well, what's going next? It'll be something else. Well, we're in charge We're still in charge. We're a hundred percent in charge. We're still the standard. We just raised that defense budget. Just raised it

Above what it already was we just raised it more than like most countries spend in a year Right now. Do you think that's a good thing or a bad thing? I think we should have raised it twice as much. Why what are you concerned about? Got to defend those UFOs. But what really what are you what country are you what like? Why do we need to spend that much in defense? Do you know I'm all honesty? I'm like, I'm like, why is it so high though? Like what don't we know? But no, no, no, you you're answering your own question. What other country can touch us? Right. None. But why do we just say we're spending that much and not really spend it though?

Oh, yeah. We have to keep it. Yeah. Just tell the other nations that we're spending triple or four times as much as we did last year. Who said, what president said it speaks awfully and carry a big stick? It was a not a. FDR.

FDR. Well, one of them said it and he was right. You just don't, the one thing we should never let down is that is our budget for defense must always be 20 times higher Is that warmongering no don't give a fuck no Is using it offensively okay, I'm talking to defense. You just have it in your pocket anybody would be fucking crazy to come after us crazy We had pocket anybody would be fucking crazy to come after us crazy For at least the next 50 years, but haven't they already come after us don't we don't really do anything? It's about for a while, but we fucking dropped two out of bombs. It was a long time ago The largest air force the largest air force in the world is our air force the second largest air force are Navy

Dude there you go right there. Yeah, it was a long time because I really looked at that and I'm like, oh fuck now. I don't want to have to drop another bomb on someone to remind them. Well, that's... I don't want to. There's not a chance on the planet. I mean, that they'll ever use nuclear weapons again. Unless it's retaliation. Different weapons now.

I certainly hope so, but... There's computer viruses. There's all this other stuff. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. Like, acts of war yeah have been have been have been put out into play against America we don't really do anything about it yeah we're getting cyber bullied yeah we're getting cyber what do we do

to them I don't know anything it seems like all I hear about is when we're getting fucked it's like oh yeah they shut down this you know we got all pay more for gas so as you're saying that we're doing even worse shit to those countries, but we just don't know we were doing it. Nobody knows. You're not going to tell anybody. I believe so. I don't think that America would shut down

like nuclear power plants and shit like that, so they melt. But I think other countries would. But yeah, I, I, I, I mean, do you doubt for a second? I mean, I says has a a second that United States has a robust computer like force? Like right out of MIT get in there. I don't know. I don't know. Get in there. I really I wonder if they do like do they have the best and the brightest though working for the Government the rumor is they don't because of drug testing. That's what the rumor is

Yeah, government. The rumor is they don't because of drug testing. That's what the rumor is. Why they want hot pens in there? They don't want cement heads. So they they they keep them out, but they're the actual people. But look, but look when they when Shine was a China that went in and stole and released all the emails and in about Regarding the studios and Hollywood was North Korea, right? All right. Okay. Nothing. no reaction, nobody did anything. They just let them get away with it. We just let these countries do whatever they want

it feels like. That was no love, they have good love. Yeah. Maybe that we know of. That you know of, maybe we retaliate. Well, how else do we stop? We don't get a North Korea newspaper, you know what's going on over that?

Maybe King Jong Un went to use the toilet and the fucking thing shot it right up his ass. And nobody knows. But what's the good of keeping in a secret because in other countries and look at it And be like well, they're paper tigers. I don't do anything. I think the right people know yeah Besides what did they do? Well, they did release a bunch of fucking emails from Fox. They attacked our most valuable resource our celebrities I mean it was fucking everybody read those emails and everybody having a talk. Yeah, but then they released a movie though What was that movie called the yeah James Franco fucking movie is everyone just career That's I watch I watch pineapple express and I'm like I fucking love this guy. He's so good in that movie.

I don't know what did he do. I didn't know this. He he he inappropriate. What did he do? I don't know that it was just that. I don't know that he did anything that say around this table. We would label what appropriate. I just tried to talk about girls. Where the girls are women. They were women. Okay. No, he got in trouble because he was coming out of a movie theater and a I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing.

I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing.

I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. No, no, no, no. Then he ran an acting school and apparently he was wildly inappropriate.

Guys at that stature, they got away until they get married and for blow jumps. So this doesn't come out. Well, that looks not so bad. I thought like when he gave me an air view on this. It's the point of getting that stature. I got a whole job. So just got to make sure that. But just to, you know, cover your ass, you know, make sure you're like, you know what?

I thought a lot about this. Because remember how I used to say, this is the least fun time to be on TV and stuff like that. But then you think about it and just like, I know what people that I know are doing, and they're doing it just fought. Like I think it was all over blown. Like I don't know, I don't feel that way anymore.

I think a guy could still go to blow a job today. I don't feel that way anymore. I think a guy could still get a blowjob today. I do. You gotta be careful. You can do it. You can do it. How are you careful, though, because let's say you break up, you know, it's a messy break up, then they could say, well, I didn't really want to give him a B.J. in the course.

We just got to convince him to do it on video. So I actually know people that that's the way they roll. They're like, we can't have sex, but only if I record it. And most of the time, it's the way they roll. They're like I we we can't have sex but only if I only if I record it and most of the time. And they say the excuses because in case you try to say I just 100% yeah. Wow. I still do that to marry. You're gonna see that yeah. They're jokers. No, no, not one of these guys. Why don't we give the impression I was talking about the environment, but I'm not. And I would tell you if I wasn't. No, because I don't think that's a bad thing.

I actually do that's kind of a smart thing to say. To take the romanticism out of the acto, the love making, it's not really love anymore. I mean, we're talking about getting the little gipsy. Yeah. Where's the romance in that? Yeah. Yeah.

Come on, you know, I mean, you know, I don't know. It feels like it would be kind of less special. It was kind of almost like dirty that you, that you, like, I want to put you on camera doing this so in case you ever accuse me of course. So much more special that way. I don't know. I, I, it's, look, it's, it's not my concern, but my concern, but it, I think it's a smart way to work.

If you're in that position, and that's the only way that you can do it with safety, like, why not? If the girl doesn't mind, I mean, I'm not saying high-grade. Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But if the girl doesn't mind,

then it's just like a negotiation for how to proceed, and they agree to it. And she doesn't agree, then you're like, all right, we got to part ways. That's it. Because the reality is it's fucking terrifying to think that somebody might turn around later on and be like, oh, I didn't say yes.

Yeah, but I just didn't get so over blown though, because how many times have you really seen that? Think about it. Like it doesn't really happen. It's happened. It's happened to get this frank or right? It's not. It's happened once or twice, but do you think celebrities have stopped getting blow jobs?

I think they're getting blow jobs all these times. They've heard four people complain. You thought I love Hollywood and was like, well, just wait till we get married. Tell them Steve Day. Ha ha ha!