Tell Em Steve-Dave - #515: PhDeez Nutz

Episode Date: April 25, 2022

Bry goes to a water park, Walt suggests a better way of life, Bill Murray acts like a jerk.

I'm going to be a bunch of pervert here, but just a pervert. My home brother wants to see other hard cocked gear. I've never seen video of this little back fucking. But it's gross. That's it. Tell him very bad. Quick coward, Italian! Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell Him Steve Dave. Happy, belated Easter. We didn't say happy Easter before the last episode. I remember, remember, was Easter until somebody said something about Easter on Easter, I think. I was like, oh shit. Yeah, what Mary Beth was like, oh, we got a high

eggs. That's when I recalled. You had eggs on hand? She had these plastic eggs. Oh, she's like these big plastic eggs that you put stuff into. Yeah. McDonald's gives her certificates. Nice. That was, that was. And that was, that was the, unfortunately, that was one of the ones who opened the earliest. Then the rest were like socks, some starburst. That's a starburst, they're bad. And I go for it. You do worse than starburst.

Did you hear the report that was, you know, set the internet ablaze, that there was a bunny, there was a horrible mistake where he was handing out plastic eggs and inside the plastic eggs were condoms to children. No. Yes. Yeah, that happened.

I didn't see that. Yeah, yeah. Who's idea is it like, hey, you know what we'll do? Like that's asking for trouble. Yeah, I don't understand like why, but what good reason is there for a condom to go in the plastic egg? You're not gonna give it to adults that way.

It's a hand out to adults. Yeah, I'm an adult. I wanna fuck, I don't wanna fucking go on an Easter egg. And like now I gotta package the column. I gotta unpackage the column inside the egg. It's a whole thing. Yeah, but it was quite the internet story, you know, that made the rounds.

I have not been on the internet that much this past week. I've made like a conscious effort to read the news. I read a couple things here and there, like somebody getting killed in Queens and then stuffed into a duffel bag. I just, oh, I heard about that. Yes, Troy, if that was his case, and it looked like it was at first,

but then, because of the way the body was found, or because of where they died, it became like a different district. Or precinct, I guess you would say. I guess they don't want to say, if Cobb, the case solved it, they don't want Troy on it. I mean, they solved it, but. No, all right, well, I guess they didn't need Troy.

Where was this? This is one of those stories that I see the headlines for and I think I got enough. Like I don't need to read the headline. Yeah, I only need to read it. Doesn't it seem that way with most stories? Like you read the headline, you're like, I got it. Yeah, and you know, I think again, it's possible it was done on purpose, like some sort of statement.

Or it was also possible it was just complete and utter like, you have to teach kids about sex as soon as they're out of the womb. Yeah, the horrible mistake, maybe it could have been both. And I'm just not that interested enough to do any further deep dive on it. Yeah, your kids are young enough to give, that you could even care anymore, right?

Like you wouldn't have to explain what's this. I mean, I don't know if I, but you have some Easter money just was walking up like, you know, while we were away. And, uh, where do we go again? Connecticut and yeah, and all of a sudden he started actually, we did see Easter money walking around. And if he was handing out eggs and there was a condom and then I probably would have issued that. I probably would talk to've, I mean, you know, more at style. Oh, yeah. Sichi Buchi's, baby.

There was, I saw Don and Florida, there was an Easter bunny who got attacked. And I mean, this guy was like, he's like called like the, oh, what is he? The Miami Easter Bunny or the something Easter bunny? And he goes around all the time. And I guess some dude didn't like his stick and they start fighting and there's that I did see footage of that online. I'm just beating up this fucking Mr. Bunny for whatever reason. Yeah. There was something that we revealed that I didn't realize that the listeners didn't know but you probably don't know this though but you're

looking at a guy who who was an Easter Bunny for multiple seasons. I would don an Easter Bunny costume. They're trying to, for years. Where? When I used to work at the community center in the early nineties. Somebody reminded you of that?

Yeah, we were on the Tim Hill get wrecked. Oh, Timmy, oh, really? We failed only on Patreon. And we brought up the fact that yeah, I was the Easter Bunny. You would wave and all my everything. Yeah? He's the little hops.

I would act like a bunny. I wouldn't talk. Kids came to the wreck too. To see him. It was a thing. I would say it was probably about as big as Santa Claus to where a lot of kids are. I thank you for that. That's kind of you for saying that.

I was just a big a draw. Santa Claus, but we both thought that's bullshit. But they would have Andy Bingo and my job would be to prance around and kind of dance when as the balls were being called. Oh, I have candy over to the kids. They would pet me. Oh, I have it the lorean right now. Back in time to watch this far scow down. That's great.

What I loved about it was as I was told not to talk because it would really shatter. And plus they thought I would also, my voice would be recognizable to the kids. Okay. So I was told not to talk, which was awesome then. So they would ask me questions. I could either shake my head, yes or no. But I never broke character. I never spoke.

Wow. And one of the weird things was it was like one of those college mascot costumes. Like it felt like where you put the giant head on. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So the head didn't fit all that well. It was too big.

So I constantly had to be able to see I was constantly putting both hands on my both side of my head and doing it like this. So every picture that I that someone took me of a parent with a kid, it looked like it had a like a massive headache. So I was constantly rearranging my head. Oh, yeah, but I was I had to dance. Wow. I do like, you sound happy. You sound like you missed this. Well, I but I had to dance. Wow. You sound like you missed this.

He's telling me I'm over selling him. I remember it was a white bunny costume with a little blue vest that was the only clothes I wore. Even under the heat. You have nobody wanted to do it. I remember like our old boss Tim Hill, I remember him even saying, like he kind of threw it out there as like, I'm sure you don't want to be the Easter Bunny.

And I was like, fuck yeah, I want to be the Easter Bunny. I'll do it. I get paid to just not have to talk to them now. Yeah, I could just walk around and you know, just pretend I'm a rabbit and get paid for it. Yeah, that's the fun. Can I dress like the Easter Bunny every day? Yeah, but I was an Easter Bunny for at least four years. Wow, dude, that's the fun. Can I dress like the Easter Bunny every day? Yeah, but I was an Easter Bunny for at least four years.

Wow, dude, that's experience. That's not like a fly by night. That's a resume. Yeah, I can go to a shop and center right now in this round spring every year and probably get my old job back. Yeah, from 89 to 93. You may have heard tales,

old. So Mr. Flyinggan from the years 94 through 2020. This very moment. Why what made you not put on the Easter Bunny costume? You have no reason to like spring steam. Don't put on now.

Never. With them question your sanity. If you wanted to get back into it. now, every year. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

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What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?? What??ic? How was it called? Oh yeah. Gloomy fucking way over crowd it. There was a aquarium that was right across the street from our hotel. And since we were with my brother-in-law's family, he has a little kid that we went into the aquarium. And it was probably oversold by about four times the amount of people that should have been in

that aquarium at the end of the point. So there was like, there was so many people that like, if you're looking at a fish at one of the tanks, and like if I turned around, there was like somebody like right there trying to breathe in on my back. Oh, it's a super spreader. Oh, yeah. I said that. I was like, you know, this is definitely a super spreader event. Oh, but nobody wearing masks is some people.

Or, you know, I didn't see really anybody wearing masks. Yeah. But I was surprised that they didn't, you know, make people wear masks considering how many people were in there. And then part of the aquarium is outside, so you had to go outside and watch a show with some sea lions and she was cold. Yeah, so it wasn't a great trip in terms of like,

you know, it didn't feel like spring at all, it felt like middle and winter, it was gray. Gluby in for a week. Everything was fucking three times the price of what it was probably the previous year. It was nuts. I mean, I was like, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be a big fan of the movie, I'm not going to be to the American Dream Mall. I've been there. Have you been there? I figured you had because you're a connoisseur of malls. How did you go just to look around? Did you go to any of the, I mean, they have like ice-cating rings.

It's like a mole of America type thing. Yeah, right. There's tons of shit. I did the ice-cating ring, but I did. I did the force perspective art museum. But I didn't say. I did the mini golfaw with the with the angry birds I don't agree bird golf I saw yeah we went to well she wanted to go to the border park yeah we

didn't do that yeah I don't like water parks they're they're successful they they smell fish you want to talk about people not nobody wearing masks? It's hard to wear a mask. It's hard because it's going to be so good. They could be wearing snorkel masks or something. I don't know. Anything. But it was a testament to how out of shape I am. Like, how come?

Well, we went like the first ride stage wants to go on as this 147 foot free fall thing where it's like it looks Dangerous. It's just like it's straight down and then it curves a little and you know you have to lie there or like stand there And you put your hands over your chest and you're you I think across your feet. I'm not sure But then the bottom just drops out and it's 147 foot fall. I went bungee jumping and it was 150 feet. That seemed really far to me. So I don't think she knew what she was getting herself into. Oh man. But like she had Marybeth did it.

That's what Dad asked for. Yeah. I'm embarrassed to say that I was like, I'm not doing that and I walked back down all the stairs. Did Mary Beth do it? Mary Beth did it. Yeah, I was just like, I don't want to do that. I don't like throw rides.

No. No, there's no shame in that. Is there a shame in that queue? No, no, not anymore. Not anymore. Not anymore. Not for the past few minutes. Not in 2022, no.

I don't like it. We're talking in the 90s, we might have a different conversation. You know what I am? Luckily we can have microphones back there. But roller coasters, all that kind of stuff, I'm just out of fan of it. And they had this giant wave pool. That's the biggest indoor wave pool in America. Everything like when Mary Beth was reading it off, it's like, it's the biggest this. It's the biggest indoor wave pool in America. Everything like when Mary Beth was reading it off,

it's like, it's the biggest this. It's the biggest that. You should be proud of that shit. It's in Jersey. I guess I shouldn't really. You see that change in the face? Oh yeah. That fucking Jersey.

That fucking Jersey. Jersey. Finally, Jersey's got something hanging on. I'm feeling more. Finally church has got something to hang your hat on Feeling mall Like I watched this video on YouTube about that they're like they have I think they have 50 million in the bank I like fucking 30 million in debt or something Easy it wasn't just a shooting there recently. Yeah, there was a shooting in the parking lot Not to long ago the American dream indeed. Yeah, she loved it though. Yeah, she loved it.

Is there something to be said for the irony of calling that place the American dream? Yeah, well first time I heard it, it's how I remember I was driving near Newark airport and I saw a sign, it said American dream, get off here and I was like, oh, that sounds nice. And then I found that it was a mall, I was like, that's an American dream, get off here. And I was like, oh, that sounds nice. And then I found that it was a mall. I was like, that's the American fucking thing. Like, what? Maybe they're right, I don't know. It was, going back to the expense,

it was $109 a person. And I was like, oh, what? Shit, that's like Disney prices. That's what I looked up. I was like, well, let me check this out. I got so one day price in Disney. Disney's $109 to to 159, depending on. So these tickets were $109.

And then if you want like the fast pass, like to skip the lines, it's an extra $40. Of course. You're probably worth it. You're paying a ready-1, 09. You might as well skip those lines. Here's where, here's where Sage's disability kicks in. Nice. So he was like, I ain't no fool. Yeah, I can't learn over a dot dot. That becomes the dollars and cents. I

was like 120 bucks for exploit this. Get over here Sage. So how does that work though though? How do you like for Nagel that you're just like you just go you can go up to the customer service desk or whatever the customer relations desk and you're like, hey, I have a special needs kid Do they have to you have to prove it with like some sort of test or something? I don't think so. I mean you could take a look Pretty much no Oh, you're right there. Are you just no. I'm like, oh, you're rolling around there. Are you just rolling around? Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, no, no. I got to bring her up. I thought you brought the tickets on the line.

With the front and center. I would like, I think everybody would do that if you're buying them online. No, we do. We bought the tickets online, but then once you get there, you can go to customer service. I like, come on, man. Please, isn't she suffering out now? What you're going to say? No.

You're the one who's gonna say no. But I was surprised, like everybody was like, really well behaved, like for that many kids, they weren't like wild and crazy and out of control and shit. That's nice. Yeah, so it was a decent day. However, being out of shape, you know, like,

to go on these rides, like I'll go on a ride with like, like a boat, you know, like a boat that goes around or something. That's not a ride. Yeah, sure. Does that count as a ride? It's like a roller coaster. Oh, I think if it just like was a- Like a slew line, like a lot of slew?

Yeah. Yeah. I think that one of those like, you know, like a paddle boat or something. Yeah, paddle boat and a route. That's their like, oh my god. But my calves and my quads, holy shit, I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it.

I could barely walk up the stairs. I was like, this is disgrace. So you had to push it. Is that why you had to pump your legs to make the cart move? No, I just had to walk up and down stairs. That's why it's really bad. Oh yeah, that's a bit different. As I remember years ago, my kids are really little at what's the one in Wildwood.

There was the overhead, there's these pedal carts. And you have to pump the, you have to keep pumping your feet to make the carts move. Right. And they couldn't do it because they were so young. So I had to do all the pumping. And when I got from where they released the cart to where it finished, I told my wife, I was like, you may have to call an ambulance, I said. I can't feel my legs, I said.

I'm ever getting off the thing and being like, I can't feel my legs. They were that numb and just like, literally. And then, yeah, it's like jelly, like spaghetti. And it took about a half hour from my legs to feel normal again. It was, it's like jelly like spaghetti and it took about a half hour from my legs to feel normal again It was it was in

Fucking rough. It was like like I thought I was gonna shit my pants like the fucking marathon Look at daddy Is that forever like can they ever forget that if they have? That's defining. It's not like a funny memory at like every family get together. Oh, it's eventually a funny memory, but you'll never find it funny. Oh, you think that they with my girls would not talk about it. They would not they wouldn't it would be never mentioned again. They're not like why should go crap your pants like

Ted. No I think they would be like that would be like the unspoken like they just want to forget they can't but they want to forget it. Yeah like they want to they want to rip their own retinas at it. Oh, my God. High sockets. But it could happen, man. I'm telling you, like it was egregious of the fucking 14 year old that was like, yeah, you can do this without any help. Like you needed two people to do it, but I was doing the job of two people. Right.

And all the weight of a family. Well, I know my wife wasn't on there. So again, my, okay, my girls were probably like you know 40 and 50 pounds and then me so that's not that much but it was rough work yeah rough work man's work oh my god yeah it like yeah I remember I remember just being like holy shit like I still think you Just like you can't just keep pushing like you can't keep pedaling if you if you show your pants, right? There in the middle you gotta rescue you gotta get out of there

You're a spectacle you cannot continue to pump those. It's not mashing enough. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like with each pump, like more and more comes out of your computer. You just gotta start, wait, like take your shirt off and start waving it like you need help, like SOS, rescue me. Shirts off.

What would it, what was it like a roller coaster would go like up and down? No, it was, it looked like a roller coaster. I'm sure it still exists, I'm sure it's still standing in Wildwood, but it didn't have any dips or dives. It was very not fast at all. So it wasn't really scary for kids, but it required that you propel it. From the moment you're released, from like when you're standing in line to the moment, like you get to the other end of the tracks, which was pretty fucking far, you have to do all the fucking work to get it there. And I had no idea it would be that strange. Tell me the girls at least liked, were they at least happy?

Oh, they're like, oh my god, can we go faster it's getting dark we want to go here and I'm just like I'm doing the best I can I thought we were gonna get I thought we're gonna get caught in Kenya it's gonna close before but you get there you're not good enough dad be better I had to learn to scuba dive this past week. I heard something about it. Yeah, for some more shooting, for discovery. You have never gone.

Never, never. You did. Had to go to the YMCA. I didn't even remember until you brought up the water park and the dirty water. Had to go to the YMCA pool. Right. But the water, you know, it wasn't. It didn't, it was so chlorinated.

Didn't have a million people in it. No, there was a while it was after hours, like they, you know, they ran to that after, but it was so chlorinated. I hadn't been in chlorine water, it's so long. But I got, I got the scuba gear, I got all the tanks and I learned how to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to? Well, I didn't wear it, but I did send me a... A big diving bill helmet. Yeah. But that's a little... For your Scooby-Doo villain.

They call it the frog. A wetsuit. The wetsuit. I have a wetsuit now. Mine's blue, but I have it. Yeah. Wetsuit, I got my own Scooby-Doo. They sent over the whole thing.

I got the back, I'm a regulator, and the mask. Did you have the band? No, but I now know how to combat the band. Did you're in Tusson's twist and tie up? No, and I found I did to combat the badger in testing No, and I found I did really well because a lot of the mask stuff is the same procedure as a as a fight because a fire department Mask is just a scuba thing not on the water. So all so many of the concepts I already had down and the emergency stuff that they try and teach you we heard already done for if you run out of air and a fire I was very similar. So it was like kind of a thing. So it was like what should have been like five hours I was able to do in three passes all the tests and yeah I'm certified, I'm excited.

So next week I go to the Bahamas where I'm going to be shooting, we swim in with some sharks. Oh my god. Yeah, dolphins. Now how deep are you allowed to go I can go Train so far I can go up to 60 feet now. Holy shit. Yeah, that's pretty deep. Yeah, how long let's take you to get from 60 back up to the surface How long do I tell you? Well, you got to take rest to rest to fight the Benson's I'm not going fifth I'm not that's how deep I can go. I'll probably go like 20 30 feet And then you didn't have any you can have some some safety people like Oh, it'll only be me on camera, but they will be like 10 people around me It's not like that. Yeah, but I'm pretty excited man like I always wanted it

I'd given up on the dream of scuba. I was interested in always sounding cool But then you get to a certain age like what am I gonna do? Fucking start scubaing now and then fate came along, and they were like, does anybody want to volunteer to do this dive? And I was like, yeah, I'll do it if they train me. And so they had me trained up. Are you going to go into one of those shark cages? No, I'm not, I'm going with, I'm going, no cage.

No cage? No cage? No cage. No cage, yeah. And go to what? I'm it can be. So I'm right up to a shark and yeah. Apparently they put this chum bucket down and then like the sharks just come and like they do this like cyclone above it and they just go down and eat it and stuff like that. And I want to be interacting with them. You're not concerned that getting too close to a shark is, is your scoop of suit like one of those chains? No, no, no, it's not like that. No, I mean, you know, I don't think they would let me do it. It was really like

Bad dangerous and they they said that these sharks are like basically like tourist sharks They get fed like three times a day. They're great white. No, I don't I don't believe this any great white Some sure it's all like yeah, I'm a hoods. I't even know, but yeah, I get to go and like do a dive and they're filming everything. I'm pretty, pretty excited. That's cool. Yeah. So you're the only one that's going in the water?

The other guys are doing it, but they didn't take the course, so they're doing the cage. Oh, okay. Yeah, but yeah, dude, it was awesome. It was so much fun. I couldn't believe how much fun it was. Yeah, there's something that you think you pick up as a...

I think it's something that you got to do as a tie. If I had a tie, I probably would. Yeah, but you could, like I can go on my pool now. Swim around in the... How deep is your pool? It's only eight feet, but you know... What would you do? It would be a double shark or two. Never have to come up for air.

You know, you should go away with it. When he has some downtime, his Sunday Jeff's into that too. Oh really? Yeah, he's a snorkeler get out of here. Yeah. All right. You can look for sand dollars on the surface while you're down 60 feet down. Stalker, you don't need to get trained. You just put it in your mouth and like splash around the kitty section. I guess you can scuba divers. We don't. We look down on people like that. Oh, okay. The way he was talking about it, like he, like he was

some big shot or something. Dropping that word talked to me when you certified, bro. I don't know. Motion, I got certified when we went to Fiji. Oh, yeah. And I never thought I would do it either. And I actually haven't done a sense. But there's something cool about just sitting on the bottom of a pool and being like I can breathe. Yeah That was weird, man. It was really cool. It was like a fun experience very zen-walt. Mm-hmm. It sounds like it. Yeah I just floated around and and I didn't know this. Do you know the packs? Have air bags in them. Do you know this?

No, okay, so the the gear that you wear in the rack with has It's a hose connected to your tank and that's how they maintain buoyancy so you like hit a button And it fills up the airbag and you pull this thing and it lets the air out so like when you're swimming along if you want to go lower You just let out some air and it goes down And go high put in there and it's it's like a, I didn't know that system existed. And I was like, oh, it's just pretty cool. I felt cool, man. It was like a new experience.

It was like a totally new thing. It was like awesome. Do you know why it's Zen? Why? Because it's right back into your mama's womb. That's why I feel so good. Smelling like seawater. That's why I feel so awesome. Because you like, because you haven't probably experienced that feeling since you were inside your mother

Yeah, just like wait list and yeah, well, I've been in pools. I guess but you think that's why something Jeff likes this normal Trying just get try to capture that mother Yeah, Sunday Jeff went down to Where's it a myrtle beach this weekend. I mean this is fucking part in this whole week I think he brought a daughter He's the guy though that like the all the high school kids and college kids were just adopt for the weekend to be like You know, I was like the wacky I love this guy. Yeah You're old, but you're cool.

Come on, Granddad. Let's do this. Yeah. You're right. And like, why don't you love to watch it? Yeah. Have you kept up your wrestling? Have you been watching anything?

Have you been keeping up on the vids? I have to be honest, since we last saw each other, I have not. I have gotten a ton of emails. Oh, really? Holy shit. Like, I think there's people like wrestling. The TSD audience. I think 99% of them love wrestling because. Oh awesome. Yeah, because they were like they are so excited at the prospect of us talking about wrestling every week.

I don't want to eat any time because it's not happening. That was a fucking utipornat episode. I was excited. I should write you an email. But I said that if we have to do a patron episode where you bring your all-time favorite matches and we watch them and commentate on them. I would definitely do that. But me keeping up with wrestling watching it during the week by myself, it's probably not going gonna happen.

Like, uh, but I could not believe the amount of listeners who were jazz that we talked wrestling. And it was just inundated my inbox and saying that like, like the amount of like happy, happy, happy listeners to hear about wrestling. Just really stunning. I had no idea. Oh man.

I gotta give you what they want, well, you don't think you can tell like an hour a week. I think we will have a good week. Good to see you talking about wrestling. Don't you say on Patreon, maybe we'll do a wrestling show. Yeah, yeah, but if Q was up for it, I'm up for it. I would.

Sal used to do this thing in this bar that I always thought was so much fun. He would play like an old WrestleMania and drop the sound out. And then the bar patrons could just come up and do commentary on it. So everybody would get drunk and like sit there and like pretend that they were the announcers.

And be like, oh my God, he's got a chair and stuff like that. I mean, you want to do something like that where people hit fucking play on WrestleMania six at the same time, we start comment. Oh, oh, you mean like a live one? Well, no, like an old one, like really like old matches and like do commentary on them. Yeah, we could do that. I mean, I would love to...

Anything that you want to do, anything that you're excited to do with wrestling? You got it. Yeah, you bring the energy to that. Okay. Because I can't bring that energy yet until I fall in love with it. Okay. I just dip my little toe into the wrestling pool right now. I don't want...

I can't go in there and treat and say that I know what I'm talking about because I don't. Okay. I know about light bulbs. About tables. Apparently, the guy, one of the guys that was on that clip I showed you, he has a wrestled sense and he actually has gone into, you know, hasn't been seen much. Really? Yeah. Fucked himself up. Yeah, I wonder. Yeah, they said that he's may have, uh,

you know, some brain issues after the, uh, after that, which it doesn't make, isn't shocking when you take a fucking. No. When you jump two stories into a truck bed full of light bulbs and plywood and barbed wire. Yeah, but I didn't even notice the barbed wire at first. Yeah, they're all stuck in it. Yeah. And then at the end, you're like, what did I do that for? You have for 30 people.

Well, I guess the internet too. I guess. The people I'm watching. I'm worth it to end them. I watched that video, no. Mm. Yeah. Did you say, you know what I was thinking about?

It kind of like past real fast. What we were talking about, Jackass last week. You said Johnny Knoxville got brain damage from that ball. From the bowl. He hit him. Yeah, he had brain damage. He had to go to therapy and everything. Really? To like get over it. Because after he gets hit, you see like his eyes are like all fucking like. Yeah, he had like an eight month depression. He couldn't get out of and he had to get on medication. He was a child's play. Yeah, it was pretty bad. He was like, yeah, He was in the butt. He was in the butt. Child's play. Yeah, it was pretty bad. He was like, yeah, he was on the Howard Stern Show talking

about it and it was, it sounded pretty brutal. Yeah. Yeah, that's what happens when you allow major head injuries, is that it causes depression. Right, depression, he couldn't think. He was having a hard time like, but he had to do like, you know, reconstructive like brain stuff where like like say words and stuff like that.

Oh, okay. No, that was that's major. And you have to re re educate yourself on how to speak. Yeah, stuff like that. It didn't sound fun. Well, we had a buddy. This is going way, way back to like, we had just got out of high school or a year after. And we had a friend who got into a fight, you know, during a rumble back when people used to rumble a queue. And some guy hit him in the back of the head with a bat, like a baseball bat. And that kid, our friend, couldn't, he lost the ability to

speak. He lost the ability. He first, he was like knocked out for a couple days. I guess he was considering a coma. But then once he, once he came out of it, like he couldn't talk, he was like, he was alert, but he just, he couldn't speak. He had to alert, re-learn to speak and everything. He's still alive today and he's doing fine. He could talk now. Yeah, totally fine. And can speak like it never happened. Geez, man. How fucking frustrating. Can you make noises? I don't know. Arrrr. What?

This stuff like that? You mean at the time? Yeah. I don't remember what I'm doing there. I just remember him lying there and being there. Arrrr. Arrrr. Arrrr.

Arrrr. Arrrr. Arrrr. Arrrr. Arrrr. Arrrr. Stuff like that. All right. you're learning, you're learning. Alright, this might take me a second

because I'm going off my phone. I forgot my iPad at home. We got the meds. We're talking about skincare. Mm-hmm. If your skincare routine is basically washing your face in the shower with that one shower gel, okay blah, blah, blah, blah.

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She literally just texted me that today. She got that fucking account? She knows, she ain't got the account. She goes, this might help you. And I looked at it, it's like virtue, but you also, or something. Yeah, and it's like, if you put them in your eyes and it clears up for,

24 hours for near sighting like, or far sighted. It's a chemical you spray in your eyes. Right. And then you can see well for 24 hours. Yeah. What does it do? Who cares? Fair enough and then can you please like see like see if she can

I'll tell you how big that'll be great because they're like $92 of a bottle Are they really at all that you the bottles are like we? You're gonna get like four days of nice vision and then the other 26 days in a month you're really putting a glass on. Can I afford to see? What if we can get in that sweet sponsor though? That would be nice. I'll tell her she'll try. Okay. What is this stuff called? Hold on. She, because I don't know. Oh, it's legit. I just saw a commercial for it on TV. because I don't know, I mean. No, it's legit. I just saw a commercial for it on TV.

FDA approved Q. Yeah, nothing on. We're trying to debunk a Q. I'm not trying to debunk it. I'm just, I'm interested because my vision's going. Is it? Yeah, it's getting pretty bad. Yeah, it was just one day, you're like,

you don't even realize it. And the next day, you're like, why is that fuzzy? And you never goes back to normal again. That's exactly the experience I had. It's just fucked up. One day, it's fine. And the next day, it's not. And you're just like, how is that fuzzy? And you never goes back to normal again? That's exactly the experience I had. It's just fucked up one day, it's fine. And next day it's not. And you're just like, how did that happen overnight? Yeah, it's pretty crazy.

V-Y-T-Y. No, I'm sorry, V-U-I-T-Y. Yep, what do you want to say? Vuity? Vuity. Vuity. And you guys, all right, well it's prescription. Okay, but you could do it online, just like Bluetooth.

Ah, Bluetooth style. Yeah. Side effects and warnings. So you guys care about this at all? No, let's hear it. Okay. So at the start point you get too old to care, right? Yeah, I'm like, fuck.

All right. Okay. As long as it don't fuck with, well, you know what, you get even fuck with my boners, and then I'll go on Bluetooth. Yeah, man, we got pills for everything when you're old. Oh, yeah. Okay, so they're saying call a doctor once if you're stinging, burning, swelling, or redness. If you have vision changes, but I thought that's what you're taking it.

Eye pain or signs of eye infection, common side effects may include head, a, your eyebrow pain, eye pain or irritation, eye redness, blurred vision, troublesome and low light. Oh, your eyes may be more sensitive to light, so you turn it to Mobius. Oh, the vampire? Yeah. Did you see that? Did you see the movie?

I almost went to see it, but the reviews were so bad. I did see it. I didn't see it. No, okay, I thought for possibly, you know, you love Spider-Man, so I thought maybe you would even dare to see it, even with all those horrible reviews. I'll see when it comes home. Yeah. Yeah, there's no need.

But going back to the eye drops, you would be reluctant. I, because I'm all seriousness, because I would, I would be, I would put a little bit of stock in if you were like, if you were worried about it. Well, I just don't, I never heard of it. So... But there's a commercial on TV. No, I got you there. You're right. That does, that works a lot, but my thing is, uh, it's a prescription. You got to take doses. It's not you do it in the morning. I mean, you do, but it's, it's a subscription, uh, a prescription. You have to use it because it's saying if you skip a dose, use a medicine as soon as you can, but skip the dose. If it's almost time for your next dose, not use two doses at once So I don't know what it is like what the fuck is it? What is it magic? Science Got to that point man. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, we could put a couple drops in our eyes and see again

Just like we were young lads. How great? Look at that man. Wait, we fucking we could put a few drops in our eyes See like Eagles for a fucking blue pill when that's up. Blue two? Blue two, fucking, fuck like we were fucking like back in the day. Like silverbacks. Is that what you want? Yeah, man.

Yeah, silverback fuck. No, but is that what you want? Is that what you want? You want a fuck like a silverback? Silverback, take what he wants. Oh yeah, man. It's fucking. There's no denying, like they like even a to fuck like a silverback take what he wants. Oh There's no denying like they like even a lion's like his silver back a crown. Yeah watches that fuck is silver back slates I have never seen

I've never seen video of the silverback fucking Shit I read Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I wasn't that pumped. No, but you were really had to like, you adored this guy. Yeah, but there's no reason not to. I mean, like just an allegation you're saying. Well, what we're talking about real fast is Bill Murray was accused of being an out of control asshole on set violent. No, I see. I hadn't heard that. All I heard was either there are allegations of inappropriate conduct.

And that's all I heard. Yeah, but I don't think it was sexual, which is what everybody leaps to. Well, to me, I'm just like, well, look, man, I'll just wait and see what he's gonna do. It's like, but you're not disappointed in him. And because I mean, there are guys like, you know,

like we've been- I mean, I've seen some of the complaints that are coming out and being labeled as inappropriate. I'll wait and see Give it a minute before I start crucifying the guy Like I said if he was just like a fucking dickhead to someone on set. It's just like well I mean they said that he they had to get like a They said that he had to get like a... Oh, Bill Murray allegedly handsy with women on his... Sorry, film set.

Uh-oh. See, that's a different story. I didn't read that one. That is different story. Handsy, that's no good. And his Z's has... He was allegedly touchy with the women on the set of being mortal before the shoot was shut down.

Like crew members? Casper's is so weird. No, just wanted to say. He's one of those guys who like before this happened, no. Like he had the stature that I was always kind of like scratch my head about. Yeah? Yeah, I always wondered why he was so great about it. I don't mean it like as harsh as that but I elevate it to the point of like you know like in like like a mythic kind of like the coolest guy that's ever walked the planet. Yeah and I didn't know what what gave him that groovy toss but what was the role role? What did he do that like was it the lounge singer

in the when he sung Star Wars on Saturday Live? Well, I think he just has a close story. He was a real player of playing a certain type of people in movies and they just associated him with it, I guess. And he did fucking do a pretty killer late life transition to a different acting style and you know, he's still relevant today. I mean, the guys got something that people responded.

What was the, what did he change? I'm not sure. Well, he stopped doing like, just straight, he started like, really acting and stuff, like like doing, going for it and like, doing dramatic acting and stuff. And he's in that scarlet red some movie. Lawson translation, he was in the West Anderson movies.

I mean, what's it? Rushmore alone was enough. Right. I mean, yeah, it's enough to make you look at the guy and be like, holy mean, what's it? Rushmore alone was an awesome. I mean, yeah, it's enough to make you look at the guy and be like, holy fuck, he's a really great actor on top of a good comedic actor. Do you like the comedic portion of his career? Are you finding yourself being more drawn towards his?

Yeah, I mean, he's at the point now, which is like, I'll just see whatever Bill Murray's in because I love him, but I love the 80s and 90s the comic stripes and chips. Yeah that's and ghost busters and stuff is my Bill Murray but I love him the West Anderson movies I think he's great in this. I agree with you though like he has this reputation of like he won't answer his phone and he doesn't like if he wants to do a movie he'll just suddenly tell you like you know if you give him a script he'll decide if he doesn't even have an agent, right? He doesn't have an agent, you gotta call like a phone number

I hear and leave a message and he gets back to you if he's interested. So, he doesn't, like, he doesn't, anyone call you, but. Yeah. But whatever, I mean, look, I mean, again, it's like. But you want to wait and play, and play. Yeah, let's wait and see how it goes on this one. I mean let's wait and see how they all are Let's not maybe not just

You know because I think yeah that Johnny Depp one is a lesson, right? Maybe we maybe they jumped to conclusions too soon. I guess I've heard of maniac. I mean they both could be maniacs. I mean I don't think anybody would ever accuse To me, it's just like my thing is like I'm not doing the research to find out who's right and who's wrong right? So therefore I have to be labeled as I don't think anybody would ever accuse. To me, it's just like, my thing is like, I'm not doing the research to find out who's right and who's wrong. So therefore, I have to be labeled as I don't care. Like if I'm not willing, like if I'm not, if I'm gonna join a crowd brain for the fucking head

of someone, like I'd probably take it on myself to educate myself a little bit before I do it. And since I don't wanna do it. Get him told me though that, cause I don't know anything about the case, but he was real interested in it. And he was like, feed him me, like, did you hear this? Did you hear this about the case?

Apparently she took a dump on his bed. Yeah, she should have a bed, yeah, it's a little bit of a... No, what? Oh, yeah, that's absolutely true. And she said it was the dog. I don't know if she said it was the dog, but I know that a dump was definitely taken. And I think she tried to skirt responsibility.

She hit the wall, and she probably did blame it on the dog. Oh, shit, and I and her and that. But that's the thing. I figure like, do you ever... She's a monster that the society will sort it out. They don't need me. But do you ever want for that kind of crazy in your life that kind of like like my gal just shit on my bed? I

Because I was out late last night. Oh my god, and I got into bed and it was a dump. It's like there's a little present for I wouldn't find that you're seeing it before You wouldn't think that kind of crazy just a little present for you. I wouldn't find that. Which I've seen it before. It wouldn't kind of think that kind of crazy, just a little bit, maybe just a week of your life. I have that kind of like, that kind of on the edge, kind of lunacy in late 20s, early firties, that would have been up for the story. But on my age, I'm like, nah, I don't wanna come home to that.

You know? Yeah, at your age of 40s and to 50s, it's like, it's over. Nobody wants to deal with it. Even like, Drunkenunken nights are too much Oh my god, dude. I went out What's it? I went out the the other night. I had three Martinis

over the course of like two hours and I had to hang over that lasted me 30 something hours I've no fucking clue how I turned into this person or what one of the other things like that. But it was, it was, it was not even through. It was like two and a half, not more, martinis and I was on a couch all day like trying not to throw up. Really?

Yeah. This is it? It's over sworn it off now? No. No. I don't, like I can still pack away like six or seven beers and still feel all right. Yeah, this is it. It's over sworn it off now. No, no Like I can I can still pack away like six or seven beers and still feel all right, but some about that hard liquor fuck killed me but Yeah, I mean, just you know what are you doing man?

Get older man. You need eye drops and you boner pills. You need to fuck. I'm saying need a Yeah, but your eyes are just going First you know fuck that I'm a scuba diver, man Yeah, I'm learning. Yeah, you're gonna have to get glasses and shit. Yeah, I probably will not I have readers already Yeah, I never use them though. I should What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? I do it. I used to think I was gonna beat it. I used to think I was a guy that was gonna beat it. We're gonna be father time. I was gonna beat the system, bro. I was gonna figure it all out. You think you have? No, I know I'm not going to. No, no, I used to

think that. Oh, I think you're kind of like you beat the system, no, in some way. I beat some systems, but I didn't beat the most important systems. You thought about who can you point to as somebody you can say, like, wow, that guy beat the system? Well, I'm just talking about aging and, and like, growing old and stuff like that. Oh, well, they say it's just a matter of your mindset, though. It really is. It really comes down to what I would have to fuck else. Are they going to say, well, my mind So it's not gonna change my vision make me start fucking like a silver back Well you I I found this article I want to bring it up with you guys unless you guys something bright I don't I do

Because it was this is the ten non-sexual advice Things I wish I knew sooner. Oh this is cool right now. Some of these things I want to get your opinion on because I think it's pretty accurate though. Pretty good advice. I think so. I think a lot of these things I can point to myself as having you know fallen into the whole of allowing myself to think a certain way, but like, I, number one, just because everyone else thinks something is true doesn't make it true. The majority isn't always correct, the unconventional, the creative, and the crazy ideas sometimes shine through, but it is scary having no support and only critics. People worry about fitting in and agreeing with everyone else not realizing that the majority

Can't be wrong Those are sub to what is this what is this list? This is the 10 pieces of non-sexual advice. I wish I knew sooner. Okay, so they're like don't be such an automaton Yeah, basically that's what it's saying, right? You would have thought Nazi Germany would have teach everybody this lesson already But here we are All across the world Come on, you can't expect people to

Remember six million deaths And and have it, you know have it you have it. You're right. You're right. In fact, how people lived their lives in 2022? You're right. This one is so fucking spun on for me. Everyone is the protagonist of his or her own story. People are busy focusing on themselves, worrying about what others think about them, and everyone else is a side character. Good news, because that means people aren't thinking about you as often as you worry. They are just as insecure as you are.

That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a slap in the face. That's a bucket of cold water. Right, right. Dumped right on your head. I think it's a bucket of warm water because I get's comforting. Yeah. You're like, oh, I'm not that important. Yeah. That's

what really that a fucking boils down to. You're not as important as you fucking think. You are so chill acts. See, that would be a cold water that, because I like I spent my whole life thinking of the word not realizing shit. We're all ants, bro. Those are all back to the beginning. That's true. This one, number three, super hard to do, but I feel it's accurate as well. Confidence is the key to just about anything, and it can be learned. Attracting love interests, business connections, self-esteem, and so much more, it will get you what you want in life

and gives you an advantage over everyone else just having confidence. It is so hard though. It's hard, but I can actually speak to this because 10 years of doing that TV show and just fucking with people and finding out where the lines really are as opposed to where you think they are, has changed me a bunch. And big part of that is what that just said, which is just like, if you just fucking act like you're supposed to be somewhere or show up and speak with authority, most people will fucking just go along with it. It's crazy. I do it all the time. I go to Disney now. I just walk to the

fucking the the exit of the ride and I go, oh, this guy fucking told me to come here to go in this way. I had to skip the line and they're like, yeah, go right ahead. Yeah, it's like that like all the time. It's like it's crazy. Like if you just if you just present yourself in a certain way, people buy it. Now, but there's the there's a case in point that I can point to that it doesn't always work though. Okay. I still do. Yeah, you know, saying the there's a case in point that I can point to that it doesn't always work though Okay, so I get him yeah You know saying that he's a super IQ, you know genius level. I still get emails daily about like he's a fucking

He doesn't know shit You know he can he has a good memory, but it's not really intelligence. I can't stand them. I'm not listening no more. I'm not listening. That's what they say. They're not going to, they threaten not to listen if it comes on too much because they can't stand his blowhardish. Wow. You know what, tooting of his own horn that he's a fucking super genius. Well, he has, they have a point mileage versus intelligence. Like we've never really seen him show. But he shouldn't have to by going by this. If he just fucking goes in there, cocksure.

We's gonna lose us listeners. No, no, but I'm saying, but like, he should have convinced the listeners by now. All of them. Right. With the way he presents himself as like he's so comfortable. Well, you can't run a scam over, over eight years and not back it up once and expect to fly. But I would argue

that, get him wants them to be writing letters about him and get him, I would argue that that guy write sending in that letter is is playing exactly at the gittems hand. So he fell into gittems trip. Yeah, he did. And to be fair though, I feel that Gettoms has, like he's in this weird little bubble where he is now beloved again. Okay. He's on the up tick. It's the pendulum is swung the other way.

Yeah, people like adore him now. Oh, well, that's nice. Yeah, they're like more Gettoms, more Gettoms. And this was just having to be one guy. Piece of smart. Yeah. Yeah, there is a call for more Gettoms, like Morgan and Morgan and this was just having to be one guy. Piece of smart. Yeah, there is a there is a call for Morgan.

Steve Dave on Tom Steve Dave and Ming too. I love that. Ming. Yeah, but people who are like, we want more Ming and I'm like, Ming's never around. It means they're around. He's in a different state every, every him and fucking Joey for tone. Like I went out to dinner with for Tony the other night and like he him and me like

Fucking he loves me. Yeah, they run into each other at cons they go out party and stuff like that They hang out. It sounds like Ming's living a hell of a fun life to be honest. Yeah, you want to talk about beating systems That guy trained to be a computer coder. He's like fucking running around cons party in that hanging out with Hollywood elite Yeah, dude like that I got everything figured out You want to keep going? Yeah, let's go to five then I'll read it in it. Okay Don't look to relationships to make you happy because you should be happy with yourself first Relationships and sex aren't the be all and all of human existence, putting all your expectations into your significant other is a huge burden on both him and her

as well as the relationship. The expectations will be impossible to meet and you'll be more inclined to act needy. Be happy with yourself first so you can be the best version of you possible for your special others. That's Paulana fucking. Oh my.

Okay, for our first dissension on the top 10 list. The whole like, the number of people who aren't happy with themselves but are in relationships anyway. I mean, I can count at least one. You know, it's just not possible. Sometimes you have, sometimes that, that's what you look to your partner for

is to shoulder some of that burden, right? Yeah, yeah, but I mean, it's, is it a recipe, though, for continually being in a loop, though, then unless you start to look and be happy with yourself first? Yeah, I've heard this advice forever. I haven't taken it yet though. I haven't taken it. I can't. I wish I could. I don't like being disappointed in myself all the time.

It's no fun. Well, I think what they're saying is, you know, get happy with yourself. Yeah, how do you do that? That's it. Should be focusing on. Where's my drugs? No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Yeah. It's like a good course of therapy. Something. Get in.

Yeah, I can do some good. Well, you got to write down what you're not happy about with yourself. Like, what are the top three things you're not? If you were to write down that list, number one, two and three. What is it? Mindset, your mind, weight and Physical like I know I can get it fixed, but my hands shake so much now. It's fucking crazy You can get it fixed. Yeah, well if I stop taking the medication. I'm taking my hands would stop shaking But I got to take the medication I'm taking so I don't fucking flip out. But there's there's different like

What are they called I don't know somebody out there smarter than me probably knows what's up dimmers. I think dim it Yeah, basically I have some that That are supposed to help but they they just don't help so like my right hand is not as bad But my left hand is like fucking nuts. I was hanging out with Joe de Rosa and he was like later on. He was like, he thought I had Parkinson's. Oh yeah.

Yeah, I was like no, no, thank God. I mean, not as far as I know. But he's like, yeah, I didn't want to say anything. He's like, I don't want to be a, you know, a fenger or anything, but like your hand was shaken, like crazy. Now, is it something? Look him around Joe de Rosa. Yeah, I'm nervous. Yeah, of course, is it something- Look at my round toe to Rosa. Yeah, nervous.

Yeah, of course. Is it something that like if you're thinking about, like is it something like stuttering, like if you're thinking about something else or doing a different activity, it stops. Like is that one of those weird things at the mind? Like if someone sings, they don't stutter. I think I find like, I hold it a certain way

like if I hold it down like this It's not gonna But like I'm not thinking about it like in better something. I don't think it really shakes Yeah, I don't think it shakes as much, but if I like I'm like all right I gotta carry this glass up the stairs without spilling fucking water all over the place So if you do it without thinking about it, it's less shaky. Yeah, but it's impos it's impossible. I'm not over matter Yeah Like I had a bowl of cereal the other impossible. I'm not mind over matter. Yeah Like I had a bowl of cereal the other day. I was like the shit's gonna go everywhere Upshaking but you're good at losing weight when you want to though. Yeah, I just have to

fully commit. Yeah Come in daddy you could do I've seen you do it a hundred times. I know, but is that a fucking pathetic? You should see me do it a hundred times. I tend to lose weight, get in a great shape, and then slowly start like building it back on. Yeah. I don't know why. Well, I think maybe COVID this time,

I just sat around with apps to everybody. Yeah, everybody fucking nothing. But it's even like, even at that, it's too much weight, too of a gain. Yeah. I can't even excuse, well COVID, right? People being in five or 10 pounds with COVID, not fucking X amount.

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Don't use it as an excuse to be a half ass version of yourself. Higher. Be yourself. Or lower. Is vague and outdated. Okay. You know, kind of using like, you know, if you were to use, you know, like, you know, I'm not very friendly or I'm not too fat.

I was rude. Or that's just me being me. You know, that's just how I am. Like that is not a good. If you're an asshole, maybe don't be you. Yeah. That's what I think number six here. I thought it was kind of the thing about the quest for self-improvement

across the board not just personnel you know you'd always be smarter more knowledgeable could always learn scuba and i was expand your your horizons a little bit which i think ultimately is key to life now oh yeah it's perfect example you count it out scuba i'm not a scuba never gonna fucking do it

look how happy you are now look how jazz you are example you counted out scuba I'm never gonna scuba never gonna fucking do it look I'm so excited that's a swimmer some sharks in my balls bit off by a shark oh be fucked if you had to run around the fake hand or something I could you imagine like I go to I go to the Bahamas to shoot this thing and I die like I get by a shark I mean that would an end because you know I would hate it. Like I'm telling you right now I fucking hate it. I'd be like I end up a shark shit. Yeah. A fucking shark ate me, digested me, and shit me ass. I'm not a piece with this. Not happy about this. They might have a funeral with your remains. I'm still dressed in the scuba gear. Who's coffin? Nobody around the cry over it.

I don't want this. Is this it for me? Once you get in the cage, let Mergo in. Yeah, no. I need him. I need him more than ever. All right, here's another one. Don't make assumptions about people

because you're wrong 85% of the time. 85% that's a pretty high. I think so. I mean some people just fucking assholes and you could just tell but other than that, yeah, I agree with that. I'm sure you've heard something along the lines of they could be going through something right now. But that's not what I'm talking about.

Someone you think is a loser made turn out to be an interesting person that you love to be best friends with. Someone you disagree with on a subject may actually have a lot more in common with you than you think. A lot of times in the past, I've judged someone only to speak with them for five minutes and realize I was 100% wrong. I don't know. I think there's always the curve wall in here, but you don't think the gut is right most of the time. Not when it comes to things like that, I found that first impressions aren't always the best.

I find. I think that I've had people that I haven't liked but when I talked to them one on one I'm like maybe I maybe I'm gonna look at them. How much freaking fucking stand that guy? You and Brian. He stole your website too. I never let it I never let it taint anything because I was because I didn't care about the website but yeah you guys were very angry Yeah, I remind him every every every day that is like those guys wanted you jettison They want to nothing to do it yeah good morning. Get him you hear my mic at graces Yeah, you don't know

What you don't know people like you don't don't know what someone's going through at any point. But also like they're saying, hey, you might start talking to somebody and it turns out that you really liked them. It's like, it took a good long time with Gettin. Yeah, with Gettin' with Gettin' with Gettin'. Yeah, for sure. It wasn't overnight. This one is, this one's truth, I think. And it isn't said often enough.

Family matters, but they can be wrong too. It's scary how much we rely on family to shape us at a young age. Right, I think that one's pretty. Yeah, I'd say that's pretty accurate. Yeah, it's, you know, just because their family doesn't mean that they can't be wrong and they can't be...

Don't know shit Sherlock. And they can't be bad for your state of mind. Yeah. Just because their family doesn't automatically mean that they know what's best for you or they have your best interest at heart at all times or that they aren't flawed and... Oh my god, yeah, but I mean, who wrote this list? Someone who's 20? You don't have to get this shit out.

Which Jesus Christ. I think back to, like, I mean, my dad was 16 years younger than I am now when he had me. And if I had a kid now, I don't know what the fuck I do. You know, how am I raising this kid? What do you know? I don't know. You were the last. No know, how am I raising this kid? What do you know? I don't know. You were the last.

No, I was the middle. There's another laugh to me. But my thing is, yeah, they could be flawed, but that doesn't mean that they're not great people. That's another thing. I think that I went through a stage of my life where, like, when I started to be aware of the flaws of my family, I think I, you know, maybe this is normal but you go through a stage where you're almost angry at that, realizing they're not perfect.

Oh, this isn't, yeah. And then you get past that to a place where you're like, well, no shit, they're not fucking perfect. Like, of course they're not, they're people, you know what I mean? Like my mom and my dad are people. You know, and then you get to a place where you're like, oh man, they are the most important people in my life. I do fucking love them. You just accept people, warts and all. Right, right.

Then you start to learn just how imperfect they are. But at that point, you already know that you take a while to get there. I think it takes a while to get there. Sure. This got to be a shift from like the way you view your parents as a child to as a young adult to as an adult. There has to be like how odd would it be if I still looked at my parents like I did when I was seven. But I know guys. I know guys and I I really it hurts to hear anyway. I'm happy for them, but it does hurt when they're like my dad's my best friend. I'm just like, fuck you.

How did that happen? How did that happen? How did it not happen, no, for so many of us? How is that possible that you could say that and with no irony or no, like you're legitimately say that and it's true. I sell, sells that way. Yeah, I envy that.

say that and it's true. I sell sales that way. Yeah, envy that. You know, it's, it's, it's, not often you see it, but when you do, it's like, it makes you step back and go like, damn, yeah, I wish I had that. It has its own problems. Doesn't it? It does. It has its own problems. To having your parent, you know, your parent be super involved in your life and for you to be To having your parent, you know, your parent be super involved in your life and for you to be like super involved in their life Like their problems arise from that, you know, it's like any any friendship like the more exposure you have like my parents like right now I'll see them like 10 10 11 times a year, you know what I mean like either once a month Let's say I see my parents or something I can dip in and out of that without really getting annoyed at anything But if I saw my parents on a fucking day-to-day basis, week to week one of the month, they're

going to do shit that annoys me. And then that brings a whole new dynamic into it. I think that maybe Sal can stomach in a way that I can't, you know. I get too uncomfortable at that level of closeness. Yeah, but I don't think I could have had better parents and I, I flaws and all like not only do I accept, it's interesting because not only do I accept my parents flaws now, but I celebrate them. Like, oh yeah, I'd like to hear an example of that. Like my dad. Well, that you, that you had a hard time accepting but now celebrate. He's my father's like not very demonstrative like he's a very

Closed-off sort of guy, you know, and there are times in your life where you're like hey man Like I could use a little fucking warmth like sprigled in but like Then after a while you like what the fuck did I need the warmth for it like who gives a shit? And then I'm like oh my dad there is he's fucking like just sort of grumpy in the corner I love him. You know what I mean? It's like it's like oh here we go. It's dad's opinion on this and it's gonna be some you know Grumpy opinion on something perhaps or whatever. I don't know that that not even my father's not even grumpy I'm just trying to make up examples without using real ones I don't want to talk about my dad in that way

But um, yeah, it just you grow to celebrate these things in anybody, not even parents. Don't you do with your friends and shit like that or your kids? Yeah. Like the flaws make them special to you or their deficiencies and certain areas make you love them a little bit more. Yeah, but there are people though that net, like who hide it so well flaws though that like hide it from even from their children though. And you know, is that, who hide it so well-floored, though, that hide it from their children, though. And, you know, is that, do you think that's the way to go? Like, you know, from them, from they never see a side that shows them

like anything but the perfect side. I think that's good for a time, but I think you got a... It's unrealistic. I mean, isn't it, you had kids, I don't know, like once they hit the teenage years on you're an asshole no matter what. Like in a while.

Oh, I'm not saying that, yeah, I'm not saying that I was one of those people that was able to, you know, never show aside other than. It's me, what is that? I mean, you've shitting your pants on roller coasters and stuff like that. But I know that I've spoken to people who are like, you know, I've never seen my father ever in a position that he wasn't like, you know, being, you know, the perfect person or, you know, always had the right thing to say never ever saw him, you know, fall or, you know, if it means nothing like fall from this this pedestal I put them on or something. Yeah.

And I find that to be also like fascinating, you know, like how do you, how do you care yourself like that, or you never ever showed us anything but the best side of yourself to your kids? I don't know. It's crazy. Maybe not to be around your kids that much. And when you do behave like that, like you're perfect all the time and then when you lose it, that's when it scares kids because they're like holy shit.

What's going on? What's going on? Yeah, I don't know, frame of reference for this. I know a lot of my stuff too is, you might not understand this too, is like so much of my, like earlier life was just consumed with self-loathing. So I think a lot of the problems that I had with relationships, my parents, friends, anything was like this feeling of myself projecting onto other people and it makes them seem worse than they are because I don't like myself and if you're coming from a place of that, it's easy to

project these things on other people and you're like, well of course, I mean I never had any problem with my brothers, my brothers have always had a great relationship, but like just to say like I could be like, well of course my brother's an asshole because I'm an asshole and we're just a bunch of assholes around here. I'm not that exactly but I think that like I had to grow out of that too before I could start. Did you ever blame, not out loud, but ever think about like blaming your parents for how you felt about yourself?

Yeah. Oh, sure. Yeah. Overestored dinner. Loudly. Yeah. Yeah. But again, I think it all comes back to maturity. In maturity. Well, for me, it was the 10 years of therapy. It was like, oh, okay, I again, I think it all comes back to... To maturity. In maturity? Well, for me, it was 10 years of therapy. It was like, oh, okay, I see how I looked at this the completely wrong way. And all this is really about me. It's not about whatever I'm angry about.

A lot of it was that. And your reaction to shit that like, like I find with Pam, I long ago ago I stopped getting mad at her for certain things because I'm like that's just who she is. It's not gonna change. That's gonna be the way she reacts every single time in this situation. So why the fuck am I expecting her to react differently? Yeah. It's like that's on me. Why are you bothering to get upset at it? Yeah. What's the point? What's the point? It's not always easy. No. But yeah, you learn that.

Doesn't mean I haven't hauled the wig home. You believe in shit? No. Yeah, but the older I get it, is it happening to you, Brian? Because I know you had problems with, you know, with your family. Like the older I get, the more family, it means a little bit. It gets, it means more and more the older I get. Are you finding that or is that not? Yeah, I would say so. Yeah. Because I look at my parents and I'm like, like, Pam's like hunched means a little, it gets, it means more and more the older I get. Are you finding that or is that not?

Yeah, I would say so because I look at my parents and I'm like, like, Pam's like hunched over a little bit more now than she was. And Edgar is not like the formidable, like guy that I remember. Yeah. Who was, who would fucking smash you if you like, you stepped out of line, you know? Now I'm the one who does this. He better understand that and everything will be fine. But yeah, you just you look at him and you're just like have you done everything

you wanted to do in life and if not what are you waiting for like there's this thing where like Edgar wants to move down to Florida to retire. You know, they've been retired for years now. I was like I'm not moving. I'm not leaving my grandchildren behind. Blah blah blah. Grandchildren who hardly ever come to see her except for sage. It's like you could see them every three months. It's a two hour flight man. Yeah, it's nothing. Sage loves Florida. Our grandkids are other than sage or old adults though, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she only has a two and I don't see them getting anymore Not for me not from Eric

You don't think Eric will Now Eric has the step-sod that he likes. Yeah, of course, but I mean, you know, he never want maybe for another kid, you know is You know, I ever want maybe for another kid, you know, is... Is he still young enough? Is he? Oh hell yeah. I mean, that's like 45 years old. You get still ever, kid?

Sure. I mean, I know what they can. I mean, I know what they can. I mean, I know what they can. I'm not saying that. You know, I'm not gonna cast those as perms. Is he still listening? I think so, yeah.

Eric Johnson, unhealthy sperm. I don't even want record. I think he had very listening. I think so, yeah. Eric Johnson, unhealthy sperm. I like going record. I think he had very strong, veeral sperm. Right, okay. He doesn't need any of those bluetooth pills. He's ready to run. Oh, the luchoo doesn't affect your sperm count. Yeah, I guess not.

You're right. You know, I make false claims on behalf of the luchoo. I'm just saying that he can't get it in the false cell. As well as having weak sperm. And only brother cat, right? I'm even my other sister, Darren. I'm the star of this family. I'm the base solely upon your ability to have it right.

What else matters, Walt? You're boiling it all down. What else matters? You boil it all down. What else matters? Eric Kent throw down his PhD or his... No, no. I don't think... Check out this rod. Slap it in your hand.

You're a Billy Cluber. They teach about this in school Hard knocks I want to put a school hard I don't know any money on student loans either. Mr. Smart Guy. I should probably your brains were all up in your head. It's been down here. It's been down here in the groin.

Oh, I'm sorry. It's where I do all my things. Tell him, Mary, about it. Quick coward, Italian. You got one more. Is it also a good one? How many people are doing this in front of? That's the question. Is it just me and him or is it?

Any number is funny. We just want to one's funny. 10 people's funny. 5 number is funny. We just want to one funny and people's funny five people's funny I will let's see it then let's see you let's see you, Mr. Big Talk. Oh, yeah I'm not gonna ruin Easter let's see your diploma I wouldn't. I'm not gonna ruin Easter. Let's see your diploma. Try to turn down my couch shant. I think I overplayed my hand.

You wish. I think we got a game here. My own brother. He wants to see it so bad. Disgusting. How bad do you want to see it? Ma, don't leave it there. Get your coat. Put your pervert here.

Just the perverts. Get your coat I don't have to see the time my own brother want to see other hard Disgusting I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. That's for the catch, wasn't it? Yeah! I'm kidding. It's like a fog. I can automate it.

Like, one of those shotguns shoots a pellet everywhere. Just try anything. Anything. Anything target the gun. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that.

I can't do that. Quick turn it on, Derek. Derek drinks too much. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that.

I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that any wiser, nor does it mean you have everything together. Most of us are still trying to figure out things.

We're playing it by ear a lot of times. Respect your elders is a common phrase and you should treat everyone with respect, but that doesn't mean ignorance disappears with age and is replaced by wisdom. Ooh! Woof! That is taking no prisoners right there. Yeah. It's like you're surrounded by a bunch of dummies.

Yeah. Do you subscribe to that cue, though? Because I always thought that somebody who is older, probably has a little bit more. Yeah, I think so. I would say so. Just even if you've fucked up and made a bunch of mistakes, you even know where the fuck up is going.

Yeah. We got to think you're talking about like, like this being written by a 20 year old versus people are age who like already know it. Yeah, like I mean, like yes, I've come to learn that with age comes experience, but not necessarily advice that you would want to take from them. There are plenty of fuck-ups who are at home.

Oh, my God. And who are older than us. Most of them. Right, yeah. But I think also I like that too, is that you treat everybody with respect, but they've got I like that too is that like you you treat everybody with respect But they've got to earn it though too though, like if they're not if just because they're old doesn't mean they deserve it You know if they're not being if they're not worthy of it

Correct agreed. Yeah, but a fucking old idiot's out there, man. Yeah, they're not worthy of I plan on being one someday Yeah, they're not worthy of... I plan on being one someday. Yeah, I don't want to do any damage. So, do you think this is some of the best non-sexual advice you ever got? You know, it wasn't bad. There were some good ones in there that people would do well to heed. Some of the listeners maybe have heard something they haven't heard before. Yeah, I think so. And that's what we try to do. You know, try to, uh...

What? Try to, like like spread a little bit while with some yucks maybe some thoughts to ponder during the week in between episodes. Yeah Some some weighty issues. I hope people are writing them down as we So can we be there like a deli list that they go over and like yeah check check check. Did I respect my elders? Well my fucking elders and idiots. Yeah, fuck that. You can't respect everyone. Like whenever I see these like these forensic file shows or like these live crime shows, they're always saying something like, nobody deserves to die like that.

It's like the person who did it to them deserves to die like that. Yeah. You know, don't say nobody. There are child molesters out there. Yeah. Murderers out there. There are total pieces of shit out there. And yeah, some of them deserve to die in horrible ways.

Well, if you told me like, look, we could press a button and it will rid the world of child mustaches, but they're all going to die in a painful manner. I'd be like, oh, well, we can do. I'm going to hit the button. Hey, what are you gonna do? I'm gonna hit the button Hey, what do you want me to do about that? Like I can't help you with that either They made their choice or it's a sickness that they can't work around whatever it is Or if you get they you know the yeah and that button's there now what you're not gonna press it No, I got a pretzel. You got a press of one. Yeah

Well, that was it. I Don't want to do it. I would feel, even if I press a button and fucking, even if it was a thousand job losses, I still would be like, I wish I went through life without killing people. Really? Yeah, I don't think I'd be jazzed to kill anybody, you know.

Yeah, with those telemolesters, they're killing. No, no, no, you gotta do it. You gotta do it. I gotta do it, 100%. Yeah. I just don't think I'd be the guy that would be like yeah, that's right. I fucking did it and I do it again You were so yeah you were so I think I'd still be like oh man I mean I did despite that I fucking had to do it and Those kids are saved and everything's great like I mean that's a lot and the human life. What was those drinks that you're having this weekend? martinis I mean that's a lot to end the human life. What was those drinks that you're having this weekend? Martinis.

Every fucking bar you walked into though, you'd be get some free martinis though. That's the guy who fucking pushed that button. You can't even handle two. Yeah, I can't. I mean, no, I, I, I, that's not the reason why I would do it so that people would be on the back. I didn't say, I'm just saying, you're coming with some

fringe benefits. Yeah. You would be like, people would be like, hey, there goes the guy that pushed the button. I didn't say that. I'm just saying you're coming with some fringe benefits. Yeah. You would be like, people would be like, hey, there goes the guy that pushed the button. I think I would be like, not even like, it's not even like, and then also, also, that guy's an IJ.

Oh, yeah? Yeah, you'd be guy, no, first is the I pressed the button. He murdered a thousand metaphiles. Oh, fuck it up. Or no fuck kids. He'll get it, that guy, I'll get I'm fucked. I ads. No more ads. So we're done for the week. We had just real quick. We had a visitor. I hope he made it back to Argentina. Oh, wow. He had a visitor to the store. He came all the way from Argentina and me and get him took him on

took him around and dropped off all the Patreon mail. Get out of here. Took him around and showed him showed him America a slice of America and dropped off all the patreon mail get out of here took him around and showed him show him America a slice of America he probably wouldn't have never seen. Oh, I have poor poison. The airport. The airport was on the mail. We took in the four different post offices. Okay. You know, we had delivered mail for us. Nice. He probably loved it. Yeah, he loved it. And we took him to McDonald's. Oh nice. He got that big Mac. He wanted a Dr. Pepper. Okay.

I'm gonna try. All right. You know what he said though that like really stuck with me. He goes America smells like air conditioning and new carpet. It's two good smells. All right. Yeah, I like that. I thought that damn man That's this guy's an author. Yeah, I like this guy. Argentina. What's's his name I think his name is Eric hey all right nice work Eric as soon as they got delivering on the postage on a postal shit what called ice tell him Steve Dave you