Tell Em Steve-Dave - #598: The Fun Gauntlet

Episode Date: May 19, 2024

A ghost of TESD joins to talk hangovers, clairvoyance, Q upstaging Laundando, & sexy school predators.

Oh New D. Uh oh, your sister peed on the rug. Tell em Steve Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell em Steve Dave to my right, Walt Flanagan. Hello. To my left, BQ. Hello. How's it going boys?

How's it going? Great. Yeah? You hungover? Yeah. What happened? What happened? I'm still in the same clothes I wore yesterday morning.

Did you sleep? What happened? You're still in the same clothes I put on yesterday morning. Did you sleep? I got about four hours. Yeah, we went to bed. It was Joe Rose who bought a house in Pennsylvania. We went to have a housewarming party. I sat there and Steve Byrne did a show. You are in the same clothes.

Yeah, it was him. So we went down yesterday and I got there at noon, walked into his house, he put a beer in my hand and that went until Wawaw was delivered at 3.40am. Wawaw delivers beer? No, no, sandwiches. It was a wild journey. There was a comedy club, Soul Joles, there's us on stage. Three hammered individuals. But I thought we did good. I think we did alright. I didn't say anything overly stupid.

What was the show just like you guys hanging out and shooting the shit? Steve Burns show. We just came up on stage. It was supposed to be the last 15 minutes but I think we were up there for almost an hour oh yeah nobody's seen the mind everybody's having legitimately yeah as far as I go that went to a nudie club well nudie a nudie club yeah some dancing ladies I ended up as always happens to me getting cornered by the owner talking to the owner. He turned out to be a great guy so it was no issue. Thurows might have met the next love of his life, it appeared.

Now when you go to the nudity club, do all the dancers – do they recognize deep, fat pockets queue walking through the door? Well, the problem is like I won't get a lap dance or anything like that. But like they all have to take the opportunity to learn that So then don't come and start talking and then like you know after a while you're supposed to be like you want to get A dance and I'm like I don't do it cuz I'm not gonna. You know I don't know if it's cameras or whatever I don't want any part of it So I end up talking to a nice parade of lovely young ladies, but and they all know like they all by the end

They all know I'll break them off something on the way out Thank you for the time, but yeah, I can't I can't get involved in that stuff But never thought I'd see the day. Is this shocking to you? Yeah a little shocking. Yeah Oh, I'm not saying let me be clear like there are there are Repubs I would circumstances where you would 100% this isn't anything besides like I know this fucking place is cameras And then you're just like I don't trust anybody, you know, who knows even even if they don't record it You got some jackass in the back when his phone up to the screen like record. Yeah Whatever so it's like this is not even worth it. You got to find the right regressive place

In the backwoods now, can I just start for my own? It apparently has electricity in the backwoods. Now can I just start from my own clarification? I'm not sure, like you're not opposed to being in the club and someone snapping a photo. No. Look who was here. BQ was here tonight. I have taken pictures with all the strippers. Happy to.

Okay, so you're okay with the world knowing you're in there, but what is the – you can't have someone on your lap though because what would happen? No, no, no. I don't think anybody would care. I just think that there's a world – but I think in a world where they record everything, then it's just easy for someone to just record it and put it online or something. It'd be getting a lap dance or shit. I don't want footage of me sitting there.

Jooling and shit. I'm a little fucking girl. I'm grinding on my fucking – I don't want to be seen for what I am. We've got to stop things for ourselves, you know. Not for society. But the world could know that you're there, but just not... Yeah, there's no shame in the day.

You get to a certain age. I don't know if it's... You want images of you and young strippers. I think it's just, let's all be Cuth, I guess. But it's for a ride. I don't miss it. It's not like something that I don't, you know. Anyway, so because I get embarrassed.

Like now I'm just like. It's so you start to feel silly because I know who you are. Yeah. It's not the same. I just don't see Q as, remember that little baby vulture in the Warner Brothers cartoon? No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no there's only certain, like even when you talk to them, there's only certain distance it can go, you know? So it's like now, it's like I have those same constraints on me. So once those constraints are there, it's like, I don't even want to like fuck it.

You know what I mean? Like I'll- But is it a matter of like, you know, it's like going to the China buffet and not being able to eat though then? No, because at the end of the day, it's still a bar where you can have a drink. Or eat six plates at least. Yeah, it's like you can't even have one morsel then. You just got to watch everybody eat.

Yeah, it's all right though. You're still hanging out with your friends and having a drink and stuff like that. It's fine. Do the other guys adhere to this? No, nobody adheres to it. So you just watch them then? Well, I don't go with them and sit sit down and like look at them as they get there. You know, there's a private –

A little private room. This place had a place called the Knight's Court where they have a throne. Not to be confused with the night fair. No, no, not – no, K&I. Oh. And you paid a little extra for this room that had a throne in it. And you could get a lap dance on the throne. That's pretty dope.

And they had like dragon tables that you could put your drinks on and stuff like that. Yeah, I mean it sounds pretty fucking nice. It's like you're the king of the castle. And then I was talking to one of the girls and she was like, yeah, the problem is that fucking throne is so narrow we can't really give good lap dances on it. But guys do it anyway. They want to feel like a king. They want to feel like royalty.

Well, it's like slice of pizza. Is there a bad one? No. Well, yeah. Yeah, actually I can't confirm. That happened in my life. But whatever. It's fine.

It's fine. And then in the wilds of Pennsylvania, there's some weird rule that you can only sell alcohol after a certain hour if you're a private club So there are these private clubs built into like houses Where it's like $15 a year to join it's all like a scam kind of but you can drink alcohol past 2 a.m Or whatever so it's like we're in some houses basement But just drink this is like yeah You're lucky you came with your kidney. It sounds like you could.

This does sound weird. I'm sorry, I should have wake up with an incision, stitched up and all your organs were fucking harvested. Yeah, no, no, no, everybody was quite friendly. It was a lovely evening. No, no, no static, no problems. Yeah, that's a no. There he is.

There's you flying away from the strip club. This is it. This is where I am in life. I'm that fucking vulture. But as a result, because DeRose is an animal, and the rest of the crew, Rodriguez, I'm a little bit banged up today. Then I slept in his house. Now, you just seems to be prevalent. Like you say, that's it, my days are over.

But every single time you go out, you come back in this shape. There are certain influences. Yeah, there are certain influences. I think there are certain influences. Certain people he hangs around with, yeah, he gets pressured into it. I don't know about pressured, like more like unlocked. Yeah, you got to do it. Yeah, you're like, ah, what are you going to do?

You only live once type stuff. Now it's like, well, it tastes like stomach acid. Disgusting. I smell it. I smell it. I smell it. I smell it. I smell it.

I smell it. I smell it. I smell it. I smell it. I smell it. Yeah, you're like, ah, what are you gonna do? You only live once type stuff Stomach acid Disgusting I smell I'm greasy. It's all coming out of your pores and shut it's so bad. I just want to shower Here I am committed you are you came right from the fucking strip club right here. Yeah straight straight from this glitter all over me Like yeah, let that sink in listeners about you know How committed your man is? Yeah, but they're like, yeah But we got to listen to a fucking whining complaint for just 10 minutes. How we can't get a lap dance on a throne Yeah, I don't know, fuck this guy It's not fair I tell ya

You you fucking dopes in your social medias Even me from having a baby Taking pictures Bounce up and down on me Damn cell phones and shit Muttering under his breath at the strip club girls getting scared off You bring the owner over, he's like, hey buddy, let me lower this at you. Can you confiscate all those cell phones from everybody at this establishment? Nobody should have their cell phones at this group club anyway. I thought that was the rule pretty much.

Apparently not anymore. Yeah. But I don't mind. I really don't mind. I'm fine with that. I hate to see you struggle like this though. Nah, it's just the hangover. You got those red eyes. You look like fucking Peter Cushing in Satanic Rites of Dracula. Is there something that gets inherently sadder as these guys age, these single guys that are going out to strip clubs in their mid to late 40s? No.

No? There's nothing sad about it. No, man. That's how you keep it young, man. What are you going to do? Do you want... He's a little sad. I don't want a little picture cue on a Friday night fucking at home.

Oh, I do. Watching. That's all he pictures. That's literally all I want to do. Just wasting away on the couch, you know, watching TV. I can't fucking abide by that version of Q, not in my head. But there's nobody there to take pictures of him. Yeah.

No, but I want to picture him as a fucking animal out there. Yeah. Tearing it up for the rest of us. In someone's basement fucking knocking shit over. Yeah. No, but I want to picture them as a fucking animal out there. Yeah, tearing it up for the rest of us. In someone's basement fucking knocking shit over. Yeah, I don't care. I'll fucking break everything in this house. You can't keep me here. Nobody's trying to keep you here.

Yeah, no, it's, you know. I think if it was a constant thing, it's you know, I think like if it was a Constant thing it would be sad. I think everybody's Like, you know, I think you do it like once I think everybody's entitled to go chop it up with their friends like Yeah, you know like the used to Absolutely. Why you get don't get defensive. Yeah I think if it was like my regular life, I would be like, dude. What was the last time you let loose like that and you had a hangover? Cruise?

Cruise, yeah. But there's an excuse. You got to, man. That's what everybody expects. I'm at sea. They've got to see Party Animal Q. That's what they paid you, man. That's what they paid those exorbitant prices to see you fucking in a drunken stupor almost

in a coma. Trevor Burrus That's something being pulled by security from private party that you can't get into to private party that you can't get into. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, I think for a night it was good for – they're doing it again tonight. They're all – You're out.

The whole cruise, I'm out. I can't. You're out. I can't. Well, I leave – well, that's it. This is it. What's today? Saturday? Monday, I'm gone for three weeks. I need a day. I need a day. Okay. Maybe you just fucking go right back to Pennsylvania. You fucking do it all over again and then run. You get to the airport, right from there. No sleep. Sleep on the plane.

No, I got to, I got a kiss belt in Boris' belly. Uh, yeah, you know, give him scratches. I got stuff to do tonight. It's Saturday, Walt. I'm going to order Domino's. Sit on the couch and watch Planet of the Apes. Oh, speaking of, did you go see? I did.

You know, I got stuck in, all right, fucking, I got stuck in five hours of traffic the other day and I was like, I'm just pulling over, I'm going to see a movie and then when I came out, the traffic was still fucking there. So I extended it to seven hours. Whoa. But I saw the movie. That's it. Oh, it was fucking good.

I, uh, I went back and rewatched from the first one, not the very first one, But I saw the movie. That's it. Oh, he's fucking good. I went back and rewatched from the first one, not the very first one, the 70s, but the James Franco one, which goddamn, if it isn't difficult to buy James Franco as a scientist these days. He's got some clunky line reading. Yeah, he really does. But as they progressed, I liked them more and more to the point where I even, I went by myself yesterday to go see the latest one because Sage and Mary Beth don't like apes. Okay.

Apes in general. It's just apes are monkeys. Is it talking ones or is it, or just even ones that can't talk? Even ones that can't talk. Wow. They don't like them. They don't like monkeys. They don't like apes.

They don't like any of it. Yeah. Because they're so close to us. Like I see. I know, like you look in their eyes and you're like, that's almost a human right there. They fucking, they could communicate on eyes and you're like, that's almost a human right there. They could communicate on a level that's scary. I've been watching a lot of baby chimpanzee videos and I want one. I want a baby elephant and a baby chimpanzee. That's all I want for Christmas. That's not best doable.

So you want a zoo basically. Do you guys want to guess real quick? I have a special guest coming in. Do you want a zoo basically. That's what you want. Do you guys want to guess real quick? I have a special guest coming in. Do you want to take a guess? Sure. What kind of person? Just a random guess or you're getting hints? What kind of hint?

What kind of questions can you ask? Repeating guess or no? Somebody who's been on the pod before. Okay. I'm going to guess Dave Wyndorf. Dave Wyndorf. That was my first thought. But I don't know if he'd surprise us with Wyndorf.

Or come all the way out here. It seems like I'm right. I would have had him perform as Q came in, like a big fucking loud, hundred decibel song. I have probably two pounds of wah-wah in my lower gut right now. Yeah, so that that would have went over great Shook the will shook my bowels He shakes bowels, okay Not Sunday Jeff. It's not it's not a common repeat guys. No, it hasn't been somebody that hasn't been on in quite some time

It's not Fitzman No, I wish it was Fitzman. We were talking a little Fitzman earlier Yeah, Fitzman's not into podcasting or he's not into TSD any longer. Yeah. I understand Yeah, with him back maybe in the after you get back post 600 Yeah, we got to fucking figure out a formula. The search for Fitzman. Yeah. We got to figure a way to get him back. As a regular listener.

He's back on all podcasts. You said the podcast medium in general, he doesn't do it. He doesn't listen to it. We're getting off target here. Okay. Well, it's kind of be Frank five. Did he take another 10 hour fucking trip down here for no reason?

No, it is not Frank five. No, we just bring him in. Uh, yeah. Speculate, speculate off. It's a him. It's a him. it's a him. Well, how many fucking females have I had? Yeah, really?

It's pretty few. Yeah. The apes is good, right? You liked it in the new one? I did like it. Yeah. Yeah. I thought it helped.

Cause my first one was like two hours and 25 minutes. Oh boy. But it held my interest the whole time. Yeah. And once I got over, I'm like, okay, I really have to pay attention to make sure I know which ape is which, because they always look so fucking similar and they're all Like it reminds me of like Transformers only like when the Transformers fight you're like, who's who who am I rooting for? So when the the apes were fighting I had to really keep close track of

Yeah, it was cool. I dug it. I was I was into it, you know, maybe didn't hit the third one so good, War at War. It's just amazing. So I don't know if it's going to hit the heights of that again, but it was a good start to a trilogy, I think. Looked amazing, too. It looked fucking great. Yeah, the CGI is at the point where you're like- It's very difficult to tell.

Yeah, you're like, fuck, I'm looking at a talking orangutan or whatever the hell that thing is. Yeah, and I'm buying it. I'm sitting here, the hell that thing. Yeah, and I'm buying it. I'm listening to him talk and I'm buying it Yeah, it was almost a point where I was I was watching it and I go to myself. I was like I Was like they're so good and they're so expressive that it's almost like I'm just watching humans now Mm-hmm, like like the monkey the monkey Novelty isn't really there anymore. It's like, oh, I'm just watching a character. Right.

Because they're doing all this human shit. They're riding around on horses, they're talking, they're super emotive and expressive. And then they throw that sweet look at you. I mean, that girl was fucking pretty, man. That girl, the human. The Nova? Nova, yeah. I was like, well, all right, I approve of this casting.

I approved of it and then I saw a very short interview with her and one of the guys that does The Voice, I'm not sure which one, and they were talking about how their team ape and humans are awful for the environment and probably, yeah, they're real like, I guess they must have studied up on conservation while they were doing their ape movie and now they're going to tell us all what we're doing wrong. Oh, I thought you would agree with the people that are like, the animals are better than the animals. Oh yeah, yeah, I'm team ape for sure.

Yeah, right. Yeah. Well. It's just they strap on those collars and start preaching. I'm like, even if I'm 100% team ape, it makes me less team ape. Yeah, fuck team ape. Well, my thing is just like, look,

she's pretty and for a while they weren't casting pretty people in movies. Right. So if I'm gonna get talked down to about the environment, like at least she's uh... Yeah, it's not like a Greta Thunberg. Holy shit. Who's this? They wanna turn around. Who's this? Holy fucking God. What's up, bud? How are you? I think that one.

This one? Yeah. Here he is. Yeah, I live right down the street and I've never been here. Yeah, this is uh, well, this is my little sister. This was my mom's dog and I inherited her when mom unfortunately left us two years ago, but I've known her since she was a baby. That's Carly. She's just gonna sniff around and she's a sweetheart When is the last time Frank three was on Mike TSD it's been a while the Olympic the Laff Olympics Which was which was like we didn't even have a follow better that which I love like me and Walt me and Walt like on

each other that whole time like the competitiveness comes out like the two nerds are just like I don't remember what loving it that day. Well, you know, I could, you know, like I said, I could see a lot, you know, it's the competitiveness. It was, it always comes out. Like you think you're like, Oh, we're just going to have fun. And then anyone who's ever played any sports in their life, like, you know, you're just like, no, we can win this.

That was a fun day though. It was a fun day. It was a fun day. It was a fun day. Yeah. So for anybody who's not versed in Frank Three, I guess, when did we first meet? We met at the- I was thinking about this on the way. And so I know the timing because I was here for the first Tell Them Steve, Dave ever.

Like I'm pretty much the timeline I'm putting is 2012 was your first episode, right? Because I was unemployed. I was just hanging around the stash and you guys – Trevor Burrus 2010, right? David Kopel 2010, sorry. Sorry. Different unemployment. That was an unemployment too. But I mean, I remember just – I had nothing to do. So I was collecting like severance pay. So I was basically getting paid to do nothing until it was over and I came down. Still disappointed that it wasn't called joint counter-joint. But yeah, I remember being there the first one.

Just not saying anything. There's been a couple of times I've been in the room with you or Kev where I don't say anything. I just have to do everything in my power not to laugh. Just listening to you guys. Oh, she's peeing. Oh, no. Uh-oh, your sister peed on the rug.

Uh-oh. Get him. I got to get off and clean it up. You know just listening to you guys. Oh, she's being oh no Sorry didn't take her before I went my bad. I just gave her a bath to Carly Yeah, I guess we'll just leave that there Get him handle it. Yeah, well you can pause it and I'll do it or like we can just keep going on. Sorry about that. Well, yeah, and you're, you're, I have the dog in here and pee and not be, is it a ton of piss? No, no little piddle. Yeah. I was running around all day. I actually just took her for a bath. It was a tractor supply. Oh, there's a tip to not a tip for tractor supply for dog animals.

They have pet wash stations and they're like $9.99 and they have everything included, like the shampoo, everything, like the dryer and everything. So $10 and you can just go wash your dog yourself. Anyway, moving on. He's all wired today this spring. Yeah. So what happened? Where did you disappear for so many years?

I don't know. Just doing my stuff. He's a big traveler. Yeah. Yeah. So what happened? Where did you disappear for so many years? I don't know. Just doing my stuff. He's a big traveler. Yeah. He's like an outback almost. And then the last couple of years was tough, man. Again, you're not going to beat a dead horse,

but it was like COVID into mom getting cancer, into a 14-month cancer battle. And then since then, it's just been, I don't know, it's been two years. It's just settling back into shit. I still keep tabs on all you guys around. How do you keep tabs on us? We haven't seen you in quite some time. The internets.

Hopefully not Reddit because that might not be accurate. Didn't we say this a long time ago? It was like, don't read Reddit. Reddit is like, I don't want to get the redditors on me, but whatever. It's too late. You disappeared. I know, probably. Well, it doesn't matter, right?

I'm just some dude that they know with an annoying voice. I believe that's my... I need to put that on a t-shirt. We don't see many Franks anymore. Just Frank five, pretty much. They're like for nothing. Yeah, that too. Maybe I'm a little jealous. The other Franks just took over and I was like, pretty much. Frank for nothing. Yeah, you know, that too. Maybe I'm a little jealous. Like, you know, the other Franks just took over and I was like, I don't have time for this man. And like, you know, I like

Frank Five. I met him. He's like, he's a really awesome dude. Like, we know a lot of the, you know, the same stupid pop culture references. It's like, I'd like to challenge him to like a meeting of the, you know, to that stuff that he like, he does 80s movies and stuff. Because, you know, forget it. You know, my garbage brain. He's really drinking a lot of water You sure she's gonna be okay. Okay, like I said, we've been running around all day She was I mean in terms of like she's not gonna know she will not mitigate upon the car She will not she's just like strange places. I'm sorry that usually does not happen, but that's my fault

I should have taken her before I came in Nobody's blaming the dog I told her I told her to do it. I was like I fuck these guys, man. Come in here and piss all over the rug. I know she's a sweetheart, right? Yeah, you can tell just by looking at her. The other thing too is like so she's got the pit mix in her. You'll see it maybe. She'll smile at you, which is really funny. People that aren't dog people are like, she's snarling at me. I'm like and her like tails, her ass is wagging her tail. Like does she look angry?

snorling at me. I'm like – and her like tails – her ass is wagging her tail. Does she look angry? Nice. I had a question for you, Q. If I find a funny – you're into cats. I got yelled at last night for looking at cat videos. Too many cat videos? In the diner. Yeah, that was told to – why are you looking at so many fucking cat videos, man? What's in the videos? Yeah, I meant – you could say – you looking at so many fucking cat videos, man? Listen to me. So yeah, I meant to – you could say – it's mainly what I use the internet for.

Because I will send you cat videos if I see some cute ones, I'll send them to you. I saw a cute elephant video and I hesitated because I'm like, what a different kind of guy. Walt just recently told us that he loves baby elephants and I saw a really cute baby elephant video but I'm like, he said it on the show. I'm sure his email blew up with baby elephant videos and all I'm going to be doing is annoying him so I held back. I didn't get any baby elephant videos.

You didn't get any? No, nobody sent me any. Really? So if I see some good ones, I can send them to you. Absolutely. Send them my way. Yeah. I was just like – I just – I don't know.

It felt like – different than when I send them to you. He's going to be like, what's this gay shit? Stop it. Because you know if you're annoying Walt, he just doesn't answer you. No, you'll like it. It's a ray of sunshine. What's that? Getting little animal balls.

Oh, yeah. I watch them all the time. What's not to love, right? Look at this guy. He's got a tire on his head. That's great, man. So I missed last week. I had a migraine and something happened post migraine. It's pretty fucking freaky.

What? So I've had maybe one or two migraines in my entire life and I had one last week and I had to go into my walk-in closet and lay down in the closet, close the door because there's absolutely no windows then. Total darkness. It's dark. I put a wet rag on my head and I fell asleep for 11 hours. Whoa.

Then the next day, I felt good, felt fine and I had to meet with – me and the missus went down to see my daughter and her boyfriend and have lunch. I had this – I was telling them about this. Usually I never talk about dreams. There's nothing more boring than hearing somebody else's dreams. But this is so fucking freaky that I told them that I had a dream that my daughter stopped by and wanted me to watch her kitten cause she got a kitten. And she also sprung it on me that she also purchased a baby

monkey. So I had to watch the baby monkey and the baby kitten for a couple hours and it was early in the morning. And she said, don't even get up because I was sleeping when she came in and told me, because I'll just throw them on the bed and I'll just sleep here. They'll just snuggle up to you and then bite baby monkey snuggled up to me like a teddy bear, just hugged me and fell asleep. It's a summer dream so far. Great dream so far. It turns into a nightmare in a second. Because I hear like this crying and like this

kitten whimpering and I wake and I open my eyes and the cat is like, his ear was bitten off by the monkey and there's blood all over the bed and everything. So I'm telling this at that Red Robin and both my daughter and her boyfriend are look at each other and their faces go pale. And like, what's going on?

What's the matter? I was like, it's just a dream, you know, what's, you know, and they're like, you know, like do you, do you screw with us? They said, and I was like, no, like yesterday, um, we were this close to go. There's somebody in our development where we live that is selling a monkey and we were going to go look at it. Oh my God. And now I think I'm clairvoyant since I had the migraine. Oh Wow was like the dead zone and you know, it's fucked up last night had a dream that Frank three Was here and now he texted me this morning you did yeah

That's why when I thought you… Trevor Burrus You did? Oh my god, that's really weird. Aaron Ross Powell When I texted you and I was like, thank you for all those question marks. Trevor Burrus Can I tell the story about why I thought of Walter? So like today, I stopped by the Dollar Tree for some reason, right? And I walked in and I was walking around the aisles, right?

And the dude that stocks the Dollar Tree was like stocking the shelves and he was listening to Kiss, Heaven's on Fire through his cell phone speaker in his back pocket. And there was like two people I texted, one is my friend Jeff and the other one was, I thought it was him, just like Kiss weirdos, right? And like that was it. That was, it made me think of Walter just out of nowhere. And I saw the last time I texted him was like, 2021 in the fall, I think. Wow. Is that weird?

I think it's weird. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think there's some possibility that this migraine now has opened up my third eye? Nice. I'm not ready to rule it out. Yeah, it's possible. I mean, didn't like Terrell Davis like play the Super Bowl? Like it was like half blind like right with the migraine and then he like won the MVP. Yes, that's right.

Yeah, like a monkey, like it's not a common. It's not a common dream. Yeah. So to have done it, something's in the air and if something's in the air, then that means that you have some sort of psychic antenna for it. Yeah. So I'm going to keep you guys. We're in an overkill now. We're into overkill areas. So if I have dreams about you dreams about you guys, please just don't disregard the text that I send you if I ever do.

No, you got to text me immediately upon waking up if something's going on. Okay, I will. I haven't had any dreams about you though lately. That's weird. So it blew them away that you were dreaming about monkeys and shit? Oh yeah, it really screwed with them and they were like – and my daughter was like – I kept saying – she was saying it almost like I I want to get them, like, I want to buy a baby monkey, I want to buy a baby, but they were kind of only want to go look at

it. They weren't seriously going to buy it. They wanted to be like, go in the guise of like, they're interested because like, I want to see what a- They just want to meet a baby monkey. Yeah. But they were just like, dumbstruck. Yeah. And they thought for sure that – somehow I had prior knowledge.

But I put it to – Trevor Burrus Now, did you offer up your theories that you're clairvoyant to them? Your daddy's Christopher Walken. They're like, who? What? No, he's Anthony Michael Hall. Oh, no way. You don't get that one either. Might be time to remake the Dead Zone. Oh, shit.

That's great. What is this, a kitten? That's the kitten my daughter picked up. Oh, so you got a kitten. My daughter did get a kitten. Yeah, it was at the office for a couple of days. Oh, how cool, man. She had to do something and I- Wow, what a pretty cat. And get him, was good enough and nice enough to watch it for 48 hours for us.

Oh, he's awesome already. He's a great cat. It's totally turned me around. I think I might be getting a cat soon. Yeah. Turned to a cat guy? I might be. Oh, gosh.

I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm He's a great cat. It's totally turned me around. I think I might be getting a cat soon. Yeah. Turned to a cat guy?

I might be. Oh, gosh. Another one we're going to lose. No, I'm still going to keep the dogs. Also, I don't know if I can notice. It's been a while since you've been around here, but I'm really trying to figure out a way that I can skate the laws in Jersey to get a baby elephant too. Well, I mean that lady – The tiger lady in Jackson, right?

Like there was that lady by the, but that had tigers for a while, like before Tiger King, like, I don't know. I don't want a dangerous animal though. Are I forget? Well, no, it's like those weird collector, full size elephants, but elephants bring problems too. Don't like people. There's no like activists now.

People will be like, don't have that in captivity. They're not allowed to do any more Well, what is the plan once the elephant reaches of an age that you know? Isn't there something I could do some sort of surgery I could find maybe overseas that could like they could snip a couple things And the like like pillow babies. Yeah, like seedless watermelon Maybe start with a cat. Why don't you start with a cat? I'm checking. Why don't you take it away? They come back up. The door will be open.

I'll read some spots. There's some paper towels out there too. I gotcha. Man, you're not making a good impression. She is. I was freaked out by the Baron outside. She did like a double take. She was like, what the hell is that? She's a perfect little angel. Please.

Yeah. Well, he's taking his dog for a walk. I'm going to read this real fast. Oh yeah. Ads. We got some ads for us. Yup. Using the internet without ExpressVPN is like leaving your keys in your car while you run

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all about the dark web So this is why you're gonna want to use Express VPN They have an encrypted tunnel that which creates a secure encrypted tunnel between your device and the internet So hackers can't steal your sensitive data nice Shut down the dark web like why can't they I know they could if they really wanted to I Don't know. I don't know enough about the internet to like, like is there an internet switch somewhere? Like a big switch?

I think it's decentralized the black web. If they could do it in Iran, they shut down their internet. Yeah, China did it too for a little while. I think when they were. I'm so worried about funding. Yeah, but I think the way you do that is by cutting off people's access to the internet,

not by shutting down the internet. That's what they're doing. They're making it so you can't go on the Internet. So like they would go in there and close down like Comcast or Variety or something. Yeah. So you can't. So if you shut down the dark web, you have to also shut down like … No, no, no. They're not shutting down anything. They're just shutting down your ability to access it.

Like Etsy site would also go down. Etsy would be out there. You just couldn't go on it. You're restricted, not the dark web. Oh, okay. go on it. You're you're restricted not the dark web. Oh Okay Alright, so not so it's harder than it's it's harder than it seems and the shutdown just that the whole entire dark web Well, there's a theory to that like the reason they let the dark web go is so they know where to keep tabs on people Yeah, they do bust people. They are able to infiltrate and get in there and get some people. So it's like the dark web gives them a place to snoop.

So it's not anonymous then? We've reached the end of my knowledge on that. I certainly don't want to talk about it. All right. That's the end of it. That's the end of the road. I go on to see five websites for the past 10 years. ExpressVPN is super secure.

It would take a hacker with a supercomputer over a billion years to get past ExpressVPN's encryption. How many years? Over a billion. With a supercomputer. That's fucking gaudy numbers. That is fucking impressive. Yeah, until you make a fucking supercomputer that's as powerful as a billion other supercomputers,

and then it takes you a minute. Right. Yeah. So let's hope that never happens. Well, it'll happen. No, I thought you'd... Don't listen to him. It won't happen once you're higher. It's crazy talk.

Easy to use, works on all devices, phones, laptops, tablets and more so you can stay secure and on the go. I like ExpressVPN. I've said before because I can watch episodes that may not be offered on my streaming service. What's this cat's name? Pumpkin. Pumpkin. This is a cool boy. It's a boy. Kid him? We don't know. Okay. Look, he's got a boy-like attitude to him. Oh yeah, he's very rambunctious. Yeah, very cool. Like, yeah, he loves to play. Yeah, man, dope.

What are we talking about? Sorry, go ahead. Right now? He keeps putting pictures of a kid on the TV and I told you I have a problem. Well, I know you're going to be interested in this, Q, because you just asked me about this factor. Factors, no prep, no mess meals. No, we're out of that.

We're rolling right into another one? Did you give all the details? Yeah, I gave, no prep, no mess meals. No, we're out of that. We're rolling right into another one. Did you give all the details? Yeah, I gave all the details on the other one while you guys weren't listening. I'm making sure they all get in there. Factor. I like, yeah, I know. I remember we were speaking about, uh, QQ he's eating right.

He's, he's trying to get healthy. That'll be starting in three weeks. I had a bunch of factor, man. I'll be starting in three weeks. But I had a bunch of factor, man. Even a fucking like a caveman dope like me was able to make these great things because you just preheat your oven to 375 to seven minutes, pop it in for a few minutes, and then you got a great meal. Is BQ a caveman in the kitchen?

He orders a lot. Yeah. You're not making recipes. There's not a lot of pan rattling in my neck in the woods. I order in a lot. I eat a lot. What I've been doing lately is when I'm leaving set, I'll have them order a meal for me. Have it ready for you. And I just grab it on the way to the car and eat that at home, that sort of thing.

That's what you can do when you're the boss. I know. I'm the boss. You can get a $12 sandwich. I feel like you got over on somebody. I can identify with you totally. Like when I usually bring in a cold McDonald's cookies and I have my boy Friday run over to the microwave and he put in those exact time to make those cookies so hot and gooey.

That's why we keep them around. What's the exact second rate? You don't know? I thought you had it down to a science. You don't want to tell me. Job security. It's a 148 over there. He ain't no fucking fool. He's no idiot. The fact that you're his boss and he has to tell you if you want to know, I guess. He's heating up cookies for a living. Except he's a genius.

He's holding on to it. living, except he's a genius. They've taken everything else away. Let's see, meet your wellness goals in time for summer. Thanks to the menu of chef crafted meals with options like calories, smart protein plus and keto factors, fresh, never frozen meals or dietitian approved and ready to eat in two minutes. So no matter how busy you are, you'll always have time to enjoy nutritious, great tasting meals. Make today, today the day you kickstart a new healthy routine.

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Now it's good stuff. It's like a cut above like the north. Well, it's not frozen. It's like, yeah, you got to put them in your fridge when you get there. Full meals. It's great. Kitchen time is at a minimum, uh, you got to put them in your fridge when you get there. It's full meals. It's great. Kitchen time is at a minimum, uh, support effort,

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What is that? It's just tortellini with some pesto sauce on it. It was great. Tortellini. I don't know what totally even or Lini's a like a cheese stuffed Almost like donut Don't know a healthy donut though. It's a mini tiny like donuts with cheese in it. Okay. Yeah But it's you know, but it's made of pasta nut donut. Mm-hmm. Oh, look at this fucking guy Where did they get this kitten Pennsylvania? They They just found him? They went to a shelter and they picked out a kitten and that's their kitten. This is a great cat. Yeah, he is.

Yeah, that's a great cat. Hey, sorry, get him, keeps following him up. I'm buying out. He was distracting everybody with these cute kittens. Playing with the bow. Look at that coat. So you're off to London? I am in Los Angeles for a week, then I'm in Kansas City for a charity thing for four days and then I get back for one day. I go to the Cricket World Series with Ian K. Morris.

You're going to that? I'm going to that in New York. Oh, it's in New York. It's in New York and then the day after that I go to London for eight days. It's weird that the Cricket World Series is in New York and then oh it's in New York it's in New York and then the day after that I go to London for eight days yeah it's weird that the cricket World Series is in New York I admit it's definitely cricket I might it might be the American cricket World Series you know how they call everything they are seeing it this word it's it's wild I have interesting yeah yeah I haven't seen Ian in a couple

years so this is gonna be great oh that's right yeah it's been a long time yeah you haven't mentioned his name you haven't Ian in a couple of years, so this is going to be great. Oh, that's right. Ian K. Morris. Ian K. Morris. It's been a long time. You haven't mentioned his name. You haven't dropped that name in ages. No. No. We do talk, but he hasn't been coming to New York, so I haven't had a reason to bring

him on or anything. But we're going to do that, and then I'm in London for a bunch of days. Touristy things or now just? I'm doing some touristy things. I'm going to see the Mets are playing the Phillies in London. So I'm going to that game. It's going to be fun. Why do they do stuff like that?

Just to increase the interest in the sport? Yeah. Making it more of a world game. Yeah. Yeah. It'll be good. I'm excited. But it's a long time away from home.

I'm basically like not home My sister's moving in for three weeks. Yeah The horse and the cats yeah, so so it's a long it's a bit much. How you gonna do laundry on the road? I'm gonna shit doesn't clearly What I'll do is I'll have I'll pack three different things of luggage and have them just set up so when I come home from one trip and I'm home for 42 hours, 24 hours, I'll just swap out the transfer. That's right.

So you're not taking an assistant? No. No. I never do that. Do you need a boy Friday? No. I'm all right. Heat up your cookies? I never bring her anywhere.

I know, it's just someone to do your laundry though. They have to take three suitcases. Well, that's at home. No, but if you bring your boy Friday with you, you can do your laundry. It's just cheaper to ship the luggage than to bring boy Friday. You know he's got all the quarters in his pocket that you need. I know, but you got to fly boy Friday and you got to put him up. Those quarters won't work in London.

That's true. You're right about that. And that he's fucking – he's totally toasted. He won't know what to do. If the quarters don't work there, then it's game over. What the fuck, Friday? Yeah, it'll be good. It has been a long time since I've been to London.

And you know me, this is also like providing I'm not like a day before I leave being like, ah, fuck it. Right. Yeah, I'm not going. Really? At the last second you could fuck a torpedo the whole trip? I've done it before. I want to, oh, I'm going to Vegas too.

It's LA, Vegas, Kansas City and London. Yeah. You're going to run yourself ragged, Q. This is going to be a rough three weeks. I'm calling it the fun gauntlet. I'm in the midst of it. I'm going to the Sphere to see the Grateful Dead play. Have you ever nicknamed your upcoming vacation? No. I usually call it two or three days. Well, California's work.

And then Vegas is the sphere. And then AEW, the wrestling thing. Have fun at the sphere, dude. It's awesome. Well, that's why I'm going. Yeah. I was there for fish all four nights. Oh, yeah.

I heard that robot was pretty fucked up. Yeah. So that, and then AEW is doing a wrestling thing in Vegas. I'm going to hit that. Who's playing at the sphere? Grateful Dead and Dead and Co. Dead forever, this version is? Oh, so it's a cover band? No, it's gonna hit that. Who's playing at the Sphere? Grateful Dead and Dead and Co. Dead Forever, this version is?

Oh, so it's a cover band? No, it's John Mayer and the surviving members of the Grateful Dead. Oh, okay. Well, minus the drummer, they fired him. The original drummer. Or he decided just, like you said, he didn't want to go anymore. I forgot. Yeah, you were into the Dead for like a minute, I remember.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, I've kept up with it quietly, though. Did you ever see him, Q? Quietly. I saw Dead and Co. You never saw the Grateful Dead? No. Yeah. I've kept up with it quietly though. Did you ever see him, Kip? Quietly. I saw Den and Co. I never saw him. You ever saw them cry for that? No. Yeah. I'm old.

Yeah. Yeah. I wish I had. He does a good job. I mean, they do a good job. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be fine. I'll be in the sphere, so it'll be good. That place is just, wow. It's just... Don't do any mess or anything. Well, nothing like that. While you're in the sphere, I've heard it could really fuck with you. The coolest thing about that, one of the coolest things is that the seats are haptic, right?

So like you can sit down and you feel the bass in your back and your ass. It's like literally like a subwoofer that you're sitting on. Yeah, there's speakers in the seat. Like monster magnet. Yeah, it's going to be great. Butt shaking. So yeah, it's a lot. Like Monster Magnet. Yeah, it's gonna be great. I'm shaking. Yeah, it's a lot, it's a lot. Who's your dream act to play in the Sphere?

If you could pick any act while you're there. Living or dead? Just living. Living. I don't know. I don't know. Why, who would you? G&R. Metallica.

Metallica would be fucking good. Metallica would be a good one. They'd do it right. I think me, I'd probably pick Ace Fraley. Yes? That's how much you liked him, huh? Yeah. That was impressive, I was. The sound in that piece.

How many does it seat this year? It's like 17,000. It's like the same size as like MSG. He could pull that off. He could do 17,000 one show. The dead tickets apparently are like, like a lot of people like Last Minute just, you know, couldn't, you know, just do it or whatever. They're like, oh, I'm going to do it.

They're like, oh, I'm going to do it. They're like, oh, I'm going to do it. They're like, oh, I'm going to do it. They're like, oh, I'm going to do it. They're like, oh, I'm going to do it. They're like, oh, I'm going to do it. They're like, oh, I'm going to do it. They're like, oh, I'm going to do dead tickets apparently are like – like a lot of people like last minute just couldn't just do it or whatever. There are like some $25 tickets. Oh, at the sphere.

Yeah, for people that didn't get them ahead of time. $25? Yeah. I mean they're putting so many nights that like – and again, it's like people got excited but you think about it. You got to go to Vegas. It's a lot of money. It's a lot of money.

Yeah. But the ticket price is very cheap. I think the dead ones were about $125. The fish ones were like $213 a night or something like that was the face value. It's expensive because it costs money to do all that production for that giant screen. And there's really not a lot of reuse for it. So you're putting all that work into that one screen. The business side of Herb, as you got to sell out like seven nights to break even.

Fish lost money, but they got Intel like on how everything works. So I think they'll be back to I'm sure. Yeah. What about you, Brian? Who would you like to see one act in the sphere? One act, huh? Because you're going to Vegas too, right? I'll be there.

When you go? When you go? End of the sphere. One act, huh? Cause you're going to Vegas too, right? I'll be there. Yeah. When you go. When you go. End of the month. I think the, uh, like the 28th through the first or something like that. Or the second. Yeah, something like that. They'll be, the dead is still there. You should go see them. Will they?

Yeah. I can't tell you how little interest I have in going to see the Grateful Dead. I never liked their music. I would just stay for the trucking song and I'm out cause that's the only song I know. I was, you know, obviously I was a dad back in the day. My vote was Tool. Tool, that would be Tool. Like just because I think he would do crazy stuff with like that screen.

But who are you picking? Are you picking Joe Satriani? No, I think I'm going to pick the original lineup of Mercilful Feet. King Diamond. Yeah, a little King Diamond. Heavy metalhead. I don't know if they could sell 17 seats, let alone 17. Probably not.

Yeah. A thousand. I got front row. That's all I care about. So, Walt, to nerd out the sound system, it's like laser beam sound. So they can just bounce the sound all over the room, like different things. At one point, I heard the bass behind me. I heard the guitar over here.

There's like 140,000 little speakers in the sphere. They can just direct the sound wherever they want crazy Can you speak I mean it's too bad that he's not allowed to speak on mic But I want to tell you like get him has been Honing he does a fucking killer ace for early impersonation. He's been cracking up the building not just Ron one and Ron two are just like, do your ace, do your ace. Gadget. Oh, it's fun.

I wish he was able to be on mic. Maybe post 600 we can hear Gatum's ace for early. Brian, you can attest to it. It's fucking spot on. I've heard it. It makes me laugh. Yeah. It really makes me laugh.

What episode number is this? 598. This is 598 Does he do both like speaking ace and singing ace? Cuz like they're kind of different voice like like the the New York accent really comes in hard when he's talking He does a lot of speaking. Yeah, you know, he hasn't honed his singing ace voice yet, but The speaking one is just it's dead on for anybody who... Nights. I hope everybody gets to hear it one day. Hopefully, well, I mean, it'd be criminal if we would never get to hear it.

If he loses and only people who get to hear it are people in the room. It's a lot to lose. I have here, I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but every month now is like this month or that month, you know? Sure. May, National Masturbation or that month, you know. Sure. May, National Masturbation Month. Oh, all right. So it depends on who's making this.

Who's making this? I don't know. Really? I don't know. I've read this in the Post. I can give you your – basically your sex horoscope. Yeah. It's based upon your birth sign. All right. So all right. I'll go Frank Three first. It's based upon your birth sign. All right. So, all right. I'll go Frank three first.

What's your birthday? May 4th, Star Wars Day is my birthday. I just turned 50 years old. Oh, nice. How did that feel? Was it like a traumatic thing or was it just like just another day? No. I felt I'm healthier than I was at 40.

I'm healthier than I was at 40, which is – I feel better at 50 than I was at 40. I'm healthier than I was at 40, which is, you know, I feel better at 50 than I do at 40, which is weird, but- A lot of people, you know, they get the, it's a big hurdle to get over the big five-o. Yeah. And it's funny, like, you know, like you have member berries or whatever, like reminiscing, like just hearing that song today, like I was like, yeah, I got to reach out to like, you know, my friends more, like, you know, like disappear for a while. Like disappear for a while. Stuff like that dawns on you. It's like, you know, most people – I'm running out of time.

But yeah, Taurus. So I'm Taurus the bull. So you're a Taurus. If anyone knows how to treat themselves, it's a Taurus. There's no other sign that will go to the ends of the earth for ultimate luxury and you deserve it. No frills, no gimmicks. You just, you and a partner learning to love your bodies as much as you love theirs. I thought this was a masturbatory reading. Sexual horoscopes. This is one on one.

Mutual masturbation. All right. This is mutual, yeah. Yeah, that's what it says. The beauty of mutual masturbation is that it doesn't have to be in person. For those dating or in a long distance relationship, why not try a steamy video call? I have done that actually. A steamy video call?

Long distance relationship, man, for like a year. That was a while ago. So it's spot on apparently according to Frank. Who wrote this, Wolf Lanigan? This is a lady. National masturbation month. What's March 40th, What's the Pisces? Is that you, Kip?

Yeah. Pisces, let me find out. Does this say strip club blue balls? All right. Well, I'm coming across Scorpio. That's Walt, right? We'll do Walt first. Which one is? Sometimes I am not a Scorpio, depending upon the-

Oh, you're one of those cusk people? Yeah, sometimes I don't know what the one is. Libra. Yeah, sometimes I'm a Libra, according to the newspapers of other papers, I'm a Scorpio. Let's see, Scorpio, it would be hard to read. Scorpios are mysterious, somewhat elusive. Maybe it's time to be more direct. Whether you ask a partner to masturbate in front of you or you just try a new

genre of porn, it's an exciting discovery. Hey, John, put that cookie down. A new genre you talking porn. Try a new genre. Yeah. So whatever you've been watching, it's time to shake it up. Some genres I know are not for me. There are a lot of genres that are not for me. You look at the Reddit list of all the

different porn categories. 99% of them are like, I don't know what this is. And then the other 1% are like, I don't know. And the domination of the step-sister stuff now. I don't have a step-sister, but I'm not – and they always focus on that. Oh, I'm your step-sister. Like I'm just not, I don't have a step sister, but I'm not like, it's like, and they always focus on that. Like, Oh, I'm your step sister. I'm like, I just like the Cinderella thing. I guess so. It's just, I never got it either, but I don't have sisters. So I mean, I have a real sister, but even still like, you know, like they couldn't make it straight up incest. So they're like, they like focus on this. I don't know. Like all of a sudden it was like, it was like, it felt like one of those

who have just dominated your stuff. You're like, is that my algorithm? You can't get over the hurdle. They got to put this in there We don't want to get sued let's be cute cute the recommending that he dip his toe into a sex party Throne is that where they're headed to when you decide you had to make your way up to the general store to record an episode? Stop watching cat videos when you're out. I have no doubt they're going back to like, uh. Well, let's see. Imaginative and intuitive are two words that sum up a Pisces, two traits that work hand in hand for an orgy.

This month maybe attend a sex party. You can participate, you can just watch. I basically did last night. This is great. All right, I'll see what I can do. What am I going to do? Go to a sex party and watch and like, bunch of sweaty people. They're all unsightly. They're going to want to talk to me. Did a picture cue? Yeah.

Yeah. If you're feeling nervous, take someone with you. It could be a partner, a friend, or a new love interest. You take me, I'm your friend. That's cool. We'll go to a sex party together. We'll check shit out. I went to a sex club years ago with a partner. I never went. How was it? It was quite boring.

I went to one of those shows in Amsterdam. There was nothing going on. Oh yeah? What type of show? It was like a sex show. It was like on stage. It was weird. It was like, you know, it was, you know, it was the first summer there and it was like whoo You know go see the sex show and he was like this is kind of like it was just weird Yeah, right. You're like man kind of remind me of like the end of what the hell's that movie? I can't think of it with Jennifer. What's her name?

There's like the sex party and like, you know, it's just like people's eyes wide shut No, not eyes wide shut the the other one with Jared Leto, I can't think of it now. Suicide Squad? Nope. Yeah, good one. What about you, Brian? Me? Of course, it doesn't work out for me really.

Never does. A fire sign for a reason. Sagittarius loves to challenge their boundaries and explore. Luckily, masturbation may use the month for exploring. Try elevating your masturbation routine by popping in a butt plug. What the fuck? Why do you guys get to go to sex parties and watch people masturbate? I'm not going to stick a butt plug in.

I don't know, but go for it. Do it. They're obviously assuming other people have already done that. Try this on your own before introducing it to a partner so you can get comfortable and acquainted with that incredible feeling. Top tip, use lube and lots of it. What the fuck? Would you have been ignorant and tried to go no lube?

Yeah, I wouldn't want to try. So that's something that doesn't interest you then? Well, let's get him. What's his birthday? Do you know? Is it your birthday? It's it's in the this bird sign it's sometime in in the spring what's your bird sign just type it up there we do this this is good too No, we're going to go all the way through it. This is all right. I can't even see.

Gemini. So he's a Gemini? A bunch of dudes. Uh-oh, yeah, there's a lot of guys. There's no one here. There you go. I knew it. Let me see.

I called it. A lot of people did. A lot of people said it. We were saying it in a different way. Let's see. We know that if they could, a Gemini would clone themselves. There aren't enough hours in the day, right? But many bodies can become one in another way

While defying traditional romantic relationships doesn't come without a few challenges solo partnered in three-way sex Along with masturbation can be seductive romantic and steamy hot. So they're telling him to have a threesome Wow, you really are getting the chef. I really yeah Threesome I know do you agree with that get him that there's not enough hours in a day You can't get all that shit done that you want to get done really how many times have I walked in a fucking sleeping on? That couch there's not enough times in a day in the middle of a fucking afternoon And you don't think I'm coming in I pop in and you're fucking snoring

snoring, tearing off the plaster off the walls. You think the monster magnets in here playing bass? Yeah, so that's National Masturbation Month. They just like – it's national this day. It's national this week. It's national this month. People really are this week, it's national this month. People really aren't bored enough that they have to come up with all this. It's hamburger day. It's all become meaningless.

Yeah. Well, those industries, though, want the ability to try to somehow maybe have a spike in sales for hamburgers, the meat industry, the butt plug industry. Is there some overseer board that you have to apply to and be like, hi, I'd like it to be national, you know, whatever day. We could declare when month of May. We could just declare it. See that's what we need to do.

Oh wait, didn't we? Yeah, we had like a, we had TST Cinco de Mayo. What happened? We just gave up on it? Yeah. We could have done something on stage at Radio City. Radio City? They synchro'd the myote. Oh yeah, what happened to that? Synchro TSD myote. You just gave up on it? Yeah. We could have done something on stage at Radio City. Radio City?

That's when we did May 5th. That's when we played. Right. Speaking of which, we were in a group text about Jimmy the hair guy going to Stern. He was in the Sirius building. I heard it. And you heard it. Now, did he mention, tell him Steve David all?

I want to call him on the carpet if he didn't. Not that I heard. Why? Why would you think he would? You should cause he, cause I wrote it. I was like, you're officially part of the whack pack now. And then he goes, nah, I'm telling him Steve Dave whack pack all the way. Oh, wow.

Uh, he, you know, he did a good job. Actually. He was very on Jimmy like, um, you know, that like, Hey, did you hear it? No, I was just driving and I heard his voice and I was like, holy fuck that's Jimmy the hair guy. He told me he was going so I was happy for him But he was very he died thought he came across very Charismatic like very well put to like he was I was I thought he was a good representation of us But I'm still on that Jimmy the hair guy high, you know from the cruise. It's hard to come down on that I yeah, it is it is it can on that high. Yeah, it is.

It can last for years. Ludondo said he did well. Yeah, he thought he did well. Ludondo, who was finally, he gets on TV and you steal his fucking thunder. He told you about this? Yes. What happened? The Guy Fieri show.

Oh, there he is. It was Jimmy the Hair Guy. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, Rob, that picture of Robin's a great one. Yeah. Oh, it is a good one. Can you say we're talking about Juggalo stuff too or something like that, I think?

He's talking about Juggalo stuff. He's talking about hanging out with Shaggy, too dope. Yeah, it was good. It's a dream come true for him. I know he's a big stern guy. Yeah, huge, huge, right? But anyway, yeah, the Guy Fieri show, I guess there's a restaurant down in Asbury Park that LaDonna goes to all the time.

It's his favorite vegan restaurant and they asked him to come down and do a little bit on it, talk to Guy Fieri. I've never seen the show so I'm not exactly sure what they do. I believe they interview people though interview people are likely interview you about like your favorite uh... for the section he was doing yes he is like your customer this restaurant when i ask you why you love it we love about the food so they brought uh...

they brought in the dondo to be the customer testimonial i believe for this vegan restaurant and he was excited to be shooting with guy and I was shooting with guy the same day I don't see how that's stealing it from him are you guys gonna be on the same episode I think we are gonna be the same episode oh come on then not the same they're gonna fucking fast-forward through his shit I can't help you know it's on though. I think a lot of

people like to hear what he has to say. You think so? Then why don't you ever put him on iJ? Uh, I could put him on iJ. Oh, you've been saying that for years. I hope we haven't had the opportunity yet. No? How's it come up? There's other people still waiting to get on too. Yeah. My brothers haven't been on. No? All right. We don't just throw people on willy nilly. We need a reason for them. We have high standards. How many times have I been on? Very nice. Did you see the Dublin, New York portal?

Yeah, I got closed down by some chick that was showing her tits or something. Yeah, the girls that were flashing. And then on the Dublin side, there were guys that were holding up their phones and it was 9-11, pictures of the towers burning. Oh my God, why would they do that? I don't know. I don't know. They said that they're going to try to use AI.

Tits is one thing. AI to defeat those kind of offensive images to blur them. If the girl goes up and flashes her tits, they're going to try to use AI to defeat like those kind of like offensive images to blur them like like if the girl goes up and flashes her tits They're gonna try to use AI to blur them on the other side Which I'm a waste of AI Don't you think Declan should be there though like flashing his junk I'll show you Your gorgeous beautiful tits. She was the one who was flashing the boobs? It was an OnlyFans girl, so probably.

And they wanna, they wanna, they wanna stop that? Yeah, there she is. Oh, I don't know. And I wanna give a shout out to Declan. He's going under the knife on Monday, you know, and so much luck. He's got an operation. Yeah, he's been, I don't know.

He's been, he's been cagey about what it is. Oh, shit, man. I hope he's not getting his knees fixed. No, he couldn't do that to us. But he definitely wanted to send some good luck and love his way for a guy who's – I'm sure everybody gets a little nervous. He's got a major surgery, assuming it's a major surgery. Yeah. Yeah, he has to stay overnight, he said.

Yeah. He's got to stay overnight. He's got to stay overnight. He's got to stay overnight. He's got to stay overnight. He's got to stay overnight. He's got to stay overnight. He's got to stay overnight.

He's got to stay overnight. He's got to stay overnight. He's got to stay overnight. He's got to stay overnight. He's got to stay overnight. He's got to stay overnight. He's got to stay overnight. He's got to stay overnight. He's got to stay overnight. you know, for a guy who's, uh, you know, I'm sure everybody gets a little nervous, you know, major surgery, assuming it's a major surgery. Yeah. Yeah. He has to stay overnight. He said, yeah. Oh man. Yeah. I wonder if it's usually when guys don't want to talk about it's usually junk related problems. Yeah.

Oh, you think he's got some ball problems. Don't we all at a certain point? I mean, you gotta have some ball problems now. You hit that big five. Oh, you know, not too, not too many. I mean you got to have some ball problems now. You hit that big 5-0. Uh, you know, not too many. I'm okay, I guess. Too many? A couple little stumbles here and there. Yeah, you know, they hang down sometimes, you know, lower than usual, I guess, as you get older. Someone would like that, man. Don't worry about it. It's good.

Do they? Dude, that's a... Statistically speaking. That curb, long ball Larry, that was like, that was, forget it. Can you get a corrective surgery for that? Can you get your balls raised? Lift? You gotta be able to.

How about you? No way! Yeah, if you get a butt lift, those Brazilian butt lifts, you gotta have a, if not, does anybody know a doctor? It's so vain that they're like, can you invent that? Can you copyright that? Rotom lift. Yes.

There's nobody that fucking insane that's like, these are hanging a millimeter too low for my liking. The girls do it for their thing, right? They get like vaginal rejuvenation surgery or something. Scrotoplasty. But those things look like they, only when they, it looks like they had an M80 stuck there. Webbed penis, what's that?

Scrotoplasty treats conditions like buried penis and webbed penis. Webbed penis? Surgeons also use scrotoplasty to create new scrotums as part of gender affirmation surgery. We're talking about a facelift. Buried penis. Sagging or large scrotum. Yeah, scrotum. Scrotum. Scrotum.

Older adults. Scrotums naturally begin to sag. Cosmetic reasons. I can't imagine spending like that much. So, BQ, how low does it have to hang before you're like, you know What I gotta look into this mid-thigh Touch the toilet water with You guys are older than me you tell me

What does it? You guys are older than me. You tell me Just you might feel like they're underneath my chin. They're so fucking tight Yeah, it depends on it depends on the weather the temperature Web penis the guy my firehouse he uses sit on his balls The guy in my firehouse, he used to sit on his balls. They got so saggy. That's a Mr. Belvedere story, right? There's a Mr. Belvedere story about that from the show, that guy about sitting on his testicles. Oh yeah, Captain Long Nuts.

I don't know why he took me for that boat ride. How long were his nuts? Oh, they were hanging out of the shorts, yeah. But then again, it was the 70s, so the shorts are probably a little shorter. Yeah, they're probably panties. Yeah, these are little panties. So web penises, some people have a sale of skin connecting their scrotums to the shaft of their penises and creates a web like appearance.

All right. All right. It's like Spider-Man. Yeah. Check this out, Mary Jane. Shoot this rope back down. It's one of those things that like with your partner, like if they were to say something then maybe you would get. How do they skirt around that?

Delicately put. Yeah, maybe, I don't know. Have you ever heard of like a scrotoplasty? Yeah. As a matter of fact, funny you should ask. Yeah, that's a tough one. Do you shoot back if someone says that to you? Do you shoot back like defensively?

Look, why don't you get some better tits? No, no, no. That's not what I'm saying. There are her boobs. There are her boobs. Wow, she's really flopping them around. Nobody in Dublin looks happy. Well, there are a lot of Irish Catholics over there.

Yeah, this is true. They don't want to see bare tits. They're like boobs. They're like boobs. They're like boobs. They're like boobs. They're like boobs. They're like boobs.

They're like boobs. They're like boobs. They're Powell Well, there are a lot of Irish Catholics over there. Pete Boulay Yeah, this is true. Aaron Ross Powell They don't want to see bare titties. Pete Boulay Yeah, you know, hey man, I don't want to be – Aaron Ross Powell Unsolicited. Pete Boulay That would be horrible. Trevor Burrus New Agnew with flashes or boobs. Pete Boulay Yeah, they did this years ago with London too and I remember they had the same

problems so I'm surprised that they had to know, right? Why is it a problem though? Like in New York City, there shouldn't be a problem really because in New York City, women are allowed to go topless, right? Yeah. Yeah. But if you're allowed that though, you know what's next then. The junk.

And then as soon as they're like, okay, now we got to allow the junk and as soon as that's allowed then someone's going to have to take it further. And then all of a sudden it's fucking right in front of the portal. You know that's going to happen if you don't draw a line somewhere. But it's funny because it's essentially just a giant like TV almost. It's just a giant like FaceTime. That's all it is. But it's something fun because it's fun about the fact that it's just random people.

Wow, people in Dublin really don't react to the boobs. No, they're just standing there watching. Yeah, that's weird. How would you react? Would you put your face like… Try to get through to Dublin. I mean, a round of applause or something, thumbs up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Something to encourage the nice young lady. But it looks like it's a lot of women though, so they might not be like... They have boobs. What do they have said about that? You see the ladies in New York, like some people laughing. Yeah, but, you know, some women are just like, oh, look at that slut. Come on, it's cheeky. It's, you know, it's boobs.

It's not, you know, come on. It's threatening though. Yeah, like if somebody whipped out their giant cock and I'm standing next to them, I'm like, oh. I think the giant cock is different from boobs. I do, yeah. Boobs are just round, you don't recognize them. I think the giant cock is different from boobs. Yeah.

Boobs are just round, you recognize it's awesome. Everybody loves them. Everybody has them to some degree. But not everybody loves giant dung. I certainly don't. It could come off as threatening. Yeah, it's very, you know, if it's hard, it's soft. We both make a different statement.

I don't know. I don't know. Jesus Christ, man. The Chinese, Walt, I thought you would like this. The Chinese have taken, have you heard of a panda dog? Yeah, they're these little dogs. Is it a mixture of a panda and a dog? That's what they're trying to get people to believe that they were just panda cubs. They mated a dog and a panda? They just took a dog and put a made him into a panda. Oh, it's a little black and plain tennis.

There he is. Would you like a little guy like that, Walt? A little panda dog? Oh, hell yeah. He is cute. Dying dogs. They died before they even left. Oh, they died into dogs.

Yeah. Oh my God. This died before they left. Well, they died into dogs. Yeah. Oh my God. This is at a zoo. They put the so-called panda dogs on display in an enclosure every day from eight to five, attracting throngs of people despite the obvious bamboozlement. That's amazing how much they do look like pandas though. Now, it's just hair dye, right?

I believe so, yeah. So it's not harmful to the dog, right, to have their hair dyed. So now is it does it get just hair dye right? So so it's not it's not harmful to the dog right to have their not using toxic. Yeah, cuz I mean How many people how many humans dye their hair, you know, and there's no harmful No, I think people are actually probably better off than people who don't why healthier. Yeah, I think healthier I think you know, it shows like a mental health thing. Yeah, I think it shows a healthy like who don't. Why? Healthier? Yeah, I think healthier. I think, you know, it shows like a... Mental health thing? Yeah, I think it shows a healthy like... I don't think you could make that same argument for the dogs. It's mentally more healthy. No, I'm just talking about people who dye their hair. That stuff's not great for you. Like, you're not supposed to do it when you're pregnant. What? Like, dye your hair. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Freak, shut up. Play it cool. Change the topic, fuck. Oh, I mean, like, we're guys though. I mean, I I've never done it but I thought about it like the beard

They've asked me a couple times There's outrage over these imposter That's the guy that's the person they can't determine if it's in it they like they thought it was a looks like a man and a Bear that was the whole thing. They're like that's a person They thought it was a… Yeah, it looks like a man and a bear. Yeah, that was the whole thing. They're like, that's a person. Is it a person?

They don't know. They say no. They said it's a bear. That's a bear, but it looks like a person. Wow. It moves too much like a real animal. That was, yeah, that was… Now, bears are the, I mean, panda bears, are they docile or are they kind of like…

No, I think they're deceptively like, they're aggressive. They can be dangerous. Yeah, sure. Well, they're deceptively like they're they're aggressive they can be dangerous yeah sure well they're not really parents right there like more ladies like some kind of some marsupial or some shit says here we should die get him like a fucking panda I don't like wave to people He's not a mic anyway, what's he doing all day Sleeping yeah, we die we die get him like a panda bear. I think that'll fucking they'll be an uptick in the general store

Kids will come and see him. So we have to bleach his skin Windows in here so he's pretty pale already Dark circle, we're gonna take a lot of bleach to get that nose white. Is it that healthy red glow? Cherry nose. The beauty of burst capillaries. Wow. These pandas are... now we're just watching panda videos, guys. Yeah, I know. Everybody's like, what the fuck is going on with this show?

Because Gittum keeps putting panda videos up. He's a terrible producer. He's putting up too many cute videos. Yeah, kittens, pandas... Fucking everything happens. Oh, I also want to say sorry we didn't get to give people more advice last week. You know, we did the Space Monkey Show wall. And, um... I also want to say sorry we didn't get to give people more advice last week. You know we did the Space Monkey Show and normally we vet people ahead of time and we call them and stuff.

But this time around we just decided like kind of on the spot to do it so I put it up on Twitter. So many people asked us for it. I went back and was like looking at the – yeah. One, it was just too much for the amount of time that we had. Two, it really strikes home that we're not qualified. Well, we never said we were. Yeah, we're definitely under qualified to offer advice on some of these problems. No, no, no, the stuff we didn't read. Oh, yeah. We know our lanes.

I mean, to be honest, I don't know if there's a subject that I wouldn't take advice from BQ on. Oh, nice. In all honesty, no bullshit. Solid, solid advice giver, in my opinion. Good consigliere. Oh my God. Yeah.

Like maybe the best. Well, I would say Mojure's the best. I haven't had much exposure. Like, my terms with Mojure haven't been on the level where I could go to him with a problem. But you said that you learned from Mojure. To this day? I call him for a lot of things. You definitely picked up some of his better qualities. The sage-like ways.

Yes. So that's about it. Nothing else? I mean, I got stuff if you wanna keep talking. I mean, teachers, I got a lot of teacher stuff. Because if a male teacher is found to be conducting himself immorally with a female student. The guy's toast. He's done. Everybody can't stand him. But when it's a female teacher and she's

even halfway decent looking, all those rules go out the door. Well, they'll still get busted through official channels, but I think society-wise everybody's like, God, lucky bastard. Society-wise, yes. Now, I used to think that too up until I read this about this lady, a Wisconsin elementary school teacher busted for making out with a fifth grader. That's what it's not cool. That's 11, right? That's like 11. Wow. She was 24. She was busted, arrested for allegedly making out with her fifth grade student less than three months before her wedding Right you oh without a doubt yeah

Best-looking girl, but like she's looking at you a mug shot you you you you you know put a little work into her She's a great swan her up a little bit. I mean, she's insane. So how do you break the, how do you call off the wedding? What do you do here in this situation if you're the groom? Okay, so I'm getting married. Yeah.

And here's the guy. My fiance, that poor bastard. Normal looking guy, just like the wholesome couple looking. Is arrested for making out with a fucking. Yeah, so how do you provide, what's your, what's the first thing you do? I go full-on offensive I repost the story. Oh, so you you don't yeah, I'm not

Waiting for an explanation no Okay, I really like your fucking your disruptive crazy Yeah, I would I would be like guys. This is what happened to me. I have this fucking I have this well wedding booked for three months from now. Yeah her side of the family You're all disembodied my side of the family We're having a fucking getting single party from the sick fuck and that's what I would do you get do you keep the wedding gifts? Any that I've gotten so far? Yes, I keep them. I deserve them. You do? Yeah, I think so. I don't think anybody's gonna ask me about toaster back as I rebuild my life from fucking getting cucked by a fifth grader. That's the worst part is getting cucked by a kid. He's out there.

At least mine was a scooter dude. Now this lady, she also allegedly moved her victim's desk closer to her desk so that she could rub his legs during class. Oh my god. Like she's doing all this stuff right in front of people. What is? That is fucked up, man? There's another lady too, and this is from Marlboro, which is right around here. Yeah

This poor guy this lady look at that's a fucking like a train wreck, right? Getting hit like blindsided by a train because you can't anticipate it No, there's no you could be like she might cheat on me whatever whatever but like yeah She's moving fifth graders desk closer to rub their legs and shit. There's no way to see that Yeah, but do you think she said like weird stuff to him like? Call me teacher or like, you know Hey, hey little boy. Oh God, he's like I thought she was just it was just a fantasy. No, she's how many years does she deserve you? He's like I thought she was just it was just a fantasy. No, she's how many years does she deserve you?

But if you're the if you're in the honorable Brian Quinn that kids residing over huh, so that kids legal so seven years Fifth oh seven years, maybe maybe I'd go ten ten years ten. Oh wow you mean more harsh I'm in a fifth grade is a little bit you need to send the message man. Yeah Yeah, I don't think you let that one fly All right. And what about the counseling for the kid? If he needs it, he might be like, yeah, no, that was cool. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, I would say you should provide some aftercare for that child. This lady, Janice Shibaka, special education language arts student. All right.

All right. All right. Very attractive, conventionally attractive lady, yes. Oh, okay. He has a picture up there already. Get him here. Good. This is a really weird story because it says that she was fondling and rubbing the girl's breasts with one hand and started touching, poking, and massaging her other breast.

This is in the hallway of school in front of everybody. The teacher then took the back of her hand and placed it on the girl's forehead to imply the girl was getting hot. The teacher then used both of her hands and began rubbing, poking, and inappropriately touching both of her breasts. As this was occurring, she had a gratifying smile on her face while the teen was frozen with her hands on her side, completely frozen in shock. Wow. Is this New Jersey? This is New Jersey. This is very close to us. The girl then blocked the teacher's hands, pulling them off her breasts and ran down the hallway where another teacher who witnessed the incident heard the first teacher yell

for the girl, come back here. I want to feel and touch them again. Whoa. Was she having like a mental break? Like a seizure or some kind of episode? Yeah, that's out there. Actually, if that's, and it was a week You gotta feel bad for her cuz she comes out of that she's like what did I do right? Yeah her fugue state

Yeah, that's rough man Says this teacher would routinely and openly engage in sexual explicit and flirtatious Conversations with female students at the school in her classroom and in front of other teachers. She's not having a at the school in her classroom and in front of other teachers. Oh, so then she's not having a fucking seizure. It's like she's just a horn dog for kids. Another girl who didn't join the lawsuit claimed the teacher repeatedly tried to get her phone number. Wow.

Is she married? She uh, let's see. I can't, it would be rough to recover from this. I don't think it could. Although I know a guy who had two, maybe three kids with a girl, raised them to a certain age and then found out that they weren't his kids. And then she left him and moved in with the father of the kids. So he lost his wife and his kids to their real father.

And all that money. Yeah. And he thought, and he was like, no, they're my kids. I remember talking to him as it was like in progress. And he's like, no, they're my kids. I remember talking to him as it was like in progress. And he's like, no, they're my kids. I don't care. Like, I raised them. Like, I was there for every part of it. And emotionally, yeah, he is, yeah. But in my head as I was listening to him, I was like, oh, man.

Sounds like they're with their dad now. Did it work out? Yeah, she went and she left him. Oh, but he never, like they never re- read no no no she's she got married to the kids Eventually father he eventually found someone else and stuff like that so you can't move on but right that's That is fucking yeah, there's a lot of World is litter with stories like that You come out of it though because the human condition is shockingly resilient.

It does seem to like, you hear these stories and you're like, you just can't imagine this shit happening to you. Right. You know, like. That's how they get you. That's how they get you. You know, you're going to bring in this handsome guy today instead of Frank Three. You're going to bring in a guest and we'll tell the story eventually someday about it, about him. Another guy that I should be, you know,

maybe worrisome of. That's a great guy. He's awesome. So we think he's got them abs. He's got the abs. And how do I know? You don't, I don't know him. Do I even know her? Do we even really know anyone? He's got the abs. He's got the abs. How do I know? You don't. I don't know him. You don't know nothing. Do I even know her? Do we even really know anyone? Do we know anyone?

We're all alone. Come on, Steve, Dave.