Tell Em Steve-Dave - #600: Dead Git 'Em Walking

Episode Date: June 26, 2024

TESD celebrates its 600th episode with a trial by fire…ants and the stakes couldn’t be higher!

We are here today to put Ginnem on trial. His crimes against humanity, or at least the podcast audience have been well documented. I enjoy how Giddim's droning bullshit is referred to as rhetorical prowess. Tell em Steve Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell em Steve Dave, episode 600, the trial of Giddim Steve Dave. Wow. To my right, Justice Brian Quinn. It's an honor to be here, Justice JJ.

Honorable, yeah JJ. To my left, Justice Flanagan. Honor to be here, Justice Johnson. Thank you, thank you. And we are here today to put Gittem on trial. He's crimes against humanity, or at least the podcast audience have been well documented and we have a couple of bona fide attorneys to take this case as far as it can go, at least, uh, in this room.

Now, before we get there though, I mean, somebody at the table has been in Gittem's seat. Any, any advice for Gittem as somebody who's faced the trial by fire dot dot dot ants? I think that Gittem, the key to Gittem is gonna be humility. He's gonna have to show humility. He's not good at it.

He's gonna have to show that he realizes that there's some things he could have done better. Maybe not admitting he did anything wrong, but could do things better and make an honest effort like I did after the trial, you know what I mean? I really listened to the feedback and made adjustments. He has to show some humility and move forward. If he doesn't do that, I don't know, man.

I got bad feeling for him. Can't adopt the mindset of like, I'm right from the outset. Can't do it. Can't take it for granted that he's gonna be back on the show, we cannot do that but all he needs is two votes of innocent yeah and he's back on the podcast so all he needs is two of us to say yeah you're back buddy no i know supreme court style action man it's not just one guy that's in charge of his future. We got a panel of people. We have witnesses coming in.

We've got a bailiff here. Ready to knock heads together if anybody gets smart. And this is binding, right? Get him agrees, whatever sentence we hand down, get him has agreed to abide by it, correct? How else? I mean, it's not up to him. It's you know, he No, but but but if we give him some sort of sentence, right and he needs to stick by it. Yes, your eminence So should we go to we have opening statements we So, should we go to, should we, we have opening statements? No, I guess we should introduce, introduce all the players for today's episode to my

left. You know, you mentioned Officer Troy is here as to act as our bailiff. Hello everybody. And actually just watching this all reminds me, like you said, we've done this once before for the trial of BQ over there. And again, I'm just astounding how much this resembles real court. Now what does a bailiff actually do?

Where I work, we don't so much have a bailiff as we just have a couple of court officers in the room. You have the judge, his clerk, court reporter, and it's not like Judge Judy where you have the bailiff who stands there and passes paperwork to the attorneys and stuff like that. So that might be for more smaller jurisdictions like local magistrates, where it's bigger court systems, so there's several court officers.

But from what I could see, the bailiff maintains security and order in the courtroom and acts as an assistant to the judge. And does he crack a lot of witty jokes at the, the defendant's expense? That's what we're hoping for this man. Again, this resembles court so much that yeah, that's exactly how it goes down. Yeah.

I think it's important to note that like, get him whether he wins or loses this trial is an important enough figure in Tell Him Steve Dave Town history that we're dedicating our 600th episode to him. This should be about, frankly, the three of us and everything we've accomplished, everything that we've built over the past decade plus, and how we feel about the show, and how

we feel about each other. It really should be about that. But instead, we're going to talk about this goof. Probably three or four hours. So episode 300 was a wedding. That's right. Yeah, there is a history of our anniversary episodes being geetem-centric.

You're right. You're right. I have to examine that. A good lawyer might be like, you know, hey, this is a sham. You're right. Hey. Yeah, yeah. One would stand up right now and say that but we have three hours to fill so we introduce some of the people in the room

right so we have on our what would be our far right but probably camera left I don't know I can't tell would be Danny the lawyer hello hello Danny the lawyer this is the first time we've met. Yes. You're a teller. Allegedly. Allegedly. Well I'm not, parking lot encounters do not,

we don't mention them in court, it's binding. You are a Tell'em Steve-Dave listener? Yes I am. And how did that come about? How did you discover us? I first heard Tell'em Steve-Dave would be playing in the background. I heard the dulcet tones of Brian Johnson.

I thought this guy's in radio, you know, because I was in radio for 25 years myself and I, uh, but I heard your tones. I heard Waltz laugh and, you know, I, and I, of course I knew who, who, uh, Q was I've watched the, uh, uh, IJ before, you know, and seen that, but you guys were, uh, I heard the voices in the background. My ex-girlfriend was a Tellem C.J. fan, and she would play that in the background. You broke up with her?

Yeah, we broke up about three years ago. She wasn't a big enough fan for you? You're like, we're gonna breathe it? Looking for a bigger fan, yeah. Might she be listening to this right now? I would imagine. Anything you'd like to say? Any revenge you'd like to get or any comments at her that you could slip in now? Hi. I haven't talked to her for a while. So. He's smart. He knows he's under some sort of legality here. So if he says something, you can get a lot of trouble for it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So glad to be here.

Thank you. Thank you for coming. And all the way from Kansas, too. Yep. Now, is now a good time to ask him about his former clients? Well, no, he wasn't a client. His former friends?

Well, Danny got the job solely because he sent me an email and he dropped three letters. What was that email you sent, Danny? Explain to Brian and the audience how you're here today, why you're here today. I'm the only attorney in the world that's actually had BTK on the stand and cross-examined him. I had a case where he was the Park City dog catcher and my friend, his mother, whose name is Barbara Walters, by the way, not Barbara Wawa, but her name is Barbara Walters, her dog Shadow was given dog running at large tickets. And I represented Shadow for free, pro bono, learned a little something from John there.

And anyway, I took that case to trial and we even took it to district court on appeal, but we settled it before we got there. But I had Dennis Rader on the stand for about 30 minutes or so. And I think he was lying the whole time he was on the stand. Because his lips were moving. What were you asking him? Were you like, where were you, like, is this all dog-related questions?

Yeah, he was a dog. You weren't allowed to bring up the vicious murders? No, no, I knew it at that point. Nobody knew about this in 1998. Well, I thought this was like after he was in jail. Yeah, 1998. You thought they pulled him out of prison to answer this?

Well, he told me at dinner that he had him, and then they dropped the trial because they got him on the murder stuff. OK. That was seven years later. Oh, all right. My bad. Now, I knew Dennis on a first name basis

because I did the trial with him. And so I'd seen him for quite a while after that in the seven years interim. And even two weeks before he was arrested as BTK, I walked into court and I had my daughter on my shoulders because she was a small kid. And I walked up to Dennis afterwards, he was standing out in the hallway and I said,

hey, Dennis, it's my daughter. And I introduced him and she shook his hand and you know, it's like, yeah, so she's in the military now, so. Now you, many times serial killers are described as being like very charismatic and personable. He never seemed to be that type, was he that type? He's a dick. Was he a dick?

Yeah. That's the best description I can, he was an anal retentive asshole. He was drumming up charges against poor dogs. Yeah, he's putting dogs down. He would actually take and have them put down before he could even notify the owner. Now, now, Gatum, you must be quaking in your boots because he said he's gone up against anal retentive assholes.

So, you're no BTK. You're pretty close being that anal retentive though. But I should have opened up a business called BTK. He's like, I enjoy BK. Does that count? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Dennis was quite an anal retentive asshole, and he was kind of hard to question,

kind of hard to cross-examine because he wouldn't admit anything wrong either. Get him? He was squirrely, huh? Yeah, very squirrely. He was known to have let dogs out and then write them up for running at large. When did you get the first whiff that they were after him for ultimately what he was? When the first time you're like, really, Dennis? Yeah, I heard the night that they announced that they had arrested BTK, I heard about it just before the announcement because I went to law school with the guy

that wrote the book that brought Dennis back out. It was Nightmare in Wichita, the BTK Strangler. Yeah, Robert Bailey is the name of the author. I went to law school with him and he was on every show being interviewed and he told me that they'd just arrested the guy and he's a Park City dog catcher. I said, Dennis? Really? That? And so I went and got my case. I'm the only case that was ever tried. Nobody else ever tried a case against Dennis, ever.

Wow. So, yeah,. I got a copy of the file for you guys. The dog catching file, not the murder case files. Yeah. It's the only time that he ever created forms and stuff for the trial that nobody else has. Now, you grew up in Kansas your whole life? Yeah. So was the BTK killer like something like of the ultimate boogeyman?

Did you guys? The ultimate. Yeah. Something like supernatural almost? When I was 11, he did his first murders of the Oteros. And the girl that he killed, the mother and the father and then two kids, and the girl that he killed was the same age as me. And so, yeah, it hit home big time for me

because this guy's killing kids my age. And I mean, I remember we would go into the house and because he would cut the phone lines, the first thing before you go in and kill somebody, it became known that that was his signature. And so we'd go inside and check the phone first thing before you go in and kill somebody, it became known that that was his signature. And so we'd go inside and check the phone first thing to make sure that he wasn't waiting for us in there. And yeah, he was...

He might be like the most like vile, weird, just creepiest person. Yeah. Right now? Enough about Gidham, let's talk about BTK. All those photos that they show to him dressing up and laying in graves and stuff, Right now? Enough about Gidham, let's talk about BTK. All those photos that they show to him dressing up and laying in graves and stuff, he might be the sickest human being that's ever walked the planet and that's so fucked up that you

came into contact with him. Could you feel it? Like when you were around him, was there a feeling of like something? It's really hard with this guy. I felt like he could kill dogs, but nobody had him on the radar at all for being a BTK killer. Yeah, no, not at all. You know, the photos that they were showing of him in women's clothes and stuff, they do that, they're sentencing and I call those like the wedding night photos because he was going to prison the next day and you know, they wanted to give a lot of

people a reason to have him. Oh, you think that's real? Yeah. Do you think he's in population or they're never going to get a shot at him? Everybody wants a shot at him. But yeah, no, I think that was done. Make him a little uncomfortable when he's going into prison. Yeah. Those are like wedding night photos.

Wow. Honeymoon. He deserved it. Well, you don't have to worry about serving any hard time. Any honeymoons, you're just going to be off the mic. Yeah. We also got another freaking full-fledged lawyer, two. What other podcast can say that?

Guys that have gone to school for so long have to remember so much. I look at an attorney and I'm like, there's no possible way, I don't care if I lived 100 lifetimes, I could ever do this job. We got two of them. A New York City detective, what other podcast can say that's this legit? None. None I can think of.

Yet we still don't get our props. I don't know how it's happening, how it continues to happen. What props would you like? Oh, I want like Joe Rogan numbers. Yeah. We got a BTK guy on. We got a handsome lawyer. We got, I mean, forget Get'em.

Yeah, yeah. Isn't he like the biggest one of all history, of all time? Joe Rogan. Oh, yeah. He's numero uno. All right, numero we? But Joe Rogan ain't yeah. Oh yeah. He's numero uno. All right. What numero we?

Yeah, but Joe Rogan ain't going to go through this much effort though. He's not going to put up a pot. No, he's just going to sit there and smoke pot and be like, so what else Neil Tigress Tyson? Yeah. I think the problem is that on the way here I was trying to explain to Merrill what's going on and the stakes involved. And just a wave of dissent.

But let's give it up for Johnny Law. It's a privilege to appear before this aghast body today. I'm really excited. And I think that we will set Get'em Free today. I truly believe it. Free Get-Em. We've seen these kinds of grassroots efforts happen before where it's like, free Brittany.

Free this one, free that one. Run Bambi Run, remember that one? Yes. Have we seen anything like that, aside from the small assembly? I've seen quite a few people demand to get them come back on. I've seen some people say that it's been the best two months of TSD's history where he hasn't been speaking, but you know, a lot's at stake today.

I hear that a lot of college campuses are now battling this whole get him trial situation. Let's show some footage of the protest on college campuses about this trial right now Ask that somebody go down to one of those protests with the home Steve dames Want to see the photo and I think it's so I don't know what the word is it's adorable but Johnny Seemed a little nervous today. It's amazing. You've done a lot of trials and yet you've still got a little bit of the butterflies. Although this is very similar to standard trial, there's a lot going into this trial today. You put there's a lot going into this trial today. And you put

a lot into this. Yeah and I want to make sure that we deliver a great episode 600 for the listeners and that you know that there's pressure. There's pressure to deliver. I tell you there's a different standard between TSD town residents now that Johnny Law has come into into the picture. Oh yeah I mean we're talking about how many phone calls of prep phone calls did we make on this? A lot of write in. A Johnny Law has come into the picture. Oh yeah, I mean we're talking about, how many phone calls, prep phone calls did we make on this? A lot of prep, a lot of write in. A thousand more phone call percentage than any other time.

Any other TSD town resident. Yeah, a thousand more boners too it sounds like. Except for. Well deserved. I know, but like there's like, there's a level of commitment that I have never seen before and it is a breath of fresh air that I just don't want to give up. I don't want this to end. I want Johnny Lawd to be the guy prepping everything from that one.

It's amazing. I mean everything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Now, Johnny, where would you place this trial in terms of other historic trials, like say OJ, or Scopes Monkey Trial, or Jesus? This is right. This is right at the top. I mean, it's right at the top. I mean, it's right at the top. For our purposes, it couldn't be more important, right?

In this world, I don't know that there is a more important trial. And I think that's why we've gathered so many of the TEST town residents to come here because of just how important this trial is. And for one of you guys, I mean, the winner, you're looking at probably being propelled to like Johnny Cochran heights when this is all said and done like a celebrity lawyer's nephew. Remember how beloved he was? I'm expecting my billables to go up 10-fold. Yeah.

Maybe your kids will get their own television shows? Yeah. Maybe your kids will get their own television shows. This is... Yeah. All right, so we are going to start the trial. Not fun and games, guys. Like, we got to take this seriously. OK?

I'm going to re- Real quick, though. Are you a judge that could be bought off, though? Yeah, but not by Gettem. I think I'm going to be his toughest judge today. Really? I do. I do. I love the guy. We went out beforehand and be his toughest judge today. Really? I do, I do. I love the guy.

We went out beforehand and talked a little judge talk. I don't know. He's got a couple bones to pick with this get him guy. In your trial, wasn't he the prosecutor? Was he? Right, am I remembering that right? He was. He was.

You're trying to prosecute me? He was. Whoa. Just barred. At one point I think Walt kinda, you know, started being prosecuted too. Did you guys listen to the other trial to like to get a handle on that?

I did, but I didn't wanna make it too much like that trial. So I did listen to it, but. Well, that was more of a kangaroo court, I feel, whereas this, this is a real. This is a real. It doesn't get more legit than this, except for if they were real judges. Okay. So let me start the trial by reading the motion here. This is official, written

by lawyers. That's stamps on it and stuff. I wonder if something's stamped on it. It's notarized. This is notarized. It's true. In the TESD town Supreme Court of Law, the people of TESD Town Plaintiff versus Gidham Steve-Dave Defendant, case number episode 600, joint requests for the TESD Town Supreme Court to remove this matter from the Court of Public Opinion

and to decide the matter once and for all in a trial by fire. Ants. Comes now the people of TSD town collectively known as ants by and through special prosecutor Danny the lawyer and defendant Giddim Steve Dave by and through his counsel Johnny Law and moves this court to remove this matter from the court of public opinion and decide this matter once and for all in a trial by fire. Ants. The parties request that this court and all three

justices seated there on, Justice Flanagan, Justice Johnson, and Justice Quinn, hear the arguments presented by the parties through testimony from witnesses and decide the matter of whether or not Get-Em Steve-Dave makes any worthy contributions to the Tell-Em Steve-Dave podcast and should be allowed to come back on the microphone and participate in the podcast or whether he should be banished from TSC town for all time or at least remove from the Tell Him Steve Dave free podcast.

The parties asked that the court hold a special trial by fire ants and air the proceedings on a special 600 episode of Tell them Steve Dave The parties prayed at this court grant this special motion to decide the matter once and for all in a trial by fire ants respectfully submitted Danny the lawyer and Johnny law this is official guys. This is as official as it comes. I've been sued before Yeah, it looks like this looks just like that looks just like that's incredible before. And it looks like this. It looks just like that. That's incredible. Alright. Oyez, oyez. All fucking persons having business before the fucking honorable, the Supreme Court of Tellem Steve Davetown, are fucking admonished to draw near and give their

attention. But the court is now fucking sitting. God save the Tellemem Steve-Dave town and this honorable fucking court. Fuck. All right, good. So now the charges will be read? The charges will be read. There is one charge against Get'em Steve-Dave, and that is that he has not, in his cooperation and his presence on the Tell Him Steve David podcast contributed in a positive manner.

In fact, he has contributed in a way which has detracted from the show overall. Serious charges. I can think of no more serious charge. He's detracting from the show. All we do is bring, we try to lift them up. Joy and the charges he brings out there. Mm-hmm.

It's disgusting. Look at him smiling too. He's happy about it. He's unrepentant. Your honors, defense counsel and get them. I have a few things I'd like to say at his opening. And first I thought about what I want for an opening. I thought the best way I could do an opening to prove my case would be just to put Getham on the stand

right now and let him do the opening because he would say things that would be like what's he saying? I don't know. But since I'm not able to do that as a prosecutor I think maybe I'll stand up here for like 30 minutes and just go through a few things. But no, that's not gonna happen either. I think what I'm gonna do is just tell you that this trial is gonna come down to whether or not he makes any kind of contributions and we're just gonna get after it and let the witnesses do the talking. And at the end after all the evidence, I'm gonna ask that you guys find that he doesn't and that's gonna be all I got

to say right now. That's your opening. Thank you. Thank you. If I'm sitting ask that you guys find that he doesn't and that's gonna be all I got to say right now that's your opening thank you thank you if I'm sitting where you get him sit that's not that bad well that's not that bad an opening statement I would I'm feeling feeling pretty confident I feel like the prosecution has a lot of faith in his witnesses that's what I got like he doesn't have to say much the witnesses witnesses are going to bring it. Okay. Yeah. I'm telling you this, this lawyer is doing the Colombo thing. He's making him feel relaxed. He's going to, he's going to sucker punch him. He does have the benefit of the facts being on his side. Now, how, how important is it to be liked by the judge? Would you rather be liked by the judge or Now, how how

important is it to be liked by the judge? Would you rather be liked by the judge or the jury more? For jury jury for sure. Yeah. But this is since this is a judge. Yeah. Making the decision in this one though. Yeah. And how do you how do you

usually play up to a judge? Uh a lot of kids ask but I do that from the minute I first meet them, you know. It's not something that just starts in the courtroom. It's something that happens all the time. And they know it and expect it? Yeah, they expect it, you bet. A jury, you can definitely be more personable. I think a judge, you just don't want to feel like you're wasting their time. A lot of times.

Are the honorable justices enjoying their cold water? If you... Supplied by get him Steve Dave out of his own pocket. Wow. I'm gonna tell you right up front, Kale. A lot of people have made the joke that he, Gideon, has become my adopted son. I'm not gonna lie. It's gonna be hard for me to be impartial. He has become somewhat of a child-like figure.

To many of you. My father just said the same thing to me today. It took a while. But he doesn't go anywhere out of your life if you lose his try. But I know that a part of him will die today if he never gets back on the regular Tell Him Steve Dave podcast. The rest of them is going to die if he doesn't go on a diet. How many more parts of me can afford to let them die?

But I'm telling you, I'm one of those hard-nosed judges You know, I'm really you're really gonna have to win me over Danny because you know that you're talking about a guy who has no He comes over he takes birds out of my fucking stove Who else does that? Well, it's gonna I get a call at 3 a.m. In the morning. You could still call him But he's not gonna like he's not gonna come over as quickly as he wants to know like this is gonna leave a bad taste You have to remember that he's an employee and you pay him I know so he's got what you tell him to do. I do like to Doing you favors? No judge in history would sit here and be like but it's gonna affect me personally

He might lose the spring in his limb He might lose the spring in his limb. But I think you're the hard-nosed one. I love Getham. Right. Love him. No doubt. He's a friend. He's a dear friend.

And you could say that I'm pulling for him, but I'm striving to be objective. For justice. For justice, yeah. And I feel I am striving more leniency, and I don't know where, Brian, I don't know where you fall. I think I fall right in the middle. Right. Yeah, I believe I fall right in the middle, yeah,

because I've been interrupted several times by him, annoyingly so. And so I understand when people have that complaint, but at the same time, it's nice to have him there when you need a quick fact. Right. Again, he could still give the fact off mic. Mm-hmm.

No, but it's cruel. To who? To get him. What about the listeners that say us? It's like he's the puppy and we're the BTKs. Ha ha ha. All right. Defense.

So when there's a jury and there's women in the jury, God damn. Do you give them the whole, like, little eye contact, So when you when there's a jury and there's women in the jury Here's your Tinder match. It's a little like Grindr. It looks like a make-a-wish, bro. Would you be willing to have sex with one of the judges to win this case? Sorry, I think we're going to win on the merits here. No, it's not me you have to apologize. Sorry, I think we're gonna win on the merits here. Oh, it's not me you have to apologize. Sorry, Wallace.

I'm all flushed. My face is all red. There's a very handsome lawyer in the room. May it please the court, counsel? How you stankin'? Today I have the honor of representing Get'em Steve Dave. Get'em Steve Dave is under attack. He is under attack by nameless and faceless individuals who are bitter and jealous. For those of you on Patreon, and if you're not, that's patreon.com, slash tell'em Steve

Dave. That's good. You can see that I wear a suit of black today. I Wear black because I have been in mourning for these past months mourning the loss of The unofficial fourth member of TESD and I do not mean Adolf Hitler I'm talking about this young man here get him Him Steve Dave. Get Him Steve Dave has been unjustly banned from Tell Him Steve Dave. The prosecution has taken up this cause.

They will say that he's a know-it-all, that he's annoying, that his mere presence on the podcast diminishes Tell Him Steve Dave. But in order to truly understand this case, we have to go back, Back to when innocent baby Getham was abandoned. Back to when a bright-eyed young man was rejected by his true love for a blind snake in the grass. Even though that baby has grown, and boy did he grow,

those scars still remain. When Getham thought he found a home, it burned to the ground. Now, TESD is his only home. It's the only place that he belongs. But now, he may be abandoned by the very podcast that he has given everything to. His pride, his self-respect, and yes, even a domain name for a reasonable compensation. Your honors, we can't allow for such a miscarriage of justice. Today we will hear from the residents of TESD town, and though some, jealous of his IQ, his rhetorical prowess, may belittle him and may diminish his contribution to TESD, you will also hear from many residents.

When they take that stand, they will tell you of the numerous contributions, a constant willingness to jump into any costume, to share his often tragic childhood stories for the mockery of others, and to ensure that any fact uttered into a mic is fact-checked with the vigilance of a superhero in failing health.

Ladies and gentlemen, don't forget Halloween without Alvira. Don't forget those Christmas stories that Getham shared with us as he strung popcorn. Don't forget that Getham got married for this podcast. Now at the close of this trial, your honors will walk back to your luxurious chambers to deliberate. And I remind you... We have chambers? You mean the bathroom?

The yarn lady's letting us use her office. We can't touch any of the yarn. And I remind you that here in TESD town, the prosecution has the burden of proof. That means that they must prove their case beyond a reasonable doubt. Your honor's they cannot meet that burden and they will not meet that burden. Cocky. I think we should mark this down. This moment, a star was born.

this moment a star was born right there. I enjoy how Giddim's droning bullshit is referred to as rhetorical prowess. That was my favorite part. You've been a lot of courtrooms, Troy. Have you ever heard something like that? That was pretty good. That was pretty good. If there were a jury here, I'd say that they would probably just tell the judge, like, let's go right now. We're gonna start deliberating. That's only because Danny, the lawyer hasn't put his witnesses up there.

You're only hearing the good points of Gittin'. Yeah. You know? He's keep, you drown in his eyes. I saw it happen. Yeah. Get him how you feelin' over there after that opening. Reserved.

We'll see if he can, we'll see how long that lasts. Humble. He is showing a bit of humility. Yes. Because he's been off mic for weeks now, or months, and he's finally back on. He's been very quiet. He's said very, very little, and he's had an opportunity to speak. So I think he's been a little humble. We'll see.

It's just started. I think it was interesting. He started with how you stank it, and then everything that came out of his mouth was stankin'. You know? Oh! Danny the lawyer! Shot!

Whoa! Whoa! This is unacceptable. Would you object to that in a real courtroom? Oh, I'll be objecting to it after the trial. Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Shit! Yeah, I did hope at some point that someone will object, because I always wanted to allow it. Oh, I'm going to be sustained. You're going to sustain it. Yeah, it will be sustained.

You shouldn't say what the judgment will be before the objection is made. I want to say the word sustained. Oh. All right, so what happens now? I would like to bring before the honorable justices the first witness today and that would be Sunday Jeff. Oh, leading off with fucking Dollar Shave.

Wow. A guy that Gidham had worked with for years. Yeah, it's interesting that he's a witness for the prosecution. Sunday Jeff, please enter the court. Oh, right. Whoa. Yes, please. Right there. Could you put your hand on the kissing devil's skull? You swear

to tell the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth? Certainly. What I got to lose. Perfect. Thank you. Now, is there an emotional component to the fact that he's wearing a secret stash? Is there something going on here? Is he trying to remind Gittem of better days? Yeah, I don't know. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. His better days were at the stash, not here?

Well, he wasn't on trial for his life at the stash. That is true. Could you state your name for the record? Sunday Jeff. And Sunday you? No, no, no. Could you state your name for the record? Sunday Jeff. And Sunday, you- No, no, no, we really need your real name. No, you don't. Sunday Jeff.

And Mr. Sunday, you know that you've been sworn here to tell the truth. Absolutely. And you're here as a witness for the prosecution. I am. You've been with the podcast since the beginning, so to speak. Yes. You've been there, and surely the beginning, so to speak. Yes. You've been there, and surely you've got a story or two about Gidham and how he's

detracted things over the years. Sure. I'm sure there's some stories. Yeah? Wouldn't you want to part with any of them? Don't really recall any of them off in my head right off the bat. Yeah? Have you ever had any run-ins with Giddim that detracted from

the podcast? Not at the professional level. Outside of work, yeah, probably there's a couple of altercations, but overall I haven't really had any problems with him at work. Do you think he adds or subtracts to the podcast when he's on? That's tough. He's good in doses. Yeah. You just need just the amount of dose. A small amount of get-em-goes-a-long-ways is what I've read more than once. Not over the top. Yeah.

Give him enough, but don't give him too much. How about those times when he's interjecting things into the podcast that kind of kill the blow? As far as the regular podcast, I'm not on it that much, so I really don't listen to a lot of that stuff. I haven't listen to a lot of that stuff I haven't really heard a lot of it. So you don't listen week after week about the patreon stuff

Well, we're talking about the regular we're talking about the regular that I don't really listen to it much either Oh, yeah, I know that's my point He's coming hot on all the time anymore. So it's like skip four weeks at a time. So, you know. He's coming hot. I know. Who's your witness for again? You do recall that you're the prosecution witness, correct? Yeah. What's it like to work with Getham? It was okay. It was okay to work with him. Didn't he buy you an ice pick? Yes. I never used it though. What was the reason for that unique gift? There was times where he just wouldn't like shut the fuck up. But why did he buy you an ice pick though? Because I always said that I

need an ice pick to stick it in my brain. So yeah, give him his bought you an ice pick basically telling you to whack yourself. No, I made the contest. I made the... So you're saying being around them is so bad that sometimes you'd want to put a pick in your... Objection, relevance. This is not relevant to his performance on the show. Better in witness.

Sustained. Sustained, overruled. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The Moors Court Rooms have three judges. Is that how it's done these days? We can give you your zone, The Morse Courtrooms have three judges.

Is that how it's done these days? We can give you your zone and you can tell them to... Oh, I get my own judge, huh? Yeah, just real quick. Nice. Overruled again. Can you please just knock your knee? I really want to know if you have any reflexes.

It really is at this point. It's debatable whether you're alive. You know one judge is parcel already, so right off the bat, you know one judge is automatically for him. Which judge would that be? I'm not gonna name any names. You think I'm in the bag, forget him. You'll be in trouble. No, get him, what am I gonna do?

Now if you were just having lunch with a friend and talking about get him, is it easier to answer the prosecution's questions? You have to look at him, he needs a sad case right there. Yeah, look at questions? You have to look at him. I mean, he needs a sad case right there. Yeah, look at him. You got to look right at him. Sad case is for him.

Is he making it more difficult? You can get him or just the sad case? Well, you know what I'm saying. Is there anything else you'd like to add before we turn it over to the defense? No, I've known him for quite some time, but overall he's a good guy. His heart's in the right place.

Yeah. Being here is the right place, you mean? Uh, well, is there any other place he goes? This is it. It's kind of like electric. Stand to the witness. Overall, he's a good guy. Mr. Sunday, how are you? All righty. It's always a pleasure to see you.

Absolutely. Sunday Jeff, you've been part of the show for a number of years at this point, right? Yes. And you've appeared on some of the greatest, tell them Steve Dave specials like the Halloween special? Yes. And how could you evers like the Halloween special? Uh, yes. And how could you ever forget that great Halloween special where you get him Steve Dave dressed

up as the one and only Alvira? That was a good Halloween special. Would you have done that? Uh, no. I would have not gotten in that costume. That's pretty embarrassing, right? Um. Only because you don't have the shape.

Yeah, that would be correct. I don't have the shape. I don't have that figure. I don't have that ovarian figure. You'd have to admit that even with that figure it would be a little bit embarrassing. Oh yeah. There's very few people that are willing to do that. I can't have that picture out. Of course not. I could have that picture out on the internet. But get him Steve Dave. Get him Steve Dave is willing to do that kind of thing. This is true. Get him Steve Dave, you would have to admit, is willing to dive into the depths of his life, no matter how embarrassing they are, for the benefit of this show.

That's true. I have no more questions for this witness. However, at this time I make an application to the court. I would like to invoke rule 24B of the Tell'em Steve Dave Supreme Court rules and playing impromptu game with get him Steve Dave of two live crew or one middle aged Jew. allowed to do that?

I'm gonna allow it. Agreed. It is rule 24B. What's 24A? Yeah, what's 24B? You don't want to know about 24A. So, you knew that you had to come up with a couple of raps, a real rap and one that you penned, right?

Right here. Apparently. Oh my God. Eesh. So which, I would go with the one. Let me read this. Where's the Elvira outfit? Wow, a rapper in court.

I'm supposed to read both of these? Yeah, because then Gatim is going to decipher which one you penned and which one is the real rap. I don't know if you remember this game. There's a lot of things I don't remember. Can I say that? It's just like my memory is foggy. You wrote this a while ago.

It's my understanding. Yeah, it must have been. It must have been in my hoodlum days. All right, ready? Yeah, it must have been. Must have been in my hoodlum days. All right, ready? So what is just the rules are again, just for the audience at home, are you gonna read a bunch of raps and Giddim has to decide which one's fake?

He's gonna read two verses from a rap. One is a real rap that you can find on the radio. One is an original Sunday Jeff rap. Giddim Steve Dave has to decipher which an original Sunday Jeff rap. Gatum Steve Dave has to decipher which was the Sunday Jeff rap. This is a risk. This is a risk by the defendant. I think you need to hear the raps first.

Then you'll see how much of a risk it really was. Fair enough. Ready to lay down a beat? Please state the name of the song. This one's called Gimme That Nut. Tiss like dit. Let me start over. Tiss like dat, it's like dis.

I took it to the pad and we started to kiss. Now my dick's on hard, you know what I'm kicking? Took her panties off and her pussy was stinking. Pulled off my drawers and we started to begin. Now the pussy's wet so my dick slides in. Oh, hitty, hitty, hitty, hitty, you hoe. Riding from the back so I'm fucking kinda slow. So fee-fie foe-fuck bum.

She's scratching on my back. Oh, here she comes. Oh my God. So that was... Give me that nut. What is the name of this next verse? Prison Sluts. Ready?

How do you spell that? S-L-U-T-Z-Z. Oh, two Z's. Oh, shit. I'm from the streets, son. Ready? Hef can keep his playmates in porn stars. I'm only after the kind of pussy that's found behind bars.

I'm just a horny warden abusing his power. Gotta make sure you don't take any contraband into the shower. To find shanks in those sexy hiding spots, gotta stick my finger in a wild bunch of balloon knots. Some of these inmates only identify as chicks, but when I close my eyes, they all look like Stevie Nicks. Women incarceration films increase this dog's heart rate, yo. That's women in prison movies for all those who ate 148.

Wow. Wow. Wow. That was some rap. Yeah, word to your mother. So that could be a legitimate rap song that ends with a reference to 148. Yeah, yeah. A get him reference really. Well, Diddy did that a lot. Diddy reference get him a lot. We never know who what might be. So wow, there's a lot on the line here, counselor. What does your client think is the real rap song? More importantly, what does he think is the Sunday Jeff rap? Which would your honorable justices like to know first?

Which is the Jeff or which is the real? Well, when you answer whichever question you answer, your client's already dragging things down. He's already dragging things down. He's already dragging things down. He could have just answered the question. This is the fucking problem with this guy. Stand up when you approach the branch. My client is just trying to show the respect

that is deserved for each of these justices. Okay, showing none is what he's trying to say. Honorable Justices, given what I know about The Witness, I believe that Prison Sluts with two Zs is the song written by Sunday Jeff due to its references to Stevie Nicks and prison movies. Is it true, Sunday? Do you have a thing for Stevie Nicks?

Oh, I love Stevie Nicks. Just saw her. And like me, she is innocent. Saw her at a concert. Outside her house. From time bars. And much like me, Stevie Nicks is innocent. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm. Sorry, I have a concert. Outside her house. And much like me, Stevie Nicks is innocent. Everything that's said about her. Oh! I don't know what I'm talking about. Cringy cringe. You gotta keep him under control, man. Keep it up there, get him.

You wanna know, silence of the lambs masks right now. Like I said, I need you to put him under control. That's not from eating flesh, though. It's just to keep him up there. Get him. Go on. Go. You want to know silence of the lambs masks right now. That's not from eating flesh though. It's just to keep them from eating. You know, there is such a thing as contempt of court. Just letting you know. We don't want to have to find anybody in contempt. I will make sure that my client is duly restrained. So Sunday, would you reveal to the court, which was the Sunday Jeff rap? It would be, give me that nut. What?

No, that was easy E, you're not easy E. That's easy E. All right, let's do this again. What is going on? Because it says Sunday Jeff on the top, I thought this was the one that was worth the tech. No, the guy says easy e next to that one though Don't worry about it. It's okay. All right, so it's number two

It's been a long day I did work like this doesn't work No, it's not So get him got it right, but I don't understand what that proves exactly So Get'em got it right, but I don't understand what that proves exactly. He could decipher Sunday Jeff's raps that he's... Yeah, I know. Yeah, Kelser, yeah, what does this prove? The ability to play and succeed at these classic Tell'em Steve, Dave games should be considered when determining whether or not Get'em should be part of the show. And the ability to screw him up should also be considered.

Thankfully, he did incredibly well. That was a head scratcher at first. I was like, which one will it be? Eazy-E or Sunday Jeff? Is that it for this witness? I don't know counselor is that's it for this thing else? Yeah that is it for this witness. It's a hostile witness man. It's gonna be a long night Sunday believe it you don't want to hear it any longer than that. That's it. Thank you for coming Sunday. And Sunday, thank you for all your contributions for the 600 episodes that you've made. Oh, thank you.

Thank the listeners. You're a legend. Yeah, you are. Thank you. You are. Good job. Definitely, the show wouldn't be the same without him. Good luck to you, brother.

I need it now. There he goes. The prison wrap should be good he goes. Take a picture. Again, just like court. Judges appalling the witness. Prosecutor taking selfies. Do that normally in court? Oh my God.

Later, Sunday! Hi, this is Tim Hill and I am sending along my sincerest congratulations to Walt, Frye, and Q for your 600th TESD episode. You have made many a day brighter for friends and aunts alike. Next up, get to 650 and you'll have more episodes and Tom Brady has regular season touchdown passes. Again, congratulations and thanks for your lifelong friendship and for including me in the TESD family. Call your next witness. and congratulations and thanks for your lifelong friendship

and for including me in the TSD family. Call your next witness. Next witness to calling Jimmy the hair guy. Oh. Jimmy the hair guy. There he is. There he is. Thumbs up guy. Yeah. Swear on the on the. Yeah. Please put your hand on the skull. Do you swear to tell the truth? Nothing

but the truth. So help you god. I do. Alright. Let's have a seat. Could you please state your name for the record? Uh Jimmy the **** hair guy. Jimmy the **** hair guy. Yeah. A new a new middle name there, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. So, um what do you think about Get'Em? Get'Em? I love Get'Em. I love Get'Em, even though, uh, Get'Em hates me for some reason. Uh, I fucking love Get'Em. Yeah? Have you been to any puppets with him lately? Yes, but he didn't know I was coming. And when I arrived, he was very pissed and would not face me, would not look at me, would

not say hi to me, sat at the other fucking end of the table from me, would not acknowledge I was even there, would not hug me, tried to squirt me with a squirt bottle. Like a cat. Like a cat. Yeah, so no love love. This is shocking. This is shocking behavior. I haven't heard this.

I mean, I just said. Well, how many people were there? Six. So he embarrassed you in front of many people were there? Uh, six. So he embarrassed you in front of these people? Yeah, a little bit. How many of the six was getting? Yeah, he made up for a few for sure. He ate his fish, yeah.

I think I earned my spot, but he wouldn't even fucking acknowledge it, but it's okay, I still love him. Yeah? I still love him, he hates me, I fucking love him, it's okay. I don't know if we'll have enough time, but could you list some of the things he ate?

Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. When I looked over, I saw peanut butter chicken more than once.

Uh, I definitely saw some of those fucking, those dumpling things. I saw, I know he ended with soft serve. I believe he even tipped at the end. What that's- No, I'd like that, right? I'd like this witness testimony stricken from that point. You know?

Tipped? I'm pretty sure. Yeah? I'm pretty sure. I think he was kind of going it in a little bit, but you know. Jimmy, in your opinion, do you think he abused the amount of food that one person, one patron

should eat? No, no. I think he did what was... We were only there for like an hour and I think he did what he was allowed to do. I don't think he abused it. He had like six plates, but I mean, it is all you can eat. Would the owner say he abused it? I don't know.

He seemed to know the owner. I don't know if the owner knew him, but he knew everybody that worked there. He knew their first names. He knew everything about the joint. You were a listener for a long time before you were on the show. What was your opinion of Get-Em as a listener before you got to know him? Um, well, I'm kind of a fan. I remind you you're under oath. I am under oath. I'm kind of a fan of everything you guys do. So I kind of love Gettem as soon as you guys love Gettem.

Like when he first wouldn't give you guys a domain name, I was like, yeah, fuck Gettem. Once you guys love Gettem, then I love Gettem. Like once he was in, he was cool with my one. This domain name's coming up a lot. The domain's coming up a lot at this trial already. We've really just started. And during dinner.

Yeah. Yeah. This might be a real problem, forget him, this domain issue. I feel that is such, so far in the past, so far in the rear view mirror, I can't imagine that that domain name is still an issue for anybody anymore. I can tell you that it is. Tell you that it is. Really? tell you that it is. Really? For someone at the table?

For one of the judges. So $700 lighter. I mean, for you? I mean, you make $700 just winking. That's not what it's about. That's not what it's about. But I did it at the time.

This is true. At the time, I had to go down to my bottom penny to pay this guy who originally agreed for $300 and then came back after shaking a hand for $700. It's coming up a lot already. Coming up a lot already. Coming up a lot already. Now, is it tough as an attorney to deal with someone who loves everybody and everything, regardless? Try and twist it somewhat to where they don't love them as much as what they're claiming, you know?

If the guys here didn't, if they said right now they don't love him at all, what would your opinion be? Oh, yeah. I think I'd still love him. That's my boy, I mean. It doesn't sound like it. It sounds like he hates you. Yeah, no, he's my boy, it's not the other way around.

I wish the feeling was mutual. I love the guy, I fucking marched for the fucking guy, protested, I did all that shit. I want the man back on the show. He just fucking hates me for some reason, I have no idea why. What do you think, I already twisted it around. I think you did.

He said he loves him, but anybody that's listening is not going to really love that. Right. He gave a laundry list of shitty behavior, and he's like, but I still love him. You can't unring that bell to the jury or to the judges. Is this the Cato Kaelin of TSMK? Caelan of the GSM. I think this bell's been rung. I'll tender the witness. Wow. Got a lot of damage control my client's actions at the buffet.

Now, you would have to agree that this podcast is not exactly fresh air, right? Certainly not in this room. Right. There's no windows in this building. We're not an NPR bot. Oh, Terry Gross. Gordon Auschwitz. I bring up moving to another office. Everybody has an emotional breakdown.

This isn't some children's podcast. This isn't the Waltons of podcasts. There needs to be a certain amount of dysfunction within the ranks for this podcast to prosper Oh, yeah, I would say so there needs to be conflict. Oh, yeah, there needs to be here. I say Actions that for a normal person would be reprehensible, but within this context is celebrated. Yeah. Yeah, I'd say so So get them shunning you Is that not funny? Oh, it's fucking hilarious. Get him getting six plates and, you know,

killing himself slowly, that's not funny. I took pictures of me in soft serve. I don't know if he knows that. You took pictures. Yeah, I took pictures. You took pictures? I took me in soft serve. Could you put them into?

Yeah, you want? Could you submit them to evidence? Your honor, the defense would like to submit the following pictures into evidence. Yeah, of course. You got it. Send the victor. Send the victor?

We'll put him up behind us on the green screen. Okay, you got it. Send him to it right now. Yeah. I took so many too trying to fucking get the perfect shot of him. I got a good one though, he's chewing. Can I see it? Show though, he's chewing. Can I see it? Can you just show it to me?

Yeah. Mr. Hair Guy, it sounds... Isn't that what someone does at a buffet? Chew? Ice cream? Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah. Look at him shoveling in. Oh he is, he's not slowing down. I can't help but notice that you were both entertained.

Yeah, yeah. So what I ask you is, in a world where everything must be just so, isn't Tell Him Steve-Dave just a little bit better by having a personality like Get Him Around? Oh yeah. He produces plenty of stories for everyone to tell. Oh, yeah, can you tell us can you tell? The honors a story or two that you can think of where you particularly like would get it. Yes. Yes, I got I got a few yeah

the only time Walt ever got like actually fucking pissed the There are no hidden pops that is one of the greatest fucking moments the fucking broken laptop whatever the fuck that's iPad That's the fucking best. What kind of son are you? I know I shouldn't have let him in the store because it was 558 when he came in but I got yelled at for that so This is the realest it's ever gotten. Woof. I'm not even kidding. That can take it. Rich, we need to put a call out for another iPad. I've seen this. I've known Walt since fifth grade. Never have I seen him as angry in that moment. Jesus Christ.

That is the fucking best. Walt fucking screams at him, get the fuck out. That never happened before or again and without Get Him, that never would have happened. Obviously everything involving his fucking crazy ass mom, fucking gold, he fucking brought the best Christmas story on his first fucking Christmas episode with his crazy fucking mom, getting out of the nut house, fucking taking him to use fucking dental floss to fucking hang popcorn and shit, and then a real deep fucking dive, the Black Friday special on Patreon.com slash Tom Steve Dave, back when they were at the Stash, Gittem's wearing a fucking turkey hat on his head on Black Friday and there's a beautiful fucking shot.

I don't know who directed it, maybe Chuck Props. It should have won an award. There's a shot of fucking Gittem eating a fucking turkey leg for like a solid two minutes and it is the greatest fucking moment of film in TSD history. It is fucking, it should be award-winning. And it's the best. That's all because of Get'em.

Not because of Walt saying, eat this turkey leg for two minutes. Oh, what a director. But Get'em was the one eating it. I don't know, I love him. He hates me. Not mutual. Your honors, at this point,

we would like to make an application to the court to play the game One True Tweet with Jimmy and my client, Giddim. One True Tweet. I've not heard this game yet. Alright. Will I allow it? I don't have to play? No. You can help. If you want to help Jimmy, you're more than willing to help him. I think that's what a good judge would do, right Troy?

That would help. In the real world, yeah. You could give him maybe your thoughts, what you think it is to kind of get guidance. Sure, okay, all right. I will allow it. Let's play one true tweet. Now this is a game is one we haven't played in years.

Years. This is a deep dive. Well, this is so deep I have no recollection of it. I don't remember this at all. I'm mostly putting it together through context clues. Well, do we want to potentially announce what the stakes are for this game? You've talked it over with the defense, with with the witness and you've put up some stakes here today right and what are those stakes Jimmy if you lose what's

gonna happen if I lose I'll be getting a tattoo of get him Steve Dave in the hallway in the hallway while this child the seat potentially on Wait, you don't have to go under face though. Nack, you don't have to. I'm taking this fucking seriously. Don't talk about it, man. I don't know how to do it. Seriously. Please don't do it on your face. No, no, no, no, no, no. He's a grown man.

All right, Nack, Nack. I'll do Nack, I'll do Nack. No, don't even do Nack. Well, how about you just win so you don't have to do it at all? Well, that's how fucking confident I am. I don't think I'm gonna have to. You remember this game?

I'm sorry, Q. No, I don't actually. Really? I don't. This definitely was a game, right, Tristan? Yeah, I's how fucking confident I am. I don't think I'm gonna have to. You remember this game? I'm sorry, Keeley. No, I don't actually. Really? I don't.

This definitely was a game, right, John? This was a game, yeah. Okay, all right. And so how the game goes is, I will read off three tweets that are attributed to, in this case, one member of the Tell'em Steve Dave town. Two of the tweets are false false They're completely fabricated one of the tweets are real you have to guess what the real tweet is Now you will have three tweets to guess

Get them will have three tweets to guess and then there's also a tie-breaker round should we need to go? You know at one more round or all three tweets from the same member of Thomas Steve Davetown? They'll be from each group of tweets will be from a different member of Thomas Steve Davetown. So the first one is which of these Ming Chen tweets are real? Oh, he tweets like a mother. I know.

He almost can't keep up. Usually he says to profess love to some stranger. Yeah. A stranger or a brand of coffee. Or a yoga maffi. A yoga maffi. Amanda Vines. Sword for some reason. The first tweet.

China's ass meets America's ass. The second tweet. Happy birthday to the best backside in podcasting. Love you at Sunny Lane. Three, here Mike talk up the pleasures of eating ass on today's Mike and Ming show on the Sir Network. Which one of those three tweets is the real Ming Chen tweet? Don't answer it.

You can talk to the judges. The ass eating? Yes. Three was a big moment. That's why I think it might be a swerve. That's a good call I'd be the second one. I think second one was so sick commenting on a podcast was ass also sounds very mean I understand the first one Minch and tweet do then yeah, it's true something about ass They're all about ass now. I think about it three tweets about ass You just hit us Fuck yeah, what do you think I?

Would lean towards the the third one or I remember like you say it being a point of conversation and I think that Ming in real life would be I remember, like you say, it being a point of conversation. And I think that Ming, in real life, would be awkward enough to mention her ass, but I think that he's well thought out enough that he's like, I know I shouldn't put this in a tweet about Sonny Lane's backside. Like you, I didn't really understand the first one.

Do we have a picture of Sonny Lane's backside to see if that he was talking about her? Victor, please put up a picture of Sonny Lane's backside to see if that he was talking about her? Victor, please put up a picture of Sonny Lane's backside for Q. Oh, there it is. Okay. Does that look like something I can't... Oh, I see his green. I don't know. Does that look like something that he would be commenting on? I... He's a dog. Yeah.

He is a dog. Those lovely lady lumps. Where was the mic thing? That was on TSD. In his mouth. He said on the Sore Network. He was plugging the Mike and Ming show on the Sore Network saying listen to these episodes.

That's where that happened? Allegedly. You got a tough decision in front of you, my friend. I think I gotta go with three, man. Three. Okay, your final answer. Yeah. That is incorrect. Oh, fuck me.

Real Mingchen tweet. What was the fucking first one? China's ass meets America's ass. What the fuck does that even mean? We're seeing it right here, right up here. Wow, look at that. Out of context, that really sounds weird, but yeah. Probably in context.

In context, it's weird too. Fucking Ming. Now, if get him answers this correct on you has won this challenge I Would like to point out that the Mike and being talking about eating ass was not on the CER network It was on the shared universe network on a one of their podcasts That's the kind of accuracy we all appreciate. Thank you for that, Gidham. Appreciate it. Gidham, which of these Walt Flanagan tweets are real? I don't tweet that often.

You don't tweet that often, but you've at least made three tweets. Listen, Brady is the goat. I'm tired of the haters. I think we could be close friends. Number two, Ming's signature should be seen as a bonus. I cannot accept exchanges. All copies signed. Wow. And number three, I'm partial to us old guys like Tom and myself who dye their hair and aren't ashamed. Wow. Do you follow me? Get him?

Possibly, yes. Yes, I do. I'm not sure if you think that you, I know you think you could be friends with Tom Brady And I remember the the main signatures that was on the cryptos oik man, yes it was yes I Know you're you're proud enough to admit that you dye your hair. I'm beyond proud. You don't try to hide it or like some people do. A lot of dead air here. Um... Out of dead air here. I'm sorry, I'm trying to go over to my head

and not be too vocal, which is a new habit I picked up lately. Which could, you know... And he just killed it right now. Before. You've grown, sir. We need an answer, we need an answer. I'm gonna go with number three.

The partial to Tom and myself who dye their hair and yes. I am so happy to say that you have answered correctly. Oh, when did I tweet that? Yeah, I remember that one. You tweeted on September 14th, 2021. Yeah. Wow. Now, was that Tom Brady or Tom Milzanski?

I'm assuming it was Tom Brady. You should gag him right now. You should gag his ass right now. All this work he's undoing, all this great work. Oh, you know. It's what the people are talking about. Like I said, I should have put him on for my opening. Did you sit him down and prep him for this trial?

No, no. Chos. Yeah. Did not sit him down and prep him for this trial? No, no. Chos. Yeah. Chos. Did not sit him down and prep him. He's unprep-able. So Jimmy, you have to get a tattoo. Of Get-Em.

Of Get-Em. In the hallway while this is all going on, don't get it on your face. Get it somewhere where you can at least keep your job. That'll be all right. Yeah. Wow, what do we think so far of our two witnesses thus far? I mean, I think they delivered to me exactly what we could expect from them. I think it's looking good for the defense.

What about you? Um, I don't see what anything so far has to do with him. I'm winning that game didn't really sell me that he belongs on the show Like what did that do? that he understands the The vibe of the show better than better than Jimmy the hair guy does or he made a lucky guess one of it, too Yeah, but even if he understands the vibe of the show more Would he be sitting here if he did?

He wouldn't be sitting here if he did that. Yeah. But all right. But all right. Yo, this is Dave Windor from Monster Magnet wishing Tell'em Steve, Dave congratulations on 600 episodes. Yeah. Prosecution calls its next witness and calls Tom Milachevsky or Militavsky or. Close enough.

Tom in. The same journey we all take. Hey! What's up bud? Hello. How are ya? Good. How are you guys? Nice to have a seat. Gatum, are you worried about this witness? Uh, I'd like to plead the fifth.

My answer may incriminate me. Put your hand on the skull. You swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Yes. OK. Now, here's the part everybody in the room wants to hear. Could you state your name for the record?

Tom Milashevsky. OK, Tom. And you were going to be the prosecutor in this at one point, were you not? I believe so, very early on. Yeah, so would you say that you have a love for Gidham? A love-hate? Yeah. I remind you, you're on the road.

Yes, absolutely. It goes back and forth. Yes, have some tips over time? Maybe, a couple here and there. You want to tell us about some of them? I think at the beginning there was a lot of friction between us, but I think over the years we've worked on it. Early on, between just some sibling rivalry

as we established the hierarchy of where we fell in Walt's love, I think. Yeah. And then once we sorted out that. Can you explain that for those who, for those watching and listening who may not realize, we're like, yeah, that sounds really weird out of context. No, I don't think it does.

No, I think exactly how I'm feeling. Yeah, we have to figure out who you love more and how we line up with it. I like to take on like, you know, like, protegees. You know, someone I've taken to- Robins. Like Robins. Yeah, like you have your Robins. What? Like Robins.

You have your Robins. Orphans, yeah. And I'm drawn to, you know, young men with high intellects. Oh yeah, there's no weird about that one. Drawing young men. My wife won't let me have a female protege. I don't know why. A female can be as dumb as she wants. Could you give me your current reading of the hierarchy as of it stands right now?

Ooh, as of this minute? Yeah. Oh, it's really tough. I guess right now I think Giddim's at the top of it because of the game show. And then I think me and Jimmy switch back and forth, depending on what week it is. So you forgot about socks. Oh, well, then definitely socks number one.

Socks number one. Then depending on, you know, right now, it's probably get them. OK. And then me, then Jimmy. I think it's that one. So there's only three Robins? That's it?

Yeah, I've kind of taken those three young men under my wing and kind of tried to guide them in this topsy-turvy world And try to you know kind of like almost as if they were like adopted sons So so you're trying to guide these guys and offer the best advice as we speak one was getting a tattoo Possibly on his face Wife to kid possibly on his face. I mean, maybe I am the highest. I have a normal job, a wife, two kids. Oh, shit. Oh. So I can remind Troy that Walt's not on trial here.

So you think it was jealousy in the beginning? I think at the beginning, yeah. Keeps coming up. Keeps coming up. Interesting. Yeah, I think at the beginning it was a little, you know, I was the second son, you know, it was only get them at the beginning, then, you know, walk on a new shiny toy for a little bit. You tried to put some tarnish on me, I think at the beginning, but we've worked it. How so? How so? Oh, I think that, you know, in the beginning it was a little maybe sabotage, a little, little. He was shading you a little, you'd say? Yeah, I I think so could you give an example of sabotage oh I think there's so many I can't think of anything come on you gotta give us one

come on I think if you just uh if you listened over there some you know some little shots here and there jabs I don't know of anything specific but some jabs a hostile environment I would agree at the beginning at the beginning passive aggressive it's more just more aggressive more aggressive yeah more aggressive at the beginning at the beginning I will the beginning. Passive aggressive. It's more different. I think it was just more aggressive. More aggressive. More aggressive, yeah. More aggressive. At the beginning, at the beginning, I will say over the years, our relationship has changed.

We are, he's the godfather of my son, gives him presents. That can't be accurate. No, absolutely. He won it on a game. He won it, yeah. On the all new Sunday Jeff show. But he has taken. That sounds right.

Yeah, that sounds accurate. He has taken his responsibilities very seriously. Bought my son cowboy boots, a taco blanket, always asks these pictures. We saw a video today. So how hard is it for you to come here today and talk badly about your godfather while your son's godfather? It's very conflicting. I think it depends on the questions asked as far as what part of our relationship we're judging. Is it present or is it past? Culmination, I think it all kind of changes.

How many times have you been to the hospital because of him? Zero. Oh. Just wait. Give it time. When you listened to the show before and you heard him on, how'd you feel about him? I thought he was very quirky.

Uh-huh. And this is before I met him. Sure. Yeah, I would just say quirky, lovable. So you enjoyed his kind of- Yes, I was pro-Git-Em, yes. Was pro-Git-Em. I am pro-Git-Em.

I think for a while it was more lukewarm Git-Em, but I'm definitely pro-Git-Em now yes. Was Pro-Git'em. I am Pro-Git'em, I think for a while it was more Luke Warm-Git'em, but I'm definitely Pro-Git'em now. Is it hard for these witnesses to tell their true feelings when faced with Git'em? I feel like he feels so. No, not at all. I feel so. No.

Intimidated by the defendant. He's staring him down. Git'em has a right to face his accuser. Ah, we don't have enough room to face all of the accusers. What do you mean? What other questions do we have? Are there any stories that stand out for you? I think, let me see what stands out.

I mean, good, bad, what are we looking for? This is a prosecution asking, so. So, I'm gonna say the first time I met Giddlem, I was invited to the Sunday Jeff Hanukkah show. And even at the beginning, it was a very, very lukewarm at best. He said, Walt, there's a guy here who claims that he's here for the podcast,

not a guy that is here for the podcast. So I think right off the bat, he was a little combative when someone new stepped in. Gatekeeping. Yes. Oh, definitely. Oh yes. Yeah. I think that was, that's more as far from the prosecution standpoint, the

thing I could think of the most. Okay. And you're not going to remember anything for the defense, right? You don't have to answer that. No, no further questions. Tender to witness. Mr. Tom. You had said that the first time you ever met Getham, kind of standoffish, he wasn't so friendly.

That was your kind of take on that situation. Yes, I agree with that. You are aware that Getham suffers from a disability, correct? Oh boy. I mean, has it been proven? Well, just saying. Counselor, to be fair, all three of my sons, I thought, suffered from the same disability.

Oh, I agree. I agree with that. But none of us officially diagnosed, right? That's correct. None of us officially diagnosed, but all of us definitely. But I can tell. Oh, yeah. I can tell.

Lack of eye contact, social awkwardness. I think it just varies between us on different days. But you would have to admit that he does, in fact, suffer from a disability. Do we have any legal, like medical documentation of this? Are you doubting it? I haven't seen anything. He's told you, correct?

He tells me lots of things. You believe he's a liar then? That's a good question. I'd say he exaggerates sometimes, but not lying, no. Not lying, but in this particular situation you would agree that his behavior is consistent with the the the disability Asperger's yes right standoffish mm-hmm not great with new people that is true social cues may be a little difficult for him a lot of difficult for him yes if there's

a big room and lots of people in it as he's standing in the center He is not standing on the side. Yep, very similar to what you just described as your first interaction with him Well to be fair though, it was only me and him. So it wasn't a large group of people It was only just the two of us right but still meeting a new person Certainly would be put significant stress on someone who suffered from Asperger's. Hmm, it could. Or he could have just said, Walt, someone's here for you. I think the added part of the claim is more of the the negativity part. It's a negative connotation, isn't it? Correct, yes. It's a claims like, I already distrust this person. He could have just said, Walt,

there is a person here for you. So I think with the added already, it puts you in a negative light. Certainly it might put you in a negative light, but this is a new person for him. Somebody he's never interacted with before. He does not do well. I think that's established with new people. I agree with that.

How long did he treat you like you were new? Four and a half years? Okay. One thing that can't be denied, and you would agree to this, is that you are both vying for the love of the father you wish you had. What?

No! Disagree! Disagree! Disagree! No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. Your answer to that is no. No. No. No. No. No. No. Your answer to that is no. Correct.

Then why does every scrap of evidence indicate the opposite? No. No. No. No. I have a very good relationship with my father, very loving. I don't think I'm looking for an additional father part of it. Call him daddy.

Pass. Now, you would have to agree that when an individual like Giddem, who suffers from the disability, which he does, you would agree that having someone who he's comfortable with, who he's close with, is incredibly important and rare for him. Yes, I agree with that. That someone else coming into the picture might certainly force him to act or behave in ways

that maybe aren't nice, but is him trying to preserve that love that he's received. I would agree with that. I don't know how much love Walt was giving to get him in the early days of that time. It's called tough love. Oh, okay. There was plenty of that kind. There was plenty of of that time. It's called tough love. Oh, OK. There was plenty of that kind.

There was plenty of that, yeah. It's the only kind. Yeah. It's shockingly close. Gittem does give a lot of tough love. That is true. It's shockingly close to, I don't like you. And you would agree that under the guidance of Walt Flanagan,

Gittem has gone from the individual that would spend four days a week walking around the flea market. He truly has grown since that point in time, in more ways than one. OK, I will agree with that statement, yes. I think what this really comes down to, this animosity between you and Gittem, all hinges on Walt's affection.

I think at the beginning that's it. And I think in order to settle this for once and for all, we need to play a game. A new one! A new game. Now this game is called Walt's It All About, a game about the father they wish they had, Walt Flanagan. We keep saying that on how accurate that is.

It's very accurate. It's okay, Tom. It's court, you can't lie. Alright. So in order to play this game, we're going to ask trivia questions, all Walt-centric. Okay? And whomever answers the question, most questions correct, is the winner. Walt-centric, okay? And whomever answers the question, most questions correct is the winner,

and also wins the undying love of Walt Flanagan. Comes son number one. Now, just for clarification, we mentioned handicaps a lot. Do I get a handicap because I see him once every two months and he sees him nine hours a day and watches Love Boat with him for six of them? Sounds to me like he's making an effort here. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Touche. Wow. Or getting paid to. Yeah, that is.

Yeah, I mean, it's two ways to look at it, I guess. That's how much Walt wants him in his life. All right, without further ado, let's begin the game. There will be three questions, and you must answer as many of these correct as you can. The first question is, what comic book series does Walt think of when he wishes to suppress a climax? For this cube? I know the answer to this. Wow how I can't believe you guys know this yeah I've used this trick since you taught it to me it's just just you you're gonna get these three questions you can provide an answer for each of the three spider-man that's correct that's correct. That's correct. Amazing Spider-Man. I'd rather we shoot webs. Number two. What did a bunch of 16 to 17 year old girls

yell at Walt while he was running into a store? I know it is. I'm trying to remember. Run, forest, run. He needs to complete the full sentence. There was two girls, two different things. You got part one right. There was a part two of that. My son would know this. Ron Forrest would never forget this. Dude, you're going to be stuck with your own dad if you don't get this right.

He probably isn't even on TV. Ew. He got me. I don't know the second half. Okay, well let's not reveal it. Let's keep it what it was. Okay, we won't reveal it. We'll reveal it.

Well, since he doesn't know he gets it wrong But let's not reveal it. Let's see like how get him does when he gets his turn. He even knows that one Yeah, he might he's that good. I think the third one What concert was Walt at when he fell asleep and a security guard suspected he possibly was overdosing. So disappointing. No. Lights? That's incorrect.

It was a paramour, wasn't it? It wasn't lights? You're just making a fool out of yourself. Paramour was there. I think paramour was there, correct? Well, you want to ask again if you know, before we ask of his official ones, you want to ask and I are just making a fool out of you. I knew it was there. I knew it was there, correct? Well, you want to ask, you get him if he don't, before we ask of his official ones,

you want to ask of the ones he got wrong? Sure, get him. That number two question, what did a bunch of 16 to 17 year old girls yell at Walt while he was running into a store? It was run, forest, run, and then, am I allowed to curse? Fucking reach hard. Oh, I thought that was it, but I was like, oh, if I say that curse? Of course. Okay, uh, fucking reach hard.

Oh, I thought that was it, but I was like, oh, if I say that and that's not right, that's gonna look real bad. That's why I didn't say that. My hand to the skull, that was gonna be my answer, but I was like, if that's not it, that's bad to say. Everyone comes on TSD to improve their image. What about the Theraboy?

And number three, what concert was Walt at when he fell asleep and a security guard suspected he possibly was overdosing? I believe that was Mariana and the Diamonds. That's incredible, yes. Wow. They don't count though. Oh, they don't count. They don't count, but that's still impressive.

Yeah, that's still impressive. I got to hand it to them. That's impressive. Wow. Three questions for Get Him. Get Him, if you get two of these correct, you've won. Which would be he's won every challenge so far, correct? He has won every challenge so far.

He is a juggernaut. There's no doubt about it. Impressive. He won Daddy's Love the Most. And that's important here. There's nothing wrong with that. OK. What TV show prompted Walt to promise his mother that one day He would become a professional that wore a suit and worked in the big city

That would be the Bob Newhart show at Bob Newhart. That's correct Beeman over here is demon Incredible That's a pride. Question number three. He's beaming over here, he's beaming. Incredible. What three celebrities did Walt turn into the Bride of Svenguli? Whoa. That's a deep cut. It was Angie Dickinson,

Morgana the Kissing Bandit, and Coochie Coochie Charo. Yes! Wow! Holy shit. That's amazing. I mean, to be fair, how much do I talk about Angie Dickinson during the week?

And to think people doubted his photographic memory. This is incredible. Policewoman. And you've won, but just for good measure, let's go with the last question. Walt has given me, Walt has given... Name four- Who wrote these questions name four things that make Walt's engine run if you know what I mean can you name three out of the four I almost hope he doesn't get this one right. I would say. I'd feel a lot better if he did.

Well, Tom, why don't you take a stab at it. See, what do you think? Before even... Is it Angie Dickinson? Okay, give me another one. Angie, you say Angie? What else? Spider-Man.

That slows the engine down. Yeah, yeah. Let's see, it's not Toho, I don't know, I feel we talked about this recently. All right, no. Let him go. I was donning out like a bad son. Have you even met this guy?

No. No. Get him. I would say the greatest hockey team in the United States, the New Jersey Devils. Ding. His comics, specifically his Marvel masterworks. Ding. Um, his comics specifically, his Marvel masterworks. Ding.

Not his bound comics. And the greatest of all time, Tom Brady. Yeah, ding ding ding. Ding ding ding. What, did it four? What's that wrong? You had to get three out of four. What was the fourth one?

Let's see if he knows. I think he likes when it's fresh snow outside. That's amazing. Really? Are you fucking kidding me? Oh my God. He likes it when it's untouched. That's amazing.

It's almost like all the answers are on a piece of paper right next to him. Right next to the guy. Isn't that crazy? And his own lawyer is the one who's asking these. That's weird. I gotta tell you, that impressed me. That showed me something.

That's a callback, baby. Yeah, yeah. That's a guy who either loves the show or loves you. I don't know which, but there's definitely love there. It won me over a little bit. Judge getting swayed. Eh, not there yet, but you know, I'm trying to be you know partial and fair and when I see Performance like that. I have to hand it to him. It's pretty impressive pretty impressive. And what do you think about Tom?

Well, you know get him was impressive You know, I don't know you know he came in here he did his thing I'm a big Tom fan and And I think he's you know I think he's brought a lot to the show in the past for four and a half years Yeah, so, you know, that's what I think of Tom. I think I'd like to thank you for your service What else you thank you? Thank you Tom. Yeah, thank you guys a little bit more homework You want to tell anybody anybody out there to get mean with this guy? Everybody's like soft fucking footwear on this guy.

Giddem deserves to be back. Nobody's taking it to Giddem. Who do you want in the grant? Ming is next. Ming. He's the last prosecution witness. Give it to Ming. Yep.

We're good, right? We're not being called back? Nope. He want to go home to your wife and children? You gotta get a tattoo too. We're not getting called back, right? You said we're free to go? No, you can go home. Okay.

All right. Thank you, Tom. Hey, it's Brian Schell. Just want to congratulate Tesdy on 600 incredible episodes. Thanks for all the laughs, boys, and let's keep it going for another 600 and beyond. There's some spots that are so fucking painful. As soon as that needle hits a ear like that, it's like, oh, my God, I'm going to die. I'm going to die.

I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. Thanks for all the laughs boys and let's keep it going for another 600 and beyond There's some spots that are so fucking painful

Soon as that needle hits here like oh fuck I gotta sit through this for the next hour and change two hours three hours or whatever fucking may be but uh It's funny I get nervous about fucking walk into that room and fucking Doing any kind of show with those guys Fucking needle pressing into my flesh, putting fucking permanent ink into my body. Never. At this point, the prosecution would like to call Ming Chen to the stand.

Whoa. Ming Chen, everybody. Ming, please come on in. All right. Ming. Chief Dave Royalty right here. Please have a in. All right. Oh, okay. That's your camera right there that you're gonna be facing. Okay. Would you please put your hand on the skull? I left hand right hand.

Yeah, whatever. Okay. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth being Chen and nothing but the truth? I do. All right. Okay. Take your name for the truth. I do. All right. Okay. State your name for the record. My real God given name or? The truth, the truth. I, Cliff Chen, Cliff Ming Chen.

And Ming, you've been, you go by Ming, correct? I go by Ming, yes. And you've been with the show since the beginning. I've been with the show since its inception in 2009, not 2010. 2009. Before the beginning. Way before the beginning.

Yeah. And you have a lot of interaction with the defendant in this case. I've had multiple interactions. Many, many, many interactions with the subject in question, yes. And this is the prosecution asking the question, so we'd like to know some of those negative interactions. Negative interactions. I mean, does like shitty games count?

Sure, I think that's real important. Shitty games, yeah, that affects the quality of the podcast. Yeah, one that I think scarred a lot of people, one called Get Em Tration, which was beyond horrible, gave me nightmares. And I didn't- But to be fair, it was based on a real game though. The real game show. It was and made worse by-

Whoa, bombshell. This is the witness we've been waiting for. Yeah, awful. Awful. Actually bringing down the show. Almost ruined, definitely ruined my Christmas. And yeah, you know, we had the Grinch and then we had Get Em Tration above it. And I prefer to forget about that incident and that whole year as a matter of fact. Yeah.

Yeah, it was pretty awful. So it knocked out a whole year. Yeah, definitely. It ruined my Christmas for sure. I threw all my presents in trash, canceled it for my kids. It was awful. A lot of other people had bad Christmas because of that. People still talk about it, yes.

Yeah. It scarred them possibly for life, yes. Yeah. Think they'll ever get over it. I don't think so I don't think so and every time they have a problem. They're gonna think of who they're gonna think of about get him Steve Dave for him. Yes, they only have him to blame. Yeah, and so do you have you other any other interaction? Yeah, the guy does not put his shoes on, he takes his shoes off a lot. Yeah. I mean,

the smell, just the bare feet, not good. If I was an Asian person, you would encourage that. You would think so, you would think so, Baylor Troy, not in this case. And he came to my house, I'd ask him to put his shoes and leave them back on for sure. What do they say, if it would please the court,

he doesn't have any shoes on right now? That's true. They're not pleasing the court. If the shoes fit, you must not acquit. Yeah. So you think a little Git-Em goes a long ways? I think a little Git-Em, We don't need any get him. Wow. You're a professional expert podcaster.

Yes, that's documented. You've won awards. I've won awards, yes. I've won the Maverick Award. I've won several best of podcast awards. Yeah. Number one comedy podcast, 2007. I'm willing to accept him as an as an expert podcast with me. Let's let Johnny law get a chance I'm just saying I'm willing to accept based on his credentials and it would you have him on your show? uh, I Would yeah, I would as as I just in once once he's yeah Maybe just small doses not not as much as he's been on isn't it sure though. You've podcasted with Mike Zapsik for Almost ten years and you're 14 long years and you're willing to like kick people to the curb. I

Yes, you know, there's some people I should have kicked to the curb a long time ago I, yes. You know, there's some people I should have kicked to the curb a long time ago. Yeah. Oh. So you have a podcast now with Mike Zapcik, but you wouldn't have. No longer, but formerly, yeah.

You wouldn't have get him on the show, though, would you? Once is enough, small doses. And maybe it works good in small doses, but I know the argument is for him to be on at all, or more often, but very small doses. Once a year, twice a year, very small doses. Yeah. And it takes maybe six months to get over and then maybe have him on again? That would be a good, yeah.

Once every six months would be good. Wow. Wow. Damning testimony. No further questions. Oof. Damning testimony. No further questions. Oof. Damning. Fuck. How does he recover from this?

Mr. Chen? Yes. You've gone by a lot of different titles over your career, is that correct? Several titles, yes. I wear many hats, yes. Maverick? Yes. That was probably because of your association with Kevin Smith during that award ceremony. Whoa! Whoa! I believe they gave me the award before they gave his.

I got mine before his, so. Just because you were quick. He was the fucking grand finale. They did an up to about a quarter. Was there nepotism involved? Sure. But who have at this table not been benefited from nepotism? Perish the thought. Yes, who at this table has not benefited from nepotism?

At one point, you were the self-proclaimed king of podcasting? I don't know if I ever proclaimed that myself. I would imagine that was for quantity not quality I feel quality is relative and up to the individual Person listening to the podcast I say 14 years and over thousands of episodes would prove otherwise. Yeah, I've been taking shits for 35 years, but I don't think anyone wants to watch. Whoa! Never seen a courtroom like this.

Now we're talking. I'm Asian, I think some of my brothers in China and Japan would say otherwise. I feel like you could make even better living if you posted those on other websites that I won't mention. This is, the not-so-Super Bowl made him an expert about that as well. True, true.

Yeah, yeah, I'm a man. I'm a man who's, yes, seen a lot of shit. But you see, Ming, there's one particular title that I think we should dive into a little bit more. Okay. And that's Fibber McChenn. Okay. I episode.

You got the name Fibber McChenn because you have a tendency of maybe to exaggerate things. Who at this table has not exaggerated a thing or two? Fair point, but in this case, you would agree that maybe you do from time to time. Sure. Perfect. Sure.

To create a better podcast, sure, I'll exaggerate a small, small, little white lies will never harm anybody. See, I have to register surprise here when you say that, get him Steve Dave ruined your Christmas. Mine and other people's, yes. But you have a history of having Christmas

as ruined by your parents, isn't that correct? Exactly. Which is why this is so bad. This game show is so bad, it truly ruined my Christmas. And I'm a man who knows about ruined Christmases. Now I can't help but think though that that might have been some exaggeration for the benefit of this podcast.

If you wanna pin that on me, absolutely, but ask positive millions of other, tell them Steve David listeners how they feel and they would agree. I assure you there's not millions. Well hey man, wait. We can attest to that. We're not roguing. Objection, your honor man, wait. We can attest to that. We're not Rogan.

Objection, Your Honor. Sustained, yeah. Now, isn't it true, though, that one of the greatest Christmas moments in the history of Tell Them Steve Dave Christmases came when Get Them Steve Dave enthroned you for the most depressing Christmas on his, in record. Most memorable moment? I think that might have been when I lost Christmas 2014 and had to get a permanent mark on my body

to dedicate and remember this moment. I, yeah, I, listen that was remember this moment. Listen, that was a depressing moment. Can we see the two? Could you enter that into? Oh yeah, enter into the room. Yes, I enter exhibit. Yeah, can we see that? Yes.

Right there, your honor. Yeah, yeah. There we go. Submitted into evidence. Yeah, yeah, yeah submitted submitted its evidence Yes a scar so bad it's is now permanent Those does get him of any tell him Steve Dave tattoos just wondering I haven't I haven't done it. No, you haven't done a body scan No, no tattoos at all several That's awful because several people do. I do. Jimmy has multiple.

That's what I'm saying. Get one right now. Yeah, so I refute that statement. I don't believe that was one of the most memorable Christmas moments ever. Well, one thing I do know about you is that you're very competitive. I can be competitive. I don't like to lose. Don't like to lose. Although I lose all the time here, so what do I think?

And you were talking about games being a big part of the Tom, Steve, Dave podcast. Yes, they make up pretty much all the big events. Yes. A great game can lift a podcast up to levels that it never imagined. Sure. A bad game can ruin a podcast. Or Christmas, yes. Or Christmas. But this time, I would like to offer up as a game to be played between Ming and Get Him Steve Dave, the classic Dyslexia.

Whoa. Oh no. Classic? Okay. See, as my client- You're playing with fire, counselor. I'm playing with fire. With his massive intellect,

is one of the only members of the Tell Him Steve Dave town who can play the game the way Walt envisioned it be played Okay, wait, this is true That this is serving to prove what? It's serving to prove that get him Steve Dave is on such a wavelength with Walt Flanagan That it only is in his incorporation into the show and incorporation into the games is the only thing that allows these games to move forward. If it were up to some of the other members of the podcast,

we'd be stalled. Wow. Okay. Now he's insulting the justices. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I'm gonna take a little sidebar here. You're allowed to home, lawyers and contempt. Oh, we may, we may, you know.

We may be doing a day or two in jail. All right, I just wanna issue a warning to the counselors to please, please, any criticism of the judges, just keep to yourself. We don't want to hear it. We don't want to hear it. Your Honor, especially Judge Quinn and Honorable Johnson, you're going to allow this to happen. Dyslexia.

We're giving away. Dyslexia. We're giving away. Dyslexia. Our hands are tied. Yeah. Yeah. We gotta, you know, we gotta follow this case down every dirty, ruddy, fucking shitty road that we go on. We have to follow it.

Okay, I mean, I would argue dyslexia is possibly the worst game ever created, but that's for another trial, I believe. Sustained. Sustained. We'll be doing three clues the person who gets the Most so two out of three is what we're shooting for here. We'll win the game

Okay, both players can answer Simultaneously right okay, so it's not one clue for you and one clue for you It's gonna be one clue and the first person to get that answer Wins that wins that point. That was this classic dyslexia where the first and second word are reversed But this is the purest form So I like to hear I know you've played at home What's hoping to never play again, but okay. I'm so sorry, but... So whoever says it first gets the point.

Gets the point. The first person that can get two correct is the winner. So you have to say, you're saying it backwards. Saying it backwards and then they have to guess. Now the theme of this is going to be law or courtroom based. So without further ado. court based. It's law or Wow. Now how did he get that? What the hell? Yeah, what is that? What is that? What? Break it down.

Order, neglect, the opposite of neglect is to court. So if you neglect someone, but if you, you're like courting Emily, I like dating them, or trying to get into a relationship, the opposite of that is obviously in, and dis, or the opposite of dis-raise order. You get that, Ming? No, isn't this why you're trying to, get that make no people are trying to keep off the show plays well because he plays this well and he was so like oh

yeah he thinks laterally oh that was so obvious how could you guys get get that you're right all right I'll keep going sir. We'll move to the next one. Which if Gidham gets it, he wins? He wins. He wins what? Gets back on the show. He wins the, he wins the, who wins this particular challenge?

Okay. This witness. The second one is, judge Asian curse. Oh no. Judge Asian curse. What do you got? Hung jury. That's correct. How? Well, the opposite of judge is the jury. That's that's the other part in the case.

And Asian curse is like William Hung, who was this. Well, the opposite of judge is the jury. That's the other part in the case. And Asian curse is like William Hung, who was this, I don't know if you remember him from the discharging song? That's not at all, huh? I think the Asian curse is he's a little dick, right? Yeah, that's the Asian curse. I think the Asian curse has nothing to do with William Hung. Oh.

That's the Asian curse. Okay. Yeah. Well, he stumbled upon it. Well, he's gone too, so he is the winner. Of what? He's bested you. He's bested you.

In dyslexia. He's showing his prowess in the game. Wow, and that proves he should get back on, your honors? Well, I don't think it proves he should get back on, it's because it's not that alone. We've had other witnesses. I think it proves that, get back on, your honors? Well, I don't think it proves he should get back on. It's because it's not that alone. We've had other witnesses. I think it proves that, like you say, his mind is a little bit closer to the show

than another person's might be, or at least with Walt in the same train of thought, right? Put it so aptly, your honor. Mm-hmm. Yeah. But Ming, I want to thank you for coming. Thank you for your involvement in TSD history, 600 episodes. Couldn't have got there without you.

And you brought something, a gift for us today, right? I did. I felt that if I'm going to give a testimony, I can only give it in the only way. He looks bewildered. Are you drunk? No. You don't know what the fuck just happened?

No. One minute I'm not. You don't know what the fuck just happened? No. Like, I... One minute and I'm playing dyslexia. Yeah, but yeah, I thought it was brought here to bring a testimony, either for or against Gim, Steve, Dave, returning to the show. But yeah, then you shat the band on dyslexia. I did, but I felt that the only way I could do that

is do it in the purest Ming-Chen form, that'd be in the form of a rap. Whoa. All right. The witness has a statement. The witness has a statement. If I may enter the room. We allow you to read it in court, right?

Obviously. Yes, would you like to stand up, or would you like to sit and do it? I- He is standing up. I will stand then. I will stand. Good man.

Ladies and gentlemen of the court, I enter this as my testimony. Yo what, yo what's up to the anthill? Welcome to the trial of the century, episode 600, yo. There's a maverick here and I got something to say. Yo, I was the most hated man in testy town But that was all before you all met this clown It started way back when he stole your podcast name and it really should have ended when he made that shitty game

Cuz get him Trish and sucked and you should have seen the light but won't won't let this dumbass go without a courtroom fight He brings nothing to the table. He talks too much jive. He interrupts way too much. He never make top five. Top five! Top five! Top five! Top five!

Top five! It's hot! Every time to the show, don't wanna hear the zip-o. Just let his dumbass go, leave him with his zip-os. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Every time I hear his voice, it throws me for a loop. I'd rather go sell comics or look at bowls of poop. Yo, you caught a lot of fire, a lot of heat from the town. It's no small wonder that your fucking house burned down. Oh. Yo, we ain't worthy of your Chinese buffet. Yo, put your fucking shoes back on and just walk away. Yo, 148, he's the guy you really hate.

Yo, 148, cause you ain't that great. Yo, 148, you got a lump on your hand. Yo, 148, you only got one fan. Oh! Whoa, any fan. Oh! Oh! There's more?

When you hear him on every show, you know that ain't right. So stop butting in, because you pot worse than Mike. Oh! Oh! Oh! To 600 Nuts, we had a lot of good times. So when do I get to make out with Amanda Bynes? So give him a brief appearance every now and then.

But here's my final verdict, 100% more Ming Chen. Oh! Yeah! Yeah! Wow. It's Manchus! Wow. every now and then, but here's my final verdict, 100% more Ming-Chen. Oh! Yeah! Yeah! Wow. It's anxious! Wow.

Demonstrating why he means what he means to Tell him Steve, Dave. I'd have to honestly say, I think out of all the guests we've had ever, he might be the most important to the show, I think. Ming-Chen might be. Yes, there was an argument to be made, yes. Yeah, yeah. His old attorney was applauding him. I love Ming-Chen. I went after him because I

felt like he was the only person I could really go after. Wow. Yeah yeah listen I was the most hated man tell him Steve Davetown. Why are? I feel, I caught a lot of heat. A lot of heat, a lot of hate. I think everybody's always loved you. Pretty universally. Have you been drinking? No. Are we serving sake out there?

What's going on out there? No, no sake to me, that comes later. But, yeah, there's a man even more hated now. And may God have mercy on his soul. Wow. Any further questions for this witness? No, thank you. You're dismissed with the gratitude of the court.

I would say Ming, thank you. Thank you for everything you've brought to us. You're welcome. We love you. And in fact, I think it should be said that if it wasn't for Ming-Jen, we wouldn't have met. None of us would have met. Well, you guys would have met, but we wouldn't have met. Yeah, yeah. We wouldn't have brought us together, we wouldn't have met. None of us would have met. Well, you guys would have met, but we wouldn't have met. Yeah, yeah.

Wouldn't have brought us together, so thank you, Min. Very important. Oh, because you filled the website? Yeah. Yeah. There's no us without him. Chinese know-how brought us together. Thank you, Min Chen.

I'm sure Kev never would have gotten on the internet without Min Chen. Ha ha ha ha. Take it away. Ha ha ha ha. We'll never know. We'll never know. We'll never know. We'll never know. We don't have to know.

So is that rap going to spark one of those East Coast, West Coast rivalries between Red Bank and wherever you're at? And Holmdel? It's a drive-by shooting this morning in Holmdel. Shared universe. East Coast, West Coast didn't end very well, so no, I hope that doesn't happen. I think we can't, can't we all just get along? Yeah, we all know he's got a great sense of humor.

I'm sure he'll take it in stride. Yeah, of course. I'd like to point out another person brought up the web, the web name debacle. That's I think every single witness so far has brought that up, you know? Never forget. I think it's reaching for straws though.

I don't think it's that much of a violation or that much of a, and something that should be elevated to the status it's become. I know, this word on the street that I've heard a lot is it's Gideon's original sin. You know? It's, it's...

What street are you on? You gotta, hey, a lot of hubbub, a lot of chatter saying this is original sin. Like you can't just wash that away easily. All right, well thank you, Ming Chen. Of course. Yeah, thanks, Ming. Of course.

Arnold, being here at Maverick, out, yo. All right, Walt Q. Congratulations on 600 episodes. May God grant you many more. Hopefully, I'll be around for episode 666. Congratulations, and I'll see you soon. At this time, the prosecution rests. All right, wow. How do you guys feel about the case thus far? Ming Chen, the prosecution rests. All right. Wow. How do you guys feel about the case thus far?

Ming Chen, the most damaging witness, I thought. Yeah. But I still don't think anybody's laid a glove on him. No, man. I disagree. I think that URL thing is going to weigh more heavily than you anticipate. If that's his biggest faux pas in the history, you would tell him Steve Dave?

It's not. I think, yeah, I think it's going to have to be overlooked. I mean, it's not like he kept it. He kept his word. Yeah, he hedged and hemmed a little bit, but at the end of the day, he gave the domain back to us. Well, for over twice the original agreed upon price. But you know, he could have even made even more of that though, if you're being honest.

He could have made it. He has, he made a career out of it. What do you think Troy? I mean, Gettym's foundation in this entire world was trying to take money from you guys. And Jimmy was introduced giving you guys thousands of dollars. So there's two types of personalities here. Listen, I love Get-Em, so we're not gonna try and sway the judges at all.

And also, because allegedly I'm a bailiff, so I shouldn't be even doing this to a Get-Whit. Well, you're gonna get called to the witness stand. Okay, okay. So I'll reserve my statements till I'm understand. Brian, how you thinking? I don't know. It seems to me that a lot of... Well, first, if I were to get him, I would feel a little bad because every witness has come up,

and he's like, he's all right, I guess. Well, they're all prosecutors. Except for Jimmy, who, like, can you take him that seriously because he loves everybody and everything? Jimmy's got battered wife syndrome, right? He really does. Yeah, he's like, he treated me like shit. Fuck, I don't care. I fucking love the guy. him that seriously because he loves everybody and everything. Jimmy's got battered wife syndrome, right? He really does. Yeah, he's like, he treated me like,

shit, fuck, I don't care. I fucking love the guy. But it seems to me that a lot of the witnesses' statements are personal, not how they affect the show. That's what we're here for today. All right. Not to be like, what are our personal differences with... That is a great point. That is a good point. What do you think? Well, you feel... I feel like no one's laid a glove on my man yet. I feel like he's skating through this.

The games are impressive, I gotta say. I think you could... Some might call this a kangaroo court. No. Everything that's going on here is a mockery. It's a mockery of the justice system. He's got a fair shake. He's got a fair shake. I don't know. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. It really is also dependent upon the listeners.

I'm sure they're outraged that we even did this. They probably are. There's a certain segment that's going to be like, why the fuck did they even have a fucking trial? Why the fuck can't they just kick him off? He sucks. I think those people should be considered unhurt, is all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying.

Now we move to the defense's case. Right. And our first witness will be Frank Five. Falling in, Frank Five. There he is. All right, Frank Five. There he is. All right, Frank. I think he's the first witness everybody applauded when he walked in. He's got that face. Did you put your hand on the skull? You swear to tell the truth? Nothing but the truth. So help you God. I do. Mr. Five,

what a pleasure it is to be talking to you today Thank you Now if you wouldn't mind can you tell us a little bit about your history and how you became? You know involved with telling Steve Dave so a little more than close to 15 years ago I Skipped out on my family for a Thanksgiving holiday and drove down to watch the recording. The rest is history. And since then, you've been part of the podcast, part of the Patreon?

Yes. And during that time, did you say that you've had quite a bit of exposure to get them? I have. And you're a die-hard listener Correct Did you tell? for the benefit of Did you tell for the benefit of the court here Give some examples of how you believe get him has contributed to the show

Sure, um What does everybody look like they don't know why their ears are open? Every person is like, oh, really? I need something else. So he contributes a great deal. First of all, he definitely helps out as far as setting up the room. He is great as far as the audio components. If there's anything that needs to be fact checked, whether it's asked for or not, he is there with the answers. He is PESD's Girl Friday, I would say,

where he will do anything in fact we did a show where we were Recreating the bigfoot scene and Gidham was instrumental in the safety and the preparation for the for that shoe pyrotechnics pyrotechnics How well how was he responsible for the safety he wore a helmet He also carried the the extinguisher in case something were to happen like in case I caught on fire Yeah

He was definitely needed so all those things you mentioned though, those are behind the scenes things. He is a very big behind the scenes person. On the show. On the show. No, but how do you feel about him on the show? As a cast member of the show. He's good. Yeah.

Yeah, it is again. That voice getting high. That's happened. He's all right, he's good. He's worse. He's good, He's worse. He's good. I love him.

I love Gittem. You do remember Gittem Steve Dave, you know, taking hours to get into that skin tight green suit, right? On multiple occasions? Yes, I do. And he was willing to do it. Right. What about the time we did the Hulk?

Right. And he took his shirt off. He took his shirt off even though he wasn't asked. He did himself green, shaved, when we all know how important that beard was to him, shaved just for the show. He did that just for the show. You say that Gidham has obitually gone over and above when it comes to his responsibilities on the show Absolutely, I would say get him has done everything that has ever been asked of him for the show To the best of his ability except yeah, I will have to say I gotta be honest. This is a courtroom

He wouldn't eat chocolate pudding out of a diaper. I Was a dark day. I missed that episode. Yeah. That's the only time I ever heard him say like, I'm not going to do that. I'm not doing that. It's like it was real food, it's pudding. And a clean diaper too.

Jimmy the Hair Guy would have done that, right? Jimmy the Hair Guy would eat the real stuff out of a real diaper. I think he might have eaten the real stuff out of a dirty diaper if we asked him to. We would never will. So in terms of useful to the show, you would say that Jimmy the Hair Guy fills

that same sort of role. And perhaps would even do it better, because he'd eat out of the diaper. I don't know in my limited. I remind remind you you're on the road I am no I would say that I don't know how Jimmy would be as far as the electronics would be the information would be I have a very important question for this man right here would you rather have get him working pyrotechnics when you were... you could have went up in flames or would you have Jimmy? I'm answering honestly, Giddem. Damn it, but yeah, I would trust Giddem over Jimmy there, guy.

That's not the same, Jimmy. No, no, no. Frank, I want to play a little game with you. You may be familiar with the game Professor Impressor. It was developed for you. It was. We did it once. Never to be seen again. Let's have it at St. Claude. The listeners are in court. Okay.

Now before you came here, I asked that you prepare an alternative history on a topic, correct? Correct. That could then be evaluated. Now if you wouldn't mind, I'm gonna read the topic out and I'd like for you to read out what you believe the alternative history would have been. So the topic for Frank is what happens to Gittem if he does not meet the TESD guys? I want you to picture this. It's the early 2000s. The alarm clock switches on playing the Dells hit rolling in the deep.

A young Zwelt Gidham rises from his bed and begins his morning ritual slash hobby of purchasing web domains to flip for profit. Every witness, every witness, and you don't think that it has a bearing on the case? I don't, again, if that's his biggest transgression against us, boy, I mean... Just saying. I don't think it rises to the level that you think it does. Well, unfortunately, I'm one of the judges.

So it rises to exactly where I think it goes. Unfortunately, on this day, a car accident involving a telephone pole occurred, and Gittem did not have internet service. Undaunted, he begins his usual morning exercises of lifting weights and calisthenics. He puts on his freshly pressed security uniform, and he heads to the racetrack to begin his shift. His attention to detail and strict adherence to the rules has him quickly rising through the ranks at the track, and he soon is in demand for freelance work

on his days off. One event in particular magnifies this unshakable work ethic. While working security for the Super Bowl, a gentleman tries to enter the field without proper credentials. Gittem holds firm and will not allow the gentleman to enter, instructing him to go through the proper entrance like everyone else. The man exclaimed that he was actor Rob Riggle. But steely-eyed Giddam looks him dead in the eye and says there's no

two-tiered justice system on his watch. Deflated, Rob Riggle leaves and goes around to the stadium's other entrance. Shortly after, a man approaches Giddam and asks if he truly believes that justice should be fair for all. Gittem raises his mirrored sunglasses and says, absolutely. This man was CIA Director David Petraeus, who was at the game to honor the service people at the pregame show. Immediately, Gittem is recruited by Petraeus to enter the CIA. Gittem continues to throw himself into his work and becomes one of the most

decorated CIA officers in the agency's history. Are you saying CIA or CI8? CI8. Gittem is responsible for pinpointing Osama Bin Laden's location through his Reddit username. And as part of SEAL Team 6, was the first to breach Bin Laden's compound and fire the fatal shot to avenge America. Back in the States, the highly decorated and in-demand Gittem is asked to assist the Secret Service for a charity event

that is hosting the current and former presidents of the United States. Gittem is assigned to shadow Jenna Bush. The two immediately bond over their hatred of Dakota Fanning. Is that true she hates Dakota Fan to failing? Yes. For this, yes. Why do we drag Rob Riggle into this? That really happened, Drew. He was a Marine. So on a day that there... That was Lee Harvey Oswald. Yeah.

Oh, no, no, no. Lee Harvey Oswald shot the president, maybe. Rob Riggle just tried to walk onto a field. But reality, that's where it splits because Gaetan really did stop Rob Riegel just tried to walk onto a field. But reality, that's where it splits because Gatam really did stop Rob Riegel and it's one of his proudest moments. Rob Riegel's a friend of mine. I don't find that. I think he should get special treatment.

I ain't got to answer that. No, the two-two justice system. So while he's shadowing Jenna Bush, a romantic relationship begins. They are married in a private ceremony attended by British royalty, heads of state, and many celebrities. Gittem retires from the CIA and he, Jenna, and their two sons, David and Stephen, move to Crawford, Texas to be closer to his father-in-law. Shortly after, Gittem becomes a New York Times best-selling

author after publishing his memoir, I Will Never Clock Out. A screenplay is currently in the works with Kevin Dillon signed on to play the title. Wow. That was moving. I think it's safe to say that America has lost a hero. Yeah. And that was incredible. Did they? Because Jenna Bush got married anyway

and somebody else killed Ben Laden. Did we lose anything? We're impressed, huh? Besides a book? That's just one alternate history, though. OK. Yeah. All right.

So his life would have been better if he hadn't been on Tell him Steve Day. Clearly. Surely. Do you think that all sounds better than what he's currently doing? Yeah. Right. So some should argue that Tell him Steve Day Clearly. Do you think that all sounds better than what he's currently doing? Yeah.

Right. So some should argue that Thomas V. Dave's in the way of his success and happiness. If anything, we as his friends would be doing him a favor by cutting him loose. We could make that argument. But do you want to hear maybe Gittem's alternate universe view of how you would be today without a Gittem in your life? I would love to hear that. I would love to hear that.

And me? I would hold that in weight. I'd weight that in my decision making. Well, Gittem, we're here to do. This is Professor Impressor, so we have to decide the judges who gave the better alternate history. Yeah. Gittem, would you please give your alternate history of what would happen if you had never

met, if the Tell'em Steve Daves guys had never met you? Gittem, Steve Daves. Honorable Justices, this what if TSD and Gittem never cross paths scenario was very difficult to write. I did my best to come up with what I believe is the most likely hypothesis on what TESD would look like today without my involvement of any kind. It is my belief that TESD would have ended sometime

between 2014 and 2015. Running out of energy and the demands of TV shows, CBM filming its fourth season, and Jokers finishing seasons three going on to four, out at Energy and the demands of TV shows, CBM filming its fourth season and Joker's finishing seasons three going on to four. The guys would find they would meet less and less until they just stopped meeting altogether. No big finale, no big goodbyes. It ends not with a bang, but a whimper, like a 50-year-old trying to relieve his high school sports days. It's my belief that TSD was desperately missing a muse.

A muse to be the focal point of the cover of albums. A muse to provide stories of flea marketing. A muse to talk to aging rock stars about things like being on web cameras drunk reading stories. Bottle dumps, directing traffic while performing karate, or soothing savage beasts with his dulcet tones. A muse willing to become a floating pumpkin head, or dressed as a mistress of the night, amongst many, many other examples.

Now, I want to stress, podcasts are a dime a dozen. Heck, Ming's been on a dozen this week. The show not carrying on isn't the tragedy. The tragedy is what befell the guys after the pod went silent. Ryan, without the podcast, guests on a few episodes of the Mike and Ming Smooring Smough before limping away permanently from podcasting.

He retreats to his parents' basement and becomes a recluse, like Howard Hughes, except only watching vulgar over and over again and urinating in Suzanne's empties. He passes away from an overdose, but his common-law wife Suzanne never alerts anyone, keeps cashing his residuals and government checks, and his remains go undiscovered for seven years until one day a water line breaks in the basement and a rookie Firefighter has to go turn the water off sees his mom his mom by skeleton floating by

Q after the death of TSD Continues on a practical jokers when he comes into possession of a haunted Zippo, instead of giving it away, he keeps it for himself. Hugh is horribly disfigured in a fire. They try to soldier on, but the mere sight of Hugh on TV makes children cry, so True TV cancels the show. As for Walt, having no outlet to express himself artistically or mentor young men he begins to spend He begins to spend more and more time alone watching old 1970s television shows he finally broke the plastic wrap on

He grows increasingly unfulfilled and unsatisfied He is found in his car on the side of a desolate road in Menalpen having having taken his own life by his own hand using a shattered Doris Day DVD to go down the river and not across the street. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Things will never be okay. Wow. It's dark. He really did.

He had me at my head floating in a basement. After being dead seven years, too. Yeah. Wow. I mean, he nailed how it probably would have went. I did forget that I unloaded that haunted lighter on him and his house burned down immediately thereafter. I did forget about that. And you would have been holding onto that that lighter with no one to give it to you. That's what

I mean, yeah. I mean, I think I only got the lighter because it was a gift for him, but, you know, neither here nor there. Yeah. It was fate, though, probably for you to hold that lighter, though. Can't argue that. Can't argue that. Full of a lot of callbacks. Yeah. That's good. That's good. So do you think the professor or the savant? We gotta call them that. They're impressed more with their thesis. I mean, I thought before the judge's way in, Troy. I mean, Ginnem's scenario was so vivid and depressing. It can only be true.

And like Bryce said, the part about Suzanne not reporting your death. That's happening. 100%. I mean, but is okay. Go ahead. I'll, I'll, I'll weigh in, but go ahead. Q, what did you, what do you think? One? I gotta give it to get them, man.

I do. It was, it was, that was. While amusing and well written, fantastic. Yes, it was not doing any of that, whereas everything he said, aside from you killing yourself, it's more outlandish that he marries Jeb Bush. Jeb Bush or more than I kill myself because I don't know him. Yeah, I mean, look, they both ventured into it. Just because I don't know him, I've

taken my own life, my family, my kids. That's what he's saying. I think, look, they both ventured into the fantastical. But I felt like all great fiction is a grounding in truth truth and I felt that get him found the truth of it more than the professor did You know how he was at the security guy, right you know what he did there I know I mean also Reels one of the nicest guys in the world to like be a dick to him is kind of like fuck I don't is it being a dick just to follow the rules the guy was obviously there as a guest

He's a marine there for fight for his rules and there's rules. Yeah Yeah, you know, you know, you gotta know the rule like a man who wants the rules Ben I just you know reals a hero so to see this guy tell him not to walk on the field, I don't like it. But he knew the hero there, he won for me. Ryan? Yeah, I enjoyed Frank's. There were some twists and turns in there

that I really liked. But as far as nailing a portrait of a very grim existence without someone, I think he did it. I think he impressed. So our lives would be? Well, I wouldn't even be around. And Q would be disfigured. I'd be disfigured.

I'd look like, fuck, and the man would have a face. You two would be dead. Wow. Yeah, dark, dark. I too, I mean, I think Frank's was too bright-eyed and bushy-ed. Yeah. And I don't like that I killed myself, but I do like the effort though. Got to give it to get him.

Get him, Steve Dave, professor, impressor. Wow. Welcome back, Frank. Frank Five. I want to take you back to 2021, May 5th. You remember that day? You have to be a little more specific. Frank five day. There's a lot of days. You know Frank five day. Frank five day, yes. I remember that was a great day. You remember that? I do remember that. And on that day was there anything that was uh get him attainment so to

speak? Well not necessarily get him attainment but stuff he did that was not so entertaining for you. From what I recall, get him was, I'll remind you under oath, tastic at what he did. I don't recall. If. I think he did a great job. OK, you don't really recall any part of that day that he gave out some things he wasn't supposed to give out or?

I think there might've been a mix up slightly with the times for people to come back to get an autograph. Yeah, and gave everybody them? Possibly. Yeah? And would you consider? I'm going to direct the witness to be clear. Did he sound evasive to you?

He sounds a little evasive to me. He sounds like he doesn't want to say something. We don't want to hold you in contempt. Are we talking about the tickets that he gave out to the people so they didn't have to stand in line? Yes. Was that a problem for you? Not for me.

Yeah. Yeah. Problem at all. Could be. What happened? I'm unclear as to what happened. So apparently people were coming in from all over the country to Frank Five Day and they were going to meet us, get a

photo, have an autograph and they stood in line starting at 5 a.m. to receive tickets to come back at specific times so that they didn't have to wait in the line. And apparently there were no numbers as far as times to come back that were handed to the fans. So they didn't know when to come back. So you had people that were waiting in line at 5 a.m. who were now having to come back at like 3.30 when they should have probably been first. Because there were no times stamped on the tickets.

In fact, are you still having these people come to your house asking for these tickets? Um, I wouldn't say come to my house, but I would say that it is still mentioned from time to time to me. I have one of those tickets right here. Am I still entitled to it? If there is no expiration date on it, I would be more than happy to sign it for you. All right. Well, I'll tell you when to come back when we're done with this. All right. I don't believe having further questions to this man. Wow.

Devastating. Damning. Damning testimony. We'd like to thank you for your contributions to Tell'em Steve-Dave over the past 10 years you've been involved. More. Yeah. It's been a long time. Yeah, Frank number five, but I think it's safe to say number one Frank at people's heart. Oh yeah. Thank you. Thank you Frank. 600 episodes. Tell them Steve, Dave, 600 is astronomical the things that have to go right. Friends gotta not hate each other. Fans gotta not turn on the show. 600 episodes is an incredible achievement.

Congratulations I love you guys. Words cannot express how important Tell them Steve Dave has been to my life. Those stupid ass MeUndies commercials gave me the confidence to be a creator and to put things out in the world and to have people hate it and to have people love it. It's why I went to college, just graduated film school, summa cum laude, Honors College from Middle Tennessee State. I'm out there creating.

I'm creating and that's what keeps me happy and healthy and that has a lot to do with you guys. So Brian, Brian and Walt and the entire team behind making Tell Them Steve Dave, you know who you are. Thank you. Congratulations. 600. Like that's fucking, that's pretty impressive. Especially for fucking three white guys from the north. Peace. At this time, the defense calls Tim the Record Store Clerk to the stand. Ooh, Tim. A record store clerk.

Come on in, buddy. All right. Here he is. Where am I sitting? Right here, right here. A record star. Come on in, buddy. All right. Here he is. Where am I sitting? Right here, right here. Please. Jesus. Please put your, uh, Fucking impose it.

Put your nerve wracking, right? Put your hand on the skull. Do you swear to tell the truth? Nothing but the truth, so I hope you got it. I do. Hi, Tim. How are you today? OK.

Tim, I want to talk to you a little bit about the gentleman sitting here, Get'em Steve Dave. Now, can you tell us a little bit about your history with the podcast in general? I do the PPP stuff and some other shit. Can you please explain what PPP is for those in the audience who may not? Posers, purveyors, and some other P. You're so close. I don't know. I just always call it PPP.

I've been doing it for years. Put on the show for years. It's a tough one to remember, isn't it? It is. Have you been drinking? Not as much as I should have been. Purveyors, posers, and playlists. What he said.

Purveyors, posers, and playlists. Yeah. Right. Now, I noticed that you neglected to say that you're on the kiss pod. Is that because you're embarrassed or? Oh,ers, and playlists. What he said. Pervayers, posers, and playlists. Yeah. Right. Now I noticed that you neglected to say that you're on the kiss pod. Is that because you're embarrassed or? Oh, no, no, no, no. It's right there. It's literally right above your head.

I'm not amazed freely on that. I'm not, you know. But I'm on the kiss pod. Now in that capacity, you have brushed up against Gittem more than a couple times. Yes. And you've heard some of the stuff that Gittem has talked about and contributed on the show. Yes. Could you point out one or two examples?

Could you point out one or two examples of when you believe Gittem was an asset to tell him Steve did? Intentionally or unintentionally? Either works. Well, he did a PPP and he was fucking terrible. And then he sang a version of Nine Inch Nails closer. ["Nine Inch Nails"] closer. You let me complicate you Help me, I broke apart my insides Help me, I've got no soul to sell

Help me, the only thing that works for me Help me get away from myself I wanna fuck you like an animal I wanna feel you from the inside I wanna fuck you like an animal My whole existence is flawed. You get me closer to God. And it was such a fucking abomination. But it was really good for like, you know, it was interesting and it was funny. So I think it was unintentional.

I think his qualities are he's like a wild card and, um, you know, sometimes it's shit and sometimes it's like shit. It's always shit, but So it's shitty? It's always shit. It's always shit. It's always shit, but then it's like, oh, he's crawling over the sidebar. Oh, like, uh. Unfunny shit. Uh-oh.

Yes, you did do that. I'm not gonna bring that up. Okay. Okay. Tell him about it to his child. He can't stop himself. He can't fucking stop himself. He's not humble anymore.

I know. For another witness. OK. Now, whether or not the intention is to be good or bad at something, really what we care about here is the result. Isn't that correct? You guys can hear them. I guess, sure.

Is it funny or is it not funny? Right, OK. And when Gitem did that cover of Nine Inch Nails, did you think that was funny? Yes, not the way he intended it, but to me I thought it was funny. It was embarrassing. It was fucking, like I just wanted to fucking

rip my skin off. Disturbing? Yeah, disturbing. I would say that. Do you think it would turn listeners off or they would embrace it? No, they would embrace it as like, what's this crazy motherfucker going to do next? So in general, when it comes to even the terrible things that Gittum does, it does add to the show. Yes.

You mentioned earlier that you were the host of Purveyors, Posers, and Playlists. Yes. Well, I'm not the host. I'm honored. No, you're the... It's your show. I'm the host. Really? It is. I'm gonna pay raise.

The audio speaks real. Wow, okay. Well, we walked the puppet master. I'm just there. So, since waltzed the puppet master. I'm just there. So since you were the host of purveyors, posers, and playlists, I thought we'd play a little impromptu game here right now. Tim, could you tell?

So wait a minute. Hold on. For the first time ever, the record star clerk is going to play purveyors, posers, and playlists. He's going to provide a playlist and we're going to get to judge his ass for once? Oh wow. This is uncrusty. Wow. This is episode 600.

This is it. I'm fucking grabbing your ass. Pulling out the big guns now. Because as has happened before, right Tim, you've never been judged on your selections. If I knew this was gonna happen, I wouldn't have fucking showed up. And I have to be fair, I tricked Tim into giving me his selections under the guise

that he would not be playing. And I thought he was condemned to death or something and I was gonna pull the switch. Ha ha ha! So that's why you showed up here. Yeah. Well, that says something. That's a good defense witness.

Yeah. And for episode 600, I guess all of us would agree that it's something to celebrate. Yeah, sure. So what is the three-song playlist that get him in the record store, Clark? We're looking for three party songs to get the place jumpin Wow and I see two party animals

To race to the bottom You can now since I submitted your songs into the record, you can't now change them on the fly. Why would I? I would have. Really? Me, Brian Q, you can't now, he's already in the record. I don't give a shit, I'm right. Spoke like a true record store clerk. Hahaha!

So Tim, without further ado, if you'd please tell us your three party songs to get the place jumping. Alright, uh, start with Aretha Franklin, Rock Steady. Rock Steady, baby, that's what I feel now. Let's go the song exactly what it is. Step and move your hips with a feeling from side to side. War, Me and Baby Brother. And Marvin Gaye got to give it up. I used to know all you wanted is a thing, understand now. Cause I was too nervous, thinkin' I really get it.

Sorry. Wow. Yeah, didn't even know the first two. But Marvin Gaye, of course. Yeah, but now we will get to discuss them They're now get him will reveal his and then they'll have One minute Tim will have to to of course dissect Get him songs and vice versa gotcha

Just one of those is the one I have so doesn't matter. Okay All right. I have in no particular water your honors pump up the jam by Technotronic. Pump up the jam, pump it up, why your feet are stumping, and the jam is pumping, look ahead the crowd is jumping, pump it up a little more, get the party going. I have What's Up by Four Non Blondes Not the traditional one you've normally heard but the DJ Miko version Hey yeah yeah Hey yeah yeah

I said hey What's going on And I said hey hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, What kind of fucking party is that for? 490 The DJ Niko version? It's amazing Um, okay And Jump Around by House of Pain Get up, stand up, come on, throw your hands up If you got the feeling, jump up, push the ceiling Monks, listen, funk, fluff, someone's fucking junk Yo, I'll bust them in the eye And then I'll take the punks out, feeling fucking All right, Tim, why are your songs better? They just are, I mean, four non-blondes,

are you fucking kidding me? I mean, look, even if two of my songs sucked and they don't, you're that four non-blondes is just gonna fucking sink you Yeah, not the DJ Miko version, but you got shorted and the top Was that charted or shorted? That's one of your songs Ouch Your songs are fucking just basic.

Jump Around? Jump Around's a good song. Yeah, Jump Around. It's a fun song, it's not a fucking party starter. Been featured in 12 movies. Who gives a fuck? Like, Missing the Fire in the party scene. Also was number three on the top 100s.

You are the wrongest man on the planet right now. It wasn't a missus. Fire Jump around is the crux of the whole entire movie without that song and that party there is no missus doubt fire Which might not be a bad thing. Oh Rob Williams rest in peace. I hope he doesn't hear that. Why would he? He's dead. Has that been a minute?

Seems like a fucking hour. All right. Get him, now you can attack Tim's songs. I mean, look. I went and looked at some of his songs. Wrong. His songs. And and their movies like secretary which came out in 2002 and who gives a fuck movies over it's songs not movies

but these are songs ever include supposed to encourage partying and excitement I mean pump up the jam was used in ready player one in space jam which is shit talking my song is not pumping up your songs? Okay, and I'm talking about your songs, which are in, uh, nothing good at all. But who cares if they were in movies? Because they're about, the movies that they're in are high energy, and part of the reason that music is in movies is to show energy. This is songs for parties, not movies. And one of your songs is past 1973.

Who gives a shit yeah I was thinking it's a good song I really thought that some 73 year old black man got a hold of your phone when you sent me those those songs and he's a really cool 73 year old black man I mean the only one rocking to these are the oldies if it like Gene Simmons is there all right all right is it all right right, Keele. What do you think won that well look? I mean obviously the inclusion of jump around would Would sway me generally, but I have to I have to go with him. I thought he really

The whole movie thing was a misplay like nobody gives a shit about that's not that's gonna do anything miss doubt Far isn't the party movie the fucking century? I don't know why Counselor Okay, I love jump around I love jump around it's probably one of my number one party songs I'm from the 90s It's a great song. You know what I mean? I was there when it came out. I was there at the dances. Everybody jumped around the circle. I'm with you on that. Have you ever jumped around? Oh dude, I've jumped around all across the ceiling, bro. You can't help but jump around. Yeah, you gotta. I still... You put it on now, everybody's jumping around. Everybody.

And I will say, I still know every word to jump around to this day. Even the anti-cop lyrics? to jump around to this day. Even the anti-cop lyrics? Especially the anti-cop lyrics. Yeah, but I still think Tim took it. But Tim's argument was, I mean, he literally resorted to going, eh, a record store. Effective. Well, because he's not justifying, he's not

making his argument by using the most obnoxious of sounds to, like, that's how you win an argument. That's how a 10-year-old wins an argument. He's not making his argument by using the most obnoxious of sounds to To like that's how you win an argument. That's how a ten-year-old wins an argument. He brought up Mrs. Downfire I don't know. I it seemed to me like what didn't win an Academy Award Get him every time he's deserved it I feel feel in this instance, for me, Tim won the art. I just going, eh? He didn't just go, eh. I think he is, that's all you heard? Yeah, the fallacies.

Got the dicks out of your ears, man. I think you said more than just, eh, right? I have to go with Get-Em and I'll tell you why. Because I recognize two of his three songs. That's the only reason. I think if you had heard them, you'd recognize them. Yeah. Because even though I was like, I don't know who these are. And then I heard them. I was like, oh, I know this. Oh, really? So it's just my ignorance too.

Yes. You know what? In real court, a judge can't run home. And listen to this. Law book. Right. It's probably playing behind us right now. I've been turning around and saying. He's putting up a random DJ's version of 49 Blondes. That's the one song that I don't know what it is. Yeah, so I got to say that I leaned toward.

What was that? He went, eh, eh. What is that? You're being allowed to interject, and I'm being told to. No, but you didn't say anything. Counselor, counsel, you want to get control of this? He kept jogging, but you didn't say anything. You want to get a control? So things are going our way.

He was doing so well up to this point. Let him keep talking. What did you think, Troy? Go ahead, get him. I mean, Gittem's biggest argument for his songs was that they were in movies. Suicide is Painless was in MASH. I'm not going to play it at a fucking party. He picks a song that has some girl fucking yodeling about a heroin addiction.

What a great Masha reference there. You know? So, I mean, like you said, I recognize by name one of Tim's songs, the other two you said I would know if I heard them. But Tim at least probably has a reason for picking other than it was in a movie. You know?

All right. I still cannot get over. You know I the respect I have for Tim as the host of PPP and the the absolute respect the oh I cannot even believe that like Your first time up at the plate playing the game you went Playing the game you went I cannot vote new is gonna be this I would have fucking come up with something a little bit better I cannot gave give him my song Sustained stained overruled I I'm not sure Sustained stained overruled I

Feel I cannot vote for Tim based solely upon his or so fucking sorry And I am loving every minute of saying this you failed Oh, that's not unanimous across the judges. Just letting you know. Wow. Well, that's all the questions. So that means Gittem also won. Gittem won this. PPP, his very first win against Tim.

That's impressive. If you're keeping track, Gittem has won every single challenger game. I think the last one was kind of giving it to him. It was a skew. This is a bullshit court Wow, thank you Tim. Yes. Thank you for coming down After he lost I figured what can be said he was gonna run

If you can save this counselor You've earned your pay well I think that's the best I think sometimes the best way to cross-examine somebody is not have anything to say at all. But I just say that I loved your testimony and I loved that he couldn't keep his mouth shut over here and I don't have anything more to say about it. Wow. Get him saying that little bit. Said a lot.

Yep. Yeah. You saw him not be able to hold it in. Yeah. His, you saw him not be able to hold it in. Yeah. Yeah. His rage just... Ah. I mean, I'll ask one question. Is there anything you have to say about Gitem being on the show?

I mean, if he's just going to be Gitem, I'm sure it would be interesting. Yeah. Maybe I should have stopped it no question. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Thank you. No further questions.

All right. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for coming. Thank you, Tim. Thank you for being part of Tell Them Steve, Dave. Yes. Thank you so much for having me.

Appreciate it very much. I'm going to go walk out into traffic now. Good to see you, buddy. What's up? Curator here. Just want to say congratulations on 600 episodes of God's Favorite Podcast, Tell Them Steve Dave. All right.

Should we call him Troy? Troy. Call Troy. All right. All right. Sarah, I'm not even going to ask you. Your, your honesty is, uh... Oh, my integrity is beyond reproach.

Unimpeachable. Unimpeachable. We have no questions. All right. All right. Sir, I'm not even gonna ask you your your honesty is... Oh, my integrity is beyond reproach. Unimpeachable. Unimpeachable. We have no questions about your honesty. We're not even gonna insult you by asking you to swear in. I appreciate that. Officer Troy, thank you for being here. Thank you, sir. Could you please, for the benefit of the court, explain how you got involved with Telling Steve Dave Dave very early on I was a listener to smog cast and had heard the guys on there with Kevin Smith And actually become friends with Kevin Smith and he put me on his street hockey team puck you

Played in a tournament in Brantford, Canada with Ryan Walt and Q was up there at the time very early on a TV It's home Tuesday home Steve Dave is a sound guy. And up in Brandfriar, I became friends with the guys and have remained friends ever since. Now, also being part of Tell'em Steve Dave, have you had an opportunity to meet Get'em and interact with Get'em? Oh, from day one, yeah. And I know that there may be some, you know, you guys may not be the best of friends, would that be correct?

I would say, I wouldn't say we're the best friends, but there's no animus between us. He's been along fine with them. Great. And as a listener, can you speak a little bit about the contributions that you think Gitem has brought to the show? He always brings interesting, not always brings interesting stuff. He brings interesting stories to the show and a unique perspective on things. He says things that I never thought I would hear a person admit to.

So it's always interesting. Again, not always, but he's an interesting guy. Stuff like his attraction to sweat socks. Correct. Birdhouses. Maybe touching a... Exactly. You know, touching a nipple every now and again. So in general, would you say that Gidham

contributes to the show more than he detracts from the show? I would. I was actually, while I was sitting here earlier, I was thinking about it. And Gidham has been on a sabbatical from Tell Them Steve, Dave Proper free show, but he's still on Patreon, which I believe the highest tier is $100 a month. So his contributions, we're comfortable charging people $100 a month for, but we're questioning whether or not we should give it away for free. And as an officer, you are an expert in the, in carrying out of laws.

Yes. And you may recall the game, I fought the law and the law won. It's been a while, but yes. It has been a while, but it is a favorite game of the listeners. Is it? Oh, definitely. Yeah, definitely. So, I thought we'd play a little impromptu game of I Fought the Law and the Law won,

where I will read out three laws, three for you, Officer Troy, and three for, get him, Steve Dave. Is it really impromptu if you ever read them? Well, the court was not aware that we'd be playing. Think about what's gonna happen here. We're asking a former security guard going up against a homicide detective. Right.

If he beats you, you might have to turn in your badge. If I don't, based on my, what I remember of this game, if I'm unfamiliar with these laws, I'm totally comfortable with them. Right, but your boss got wind of this, you're like, you lost? To a former security guard? I think that would be his last take away from it. I think if my boss called wind of this, there would be so many more questions.

Why do you have this guy who calls himself the fucking hair guy getting a tattoo? What's with the record store clerk? What's with the little Asian guy getting a tattoo, what's with the record store clerk, what's with the little Asian guy who keeps saying yo? There'd be so many more questions than why didn't I know about milkmaids in Nebraska in 1812 or whatever the fuck that would be. All right. I just think there's a lot more, you could lose a lot more than he can. You could lose 27 years. I can just retire tomorrow.

The stakes are not that high. All right, well, let's get into it. So one of these three laws are real, and you have to guess the real one. The first one is, it is illegal to get married in Nebraska. If you have- Holy shit, I said Nebraska. It is illegal to get married in Nebraska if you have venereal disease. The disease at the time of marriage, they can't try to annul the marriage later on these grounds.

The second one. One, it's illegal in Montana for a wife to lay her hands on any part of her husband's buttocks unless she is bathing him. And three, in Delaware, it's illegal for a pawnbroker to take or receive as a pledge or pawn any used sex toys. Which one of those three is the real law? Before you answer, you could discuss with us. I mean, I know for a fact it's number three because I tried that. What are you thinking?

What do you think, Hugh? I didn't know that was a law that there was actually a law in the books about a wife touching her husband's buttocks being it you know for Baiting because I I didn't realize well I just thought that was one of the one of my perks or to buy things that I'm like Yeah What was the first one again the first one disease in the can't get married in Nebraska. Yeah, you can't get married if you. If you have a venereal disease in Alaska. No, we know you have venereal disease.

That sounds like it could be true. In Nebraska. It seems like the most logical one, which means it's probably not that one. Yeah, the sex toy one does make sense from a health point of view. What maniac is bringing in our used sex toys though? And be like, I can flip these.

Oh, I think you're out there. That doesn't shock me in the slightest. Don't you think that guy is psychosexy? Yeah. Yeah, but who's going to buy it though? You don't think that guy is psychosexy? All right, Troy, what do you think? The one that makes the most sense, it would be number three.

That sounds like something like the Board of Health would make some type of law that you can't do that. Is that the final answer? It is. Unfortunately, number three was a fake one. The real one was that it is illegal to get married in Nebraska if you have a venereal disease. Okay. Whoo! The door is open.

The door is open. Forget him, Steve, Dave. Get him. Here are your three questions. In Arizona, it is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth. Number two, in Arkansas, it is illegal to educate or train a cat. And number three, in Ohio, it is illegal to defecate in a milk carton. Was it really tough? So far this is a perfect counselors perfect run he's

had in these games. Perfect run so far. So there's a lot riding on this. Why would anybody want to go to bathroom in a milk carton but who I guess somebody at some point somebody high up was like drank out of a milk carton was like this missing kid smells like shit this isn't chocolate milk I am going to say given the provision that it specifies being under 18 That the one about it being illegal to have less than one tooth in Arizona That way it excludes children who haven't had their teeth growing There's the most sense to me they're to include that provision. Yes. That's my final answer, correct? That's right There's no fucking way you'd

have given these answers beforehand. There's no fucking way. He's fucking a genius. Have you heard what his IQ is? Have you heard yet? What was his IQ, what is for the record, what is his IQ? 148.

And rising, and rising. It's like the leader The whole body keeps growing The whole body keeps growing The brain sticks It's all brain matter going around his waist That guy could have been in the CIA

Could have been A perfect score so far wow Well I have no further questions Thank you both Officer Troy. Wow. Did you come back around that way? No, no, cross-examination. You gotta face the music now.

Yeah, you gotta stand by your, I don't know, answers. Good afternoon. The dance coming for you now, bro. I'm gonna start fucking sweating. You had, it seemed like you were a little bit hedging your bets on whether or not you thought he was contributing to the show or the things you think he may not be contributing to the show or he may be given to the show that shouldn't be contributed. Oh, like you said, he's not in the ropes, but please.

Right. He brings interesting stories and he brings a lot to the show. There are times where it seems like guys are just on a run making funny banter and then he just throws a hand grenade into it and it just crashes into all stops. Yeah. Happens sometimes. Yeah. Once a show? Twice a show?

I couldn't say once a show. I don't know that it happens every show. It happens. I can't say once a show. I don't know that it happens every show. It happens, I can't say how often. Have you missed him while he's been off? You know what? No. Oh. But just because. Don't bring the questions one way.

Just because the guys had some excellent content that didn't need any of his personality peppered into it. You mentioned that the $100 deal that his comedy is worth or his contributions are worth people paying $100 for. Oh, I didn't say it's worth it. I said that that... I didn't see your name on that tier. I said that people are paying for Patreon content. He contributes to Patreon.

So people are paying for his entertainment. Yeah, but we don't know how many of those times, the shows he's on, how many people are listening to that because we don't have those figures, right? I don't have the figures, but I'm sure you... We don't, nor do we have the figures of the amount of people who would subscribe if he wasn't on. We don't have those figures either. Yeah. The examination says it. The same. We don't have those figures either. Yeah.

The examination says it all. We don't have those figures. The Supreme Court can always jump in any time they want. That's the... I'm a judge here, man. Yeah. The free show, it's the only option that people have for that's free though.

There aren't any of the other shows that these three fine justices are on. That's the only show that they have. And the argument from a lot of people is that he would, he's, he should only be on the Patreon shows and not on the free show because that's the only one that the people can listen to for free. True, but I think that all the listeners should be supporting Patreon for at least a $5 a year. Hear, hear.

Hear, hear. For all the goodwill the guys have generated over the years providing free content. And I also think that if these guys see fit to get them on the show, who is anybody to tell them not to have them on the show? It's their show. If you don't like it, you don't have to listen. But they provided... But still pay, though.

But still pay. They're doing something right. You don't have to listen, but they provided. But still pay though, but still pay. Yeah. They're doing something right. And if they feel that having Get Them On adds to the show, who are we to question it? Yeah, no further questions. Thank you. God damn. I'm going to offer Jay, if you want to take your ballast position again.

And I think we'd also like to take a moment to thank Troy for his unbelievable contributions to the show. So happy you were here today. So happy you've been made time for us through the years. Of course. Your contributions are legendary. Hey, it's Chris Ladondo.

I want to congratulate Tellem Steve Dave on 600 episodes. 600 episodes. We thought Bri was going gonna kill himself by episode 6 but seriously guys you make a lot of people happy every week I hope you realize that and thank you for letting me be a part of it you look like Rosen Titanic yeah Yeah. You gotta get him, Tetsu. How you feeling?

Fantastic. Fan-fucking-tastic. I love you, Gettum. You're with me forever now. Okay. Your next witness, sir. The defense calls Brian Rupert to the scene. I'm gonna get him. You're with me forever now. Okay, your next witness, sir. The defense calls Brian Rupert to the stand.

Oh, here he is. All right, can you put your hand on the skull, please? So, you're gonna tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? I do. You didn't say so help you God though. How come? He's a godless heathen.

He's a Jewish guy. He knows I'm Jewish. It doesn't matter. Mr. Rupert, thank you for being here. Thanks for having me. If you could, tell us a little bit about how you got involved with Tell'em Steve Day? In 2017, Walt put out a thing, can anyone do green screen work for a Halloween special? I emailed back and I came down and I met Walt Getum. I was picked to do it and me, my friend Steve and we worked on it.

We did Halloween 2017. Since that time, would you say that you've had a lot of interactions with Getham? Yes I have. And that you know him on some personal level now? Yes I consider Getham a good friend. Are you also a listener, an avid listener of the show? I am. I've listened to every TSDA episode, probably the first four or five hundred at least twice. Now you're aware of Getham's involvement. Could you for the court explain some of those times where Getham has contributed to the show and made the show better? On Mike I think he's added a lot of content. For example I don't know many people that have been that their mothers have tried to kill them and I

think Getham brought that to the table. That's a personal highlight being smothered by his mother and I think his mother is working as an avatar for many of the listeners too. And would you say that that was pretty brave of him to bring that out, to offer that up for the show? Yeah, I think a lot of people try to bury their trauma and Gedim's open about it, you know? Are there any other examples, either on here or off here, of where you feel like Gedim I think a lot of people try to bury their trauma and get them open about it, you know? Are there any other examples, either on air or off air, of where you feel like Getham has really been

an advocate for the show? Definitely behind the scenes. He's in the office basically 24-7, ready to meet anybody that comes in. He does a lot of technical behind the scenes stuff that people don't even know about, jimbles, having anything available that you need for any given project.

It's like a human Swiss army knife. And would you say, or I should say, do you think that Gidham being on the show is better or is it worse for Tell'em Steve Dave? I think it has without a doubt added content to the show, just having a punching bag, which I think all has without a doubt added content to the show just having a punching bag Which I think all the best shows need you need someone to just beat up on her Now are you familiar with the game? That's get him tame it I

Am yes. Yes. I thought we could play a little bit of that's get him tame it right now if you wouldn't mind okay? So what I will do is I'm gonna. Because every podcast needs somebody who could do great impressions. Sure, definitely. Well, could you give the rules for get him entertainment, that's get him tamed one more time? The rules for that's get him tamed is

get him Steve, Dave. You know, when Sunday Jeff's not here, which is, you know, he's not here all the time, we need somebody to do impressions. And for me, you know he's not here all the time we need somebody to do impressions and for me You know my favorite impressions are of Barney Fife and ace fraile I Think fuck you fangin Most kids these days my favorite get him impressions. That's what we're gonna. We're gonna put on display here right now So what I will do is I'm gonna name an impression

and then we're gonna have Brian, you make an attempt at it and then get him, you'll make an attempt at him. You have two categories of impressions. The first is Don Knotts, everyone's favorite sheriff's assistant in any Clint Eastwood movie. So it's Don Knotts in a Clint Eastwood movie? Yeah, it's two levels of difficulty okay yeah playing the role of Dirty Harry okay oh wait a minute you're

not just Dirty Harry movies right any Clint Eastwood movie any Clinton movie all right there's two types of people in this world bud those with loaded guns and those who dig you dig oh dear that was pretty good. Not bad. Not bad. That was pretty good. Not bad. Not bad. I know. Could you please do a Don Noth in any... This is the master going right now. I've killed women and children.

I've killed everything that walks or crawls at one time or another. And I'm here to kill you, Ernest T. Bass, for what you done to Opie. Wow. Wow. Wow. Incredible. Now in a real life situation, if a judge were this like enamored with the defendant, would there be a mistrial called?

Also, he's definitely reading that off the paper, which means that he had advanced knowledge of this contest. Can I get some points? Because that was off the top of my head. Oh, you're winning as far as this judge's concerned. Now for the next one, probably the most recognizable voice on the list, is Ace Freely, the guitarist for Kiss, as Barney Fife.

Let's go down to the fishing hole and look for a translucent record. At this point, I'm gonna join Tim in the fucking street. I don't understand a single reference he just made. You don't know who he's really is? I know he sings us one song, I know. That's hilarious. Get him if you would please take it away.

Hey Andy, let's go down to the snappy lunch and get some coffee and cakey. I can't get more than three cakeys or I'm gonna lose my mind. But I can't have one. I just gotta have more than one. Then we could go down to the general store and get open that new Jim Neibor's record, the one with the lenticular cover. I can't have one. I can't have one.

I can't have one. I can't have one. Wow. I didn't know you were doing that. That is unmistakably ace food. I didn't know you were doing that. I didn't know you were doing that. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my god. Because of the upset I bought a lentriculoclose. No further questions. Is that what his freely sounds like? Yes. Exactly, Deva. It's like he's in the room with us.

Excuse me while I walk into traffic right now. Oh. Oh well, I voted for you. I just want you to know that right up front. What moments in time that you've been listening have you had the opportunity to hear, get them Steve Dave, have a train wreck? Have a train wreck?

Yeah. Like, what do you mean? Like, fuck up? Yeah. Well, I mean, the hit and pops is obviously the biggest fuck up, I think. He got thrown out, you know? That seemed like it could have been the end for Get Him. Yeah?

Yeah. This could be the end for Get Him. I don't think so. Not looking so good for me, I'll tell you that. Is there anything else that you'd like to say about Get'em before? Yeah, Get'em is a good guy. Over the years, I think we've become good friends. I don't know if he feels the same way.

I consider Get'em actually a close friend. He's done favors for me if I ask. I'm not handy. My wife's car broke down, and he was like, oh, I'll go fix it, and you could stay behind. So he's a good guy to be friends with. He's a good friend to ask for favors and things like that. Really, because I once asked him to hang some pictures

for my wife at my home, and he never showed up. He told me that his thumb hurt or his elbow or something. Never got those pictures hung. I guess you're not important enough. Not as important as Mrs. Rupert. I did have a question, if you don't mind, counselor. You had said before that his mother putting a pillow on his head was a stand-in for much of the audience.

What did you mean by that? Well, I don't think anything is a 100% approval rating. So, you know, there's a good portion of the audience which doesn't like Gettin, which is the reason he's on trial. That's clear. A good portion? I'd say maybe 40%. Wow. That's a big percent. Is that too high? That's way too high. He said it, it's on the record. I like to get that struck from the record. No, no. He said it. It's on the record. I like to get that struck from the record. No, no.

It's on the record. Wow. I like to get that seconded on the record if you don't mind. So just to clarify, so someone that you consider a good friend who has done favors for you and your wife, you still can't even give him more than 60% of the audience tolerating them? I'm going by what I see on Reddit.

And that is a cesspool. And I'm sure I'm going by what I see on Reddit. And you know, that is a cesspool. And I'm sure I'm going to get ripped there now too. But you know, there's definitely a fair amount of get him hate. I was going to say 50-50. I was like, oh, if I make it 60-40, it's not as bad. You were going to say 50-50. You were trying to soften the blow for get him.

Yeah. Wow. Nice of you. Wow. And then you went out of your way to mention how helpful he is off the air. Yeah. Wow. Nice of you. Wow. And then you went out of your way to mention how helpful he is off the air. Yeah. Very little of what you said involved him on the air,

which is what this trial is about. We start to forget. Yeah. It's like, I don't think anybody's questioning that Getham's a great guy, and you love to have him work in the office. It's on the mic. He is a great punching bag, though.

I don't think many people would disagree with that, right? Let me ask you who's the next punch if get him goes who's the next person in line for that role probably Jimmy the hair guy Would absorb it just hanging out with Jimmy I could tell you he's a great punching bag So the next trial by fire ants is gonna be for Jimmy the hair guy Wow, okay. Okay. I have no more questions for my end. Anything else from the court?

Because I'm done. I'm a prosecutor. No, I don't have anything to say. I don't want him to talk anymore. I think the audience is gonna agree with you. I don't think we picked a winner. The winner of the Dance Game of Tame It? I thought the reaction to Ace Fraley as Barney Fife,

Jim Neibor's Tren-ticular cover, that's next level. Yeah. One more time, get him. I gotta go down and get off of the Jim Neibor's Tren-ticular cover. You're moving it, oh look, I move with the lightning bolts. It's gonna be so pissed off I bought them all. I gotta give them to him.

I gotta give them to him. This court prides itself on fairness. I have to give it to him. I have to give it to him. Thank you, rappers. Thank you for all your contributions. Absolutely, tell them Steve Dave Town has a better place with you around. No, no, no. He's for all your contributions. Absolutely. Tell them Steve Davetown is a better place with you around. And they know, no, no, no.

No, no. He's a judge, man. Can't just go molesting judges on the way out the door. Yeah. At this time, the defense calls, get him Steve Dave to the witness. Oh, this is risky. Yeah, ballsy move. Look at him.

There he goes. Ah! the Oh, this is risky. That ballsy move. Oh, there he goes. Oh, well, if the office was a little neater, that would happen. I will say that. Putting your client on the stand. That is a counselor. What are you thinking?

I think that that get him deserves his opportunity to speak to the judges this guy he's smelling blood in the water he's gonna come after him this guy you have a very strong case Wow all right get him please put your hand on you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth and concisely as possible I Do okay Mr.. Get him Steve Dave. How you stankin very well yourself very good now You know I really only have one question for you today Tell the judges what tell him Steve Dave means to you it

It's tough to put into words because I feel sometimes that the English language can't accurately describe how much this pod means to me. How having friends like this helps. I've had a couple bad runs in my And you've always been here for me. I literally thank God for that. I thank you all. You tell him to do this now? I don't think I could've gotten in the house fire or anything like that without you guys around.

Trying to make a comedy show here. Ah, fuck it. Sorry, dude, it's true, it's true. I think it's funny. I don't think I'd change any of it if I ever could. And I don't think I'd change any of it if I ever could. I don't know what else to say. I'm a man of many words when it comes to some subjects, but I'm not a man of many words when it comes to other subjects.

It's a little tough. But TSD means the world to me. It's become a part of my life that I kind of know if it was missing, it would be a gigantic loss. Thank you, Gittem. And it has been an absolute privilege representing you today. Thank you. Thank you, sir.

Now- Blown away, Q. representing you today. Thank you, thank you sir. Now before the defense addressed anything that he did wrong. He said how much the pod means to him. I fear you to find him guilty. He didn't address any of the concerns of the listeners or anything. He just talked about... We addressed all the concerns by the witnesses. I thought it was important that the people hear how much this pod means to him. I thought his, he said everything by winning all those games. Yeah. Yeah.

Some of the, I gotta say some of the answers he gave in the games, like the snow, I was like, what the fuck's wrong with this guy? Like, how does he, I can't remember shit from the day before that's like important stuff. Like how he retains this is amazing. He's like, it's amazing. Hold on. I haven't forgotten the domain.

Wow. Get them powerful. I, you know, to, to, to address that, Walt will come in and we have snowed out here, and I mentioned how good the snow looks, and Walt will mention how good the snow looked in his house, and that's stuff I remember. A couple of fairies sitting around

talking about the driven snow. Or like when someone mentions that. You find the snow pretty, do you? You and Walt? Or when someone mentions that they like a particular straw because you know why don't you remember why I like what a Fresh snow does for me. Do you remember what it does? It's No, really? Get you going

Yeah, well that was the question it gets Remember it, okay He doesn't come into work when it snows. Yo, what are you doing here, boss? Oh no! I assume some children are treated as children. Since you've not been on the show, have you found it lacking

or you're fine not being on the main show? It hurts sometimes, you know, being in the room and not being able to, you know, address concerns or when you guys ask questions and you just don't know the answers to it. You know, it hurts me because I don't want you to look ignorant. And...

LAUGHTER And uninformed. There he goes, Kasa. That's your client, Kansa, right there. I like to help out whenever I can, just like you guys have helped me. And that's, I cannot offer much, but that's pretty much all I can offer sometimes.

Is knowledge, which some would say is priceless. Some would say that. Others would say otherwise. Wow. Now, before the defense rests its case, Gidham is prepared to do a one truth read. And he doesn't even need to. He's won every game.

He has won everything. Yes, he risks so much by if he is this one blemish on his mark. He has a better record than Tom Brady. Whoa. Ah! Oh! Holy shit. I just realized he's right. Wow. Wow. Just the season, not overall. And so

all he has to do is make one of us get it wrong. One of you needs to get it wrong and he will win the challenge. Right. Okay. Every challenge, you'll go undefeated. I mean, I'll certainly weigh that in judgment. Okay. Yeah. So you have a one true three ready. Remember your last one true three

where you went to the circus. Hopefully it's better than that. I can't guarantee that it is. Since I do tell many stories throughout my day, it's very tough to, I had to go very, very, very deep to find these stories, like sometimes into my childhood. But some are even closer than that though. So, story number one.

I was chosen to give a speech as MLK Junior in fourth grade because I sounded the most black. Your natural voice or you put on a voice? I did an affect. What year was this? Of course, of course you did. Fourth grade. Can we hear that act, can we hear it?

It's better than his ace. Yeah. To be fair, he was Dollar Shave's understudy. And it wasn't fourth grade, so we're gonna say 88. Okay. So yeah. Can you give me a little bit of that impersonation? I don't have any, it's been a long time. I have a dream that someday my children will walk hand in hand with my children

on the steps of the courts of Montgomery. Wow. You don't sound particularly black, though. You look like a Civil War general. Yeah, right. It was uni New Jersey. We did not have much representation at that time in our school district.

Unfortunately, it wasn't as racist as I wanted it to be. But it's continuing. But still, you had a teacher who was like, you sound black. I got to sit in the standing principal's office and like talk into the- Did you put on blackface? No, no, I did not put on blackface. My dad told me that I did.

Damn, he's 148. He knows better than to do that, even if a teacher tells him he does. But in the 80s, everybody was doing it. Is there a reason that the teacher couldn't just play audio in his speech that they had to have? They wanted to have the students like, represent it.

Better to represent them, okay? Better young get'em. I don't know, I'm not sure of the reason. Number two. The homeless guy who I called the police on was not the first person I run into after hours, Airport Plaza. Talking about Jimmy the Hair Guy? No, you guys, well you guys can ask follow up questions. person I run into after hours airport Plaza. Okay. So much. You mean the hair guy?

No, you guys, well, you guys can ask follow up questions. Can I? Yes. Thank you. What does that mean though? You ran into somebody else after hours? And I've never, never mentioned it before to anyone else. Not even to you.

Who? Well, what happened? Uh, okay. I was leaving here one, I was sitting in here one night watching, going, you know, looking at stuff on the internet, and I heard a noise outside, and I opened the door and I look outside, there's a girl just wearing a shirt, naked,

but coming out of the bathroom. And it turns out our maintenance guy was using one of the empty offices for a late night hookup. I thought this was gonna end in you crushing puss. No, no, no, no, no. But we kinda like, she screamed, he came running out, and we like looked at him. Screamed when she saw you.

What was she wearing? She was wearing like a men's shirt with nothing like on underneath. She was barefoot? Yeah, she was just running out to use the bathroom and then to come running back in. She went to the fucking shitty Airport Plaza bathroom like then to walk around barefoot in public bathrooms I guess to clean up I actually and it's them and she's wearing a men's shirt

So instead of putting on her own clothes, she grabbed the janitor shirt to go to the bathroom barefoot I guess it was a bigger shirt. So like it covered the I Don't know as well as her actual clothing which presumably shot when she came in I don't I don't know. I she screamed ran that ran into the thing. He ran out what happened when he what happened We kind of like locked eyes and you and who the girl no me and I will what happened Did he what he say when he why were you? You know, I guess you gotta give me like a little and I'm like, okay And we've kind of never really talked about it, but we kind of have an agreement now

Whenever we need to get stuff done in The studio gets done right away. That's that's the true one That's the true one Number three I was suspended in fifth grade for singing a song I heard on TV in the hallway of this Because of the black voice you used? No, no, it's not. What was the song? It was from a show called the New Leave It to Beaver Show.

I don't know if you've heard of it. Not yet. OK. Well, it was the New Leave It to Beaver song, and they had a song on the show called... Was it the same cast? Yeah, it was some of the same... It was their children.

It was a new beaver. Yes, new Leave It to Beaver, yeah. So they sang a song and... Beaver was the father? Father, yes. And Eddie Haskell newly but to beaver. Yeah, so they sang a song and beaver was the father. Yes, and Eddie Haskell was a father as well. Okay, and so was uh, the brother. What was it? What was beaver's son's new big name? I don't I don't remember the show that well. What was the song? The song was called fire in the gym and Like it was so catchy in my head that I was singing it and I'm walking down the hall going, there's a fire in the gym.

Oh, fire in the gym. And I walked by the office of the school, which was between the bathroom and my classroom, Mrs. Ahern's class, and the secretary heard it and started freaking out. And she comes running out and I got in trouble. They thought I was trying trying to like incite a riot You have any questions for this

What was the first one again first one was I was chosen to give a speech oh yeah, the MLK one, okay What you thinking Troy just asking the bailiffs help here before we give our final decisions you second Troy? Just asking the bailiffs help here before we give our final decisions. I mean, second one I feel like Janitor and the girl, you guys spent so much time here together that he just never brought that up to you, never mentioned it. And if it's because he had some agreement with the guy, he keep it under wraps, he wasted the vulture to the entire audience now instead of just telling you. To the same person who you could have told after it happened. It's just something I kept to myself.

And when it came to, just like, well, my mother smothered me. I hadn't told them any of that story until it just popped in my head when I had to think of a story to tell. Happy Mother's Day, by the way. We didn't. Don't you mean smothers day?

Smothers day. Smothers day. For those listening, we are recording this on Mother's Day. But you don't know they're really having sex though. You just theorize. Well, guy and a girl naked. He was naked too. You saw his wang?

No, no, no, no. She was naked. So I just assumed he was naked. She had a shirt on. Why do you assume he was naked? Didn't you see him and he gave you a look? He came out with like pants on. So I just. No shirt. He had no shirt on. No undershirt. No. What do you assume he was naked? Didn't you see him and he gave you a look? He came out with like pants on so...

No shirt. He had no shirt on. No undershirt. They might not have had sex. I don't know why they were here at 2 o'clock in the morning. Why are you here at 2 o'clock in the morning? I was not lying. I was watching Pluto. Old Star Trek episodes. I think MLK is the real one.

I think MLK, huh? I do. The sing is the real one. I think MLK, huh? I do. The singing the fire song, come on, man. The only way the fire one is real is if his teachers were also as annoyed by him as our audience, and couldn't wait to get him out of the fucking school. From what I understand, though, that was the case. Well, if that's the case, it doesn't bode well that he's on the podcast. He's off putting people from the beginning.

Now, by his best friend's fucking own words, 50% of the audience can't stand the guy. I hope for his sake it's not that one. I think it's MLK. Is that your final answer? Final answer. Well, if each of us guess a different one, then there's no way he can win.

There is a way he can win. That's the way he wins absolutely. Oh, that's the only way he's, oh, if one of us gets a different one, then there's no way he can win. There, no, there is a way he can win. That's the way he, he went. That's the only way he's with, Oh, if one of us is wrong, we all have to be right. Okay. Well, then I, then I, I should do MLK. We should all do MLK just in case. I'm going to go with the, uh, the sex in the bathroom with the janitor. I think that one is so, you know, it screams real to me.

Really? I feel like he would tell you immediately the next day. Is there any way that you haven't marked which one is true? Is he going to reveal it to us? Because no matter what we say, he could just say, no, it was this one instead. So. Oh, I trust him. He swore on the skull. Yeah, he swore on the skull. I trust him. I'm going along with number one. That's my answer. But. All right. All right. I'm going to hope. MLK That's my answer, but all right.

All right, I'm going to hope. I'm okay. We think it's okay. This is the homeless guy. Wow. Not the homeless guy being the first person I run into. The only person I run into. So the real, the real story is you caught people

having sex up here. Yeah. Wow, she went barefoot in that bathroom. I've seen him go barefoot in the bathroom. Yeah, I know. But that's him. And that's a men's room too, which means there's piss all over that floor.

Yeah, the laser was a little cleaner, yeah. Wait, you really go barefoot in the men's room? I, I, socks. Socks. Socks, audio. Socks. It even works with piss. It's like wearing piss mops on your feet.

I change it every day. Do you? Yeah. All right. So he just won that one as perfect record. I change him every day. Do you? Yeah. So he just... He did what the Patriots couldn't do. I want to clarify, I was not suspended, but I did get in trouble for saying there's a fire in the gym. That was a real song and a real show?

Yes. And it's a catchy song. And I did give a speech as MLK, but I was part of a group of people who did it It wasn't because I sounded the most black Why is it that like if get him is walking around in the bathroom and piss-soaked socks? We really don't think much of it But like if Johnny Law is in there like it would be the talk for the next couple weeks I stand far back. I see if there's anything. Hopefully everybody else does, too.

Well, wow. So I guess it's just a cross-examination. Yes, yes. Wow. Defense rests. Now, Danny the lawyer, after seeing that emotional display, do you have what it takes to rip this guy apart?

Oh, yeah. I got it. I got it. I got this. First thing I'd like to see if anybody else in the room smells kind of like a piss-smelled sock smell. Oh, shit. Oh, get him.

You're in your socks. Ugh. Now, the big one of the big things about you is that you're 148. Yes, sir. Do you have a possible addition sign between the 1 and 48, so it's really a 49? No, sir. Do you have a possible addition sign between the 1 and 48, so it's really a 49? No, sir. I was tested as a child because I was doing poorly in school, and they needed to determine

whether I had a learning disability or did I have eye problems or what was the reason I was doing so poorly in school. So I had a high IQ, but I also had ADHD. So that's why I was failing to perform as well, because I was getting bored in class. So it's not 49, which is one plus 48? No. Okay.

Are you sure your eyes were okay then too? Yes, my eyes were okay. My eyes are still pretty much 20, 20. Yeah. Love this antagonizing the witness. I love it. I can finally see him go for it. Are there any other, how do you explain when you jump into the show with a... I mean,

the show's flowing pretty good and you jump right in with something and it stops the show dead? I believe it's misdirected enthusiasm. I know I have problems understanding social cues and Again, I know that these guys have worked together for years and they develop a synergy much like you have with the other jokers Or you can just with an eye look. Yeah tell things with me sometimes and I look doesn't doesn't do nothing Yeah, you know someone will look at me when I say there's no hidden poss of a look on their eye and I don't understand like why there's a problem right and I understand I had that problem, but you know the best I can try to do is

learn and adapt and That's what I think I will try to do going forward if I am allowed to be on the show I Know I know I've told I've said that I that I need to be taught sometimes. I know I tell stories that meander on for hours and hours and months and months, but it's tough for me to know what are the important parts of the story and what are the unimportant parts. And many times people don't tell me what they are, just that I'm telling a long $5 boot

story. So do you think that this time that you've had off since like the last 15 episodes, do you think that's done anything for you? I believe so. I believe that I've found a way to aid in the show by not talking, by being a, I don't want to say producer, I'm not sure the exact person, but a fact checker who can bring information up on a screen. That's a better use of my energy and I can focus that intense,

the intense outburst that I want to come out of my mouth, I can make it run through my fingers. You think that might be something you would do if you were given the opportunity to come back on? Definitely, I'm doing it right now. And I believe I can continue on doing so. Think you'd be a better person for having been off this time? Uh, I think anytime we have a chance to learn we all become better people.

Yeah, do you think you become a better person is the question? Yeah, it may not be a vast difference, but I believe yes, there is a small difference, so there is a difference, yeah. And you think you can continue learning if you come back on? I believe yes, the only way to continue learning is to continue trying. I have no further questions, thank you.

I thought you would ask him why the fuck he's a dickhead to Jimmy the Hair Guy. Oh yeah. Before we get stopped there, why are you a dickhead to Jimmy the Hair Guy. Oh yeah. Before we get stopped there, why are you a dickhead to Jimmy the Hair Guy? I don't believe I'm a, I believe it can seem to an outside observer and possibly to Jimmy himself that I'm a.

So in other words, everyone. But there are many aspects to our relationship that aren't privy to the public that I believe make up for my one Insistence that in order to come to the buffet with me. He has to earn a place at the table Can you just say going forward I have learned a lesson and Jimmy and I are gonna go to the buffet. It's gonna be the greatest judge you're reading As a judge ever led the witness before?

In the Supreme Court, they do. I've set forth the standard, and we just need to, you know, come upon the test for the standard, and then he can join me all he wants at the buffet. And that standard is being a glutton. Well, no, it's not just being a glutton. It's not about quantity. And it's not about quality.

It's being able to eat and have a level of, like not just shoving food in your mouth. You also have to be able to carry on a conversation and not just be a glutton. All right. It's like ice dancing or something. This is madness. I like Dan the Lawyer's watching,

like I can't believe what I'm hearing. Literally, his lung is like, keep talking. This is bad, you're talking about a guy who just wants to be your friend, and you're like, no. No, he can be my friend. This is, it's the buffet.

I will be friends with him, and it's just right now, it's the buffet. How about the waiter? And he just compared shoveling sesame chicken that I was throwing to ice dancing. It's a technical sport. And are you gonna be tipping at that buffet? Ever since Mr. Johnson here,

Justice Johnson here suggests that I tip, I tip at least $2 every time I go to the buffet. Yeah. What percentage is that of the bill? Over 10, going up on 15, I believe. $2? Yeah. Wow, very good. Go back to my... I guess so, yeah.

Should he go back? The defense rests his case crying did it did it touch you didn't get me so much as like put me in a position where I look like an asshole if it didn't get me hate being forced into position where I guess yeah it's miserable I haven't I haven't seen crying on cue like that since Mike's apsec. You know, Mike's not here. But I'd like to say that he, in his own way, here at the 600th episode of Telling Steve Dove, I think Mike has added to the show as well, in his own way.

And I think maybe a moment of gratitude for Mike would be appropriate. Thank you, Mike. No? No? No. No, I can't get everybody on board. I see Walt now.

All right, all right. Closing arguments done. Closing argument. Ladies and gentlemen of the court, or gentlemen of the court, because there are no ladies in here. We'll get them. Anyway. I'd like to say that the witnesses have come forth, and a lot of them have been kind of loaded with, I'm not quite sure what they were loaded with from the things they were saying, but... Pre-planned answers.

That would be my guess. Yeah, but I would like to say that Getham does add a lot to the show. He subtracts a lot from the show. And it's whether or not the subtractions exceed the additions in this case, I guess. I think the times he comes, he brings the show to a screeching halt with his interjections. I think that the prosecution has proved that those exist. Whether or not those are gonna be enough to overcome the times that he makes people laugh and puts on the suits and the additions he makes that way.

I have to tip my hat to him in that area too though. He does have a lot of additions he makes to show. My job's here to show the impossible, I think would be the best way to put it, because he does add a lot to the show. I don't think that I'm going to be... One over the opposition lawyer, man. He does a good job. Wow. That's something I don't see frequently, right?

Wow. I tip my hat to him. Wow, the prosecuting attorney's on his side. I'm not on his side. You got to recognize the room you're in. And I think that- His bedroom. That is correct.

You are recognizing it correctly. I see all the pictures up and all the things around that are Git-Em-centric and- Where? I don't see a single one. Well, they're all around. They're covered behind the green screen. But, you know, would ask that you make the correct finding. That's all I have.

Thank you. Thank you. All right. All right. Thank you. Thank you. May it please the court, counsel? Now we have heard from all of the witnesses. And one thing has been incredibly glaring, that not one of these witnesses has definitively stated that the show is better without ghetto. that not one of these witnesses definitively stated,

the show is better without Getham. Not one. You see, the prosecution, they wanted to start this trial by stifling Getham. They wanna smother him and finish the job that his mother started so many years ago. But your honors, we cannot allow for such a miscarriage of justice.

It is your duty to save him from that fate. Save him like his mother's lesbian lover saved him so many years ago. We as listeners are so quick to forget about Gidham's contributions, to lash out at a man who's just trying to do his best. What I ask you to do is take a step back, take a buffering, and really, really examine the situation for what it is. You see, because where were all these complaints

when on episode 300, he walked down the aisle and married the part-time janitor, part-time chicken farmer, but full-time lover. Or what about his first Christmas episode when he brightened everyone's holidays by regaling them with stories about how awful and depressing his Christmas was? Or the countless times where he donned unflattering and even revealing costumes like the green suit or Elvira. If TESD loses Get'em, TESD loses its heart and its brain. After all, he is smarter than Johnson.

Now I stand here surrounded by movie stars, TV stars, and podcast stars. That's not Get Him Steve Day. He is one of us. He is all of us. He is an am. Now, you've heard evidence in this case, and I ask you to return the only verdict

that is supported by the evidence that justice demands Your honors we ask you to find get him Steve Dave not guilty on all charges Thank you Get him couldn't afford this kind of This kind of lawyerly help. Representation. Yeah, really. Oh. Let's congratulate each other.

Do we deliberate on mic or do we go deliberate then come back and give the what's the best way to do it? I think you deliberate off mic, right? Off mic? Want to take a minute out in the hallway? Yeah. Deliberate? All right. All right, come back in. This is the justices.

We'll be back shortly. The justices have conferred, and we've come upon a verdict. Now, do we announce the, because it's a verdict that comes with certain strings. After careful consideration, listening to everyone come in, all the witnesses talk about Get Him, what he means to them, what he doesn't mean to them. We have decided, that's what's best for Tell'em Steve Dave,

the podcast, is that we find Get Him not guilty. the podcast is that we find get them not guilty. Now along with that comes a probationary period where he can be banished at any moment. If he continues to you know keep it up with the nonsense and a lot of talk about learning. You have a lot of talk about learning so we're going to teach him how to pay back $700 in our domain name. That's the string that comes with it. Each paycheck, he has to put $5 into a jar on his desk until the full $700 is repaid.

Gladly accept that verdict. You accept that verdict in those terms? That jar is going to be publicly on display out there. Yeah. So people could see the $5 a week. Get him, you have to make that jar. With a running tally of how much is in the jar. I feel personally, not as a justice,

but as a member of the podcast, that I missed Get Him When He Was Gone. And I like having Get Him on the show. Does he interject too much? Sometimes. Is he helpful? I would-Em on the show. Does he interject too much? Sometimes. Is he helpful? I would say almost all the time. So on a personal level, I'm glad to have Get-Em back.

I'm sorry to the people who are gonna fucking scathe us on Reddit, but fuck you. Yeah, I'd like to echo that. Fuck you, no. Yeah, also of Get-Em, you mean a lot to me personally. You mean a lot to the show. You're a great friend. Happy to have you back.

Looking forward to after all these years getting my $700 back. Welcome back, Get'em. I like how the whole time it's over in all your 700 bucks. That's literally all year. That's all we fucking talked about at the diner beforehand. He said 700 bucks. Oh, I mean, what can I say? I was rooting for you the whole time. From the very first day I met you, I thought there was a bond. I thought there was a connection. I can't see TSD without you there.

On mic, off mic, your contributions are, should never have been brought into question. Anybody who bitched and moaned about all the things that you brought to the table, they were wrong. This was a bit from the entire time. It was a sham There is one more matter. We'd like to discuss before the court We are prepared to file a claim in the civil division of Tellum Steve Dave

For a mistrial of justice Forget him Steve Dave as he had been unfairly banned from telling Steve-Dave. However, we do have a settlement proposal if your honors would like to hear it. Love to. $705. This court would like to remind your client and and indeed you, sir, that this is a probationary period subject to getting kicked off until the period's ending. So with that in mind, please continue.

Yes, Your Honor. We propose in exchange for us withdrawing that claim in civil court that you grant get him Steve Dave a trial basis Go for drunk story time 2024 For years I've been wanting this My vote is yes Deliverable within the next three months. Yes, I accept except within the next three months? Yes. I accept. Accepted.

Danny, thank you for coming down all the way from Kansas. You were amazing. Thank you, Danny. You had a little bit of a handicap in that you weren't given all the questions and events. And indeed the answers in advance. Yes, yes, but I thought you did admirably, my friend. Thank you, thank you. Yeah, I, but I thought you did admirably, my friend. Thank you.

Thank you. Yeah, I am so happy that you sent that email. I'm so happy you came. I hope you can. I know you live far away, but I would love to have you come back on again if you ever are in the Jersey area. I'd love to come back any time you want.

Thank you. Play around a PPP. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. Have games Yeah. Whatever. I'm game. Johnny Law.

A star was born today. I'm very impressed with Johnny Law. Oh, I think he's going to be plucked by some other more successful podcast. The whole time I'm thinking, this guy is just a face. What was wrong? What I would find very interesting, if Johnny Law would appear

on an episode of Drunk Storytime. I personally would love to. Yeah, really? You can do that without getting disbarred? No, I would love to do it, yeah. Wow. And I cannot tell you the amount of work that John put into this. I just want to give one example to the commitment that is on a level that I can only call lunacy. I'm going to pull the curtain back a little bit. Sunday Jeff's rap, you know, prison sluts with two Zs. He didn't write it. Get out of here. I don't believe it. Sunday Jeff didn't write that?

So I was writing this. What is real? So I wrote that rap and I wanted to send it to John to see if he was pleased with it because he said it was one of his favorite segments he wants to hear so badly in person Sunday do an old, what's the name of that, a two live crew or one middle aged Jew.

So I sent him the rap and I'm like, what do you think? And I'm like, I'm going to change, what was that? Balloon knot or should I just call it an asshole? Like, what are you thinking? What are you thinking? And then I get this text back and it's like, hey Walt, sorry I didn't get back to you about this quicker,

but today's my wedding. Yeah. Yeah. We've got it right? That's amazing. And he goes, but I love it. I love it, I love this part of it. I love, let's keep balloon knot. And this man was getting married within a few hours

and he was working on this and getting text of that nature. The wedding march is playing in the background. Hold on, honey, hold on. I think balloon knot. I think balloon knot's the way to go. Amazing, amazing work. And I can't thank you enough for stepping in and making 600, maybe our longest episode. Could be.

Yeah, it's going to be pretty long. Yeah. He's amazing to work with, too, from this side. I can't tell you how much I really appreciate working with him. Yeah, anybody you represent is a lucky person. Yeah. I enjoyed every second, and I really

appreciate it, Walt. Had a great time. You are going to be responsible for getting back on the show. So like, your reputation walks with him a bit. That's OK. I'm comfortable with that. I've always liked getting him. Well, we want to thank the ants. Walks with him a bit. That's OK. I'm comfortable with that. I've always liked Gettem. Well, we want to thank the ants. We want to thank the witnesses.

We want to thank Victor and Chuck. Sure. Rop. All our VA crew. Yeah, Troy, the tattoo guy. Oh, we got to bring Jimmy in. He got a tattoo of Gettem. We got to see it.

And we want to thank the tattoo artist, Joseph. Yes, okay. But before we bring them in, because it's gonna get, I wanna thank you guys for, geez. I'll go get Jimmy. 14, 14 years now? Or according to me, 15.

I think it's more than 14. Well, let's call it 15 years of just one of the most emotionally and creatively rewarding partnerships I have. You guys have been a friend for a long, long time. And I love you guys. And I appreciate leadership that you guys bring to the show. Waltz, your creativity is stunning.

Boundless. Boundless. I know it's nice to come here and know that I'm gonna laugh. You guys bring to the show Walt's your creativity is stunning Boundless, I know it's nice to come here and know That I'm gonna laugh my ass off and whatever you came up with is gonna be funny and weird And really in so much that we have this family around this is because of you wall like you were the one that that has been snowballing all these Created something Weirdos have created something in my life that I'm essentially proud of. So thank you, Walt. I am in awe of you.

Thank you. Brian, what's to be said about a friendship as long as I was, saved my life. I've said that many times. And likewise. And coming down here and getting caustic. And it's like one of my favorite things in the world, man. And I love you and I will not ever leave this show.

I don't know how it's going to end, but I imagine death. And I want to thank you guys. I'm not going to cry like this big fucking pussy over here, but I would if I was capable. And thank you to most of the ants for the support. So thank you, that was important for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you both. I can't imagine never doing a TSD. I hope it is something that lasts until we're in wheelchairs. And someone's gotta wheel us into a room together and wheel

us out and yeah thank you both and tell them Steve Dave court adjourned you know I'm good I mean I don didn't, I didn't know if you wanted to. You know, I'm good. No, no, no. I mean, I don't know what I would do without this show, which means I don't know what I would do without either of you guys, because when I was in a very dark, dark place in my life, there were only two people who came to the rescue

and it was you guys. I know you thought that I wouldn't keep it up and I'd drop it like everything else I do, but I guess this is the one thing in life that I, you know, aside from people that I truly love and would not be possible without you guys. So I know that's more about me than about you, but yeah, love you both. I can't believe what we created. It's a weird little sort of like mini society,

like you said. Yeah. Like a little family. Yeah, it's like a dream come true. Like it's just so fucking odd because I can remember the first day that we started recording. To be here all these years later is fucking crazy, man.

I'm really proud of it. Yeah. I'm proud of us. All right, let me get you in the area. Let's see Jimmy's face tattoo Joseph can come in you. Oh. Whoa. Get him. Get him. How do you feel? I think it's a great picture for me. Look how look at the how sharp

it looks. It looks great. Excellent work, man. Yeah, it looks really good. You want to give a shout out to your your uh your business? Yeah. Do it on Mike. Do it on Mike. Yeah. Concrete tattoos, Elizabeth, New Jersey. Thank you, Joseph. All right, thank you. That is excellent line work. Do we have 10% off?

And the gams on Jimmy, oh no. I think I got my new Elvira. What about this Halloween? Is there a circumstance that you erase that or cover it? No? If he's a prick to you, you're going to be fine with it. Yeah, that's a good point. Excellent work. Tell him, Steve, Dave. Court adjourned.

Nice work, guys. Nice work. That was nuts. And I said, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,