Tell Em Steve-Dave - #607: BQE
Episode Date: September 15, 20249/11, Walt’s cruise, Q travels, Git ‘em gets a new job, Raygun, Dave Grohl, shirtless arrests....
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Hey, hey, hey, Walt here and it's time for that Patreon plug.
So last week we released a show called Sunday Drive and Sunday
Drive is a real simple premise.
Sunday Jeff and I take a drive to some destination and you get to tag along for the ride.
We've gone to pumpkin festivals.
One episode we traced back and visited all the long gone stores where Sunday
Jeff used to go on his toy hunts.
We went to a hardware store,
a grocery store. This episode, we went to the largest mall in New Jersey,
the Great American Dream Mall in East Rutherford. So let's hear a clip.
Like there just should have been something to commemorate that last day of the consecutive
thousand plus days of going to Toys R Us in a row. Something like some sort of like maybe like a parade in the parking lot.
Like the devil.
I'm on a float with Jeffrey.
He's like, you know this guy returned more than he bought, right?
As I'm returning.
How's that possible?
How's that possible?
As I'm bringing in the UPC starting to curl up off the original.
Hilarious, right?
So that's what came out last week.
What's coming out this Tuesday?
It's the return of third eye radio, radio, radio, radio, radio, radio.
Now for those who aren't familiar with that show, it's one of my personal favorites as
I get the ridiculous honor to get to sit
beside Monster Magnet's Dave Windorf and talk about some of the most inside baseball topics
anyone has ever discussed on a podcast. From 70s music, comics and movies, in this Tuesday's
episode, in an effort to squeeze as many varied topics as possible, we play third eye bingo.
So whatever topic matches the bingo ball, Dave and I break down that subject in depth.
Let's hear a clip so you get the full effect.
Our topic is Devo.
Oh, what?
I wasn't sure.
I wasn't sure if you're a fan or not, or can you admire if you're not a fan some of the
bizarre...
You got those praying hands. You admire, if you're not a fan, some of the bizarre... NANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANAN radio warning consuming too much third eye radio can turn you into a bad ass motherfucking 70s savant.
So please listen responsibly.
All right.
So if any of those, as well as the many, many other shows on the TSD
Patriot have piqued your interest, go join up today.
I mean, just Google tell them Steve, Dave, Patreon, and you can go sign up
today and listen to all that sweet, sweet TSD fun And just a little housekeeping before we get back to the show.
$60 ants, you have one poll that I desperately need you guys to go and fill out if you haven't done so already yet.
And $100 to your ants.
You have three polls that just went out recently that I really, really, really need you guys to get filled out so I can get the order into production, okay?
So $60 ants, please check your posts or your emails. $100 ants, please check yours as well
because I desperately need those sizes marked down so I can get to production rolling.
And if you guys don't go and vote for what size you want,
fortunately you're going to have to get a different gift then.
And I'm not sure what that will be but it won't be as good as the gift that I sent
the poll out for okay. Alright let's get back to TSD.
I was the young whippersnapper. Nice! This is where we play billiards. Yeah. And I fuck here. Me so horny. Yeah, some of my … Tell them Steve, Dave.
Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell them Steve, Dave.
Hey, Walt.
Hey.
And hey, Q.
Hey, y'all.
Q, just in.
Wow.
I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going
to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm
just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to
say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going
to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just
going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm
just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to
say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going
to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going
to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going
to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve Dave.
Hey, Walt.
Hey.
Hey Q.
Hey, y'all.
Q, just in.
Wow.
People don't think it's a sacrifice for you to do this show, but I feel like it sacrifices
some of your mental health a little bit at times.
At times.
I mean, I live approximately 14 miles from this office and then sometimes it just takes so long to get here because of the traffic.
But I'd rather do that than on Zoom.
Zoom's last resort.
Trevor Burrus But motherfucker, man.
Today.
Richard Lange Don't you think about getting a summer home
in Jersey?
Trevor Burrus Yeah.
Trevor Burrus 14 miles away from Israel.
Richard Lange A little chateau down by the shore?
Trevor Burrus Maybe I can sleep on that couch.
It's not day-to-day.
Richard Lange You have to share it. Maybe I can sleep on that couch.
It was a horrific car accident, but luckily my firehouse was at it, so I was able to get
around it a little lickety split.
It must feel so great to not be one of the suckers left behind, huh?
Yeah.
One of the guys who didn't put in the time to the firehouse.
Yeah.
Fuck you guys.
You deserve it.
You deserve it.
Yeah.
It's 913, man.
9-11, did you find that there was like very little said about it?
I looked in the post and like you had to go way down
to find anything about 9-11. Except for a story that said that they did like a poll
in Florida and like a lot of the kids like younger kids in Florida like did not know
what 9-11 was. I'm talking high school. Not like little kids.
In New York it's different and I'm still so involved with the fire department that
I always get, you know what I mean?
I don't think I'm the right guy to ask that.
I heard a stat that 27% of Americans who are on the planet right now weren't alive when
9-11 happened.
I saw a very nice ceremony last night.
I take the dogs out walking in Keyport right along the water and they
had a really nice tribute with bagpipes and everything. It was a nice little tribute that
they did down there. So I actually did see some.
Okay. So there's still some people out there acknowledging them.
I think there's a lot still.
Especially Tri-State area because so many people know people who died then and stuff Florida may not why did you why did you mention Florida?
So that's what I read in an article and it said that 20 or a lot of the kids didn't know
Yeah, Florida's it may not have been affected as
Yeah, I remember going down to Alabama as it was here
Right, I remember going down to Alabama right afterwards and there were like signs about it, but it
wasn't like here.
Yeah, it didn't feel like here.
So I don't know.
9-11.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I'm not surprised.
I mean like how much did we weep about Pearl Harbor growing up?
Yeah.
And it would have been like, what year was Pearl Harbor?
40, 41?
42?
42?
Yeah. Let's see. Okay. So? 40, 41? Uh, 42? 40, 42.
Yeah.
Okay.
So 61, 71.
Yeah.
So it wouldn't have been that much longer.
41.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
We got into it.
All right.
It wouldn't have been that much longer than 9-11 to right now.
So yeah, we were not fucking, we weren't weeping about Pearl Harbor.
You're right.
No, we didn't, we didn't experience it it, so it's hard, I guess, to...
Well, also right after Pearl Harbor, we were in World War II, so there were a lot of other
things to talk about, you know what I mean?
We kind of got him back.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Get him on the mic.
I know.
He's back. Unprompted. People. Yeah. Get him on the mic. I know. Chime it in on... He's back.
...unprompted. People love that.
Keep doing that.
You want to get him. Don't let him take your win away.
Somebody went on a big trip.
Where'd you go?
Was not me.
Who went where? Walt?
Nine day cruise.
Yeah.
Uh, I did exactly what you said, Q.
I decided I was going to try to go offline.
Oh, good.
And I believe I haven't slept as much in a nine day period since I
was an infant. Oh, nice. That's good thing. Yeah, well rested every day like long ass
naps in the middle of the day just taking a nap and not waking up till about 430.
Sounds so nice. We're then running up to the
windjammer, which is the, I guess, the buffet.
Okay.
Food and everything.
Yeah, yeah.
Found out that, yeah, they have chocolate chip cookies on day one, but then by day two,
that's long past.
No more chocolate chip cookies, and it's all oatmeal and raisin cookies.
What the fuck's going on?
Yeah.
But it was a good time.
Good time. I went to Boston, saw Fenway Park. It took a tour of Fenway Park. Oh, raisin cookies. What the fuck's going on? Yeah. But it was a good time. Good time.
I went to Boston, saw Fenway Park.
It took a tour of Fenway Park.
Oh, cool.
The green, the giant green monster.
The monster.
Yeah.
It was cool.
And it's nice.
The tour guys, there was two older guys, they hate New York.
Yeah.
And they had to take any reason to take a shot at New York. They found out, they're
asking, where are you from? Where are you from? I said, where am I from? They're like,
oh, you're from. I was like, no, I fucking hate you. I hate all New York teams. I'm piling on. I
said, I relish this. I revel in this. It was weird because I had my duffel bag. We took an excursion off the boat into Boston and I had this empty old 1988 Devil's Canvas
bag and I brought it with me because my wife was like, bring a bag just in case we buy
something and you will have something to carry it in.
So that was the first thing we did was we went on the Fenway Park tour and immediately
the guy's like,
can't bring that bag in here.
No bags.
And I was like, what would I do with my bag?
And he was like, well, you could bring it over to this somewhere.
It's like four blocks over.
And I'm like, forget it, I said.
So I went into this store that was next door,
like a souvenir store for like Boston Red Sox,
everything, and I hid it in the merchandise. Wow. Nice. Yeah, that was next door, like a souvenir store for Boston Red Sox, shit and everything.
And I hid it in the merchandise.
Wow!
Nice!
I like this.
And my wife was going like, you look so suspicious over here.
You're looking around.
I'm looking around for the – it was basketball t-shirts, like Boston Celtics.
I'm like, it's not basketball season.
Yeah, you're probably safe.
Who's going to come over here at 10 o'clock in the morning
and file through these shirts?
So I stuffed it in between, the shirts were so thick,
I kind of had it so like in between shirts holding it up
so it didn't touch the floor.
Nice.
Yeah.
Loose work.
I'm sure they were like, is he taking something?
I was like, no, he's leaving something, I don't know why.
He's positing over here.
And then we went to Maine, we did an excursion in Maine.
Woo, Maine is beautiful.
Maine is where you'll see some really wealthy, beautiful homes.
Other than that, man, there is a dearth of shit to fucking go on a tour and hear about.
In Maine, yeah.
In Maine.
I mean, they had like the, they kept talking about this one fucking poet for like a half hour.
That's all they got.
Some guy named Waddle or something.
I was like, here's a rock where it signifies where his mother gave birth to him.
I was like, here's his home over here.
I'm just like, holy shit, we've been on this bus for a half hour and all we've heard about
is this one poet.
It got so bad at one point.
There's like this house over here right along the water.
A young couple moved in there last year and the house got flooded and they haven't been
able to move back in since.
Oh no, so like local problems?
So then they come around.
They go around the band and he's like, now you've been able to see the house from the other side.
He goes.
It's a real shame insurance wouldn't cover that.
Wow, yeah.
All right.
But they – you got to have Moolah to live in Maine it looks like.
Oh, I imagine so, yeah.
Holy shit, the homes are beautiful.
But other than that, there isn't much out there except if you like to go lobstering and fishing.
Or you're real outdoorsy hunting and maple syrup tapping.
I was shocked at how little there was to talk about on the main tour.
The bushes live there.
Okay.
45 and 52, I don't know what the fuck. They have the numbers, the Bush numbers.
Yeah, I don't think it's 45.
Get them.
43 and I think 41.
41 and 43. They kept talking about the Bushes. I think the Bushes, it's's been long enough now, where people don't despise them.
Oh, it's crazy. Dude, I went to a dinner this week, Tuesday night, while the debates were on. I was
at a dinner in Manhattan and people were talking about the debates and the most hardest of hardcore
liberals that I know. Trump has, they hate him so much that anybody else is great. And now he's a cute old man.
Now he's a village idiot.
I heard all this on the other night.
All this stuff about it.
Yeah, they love him now.
I think it's because him and Michelle Obama kind of buddied up so it's off into his image.
Yeah.
I think also people were like, Cheney was running the show.
Something's wrong.
It was his problem.
And 41 is no longer with us, right?
No.
So then we went to St. John's in Canada.
Woo.
There ain't nothing to do there either.
You thought Maine was slow.
They don't even have a hollowed out house to show you.
We took an hour ride on a parkway to a little fishing village where only 500 people live,
which you'd think would be, I guess, interesting. You could look at everything in 20 minutes and
you're like, all right, well, what now? We get back on the bus, we go back for another hour and
a half drive. Yeah, so there wasn't much to do but I did save another old lady.
Again?
Again, it happened again.
We were – I don't know if it was Maine or St. John's.
He's like Michael Landon in that angel show.
He just walks the earth and helps old people.
Yeah, highway to heaven.
So they let us out on the bus which I think was irresponsible because there was these
really smooth rock formations that they look like soft dough.
Whatever the weathering of the rocks had done in this location of St. John's or – I
can't remember where it was now.
They all bleed together at one point. And they almost like call to you to be like,
you know, you can walk on me and it'll be fine.
You know?
And I guess people in their 80s
forget they're in their 80s.
And when this lady got out there,
she was like, I can't get back, she goes.
And I'm just like, I look at our tour guide
and I'm like, okay, she's older
than the lady who can't get back.
Right.
Also another thing on this cruise, I was the young whippersnapper.
Nice!
That's a good feeling.
The only one walking the boat at 8.30.
Looking for a cookie.
Still taking naps though.
Everybody was treating me like Frankie Valley on the boat, man.
Like a rock star because I was still able to walk without a fucking walker or one of those rascals.
Look at this athlete.
So I had to help this old lady get back.
And at one point I'm like, this is fucking
treacherous, like, like how bad is it going to be
if she fucking can't make it and she falls on these rocks?
She's got to try to take you with her.
Oh yeah.
So we finally get back and, um, we get back on the boat and she keeps calling me her hero and everything.
And, but I mean, the fuck a tour guide got more applause than I did, you know,
yeah.
So I've ever saw me fucking bring her back into the bus.
Like nobody gave you a tip or anything.
Everybody gave the tour guide a tip
Save the human being's life. It's fucked up. You just see Bon Jovi talk someone off that
Single news article about the other hero
Found a great comic book store, Strange Adventures.
I believe that was.
Great name already, yeah.
I believe that was in Nova Scotia and I could not believe the fucking store that is in the
middle of nowhere.
Yeah.
Like with an unbelievable selection.
Found the book I was looking for for years.
I could find it on eBay but I want to pay these prices on eBay prices.
I found it for cover price.
Oh, what book?
It was called Before the Darkness Legion of Superheroes Hardcover.
Okay.
And it goes to like 200 on eBay.
I got it for 50 fucking bucks.
We still got it.
Yeah.
Just in case.
If this was the old day, that'd be up for sale 200 bucks in the stash.
And basically a lot of sleeping, a lot of maxing and relaxing.
Feel good about it?
Yeah, it went quite quick.
I thought it was going to like crawl, but nine days didn't really take all that long.
I didn't hear from Gittum once.
Whoa.
Nine straight days out here.
You were right over there.
Yeah.
I was following him online.
Oh, were you following the boat?
Yeah.
He put an air tag.
Because it's weird.
He's been in between two shirts, two t-shirts in Boston for an hour.
For almost two hours he hasn't moved.
I wonder if he took another nap.
It's weird your approach because I feel like I'm like, I'm going to go to the bathroom,
I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going
to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the
bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom,
I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to
the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom,
I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to
the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom,
I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to
the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom,
I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to
the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom,
I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to the bathroom, I wonder if he took another nap.
It's weird your approach because I feel like I might go next door to the shop and be like,
hey, is it all right if I leave my bag under your counter?
There's nothing in it.
Oh, because I saw people doing that.
Oh, you saw people doing that?
I saw people doing like, can I leave my bag?
Because a lot of people had bags.
Yeah.
And everyone would go, we're not going to be responsible for the bag.
They were fucking so immediately aggressive telling you, we're not going to be responsible for the bag. They were fucking so immediately aggressive telling you,
we're not going to be responsible for your fucking bags.
You're not even buying anything in here.
No, leave.
So I was just.
Understandable.
Yeah.
I get it.
I'm going to hide it.
And if it's not there, it's not there, I told Deb.
I was like, I'll roll the dice, I said.
If it's not there and someone finds it and confiscates it or takes it, I go,
what am I gonna do?
But at least this way, there's still a shot.
Yeah.
I'm not just like throwing it out
because some people just threw their bags out.
Yeah, that's crazy.
But you did the right thing, bud.
You saved an old woman.
Yeah.
That's a second old lady that I've helped on a cruise.
Damsel's in distress.
So then I thought like, you know, that karma would cut off. I saw this older lady,
she was on the boat by herself. I saw her every night in the casino and she had a crew hand
like following her around with a fucking glass suitcase, see-through suitcase of chips.
She had that much money.
And so on the first night I saw her at the blackjack table, I
watched her play and everything.
And I was watching her, what she was doing.
And then the second night I see her and she's got this suitcase.
So then I start, I finally am like, all right, I'm going to, I'm going
to actually talk to her and see like, hey, did you win all that money?
She goes, yes.
I said, did you just win that since last night when I saw you here?
She looked at me and she looked at the dealer.
I think she was just like, stop bothering me.
Really?
Usually winners like talking about their likes.
How did you win all that money, I said?
And she's just like, I like to play.
And she just turns around and she goes, I'm going to another table.
Oh, really?
And I was just like...
I go, no, no, no, I'm not even playing, I said.
I go, no, no, stay, please.
I go, I don't mean to make you go to another table, I said.
And she just disregarded it and went to another table.
I felt horrible.
You fucked up her juju, man.
This table's cold.
Here comes the cooler.
If she was out on the rocks, you wouldn't let her die.
I watched – she was on the excursion too.
She –
Giving you dirty looks over her shoulder.
She took the cruise by herself though.
She had to be in her 80s.
Good for her. And I wonder though, like what, how did she accumulate all this money to put it
all, either she won all that money in the, in the bingo, in the, not the bingo
chips, but the chips or she just cashed it all in and that's what she's going
to be playing with on the, on the boat.
She probably got a line of credit on the boat and stuff like that.
You could do that.
You could open up that and they just give you the chips.
It had to be $10,000 in chips.
Yeah. But to get to me and you, that's an insane amount of money to gamble. To people
who love gambling, that is nothing. It's starting. Gato loves to gamble. I lose $1,000 and I
fucking hate myself. I'm literally like-
A thousand?
Yeah. I lost 20
I was fucking about to throw myself over
I'll do 20 without without a problem like around 500. I start I stop having fun
Okay, and I'm trying to like win that back and then it's a thousand
I want to throw myself off a fucking cliff or something like that. You come downstairs like Gatto
I'll say goodnight to him in Vegas and like I'll wake up the next morning. He'll still be going and
My tour manager like sometimes I'll wake up. It'd be like I'm up 15 grand. I'm down eight grand
I'm like, this is nuts. I don't get it man. They do it. They love it. I watched a
Guy I went down to the bar because they mean the casino, because they had the football
game on.
You couldn't get the football game in your room, which I thought was fucking bogus.
They don't want you in your room.
Yeah, but I'm like, I want to watch it in my room.
I'm like, I don't want to watch it on the big screen.
Get out and spend money.
They had it on the big screen on the top deck.
Was this Brady's?
No, this was the first game of the year, Ravens and Cheeps.
Okay, it wasn't Brady's.
No, it wasn't Brady's debut as a broadcast.
I did see that.
Was it any good?
I was curious about your opinion.
I don't think he was bad.
I don't think he stood out.
That's his first time.
I mean, yeah, I don't think he did a bad job.
I don't think he did a great job.
I think he had a poor matchup.
Okay.
He had Dallas and Cleveland, not a sexy matchup.
Dallas destroyed Cleveland. So
Maybe in a more exciting game, he would have a little bit more to work with but I
Don't think he embarrassed himself at all. I heard I saw people online saying he was shit. It was garbage Oh really? Yeah, yeah, but so that you could watch that first game up on the on the top deck, but it's fucking September
It's cold. It's cold.
It's cold, it's windy.
It's 10 o'clock at night on the ocean.
It was way too uncomfortable,
so I went down and watched it in the casino,
and I sat at a table that was closed,
a card table, and I watched another guy who was doing,
what's that thing where the thing spins?
The roulette.
I watched an Asian guy.
I was texting Frank while it was going on. He texted me how it was going.
And I took, I was sneaking pictures of this guy who was
gambling with like so much fucking money.
And Frank called it.
He goes, by the end of the game, he goes, he
won't have any of that money left.
And it was like 10 minutes left in the game.
And I was like, I took it.
I go update.
He fucking lost it all.
Is he busted?
Oh my God. He played for three hours, but he lost that giant pile of chips, which goes to show you
that it is fucking a scam.
One of the reasons I don't like to gamble is because I know I'm not the guy that's
going to walk away being like, I can't believe how up I am.
I know why not.
Why not you?
I don't know.
I don't know. But there's something with me that I'm like, I know I'm going to walk away and be like, I can't believe how up I am. I know why not me. Why not you? I don't know, I don't know, but there's something with me that I'm like,
I know I'm gonna walk away and be like,
I can't believe I spent that money.
I saw a lady win $10,000,
she went absolutely apeshit, just doing the slots.
Really?
She was like, yeah, she was having an orgasm.
Oh God.
And she was like, I can't believe it, oh my God,
oh my God, oh my God.
And I kind of walked around the corner,
I was like, what's she yelling about?
Like she just won $10,000. And this casino had just opened because I guess they had to wait
till they're outside certain amount of waters. And she must've played only like fucking
two roles and she fucking won 10 grand.
Now, if you do that or say Deb does that.
Deb did one. She won 350 on bingo.
She's a winner, man. She's always winning money.
I was sleeping and she was so mad at me. She was like, where were you?
Because I was supposed to go down and meet her before the bingo game started.
I fell asleep again. She goes, I won $350.
I was like, so what's the problem? She goes, I had too many bingo boards to monitor.
She was saying I needed to help her. She said she brought too many.
But she won all one of them. Good for her, man.
Yeah, but why not you though?
I don't know.
There's some sort of cloud that lingers over me.
I think – you saw the movie The Cooler, right, with William H. Macy?
I did.
I've seen the trailer.
Okay.
So it's about a guy who has such bad luck and is such a fucking loser.
The casino hires him to go to winning tables and just sort
of fucking.
Is this a true story?
No, this is a movie.
Oh, okay. I thought it was, it's not based on a true story. Because there's no such thing.
No, I've heard in real life they have coolers though. I've heard in real life they do.
No way. Can you imagine the fucking guy who gets like, yeah, you walk in, you're like,
well.
Professional loser.
Yeah. Like I'd like to believe I'm not that guy. I might not win.
I'm also like, I don't know the rules enough to like, something like the slots, it's easy.
You just push the button and it does all the work for you.
But there are like in Black Jack or the poker tables or even roulette, there's certain strategies
I guess you used in order to up your chances of winning and
I don't know them.
I just know myself like I've gambled before.
So why do you need to know it inside and out though?
I think you can still win without being a fucking expert though.
Without being a pro?
I don't know.
I feel like I don't have the knowledge.
Blackjack can piss people off if you don't know.
I know.
I played my first time ever playing at a blackjack table with a real dealer.
It was on the cruise.
I won.
I won 75 bucks one night.
Hey, not bad.
I walked away.
How much per hand do you play?
It was a minimum was 10.
10?
Yeah, which is tough.
I was like, all right, I'm going to limit this to 50 bucks.
If I lose the 50, I'm out of here.
I wound up winning 75, I think.
Nice $5.
$5 is a number I'll play all night.
You get the 10, God forbid they only have the 25 table open.
They did have – they had $15 tables, they had 10 and they had $100 tables.
There was only one man at a $100 table and I just wanted to know what?
What does he do for a living?
What does he do that he's this – and he looked like –
Yeah.
Looked like a rich guy?
No.
He just looked like something out of a Marlboro fucking cigarette ad.
He just looked like a guy who's tough, who fucking could take the fucking loss and still
fucking come up like – wouldn't affect him.
He just looked tougher than nails.
Right.
He's probably got like some ranch somewhere,
you know, fucking million acres.
But yeah, $100 a hand.
That's fucking-
That would be stomach churning.
I wouldn't be able to do it.
Yeah.
Wouldn't be able to do it.
Very quickly, I'm sorry we have to double up.
We weren't here last week.
Apologies for that, but we've got world travelers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You went away too?
I was in, uh, I was in, uh, the keys, the Florida keys.
You love the keys.
Don't you?
That's where you got to get your second house.
That is, I am getting the problem with the fucking keys right now is there's a
house down there when the first time you and I went like early 2000s late
90s, there was a house that was for sale for like 300 and something. It is now two and
a half million dollars.
Right.
And it hasn't been updated. And it's like that's just it down there. Like everything's
so fucking expensive that it's almost like, I don't want to, you know what I mean? I
know houses is an investment and you can always just sell and get your money back, but like, I don't know. you know what I mean I know house is an investment and you can always just selling get your money back
But like I don't know no taxes in Florida. This is true
Well, I wouldn't do it till the show ended anyway, so I wouldn't you know, I'm missing out on that scam anyway
But I do love it. I love it down there. It's beautiful
It's just the fucking best and now when I go to to QS
I know so many of the bar owners and restaurant owners that
it's nice. I would go out to dinner with different people every night and hang out
and they tell me stories of the island and stuff. It's nice. I get totally fucking relaxed
down there, man. Now they have these golf carts, dude. I just fucking rent one of those
for a week and I'm just cruising around the Keys on a fucking golf cart. It's the best
feeling, man.
Yeah. Last time I went with you, you got the golf cart and it's so much easier
than a car. It's easier to park. It's open. So it's nice. You can yell at people. Apparently
you can drive them drunk too because a lot of people seem to be
Yes, I can confirm.
…neviriated.
A lot of people driving around down there having a few… People just driving them and
holding the to-go code of like going around. But yeah, I do down there. I saw Beetlejuice
while I was down there.
The movie?
The new one?
Yeah, good.
I liked it, I really fucking enjoyed it.
I really had a good time.
They show, no spoilers, but what did you think?
They showed Beetlejuice who he was when he was alive?
Oh, oh yeah.
God, dude, I thought it was one of the funniest things
I had seen in theaters in a long time.
It's so fucking funny when they cut back to his old life and I was like embarrassing myself
laughing so hard in the theater.
Yeah.
I took Sage to go see it.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, she liked it. She liked a lot. Well, she had never seen the first one. Neither
Mary Beth. So we watched the first one and then the next day we went to see the updated one,
which it's like 88, man. That is a long time between sequels.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is a long time.
Oh, I forgot to mention, I saw the Barnabas house.
Remember Dark Shadows?
Oh, Dark Shadows?
Oh yeah.
Yeah, in Maine, they did it during the tour.
They showed us the house that Barnabas lived in and the opening of the, of
Dark Shadows for, and the lady with the tour guy was like, and for those who
Maine remember Dark Shadows, I was like, everybody fucking on here is going
to remember that.
I'm the only one that has vague memories of it.
Everybody out here was in their fucking teens.
They were watching our soap, their soaps.
Did they hammer you over the head with Stephen King stuff or not really?
No.
No?
No, never even once was he mentioned.
Wow.
Yeah.
The Bushes were mentioned constantly.
No Stephen King, no.
I went to a butterfly conservatory.
Wow.
Yeah.
I walked around a room with thousands of butterflies.
You weren't dragged to it by a lady?
No, I-
It sounds like a chocolate walk type situation.
No, every time, because it's been there for decades and I've never gone and I was like fuck it like let me let me just go check it out because I've been to them before and
they were beautiful and it was fucking amazing. So I was like just sitting there.
You let them land on you?
I'll do whatever they want. It's so peaceful and beautiful.
It's not for you?
Not for me. I want the mommy.
You know some butterflies drink blood.
That's all right, man. Like if I was talking to a kid who works there, he's like in his early 20s and he's like,
because I used to be so depressed until I started working here.
He's like, now it's like I spend my day surrounded by birds and butterfly and they pipe in like
calming music and stuff.
And he's like, it feels so nice to come to work and be here.
I was like, I don't blame you, man.
It's pretty beautiful. They have like little things where they hang up all the egg, the nest things
and you could watch them if you stand long enough, they break out and you see a butterfly
getting born.
Well, isn't it born as a worm?
Yeah, but then they build the cocoon. You see them coming out of the cocoon.
So you see the slimy little worm coming out.
No, there is no slimy worm. It's a butterfly at that point.
It's a butterfly?
That's what I'm saying.
It comes out of it.
Yeah, they come out and you see their wings come out.
And I was like, man, I was like...
You know they only live for a day?
Ten days.
Ten days.
That's how long butterflies live?
That's like, you should have told that kid when he was like,
it's so fucking awesome. I'm not depressed.
Well, you know they live for ten days.
Yeah.
You're essentially a human butterfly.
You know that, right, buddy?
I hear some of them make a 10. I'm like, I'm going to crush this fucking kid.
Oh, you feel good, huh?
All your doomed friends lying around you.
If only I knew that's what it took.
Not all the medication, not all the therapy and shit,
just some butterflies.
Yeah, yeah. And suddenly and shit, just some butterflies. Yeah. Yeah.
Suddenly, your whole life can turn around.
Yeah, it's beautiful.
Yeah.
Yeah, so last week we weren't able to do it.
Right.
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I did want to – I'm surprised that it hasn't come up yet because he does have
his mic. So I thought maybe that's why he was mic'd up today so he could tell you
guys that he – in our absence since – last time you guys were here and I was on a vacation I came back to find out that Gittem has been deputized by
the management as a security guard who goes on rounds. They asked him if he could go on
rounds two rounds a night to make sure there's no homeless
people or any shenanigans going on in the plaza for no compensation.
He gets nothing out of it.
Why would you do that?
Because I'm here the latest.
Yeah, but you're taking up, you're putting yourself in like a con, what happens if you
get there and there's like a homeless dude just sleeping there?
I call the cops and then wait outside for them too.
So what time, what are your two rounds?
At eight o'clock I start locking the doors.
You go around, you make sure everything's locked?
I make sure everything's locked, yeah.
I have a sweep.
But what are you looking for?
I locked the doors.
Yeah, but what are you looking for?
Make sure there's no, he's not hiding somewhere. He? Yes. There's one specific guy that you're
on the lookout for? Yeah, we had him three times in four days. Well, what does he do?
He sleeps under the, the divan over in the back corner there. So what else does he do?
He goes to the cigarette ashtrays and pulls out like the half smoked cigarettes. Well,
what does he do that's bothering you?
He's sleeping here.
So that seems a bit hypocritical to me.
What are you pulling the ladder out once you get to the fucking top?
But he takes it so seriously that I said, I asked him, you want to go see?
Michelle is a, is, has joined a band that he's performing this Saturday. It's like you want to go see Michelle's band play
Yeah, because while I got my rounds
It's in my blood. Just like you fight fire
I
Have a photo fire in over ten years
But if I think if he had had this job, he was doing it for a year
He might be able to take a day off
But this is like not even a month and you want to take a fucking you know, take a sick day
to take a fucking, you know, take a sick day already from a job he has to get me. Just don't give a fuck.
How would they know?
Like how would they even know?
They would never know.
They test me.
What would they say if they did though?
They got nothing to say.
They're like, oh, I had to go out that night.
They're like, but, you're the deputy.
A true fucking Barney Fife. There has never been another than this guy.
This was the first night he was here. I thought it was warm except for he's barefoot.
Oh, he's sleeping inside the building.
Yes.
Okay. That's a problem. Yeah.
And I worry like, you know, what if he sleeps late and then like one of the other tenants comes in
and surprises him and he's like-
You worry about that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So what's your-
The yarn lady. You know, we don Yeah. Yeah. So what you're-
We are a lady.
You know, we don't want, we don't need that in her life.
No, Ron, whatever this fucking guy's name is.
Well, he's on our shit list.
Yeah.
He was complaining about the hallway clutter and.
Yeah.
So what's your move?
What did they tell you to do
should you come across this guy?
Not to confront him, of course.
Well, what I do is I try to make a lot of noise
and then I give him five minutes to leave.
And if he's not gone by five minutes, then I call the cops.
Just farting in the air, trying to wake him up.
Well, like the other night I was taking out the trash.
I shaked the trash bag, which is all full and empty, so it jingles.
They're not sure who the homeless person is when a cop shows up.
That's like a dinner bell to you guys. You guys
Referred some as you guys They're kin. They're kindred spirits.
Oh, that's funny.
I mean, I can do it because I have been taken for a homeless person.
Yeah.
Me and Gideon were out. I told you, I swear. We were in KFC and some guy walked in.
Oh, yeah.
I was like, hey, you guys, I don't take offense,
but I'm going to give you guys some money. And I'm like, what?
I'm like, okay.
Wow. How did this come about? Who...
I found the guy was leaving one night. I found the guy. I called the cops. Usually,
they call one time and they don't come back. Then the second night night he was there. And like I said, I should know his name, but I
shook the bag, like I said, as I was leaving,
make, you know, and he kind of moved his head a
little, so I know he knew I was there.
And then I went outside through the trash bag out
and I watched the doors.
He didn't leave.
So then I called the cops again.
And then it happened a third time and I reached
out to our maintenance guy and I'm like, I don't
want to cause any problems.
I said, but, um but the front door key lock
It said my my key doesn't work. I go did the locks get changed. He said no
so
We realized the key when the key got copied that they gave us the wrong blank. You didn't need to tell all this
But I had had our it got escalated to the property manager, Jill.
And she's like, she was like, she deputized them on the spot.
She's like, everyone's supposed to lock the door when they leave.
No one's been doing it.
You know, I'm getting very upset.
She's like, make sure the doors are locked.
If only I had a fucking snitch on my side.
Only if there was a fucking sellout snitch that I could deputize.
There it was. So she gave me the key and, you know, it's in my job sense. I saw only if there was a fucking sellout snitch that I could deputize.
There it was.
She gave me the key and yeah, that's what my job says.
She asked him and she said, can you do a little sweep?
Can't even get us a break on the rent?
Multiple sweeps per night?
Yeah, it's shocking that there's nothing offered in return.
Like not even pay, like we'll knock 25 bucks off your rent per month or something like
that. I mean, do we need to be compensated for everything, just being good neighbors or tenants?
Is that a just being a good neighbor?
Being a good neighbor is like keeping an eye out for your neighbor.
If like, hey, somebody's like on their porch taking their package, not like I'm now committed
to two nightly rounds walking around and like checking locks like I'm an old school like
cop or something.
He's been going around to the local businesses, seeing if they want to do a neighborhood watch
thing.
They all go around and they patrol together.
The Jersey coin guy is just like, I thought you guys were coming for me.
Sweating bullets.
We rocked out the other night.
Yes.
Yeah.
You went to see Alice Cooper, right?
Zombie.
Yeah, zombie.
How was that?
PNC?
PNC.
Good times.
Yeah.
A lot of people.
A lot of people went.
A lot of residents.
All, what's it called?
All orchestrated or who was the, what do you call them?
The facilitator?
Yeah, Jimmy the Hair Guy.
Jimmy the Hair Guy.
Yeah, man.
They brought us all out together.
Nice, man.
Do you wonder why he didn't ask you?
Well, I thought I wasn't around, right?
You weren't around, but we got these tickets a long time ago, so he wouldn't have known.
Do you know why he didn't ask me?
He told me he thought that you can't hang like a normal person.
That's not true.
No, he told me you didn't have your phone number.
That's definitely true.
Chuck does.
Chuck got to reach out.
Anybody he didn't ask, he said, I asked everybody I had a number for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it.
The person that he asked that I'm like, look, I know he likes to drive.
I know he doesn't mind taking a six hour ride to come down and hang out.
But Frank Five at that concert, I was like, bro.
Yeah, because he's not a fan of either one.
Either one, yeah.
I was like, why did you even know?
He's on his phone the whole time.
Yeah, sitting down.
Sitting down on his phone the whole time. How's Cooper still got it? I mean, how old is he now?
78.
Yeah, he's still got it. Yeah, I think that has to be the key to staying as young and vibrant as
he is. It has to be the performing on that level every night. It's got to be some sort of exlex
clear. How do you say that?
Elixir?
Elixir.
Elixir. There we go.
Yeah. Yeah, he's not slowing down. Death has got to catch him. He's not just waiting
around.
Yeah, and he's got the young bride, the young wife that he likes to show off.
That's not his.
That's not his wife?
That's his daughter.
Oh, that's his daughter?
Yeah.
Oh, because he's like, she belongs all to me. It made it sound like it was his wife.
That's his daughter. It took over the role that his wife used to have that role.
Okay.
So maybe I have seen his wife do it in the past then.
Did she do it in a, was it his wife or his daughter in the last time we saw them?
It was only a year ago.
Yeah.
That was also his daughter?
Doing what?
She just comes out and does this like.
This Marie Antoinette.
Yeah.
And because like they do the guillotine.
Didn't we see him with Troy? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah It's Marie Antoinette. Yeah. And cause like they do the guillotine.
Didn't we see him with Troy?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
That's our, got it.
Yeah, that's his daughter.
She's mine, I think, because that's his daughter.
Okay.
It works for wife or daughter, I guess.
I guess so.
She's all mine.
I take that as a wife, but I don't know.
You would.
Yeah.
This is the butterfly. There's a webcam in it. See how peaceful that looks, Paul? Yeah, but I don't know. You would. Yeah. This is the butterfly.
There's a webcam.
See how peaceful that looks, Paul?
Yeah, I've been in one.
There's flamingos walking around.
We're looking at butterfly conservatory.
Starlet and Rhett are their names, the two flamingos.
I'm surprised.
I guess they have to do some... They have to know their shit, though, that they don't
put any kind of birds in there that are going to eat butterflies.
Tons of birds in there.
Yeah, but none that would eat them.
Then again, I guess
they do eat a butterfly every once in a while.
They've got it, right?
Yeah. They get new cocoons in weekly. They buy them from a farm because they die after
10 days. Oh, they got the sounds going. They eat birds. Yeah, beautiful stuff. If you're
down in Key West, hit the Key West Butterfly Nature Conservatory. They
actually even let me in. It was so beautiful, Walt, that I took some pictures with the staff.
They let me in for free. When I walked out, I was like, I want to pay for tickets because
I want to help support what they're doing there because it was so – I didn't realize
the tickets were 17 bucks each. I thought it was like 5, 10. I'm not gonna reevaluate it, but.
You are the fucking king of fucking Key West.
Yeah, no.
He's the king of Key West,
he's the king of Staten Island.
Yeah, no, that's Pete Davidson.
No, I think I've graduated to like a beloved local,
like, I'm not the king of anything.
You're like this adopted home.
They like when I come down.
Ambassador?
Yeah, but I don't think, no, I don't think that. I think they just, it is nice when I'm not the king of anything. You're like this adopted home. They like when I come down. Ambassador? Yeah, but I don't think that, no, I don't think that.
I think they just, it is nice when I'm down there for some of my friends down there.
I don't think anybody looks at me like a local.
I'm not getting local discounts.
I'm like the fucking pancakes and shit like that.
But at this point I try to get down to the Keys like two, three times a year.
I just got to get, I just got to retire down there, man.
I wonder how, I mean, I guess it must be far less crowded during the winter, right?
No, the winter is actually more crowded.
Really?
Because when I went down there, it was loony getting in and out of there.
I drove in and out.
Well, yeah, they only have that one road.
You got in an accident, like you're fucked.
It's like me trying to get off Staten Island.
Yeah, it's like a 100-mile road.
Yeah, you're drawn to these places where there's only one road in and one road out.
Why fly in, you know?
Yeah.
There's more than one road off Staten Island. That's just the one road that brings you down here.
Yeah. Oh, once they started direct flights from Newark to the Keys, like I just started
going down as much as I can.
Beautiful.
Good time.
Good times, man.
I, um, was wondering if you guys saw this, the, you know, Rachel Reagan,
the break dancer. Oh yes, that's right. I'm reading that the drama has arguably taken its
biggest twist after she returned home. She touched down in Sydney on the same day she
was revealed as the new world number one break dancer.
Now she made worldwide headlines following her divisive performances where she saw her finish second to last.
The only person she beat was somebody who got disqualified.
Okay.
Despite those displays, which resulted her in failing to register a single point, the
World Dance Sport Federation released the latest rankings with her sitting on top of the list.
This doesn't make sense to me.
She was catapulted into the number one world ranking thanks to the thousand points she
claimed for winning the Oceana WDSF Oceana Championship which booked her a spot in the
Olympics.
And then there's four Aussies find themselves on the top eight with her.
But the people who won the Olympics, it says the three women who took home
medals in Paris failed to appear on the list with no points offered for world
rankings. So does this make you take this, uh,
world dance sport Federation a little less seriously when they put her?
Did anybody ever take it seriously to begin with?
I don't know.
They're a Federation. So I don't know. I mean, I mean. When you're starting at zero, how much lower could you go? Yeah, they're a federation, so I don't know.
I mean, it seems official, right?
Yeah, but I mean, before the Olympics, did this federation.
Who was acknowledging this?
Who was even, you know, looking at the daily stats.
Well, who's the number one dancer this week?
Who's ranked number one?
Yeah.
And who's the judge?
Look at the picture of her.
It's so great.
Like a dinosaur.
It's so funny, man.
Did you guys hear about Dave Grohl?
I did.
Yeah, I heard about this.
I – the only reason I even clicked on this story was because I said to myself, why on
earth is he breaking the news?
It's like why would he break this news?
Are you so like desperate for attention that you – Oh, no. That's like, why would you break this news? Are you so desperate for attention that you-
Oh no, that's not what I got.
I got like, this motherfucker's wife is riding his balls.
He got caught.
Yeah, he got caught, man.
So, James Rowe had a child at a wedlock.
So, I'm gonna reveal to the world this?
Cause doesn't that just make it even more hard to-
Well, I thought it was like,
there's no way you could keep it quiet.
It's gonna come out eventually.
So, I'm sure his, like he is gotta be fucking on all fucking like
high alert with his wife.
He's trying to save his family.
I understand that.
So wouldn't it, wouldn't the smart move to be is like, I don't want this.
Like, I can't imagine like, I think this, like if another rock star
has a baby at a wedlock does the world even notice?
Like why on earth bring this to the forefront and make this a big deal?
Like I've got social media. Well only cuz it's gonna come out eventually
I think and when it comes out, I think the world goes yawn. I
Think what he did was just like let me just just rip the bandaid off, get it out,
and I don't have to fucking talk about this again.
Probably.
Yeah. Oh yeah. There's a lot of talking about this at home to do. Yeah. That fucking poor
bastard is in hell. Anytime you see Dave Grohl, you know that man's in hell now for the next
five years.
Yeah. I saw a picture with him and his wife and his two daughters, and the two daughters
did not look happy in the least.
I've heard they closed all their social media accounts.
That seems like overreaction.
Again though, why bring this to the forefront?
Part of the statement was like please respect the family's privacy. So it's- When I clicked on the comments, it is fucking crazy how the world is so happy to revel in
someone else's misery.
Holy shit, the comments that were being left.
I was like, what a miserable fucking society we are.
I thought he was beloved too.
He was.
Well, I think that's part of it.
He's known for being-
Super nice guy.
And he is a nice guy. I've never, I don't have, but I know people that have worked with
him and they're like, he's the best.
Yeah.
So-
Well, he did just piss off a certain segment of the American population by going after
a certain candidate for using their songs in his campaigns.
Maybe that could-
So-
But I swear to God though, some of the fucking heinous shit like comments being left on there,
I was just like, how miserable do you have to be to be this happy that?
It's why I don't someone's fucking dude. It's why you never see him on social media anymore
You never see me on fucking read it anymore like I never do anything because people are just nasty fucks. They fucking were reveling in this guy's
Mistake or whatever you want to call it his I I his, I, I, I don't want to call it a
downfall because I'm like, like who the fuck's not going to buy this next album?
Nobody gives a fuck.
Yeah.
Who's not going to buy the album?
If you're a fan, you're a fan.
I can't imagine this stops you from being a fan.
Yeah, but I think it goes back to what I've always said, which is like, I read that and
I was like, no part of me was like, were you, were you, were you? He's like, I gotta go online and comment
and give this guy a shit.
We're just like, it's a shrug.
It's like, oh man, he fucked around.
I guess he could only be a rockstar for so long.
Fucked around, he found out.
Yeah, before you fuck around on your wife.
But like he, but the people who were like,
I'm going on and I'm gonna make him know
exactly how I feel.
And then the moralistic, judgmental fucking glee,
it's just like fuck you guys.
As if anybody other than other commenters
are gonna see it.
Like Dave Grohl's not going through that shit.
Oh, I bet you it's somebody.
His wife might be.
Yeah.
But like let's say we're at the concert
and Zombie or Alice Cooper chooses that moment to be like,
I just wanna let everybody know, I just want to let everybody know,
I just had a baby at a wedlock.
I think people would be like, oh!
Yeah!
He's still got it!
I don't think people are getting up and walking out, though.
So I don't know why he felt,
unless he thought it was gonna break
in People Magazine or something,
and he wanted to get in front of it. That's entirely possible.
That's entirely possible that he knew it was going to come out.
So he's like, let me just before all these outlets get it.
I don't know.
I guess I live in a world where this to me isn't newsworthy.
No, who cares?
He's not that big of a deal in the great – he's not that big of a pop culture figure
that he needs to get in front of this.
And he's not somebody we rely on.
It's not like it's a politician where you have to be like, oh, well, his scruples are
fucking out an all-time low.
He's a fucking rock star.
He's a rock star.
Yeah, like it would be shocking if he didn't have a kid out of wedlock.
There it is.
So a new baby, so this just happened then.
It wasn't like it was the kids like-
It wasn't in hiding like the kid is now 10 or something.
Right.
Oh, when he got that call. Oh, brother, I feel for you, damn girl. You get that call
like I'm pregnant and I'm keeping it. It's like, oh, motherfucker.
Why did I?
All I had to do is not do that and I could have been fucking fine.
Yeah, I mean that guy's in fucking jail.
One of the guys that I was down in QS with, his wife just looked at his phone and found
pictures of some girl had sent them and he was telling me about it and he was like, he's
like, I didn't know about it.
He just told me about it and he was like, it's been a year and a half. He goes and he's like, she is, I have to like basically hand over my phone when I come in
and she tracks where I am all the time.
And I was like, bud, I was like, and he's like, I care about her.
He's like, what are you going to do?
I'm going to try and fix it.
It's just crazy.
But he was talking about like-
So you guys don't let your significant others track you?
I mean it never occurred to me to be tracked.
Mary Beth does.
She's like, wait, he's in the living room now.
He moved into the kitchen.
It's like Alien.
He's outside.
He's outside the walls.
Oh no, I've been tracked since day one.
That's probably more of a safety thing than a key.
We have the family tracking plan.
Yeah.
Pam has that.
I wanted to give the codes to get them, but it doesn't have an updated phone.
So he doesn't have to track me via fucking the ship.
Just track the phone.
But I don't think his phone would handle the app, though.
Pam tracks Eric, the kid that Eric raised.
Oh, that's crazy.
Eric's new girlfriend.
And then one other.
How on earth did she get the coordinates
for his new girlfriend?
He must have given them to her for some reason.
But she'll sit there at home and she's like, look, Ethan just got in his car.
There's a little image of a little car driving down the highway and shit.
I'm just like, wow.
Yeah.
I try so hard to not go on those things and fun follow where my daughters are because
they could just fucking go, what's going on?
It's fucking 12 a.m. what are they doing out
yeah so you so the guy your friend like what yeah what is he what hoops is has
he had to jump through try try to make shit better thing is
He has agreed to and has been
Going to church every Sunday. Oh, yeah, he had to go to confession
Was she that was the missus religious before this or did she was like no, we're going to church now
I think you got kicked in the high gear a little bit. Because he was down there, he was down there, and she wasn't there with us.
Oh, how did he manage that?
How did he swing that?
I don't know.
I do know, but I can't say.
That's one of those things.
But my fucker got up early Sunday morning, went to church.
Did he really?
Even without the wife?
Because he was like, she'll look on the phone and see I'm not a fucking church.
I was just parking the parking lot and go to go to sleep with the back.
I was just going to church, hide your phone under the altar for an hour, go have a drink.
Yeah, like I did with my duffel bag. I got another buddy who got cute. He got
fucked. He had an Apple watch and the phone and she tracked
them both. He didn't know that. He left his phone in the room, went to a strip club with
his buddies and she fucking, she looked up that.
That's, you can't, that's it. You can't trust them anymore.
Still together. You can't trust them anymore
I'm sorry strike two there is no chance for
Friend
I got I got dogs all around
I
This is a fun. It's not a great story on the boat. They had they did this game show with couples Oh, yeah, and they were asking to come up on board. They asked who's been married for
20 years 30 years and when they had somebody was
Who's they're all the way up to the 50 who's been married 50 years?
They're like they've been married 60 years and there was some applause 70 and there was. Who's been married for 50 years? They're like, has anybody been married 60 years? And there was some applause. 70? And there was one applause,
one couple applauding for 70 years.
What's that like?
And they had them come up and play. And so it took a while for them to get up on the
stage. And they may never get off the boat. Like every minute they have is maybe the last
minute on the planet.
They were playing against a couple that was married 25 years and a couple that just got
married a couple of months ago.
Of course, all the questions are going to be a little risque.
That's how you make everybody laugh.
You know you want those.
One of the ones was, what's the weirdest place you ever made sweet love?
I've yet to start.
Sweet love, you said.
So they're the last couple that's going to answer.
So they have to go after the newlyweds who are like, we pulled over and did it by the side of a
corn stand that was selling corn.
And they went inside the stand that was empty and did it in there.
Another couple was like, I can't even remember.
Like it wasn't that crazy though.
So they get to the fucking Methuselah couple.
And first off, all she's talking about, every answer has
to do with God. She's like, why they've been able to maintain this marriage. She was like,
this is why you brought it up when you said the church. Every single answer, she chalked
it up to like, God's the reason that their marriage is still strong.
She's expecting to meet him soon. So she's like, oh glory to God, man. I want this guy
happy when he sees me working those pearly gates.
So she was saying like he's a good Christian and all they kept saying was they were good
Christians.
So what possibly are they going to say, you think, when they have to answer this question?
A couple who've been married since the 20s, it feels like.
Like a barn.
It sounds like, you know, a cornfield or something like that.
It was both hilarious and gross when the lady, because the man couldn't answer any of the
questions because he couldn't hear anything.
So she had, so somebody had to like take down his answers and then she had to read them.
It's a long convoluted story, worse than what Gideon was talking about with the security
guard.
All I'll say is the lady reveals this good Christian who spent the whole fucking game
show talking about Christianity and everything for the fucking – a few fucking yucks reveals
that her husband took her on a pool table
and go.
And that was her go-to place was the pool table.
Really?
And I'm just like.
In their home or like a local bar?
In their home.
And they still, whenever they see a pool table,
they make jokes about like,
hey, you wanna give the pool table a shot?
Oh, I kinda like this.
But I'm like, it's still like you're looking at two fucking pieces of dust.
Yeah.
You know?
We're thinking of them doing that.
Yeah. It just didn't have the same titillation as the other couple.
Yeah, you had to see them 50 years ago.
Oh, man.
Yeah, maybe. But yeah, it just blew my mind that the whole time they're talking about
But yeah, they were not gonna be my mind that like the whole time they're talking about you know what you know, God God God and then
They just get caught up in the moment that they'll reveal something
Well, they were married they're allowed intimate like their family had to be on I'm telling you right now
Family cruise I would have enough sense to not get caught up in the game show on a fucking cruise to embarrass my daughters
And everybody else in my family to be like a true real.
Oh, they were with family?
They had to be.
Right.
They had to be.
They could not have been.
They couldn't have gotten anywhere on their own.
They were back to crevice.
And a pool table is generally like, hey man, you remember that slut that got fucked in
the pool table in front of a bunch of guys?
That's usually where the pool table comes in. In fact, every real pool story sex in my life, I've heard like two or three of them, have
usually been involved with people, other people like watching it.
It's true.
I know a girl started dating a Hells Angel and she's like, yeah, she would even fuck
me on the pool table in front of a –
In front of the gang?
In front of the gang, yeah, yeah.
Wow.
Well, you know what? She didn't say that, this lady.
I think this one was – there was no viewers.
It didn't look like a gang.
It's not me.
I mean, I like that.
They won the competition.
How could they not?
Yeah, the crowd went crazy when she revealed that.
I was just like, why?
This is like the Dave Grohl thing.
You don't have to fucking reveal this.
You could have said – you just could have made something up.
You didn't have to like, like reveal this for the sake of a fucking million strangers
on a boat.
I will say though, the Dave Grohl thing he wouldn't have done unless it made sense to
him.
It has, it's gotta be as fucking for everything he's doing now is exactly what his wife tells
him to. Every single fucking thing everything he's doing now is exactly what his wife tells him to.
Every single fucking thing.
He's going to church.
Yeah, there's some reason that ended up from that fucking kitchen table to that post.
He's doing anything to keep it.
Anything.
But a pool table though.
Sexy.
Is that sexy?
It's so hard.
Why is it more sexy? I know a lot of guys would be like yeah pool table
Yeah, like why like it says it like why like why is that more like it like like?
dirty than a bed
Well, I mean, you know everybody fucks in the bed
I know but like alright why that why is that more dirty than like the dining room dirty is not the right word
maybe different?
Tiddling why is that more titillating this is not the bed. It's not like you know it's not we've done it a billion times
This is where we play billiards
Yeah, and I fuck here. It's like like I don't get it. Yeah, I don't get why
That were like fucking totally like you know like pumping their fists and clappin'.
And I'm like, why is that so much more titillating?
It's just a table.
But it's public.
Well, nobody, nobody expected her to say that.
That's probably why they went crazy because they're like, she, she leads off with all
this God shit and Christian stuff.
And then the very last answer is she's like, yeah, I spread my legs and get fucked on a
pool table.
And people are like, whoa, All right, now we're talking.
You racked up my tits.
So you don't think it's more, I don't know.
I disagree.
I think guys would be like, I did it on a pool table.
Our first time was on a pool table.
Guys would be like, I did it anywhere.
Right.
But don't you think it like you did it on a pool table?
Get the fuck out of here.
On a pool table?
But why?
I don't know if they'd be that fucking…
It would definitely spark my interest. I'd be like, really? Pool table?
If I was on a date and I was in a bar in a back room and there's a pool table and I
fucked a girl on the pool table.
In a bar? Yeah, that's different. You have a pool table at your home.
I have a pool table, yeah. So far nobody's been fucked on it.
But I would imagine at this point when they were around pool tables weren't in every house.
Is it a brand new table or did you buy it used?
Not only is it not brand new, it was made in 1928.
Someone's been fucked in that pool table.
And it was-
Probably that lady.
It was in Chinatown in Manhattan for 30 years in a Chinese pool hall.
So for sure.
Me so horny.
Yeah, somebody's been fucked. Somebody's been fucked in on that pool table for sure. But I read, but I did the
felt. I read in the felt. All those stains are gone. That's so fucking funny. Yeah.
I've never fucked on a pool table. Now I kind of want to.
Yeah. I'm not even prompted by that. I'm like, it just seems like it's...
Well, it's a very hard surface, you know?
Oh, you don't think she was just kind of bent over the side?
Oh, maybe bent over as opposed to like legs akimbo.
I mean, I'd rather do it legs akimbo if I'm going to do it, right?
Yeah.
Like go for it. But it sounds painful.
It does, yeah.
If you got something on the felt, would you keep it as a side, as a remembrance?
I got a little carpet cleaner thing for when the cats throw up on the carpet and stuff.
You wouldn't want to keep it there?
I'd probably try to soak up the cum.
You wouldn't be like, guys, you see that state on the full table?
And you're winking.
Who am I saying that to?
Jimmy the Hairy Guy.
Hey, Jimmy, that's not cat throw up. And you're winking. Who am I saying that to? Jimmy the Hair Guy.
Hey Jimmy, that's not Katharov.
Ah, fuck yeah!
Really? Get the fuck out of here!
I'll buy it! I'll buy it! I'll give you a thousand dollars for it!
Oh fuck!
Just the felt, just the felt. I gotta get out of here.
All right.
I gotta keep you on.
Yeah, you got a fucking trip then.
Yeah, I got a little, I got like a 40 minute drive.
So all right.
Well, we got, I got gotta read these other two ads all right
Yeah, sorry. I gotta go okay. If it wasn't you're in the QC fucking horrible
fuck up
Got a cool pool pool stories. You must have fucking had some sex
I don't know I can tell you about time. I jerked off on a podcasting table. See you later, Kue. See you. All right. So we got some ads.
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Okay, that's it for the end.
That's our gun.
Yup.
Then I had one question.
Q had to go, so he's not here to answer.
What would the circumstances have to be? You too, Walt. What would the circumstances,
because I've been watching these body cam compilations.
Okay.
And it's crazy how many people just don't listen to the cops.
Yes.
Like they just will not listen, they won't get out of the car, they won't identify themselves,
they won't do this or that.
It's legion, man.
There's people everywhere.
It's Walmart thieves.
It's people without licenses.
It's all this stuff.
The one thing that always strikes me is when they go to somebody's house or apartment
or hotel room and they answer the door without a shirt on.
What would the circumstances have to be for you to answer any of those doors without a
shirt on?
Knowing you're probably going to jail.
Like if they're banging on the door and saying, please, please, I'm going to assume something's
important and I'm just going to go, I might just grab a shirt as I'm going down.
Like you'd probably catch me in the process of putting one on if I'm shirtless, which
is really rare.
Right, me too.
I'm rarely shirtless at the home. Maybe in a hotel room, like you're going swimming or something.
I don't know.
Yeah.
But this guy, he got busted for domestic violence in a hotel room and he answered
the door in just shorts and socks and no shirt.
And I'm like, you know you're probably going.
They're probably going to, with DV stuff, they always take somebody.
Yeah. Well, they usually have to because now they can, you know you're probably going. They're probably going to like with the mess with D.D.
stuff, they always take somebody.
Yeah.
They usually have to, because now they can, a lot of places now, the
police are allowed to press charges.
So even if the victim doesn't want to press charges, the police can press
charges on their behalf, so they will at least get the party separated for 24 hours.
Right.
Yeah.
This guy didn't want to go.
He got all scraped up because he wasn't wearing a shirt.
Do you wear a shirt at home at all times?
Yeah. I don't think I, I donped up because he wasn't wearing a shirt. Do you wear a shirt at home at all times? Yeah.
I don't think I do anything without a shirt on.
I think that – like the only way my shirt is off is if the cops take it off or whatever.
They take it off.
In a tux or something.
It just comes off.
But there's definitely been a change because back in the 80s, 90s, I remember a certain
T-shirt was called a wife beater.
Right. And part of the reason was whenever you turned on cops, when they responded to domestic violence
call these persons –
Did you ever sport one?
What?
A guinea pig?
Yeah.
No.
How come?
I think I had to wear one for Jim once.
You think you would look good in one now?
Yeah.
You think?
I think it would be a great look for you.
Yeah, I don't think so.
Doing those rounds.
Security ran across the front.
Why not though?
Security around across the front.
I just – I like sleeves.
How come?
I just – I like sleeves.
Sleeves are for losers.
I'm a little bit of a sweater and I think it – you know, just – you know –
It absorbs it.
Yeah, I don't want to like dripping down my side.
Just – yeah. Yeah, like white beaters don't look great if you're not in tip-top shape.
Really?
Yeah, if you're like sporting some gut, it doesn't really look –
Well, you don't have to wear a skin-tight one.
But usually I think also –
A baggy wife eater.
Usually people –
What did it like fall off?
Like a bra strap?
Sexily falling off his shoulder.
I think also back in the day, they were usually wearing his undershirts. off like a bra strap. Sexily falling off his shoulder.
I think also back in the day, they were usually worn as undershirts.
I've never worn undershirt.
I'm always –
Never?
Yeah, I'm just one layer.
How come?
I'm a little – I can say I sweat a little.
I'm hot.
So I just always usually go with one layer unless it's like winter. But now it's no shirts.
Now it's no shirts?
Domestic violence.
Now it's no shirts, yeah. What do you think of this? We've been watching this Butterfly
and Flamingo Conservatory for a long time now.
Webcam?
Yeah, the webcam. Do you think it would calm you?
I think it could put the volume up when we're hearing the birds.
Not at all.
Yeah.
I just find it shocking how many people are there.
Yeah.
It's heavily traveled today.
There's a lot of clients or not clients, but the public are.
Observers, yeah.
Enforced today.
Oh well.
You were talking about, didn't you?
Well, you had a fucking interesting story.
Didn't you, before we turn on the mics, you were talking about how your,
that your, your priest at your church used to run nude every day.
No, no, no.
I was.
Tell us that story.
Is that the story that it like blew my mind that he, that the father at your,
at your boy's school used to jog nude in the mornings
and nobody thought it was weird.
No, it wasn't the priest at my school.
There was a priest in New Jersey who for like months – well, I didn't know he was a
priest.
For months, there was getting reports of somebody running naked down the side of like the Garden
State Parkway.
You can't even walk on the Garden State Parkway, let alone jog.
No, like down south, like on the median, like on the side of the road where there's like
…
Wait, the median?
So he'd cross?
No, like the side median.
Oh, okay.
Maybe not the median, just the side of the road.
Right, right, right.
But you're not allowed to walk around on the parkway?
Well, you're also not supposed to be naked either, so …
So he would pull …
No, he would leave his house and then jog along the side of the parkway and then cut
back and then go back to his house.
I guess by the time people saw him and called it into 911, the cops couldn't get there.
So it doesn't be early in the morning when it's still dark?
It seemed like it was early in the morning, yeah.
You told us that his excuse was it just felt like – it felt more relaxed.
From what I remember from the article, he said this is what they used to do back in
the seminary and –
That sounds weird.
A bunch of guys running around nude together.
You know –
Priests.
I don't know what the seminary is like.
I've never been in one.
But I remember I did have a priest who would tell us how they used to constantly play volleyball
in the seminary.
Nude? Nude?
Nude?
I don't know if they were nude, but he was European, so I pictured it in Speedo, so it's
pretty much there.
Now that is-
And that was to burn off energy.
But that is the sport of choice at nudist camps, volleyball.
They love it.
You know that, right?
They love it.
They love volleyball.
They love to play nude volleyball.
Could you play nude volleyball at a nudist camp?
I can barely play volleyball to begin with.
All right.
Let's say, all right, you like to keep score.
Could you keep score of a nude volleyball game without having an erection?
Ooh.
Who's playing?
Couples?
Six couples.
Okay.
I would at first know, but I would imagine you eventually get so used to it to get to sensitize to it
So you you'd have to keep score dude, too, so they would
So self-conscious that you it's not like to me
I feel like I would it would be so weird the last thing I would I would think would happen would be arousal
Well, I saw it would be so uncomfortable so uncomfortable that there's no way but I –
I'm assuming I'm getting paid for this.
It's just like your volunteer service here as a security guard at the airport class,
which I hope you're not doing you it as well.
You're around.
No.
No, I think eventually you get used to it though.
So like it's, it's not as titillating.
You know why they love volleyball, right?
All the bouncing.
Yeah.
Everything just fucking bounces crazy when you're playing volleyball.
That must be distracting.
Oh yeah.
And if you're the, if you're the scorekeeper, people are going to constantly
be looking to you to see if a point counted.
So like, there's going to be a lot of attention on you too.
Yeah.
You don't mind.
Yeah.
Have you ever thought about it?
But.
Do you want me to just call him?
No, no, no.
That's not for you.
No.
I won't let you get my shirt off for the podcast.
Well, if you're around other nudes though, I think it's less and you see other people's bodies aren't fucking they're not adonises
I get annoyed if I'm wearing pants that don't have pockets because I carry so much stuff on me, so I
Can wear a fanny pack oh
Just a vision that's what we're gonna leave you with here today people put it in your mind
The vision of get him nude with a fanny pack on.
Tell us, Steve Dave.
That's a week.
That's what's going to be ahead for the next week.