Tell Em Steve-Dave - #612: Moe’s Revenge

Episode Date: October 21, 2024

Killer chimps, Down syndrome bakeries, baseball, Q goes to Comicon.

You probably know more than me, right? But um, probably it was. Specifically in the groin and anus area. Yeah. Like if you do well for yourself, it's like, fuck you, you're still a dickhead. Oh yeah. Tell him Steve, Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell Him Steve, Dave here with Walt. Hello. Not here with Q though. Q's here, but not here.

Too busy hobnobbing. He's hobnobbing, Walt. No. Yes. I saw it. I saw it with my very own eyes. At the New York Comic Con, hobnobbing with the likes of Ming Chen, Kevin Smith, a box car full of kryptonite. I saw it all.

That was the best. What happened? Well, all that happened, Walt, is I went to New York City Comic Con for a few hours the other day. But it was, like, I'm going to tell you what happened. And it sounds unbelievable to myself, so I completely understand if nobody believes me, but like they, I went in the, the loading dock entrance, right? Cause that's what Warner Brothers is. Like you get the passes that they left me at the loading dock. So security guy is like, yeah, just go on. And I walk into the Javits center and the bowels of the Javits center in the, uh, in the loading dock. And I see the second I walk in I See one person and only one person in the whole fucking half mile loading dock area and it's being chen

He's all in Teamsters try to get into the comic-con It wasn't even a team sir, this is how insane it was there wasn't even a team, sir. This is how insane it was. There wasn't even a team, sir, to blow. It was just Ming. And I was like, what the fuck? It was wild. Are you telling me he's just sniffing around just hoping that the, so he sees somebody that it will say, Hey, come in with me. No.

So what happened? He's already inside, right? He's inside already. Yeah. All right. He, he? He's inside already, yeah. He knows the people that were, you know, of course at this point he knows everybody that runs every con, so he was just down there kind of helping his friend out as she was running things at the con. So he wasn't working, but he was there with the workers, like he was just hanging around.

It was awesome, but it was great. You know, let me tell you something, nothing will get you mood up. Like a, like a fucking unexpected Ming Cheng sighting. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And then he, you know, then he walked me around. He showed me everywhere to go. He spent, you know, we spent time hanging out.

He introduced me to Denise Richards. It was fucking fun, man. Like, I heard you two were all slapping over her drooling and shit. I mean, it's hard not to. It's Denise Richards. I've never seen her in real life. She must have said that. Was she married to the Tiger blood guy?

Charlie Sheen. Yeah. Charlie Sheen? Okay. Why is she at Kanye? What is she promoting? I don't know. We never kind of got into it.

I saw the one person that I was, I was trying to find Bruce Campbell, but I couldn't miss out on them, but he, Walter Walton Goggins. Oh, yeah, baby Billy. Mm-hmm, dude. He walked by me and Like I felt like Elvis walked by me. I was like, oh man I want to fucking I want to meet and talk to this guy so badly But I was too I was too shy to go up to him In like that in that VIP area type thing in the back I just like you don't want you don't want to fucking hear from me You know, I don't know

He seems like a pretty nice guy. Were you there for? pleasure or business pleasure Pleasure to go look. Yeah See I bought a train car like a model railroad car A miniature. I don't even have a set. Are you collecting now full-sized train cars? He's not an engineer.

To build on your fucking sprawling fucking. No, nothing so much fun. 50 acre fucking Q estate that now you have your own train. It'll take you your own train into Manhattan. You know what I really enjoy? I really enjoy that. Like if you do well for yourself, it's like, fuck you, you're still a dickhead. Oh yeah.

Yeah. You're talking a miniature, right? That you're going to. Yeah. Like the model railroad. I bought one from Lionel. First of all, I was impressed. Well, cause Lionel trains were there and I was like, I've never seen a train model train company at a comic

convention before. So I was like, wow, it's pretty cool. So I started talking to them, you know, I have this fetish about trains. So I was talking to them and they had, it was a boxcar and it says Lex Corp on the side. And then they had put piles, it looks like, it's fake obviously, but it's piles of kryptonite in the box car. And then when it's on the track it lights up green, like this glowing green kryptonite thing. And I was like, fuck it, I'll buy it. I don't know how I'm going to power it because you need the tracks. But I fell in love with the, I started arguing with the guy, not arguing, but I was like, you know there's not that much kryptonite on planet earth

Oh, yeah, exactly. Why the fuck would they train it across wherever they have to bring it? I mean, it's I did I think on the planet, you know to the right people They're transporting it willy-nilly across the country Yeah, those are fucking exposed that kryptonite poisoning Flex corpus fucking shambles with all lawsuits Well what we came up with on the spot was like it's not real kryptonite Lex Luthor is just kind of

being a dickhead to Superman. And it's like propaganda. So it rolls across the country and Lex Luthor just shows it off. But it's just a fuck you to Superman. You know, the internal. Go ahead. No, that was the internal logic. I came up with it. But you know, the Lionel guy is when he went home that night, he's telling his wife, you fucking won't believe this I think this is a fever dream. I had but the practical jokers just came up and started making a background story fanfiction Literally on the spot about why there's not before breaking my balls

He told me a story that he could just own it then. He gets to take it. A prototype. A prototype. This is mine now. But you know that's how it starts now. By next Christmas you will have a sprawling miniature train set up around the Christmas tree.

A little Q village. That would be cool. I would like, you know, you say it, I kind of like, it sounds nice. I like that. You got to have a little Justice League train. You got to have the patience, though, and the dexterity. Are you having them below your fingers? I know you're getting up there now.

You know, not that great. I'm too old to put a circular. Q's like, I showed up for this. I'm too old to put a circular. I'm too old to put a circular. I'm too old to put a circular. I'm too old to put a circular. I'm too old to put a circular. I'm too old to put a circular. I'm too old to put a circular. Uh, you know, not that great. I'm too old to put a circular. You know, you're not a young bucket.

Trains are a young man's game. You mean while fucking anybody under the age of fucking 70, I mean over the age of 70s is like, well, I didn't even know Lionel was still in business. Yeah. And I'm sure the guy must have been like, oh, you have a train? He's like, no. He's like, what are you buying this for? I'm like, I just, I just want it. You got some comments too I saw.

You got some comments too? Yeah. Well, you know what I saw Walt was remember the tangent universe? Oh yeah. So late night. Yeah. I think it was early to doubt. I could be wrong.

You probably know more than me, right? But probably it was early 2000. I could be wrong. You probably know more than me, right? But um, probably it was Probably Well now let's look it up I'll just stand by it. I i'm almost positive. It's late 90s. There might have been two series though I think there was a yeah, I think there was two series though of Tangent Universe. Right, originally 1997. Okay, alright.

So there you go. So I bought the trade paperbacks for that first series. Because I don't remember it. Literally all I remembered was the Tangent Green Lantern. And I remember it was like the lantern, you put it on the grave and then the dead could speak. Yes, yes. Now that you know what that was motivated by right? That whole move.

No, what? They saw how well the Amalgam universe stuff sold when DC and Marvel did the Amalgam stuff and they're like well let's make our they can't do more amalgam stuff without Marvel so they were like hey let's do some basically else worlds of our characters and that's where the tangents if that's a lot of Dan Juergens artwork it looks like to me yeah that's what made me want to do it was I like the Juergens artwork which I fucking loved you know this old Superman so so I bought that and I got him like five bucks a piece. It was a steal for the trades.

Are they new or they? No, no, they were old. They've been out a while, oh, okay. They've been out a while, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I got the complete first series of tangent. That was it, that's all I got with those two things. But I'm excited to dive into it. Yeah, I remember that.

That's, there was was the Green Lantern, you're talking about was a female as I recall, right? Yeah, it was a woman. Yeah. Yeah, and the Flash was like, I was flipping through it and the Flash is like a Dazzler type character where she's like, and you can tell this comic was drawn in the 90s

because man, all the boobs are big and the costumes are skimpy. So is, like, if, does real world or does comics reflect the real world now? Has the fake boob industry fallen on hard times in the real world since, you know, like, people don't really like that look anymore, right? They don't like big chested women anymore. No, I don't think that's the case. I disagree.

You know, you think that... I think you guys are dying to store yourself. No, I think people don't like the depiction for some reason. It's like if you have a boob implant or you just have naturally big boobs, I think people are fine with it. But the second you commit it to like a drawing they better be small Otherwise, you're a fucking misogynist subscribe to that cue. I just think people have just under over it. It's like yeah No, it's like a big belly now. It's gross What you're when was a big belly?

Yeah, I think that that's that's you believing what Hollywood has been trying to sell us for the past X amount of years. I think I think the the rise of Sidney Sweeney, I think Sidney Sweeney is going to save Hollywood. I think the rise of Sidney Sweeney is showing people that like, oh, that's right. People like bombshells. Yeah. They like they like cleavage still, huh? Yeah, I think so. I mean, I'm going out on a limb here. I'm going out on a limb. But yeah, I can understand why in a, in a, in a world where even Lara Kraft, Lara Kraft is getting breast reduction surgery and every new project she does,

every new team Raider, Tomb Raider is flatter than the one before. I guess you can understand why you would believe that big boobs are out. But I believe that there's a market, Walt, and I'm going on a limb here for voluptuous women. I do believe so. But to defend the Tomb Raider thing, if there was a female Tomb Raider or something real like that, she would have to have a... She could not roll around squeezing in her splunking. Is that what they call it? Splunking?

Yeah. Like, you know, she could get caught so easily between two very close rocks with that. She could not traipse around into the most dangerous of tombs with those fucking... With giant tits? She just gets stuck in between two rocks because of a tits It doesn't make sense if like realistically, yes, she would never have the the measurements of what Hollywood gave us in the Early 90s of a tomb right? Yeah, I guess you're right. Except the only thing is like, you know, I don't want realism in my entertainment.

The reason I'm fucking sitting down to watch and play is to see people who look better than me doing things that I can't do. So yeah, it's fine. But to be fair, those that Tomb Raider trilogy they made a few years back was pretty fucking awesome. So, you know, what do I know? trilogy they made a few years back was pretty fucking awesome. So, you know, what do I know? I'm just popping off in the mouth. Well, you know.

You know. What do I know? Not even a boob guy in the long run. No. Really? That is breaking news. That is. I thought for sure you were a boob guy.

Yeah, I really thought you were. No. I mean, you know, I already like you pick up, you know, but yeah, no, boobs aren't my first stop on the, on the, uh, the male gaze train isn't boobs. Although look, um, you know, go for it. You know, I'm not here to, I'm not here to talk down to anybody. Everybody should enjoy with you. Well, what is it? The butt? The gams.

I think so for me. Yeah. I think it's the butt Gams situation for OBQ. That way it can be sneaky and dirty and look at them from behind, they never know. See if you're looking at boobs, they can immediately see you. They see that spit form on the side of your mouth. It's all parched and dried. The faraway. He's all parched and dried like. The far away. What is he looking at?

I can't really tell. His gaze is so steady. Yeah. Yeah. But uh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Lex Corpo, those are fake kryptonite rocks.

I wasn't staring. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Fake boobs, fake kryptonite. That ends to the fever dream of the dealer. And then he started talking about kryptonite boobs and then he just walked away. Yeah, but it was a good time. It was good to see Kevin. It was good to see Muse.

I haven't seen Muse in a while. You saw Kev too, huh? I saw him stop by their booth, say hello to Kevin and Musey. I saw Kevin and Musey. I saw Kevin and Musey. I saw Kevin and Musey. I saw Kevin and Musey. I saw Kevin and Musey.

I saw Kevin and Musey. I saw Kevin and Musey. I saw Kevin and Musey. I saw Kevin and Musey. I saw Kevin and Musey. I saw Kevin and Musey. I saw Kevin and Musey. I saw Kevin and Musey. I saw Kevin and Musey. I saw Kevin and see Kevin. It's good to see Muse. I haven't seen Muse in a while.

You saw Kev too, huh? I saw him stop by their booth, say hello to Kevin and Musey. You know, doing great. They look great. It's fun to see them. What were they up to? Just signing? Sign in, photo ops, yeah.

I mean, their line is also like fucking, you know, they're one of the most popular guys there. It's great. It's great to see. I haven't been to the New York Comic-Con since comic book man got cancelled I'm boycotting until they invite me back, you know, I feel like they only invited me when I was on comic book men Then all of a sudden they had time for me now the show's over. Huh? It's weird that way Is it if I don't exist you couldn't you could barely dude they sold out we couldn't buy our way in if we wanted to

Ming was there. I'll bet you Ming set that up a while ago and he's doing some favor for somebody. Oh, exactly. He's helping out. He's earning his keep. He doesn't want to just walk in like we do. Last weekend, I almost got a second dog, Walt. No way.

Almost. It was really close. Because it was this little wire, I was going to name it, I already had a name for it, it was Country Mac. I know you'll appreciate that, Q. Oh yeah, Country Mac, nice. Because it looked like a country dog to me. It was all wiry and small like his fur wasn't smooth.

It was just like kind of a scrappy little mix breed. You know, it looked like a kind of like a little terrier almost. And Marybeth was like, well, let's get him. Let's get him. And I was like, over at PetSmart, they have the adoption, the adoption things on Sundays. So I was like, I don't know, because then I'm weighing it in my mind. I'm like, two dogs now. That's an extra crate.

More dogs, more money. More money. That's exactly what I said to Mary Beth. I said, now it's twice what it costs. But I did mention her a few times, like during the week, and Mary Beth was going to surprise me and just get the dog. Oh boy. Yeah. Thankfully though, like this morning surprise me and just get the dog. Oh boy. Yeah. Thankfully though, like this morning she went and checked and the dog had been

adopted, which is good news. Good news. That's good news that the dog got adopted because I would probably have a second dog if not. If I don't feel like I'm ready for it, then I'm not ready, right? Because you got two dogs and you seem to do fine. Yeah, but I think that like I wasn't ready for kids either and it happens. You got to be ready when the time comes when it's time to step up. Yeah.

Then you do. You do it. You never, I don't think ever really ready. You just accept it and dive head first. Yeah. With kids, it's kind of like, oh, we got a kid coming. With a dog, I'm like, it was a week ago I saw that dog. I'm not suddenly like, I better step up.

But a cute dog. When Benjamin passed away, I was like, I will not be getting a cat, for a new cat for a long, long time. And then Boris just ran up into my life. just fucking ran up into my life. We also realize that how many pets are in need of a home. And it's like you have to sort of like, because I felt the same way when my cats died, I'm like, never again, I'm not getting any more cats. But then you become overwhelmed by this, you see all these pets that, if you go into a PetSmart or you're online and you see all these, or Christ Almighty or you're watching late night TV and they have the five minute to 10 minute

ASPCA commercial. From Black Widow? What's that? From with Black Widow doing the voice like what's the name? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. They're like, you're awful if you don't fucking pay for these dogs.

Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scar, Scarlet Scarlet you're handsome. Yeah But yeah, I felt the same way and there's just there's so many out there that you know, it's like how can how can you not just Well, yeah, I mean I sent you a story last week about you know a pet story about pets gone bad pets gone wild I have that story it is a long fucking article, but it's worth it But now there's a little backstory before you get into the story. Well, I just hung up on him.

God damn it. I knew that was going to happen. No, you're right. Are you still there, Q? I still got it. Okay, good. I took a nap last week, Q. It rarely happens during the afternoon or on a Saturday where I could take a nap. But I took a daytime nap and I had a very vivid dream about my new dog, Teddy.

I had brought him to my late in-laws' house to show him off. They wanted to see him. And when I took him out of the car, when I got him into the house, I looked at him and he had turned into basically the same exact dog, but now he was a chimp. He was walking on two legs and he was just walking around and I would feed him grape Kool-Aid and he would drink the Kool-Aid with his two hands. Insert the easy joke here. It was just the most vivid dream and my in-laws were there who were no longer with us and

it was just so vivid and strange and I was awoken by my phone and after I got off the phone I just looked at the news immediately. Just went to the news page on my iPhone and fucking the news article, Stare Me in the Face, was about a chimpanzee who was a pet chimpanzee who fucking mauled his owners. Specifically in the groin and anus area. Yeah. They love it. An anus area. Yeah.

They love it. Now, either that means, I mean, I have had dreams about monkeys a lot. Okay. And this is another dream about a monkey that feels very strange, but either some sort of weird shit's going on or my phone is able to pick up brain waves of what I'm thinking about now? Probably that. Yeah.

Yeah, probably that one. You think that's possible? You think the phones now are reading our brain waves and they can actually tell what we're thinking about? There are times when I look at my phone and I'm like, was I talking about this? Because it was like, I know I was thinking about it. Yeah. Was I talking about it?

And then suddenly it just shows up on your phone. So it's like, it was eerie though. I do have that dream and then immediately look at the first news article that shows up in my feed is about this chimp mauling his, his owners ripping off his cock and taking a chunk out of his anus. That's the worst way to go, right? Oh, he didn't die. Oh, that's right.

Oh yeah, that's right. He just, yeah, there are pictures, there didn't die. Oh yeah, that's right. Yeah, there are pictures of them in this article. I'd rather be dead than come in there and face you guys after fucking chimp is ripped off my dick and asshole. I mean, in all seriousness, yeah, I don't think they did this guy any favors. Like, keep rescuing him? No, he looks fucked up.

He had also bit his nose off. So he was permanently had no nose. He's got like just two holes in his head. It looks like a skull. Yeah. They should have let this guy bleed out from the anus. Yeah, I would have. Because there's no way.

Let me go. Because there's no quality of life after this happens. No, I could take the loss of the nose. I'd probably be able to like work around the loss of the asshole, but like chimp bites off your dick. I think it's time to call it a day. Well, you're probably not getting much use out of it. Anyway, if you got no nose, I don't know how many honeys you're going to be able

to woo without a nose. You're going to look really fucking. You really got to stick with your wife at that point. You can't be looking around. You can't even look. I'll leave you. Oh yeah? Ready no nose?

Yeah. You can get a new nose put on. You just can't get a new dick put on, man. I heard you can. Like they form it out of matter from another part of your body, your fleshy tissue. Yeah, but it's not your... I don't know, man. Like you spend a life with your dick, you know, you grow to love it, you know, you know

what, like inside and out, you know what it likes, you know how it works, and then a chimp bites it off, and then a chimp bites it off and suddenly I got to make a go of it with some dick made for my ass cheeks. Do you want a dick or not? I know, not at that cost. I'm telling you, just let me die. Let me go. So what year did this take place, Brian?

This was in the 70s. So it was weird that it'd show up in the newsfeed last weekend. Right. This, okay, so first we'll talk about, because this is a very long article. Just give them the the abridged version. Yeah. So there was this couple. I guess basically you heard it. Man gets fucking dick and anus and nose bit off by chimp. More on Eleven. So there's this family, it's a guy and his wife. And the one guy was a professional boat racer turned NASCAR driver. And his wife was his crew chief, the first woman on the circuit to hold that role.

But the real star of the Davis family was Moe the Chimp. They brought him home from, I can never, is this Tanzania? Tanzania. Tanzania. Okay. God forbid I should mispronounce something. I'll hear about it for the next fucking three weeks. So they brought him home and they treated him more like a pet. He would sit at the- Not like a boy, I thought it was. Yeah, more like a, did I say that?

You said more like a pet, you said. Oh, more like a son than a pet. Sorry. Mo would eat with them at the kitchen table and sleep in their bed. He was the best man at their wedding. Could you ever entertain the idea of owning a pet? Because you've got chip money now, Q. I don't think I do. Right? I don't believe.

I think this is, I think we've heard too many horror stories, right? Before the internet and before some of the horrible stories have come out about chimps going crazy, I do believe I could talk myself into being like it would be the greatest thing on the planet to have a chimp as a pet. I couldn't agree more. Right? Yeah. But my wife is like, she hates monkeys or chimps or apes or any of that kind

of stuff and Sage doesn't like them either. So the chances of me owning even a tiny little monkey are very slim. Remember that monkey that hated me? Oh yeah, Matt McCluskey's monkey. Matt McCluskey's monkey. Yeah. We knew a kid in, in Highlands that we would go hang out with and he had a monkey in his house.

Yeah. I mean, it was a kid. Like a, like a kabuchin? It was a very, like a tree monkey. Yeah, it was like a very small. Yeah. It didn't, it didn't have the use of its back leg of its high, like its legs that he stands on.

So it was kind of dragged himself around by the two front legs or arms. Yeah. But it really hated Bri. Like Bri would put his face next to the cage and the fucking, it would go crazy trying to get at him. Shaking the cage and shit going. I would put my face next to it. It wouldn't have the same reaction. Yeah. That's when I first knew like bro, you're fug. Even monkeys. Even monkeys don't like

your face. I was saying maybe, maybe the guy, maybe somebody who ran over his legs looked like you. That could be. Yeah, like some hunter or something that captured him and brought him back to America. Yeah, how the fuck do you even buy a monkey with not working back? Do you know any of the back story? It was also 1980. Oh, this was the 70s.

This was like 1970. I'm sure they had it in like mid 70s they got the monkey. I don't know where they got it from. They also had an alligator in their yard. Yeah, they had all kinds of like, they would go down to Florida and they would get, they would go, uh, the brothers, his brothers would go, um, catch these, catch these, uh, tropical fish. They would go down to like Florida and catch tropical fish and then bring them on back. So they had, it was like a menagerie, man. Yeah, they had the alligator, they had the monkey, they had all kinds of fish. And I believe the monkey actually did attack somebody and that's why they kept it in a

bird cage. Oh my God, this poor monkey. Yeah. And so they never let the monkey out after ever again because I think it bit somebody. So they basically kept the monkey in a cage forever till it died because they just were terrified of it getting out. Poor monkey man. That makes me feel horrible. Yeah.

There were, yeah, there were the five and dime, I believe in Red Bank in the 60s, sold monkeys too. Wow, that's like Canal Street. You can buy anything. In 1971, the city sought to have Mo removed from their home, setting up a courtroom showdown that ended with the judge showering the chip with praise. He said that from what he's observed of Mo outside and in the courtroom, he doesn't have the traits of a wild animal and is somewhat better behaved than some people. Whoa. So they lived with him for nearly 30 years until he was forcibly removed from their home and placed in a wildlife sanctuary after he bit a house guest's finger. Now if I was the house guest and like a little chimp bit my finger, I don't think – I mean

unless you have to, I guess you got to go to the hospital, right? Fuck yeah. You don't know what kind of shit that saliva. And then they have to report it. Yeah, because I was like I want to report it. I want to want them to get their monkey taken away but at the same time, yeah. All of a sudden your patient X went fucking – He fucked a monkey.

No, no, no, fucking. He fucked a monkey. No, no, no, no. He just bit my finger. I didn't fuck it. He bit my dick. It's his fault. I didn't think he'd bite it. I didn't think he'd bite it. So he's forcibly removed after biting the finger then the unthinkable happened the two

other chimpanzees No, no, he was removed from and they had to put him in a monkey sanctuary. Right. Did you read this article? Yeah, I'm reading it right here right now. It doesn't say that. Two other chimps escaped from their enclosure just as they were preparing to eat birthday cake with Moe.

Yeah, leave it. Yeah, you went you skipped like fucking Moe. Yeah, believe it, yeah, you went, you skipped like fucking seven paragraphs. No I didn't. Yeah, because they had to put him in the sanctuary, and then they would go visit him. But that's later on in the article, yeah, that's later on in the article,

but the article's so long that if I scroll all the way down. Okay, so let's, okay, we'll go by what we remember first. Look at, he's got you all flustered, look at him. No, I'm against the ropes over here. So they said- This is Moe's fucking one shining light. Yeah, I know, there's legacy. He's got you all flustered. Look at him. I'm against the ropes over here. This is most fucking one shining leg. Yeah, I know. He's treating you like, get him, man.

Like, he's just... It's important. It's really hard to find all the... Well, he was forcibly... The state had him removed from the home and they had to put him in a monkey sanctuary where the couple would then go and visit him. And one time when they were out visiting him on his birthday, they were eating cake with the monkey and two other chimps got out.

And those two chimps who escaped, you know, conquests of the fucking Planet of the Apes basically here, stumble upon this birthday party and they fucking went ape shit. Excuse the easy joke, but they attacked the man of course because they knew who the dominant fucking, you know, this house monkey or the fucking woman. Who are you going to attack? The dude. And they went for his genitals and one went for his ass.

And then when they were doing that, they fucking bit off the nose just like, just on spite. Here's what the, yeah. They're like, oh, that's not enough for you. So they bit off the lady's left thumb. Oh, okay. She did go after her. That was it. She got one.

Yeah, she got. That was it. That was it for her. The chimps gouged out his right eye, chewed off his nose, eight of his fingers, a chunk of his skull, as well as part of his lips, cheek, buttocks, genitals, and feet. The mauling went on for several minutes until a relative of the sanctuary's owner ran out with a gun and shot the two chimps dead. Wow. But then Mo escaped.

Mo got away. He busted out. And he was never found. No. Mo's out there today. Moe, I don't know. I don't know. That'd be pretty lofty to think he's still around here. But he got out and he was never recaptured. He made it out. How do you think a house train monkey fares in the wild though. This isn't the jungle though. So it was a San Bernardino mountains.

Yeah. Uh, California. Yeah. Doesn't seem like, well, if he's in Northern California, it does seem like there would be plenty of places for him to swing and hide and eat and stuff. Right. Well, what would be the, what would be his fear though, in terms of a predator? I don't think there really is anything that could take him down out there.

Maybe a mountain cat of some sort. Moe, I think Moe would handle a mountain lion. Maybe, I mean probably, but I wouldn't say it's 100% every time. Monkey beats mountain lion. In 2008, that's when they said the Mo had disappeared. This is a pretty long time for him to be in the, uh, in the wild. He could be out and he still really could be alive still. He could be.

Yeah. So Q they come to you, uh, they want, they want funding for, for, they want to make this into a major motion picture. Yeah. Would you put up some cash? Would you be an investor in the Mo story? No. Would you put up some cash? Would you be an investor in the Moe story? No King Kong has never flopped no version of King Kong has ever not made money

No, I just wouldn't put my money into anything like that I would be like look man, like, you know, I think you got a great project here and I wish you the best of luck raising money I can't oh, yeah, I don't know I think you got a great project here and I wish you the best of luck raising money. Oh yeah. I don't know. Yeah, that would do it. You could be the guy that shoots the chimps dead. You're the friend of the sanctuary owner. Okay, I got that.

Or maybe you could be the owner of Moe. Oh yeah, get your nose chopped off and your genitals. Oh yeah. You have to go through like- You got to put a big, you got to put some big money up for that role though. You got to invest millions to get the role of Moe's fucking father. You guys have been in more movies than I am. Why aren't they making you coming out with the gun shooting?

Well, unfortunately, we have comic book man money and they don't want to direct the cable access movie on Lifetime. They want a fucking major motion picture. We might do a low budget version on Patreon. Jimmy the hair guy is in an ape suit. All right. Action. Okay. Jimmy. Okay. Bite him. Get him's ass. Pretend you're eating his anus. Did you almost fall backwards? No, something just hit me that I can't believe I didn't mention to you guys about Comic-Con.

I'm walking the floor and I see an honest to God celebrity. I sneak up behind him and I go, are you Frank five from tell him Steve? Dave? It was Frank. He was there with a buddy of his and he turns around like, Oh my God, you scared me. He said, it was great. So I actually got to see, and I took a picture with Frank five, the Frank five on the floor of that's cool.

I think he was there to see some, some back to the future star or not really a star, like somebody who was somebody, maybe the mayor or something. Goldie Wilson. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody who was at that con, I remember he was super psyched about finally getting that

one photograph he needs or something. I'll tell you when he turned around, he looked slightly guilty. I was in my mind. It was like, does Walt know you're around? Did you not tell Walt that you were coming to town? Yeah. So sorry. I meant to mention that too. It was good to see Frank five. He says that he said that ants were stopping him. Like he was getting it there. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Or I don't know. I don't know if it's that cool or is that not cool because I think it's the coolest thing. Really? Oh, you love to be stopped while you're walking the floor every two seconds.

If it was ants talking about Steve, Dave, yeah, I would love it. But that doesn't happen as much as I would like. Sorry. So back to the chimps. I'm sorry. So the wife said, you know, wherever Mo is, I hope he's making good choices for himself. That's a quote. That's some quote, right?

Yeah. And what are his choices? In reality, I would sit down with the label. Should I eat this? Yeah. Should I eat this? Or should I fuck this? Or should I drink this?

Should I shit on this? Yeah. I'm not sure how many choices he's making. They said that this couple never had a lot of money, but they were awarded $4 million in the settlement related to the attack. From the sanctuary, huh? From the sanctuary, yep. Over the next several years, deli life got harder.

The guy required constant attention and the woman who was now in her early 70s was slowing down. Friends that were helping fell out of touch and in some cases died. How hard would it be? Like if I got attacked by a chimp, right? Yeah. I'm immediately out of touch. Yeah.

That's what I figured. That's wrong, Waltz. Why aren't you looking at me? I don't fall out of touch. I'm immediately out of touch. Let's see. So then somebody, this guy, Zin Ma, who was an immigrant from some other country, Min Zha Ma, met them and he started talking about cars with them because they were very into cars obviously since they were into the race track and all that shit back in the day. He said that he had been evicted from his apartment and not before, he met, not long

before he met the Davises, Ma pitched a local businessman on investing in his engine business and the engine man said that he had a good story, but then he found out he was full of it. So this guy is a full of shit. This is in law, mall law or whatever his name is. You kind of, I guess hooked up with them to, to get all the cars that were on their property. They had like, I guess some valuable cars and shit.

Sounds like he was a shyster and kind of took advantage of the couple due to their injuries and declining health and age. Soon he was calling the mom, the woman mommy and she was calling him son. It's just when you get older, you just start making bad decisions, huh? Like you're just not as with it or? Yeah, I just think that, especially when you're in need of some assistance when you're maimed by a monkey, it's easy to take anybody's assistance because you're like... Somebody's willing to help you. So you're like, fuck it, why not?

Walt left. I might as well take in Zinmaw. So this guy, of course, he starts siphoning out of their bank accounts and they put him in charge as like a, what's that called? Power of attorney. So all that, that 4 million is gone and from Zimmo, stole the 4 million from them. And I guess they recently found the woman, because the guy died, right? The guy died in a stroke.

But they found the lady, she's still alive and kicking, but barely. And they found her, what was it, covered in animal droppings or rabbit droppings? Uh, let's see here. In her house. I guess they had too many rabbits and shit. They don't learn. They still, I mean, pets are not for you guys. And there were also a bunch of squatters there. There was like a motorcycle gang that came in and took over.

It was like, like if that came in and took over. It was like, if you're talking about like how you don't want your life to go, this is pretty much it, right? Yeah. Made by a monkey. Does that change anything on the outlook of the other major motion picture? You got biker gangs, you got intrigue, you got scandal. I mean, it sounds like we got to pick a lane with this project.

Is it about the monkey attack? What are we trying to put together here? It's all over. It sounds like a television series at this point to me. Oh, and maybe a Netflix mini series? Yeah, like it opens with the monkey attack to get everybody gripped, and then it goes back a little bit and then leads, yeah, I think you got something, Walt. Ooh, I'm sure it's already,

somebody's already latched onto this. It feels like there's so many twists and turns. If this doesn't become a docudrama somewhere, someone's dropped the ball. Well, somebody called the police, and the police were in a bind since the woman told them the people on the property had permission to be there, so there wasn't much the cops could do.

So I'm assuming she's starting to get into like the pre-senile dementia if not like, you know, well into it because also it says about the guy, I mean, Jesus Christ, this guy. He was once one of the most famous people of West Covina yet there was no obituary, memorial service or news story about his death. And some of his friends didn't find out until several days later, which was how they suspect was exactly how Maul wanted it. Now, if there's any justice in this world, Moe comes out of fucking-

That's the end of the movie. Yeah. Moe comes back. Fucking, Zim Zaw is fucking out trying to shister somebody else and all of a sudden he fucking turns around and Mo is there and Mo does to him what happened to his father. Oh, that would be pretty cool. That's all right. Now we're getting some revenge. And we'll go full frontal. We might have to battle the board, an MPA for fucking NC-17,

but we want a full frontal shot of Zimzal, getting his genitals ripped off. Okay, here you go, Walt. So he died in 2018. The woman stayed at the house, but in like squalid conditions. The Los Angeles County Adult Protective Services opened an investigation and during a home visit in 2019, which was less than a year later than the guy died, workers found her

in a room with spider wasps buzzing through the air, hundreds of rabbit feces covering the floor. She was unable to state her age, what year it was and how many of her valuables were missing. Was she in the, was she in a basement with get them? Cause this sounds exactly like. Spider wasps and shit. At some point the property was taken over by members of a motorcycle gang who forced ma out of the home. So the motorcycle gang shows up and they're like, the guy who was siphoning all their money, they're like, get the fuck out of here. And I guess he doesn't have much of a choice.

So he left. I thought motorcycle gangs had like a code of ethics though. I'm surprised that no one just tried to like help the old lady though. They do with kids it seems. Like you know, Hell's Angels are always helping out with like around Christmas time and shit. Yeah, I see shit like that. Yeah. And sometimes like when the God hates fags people, the Westboro Baptist Church, they would go and they would protest the funerals of servicemen and cops. I mean,

motorcycle guys would show up and they would rev their engines to like drown them out so that you couldn't hear what they were saying. So they do stuff like that. Right. Let's see. She couldn't, oh, she looks terrible in this picture too. She couldn't administer her own medication. So they had to take her and let's see. I'm sure they just put her in a home, right? I'm sure they put her in a home. A facility somewhere. But she's got some story to tell. I'm sure no her in a home, right? I'm sure they put her in a facility somewhere, but she's got some story to

tell, I'm sure no one in the fucking, in the facility believes her. What she tells the story of her life. It all started with the monkey. Like this is a wizard. This one's really way out there. Yeah. She, she was at least, uh, she was, they got her sort of coherent and they brought Ma to court saying that like, you know, she, she never, she never allowed, said this was allowed

that he worked for her and that was it. You know, like she, she, she never signed any paperwork to that effect. So I guess they falsified her signature. Oh yeah. I mean, it sounds like yeah, memoir is a fucking piece of shit. Yeah, he really is. And he was like, he was ballsy about it though, like, because he, his accounting was like of the $275,000, less than $2,000 was used for the woman's care.

The rest of the $275,5 was apparently for repairs maintenance and cars And there's a $13,000 item that says ask my accountant. So not only that he was arrogant about it, too Yeah But I guess they used most of her money because she was in the hospital They had her in a hospital for a while. Her insurance was running out. There's no money, but then they discovered that she still had $440,000 that the bank closed because or didn't allow any more withdrawals because they figured somebody was doing fraudulent activity. Then they also sold her home for roughly $2 million.

So now she's 80. She was moved from a hospital to a facility that specializes in caring for people with cognitive issues and the legal battle over whether to avoid the new trust carried into late 2022. Ma maintained that he had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars of his own money on the woman's properties and for the storage of cars that he moved off of them.

So now he's like, hey, I'm the good guy here. Well, of course. What are you guys talking about, man? Oh my God. A settlement was reached in November, 2022. It granted Maul, $175,000 in cash and all of the vehicles purchased by LaDonna and or funds belonging to LaDonna that are currently in his possession. And the settlement avoids the significant expense of further litigation. and the settlement avoids the significant expense of further litigation." So they're like, fine, just take this. Yeah, get out of my life.

Get out of my life. Wow. Hey man. He must be happy with it. He goes, are you serious? All this springs out of a monkey biting a hand. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, if that attack doesn't happen, I'm sure Min Ma never comes into their life. Yeah. All this springs out of a monkey biting a hand. Isn't that crazy? Like the things that cause these disasters?

Yeah, if that attack doesn't happen, I'm sure Min Ma never comes into their life. Yeah. Well, here's his excuse. He says he doesn't know about trusts even though he like signed it and everything. I'm an Asian guy. We don't have that. Very clever. Very clever.

Yeah, that's a good excuse. And then it just goes on and on about the things that Min Ma did, you know. Very clever. Yeah, that's a good excuse. Then it just goes on and on about the things that this Min Ma did. Yeah, super long article, but crazy fucking story that horrifying but yet still captivating and all like you said, because you went and bought a a monkey which is why you probably why the state has said you know what no monkeys monkeys can't be pets right this very reason monkeys are causing trouble because was that other uh chimp a couple years not a couple years ago but you know 10 15 years ago maybe now he has bit that lady's face off the lady's

face off yeah she was like yeah she was good i don't think i'd want to live no my whole face gets bitten off Can't you tell him Steve Dave anymore? Cuz Walt's not around He's already bailed on me. I Just don't like it would be Very difficult to face my wife with my nose off. No genitals eight of my fingers are missing Make love to me. You got to kind of like, you get your balls and dick bitten off.

You're married. I think you got to leave your wife and move. If you even want to live, if it's me, you got to leave your wife. You got to move to like a cabin in the middle of fucking nowhere. And just, you can't even jerk off. You don't do anything. What do you do? You can't play video games. You got no fingers

I guess read. Yeah, just fucking read. Oh It's rough just picked up all those tangent tray paperbacks I never caught so much shit online as last week people were so upset that I didn't have any heads for them Oh, I'm sure you that you can make up for it this week. I'm gonna make up for it. I apologize everyone I didn't know it would upset you so much And as you know, I love a great deal and It has to be easy when you got a great deal. You don't want to have to go through the hoops, right?

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I don't know if I'd want to use it. You know, I have to have like multiple ones. This is my face manscaper and this is my balls manscaper. Yeah, look, because I don't know if they're sending you these manscape things, but I have like four of them now. They just sent me another one. They just sent me the chairman. Yeah, I got them.

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Get 20% off plus free shipping with the code TESD at manscaped.com. That's 20% off plus free shipping with the code TESD at MANSCAPED.com. All right. Halfway done with them. Let's see. Oh, yeah. Well, I wanted to ask you this because you know far more about sports than I do. Far more.

Far more. I don't know anything about sports, so it's not that hard to know more than me. You're an invalid when it comes to sports. Right. Yeah. Total. Deficient. Retarded almost, somebody would say. Retarded at sports. Your lack of information regarding sports is shocking, someone said. I know nothing. I know Tom Brady. Anything I know is because I've heard you mention it. All right, yes.

Okay. So if you had a league that was losing $40 million a year, would you think that those players should have their salaries bumped up. If it's the WNBA, yes. I thought I was going to get him. I thought I was going to get him. Because if you don't, you're going to take it out of chin. He's too sharp.

But if it's NHL where it's all white guys, take it from the NHL and give it to the ladies. Yeah, I agree. Take it from them and give it to the ladies because they deserve it more than the NHL does. They do, right? Although to be fair, I think the WNBA playoff ratings are dwarfing the NHL ratings right now. Are they really?

Yeah. I think there's – it feels like the WNBA is on the upswing. I've never seen more stories about it in my feeds. So something is happening. Well, it's all about Caitlin Clark, right? I don't know. I don't follow it. I don't know what it is, but the amount of stories that I keep getting suggested say that something is happening and you know,

maybe they're losing money right now, but if things are looking, maybe projecting towards things, you know, starting to even out and then not, and then after they even out, maybe getting into the black then, because the ratings are certainly on the upswing, I would think. They're doing better than NHL. Have you seen some of these women like in their regular clothes, going to the The ratings are certainly on the upswing, I would think. They're doing better than NHL. Have you seen some of these women in their regular clothes going to the games? No.

Dude, some of them look like fucking supermodels. It's unbelievable. The way they dress, a lot of times with the NBA, they wear suits. That is not the case. These girls are wearing bare midriff, like nice sexy skirts. I mean, Jesus, it caught my attention. Yeah. I mean, that's how you could sell it.

Looking good. I think Q is off. Q, are you off? Yeah. No. Oh, you look like you were frozen. No, just listening to this. Yeah.

Just listening to it. Just taking it in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, you're of the opinion that yes, they deserve more money even though they're losing 40 million a year. I mean. Got to pay them as much as the NBA.

Yeah. Take it from the leagues that are doing well then. Yeah? Yeah. That sounds a lot like socialism, doesn't it? Share it all because put it all into one big basket. You know, NFL's doing probably too well. Previous banking too much money. I see that in baseball too.

I see the contracts some of these guys make and I'm like, yeah, don't be fucking kidding me. Like they pay that much. Speaking of baseball, Keough, as the resident baseball guy on Tell'em Steve-Dave. Sure. What do you think of the baseball's decision to play a staggering amount of playoff games during the daytime? I find it shocking and absolutely a head-scratcher as to why the most interesting time of the year is relegated to weekday afternoon playoff games. I have no idea why they would do this.

I don't know why. I don't understand it myself. I don't get it. I don't know why they don't let their regular team announcers announce the teams into the postseason. I think that they got to kind of course correct a little bit because it is annoying To spend all year with certain announcers and then get to the postseason and like oh no now There's these fucking three knuckleheads. You gotta listen to I don't get that. I don't get I mean look if the games in California Obviously you're gonna be thrown off into in times in New York, but I don't get the afternoon. I'm with you

It's like people who work man. It doesn't make any sense to me because here you have some two major markets in New York being in the playoffs and you have the world's, you know, they're saying the greatest baby baseball player who has ever lived like right now that guy in the Dodgers and you want to put them on in prime time, I would think. And they're showing these games in the middle of the afternoon. And they don't do that. Correct me if I'm wrong. And if this is the case, then I will shut my mouth and I'll apologize to baseball. But are there this many weekday afternoon games during the regular season?

I mean, if you go across the spectrum, probably, but no. Sometimes Wednesdays have day games, I think. But for the most part, no, it's evening games. But there are days, it's not unheard of to have Dave games, but I don't think that's what you're talking about. You're talking about the important games that everybody wants to watch live. Yeah, and they're on at like three o'clock in the afternoon. And I'm like, why? Yeah, I mean, I get if you're playing in California, you know, the Dodgers, they have a seven o'clock, eight o'clock start time. It's by necessity in New York. You're at four or five o'clock.

I get it. But yeah, but but. But they know what you know in the World Series starts, though, that they're not going to let the Dodgers start at they're going to have to start at eight o'clock if they make it to the World Series. Yeah, I don't know. That's what you do with football, too. Like if a football game starts on the West Coast if they want it in prime time They start at a five o'clock Like West Coast is used to this I think but in the East Coast where everything really matters Why the fuck are you putting your most important games? You're you're if you want to sell the game that I think is kind of taking a backseat to all the other professional sports

lately in terms of national interest. I don't think it's the national pastime any longer. I feel you've got to put these games on a prime time and make it easier for people to find them and see them. Well, here's, I don't know how it fits in with the other scheduling, but the, I think another thing to maybe consider is this is like, I think for a lot of people, once their team is out They don't give a fuck anymore. So they stop watching. You know what I mean?

So maybe it's just the viewership of it gets to a level where they're like, you know We you know, it's we got to put other things in that part of them I don't know I don't I don't get it and I know brah you desperately wanted to fuck and try to get that WNBA story in. Yeah. So now this is the cost of you bringing up sports. I know, listen to baseball. I'm thinking about, I'm still thinking about mouth. I saw the glazed over eye. I look like Q frozen before.

So how are the Mets and Yankees doing at this point? What's the, what's the update? Well, the, the Yankees are just decimating Cleveland, which we expect. Have they closed them out yet? Not yet, not yet. What's the series? Three games to one or two?

Three to one on the Yankee side. How's your Mets doing? The Mets are in that exact situation. They're down by two. Three games to one as well. They won last night, but they're in a must-win situation They can't lose another game If and they're playing the Dodgers and they're playing against Mookie Betts, which is that player you're talking about so it's fucking hard

But well, I thought the best player the Dodgers was this was this Asian guy. Oh oh Oh honey, yeah, Tony. Thank you. The 50 50 guy who 50 stole a base is 50 home runs. Yeah, yeah, I was. He's going to pitch. I heard next year. Didn't you pitch in the past though? Wasn't that like, I don't think he pitched at all this year, but he's going to become

a star in the past. Wasn't wasn't he? They're not going to make him a pitcher. Get the fuck out of here. Injury injuries this year. He couldn't pitch, but for a guy who hasn't tuned into baseball in decades, when I was into baseball, the pitchers swung the bat like, like get them. You know, they swung it as if they're trying to kill a fly that they were scared of.

That's the bar. It used to be great before the designated hitter thing came in. It would be great to watch pitchers get up. Right. And yeah, it was always so much fun. And then everybody was like, everybody would come out from the dugout and like smile and watch them. Like, here we go.

Let's, you know what I mean? Everybody would laugh. If they got on first base, even the place would go wild. Yeah, if they somehow got a hit, the whole place would go ape shit crazy. they somehow got a hit the whole place would go would go apeshit crazy the crowd the players because it was so rare for a pitcher to get a hit. So when did the National League get rid of all that fun and and adopt the DH? It was in recent years that it changed it was real recent. Do you like that? Or do you, you would rather see the nationally keep traditional? Yeah, I would rather see them, see them going up to the plate.

I always thought it was fun when they did it. And do you like the pitch count too? These are all things that I didn't even know existed. The pitch count clock, I hated in theory, I, cause what it is Brian is like they, now they make it so pitchers have to pitch They want to keep the game going like the speed of the game going So now instead of lala gagging pitchers have a pitch clock that they have to that they have to keep up with On paper. I hated it

I don't understand like to me baseball is a game that doesn't need to be shorter Like the whole point of it is you put it on you spend the afternoon with it in the background or you go to a game you sit there with your friends. But it hasn't bothered me as much as the rule of like if you go into overtime, you start out with a player on second place in the playoffs. Does that start? Does that that goes away in the that goes away on the playoffs. But like, fuck man, I hate it. I hate it. It doesn't I fucking hate it. I don't think it could last I think they got to get rid of that rule. It's such a fucking cheap thing, man Yeah, I don't you just start out with a guy on second like fuck off like get this shit out of here

I think Walt I hear that Otani won't pitch this season after a major elbow injury, but he can still hit Yeah, he's got a ganglion cyst, I heard. Oh no, really? Really? He got over here, he sees a superstar, he starts fingering our chicks. I also was shocked to hear that you can't throw over, like if you got a man on first and you're a pitcher and you're trying to keep him close to the bag, you can only throw over two times in an inning. That's another rule that I was just stunned to find out that they've implemented.

All this shit is just to keep the game moving along, which is like, I don't get, if you love something, you want less of it? I don't understand. I find it, if I was like a fierce baseball guy find it, you know, if I was like a fierce baseball guy and somebody who just, who tuned out for decades now is bitching about it on a podcast, I'd be like, well, fuck you. You haven't been around and supported baseball in 30 years and now you're going to come in and criticize all these new rules that we've tried to implement to make the game faster for younger viewers and not have games stretch into three and a half to four hour lengths But yeah, but who decides who gets to be the fuck you is what I would say to anybody who criticized you Walt Why can't you come in here and just give whatever it like you like?

I don't care. You know what I mean? Like I hold your opinion more valuable than theirs. What do you think about that? Okay. All right. You know, we just gotta who's the commissioner baseball, right? Who's the commission? What do you think about that? Okay. All right. You know, we just gotta who's the commissioner baseball, right? Who's the commission? You've got to get it. You got to get in with him cue and tell him all everything that's wrong with all these newfangled rules and 2024 baseball I'm on it. I'm on it We need to bring back fucking big chested women who run out to the mound and sneak a kiss That would be great. I'd watch baseball. Keep the pitch count, clock, but also let's bring back chesty fucking women on the prowl for kisses.

You took them away from us in comics. You can't take it away from us in baseball too. We won't stand for it. Baseball was the sport that invented the honey shot, right? Didn't it come from baseball where they instruct the cameramen to find beautiful women in the crowd and focus on them so they could cut to it for the announcers to talk about? I never heard that. It used to be for the announcers to talk about. I never heard that.

It used to be called the honey shot. Yeah, it was like, they would be like, all right, we need a couple of honey shots in the game. And then it was like, it would just be a beautiful woman. And the guys wouldn't be like, look at them broads. They'd be like, all right, here's a fan out here enjoying the day. You know what I mean? You know what?

It would always be hot chicks. And then like as the years go by, they were like, look, you can't just, you can't just be pointing out these girls. So then you get... I remember when Kev first opened the stash on Mama Street. When I worked there on the weekends, there was a tape left. We were dubbing in bootleg and VHS tapes, but there was one tape.

We weren't selling this one, but it just was left on the counter. I assume it came from Kevin or I don't know where it came from. I don't know where it came from either, I remember it though. But this was like a tape of called banned shots from Major League Baseball like when you put the camera on the crowd. These were shots that were never allowed to be used. One of the shots was this one really hot chick just going mad on herself and her boyfriend being annoyed.

He would look at her and be like, almost like he was disgusted. Tried to cover her up with his shirt and she would go to a, I remember dude, I remember. And she was going fucking crazy ballistic. It was like she had Spanish fly. Yeah, she was in the last, she was in the last row.

All the way, I remember this video. Seattle was beaten to like the Yankees 11-0. We were all watching in the office. We were like, check it out, check it out. And that guy was really trying to cover up and she was like, get the fuck off you funny duddy. I'm doing it. I remember it like it was yesterday.

You've got to find that tape and when you get that meeting with the commission, you're going to be like, hey, commissionally pop this in. This is what we got to bring back to baseball. I'm like, you guys, you guys know the Hawks too. We girl, right? This girl, she's the original. Yeah. I remember that tape.

Holy shit. I wonder what she was fucking mad, right? She was just like, she could not stop pleasuring herself. Well, she just, I remember her thinking, I remember the time even thinking like, they're not going to last because this chick's wild and this guy's like, Oh dear, you got to cover up your vagina. And she was like, get the fuck out of it. I mean, she was legs spread.

Yeah. I was even hiding it. There was nobody like it hurt like to paint a more accurate picture for those who don't know what we're talking about. I didn't see it. There was nobody in the stands and her, like her bleacher section. The game was a blowout. It was like, it was 11 o'clock at night.

It was a night game. She might've had the whole upper deck to herself. Yes. Like that's how empty it was. So all of a sudden, yeah, she pulls down her shirt to start fucking flicking the bean like a... As if she's never flicked it before. She just found out how good it feels. Or it's her last time flicking it.

Yeah. And her boyfriend was a fucking, had the stink eye. He was so annoyed at her. What would you do? You go to baseball games, you're there with a lady. Now or back then? It's a playoff game in the middle of the afternoon. Now I get up and I walk away. I can't be on tape with that. But back in the day, I would throw, I'd be like, look, here's the deal. Let me throw my jacket over your legs and then I'll get my hand in there and we'll have a good time. But this, you know what I mean?

But this girl, I mean, I mean, it was an era before people were used to being constantly under surveillance. Like it never even fucking occurred to her that she would be- That's it. Yeah. We're watching it right now. Get them, found it. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like it was just a more, there was no, you know, why would she think that they were going to fucking videotape her?

Nobody thought it because nobody was, you're not going to get that fun anymore. So you don't think that happens in today's, uh, oh, I'm sure it happens, but I, yeah, I'm sure it happens, but I don't think there's a you think that there's a new version of that, a current version of like banned crowd shots that gets passed around to the stadiums by the professionals? Or like, you'll never believe what we caught these people doing, you know, adoring the game. I mean, I'll tell you what, Walt. You want to ask about a project I'll invest money in if they want to do BQ's honey shots.

And it's just like... They call it that? BQ's honey shots, it's just like. They call it that, BQ's honey shots. BQ's honey shots. Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for BQ's honey shots. Can you narrate it? Yeah, no, I'll do it like, you know how like ridiculousness where they're standing in front of the TV and they're presenting it, I'll just stand there and be like, this comes from Baltimore, this comes from the Baltimore game. Here we go.

It's time for a honey shot. And it just zooms in. You're selling it on late night TV? Fuck it, why not? That sounds like fun for everyone. And it won't just be women, Walt. Let's say a guy is sitting- Oh, come on, I don't want to see a dude go fucking-

No. He gets arrested no it's not like that but he's sitting with his legs a little too wide and like his balls are just slipping out of his shorts a little bit and we'll call them like honey bloopers will be like well well well nuts we bring it back style I mean that I would invest a lot of my money into. I believe there's a market for that. Everything I have. Pull it out of all your savings accounts.

I think what I'm hearing is a picture on exclusive. Your financial advisor's like, Q, do you realize the internet – with the internet, you can't make money off this anymore. You can't sell this on home video. That's what you think. That's why you're sitting in a cubicle and I'm BQ. But Q, you've got to rethink this. This is a massive investment on something that people get to see for free on the internet if they look hard enough. Not on videotape. Your office coach found it within two seconds.

But I'm presenting it, bro. Yeah. It's got the big stamp of approval on it. I'll just keep investing money in it and I'll just write in the checkbook like ask my ask my accountant. Very. He cues honey shots coming 2025 for Patreon. We'll do it. We'll figure it out. Yeah, I'm like, listen to me like strip clubs are still in business. People want this content. They want the honey shots. I don't know if you get much argument. I just don't know if they're going to pay for it though, Q. In this day and age, I don't know if they're willing to pony up $24.95 for your

DVD. Her boyfriend covering her up as she goes to town on herself. I don't know how many copies of that DVD you got to sell to recoup that investment. If you haven't locked down Q'shoneyshots.com by now, you're missing a trick. Oh, that is funny. I can't believe we all remember that woman. You got to send me the link. That's crazy. This has got to be 20 years later. It wasn't even we all remember that woman. You got to send me the link. That's crazy. This has got to be 20 years later.

It wasn't even hard to remember. Yeah. Wow, that's funny. I forgot what she was wearing, a black shirt and white shorts. I always say that. I'm like, oh God, it must have been 20 years ago. But then I'm like, wait a second, it's 2024. So that would be 2004.

It just seems so recent. Yeah. Yeah. When I was talking to Ming, I was like, motherfucker, like I've known this guy for like 30 years, something like that now, you know what I mean? Like, we're 25 years or whatever the fuck it's so long, man. It's why it's crazy. We're all just. Ming Chen's big time in us too. Me and Gitta. What do you mean? We've reached out to him multiple times.

He hasn't answered texts. He's just kind of like ghosted us. Really? Yeah. What are you looking for him to do? Gitta wants to buy something off him at cost. So that's why I'm telling him like, dude. He doesn't give a fuck because you want to buy something from him at cost.

That's why he doesn't answer. That's why I'm not answering. He's like, oh no, let me get right on this. What does he want to buy something from him at cost. That's why he doesn't return your text. He's like, Oh no, let me get right on this. What do you want to, what does he want to buy from Ming? Some sort of audio equipment that he wants that he thinks will behoove the studio and Ming has it and he wants to see if he could buy one of, what was it? What is it? A H6.

An H6. A Zoom recorder. A Zoom H6 recorder. You have two of them already. buy a one of what was it? What is it? A zoom recorder. It does something special that ours doesn't do. Oh yeah. 32 bit float. Okay. I might have one that I could bring that we could use, get them. And not to take me out of a sale, but I might have one we could use. Not much of a sale. He isn't making anything off of it. Right, right, right.

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Halloween? Will you be celebrating? Halloween? No, bigger day than that. Oh, my birthday? Yeah. Doing anything fun? Uh, I might, might take a ride down to, I really don't like it that much, but my wife is on a winning streak,

so she thinks that every time she goes, she's going to win down to AC. So she's kind of like a strong arm man to me and that's what I want to do for my birthday. Because she constantly wins and I'm like, okay, I guess if that's what. And you get yelled at by old ladies. Stop looking at the camera. Yeah, but that's what we're going to do. Maybe take a ride down early in, like mid-morning down to AC and try to get back by 7. Oh, not even stay the day?

No, no. I mean, after an hour or two, I'm down here. I'm like, I'm done. Right. Yeah. And you can't even go back to the room because... We're not getting a room. That's what I mean. You can't go back to the room. So however long Deb wants to stay, that's done. Right. Yeah. You can't even go back to the room because- We're not getting a room. That's what I mean.

You can't go back to the room. So however long Deb wants to stay, that's how long you're staying. It falls on a Wednesday, I think. So there's not much that's open. Maybe if it was on a weekend, maybe I'd pick a flea market or something. I haven't been to a flea market in a while. Maybe that's what I would do, but I really can't think of anything I want to do anyway, so it's fine. Yeah. I'll go down, see what happens.

What the hell? It's not like it's a big one. It's kind of in the middle of everything. Yeah, yeah. I don't even really like to acknowledge it at this point. I'd rather no one mentioned it. All right. Let me tell you about brownies and downies. I think somebody tweeted this. I'm not sure if I was supposed to be offended by it, but I wasn't. In the Netherlands, there's this bakery and it's called Brownies and Downies. And the brownies are what they are. And the Downies are the Down syndrome people who work in the store. I don't think it's exclusively, but it's mostly people with Down syndrome.

And the store is called Brownies and Downies? Called Brownies and Downies and it's in the Netherlands. I was reading on, I looked on Reddit over it and they were saying like in the Netherlands, it's like almost an affectionate term. It's not like it would be here. I've never heard that term before until just now though. I heard it once, Ken, an aunt, Kenny Rubenis, I can't remember how to pronounce his last name. He said a girl that he was with said that they call them Downies wherever he's from.

I can't remember. I mean, he might be from the Netherlands too. It doesn't sound that horrible. I guess it's all context the way you say it, right? Yeah, yeah. Like if you're saying it through gritted teeth with the stuff. These fucking Downies touching my fucking Brownies. But if you say it with loving, it sounds like maybe a sweet and endearing maybe. Yeah.

It's all context, I guess. Yeah. I remember when Tom Segura put this comedy special out and the National Down Syndrome Association or something put out this video because Tom Segura had made fun of some Down Syndrome people or made a joke or something with Down syndrome people. I remember hearing it being like that, that's offensive. Like, come on, give me a break. But they put these Down syndrome people on video and they're all like, Tom Segura, we

don't like you. And they're going on and on and on about like how offended they are by this comedy bit. And I'm like, this is what's wrong. Somebody put them up to this shit. Because not one of those, I guarantee not one of those downies were watching the Tom Segura comedy special on their own, got offended, and then turned around and was like,

let's make a video telling Tom Segura what a jerk off he is. Probably, but what happened with the Netherlands bakery, though, they shut it down? No, they didn't shut it down. No, nothing happened with it. It was just something that I guess just popped up in the news. That's what it's called.

I don't know. It's a good thing to open a bakery and employ some people who have that, but I might sleep on that and give that a little bit more thought about what I'm going to name it if I'm going to name it that though. Out of context, it could rub people the wrong way. It could. But there's got to be a better name than that though, right? I don't know. I think it's pretty good.

Yeah, I agree. I think it's pretty good. If the Down syndrome people are in on it, and it did appear that they were. Yeah. It's just like, it's one of those things where people are in on it and it did appear that they were It's just like we like it's one of those things where people are getting offended on their behalf even though they're not offended Like if I said to sage like hey Danny She would not know what the fuck I was talking about because that's not something you say Well, you're bringing together two different things like the sagorath thing joke Which I don't know is not people didn't get offended at Brownies and Downies. Did they?

Not that I'm aware of in this country. Although you know what? No, that's not true because I saw it on Twitter. Somebody tweeted it to me and then I went to the original posting and I was looking at some of the comments and a lot of the comments were like, why the fuck would they name it this blah, blah, blah. And some people from the Netherlands piped in and were, it was like, look in the Netherlands, that's not offensive. Yeah. Like, do you dream up? It's good branding in my mind. Like, if it's not like a slur, like, it kind of sells what they're doing. And in fact, I might be like, if I was in the mood for a brownie, I might be like, well,

there's a fucking Annie Anne's brownie over there, but like, there's brownies and downies. I'd probably go to brownies and downies. You know what I mean? Why not support the cause? Yeah, yeah. I think it's good branding, but I don't have a good gauge of what's offensive or not. I don't think it could do it here. Right.

I, yeah. Yeah, I come up with an alternate name just for, to ensure, you know. So when people start picketing and shit. It's not, it's not the focus isn't on the name, the focus is on selling fucking brownies Well, what if they what if they called it Brown syndrome? Oh That's pretty good, too

You know like you want to go to Brown syndrome get that get some brownies Does that immediately put brownies in your mind though? Sounds like something you don't want to get No, that sounds like something you don't want to get. Yeah, it sounds like something you went to Tijuana and got. You had to drink the tap water. Hey, you want to go to Brown syndrome? What? No. Yeah, maybe you're right.

Back to drawing the board. Yeah. Yeah, the Tom Segura thing, I really was, I really felt bad for the people who were in it, who were in the video. I'm surprised the really felt bad for the people who were in it, who were in the video. I'm surprised that's the dude who used to host the fucking America's Funniest Home videos made that joke? No, that's Tom Bergeron.

Oh. Yeah, and... All right. I don't know who Tom Segura is. He's friends with that guy, what the fuck's his name? They call him the Machine Guy. Oh, Bert Kreischer. Bert Kreischer, right.

Also, you know what? Shane Gillis, the comedian, he has a coffee shop or something that he staffs with people with Down syndrome because I think he has a niece or something. His uncle, I think. Oh, is his uncle? His uncle? Yeah. Yeah. I thought that was pretty nice. Yeah. If I could wind up. I'm really surprised. Q, you're not here, so you can't. I'm not upset with you, but thank you No comments about how wonderful it smells in here Well when I first walked in

I'm really shocked that there hasn't been a comment about how how it how gingerbread fills the air Does it really because when I walked in it was Gittem's lunch and then Teddy came in and started farting like crazy Your nostrils checked because that gingerbread is just off the hook Like Bought that candle, you know, he's like because I screamed that I'm a smug like feet in here. Okay. Yeah. You said socks. It's so not the dog. And then you throw like your fucking socks.

I, I'm pretty sure I've said it before, but we might be due for like a carpet cleaning in that office. Yeah. So that wouldn't be the worst. Yeah, probably. We probably need a, uh, yeah. One of those rentals where you, where it gets soaked. We can't just put it to the, uh, to the landlord for it, be like, hey, come clean our carpet.

They didn't raise the rent for three years. I just want to make sure that we are as under the radar as possible. Three years, they kept the rent exactly the same way. So I'm kind of like, I'm okay if we have to rent it from like shop, right? Yeah, or food town. One of those things where you Well, I was thinking we could just like hire a service and come in and say, Why? We got a fucking office coach. He's fucking playing puzzle quest all day. You can put the phone down and fucking get the the sudsy soaker machine in here. You know why you're dead right.

You know we shut down the studio for three days, no usage, and he just gets in there and fuck it gets a deep pile cleaning. Get into the fuck of piles. Get all those dog farts out of it. When can he do that? When can he do that? When can he start that project? I think after we've recorded the TSD Christmas episode. I think we could have in between that area in December and New Year's Eve, I think there'll be a stretch where we'll be down and then we're going to come back to a new studio that's

going to be sparkling. Yeah, we usually go down between Christmas and New, we're gonna come back to a new studio that's gonna be sparkling. Yeah, we usually go down between Christmas and New Year's anyway, so. Yeah. That'd be a good time. I want these ceiling tiles all repainted, get them. I don't care if you gotta be there on Christmas. I don't care if you got to be there on Christmas. See, that's what happens though.

You come, you back off and you're like, oh no, we can't make them work over the Christmas break. It's a Christmas break. And that's why he's fucking, he's content and fucking just sitting playing puzzle quest, cashing your check. Thank you. Cashing your money that you're paying him. We're too good to him.

You're right. You need a little having. Might be that right. Yeah, puzzle quest, huh? That's the newest. That's the newest one. Oh, it's years. It's years in the making.

Yeah, since 2012, right? You said, get him? Yeah. Yeah, 2012 he's been playing. Oh, and if anybody's wondering about snoring earlier, it was not get? You said get him. Yeah, yeah 2012. He's been playing Well, if anybody's wondering about snoring earlier, it was not get him it was Teddy Was it sure to hear that on the mic so what do you got plans for a Halloween queue I'm not exactly sure yet. My schedule is still in flux. So I don't know. That's a bummer Yeah, you might not be celebrating it at all. I thought I thought you're I don't know. Nothing? That's a bummer. You might not be celebrating it at all. I thought you were on the West Coast.

That's what I don't know. I don't know if I'll be here or in California. Brian, how you celebrate? Same way I do every year. We go to Pam's house, have a pizza party. Sage dresses up. Sometimes she'll hit a couple of the neighbors. What did she be this year?

Did I ask this already? Yeah, it's not easy to remember though. Mommy Long Legs. It's from this cartoon she watches called Poppy's Playhouse. And this is at Sage. I mean, Mary Beth made this costume. Mary Beth is making this costume. Homemade costume. Yep, she's got us. And that's the one character that they don't have the costume for out of the whole fucking show. Gaten, what will you be doing on Halloween? I imagine a healthy dose of puzzle quest. Yes Candy that no one picked up during the day

Did you guys get a lot of visitors here and no none. No, I don't know why he goes and Spend so much money on wasting it on bags of candy that no one will ever so he could eat the fucking candy That's why he's just buying himself candy. Yeah, but why the big song and dance? Why the lie? Why the charade? If you really just want to fucking pig out on candy, just buy the candy. Don't buy it as like, oh, okay, well, this is in case trick-or-treaters come.

But if they don't come, I can't throw it out. I've got a gorge myself with it. Come on Fuck you this do you know full of chocolate and fries. I got too much chocolate in my system. Chocolate. Tell him Steve, Dave. I just want you to get vacuumed today. I'm going to get you a new vacuum. I'm going to get you a new vacuum.

I'm going to get you a new vacuum. I'm going to get you a new vacuum. I'm going to get you a new vacuum. I'm going to get you a new vacuum. I'm going to get you a new vacuum. I'm going to get you a new vacuum. I'm going to get you a new vacuum. I'm going to get you a new vacuum. I'm going to get you a new vacuum. Tell him Steve Dave.