Tell Em Steve-Dave - #639: The Hail Mary of Hail Marys

Episode Date: June 1, 2025

The curator compiles his favorite clips of the TESD Pateron

You would be the goat of finding fucking discarded sexual toys on the beach. Thanks for saving me. Nothing sexual happened to me. What did you do? What were you doing with those fingers? What did they make you do? Tell them Steve, Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's unusual edition of Tell them Steve, Dave. Not unusual because Q's not here.

That seems to be the usual now. But a different kind of format. What would you say, Walt? We're going to try it out. I think we've done this before. Have we? Yeah, I've done it a couple of times. All right, so not that unusual. It's like a clip show. Little clip show. Best of. Yeah, people love best ofs, right? They were a staple when we were growing up. Every season, almost every show had a best of compilation of this of the season you just watched. Right, yeah.

Yeah. And now when you rewatch those old shows and it's the best ofs like you just watched. Right, yeah. Yeah. Now when you rewatch those old shows and it's the best of, like, or the flashback episodes, you're like, what the fuck? Yeah, like, there would be an episode in the middle of the season where it's like, hey, let's flashback to how we met somebody. And then it's just all clips. Well, it was also, I'm sure, a cost- cost saving move by the production. You could just reuse old clips.

I mean this didn't save us any money. I paid the curator a fee to go through our Patreon library and compile a best of clips. All right. If there's anybody that's going to do it correctly. You got to think it's the curator. You have to think it's the curator. You have to think it's the curator. I gave him carte blanche. These are his picks.

All right. If you disagree, it's not our fault. Yeah. If you don't like these clips or you think he didn't do a good job, let him know. I see him out and about on social media. He's out there. He'll hear you. Yeah.

He'll let him defend himself once in a while. Yeah. Why the fuck should you have to do it? You're not the one who picked the clips. Fuck you, curator. Up first is an old ad that we pulled because we were terrified that we took the piss out of our own product and it would tank if we released this ad. It was for the four-color demons jerseys that we

released on MerchTable. God, it's got to be going on 10 years now. I remember them. They were shimmery. They were shimmery. When I got them in my hands, because I only saw a picture of them, when I got them in my hands, I was very taken aback by how – I mean, Liberace wouldn't be caught dead in these things. I think this is one of the jokes, though, too, in here, though, but that's this clip. Without further ado, I present to you the only Tell'em Steve-Dave merch ad that has ever been pulled from an episode. Well, Four-Color Demon Hockey Jersey is back in stock, right? That's true. that has ever been pulled from an episode.

Full Color Demon Hockey Jersey is back in stock, right? That's true. They are coming back in the stock. If they are not in stock right now, you can at least order it and there's a date when they will be shipping out. I don't know if they're doing the name thing in the back anymore. I don't know. I've got some not very clear cohesive emails, but I don't know, I've got some not very clear cohesive email, but I don't know.

They're like all day long. It's on the front lines. This is fucking mean. I don't know. But they look good though, do you see them? They look great. They kind of remind me as if they had a whole bunch of Baron von Flanagan capes and there are too many of them and they just turned them into fucking four-color demon jerseys. They're so satiny and they have like a luster to them.

They were supposed to be like the lightweight for summer, not knowing that they're going to come out in September. I mean, if I had known that they were going to be that fucking glorious and fucking like Liberace looking, I would have fucking said like, these are made from fucking, each one is made from a fiber from Baron von Flanagan's cape. I mean I would have fucking built that up as something special. If I had known they were these this fucking fabulous to find a silk for the Orient. I mean these jerseys look boss I got another one done. It's as if fucking Liberace and fucking Rip Taylor and they made their own hockey team. binary on ice was I talking about the right guy rip Taylor or yeah rip Taylor what was he in the fucking the confetti the yeah. And the guy from Match Game, who is that guy? Nelson Reilly? Charles Nelson Reilly. Charles Nelson Reilly.

Yeah. Ooh. Ooh, God. I want to play some hockey. Did I always bring your jerseys? Yeah, because I'll go to TellEmSteveDave.com if you want one of those jerseys. No, I'm serious. I placed a big order.

I'm only kidding. These are fucking manly as hell. Mad Fientist – Perfect for busting tight pussies. Sunky smoothies. Jeff – Yeah, believe me, you'll be busting. I'm talking about busting nuts for fuck nuts. That's where you bust a nut in that jersey. In a girl. Mad Fientist – Right.

That's the only way we do it. After doing gay stereotypes for five minutes, it's like, you're always just fucking busting nuts in girls' faces, right? Let's be clear on that. You bust your nut wherever you want. You buy a jersey. Yeah, you're right. Anywhere you want, anywhere you please.

Yeah. You fucking bust your nut on the train tracks. Tell them SteveDave.com. Order one now. So I'm not going to – I don't think every single clip needs an intro. But this one may, because this one is me telling you about a conversation I had with Frank about wanting to turn him into a woman and having my baby. And he was very upset by that.

Frank and five. Frank and Five? Frank and Five, well, Frank Five, not Frank and Five, but the actor who plays Frank and Five. I told him of my – one of the funniest text exchanges I've ever had in my life. I was crying in it. I remember this. Yeah, when I told him like, hey, in episode two, we're going to do this movie. And I thought, again, I was going back to Cough and Joe.

There's a movie that Cough and Joe did. I thought it was dubbed, but apparently I was wrong. I thought we were going to get the dubbed version where he is looking to impregnate the most beautiful woman so he can have a son. So he can have pass on to, he wants to sire a son. And I hope Brian doesn't know about this because I can't wait for you to find out. I think he knows about it. But so I said, we're going to get this movie. It's awesome. I said, I already got the wraparound footages, the little set up the middle and the end sequences is

where at the opening of the movie, we're going to talk about coffin Joe and how coffin Joe is a friend of mine, the Baron. Yeah. And then we're going to have, I was going to talk about Koff and Joe and how Koff and Joe is a friend of mine, the Baron. Yeah. And then we're going to have, I was going to have Victor play Koff and Joe. And Koff and Joe in the middle sequence was going to come in and knock and ring the doorbell of the castle. And he was going to be like, you know, I see you're still not married. You still don't have a son like I do.

And he was going to put it in my face that I haven't sired a son. The Baron doesn't have a spawn yet. So I was like – so I proclaimed to Captain Death and Frank of Five, I was like, we're going to put out a call to all the most beautiful women in the world for the chance to become the carrier of the baron seed. I was like, get a fire on the phone. Get all these names. Get Angelie Jolie. Then we would cut to then we were cut to in the later segment that no one showed up. I was real down about it. Frank in Five would be like, Baron, master, I have an idea. Then we'd

cut back to the movie. At the end of the sequence, I told him, we would cut to where I'm like Captain of Death? Captain Oblivion. Captain Oblivion comes into a nursery and he stops because it's – Franken-Five is sitting in a rocking chair holding a baby, nursing a baby doll. I'm all over Franken-Five's shoulder as the baron and I'm going, I'm cooing to this baby doll and you're like, what happened? He goes, oh, I go, well, since nobody answered the one ad for it to be the mother of my child, I just did a little quick

operation on Franken-Five. Just changed a little plumbing downstairs and gave him some breasts and now the baron now has a son. I'll change him back as soon as the baby's on solid food. I'll change him back to a male. Can he go for it? He was horrified. Frank-5 literally was like, I can't do that. I work at a college. I thought he was fucking around. I was like, what are you talking about?

Because I can't do that. He goes, so the insinuation is that you fucked me and got me pregnant and now I'm carrying your baby to term and I'm now a woman. I can't do that. He goes I go bro It's a fucking you're an actor. It's like yeah, it's not you. You're in makeup Talking about he goes. I'm sorry. I can't do that. I like are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking fucking with me? He goes no, I goes that's I got I go I don't have many lines He goes, but that's one I can't do he goes I

Was just dying and I eventually talked him into it's like come on. He's like our guys. All right, I don't have many lines, he goes, but that's one I can't do, he goes. And I was just dying. And I eventually talked him into it. I was like, come on. He's like, all right, I'll trust you. I go, I'm telling you, it'll be funny. Then we never followed up with it. We got to do it though, right? You broke him. That's all that counts.

I think now, yeah, definitely. We got to do it, right? I mean, in this world now, this is 20, what? 18? 2023? Yeah, 2019. I mean, I think he'd be fucking elevated to the fucking Dean of colleges if he fucking, if they even thought that he transitioned.

He'd be in a little parade for him. I mean, you can't support the cause any more than that. Yeah. But yeah, I just remember just that this, I wish I still had the text I would give him to you, we could put on screen. But when I got a new phone, all those texts disappeared. I was like, I don't get rid of any texts, but those texts are gone though. Oh, that's so funny.

He was so weirded out. I do, I do remember him telling me this. Yeah, I did. It was as if like, I said like, well, like he really thought like we were going to have to have sex and pull this off. I was like, I thought I would get those fake boobs and everything. I said, we'll paint them green, I said. It'll be hysterical. I have it.

It's going to be amazing. He's like, I can't do it. I can't believe we're going to release this clip to the general listener base. This is not something they've heard before. This is scandalous. This was the reveal of my nickname from the Blue Juice Comics One True Three Championship. Oh, I remember well. Held in secrecy by all those who were in the room for years.

We finally revealed it for Moolah on Patreon. During the Blue Juice Comics 1-2-3 Invitational, I told a story from the 1977-78 era about playing football with some older children and they gave me a nickname while playing because I went out deep for a pass and I caught it, like a deep pass and I caught the ball and they were impressed by that. But it wasn't that catch. Then they threw me another, the guy was like, I remember the older kid, when you huddle and you go through the plays in the grass. He said, okay, you, he didn't know my name. He goes, you go out and you go through the plays in the grass, he said, okay, you – he didn't know my name.

He goes, you go out and you go out to the post and – I don't know what a post was – but just go out to the right and cut and I'll throw you the ball. He threw me the ball and I had to dive and catch it and I caught it. Him and the older kids said – because they were calling me this name and I didn't know what it was before that Because I had the album and it begins with F and and rhymes with maggot But I didn't know what that's what they were calling me and then he go that maggot has

Got it's got sticky fingers and the other kid goes. Yeah, he's got maggot fingers And so then every time I went to a huddle the kid was like, hey you maggot fingers You go this way and you know, I didn't like, hey, you maggot fingers. You go this way. And, you know, I didn't know. I was like, I'm maggot fingers for life, bro. I'm like, I love it. I was like, I'm going to get that on my jersey. So I remember going home and telling my mom that I play with the older boys and I really

impressed him and I told him the name. My poor mom had to be like, what did you do? What were you doing with those fingers? What did they make you do to learn the name maggot fingers? Isn't that fucking weird world we live in where like every single person listening to this knows exactly what you're talking about But don't say the word. Yeah, I'm not saying it Who was involved back then so limbo was number one that was me lust was two that was get him gluttony, three, also Get'em.

At this point, our universe hasn't grown enough that we have nine separate lords of hell. Brian Q must play a Halloween-themed game of dyslexia and get every question correct. And this is one of the ones where you guys came at each other like the most. This first one Because you also use call a dyslexic as part of the car

No was a real guy And he was getting them right to because it's so ridiculous that it would actually translate Yeah, I told the guy the answers. I said, I'm just going to reveal the answers to you beforehand so you get them. So it really frustrates these guys. Yes. That's hilarious. Cause everyone was so shocked. It's like, how is he actually getting these? But like when I, when I thought it was Rob Bruce, it was because he was working in comp book men and I remember him telling me he was dyslexic and I was like shit I wonder if I should use Rob Bruce and I remember I was like and then a listener

emailed in and said he was I was like you know what Rob Bruce is harder to work with than a stranger. He will fuck it up. Yeah that's funny. He will fuck it up and he will like up and he'll screw it up and reveal that he knew the answers. I trusted a stranger not to fuck that up more than Rob Bruce. That's so funny. Two things I order from time. I don't want to. Go ahead, reveal it. One of them is going to be Lost in Space.

Yes. Lost in Space on VHS. That turned out to be pricey, right? First episode open, second episode open, third episode, seal, fourth episode, seal. It's like, this is awesome. Terrible. I saw that commercial on TV and I had to convince my wife, I'm married at the time, to call the number.

So, and she's like, how much is it? It's $30 a month. Yeah, that's when VHS was expensive. So she's like, we can't afford $30 a month. And we really, realistically, she was probably telling the truth. I'm not making good money back then. I'm working crazy little hours. And so I convinced her again.

Nights are rough. Tantrums, holding my breath and then being like, look, you give me $5 a day for lunch, I said. I'll starve to death. I will cut down on my consumption of lunch over the course of the month and I'll get it to at least 20 to 25. All you got to give me is 10 or 5 more." That's nothing. I finally wore her down. She goes, you better watch them. You better watch these. When they started piling up unwatched, I was like, just

call and cancel it. Just call and cancel it. Oh, look what I did. Why'd you let me do this? Stupid, stupid robot. Oh, look what I did. Oh, stupid, stupid robot. Oh, dear. Young Flanagan. The other thing I bit the bullet on, and I regret it so badly, again, I had to ask my wife to do it was…

It's got to put it through Congress. The $6 million man on DVD box set. I have that too though. Do you remember that? It will never be sold in stores. Those – I remember that was a lie. It was in stores in less than a year. But it wasn't.

For half the price I paid for it. Not in that nice box though. The liticular box? I didn't need it. I rarely even open it. When I open it now, the tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin

tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin tin . The sound chip broke or the batteries wore out. There was, you know how much you can get the Six Man and the Dollar Man seasons now

on DVD? Cheap. Yeah, like $5. $5. I paid upwards of three hundred dollars for that Or is it is it on blue right now or only racing all the features though that that box that has Oh really missing a lot of stuff. They released it on blue. Yeah, it is It is on blue. I don't have a blu-ray plot. I guess I do have a blu-ray player, but I would not upgrade. Can we start over again? I haven't even watched the episode. They're still sealed in place. He's better off like watching it through that View Master. So Tales of Rhyme of the Fate counter and Brian Nichell.

Brian Nichell was the director. What's it called? Showrunner? Showrunner, yeah. How is that different from a director? It's not, is it? It doesn't seem like it is. No, it seems like they're kind of one and the same. And he was the showrunner on Combook Men for seven seasons, and on the Patreon we decided to do a behind-the-scenes look at every single episode of Combook Men.

And we asked Brian Nichelle to be the host, because who better than him to give his point of view on how he saw things as opposed to our point of view you know he from a different perspective right yeah, Michelle could come from and initially The Tales from behind the Fate counter starred all the comic book men and Brian Michelle But much like Chuck from Happy Days Mike disappeared and never be heard from again You don't know Chuck from Happy Days was. That means you're too young or you don't have Google. Yeah, you're going senile and you lost your memory. What we're doing here, my friends, is we are going to peel back the layers of reality show

funk and reveal all of the filthy, disgusting, and tawdry little secrets that went into making comic book men the most successful late night basic cable television show that ever followed repeats of premiere episodes of the walking dead Stated goal and we will do that for. Up next is a clip from one of the standout series on Patreon, Tales Behind the Fate Counter. Sure. Number one show. It's either that or the All New Sunday Jeff Show. I don't know if people can –

People do like All New Sunday Jeff. People – and they like – it's all about Frank, oddly enough too. Not because it's Frank, but because of the format. The format's strange, yeah. But Brian O'Shell is and has become a podcasting superstar. And here's some clips from Tales from Behind the Fake Counter. And again, Brian just delivers a great line where I say that you get this magic flute and if you play the right tune, this magical dragon will come and protect you from witchy poo.

And Brian goes, It's kind of like prison. If you play the right magic flute, you might get some protection. Right. From which flute. Yeah, if you know what he's talking about. Great line. And people are going to be like, there's no way they didn't plan it.

There's no way that happened organically. And we're here to tell you, it's all organic, man. That's the genius of Brian Johnson. That is. That is. Of everyone, though, like, I mean, nobody was told what to say, really, except like, here's the situation that Brian Johnson. That is. That is. Of everyone though, nobody was told what to say really except like, here's the situation that you got to do. Yeah, but we need what they would refer to as the button and nobody could button it.

Nobody had to, none of the four of us can button it. Only you can button it. That's why you were, no matter how many drugs you did. Yeah. We'd drag them in here, we'd eat a button. And most of the time, no, he's going to prison. All right, get him out of here. All right, done. Can someone please get a PA to go to Elizabeth to get this guy some more What a great way to end that little banter though. Perfect. I mean you couldn't again, you couldn't script it. And it just comes from...

Well you could, but it would not be as good as that though. It would take a while. You need a writer's room with a bunch of people putting up note cards and spitballing. Yeah, a lot of high-paid writers would have to come up with that. Ivy League graduates. AMC got it on the cheap Right joke the right situation, you know what I'm saying. Yeah what this calls for here is a prison rape Watching those episodes immediately I ran to the to the get the razor and shave my sideburns off because I could not stand the way it looked. So glad you didn't watch those episodes.

Oh my God. I was just traumatized. I'm like, oh my God, my hair is a fucking mess because you are like, you can't get a haircut no matter what happens. We started shooting, no haircuts from now until we wrap. So I couldn't get a haircut and it is just a fucking horror show. Dude, fuck your sideburns.

I have matronly bosoms. Like, I look so fucked up from my hair to my tits to my clothes. I am so, like I'm falling apart and sad and just like pathetic and I just sit there and I'm like, everyone's fucking stupid except me. Maybe that's why it worked. Your hair, you had this weird King Tut thing going on.

Yeah, you had the mushroom thing going on. It looks like a mushroom. Really weird, yeah. Like white boy king. But in this first episode, yeah. Or maybe it's the second episode. I have a point later on about that hair. Yeah, but my hair, I should have gotten a haircut.

I don't know why I didn't get a haircut before we started shooting, but boy, that was the biggest regret was watching this season, season one, and being like, oh my God, why the fuck didn't I get a haircut? So much so that when we got to that podcast set, Ken was looked at and he was like, you need to wear a hat. And I was like, okay. Obviously he saw the sideburns and the fucking terrible hairdo I had and he put me in a mustard movies hoodie,

which I would never have worn. That's not my color, man. Mustard is not my color and I didn't have a hat. So I was like, I need a hat, man. I need a hat and what happened? I remember you came to my office and I had this, it's pretty cool looking devil's hat in my office that I got.

And I think we went to a game and I got it at the devil's store. And I was like, this is a great hat. But you came in and was like, hey, can I borrow that hat? And I'm like, for the show, yeah, anything. I wish I knew what had happened to that hat, man. You know how much I could have fetched for that hat on eBay? I fetched a lot. You lost the hat?

Yeah, I lost it. I'm never getting that hat back. No. That's all right any any any behind-the-scenes stories from the well I mean we cannot gloss over what may be the most devastating fucking daisy cutter of a joke that is dropped in that in that closing segment when Mike goes to he's like talking about he's talking trash to us and he goes, you're in my playground now bitches.

And Bri, and I know people watching will be like, there's no way he didn't know that that line was coming. There's no way that he could be that quick and that fast to bust out. I didn't think Ming was allowed within a thousand feet of any playground. Fucking sex offender joke. Bruce Lee on his best day, as fast as his hands were, are not as fast as that man's wit to fucking bust that out. It is the knockout blow of fucking, of comebacks.

And the faces that you cut to, it looks like they had lemons in their faces. On that, unbelievable. There's no coming back from that. There's no thing you can say back to, you're a sex offender. You're not allowed around children. No. I mean, it's a heavyweight champ. Right. you're a sex offender, you're not allowed around children. No. I mean, he's the heavyweight champ.

Right, I mean, put the belt on, and just run around, because you won, and you're the be all, end all, and you're the all-time champ. Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, whatever the fuck it is. No, man, that's Tyson, Michael Sphinx right there. We're at 16 seconds, you're not coming back.

And I know there's people who are like, there's no way on earth he thought of that that quick. No, I was there. No, he did. Oh my God, yeah. How does that get through? Because 99 out of 100 times, they kill that joke, right? Yeah.

This is just one of those times where somebody's asleep at AMC is like, yeah, we'll let that go through, right? It has to be. I don't know if they're asleep. I heard often, I heard back, well, you're on after 11 or whatever it was. So we had different rules. Those rules don't apply to fucking calling one of the cast members a sex offender. It's also not just saying like, hey, you're a sex offender. It's like you've been convicted of it.

It's also not just saying like, hey, you're a sex offender. It's like you've been convicted of it. And that's why you're not allowed to play gross. I know what I mean. It's a joke. But it's one of those jokes that I would say 99 out of 100 times, they're like, yeah, that's going too, that's too harsh. Maybe now. But it was part of Ming's character.

You're a sex offender, Ming. I mean, to be called a pedophile, you know what I mean? A deviant, a sexual animal. But not in that way though. Like it was devastating though. It was too, I just couldn't believe it. Dude, I rewinded it four times. Yeah, no, they were watching.

There's a whole department dedicated to making sure we didn't cross some imaginary line. And apparently that wasn't the line. It was funny. It was funny. It was funny. It was funny. Holy shit.

I'm just like, I don't believe even back then you could put that up against the people who are making the final decisions on the cut. I think 99 out of 100 times it gets killed. And one time out of 100 it gets drew, and that was the one time. That is a fucked up joke to say yeah I mean it was the one who was doing the final cutting so I think telling you right now He's the one those guys had said that I like later on like it like you're doing it like like a couple days later I'm like dude do me a favor make sure that joke joke doesn't see the light of day

I don't want that joke getting out there. That's too fucked up. No, but you know what we do, I don't know if that's what came here, but we would often put in several fucked up jokes knowing that they would pull a couple out. I'm shocked that you're not more like astonished that that joke got through. That is a fucked up joke. No, but it's not the first time. We were allowed to infer or flat out call Ming a pedophile. It happened many times. No, I don't remember this. I don't remember that either. I don't remember this.

You don't have every right in history. I would have done it a lot more. Yeah. We would make sure we would say he was maybe a little bit, but never. You applied there was a basement with Mike right but he's an adult he's not a child it's consensual no no no there was another one here's another one where he went around yeah and he was masturbating on a park bench and he went back back to the future of mass mating on Park bench. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's precedent. Yeah. Yeah. You're right.

But I just could not believe it. You come up and you set the scenario like we got this last frame and we're going to make it for all the marbles. And you say that you say to Mike, you know, throw it. And Mike is not happy. No, he's not. I remember that. You remember that?

No, yeah. He didn't want to throw it. There's another guy that I was shocked wasn't happy as well. You actually, like, somehow you came out of a haze. I like the sound of that. And you're like, why do we have to lose? And I remember you were like, whatever happens should happen. Why do we have to lose? And I remember you were like, whatever happens should happen.

Why do we have to lose this one? And I was just like – I remember going to the show, I go, it doesn't matter. I said, it doesn't matter. I go, if he wins, I jump back over there and I'm even a bigger dickhead. And it works. Yeah, it worked. And it was up to the end. Yeah, so it was real.

It was real. We knocked on those pins we would have won. And I would have – when I came over to those – and you guys could have like shunned me, but I would have been like, yes, we did it. I made this happen because I turned. You guys became better bowlers. It's because of me, you guys won. I motivated you.

You were prepared. I had it all prepared. Either way. But that was a real end. We were like, dude, if you knock these, we win. If you don't, we lose. And he was mad, as he would be throughout all seven seasons. He would find some reason.

Irvy man, right. But he was mad at you coming over to him and be like, I want you to throw this match, you know, throw a gutter ball or something. And he was like, he was not having it. He wanted to see if he could win it. Yeah. He didn't. So I had to go with like, you know, like, clerks, clerks, clerks, clerks. Yeah. See you guys on Monday.

Oh, good. It's great. Fucking rubbing. Yeah. I'll see you guys on Monday! That was good! Fucking rubbing! Such a polarizing figure here. I mean, rubbing your faces, being the worst sport ever. You were the worst sport.

Win, lose, or draw, you were the worst sport ever. Yeah, absolutely. Like, a high school gym teacher would fucking hate you. Chastise you. Yeah, but I thought it was like, I thought it was good quality TV. It was, man. It was so much fun.

I don't even think the clerk's guys knew what we're going on. They had no idea what was happening. I don't even think they knew like the ramification of what was going on. I remember one of them coming up to me at some point and going, maybe it was Ernie going, how are you going to cut all this? What are you going to do with this? Because when you're shooting scenes like that, we're not shooting an actual bowling game, right? It's like throw it down and we're collecting shots and kind of, and then we could build the game after. But I remember, I think it

was Ernie being like, what are you going to do with all this? It just seemed like disparate footage. It was a chore, you know what I mean? But it worked. And boy, to see you dancing out there, see you guys on Monday. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I said I didn't want it to end. I wanted to see more footage of them bitching and complaining.

Oh, God. Oh, man. Man. Plus we got Gittem from Collingwood. That's right. Gittem's first appearance in Comic Book Man is in episode one. I did a double take I really did because again, I wasn't at the shoot. I'm like wait a minute. I know that face

You gave it to me and said it was your hat you wore in season one, and to keep it safe. And you kept it safe? Yep! Oh my god, I'm gonna cry. That's insane, you were just talking about that's the hat you were just talking about. Wait, so he's been wearing it this whole time? No, I've been wearing it all this time. I've had it hidden.

I'm not gonna tell you where, because then you'd go, I had to find my other hidden stuff. Wow, there it is, a real artifact. This could be on network TV. This is like, find my other hidden stuff. Wow. There it is. A real artifact. This could be on network TV. This is like, we're back, baby. Wow. This episode could be on, this could be a reunion. There it is. Look at it.

There it sits. Holy cow. Quick little spot here for one of our favorite sponsors. Maybe, you know what? I don't want to play favorites, but I'm going to say they're one of our favorites and that would be Meundies. Guys, let's talk about the real MVP of your wardrobe. It's the one thing that should never let you down, your underwear.

If you're anything like me, cough, cough, it's time for an upgrade. I disagree with that. All I wear is Meundies. That's all I have in my drawer, so I'm not upgrading. You could upgrade your ultra-model ball caddy boxer brief from Yundies. Ball caddy is really the perfect way to describe how they feel. These game-changing briefs are designed for the next level support. No squishing, no sticking, just pure cloud-like comfort.

Yundies has a cut for every guy's butt with over 10 different styles ranging from boxer briefs to jock straps to the special pouch underwear called ball caddy that keeps you from ever bat-winging again. MeUndies offers signature softer than soft ultra-micromodal fabric which is breathable, stretchy and oh-so comfy making it ideal for all-day wear. It's responsibly sourced. Problem-free philosophy, not happy with your first pair of undies? It's on MeUndies. So slide into the game changing comfort with MeUndies. So this next set of clips is dedicated to when TSD hits the road, focusing on when we

have gotten outside of the confines of the studio and much like, I guess, making hay, which people really dug when we got out of the studio. We don't get a chance to do it nearly enough with Q. So we've tried to take advantage and much like, I guess, making hay, which people really dug when we got out of the studio, we don't get a chance to do it nearly enough with Q. So we've tried to take advantage of going outside the studio with other members of TesDee Town, including Frank on a show called Bro Side Attractions. Haven't done a Bro Side in a while, but there is a very interesting one coming up out here. Haircutting place, Frank.

Haunted tattoo shop. Oh, yes. I thought it was. Haircutting place, right? Haunted tattoo shop. Oh, yes. I thought it was a haunted hair cutting place. Yes, bro side attractions featuring Frank Five where we hit the road and interview people at locations. There were... We did one at the Clinton Diner where we had to eat the world's biggest hamburger. Yeah, or at least attempt to. Did you have confidence in our team or were you a little like on the worried side? Well, you know what? I had confidence in our team until I saw what a 50 pound burger looked like.

Holy shit. Oh my God. Oh my God. Wow. Look at that monster. And then I was like, I don't know how to fucking measure or weight anything. Like, Jimmy the Hair Guy could sleep on that burger. Yeah. It was massive.

He'd get in it and sleep with the bun over him. He looked like Stort Little next to that fucking burger. He looked like Stort Little next to that fucking burger. Eat the meat, eat the meat, eat the meat, eat the meat. You can be Jimmy the Meat Guy. Jimmy the Meat Guy. Act. Act. Act.

Act. Act. Act about. You tapped out? Yes. Oh my God, Bonnie. All right, Bonnie. Nice job. I tapp out. You tapp out? Oh my god, Bunny!

Alright, Bunny. Nice job. Wow. I oversold you. The over under was definitely on you tappin' out first. So, congratulations. You beat a teenage girl. You don't have any more in you? No, not more. Wow. Your first inclination as soon as the first

person drops out is like, I don't know, I have to try. Well at least I wasn't all full of bluster like Sage where she's like, never give up, I'll never give up. And then she's like, I give up. And then I was like, Oh, thank God I'm out. I went no Frank went next. I was next. I saw Sage tap. I was like, I'm out. I don't want to, I didn't want to tell you this. I didn't want to say this, you know, to anybody else. But I got up and I walked out of that table because I teared up a little bit. I went into the bathroom and I cried a little. I teared up a little bit. I went into the bathroom and I I cried a little Camera we paid for those tears It was my idea my doing I really thought we were gonna win and I let everybody down I know

Who told you to turn your body nobody? Why are you turning I thought you somebody told me to turn nobody told you to turn we went to the Renaissance Fair with Frank Hello, we're here with Shmendrick the Magician and Matt the Ventriloquist. Yes, that's him. Can Frank put his hand in Shmendrik? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uh point to the and do your best ventriloquist. Don't move your lips, try.

Well, how do you get his mouth open? The rod is over there for his mouth. I'll hold his head. Frank, you act like you've never held a puppet before. I can't even find the rod. Hello? That's a very sad thing. I should never find the rod.

Do that again. Do that again. Hello? Fuck off. Hey, you're not going to get it. That's a very sad... I should never find the right... Do that again. Hello! Hi! Say a sentence. We're here at the Renaissance Festival.

And we're gonna see the king. And we're seeing the king in just a few moments. I can't find the hardwad! You know how you do that? Oh wait, here it is. I found him. And they always go, oh you look beautiful in that dress. And then they walk away and go, oh my god, look how fat she is. That's how you do it.

Smile. I can't believe I got my hand in a pocket. I didn't see either of your lips move that time. No, none of our hips move. I kind of get the feel of you're in Frank five mode right now because you're talking and go get that Frank five voice. In this clip, we went to Storybook land, which is like a much, much watered down version of I guess, I don't want to say Disney world.

I think that's not even that. It's very inaccurate. Yeah. But it's a 1950s. What would you call it? Attraction? Attractions with rides and it's all based on storybook characters and we went there and this is one of my favorite ones.

You used to go here with your daughters, right? Yes, I used to go here constantly. I can't wait to go back with Oliver. The grandson, you're right. The grandson soon. You get to go and do everything over again. Get to revisit it one last time. Nice.

Unless I get to make it to a great grandfather. It's not impossible. I was talking to Q about that the other day. I was like, well, could very easily become a great grandfather in our lifetime. Thought that would be insane. This is Christmas magic right here. All right. It's, you know, it's why.

Right. That's why it's called magic. Okay. It's what? 80 something degrees, 90 something degrees today? Frank, why such a denier? I know. You're a monster.

I'm sorry. I know. You're a monster. It's magic. It's magic. It's magic. It's really magic. Jessica, does anybody ever, a la Christmas story,

put their tongue? Yeah. Does it gross you out? It does, a little bit. If one of us did that, would that gross you out right now? Probably not, but I mean, like, I would never in a million years, but. Go ahead, Frank, put your tongue on the pole.

You guys can try it. It depends on how sensually he does it. Like this? Like this? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. There you go. Oh, man.

There you go. I didn't get stuck, so there you go. Should be salty? Like that? Should be salty. Awesome. But in fact, you went up there, man, and you were licking the North Pole.

Like a champ. like it was ice cream Yeah, hey if there's a pole And it's like hey episode three come on. I'll lick the pole I'm not pulling I've got a tongue are you how are you knowing to do this? It's not saying anything because I have the volume off Just driving to the next one You can drive to the next one. You can drive to the next one. Just don't let the six cylinders get to your head.

This next clip is when Frank brought his DeLorean to a car show, a New Jersey car show. You remember well. He was not treated with any sort of hospitality by the New Jersey contestants who I think were none too happy to see this New Yorker roll in with his fancy shmancy DeLorean. His movie car. His movie car with his movie money. They seemed very cliquey, those people. There wasn't much room for outsiders. Anyway, this clip also explains how things went even more south as Frank won the 50-50.

You gave some toys to some kids. You donated to the autistic kids. You gave some money. That was cool and that was really sincere. That would have set you up to come back again next week and the week after that and the week after that and become a beloved member of that car community until you go and win. We won the 50-50. And I wasn't out there but I hear that like when his number was called and he's

like hey it's me it was dead silence. Nobody clapped. Me, Alex, and my wife, my wife who came and all our wives came for this event because they were, I don't know why, this is the first time they've ever done anything. They're like, we want to see the DeLorean at a car show. How boring is that? You can go out to the garage and see the DeLorean. But we all clapped and it was like, They were the only ones. The only people clapping in like in a football field. out to the garage and see what they were doing. But we all clapped and it was like... They were the only ones.

The only people clapping in like in a football field. Right. Crickets. You could hear crickets. And how much did you walk away with? I think it was $135. $130 I thought it was. $130?

And I heard that it's commonplace for the winner to donate the money back to the autistic kids or at least some of it. So how much did you money back to the autistic kids, or at least some of it. So how much did you give back to the autistic kids? I took all of it. Because they were mean to me. Not even a percentage. You could have gave back a 50. I just look like a fucking champ.

They call the 50-50 number, and then I'm coming up there and people are starting to clap and then the guy in the microphone goes up. Here he comes to winter up the guy at the DeLorean shirt. And then all of a sudden you're like, and it was just like, it was like, and the money was just on the table. They were like, here you go. It wasn't even like handed to me. It was like, there was uncomfortable. We don't have. They were like, here you go. It wasn't even handed to me. It was like, there it is. It was uncomfortable.

We don't have it on camera because it got really dark and we put all the gear away. We never thought there was a chance in hell that we would make it to the calling of the 50-50, or that any of us would win it, or that any of us would keep it. Now, Bri Tries is a show we do on Patreon where Brian tries new hobbies in a search for something that he finds fun to do. Some sort of meaning. Some sort of meaning or just some way to pass the time. Right. That isn't TV. So here – I don't know. I can't believe the curator has put on here,

Bry Try's theme song. If it's gotten this bad that one of our best of clips is the theme song, it's not actually content. It's just a theme song. I have to be honest. I don't think I've ever heard the theme song. I didn't know I had a theme song. I think the theme song was I want to try everything by some sort of female singer. Now, Rob picked this because he was hot and heavy because I want to use this song. I was like, I don't care. I don't even care what it is. Yes, use it. Whatever. It's behind a paywall. I don't even know if we can play this clip. We'll find out. If there's a big old gap and there's just dead air, that means

that we had to remove this clip or Declan had to remove this clip. I don't know why the fuck the Bride Tries theme song would make the cut on a best of compilation. Yeah. If it were like the Sage and Data show where it was specific to the show as opposed to just somebody else doing a song. Yeah, it's really weird. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Try everything Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Try everything We've gone metal detecting on Bride Tries. Will I find something?

Will I find some buried doubloons? Here with Matt from... what's your company Matt? Matt with Jersey Shore Ring Finder. Looks like Walt's ready to scoop dog shit off the beach. Is that what these things are for? I'm ready to do that. To help you find the perfect hobby. That's what it's for.

That's a friend. That is a friend. What's the weirdest thing you've ever found on the beach? So the weirdest thing, and it was actually just laying on the beach but I was out metal detecting with a friend and we were walking along like the high tide line and there was a probably about 50 feet behind us a mother and her young daughter walking by and was looking for shells. So as I'm walking I actually came across a huge double-ended delta. That has metal in it?

It did it. No, I didn't find it with the machine. It was just laying there. It was just laying there. I actually have found a couple of small, like, pocket rockets, though. Wow. I never would have thought that would be on the beach. Where do you think that came from?

People out there are having a good time, I guess and a really good time I don't know. Now did you observe the metal detectors law and pick it up and throw it away? I did with the scoop I wasn't touching it with my fingers. Because I didn't want that mother to have to walk across that with her young daughter while they're looking for shells. Right. Yeah. Single headed would have been fine. Double headed, that's a little too much. Yeah, that's a little too much. Like you could have been like, you know, that's just a deadheimer head little baby shark. Yeah.

Get away from that eel. The two headed eel. Yeah. That thing was, I don't know, man. I'm a little concerned about whoever was using that. Yeah, on the beach. That's really weird. Just in general, because that thing was using that. Yeah, on the beach. That's really weird. Just in general because that thing was a monster.

That's why I always am like, who's partaking in that activity on a beach when it gets all sand on it and everything? Who the fuck is – Ask the ass. Who's doing double-donging on a beach on a sandy, nasty beach though? I personally have not – nor do I know anyone who has ever double-donged it on a beach. Not even close.

Matthew Feeney You can get those granules in there on it and everything and especially if you look at it. I assume it's – I don't think it's two girls doing it down there. I don't know why but in my head, I just picture two weirdos down there and you know they got to put some lube on it. Once you put lube on it, the sand is going to stick to it like a magnet and you're never going to get that sand off. Trevor Burrus That's the leaving of two deviant guys.

There are two women who are like, hey, you know what would be fun? You know what we should do? Aaron Ross Yeah. No way. Trevor Burrus These are two strangers who fucking met on the internet. Yeah. They were on Grindr and they're like, do you like dildos and sand? Yes, I do.

As a matter of fact, that's how you should ask. They get the stories though for the podcast though. You find something as crazy as a double-donged dildo. That would be great. Or you could just start playing stuff on the beach, come back, you know. Trevor Burrus Those gay guys were back. I found another dildo. That's all I ever found.

Peter Van Doren You start buying metal detectors and start buying silicone, fucking detecting equipment. You start putting them over your fireplace like a trophy head hunting. Instead of an elephant head, it's like a double-donged black dildo found on the beach in 2025. You have a white one next to it and you got a green one. It would be the goat of finding fucking discarded sexual toys on a beach. Yeah, like when I'm on that metal detector like Reddit thread, people are like, he's either lying or he's crazy.

Or he's the fucking absolute best at what he does. Yeah, I lost a dildo. NJ dildo find her. We've talked to the crochet lady. Now this is – I'm just reading off curator's list. I don't know if he means the yarn lady or the crochet lady. Crochet lady and yarn lady I think were the same thing, weren't they? Yeah, they were.

Yeah. Now for those who aren't on the Patreon and have heard us talk about the Yarn Lady or our neighbor, I don't know if I'm happy about this. I'm giving out this for free. This fucking rare audio with the Yarn Lady. And it's rather recently too, I'd say, compared to some of the other stuff. But yeah, here you go, my people. You're going to get a chance to listen to the Yarn Lady, at least a clip, a snippet.

If you want to hear the whole thing, you're going to have to go sign up. Yeah, listen very carefully. You might be able to hear Scooter the Guinea Pig in the background. Keep it warm. Really excited to finally introduce to the listeners, Flo, The Yarn lady of Airport Plaza. Much spoken about. Is crocheting a hobby that you would say is an expensive hobby to get into or do you think it's more on the...

It's really inexpensive. These hooks are available in most dollar stores and that kind of thing. And then you can get it as expensive as you want. If you want fine yarns, cashmere and merino and that kind of stuff. What is the finest of the yarns? Cashmere is about the highest that I would go. What's a ball of cashmere go for? Yeah, anywhere from $50 to $75 depending on how much. I mean, I'm ignorant on it. What's cashmere made out of? It's cashmere from a goat. It's wool from a goat.

Is it a special kind of goat? Yeah. Must be. His yarn is not expensive. Yeah. There are goats that are bred for their fur. Fuck! I just – when I was getting in Goethe, I say something so stupid that she goes – basically, it's just like – she just basically was like, what an idiot. She was like, a goat?

I didn't know. A special goat? Dude, yeah. I have cashmere sweaters. I didn't know. Am I crazy? Or is that like – kind of like – yeah, know, it's a special kind of goat, but does the common man know that it's a special kind of goat?

I don't think so. I mean, there were two common men right there that didn't know. You could have told me it came from some sort of like a unicorn. I'd be like, oh, really? Wow, that's pretty cool. Really, because you think of a goat in a junkyard, you know, they live in junkyards. Yeah, no. No, not these goats.

Not those goats. They're pampered goats. There's alpaca. There's marina, which is a sheep wool. There are a lot of different kinds of sheep wool that you can get. Now dealing in yarn and how much yarn you need. Have you ever thought of just getting your own goat and just growing goats? There's a lot of work that goes into it.

I just can't shut up. There's a lot of work that goes into it to get from the goat down to my hawk. I just can't shut up. Now, I'm trying to recover so badly. Now, I'm saying something even more stupid like, why don't you just go get your own goats? Are you stupid? Because I'm trying so hard to like get back into the races. Trying to win her back.

Trying to say something pithy, something that's going to impress her and I just keep fucking it up big time. You know, you have to clean it. You have to spin it, you have to spin it, you have to cord it. I'm thinking about when the kids come in, they can pet the goat. It's like two or three.

Yeah, more yarn and petting. That's true, that's true. I had a lot of that, yeah. Yeah, we could try that sometime. How long, I mean, I know, I've lived in the area for my whole life. I've driven past the plaza. I've seen your sign here for a long time.

How long have you been at the airport plaza? 10 and a half years. 10 and a half years. Right. That's great. I'm just trying to impress her and say anything like – like lavish her with praise and – You really are trying to get her good graces. Is this too much?

Is this too much? If you can see my legs underneath the table, they're just going a million miles an hour like a duck. Like a duck. Trying so hard to recover from the fucking – the faux pas of saying like, is it a special kind of goat? Like where does cashmere come from? It was just –

Your answer was like, why don't you get your own special kind of goat then? It's so fucking embarrassing. Do the needle – what are they called? The needle hooks. Hooks. Hooks. Do they, like you seem like you have like a very high end one. No, this is not high end.

Do they come like, is there a better hook than other hooks? There are some, but everything when you're talking about knitting or crochet is personal preference what you like and what works for you. I like this stuff because I like it. That's his problem. If he does anything, he immediately goes out and he has to have the best and the most expensive version of it. He turns on his toy.

Definitely. He's an asshole. I'm not cool. That's exactly what I did. I'm not proud of it, but I was like, fuck it. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom.

I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to – he's an asshole. I'm not cool. That's exactly what I did. I'm not proud of it but I was like, fuck it. I'm going to try to fucking make you look bad and make me rise myself up in your eyes. Trevor Burrus Where's the bus? Come on, Brian. Right under it. Jennifer Lange I'm not going to make a million dollars

over it but there's a fair amount if you have a really good pattern and it becomes popular. Trevor Burrus Look, if you get on Etsy and you can sell it, right? Jennifer Snell Right. That pattern actually is one I got from Etsy. Paul Cudone But then someone will have to pay you for the pattern? Jennifer Snell Right. Paul Cudone It's not like where the internet just steals it, right?

Because that's what look important to flow. We're victims, you understand. We don't want it to happen to you too. That's what people do to us. I don't know why I said that. I have no idea why I said that. I'm just trying to make it seem like we're big time. I'm not sure it worked. I apologize. I don't know why I said that. Start complaining to her. What do you know about copyright laws, by the way? Can you help us? Now this next clip, I can't believe it took us decades to finally get here. But on this episode of Bri Tries, we have gone

out to get him Steve Davis bottle dump. I'm ashamed that it escaped me that it took us, like why haven't we go sooner? We were asking the same questions when we were there. It's like, yeah, what took us so long? A golden opportunity, and for some reason it took years to finally get us out there, but I think this has got to be the clip that's going to make people go. If you're not on the Patreon, you're definitely signing up after this clip.

Yeah, so we traveled all the way out to Burlington and met James Tickle. Yeah. And today we're here with James, who is a renowned bottle collector. And we're talking about bottles. Yes, sir. This is a hobby of yours. Yes, yes. I've been doing this for about eight years now. Do you find that you like to do it solo or do you have a partner that's doing it? Oh, no. I always try to have a digging buddy. Like I've seen my friend, I bought my friend here.

He's been with me countless times where he has always got my back, you know. Just for instance, I was down in a well and it caved in. So he pulled me out, actually. Really? Yeah, so I always have a digging buddy. If you're in a dump, you know, a wall could collapse. It's not shored up, right? It could collapse. So this is a dangerous hobby.

It could be, technically. There's very safe ways you could do it. Especially that's the way I went. Looking for bottles in a well. Could you imagine that? You need a buddy to go look for bottles? Yeah. I feel like my bench is not that deep as far as digging buddies go. You call up Q, you're like, you want to go out, be my bottle buddy?

I'm like, what are you doing today? He's like, I'm just sitting around being rich. I'm like, hey, I got a better idea. Let's go to some privy pits. You're my bottle buddy. Yeah. In case a fucking wall cave's in on me, I need you. He's like, he never goes out solo.

No. Again, I think yes, they don't, he doesn't go out solo, but I think he's digging in places where he could get arrested. Yeah. Maybe in someone's garage. By digging, I mean breaking and entering. I usually have a buddy watch my back and by my back, I mean the coast. Make sure it's clear.

Poor James Tickle. We're going to go somewhere that has been talked about for seemingly over a decade. Get him Steve Dave's bottle dump. It's almost as if like it's like mystic. You're not even sure if it really exists. He's it's only been talked about by him and not seen by human eyes. I tell you, I've built it up in my head. It's like bottles, like just sticking out of the ground from the, from the all across the,

of a field. Like you can't see him for miles. Just little bottles just like hanging out about like this. Somebody planted seeds. You could just pluck them right out like carrots. Does this give you like a standby me vibe? A little bit. Yeah, right? Yeah, a little bit.

Walking along the train tracks, hanging out. I mean, thank God it wasn't up high, like, you know, over like some water or something. Oh, right, right. Oh, so we had to like run when the train came. Here we go. I've got to say, I was expecting more of a... Wait, this is it? Yeah. What? So I'm going to start to dig randomly? This is what we've been...

Oh, wait a minute. What's that? Yeah, see? That just popped up out of nowhere? Yeah. Get a shot of that. Get a close up of that. Two seconds ago, you're shitting on it. You're like, well, wait a second. Did you plan that? Did you come out here last night and put that out there?

No, you can say. Holy shit. Can I hold it? Yeah. So what do you think this is? How old do you think this bottle is? Here's another one. This is an old... Cola bottle. Well it's broken. It's worthless. Not everything is pristine out here.

Look man, it's like... How old do you place that at? Hundreds of years? I don't know. I'm just trying to... So we're standing at the bottle dump right now. Yes, this is... This is sacred ground in TSD town right here. And my heart is pounding.

I know you can't see it, but it's like a jackhammer. Mine was until we arrived, and then I was like, wait, this is it it I expected to see like glinting like it's covered by like you know like James said you got to dig down and you know find the truck all right so we got to dig down let's start seeing some what do we want us to do get him I'm just trying to right now I'm just trying to figure out. Look at him. He's like a shaman now. Yeah.

He's like feeling the earth. He's trying to feel for the glass. The boy of the earth talks too. I don't want to gloss over how much other shit was around here. Because it's always like, oh, that's an old blah, blah, blah. But it's like, it was like stoves and car doors and stuff that you're like, this is not, this is not an easily accessible area. So you're like, how did they get this shit here and why? We never got answers. Why is all this crap back here? I think it was maybe because he said there was a train. It's a train that go by and they would like dump off garbage and stuff.

Yeah. But you like, I would understand bottles and like stuff that like they were using on the train, but they weren't using stoves and car doors and stuff like that. Who's like, you know what, we're going to take a train ride down the shore. Let's bring that old stove that doesn't work anywhere. So we get somewhere to dump it. Looks like Sophia Loren with those arm clubs, those long arm clubs. Man can get lowly out in the woods. You just whistle. You got to whistle, don't you?

Oh, shit. What is it? Oh, a midget bottle. Nice cap too. Look at that. Looks like a little perfume bottle. Can Brian have that? Yeah. All right. Bring it home, clean it up. Yep. Give it to Mary Beth.

Bring it to the podcast table. All right. You know, they say it up. Yep. Give it to Mary Beth. Bring it to the podcast table. All right. You know, they say birds will give other birds like a sharp, shiny pebble to show their affection. I'm just, we're just picking them out of the ground like fucking daisies. It's exciting, isn't it? I mean, no.

Come on, look at that. That's a real bottle. This next segment is dedicated to in-studio production, specials, and games. And up first is a one-off, a one-shot. I'd hoped it would become a regular series. The radio theater? The Will Rogers radio theater. But that meant that somebody was going to have to write a radio play. And I remember giving the task to Jimmy, I want you to write the next one.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. I don't know if he ever did it. If he hasn't mentioned it. Yeah. He may have. I don't want to throw him under the bus and I want to check him under the bus completely. I could hear or I see in my memories of a text exchange where he said he had given a

story to Will Rogers. Will Rogers probably threw it up. Yeah, but this particular radio theater episode is the only one in existence and it took a story that I had written or a radio play that I had written with Sunday Jeff acting the role of a TV 70s detective. And we assembled a table of actors and we decided we would try to bring it to life via audio only, this script. This is the TESD Sunday Night Mystery. TESD Sunday Night Mystery.

He had nothing on my little brother Skip. Dad and I found him on a hike in the woods and raised him like he was our own. He may have been simple, but he looked up to me and I took care of him as best as I could. Found him in the woods. I guess we'll adopt him. Sleeping on a bunch of bottles. We'll keep them. Some lady comes back to her campsite and her baby's missing. I don't remember. I forgot, it's been so long since I read this that I forgot that. I haven't read this. Is it you who did this or was this us? I can't remember. I was about to ask you, I don't remember anymore. They just found them. I have to admit I haven't looked at this since you and I agreed it's done.

That was then and this is now and I crave drugs. When I went to rehab I can't tell you how many stories were exactly like this where people are just yelling I crave drugs and other people. I crave drugs. I crave drugs. Those exact words? No one ever said that. like this where people are just yelling I crave drugs and other people. I crave drugs? I crave drugs! Those exact words? No, just kidding. No one ever said that. I crave drugs too!

Me too! I can't believe we all have this in common. I know you do, Sonny, but now it's my turn to take care of you. I'm going to get you clean and ready.. I'm gonna get you clean and ready. Skip is gonna get you clean and ready. I don't think you can read that line without like fading to black and everybody's like I know what happened.

I'm thinking the same thing over here. I won't clean as good as I did the cheese toilet bowl. It's gonna look like a gumdrop. Fade up later. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh. It was actually perfect. It brought a tear to my eye. It was really good. Couldn't agree more. Couldn't agree more.

Go ahead. I know you do, Sonny, but now it's my turn to take care of you. I'm gonna get you clean and ready. Skip's gonna get you clean and ready. At least he got it. He got the line. Everything's weird about it. Everything. We're stepping into a different fucking reality. Candyman what? I don't think we're worried about anything else.

It's a new villain. Oh shit. Really good, can you do it again? He just wants to hear it in those players. But say Walt this time. I know you do, Sonny, but now it's my turn to take care of you. I'm gonna get you clean and ready. At least he had it clean the first time.

I'm gonna get you clean and ready. We're in the bathroom now. The working title of this piece is Clean and Ready for sure. Sonny is in the bath while Skip gives him a scrub. Under the balls. Under the balls, Skip. Remember you're like, can we shoot in your bathroom? There's something I want to shoot.

Oh my God. What is that? I had a shit. Yes! Oh my God! This kind of shit. See, it was walled. Oh my God. I remember you asking me this like years ago. Yeah. I thought they could wear their shorts and we would shoot from the outside. I mean, I definitely have a big enough bathroom now for that.

Let's do it. All right. These next set of clips from a show called TESDND, which I have to say, it didn't start off with its own show initially. It was something we did on the All New Sunday Jeff Show where we had a TSDND one-off with just a one-shot episode and people adored it. People demanded it. They, I will sign up to hire tears if you make this a regular show.

And so we did. That's one of those ones like that mystifies me because it looks like as we're playing it, I'm like, this is so boring. How do people play this game? Oh, do you mean our content you mean or the regular T and D and D content? The regular game. I don't think we're playing it properly though. From all the complaints that I read.

From real players? Yeah. I think it's the fact that we're just not playing it properly. But yeah, for whatever reason, people demanded T, S, D and D and we gave it to them and then once they got it, they were like, please end it. But here are some of the best moments of TES D&D and I'm sure that weeping sound is Tom our dungeon master realizing that that show is probably not coming back. You think? I can hear it a little bit.

I hear weeping. Wanderin Baron, I need you to come with me. Your future is in danger. Well partner, I'm going to need a little bit more information if you want the Wanderin Baron to accompany you. Would you like a glass of lemon? Maybe Maybe perhaps I'll make julep. They're switching the mix characters. The Colonel. I'll say boy.

I preach what's likely to go. 21 herbs and spices. Secret recipe. Stop making a lot of sex in me. I'll say, I'll say. Which way we going? I'll say it. I'll say it. Extra. Which way are we going? What? I say what? North, South?

I don't have the time to explain. Time is of the essence. We have many stops we have to make. I just need you to trust me. My name is Sargell One. And I come from the future. That is all you needed to say, son. I once knew a Sargell called Sargelly- no. Why can't I do that? Because that would be in the present! You were from the 1800s! Sargell 18 would be in the now time! Doesn't exist yet. Doesn't exist yet. Yeah, it wouldn't exist yet. You're in the Wild West. Alright, alright. Alright, boy.

Give me one good reason I should trust you. BAM! Alright, Barman. Alright boy, give me one good reason why I should trust you. Alright Barman. Now give me one good reason why I should trust you. There's injustice that needs to be justified. Alright, I'll come. Frank the Fool tied to a sex swing and probably confirm that's pretty Tied to a door ball gagging his mouth. I want to break that wishbone

No! No. Read it. Read what you want to do. The monster deck. What is the monster deck? I can summon a seven foot tall white gelatinous monster made out of the sea and he is collected from his prior lovers. Roll your d20.

Monster versus monster. When you question that look, yeah, look at the camera. Four. Roll your d20 for damage. Nineteen! Nice! How does the monster dick want to kill Ubaku? Nothing on your paper, you just described it.

Oh, shit man, I put that shit right in his mouth and I'm blown. Like right through the back of his head, right? He is asleep! It's gonna look like a tsunami of cum. I checked for breath. For like 15 minutes, I said, oh, okay, now I know what I'm gonna do. That's all I gotta do now. Brian, open it up.

You're gonna take both your hands, because it's a full, almost as large of a man, and open it up. And inside, filled to the brims with gold coins overflowing go to stick your hand in you said he opened it he didn't want to put his hand in oh no that's he put his hand in you're making him put his hand in yeah he just put his hand in there right I didn't tell him to put his hand in he said he didn't want to fucking open it you told him to open it this is your fucking fault where'd your accent go? I mean you fucked up pal he just wants to agree us to agree to everything that's gonna make his dungeon mastering

smoother What we want to just go with gold coins Close it down and leave it. Fuck you! Hold your fucking hand out, bro! Why's the story going anywhere? Nope! We looked around and decided not to do anything! We put our white thumbs! I'm gonna shit! Terrified of what's beneath that gold.

Could have had a hand coming down the ground! Was it a setup though? No, no! No, it is because he didn't say no. Go down to the elbow. He's trying to set me up. All right, what do you guys wanna do? What do you wanna do, Brian?

I guess, it seems like I have to put my hand in. No, no, no, no. You guys are free, this is your world. I can animate a dead body. I can make that goblin go put his hand in there. Oh! There you go. You motherfucking-

Fuck you! Yes! You fucking dungeon master! like that? Fuck you! Yeah! Suck it, dungeon master! Suck it, DM! You didn't expect that, did you? Oh, I'm gonna... What do I do now?

You got a motherfuckin' ring on your tongue! Let me take a five minute break and do some rewrites. Hold on, I'll be fair with ya. I'm soiled! Woo! Woo! Roll a D something, baby! Roll a D20, let's see if you animate him.

Can we just enlist him to become a permanent member of the party no But what I've been telling you guys is thinking outside the box He comes he thinks outside of the box instead of putting his hand in he takes his goblin and does that That's exactly what I want you guys to do. Oh, did you? does that that's exactly what you guys to do. Oh did you? I don't need to think about it you guys have to think about it that's the point I come up with hundreds of scenarios you guys. Hundreds?

How full of himself he is. Looking for a raise. Is he enjoying the sex swing? What if he does a lot of rescue? God, I hope my brother is enjoying it. He's fucking based in his head. You don't want to know with what. It's almost done.

How would you like to attack Crumpy? He's little, you have a pair of knives, what do you want to do? I would like to go for a center mask. Give him the Mexican bow tie. Or the Colombian necktie, whichever comes easiest to you. Dude, a trusty trombone to him instead. Face him up with a Cleveland Steamer. I'm gonna try to make like X-Men style cross his chest The other cage you're obsessed with kids bro, there's a lot of stuff going on and then they're in cages And you assholes won't save anyone unless I'm making a fucking child.

Otherwise you'd be like, fucking let's kill him. We'll just fucking kill him. I thought maybe if it's a kid, it has a chance of living and telling a story. That's why we have kids. If you promise not to kill everyone... We don't want to be on Dateline. ...it makes no difference. There is no Dateline in this universe. Hey guys, thanks for saving me. Nothing sexual happened to me.

I swear. We don't believe you. You're so full of shit. His head looks already on me. His head looks like a glazed door. You can see by the look in his eyes something happened. Psycho-sexy had his way with him. No, what happened to you? Nothing sexual happened to you.

Why is that important? It's not. But you said it three times. Is that for us to come back for? We didn't rape him, tie him to a ball gag, and leave him on a sex swing. But you said it three times. Is that for us to let Frank agree to come back for it? Yeah. We didn't rape him, tie him to a ball gag, and just leave him on a sex swing. All right, so let's, I guess, unchain him? Oh. Oh.

All right, who wants to attack? Nice try. Roll the cannonball. Roll the cannonball. Boom. All right. Ha ha ha. 37?

Dude! Do-do-do-do! In a world! In a world! 37? 37! In a lode! That has to be a kill shot! That's amazing! You tucked your penis between your legs! Wow! Amazing!

Roll your d20 and we'll see what the object is. 20! That's funny! Or not d20? That is funny. Those two tentacles are completely dead. Destroyed or gone. Wandering Baron. 14. What does your ace say? 14. Are you awake? I was just thinking, I was like,

this could be the last D&D. This could be the last episode. I just fear the response. Backlash. Come join me. You combined like this, this was on powerful he ever was, and you decided to go combine the rock and roll podcast every day with the two shows that I'm fucking paying. I thought you were going to be... You joined me in the licensed pod graveyard in TSD town. It's a pod graveyard. I thought you were gonna be so on the edge of your seat waiting for the next thing to go when you're like kiss my favorite thing in the world? All right, let's go. I'm gonna play this game to the max. Sorry, I was just thinking about what was gonna replace the show.

Isn't it the paint watching paint dry podcast? No, it's your top five light bulbs. Well, it's catty now. I don't see why people like better. My bulbs are this. I don't know how else I can engage you guys. I literally have brought back your kiss. All right.

Don't go on Reddit after this episode comes out. I promise you, it's not gonna be good. Now he's gonna know how Will felt. You were baskin' after Will Ruff. Don't even have overkill to fall back on. overkill fall back on and as you guys all circle around Crumpy to check Frank the fool accidentally steps onto his puke pie hilariously rolls down a hill and is lost into a ravine. Bye! There really was sex down there! They were my prisoners!

I made them fuck me! Why'd you have to kill them? You guys lose! They weren't sucking with me, I was stuck in here with them! Another slogan. Live, love, laugh! What did that guy say? Who cares? Dance like no one's watching!

Frank the Fool, as your parting words, as you're rolling down the hill. What would you like to say? Always remember to rewind! A super long repeat of what he's falling down into! Yeah, roll the d20. Let's see what you guys find. 18. Guys, guys, please. I know earlier you did it too. Please don't say what the dice says. That is his job and he winces every time I see it. I'm so upset. He gets so upset when people yell out what the dices because that's his thing. I don't know why.

It's not on camera and Victor puts the role that's on camera so that way he knows what the role is. Yeah, but what's the role that he says and you say it? It's a more uniform voice. It's OCDQ in its highest form. He's our narrator. I have so little in my life. I understand. I life. I understand.

I understand. I understand. I can't talk on TSD, but at least I can talk. No, you're right. I understand. Get him. I'm sorry. I can't see what the dice is.

18. Thank you. All right. Good job. Now, there was a show called Purveyors, Posers and Playlists that came out of the Patreon. And it was a show where Tim the Record Store clerk would judge our music tastes. And it was one of the more fun shows to do. And recently someone asked me, would Pervayers, Posers, and Playlists continue on now, you know, with Tim's health issues?

And I said, I don't think it's possible and I would not want to – I don't think – out of respect, I don't think that anybody should fill the role of the record store clerk. I believe that show has to retire before it – to bring it back, I think, would be disrespectful. Not to mention, we only know one record store clerk. Yeah, that also plays a factor. We can get the OG, Jack. We could, yeah.

Can you imagine? But no, I don't think it's proper. I think that Purveyors, Posers and Playlist was Tim's show and it will live on forever on the Patreon. And so if that has piqued your interest and you want to subscribe just to hear the Prevail's Poses and Playlist Library, that alone too is just worth the subscription. Just that show alone is worth the price of admission. I think wasn't the last one like Father Lance battling Troy in hair metal?

Yeah. Like that's fun. Yeah. That's fun to listen to. But this clip is when Gidham used his autism to try to gain points or sympathy from Tim. Right. And that's why Tim was so beloved in the role of the record store clerk is he was like, I don't give a fuck. Your picks suck.

You lost. Yeah. He was always very honest with stuff, like even if it was an unpopular opinion. You know, the songs are stronger on Brian and Eric's side. What about the argument? The argument is stronger on Getham and Walt's side, but for... How is that possible? If you're talking about pure argument...

No, no, I'm just... Look at that, Jensen! I'm talking about the tenacity of the argument. That doesn't mean it's stronger. I, he was... It means it's more intense. It doesn't mean it's stronger. Something charting all over the place is not. What do you mean charting? Is it insignificant?

It shows that it can be marketed. That's all it shows. And then when you play the autism card, it's a... If you give it to them for that... I want to acknowledge it as a win. If you're like, because they told me he's autistic, with no proof, just like the 22,000 productions, I'm going to let him win? Tim, you can't do it. All your credibility will be shot to listen to the audience. It stands up. It's on am DB. It stands up Don't I know you're I know you're gonna feel bad But because you feel like but we didn't really mean to play that card to make you really but you did play the court

I know but it's your intent was to make This was tough, but I think Brian wins Brian and Eric won. Yeah. I'll accept the win thank you. Well, it's, it's, it's... It feels like, like Brian won then. Okay, it feels like Brian's spirit. That's what this misspoken one, that really says everything.

It's the Johnson family. Brian won. Well, because I have Brian written first, I have Brian and Eric and I have Walton get them. The only reason he's taken this long to deliberate is because you told him he had autism. Yeah, he's talking all slow and shit. Otherwise, he would have just like, he would have said you won and you lost. I'm making all the autism. Otherwise, he would have said, you won and you lost. I can't believe it.

I'll tell you a little factoid. I hope it doesn't embarrass Eric too much, but as long as we're talking about autism, when he was young, like first grade, he was diagnosed with a learning disability because he was doing poorly in school. Pam and Edgar went up to the school, talked to the teacher, got him in a different program. Look at him now. So it's only because you were lazy and your parents didn't love you that you're not a doctor. That's why they gave me up. I'm adopted by the way. Oh, really?

Yes, he is too. Shit, I never should have brought that up. You can change it. His mom tried to smother him. His adoptive mother tried to kill him. His adoptive mother tried to smother him. That doesn't make sense. I never should have brought that up. You can change it. His mom tried to smother him. His adoptive mother tried to kill him. That doesn't mean his songs define the 90s though.

And you know that. You know that. But I'm a fucking monster if I don't make him out. Little bit, Tim. You can change it now and then. No, you cannot. He's just saying that so he can win. It would be unprecedented. Yeah, but it would go against the oath that I took as the judge I can't even imagine what Jack would think of him. I'm surprised you said we only have one card you played

I never said we only had one no you had it seems like you had a whole deck Now I feel like a complete piece of shit now more than usual 140 I just Eric you're moving on. How do you feel? I mean, I feel pretty good I've been an overweight Adopt adopted person. His house just went up in flames. Yeah. Did I mention that to you?

I didn't mention that to you because I wanted you to come correct and shit. Yeah, I mean. His house, he has no possessions. What he owns is right here on his body. He could own this tonight. No, he would have nowhere to put the trophy, so don't even worry about it. I feel terrible. Hey, you know what? That's what comes along with being the judge though. You have to make the right call. I did it on the facts. You're like you said, they're like a judge. Sometimes you feel bad for the people you convict, but you still got to convict them. You got to be

Simon Cowell up in this mouth. He's the most hated man, right? Yeah. So are you after this? Yeah, I know. I do not want to look at the comments after this one. Who the fuck is this? I know. I know. I hate rights at Fred.

Now I mentioned the all new Sunday Jeff show as being one of the two jewels in the TSD Patreon crown. It's the longest running Patreon show. It started right out of the gate. We did the all-new Sunday Jeff show. It's got to be over. Trevor Burrus I remember your pitch was, I want to give a talk show to a guy who least deserves a talk show. I was like, that sounds pretty good.

Aaron Ross He's kind of grown into the hosting role though, I believe. He's much more polished now. Oh yeah, for sure. Much more natural. But here are some All New Sunday Jeff Show clips. And if you're not on the Patreon, I do believe that the All New Sunday Jeff Show is worth the $5 tier alone.

If you're just getting that, it would be worth your subscription. Right. You're getting so much more than that. This along with Behind the Fake Counter are my two favorite shows that we do. I really like the all new Sunday Jeff Show. It's always fun. All right, Gideon, we're going to let you lead off to 70 since this is your first decade that you're able to partake in.

70s, I'm going to say Star Wars. Oh, Sunday's pissed. All right, you took Star Wars. On Sunday's show, you took Star Wars. That's right. Oh You took star one fucking piece of shit He's gonna have to go Battlestar Galactica or Logan's run We've got two decades and he hasn't gone first even though he's the star of the show. There's other films, there's other films. Why can't we pick the same film? I could, but...

It doesn't spark any conversation to keep saying the same fucking movie four times over. But I love Star Wars. We all say Star Wars. We all say Star Wars. Star Wars is definitely the 70s of the decade. What's wrong with you though? You know he's gonna say Star Wars. I'm 70s of the decade. What's wrong with you, though? You know he's going to say Star Wars. I'm going to say something different now.

You literally could say it. I'm going to throw it all off. I didn't like Star Wars. This whole time has been bullshit. Just thanks for entertaining, Ray. But you know you're lying now. All right, so I'll say maybe my second movie of the 70s? No.

What was your first? Nobody will hear this one. What? It would be Jaws. Did I just say that? You son of a bitch. Oh, so now I said his! You know, he is a star in the show.

That's his favorite movie? Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for another visit from the Duke of Devilish doings, the Baron of Black Arts, the Count of Conjurers, and the Maquis of Mumbo Jumbo, as well as Mike Zapcik's personal stylist, Sundak the Flamboyant.

I don't know why that's funny, but it just is. Right? I was looking at everything at the same thing and then I was like, no, I like it. I don't know why I like it. Welcome, old marble-mouthed mage. Thank you. Thank you, Giddem. May the old goat who made out with the regular goat after the Super Bowl be caught spraying his batch of craft miracle whip on the face of a human trafficking victim. Oh, Sundak. Timely, Sundak.

You say whatever one is thinking. I hold in my hand envelopes. These envelopes have been stored undisturbed since 1994 in the Flanagan family spice rack. Are you ready for the first envelope? Yes. I need absolute science. I need absolute science. I said science.

I mean silence. How about both? Silence, I said. Yes, this is science and silence. Is that written? Did you write that? Silence? A science instead of silence?

No, it's a silence. No, it, no. I need absolute silence was perverted into I need absolutely science. I'm going to need science for this. I need absolute science. perverted into I need absolutely science. I'm going to need science for this. I need absolute silence. Sundak the incomprehensible. He's been blinded by science, so he needs silence. It's very difficult to see with these gold beads in front of my face.

I need absolute silence. Are you saying the balls are obstructing your vision? Yes, they are obstructing my vision. The balls are obstructing his vision. Brass balls are obstructing my vision. The balls are obstructing his vision. Brass balls are obstructing my vision. Sundak, the first envelope. Thank you. Izzy Strandlund.

Izzy Strandlund. Izzy Strandlund. Izzy Strandlund. The question Debbie Chen already knows the answer to when Ming is hanging out with Mike. Wow. Mike and Ming are certainly taking on the chin tonight, aren't they, Sundak? I understand that Ming's cousin, Chin, took on Mike last night and now Ming's jealous.

Wow. Lemony Stick and himself couldn't conceive of a more unfortunate series of events. Sundak, the second envelope, I will hand to you with my hand. Thank you. Well, let me tell you what it is first. Home address. Home address. Home address. Home address.

Where Ming hasn't been in the past month and what he wore for Mike on their anniversary. Peace. Whoa. for Mike on their anniversary. Oh, yeah. My God. May an overly hydrated R. Kelly happen upon your young daughter. Oh, now that's timely. And now it's with a very heavy heart that I must announce this final envelope you will be divining tonight or any other night. Really? What? This is the final Sunday?

Your retiring Sunday? I guess so. I mean, coming on the heels of the jokes, I mean, you may have been forced into retirement, so maybe it's better than just going to get into it. Yeah, it's true. After the after the curtain falls one last time, I'm hanging up my turban. Why? Thank you for your service, Sundock. I heard that you're retiring to pursue a life of sailing around the world, painting sunsets.

Sounds like a dream. I have inoperable brain cancer and only three months to live at most. Wow. What? Hush puppy. Ooh. Hush puppy? Hush puppy.

Here, Jeff, let me hand you the envelope so that you can hold it to your head and divine the answer. Yeah, he's going out at the top of his game. It's from across the room. Hush puppy. Hush puppy. Hush puppy. Hush puppy.

Poor Sundax final envelope. What a moment this is. Treasure this. This is this last delivery. Luckily we have it on video. Treasure your line as you're, as you're, uh, as you're supposed to be, you're reading as you're opening that. Forget it. All right.

Okay. Hush puppy. Hush puppy. The command Ming gives his dog when sneaking Mike out of the house at 3 a.m. Ladies and gentlemen, Sundak the flamboyant. There's so much I wish I got done. Top 10 list. Is it a top 10 list? It's a top 10 list, but it's the top 10 best come on lines that feature food. So picture Sunday Jeff in the club. He's up in the club.

He sees a hottie. A shaw club. He's up in the club. He sees a hottie. Oh. A shawty. He dances up to her. And these are the top 10 lines that include food in the line. All right. Okay, so go. Ready? All right.

The middle line. Okay. Number 10. Number 10. Number 10. Girl, you must... Say it, can't even go. Can't even do it. It's only because it's so good. Say one word. One word and it's done can't even go. Can't even do it. Say one word, one word and it's done. This is why this isn't your wingman. This is like as the play you said it was perfect.

I didn't mean to laugh on it. That's exactly what he wants you to do. That's exactly, that's why he's laughing. If I said it any different, he'd be in trouble. He'd be like, what the hell's the matter with you? No, that was a confident delivery. It's like, all right, number 10, girl, you must work at a subway, cause you're giving me a confident delivery. It's like, all right, number 10. Girl, you must work at a subway

because you're giving me a footlong. Ooh, I like that. I like that. Jeff, you will play the role of Sunday Jeffrey Dahmer. You are playing, you are in a gay club because that's where Jeffrey Dahmer, that's where he perused and got all his victims. Your wingman is the notorious killer GTK, and you are in a competition to see which serial

killer has the better luring technique. So the setting is in the late 80s at a gay club, as I said before. Both of you are trying your best to lure a hot young dancer back to your place to murder them. Oh, well, hello, boss. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. you know, display that meat. You don't have a girlfriend, right? You don't have a girlfriend?

Just walk out the door and change my mind. I shouldn't be with your killer anymore. I had to give him a one for death because it seems imminent. Come on, we're going to keep going. Why don't you whip out some of that tit meat? How you digging this music? I like this culture club. What a nice little hairy chest hair. You know, you should take a nice little razor to it, you know. Smooth it up.

Do either of your hunks want to buy me a drink? Sure. Sex on the beach? It's to die for. Yeah, nice one. Me, I prefer a slow comfortable screw. You ever have one? Let me get you a drink. I'll be back. Oh my god.

Well done. Oh my god. You have a roll, Sidney. Don't stop now. Wow, look at that. I'll continue tonight at the real bar. Wow, you opened up that shirt a little more. You're really cut.

I mean, I could do some cocaine off those abs of yours. Would any of your hunks like to buy Chad a drink? Chad? I'm a foreign exchange student don't you know? Oh so uh nobody knows you're in America? I gotta give him that one. That was one that he may have used at one point. Yeah, like maybe even last night I didn't see him go home. Um, yeah, I am a foreign exchange student. I'm coming to America like Freddie Murphy.

Oh, here's your drink sir. Chad, how you doing? Oh, hold on a second. My favorite Prince song's on. I Would Die For You. Ooh, la, ooh. Well done, Sunday. Oh, please, I tumble for you. That's not a joke.

I'll die for you. Let me just suck his dick. What are you doing? Which one are you? You really belong in a club. Which one are you? You really belong in a club! Yeah, that G doesn't stand for get'em. Oh la la, Sassoon!

I feel like you're gonna win. Let's put some ambiance, maybe, you know? Yeah, there you go. You saddle up to a honey at the bar. You deliver line number nine. You're just like dancing. It's like, baby, do you sell hot dogs? Because you know how to make a wiener stand. I know I'm going to want to hear all 10 delivered in rapid fire to the same woman like before she can get away

All right, so we're gonna first play a game called herd around the yard players are given a prison slang term if not Guess correctly Walt will use in a sentence. There is a whole different world than prison He believed my they gave my ass the big bitch just for killing that clerk? Perfect. Dante? Nooch? Oh, so uh... Not supposed to be here today, motherfucker!

Yo, motherfucker, watch where you're walking. You almost stepped on my Kung Fu joes. Son... ...fucking kill you fuck off Can you believe they're gonna send my ass to the ding-wing just because I'm seeing pink elephants and little gremlins Your guy is always on edge, isn't he? Regardless of the situation. I think he belongs in the day when he's on edge. Every time we play one of these games, the motherfucker comes out every time. He just seems so rarely at home.

It's the same voice, though. Every time. I love it. It's the same fucking voice. I love it. Every time. It doesn't matter who he's playing. His tough guy voice. It's always the same thing.

Same exact thing. It's like one straight voice. I'm not like you. I don't have a billion voices. Motherfucker! Your motherfucker is like Ed Norton playing Swanee River. Before he plays every song. Dun dun dun dun dun dun. Motherfucker! It's how he gets in a character.

It's how he prepares himself every time. Fucker Hey sexy Look at the camera Hey sexy, do you like Pizza Hut? Cause I like to stuff your crust. What does that even mean? Damn, doesn't have to mean anything. Crust, crust and pizza, you never heard of a Pizza Hut that had that stuff? I have heard of that, but what is the equivalent

of a woman's crust? They are getting lost in his bedroom. The whole part of the body is the crust. Everybody have to stop down here for a second. I hunger for fear. This planet will have to suffice for now. Set course for the planet, morons! Wait, is that planet, morons?

Okay. I hunger for fear. This planet will have to suffice for now. Set course for the planet, morons! I'll be in my chambers. Master sounded displeased with us. Indeed. Why don't you please the master while I set course for the planet and line the ship? Fuck that. I don't like how master looks at me and that laugh after he's done.

It is your turn after all. I please master the last time. Are you inferring that the master gets No, he's not applying anything. He's just saying. Are they jail buds? At first I thought it was like a funny like Phrasing that he didn't intend but then as it goes on to see how each of them are victimized Weinstein style kinda Sunday. Like where's the potted plant? Dude, what has happened to you? Look at the camera, remember.

Number six. We're talking to a lady. We're talking to all the 13 percenters out there. You're trying to woo them. I don't know, that's a, you look like fucking Dr. Evil. That's this. Yeah. It's a different finger.

Wow. One billion dollars. Is this real? It's a different finger. Wow. Is this real? One billion dollars. He's like, damn, did you sit in sugar girl? Cause you got a sweet ass. Yes master. What are you looking at?

You want seconds? No master. Carry on then bitch. I would never would have dreamed. Are you laughing? Are you laughing? I'm laughing. No, master. Carry on then, bitch. I never would have dreamed. Are you laughing?

Are you laughing? Ever that this is what you like? You want to get raped again? That's right. You want to get raped? It's really weird. It would not occur to me to write something like that. I mean, like, you want another black eye? Do the dishes.

I got to throw in something in there. Yeah. Why not sexual assault? It doesn't have to be multiple rapes. It's domestic abuse. I figured like in aliens in space, no one can hear you scream. Well, here, anything goes. No one can hear you report a sexual assault to the police.

Well, the only one to report it to is the master, so... Wow. Yeah, I happen to be the police sergeant as well. Do you like Wendy's? Because I bet you're going to like Wendy's ball slap on your chin. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. I would have said it differently.

Say, Wendy's ball slap. I'm sorry, in the history of that line. That was the best line. At minimum, that line resulted in a file being like a report being filed. Alright, get him. You got one minute so you're gonna come up to us. How you stankin'? And uh, like you're walking up first day in the yard, you enjoying our gang. Alright, go.

Yo guys, what's up? Yo yo yo! Step back bitch! Oh sorry. Don't want to get on your comfort Joe's look at this dub dynasty motherfucker You're gonna get burned! Yo, it's gonna slide right in there! No, it ain't. Trust me, it ain't. It's gonna get snagged. On these snags. What you want, Holmes? I wanna join up with you. I'm in here for a day and a night.

He's droppin' it. I'm in here for a day and a night, and I got my girls out there with the Jody and I need someone who can- You want us to kill your Jody? Look, if you can get him slacked outside, I'll just go out the wall. I'd be down for it. I'm a man who can do many things.

How can you pay us? What could you do? What could you supply us? I pay you in intellect. That's it? Yeah, that's it. All right. Pay us in your intellect.

Yeah. I know how. Alright. Pay us as your intellect. Last question. What's your prison gag? What's your prison gag? You're going to prison. What's your nickname going to be? 148. That's also my crime. It's like murder death kill. It's like Murder Death Kill. Alright, let's try number three. Your legs are like peanut butter, girl. Smooth, creamy, and easy to spread. Well, thankfully they didn't say chunky. Easy to spread. But you're already, so your pick up line is, I know you're a whore.

And I'm going to liken you to peanut butter you to a cheif. Oh, it's Jeff And here comes Jeth! What'd you put peanut butter on your balls for your dog? No, no, no! Come in like this. Cause I turn hoes! Okay, now obviously the other alien's coming in from Pleasing the Master. He comes into scene wiping his mouth. What the fuck?

Blowjobs. I understand, it's like a real dark sinister side to you. Dark sinister person. Who are the aliens? Who did you think of? Who were your muses? Well, again, just say it. You know who they are. That's not true. Don't say Mike and Ming. I didn't say Mike and Ming. I did not say Mike and Ming. I did not say Mike and Ming, you did. So wait, which one's the dumb one? We know what you're talking about. Um... I hope Master is happy now.

You came to me and were like, hey, I want to do a Hanukkah special. You neglected to say it. You were like, yeah, and I got this real great idea about how we're going to have a whole bunch of fucking sexual. I was inspired while watching Death Wish to write this Hanukkah special.

You know, ranking and bass weren't ravey enough for me. I was watching cartoon on your screen. I thought there was a lot of chances on the island to miss my toys. Really good, they could be bagging each other. That's what I wanted to do. Kirby never walked around with his mouse. There's a reason he took the Bumble's teeth out, and I know what it is.

Santa Claus never got serviced by the elves. Never. Ho, ho, ho! He's like, imagine if Year Without a Santa Claus met, oh, I don't know. Fifty Shades of Grey. Irreversible because I think they pussied out with only two rapes in that movie. Or Requiem from a Dream. Yeah. Some Clockwork Orange.

Ass to Ass Master. It appears that is the end of the clips. The episode has come to an end. That's it. Hope you liked it. Yeah, hope that. And hope it drives you over an end. That's it. Hope you liked it. Yeah, hope that. And hope it drives you over to Patreon. That's really what this whole episode was about, was trying to drive the numbers up.

If you're on the fence or maybe you haven't been a member in a couple of years, I see when I look at some people, when I'm looking for contestants, that's another thing we do on the Patreon, is always looking for contestants to be represented in games, to win sweet prizes. But I'll see a lot of people who haven't been a member since 2023 or 2022. So at one time, they thought it was good enough. They thought it was worth it. They thought it was worth it. So I mean, it's a lot of material that comes out every week. It basically is – it's like Netflix now.

It's a Netflix library. It's got – from 2018 to now, there's at least 52 entries added every year, but there's more than 52 because there's some weeks where more than one show is added. Safe to say there's over 300 shows in the library at this point. You can sample it all for five bucks a month. Almost as cheap as a cup of coffee. So where do you go for – to sign up for that Patreon, Brian? You can go to patreon.com slash tellemstevedave or patreon.com slash t-e-s-d.

I think we have that vanity URL. And sign up. Like Walt said, it's $5. If it's for you, it's for you. You give it a try. If it's not for you, understandable, but I don't think that's going to happen. Well, if you're listening to this, how is it not for you? It has to be for you. Yeah. If you're listening to this episode and you got to the end, because I'm sure some people are like, oh, I already heard all these clips. This is a skip episode. But if you've made it to the end and you are not on the Patreon, I don't know if this may be it.

This is the last gasp. This is the Hail Mary of Hail Marys. If this episode hasn't convinced you. But then again, I don't know, I'm a little suspect of Curator's Clips. I'll always blame him then. If this doesn't move the needle and we don't get more subscribers, I'm going to blame Curator. That Bride Tries theme song, that could have been the linchpin that fucked it all up. Tell him Steve Dave.

Yo J-Sod's got me a beat, son. Yo, truck, get him. Yo, truck, get him. Yo, truck, get him. Yo, truck, get him. Yo, truck, get him. Yo, truck, get him. Yo, truck, get him.

Yo, truck, get him. Yo, truck, get him. Yo, truck, get him. Yo, truck, get him. Yo, truck, get him. Yo, truck, get him. Yo, truck, get him. Yo, truck, get him.

Yo, truck, get him. Yo, truck, get him. Yo, truck, get him. Yo, truck, get him. Yo, truck, get him. Yo, truck, get him. Yo, truck em Steve Dev here with some information, Y'all know my IQ may be 148, But this tale even Reddit can't debate, So listen good and listen well, To the drunk story I'm about to tell, One day at the stash, Sunday said, I feel so sexy like Rot Synth bread

Then he clapped his hands and slid his hips I never thought Jeff could move like this If walk comes in, there might be trouble Nah, no way, it's just a Sunday Jeff shuffle I said it's a Sunday Jeff Jeff Shuffle. Dance through the wild dances at night, you can't. It even burned a mini-car, of course, to the ground. If this is bad, I wanna be wrong. Make your feet flutter to the funky song.

It's a groovy dance that you really dig. You won't have to be intimate with a thing. Actually this and actually that. Sunday, Jeff Shuffle is where it's at. ["Sunday Jeff Shuffle"] It's the Sunday Jeff Shuffle. My name's Brian. I came to the stash to bust some balls and kick some ass. I saw these fools start to dance and sing.

I thought for sure it had to be Mike and me. The way he was moving, I do declare. He almost made my diggies tear with a slide to the left and me. The way he was moving I do declare he almost made my diggy's tear with a slide to the left and a slide to the right. This Jewish white boy was out of sight. I swallowed my pride and I joined my crew. Started getting down with this groovy Hebrew. I may have come here for a verbal tussle but now I'm rock hard for the Sunday Jeff Shuffle. I said it's the Sunday Jeff Shuffle. Rolled up to the station heard a sound, some funky groove was shaking the ground. 148 said, oh hey there's Walt, Please don't fire me, it's not my fault.

Now I'm not trying to sound like a jerk, but why isn't anyone doing any work? If you're gonna goof off, let's play a game. One that will mystify every ant's brain. What's on the menu? One, two, three. Then Sunday Jeff shuffled up to me. My feathers weren't at a place or even ruffled.

We all clocked out for the Sunday Jeff Shuffle. It's the Sunday Jeff Shuffle. And it's the little wild dancers that got in the town. It even burned a mini-con course to the ground. I'm S-U-N-D-A-Y J-E-F-F, I'll tell you no lie. If I got you feeling low, there's only one thing that you'll need to know. So clap your hands and flex a muscle. Every end dude, the Sunday Jeff Shuffle.

It's the Sunday Jeff Shuffle. I was in a train wreck. And the number one. Best food related pickup line. Of all time. All time. This is the one, I mean, in the guys out there, this is just not for the ladies. They could use this, right?

Yeah, this one's a good one. They just want to use it. Girl, I'm gonna make you a breakfast omelet. As in omelet you suck in this... The number one one I messed up. I wanted to get it so right too. Alright, I'll try it again. Didn't we all?

Girl, I'm gonna make you breakfast. Oh my God. I'll be right back. Did you ever see the episode of Ellie Sonny when they're trying to hit on the girls and they blow the whistle, like Frank blows the whistle? I'm getting it. Girl, I'm gonna make you a breakfast omelet,

as in I'm let you suck this dick. I'm a let you suck this dick. Oh, there you go. Omelet. Nice work. Top ten. That's a long top ten. I remember when Letterman did it. It took about as long. At least he had some pencils to throw.