Tell Em Steve-Dave - #643: Daddy Tom

Episode Date: July 7, 2025

Q’s new outlook, TESD stories retold, Superman’s importance to India, getting old and fat, Flanny’s Choice.

There's some unhappy people in the wake, but what are you going to do? But my Superman's father was Marlon Brando. Oh yeah. Coming right off of Last Tango in Paris with the butter. Yeah. Yeah. Tell'em Steve, Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve, Dave. I'm sitting here with my two good buddies, Walt Flanagan. Hello. And BQ.

How you stankin'? Uh-huh. That's right. He's not in the room. You're going to take it? It's mine. Now it's mine. So BQ, you just came in and you said you're not doing anything for 4th of July.

You're just cooling out. Because a couple of weeks ago, you were talking about maybe having a party. I have been enjoying life a lot more lately because I have been taking everything off my plate. It's all gone. It's all gone. Yeah, it's great. Massive moves?

Massive moves. How has the ramifications shaped out for that? Have there been? No, there's some unhappy people in the wake, but what are you going to do? As long as there's one guy who's happy, right? As long as the most important guy's happy, who cares about the other people? I didn't break any promises. You know what I'm saying? I didn't let anybody down. I just started saying no. Yeah, it's nice, isn't it? I've been saying it't let anybody down. I just started saying no and I Been saying it for years decades

Wait, I wish you would pull me aside I've turned down things that I literally I'm like if you told me five years ago, I was turning them down I'd be like no fucking way is my guy turning that down and I'm just like yeah, I don't do anything It's awesome. I can't fuck. I'm loving it. This is a different BQ than a couple weeks ago when we went to the diner. I'm very happy to see this. Yeah. You have a sparkle in your eye. I do.

I do. It's, it's, it's, I go to work. Got a good flesh tone too. I come home. I read, I play video games, I enjoy my life. It's been pretty great. Awesome. Wow.

Yeah. I can't believe like I turned turned down acting roles and all sorts of things like appearances, places. I've just been like, no. It's driving my reps nuts a little bit because they get paid when I get paid, but I'm like, what do you want from me? Yeah, they don't want to hear it now. They don't want to hear it now. They do not want to hear it. Especially when they're like, but look at everybody else. Look at what everybody else is doing. They're all out there doing it. I'm like, good look at everybody else. Look at what everybody else is doing. They're all out there doing it. And I'm like, good, good, good luck.

Go let them do it. I'm good. Been enjoying that pool. Been enjoying the pool a bunch. Been finally floating around. Woo. No rain. Floating around in that thing.

Reading. Reading. Read and bought. Rewrote. Finished Dark Tower. I started reading Sandman again. Really? Yeah, yeah. just flipping through it.

How many issues will you get in before you're like, will you get all the way through to the end? I'll probably get through to the end. Yeah. But it'll take a little longer than than normal. You can't, you can't finish Sandman. He's in persona non grata gaming. You haven't even wrote this 30 years ago. What am I gonna do? What do you want from me? I already own them.

It's not like he's getting more money from me. Yeah. Did he do something sexy? Yeah, he did some gross stuff. Yeah. He's not a good. He denies it. Okay.

So I don't know where that leaves you. But. Me? Yeah. I don't know. Same place you. Me? Yeah. I don't know. Same place five seconds ago. Yeah. Yeah, it's just in the mood for something a little otherworldly. How many times have you read Dark Tower?

How many times have you read Dark Tower? The first... There's a tower in his eyes. Because all of a sudden the sound goes out. We're like, what the fuck? No, it's scary stuff, man. I would say the first three Dark Tower books, there was a period where I was reading them like once a year until the new books came out. So I probably read the whole series through like three or four times, but those first

three or four books, I mean, double digits for sure. Double digits. Yeah. I mean, I got the Gunslinger when I was like 13 or 14 and I read it every year. So probably more. Is it your favorite book? It was at one time. I don't know if I would say it is now. And they made movies, right? They tried.

Didn't work? I didn't see them. It didn't work. Yeah, it didn't work. Uh, I actually rewatched the movie after I finished the last book. Cause the way the books are set up, um, without spoiling it for anybody who's read it, the movie was technically a sequel to the books. Um, yeah, it's like, and when having reread all the books and went right into the movies, the Doug, like they misplayed everything.

But I was more forgiving and it was a little more interesting going straight from the end of the book to the front of the series. Okay. Yeah. I'm ashamed to say that as a Stephen King, well, one-time fan anyway, never read the series. That's just strange. I tried to get you to read it.

I was super into it. Over the years, I've tried to get you to read it and you just, for some reason it doesn't grab you. And I have them all. Yeah. They're sitting right on my bookshelf. That's why I should do this summer. It's not technically horror, right?

It's more action. It's more Western action, but there is horror in it. It crosses over Salem's Lot directly. I don't know if you remember Salem's Lot, Father Callahan, when he gets in the bus and leaves town, he ends up in the last three Dark Tower books. Oh really? Yeah, and he's the main character in those books. He's fucking awesome. And there are crossovers with Hearts and Atlantis.

There are crossovers. So there are Heart and IT, like there's some IT crossovers. And there's horror elements for sure. For sure, yeah. It's fucked up. It's like weird horror sci-fi You have never especially somebody was into King so much. Yeah, I think at the time it might have been because I'm like, okay This is ongoing. I'll get them all then I'll read them And then once I one day and then yes, and then once I look at you know

Then you just write the ten dictionaries on my I'm like, the 10 dictionaries on my bookshelf. It's fucking insane how fat these books are. The first one's like, all right, this is manageable. Then after that, forget it. Yeah, that gets insane. But by the end, I was reading, so I was floating in my pool and I was reading the last book and it's like when shit starts going down and I'm not ashamed to say it, I started tearing up a little bit because these characters that I have been with since I was a little

kid and what happens to them in the end and who lives, who dies, stuff like that. And I'm tearing up and Helen walks in and I'm like, oh, hey, hey, how's it going? What do we need? What's going on? It's hot out here and I'm sweating. So you will read the physical copy or you're reading digital? I will, I have both. So what I'll do is if I'm in the pool, I'll read it on the iPad. And if I'm in the house or like poolside, I'll just have it. You have first editions or you have... I do.

So that way they go from any kind of money, those first editions. I think the first edition, I mean, these are well-read books. These aren't like pristine. Dog-eared. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These are loved, very well-loved books. So I don't know what, but they are all first editions. Yeah. Bernie Wrightson did a lot of the artwork for them. It's just, it's so fucking cool, dude. Yeah. Well, the few artists I met early, very early on.

Oh, I was going to say we could do a retell them Steve Dave segment if you want. You want to talk about you, our very first retell them Steve Dave story. Try to remember. The year is 1988. Yeah. Let me reach back. Father and remember the year is 1988. Let me reach back. Father and father every day. Yeah. That's what I told somebody the other day. I was like, I didn't remember something. And I

was like, you gotta understand. And like, as I get older, I got to push it out. Yeah. I can't remember 57 years worth of stuff. No fucking way. It's too much. Oh, I can't even remember like 10 years ago. I'm starting like fucking. But I do vaguely remember the Bernie rights and it was me, you and Kev, right? Yeah. We were at a kind of a small con or as a New York church con, right?

It was a New York church con, yeah. Yeah, in a basement of a church in New York Comic Con before they were- Right. But they became, you know, these monsters. Yeah, I remember their church basement. Four day events and I don't want to tell your story, go ahead. I met Bernie Wright, son. Well, the big joke was…

Of course I was gay for Bernie, I understand. Oh yeah, of course. As we left the whole ride home was because Brian made a point to make sure you spell it with a Y. Okay. Because I got my name, I got a poster of the Frankenstein poster that Bernie writes. Yeah. And it was just a print obviously.

And I went up and I stood in line, got it signed and made sure that he knew it was Brian with a Y. Yeah. That was all it took. After that I'm sucking cocks. Bernie, you know what a Y looks like. Picture me laying down with my legs spread out wide. Hands above my head. Looks like Kimbo.

Yum, yum, yum, yum. Why ask why, Bernie? Why not, Bernie? Do you remember the print you got signed? It was Prometheus, right? Yeah, it was his super highly detailed pen and ink Frankenstein pages that he did for the Marvel graphic novel. I remember that.

Yeah. They were like, they were the etchings of a madman because there was about a billion lines in these drawings. Right, and the the details insane. Yeah. It's on another level. You could say it might be either have to be brain man focused. Okay. I just realized that I wasn't recording, so this might sound a little bit different from the file you were just listening to. Yes, just to show you the 15 fucking years in.

It's complicated. It's two, three buttons. No, it's four. It's four. I just looked down and I'm like, why are these lights not – oh, shit, I didn't fucking press record. Okay. Now we're back. We're back. We're back, we're back. Okay, and we're talking. Hello, okay. And we were talking about, there's some kind of loose connection on this thing, I think, yeah, like it's fine,

but the sound on my headphones goes out once in a while. Let me hear those. Wanna hear these? Yeah, go ahead. Keep talking about Bernie. Okay, so we're talking about Bernie and me being gay with Bernie and his insane drawing. With all the lines and everything.

And I remember it said like, I will be with you on your wedding night, right? Is that what it said? Yeah. Yeah. And of course that became Brian Bernie's wedding night. Our wedding night. It became- He was talking directly to Brian for the wife.

Yeah. So I guess that was one of the cons where Muse wasn't there, so all of a sudden I was in the barrel. And boy, did I get it. What's your favorite Bernie Wrightson comic book work? Oh man. He did remember that really weird four issue Punisher series where he Punisher became an agent of hell He did Marvel Knights Punisher was him. That was the first Marvel Knights Punisher. Yeah, where he was a

He was an agent for hell. Yeah, he they gave him like ghost guns Yeah, that's signal signal on his head and stuff like that. That was Bernie I fucking read that when it came out man, and I remember being like, this is the biggest pile of dog shit. I don't remember the art at all. He was the artist, but he didn't write it though. No, I know. But like, I never went back to it because I just remember was being like, what a mistake on this character, which do you remember how Garth had his retconned it? Like when he, when he restarted it, he was literally like, he threw some, he threw someone off the empire state building or something like that. And he just made a comment about

how like the angels held me up here once. Uh, just made like a throwaway comment about how like told him, told him to fuck off, came back to earth. And I'm like, all right, hey, comic books, man, like I guess you could do that. They give Punisher some weird stories, man. The Franken Punisher some weird stories man that Franken Punisher the fucking way turn black one time Oh, yeah, that was a fuck that was that was 70s, right? No, that was that was late 80s Yeah, that was late 80s and Luke Cage was a guest star and he went undercover in prison Yeah, and he's like the only way anybody believe it is up on black and Marvel's like go for it Well, soul man was at the top of the box office charts. So Marvel was.

He took, he plotted a movie, he took tanning pills to get into college as a black kid. Love to see them try to make that movie tonight. It would be awesome. It would be amazing. Well, they did the reverse with White Chicks, right? Mm-hmm. That was.

White Chicks has grown into this cult classic. Yes, people love it. Yeah, people do love it. They're making a sequel and everything like that. Oh, are they? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I always thought they looked like aliens. They look weird.

Yeah, like their eyes look weird and their faces just look like alien-esque. I saw it in theaters. I saw white chicks in theaters. Yeah, it was like, oh, pretty funny, I guess. You know, suspend disbelief. Yeah. Yeah, but I don't think Sallman would be made today. It would be ballsy though.

I think someone will do it. Think so? Yeah. Not us, but someone will do it. Yeah. And he never caught shit for that C. Thomas hell. He is so long ago. I think people are like, we can't hold this kid responsible. Like the movie that they made.

But yeah, he does. I've heard him in interviews say like, obviously I wouldn't take that role today. Right. I didn't. I don't know. It is weird. Isn't it weird the way time works? In our lifetime, certain things are totally fine. Oh, sure.

And then it turns out, not at all. I think about things like this sometimes and I think about, and I know that it's like, I don't think about the Roman Empire a lot. Like they had that thing where people do, but I do think like, what a weird period of history. Because let's, I know it lasted more than a thousand years, but let's just say a thousand years, right and If you were born in the middle of that Like you had 80 years in that middle of a thousand like you can't ever imagine the world being any other way Because everything was the same 500 years before you were born. Everything's gonna be same 500 years after when this there was no change

It was just like this is the way the world is. There was, you know what I mean? It was like to live in our times where it's like, you can't even fuck keep up with the changes that are coming. Yeah. Um, one day something's fine. The next day it's like, like, for example, the word queer, you just call people queers as a jar. Yeah.

And then I got called it all the time. Cause my name, yeah, I was almost married to Bernie Wrightson. Uh, but then there was a long period where it's like, hey, don't say that. And now they want to be called a queer. Great. It's locked and loaded. Yeah. You're right. You can't keep up with stuff. Yeah. But even like technology and it's just like nothing day to day, it's crazy. But hey, man, I'm a fucking deal.

Do you see yourself giving up at some point on technology, being like it's like our parents gave up and are like, I can't learn this or I can't take on this. Do you see yourself ever getting to that point? I don't see you, but- I don't, but I don't think that's something that you can, I think it just happens to you. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know that it's something that, but I don't know. I'm pretty current with that stuff now. I'm almost 50, so maybe, but I think that, but how much are we going to be doing? I mean, aren't we headed to the future where you're just saying out loud like, do this and something happens?

Yeah. It looks like they are dumbing it down massively where it's just vocal commands. Yeah. So that's where I'll be in 20 years. And the vocal commands are smart because Sage has an Alexa and she's not like, you know, the clearest speaker ever, but Alexa always understands. Oh, really? Yeah. I was really surprised.

Like sometimes she'll be like, play Katy Perry or play Taylor Swift or play one of these. To me, I can tell what she's saying, but to the average person, they might not be able to. But Alexa always knows somehow. It's good. Unless it learned the first time and then it stores like, okay, this is what she's trying to get at. Right.

Well, she's probably on some sort of vocal spectrum anyway, where it's like it learned across thousands of kids that talk like her. Yeah. And I guess if it could learn like, say, like a heavy accent or something. Like you're making fun of me? Is that what you're doing? I'm just saying. Is that what that shot is? Yo, Alexa, play me a song. Got a Sinatra in there.

You're ready for Superman? I can't fucking wait. I got no someone who saw it. Really? Yeah. You're ready for Superman? I can't fucking wait. I got no someone who saw it. Really? Yeah. Now, are you a little surprised at how much they're letting out? It seems every day there's a new two-minute scene. Almost the whole movie feels like it's been leaked.

My friend told me some spoilers. Yeah. They're good spoilers. They have not let anything in. They have not let things out. There are things in there that haven't gotten out yet. Have you seen some of the reaction? I'm kind of- they have not let anything, they have not let things out. There are things in there that I haven't gotten out yet. Yeah. Have you seen some of the reaction?

I'm kind of miffed and not miffed, but I'm, I have to sympathize with people making this stuff today because they're dealing with shit that like people who made the previous super rich, a daughter didn't have to deal with this. No, it is absolutely fatiguing the millions and millions of people shitting on it before it's even released. It's just staggering. It's fucking staggering. Why are they shitting on it?

They just are like, this is not my Superman. He looks like a petulant 15-year-old acting like a spoiled brat. The complaints are endless. He had a misstep the other day. Gun? Gun, and he said something like- Fuck you! I mean-

Yeah, basically you can see it in his face. That's what he wants to say. But he's tiptoeing and dancing around it. He says, I have to remember that all the criticism boils down to like, why do I worry about what some 12 year old in India says? And the internet took that and fucking made him now he's a racist. Because it's an Indian. Because he said India.

If he had said 12 year old. Indiana. Yeah, it would have been fine. It would have been fine. But he said India for some reason. I don't know why. I'm sure he just meant distance from himself, not the country of India. Hey, man. He had to come out and apologize and say how much he loves the people of India and how

important Superman is to India. I'm like, is he really? Come on. The box offices. But like do you think the cultural, like that is important character in their history? Superman? What a great question. I don't know. I can't believe that. I would think not, but like, but he is global. He's global. I think people in India would know who Superman is. Yes.

But would he – the way that Gunn was laying on like how important Superman is to their – What are you talking about? We don't care. I thought he was laying on a little thick how important Superman was to the country of India and how he wanted to make a Superman they could be proud of and fall in love with and uphold all India's virtues. Like what?

I know like as soon as that door closes, he's like, do you believe this fucking shit? Oh yeah. He's like, motherfucker. Why didn't I just say Indiana? No. Yes. I did say Indiana. Cut out.

Did you see the scene with the dog where Superman is talking to the Superman robots? No. Oh, I love it, but the internet hates it. I didn't see it. I'm telling you my friend saw it. He refers to them as Superman robots that I asked specifically I was like, does key looks get name check in the movie? And he said, no, they're not. They didn't

know kill, you know, one of Superman's robots name is keelix. And he's been, you know, consistent characters since I think burn, right? Like wrote them for the first time, whatever. And I was, that was one of the questions I asked at killings, get a name check. And he's like, now they're all just just Superman robots or whatever. Yeah, he just says Superman robots. He goes, what the heck? He goes, why did you let crypto destroy the fortress of solitude? And the robots are like, we feed the canine, but the canine knows that we're not human

and we don't care. We don't care about the dog. We'll feed it and keep it alive for you. Other than that, you fuck off. Well, what's wrong with that? That's a fun scene. It's fun. Yeah. Those are Kryptonian robots. They're not supposed to have feelings and shit like that. And the whole time while Superman is arguing with his own robots, Krypto is like pulling on his leg, pulling on his cape, like the most unruly dog, which in-

People don't like this? People hated it. People couldn't stand it. And to me, it made me think of a different kind of aspect on that. Could you imagine a dog with those kinds of powers who was uncontrollable, who wouldn't listen to his owner though? It's fucking frightening. Maybe there's a little bit in that. My buddy said that he steals the movie, the dog. He goes, everybody's going to love the dog.

He goes, even if they go in and wanting to hate, even if they go in wanting to hate The Dog, they're like, who goes in wanting to hate a dog? Just fucking assholes on the internet in Indiana. But he says The Dog's great. He had complaints, which I'm just gonna, you know, I'll let them lay down, but he said people are gonna love it. And he goes, The Dog is awesome.

He said, Super girl is fucking dope. Wait a minute, super girls in this? She pops in for a little bit. I'm really concerned. There's too many heroes though. I really am. I hope I'm wrong. This guy's got good taste. He said, guy Garner is fucking awesome. The super girl popping is fucking awesome. I don't know. Are you worried about that? Too many superheroes in the first Superman movie? No, I don't mind them that.

I'd rather this than another origin story. Okay. Let's start fucking pretending that we all know these characters and not seeing him shot from the planet again and again and again. So I don't mind it. I don't mind. Okay. Bradley Cooper's Jor-El, you saw that?

No, I did not see that. Bradley Cooper, yeah. Wow. They leaked that the other day. He's a little young, right, for a Jor-El? Well, I think he's that. Bradley Cooper, yeah, they leaked that the other day. He's a little young, right, for a Jarrell? Well, I think he's a hologram in the fortress. Okay. Yeah.

I see my Mar- He's got to be in his, he's got to be 50s now. But my Superman's father was Marlon Brando coming right off of Last Tango in Paris with the butter. Yeah. That's my Jarrell. It's her only one at a fucking party. That's my Jor-El. Jor-El know how to fucking party.

Probably nobody's getting that joke who's listening. What's that? Last time going parrots, what's that? And then right after that is FF, two of your, two franchises you have a lot of affection for. I do. Superman is my favorite. How many Superman tats? Just the one, unfortunately. Just the one. Maybe this new movie will make you get a new tat.

The fucking chest. That's a little presumptuous. I got to get it colored and touched. Colored back up. Yeah, I'm going to get it colored back up. It's funny because I had an idea for a tattoo, fuck it, we're talking 25 years ago. Then one day I saw a muse and he had it where he had all the Justice League symbols around him.

I was like, I can't get it, man. He fucking got it. That's funny. Are you worried about FF? I've seen some stuff on that too that makes me less worried. Where do you see these comments? Like on YouTube? No, comments.

Comments are on YouTube or on X or whatever, but the clips are everywhere. But even the surfer girl, the gal surfer comes down and delivers a monologue. Her voice was cool. And I was like, woo, that's pretty fucking dope. That's where she won me over too. I saw that clip. I was like, oh wow, they pulled that off. Yeah, I too. See, and it can be done, you know, that like, you can win over the fan base with quality.

Sure. I still wish they had just used Norman Rad and had him on there and like, why not? But I have a friend who saw that movie and I didn't get any details, but he says it's good. How the fuck are your friends seeing all these movies where they're out? They work on them here and there. Oh, okay. Yeah.

And now we're so close to them that there's screenings on the Warner Brothers lot and stuff like that. They're showing like... Do the people who have Hollywood Inns, do they still get what they're called screeners before they hit the movie so that the elite can get to watch the movies or no? It's all digital now? It's all digital. It's all digital now.

Even the screeners for the Academy Awards and stuff like that, it's here's an app and here's the code and you just watch it. What's the biggest screener you ever got? They were like, we want to get this in the hands of BQ. What's the biggest screen? Oh, God. I only got one season of it. I don't even remember why I got it once. I think me and you watched Grease.

What the fuck did we watch in Moser's House? Grease? What? We watched like four musicals in a row at Moser's House one time. Wait, they renamed Grease? No, it's not Grease. It wasn't Grease. It was like musicals for like, I mean, we're going

back to 2004. This is what I'm talking about, those 20 year old memories. Oh wait a minute, okay. So they weren't your screeners then? Mosher's, yeah. Oh, okay, alright. Uh, we were house setting for Mosher. And um, but I got screeners once and it was one season, it was every movie, but I don't

remember. It was years ago, it was pre-pandemic. And how did you lose that privilege? Because you have to be, it's about the Actors Guild and the votes and stuff like that. If you don't act enough, I mean, you guys know, like you're in the guild, but you don't pay dues. You know what I mean? We don't know shit. Well, that's what I'm saying. Like you're inactive.

I've died twice as far as they're concerned. This is my second death and I haven't corrected them yet that I'm dead and I'm still alive. Do you miss them? Yeah. Well, yeah. I don't know what checks I should be getting. Oh, you still get residuals after all these years. You miss like those 30 cent checks and stuff like that?

Yes, yes. Well, get in touch with them. I do have to, but I never make the effort. I'm always like, yeah, yeah, I got to do that. And I'm like, yeah. Because there's such a pain in the ass to contact. I've got a kind of ass. It's like it's a whole thing Those checks come every day. Yeah dollar 84 I'm not a sign of exaggeration five days a week. I get a check from them. Yeah, a lot of times It's like the postage is more than the check. I have a lot. It's a hundred

Every once in a while, I'll get a check for like 350 bucks and I'll be like, fuck yeah, we're doing it. Yeah, we don't really get, you know, like all those sag residuals. I wonder how you died twice. I mean, it's not like you have a common name. I think it's somebody I pissed off. At Sag? Yeah.

I do. I know you're laughing. French restaurant. I'm not kidding around. I believe it's done on purpose. Yeah? Yeah. I believe some vindictive peon over there, when I was on the phone with him the first time was like, and I- Dead.

Yeah. Deceased. File closed. But I am very excited about Superman. Can't wait. Yeah. Fantastic Four, not as much though, it seems like. Well, I am. I'll go see Fantastic Four that weekend.

I just, Superman's my guy. You know what I mean? That's a big, big deal for me. When I went to see 28 years later, we got a trailer for Black Phone 2. I never saw the first one. I read this book. I liked it. I didn't see it. Yeah, I liked it. It's very weird and sort of 80ish. That's like an 80. Books like Dead Kids start calling them. Is that in the movie?

Yeah. Oh, it is. Oh, okay. Good, great. Yeah. So I'm hoping the second one is just as good. Okay. I don't want to spoil it for anybody. Okay, cool. Yeah. Wai, what do you think? You're excited about Fantastic Four. You're ready? I'm more excited for Superman, I think. Okay. But I will see both of them with no preconceived notions. I'll try anyway. I'm not going in there ready to hate it. That's what it feels like the internet is. They want to hate it.

Of course. I don't know why. Because it's the internet. I don't know why that is. It just boggles my mind. Yeah. Sometimes it's like, try to at least try, attempt to have some fun. Dude, it's a global army of keyboard warriors. It's all it is. Yeah.

So. I have to, I don't like to usually disagree with the advertisers. Okay. But this is the, the opening lines of this week's blue chew guys enter the room. Dick first. Doesn't that depend on what room you're entering? Yeah. I mean, I guess technically don't we all enter every room?

It happens every time you enter your room, unless you're going in walking backwards. I mean, the older I get, it might be tits first, but for me, it would be stomach first followed by the dick. Uh, yeah. Blue chew isn't just a tablet. It's a cheat code for your crotch stronger, harder, longer lasting. Like someone gave you downstairs a pep talk and a gym membership. Uh, and then they have some conversation starters. Last time I took a blue chew,

my dick got sponsored by an energy drink company. I refused to do missionary saying it was not the, it was bad for the brand. Extreme positions only. Who? Now we got to talk about that. We got to figure it out. I carry my cyclopedia. I mean, it makes you dick hard my cyclopedic tannic. It makes you dick hearted. It gives you stamina. Yeah.

It doesn't make you all of a sudden a gymnast. You still got to be pumping. Well maybe that's because they got sponsored by the energy drink. Whose quote is that that said that? This is some, I guess the copywriter. Is it some sort of like, um. Like an ad copywriter type person. It's not an influencer.

I don't think so. No. some sort of like, um, like an ad copywriter type person. It's not an influencer. I don't think so. Okay. Nah, uh, guys, this isn't just about performance. This is about legacy or third legacy. Give her group chat, something to talk about. You know, when you lay it down, they're talking about how it gets up. Nothing makes you more of a legend than a little blue chew. Okay.

This is, this is absurd. you more of a legend than a little blue chew. Okay. This is absurd. Using blue chew on the age where they're, they're fucking wives and girlfriends are not in group chats talking about how they got dicked up last night. Like these are people in their fifties and shit. But you can though, you can use it when you're younger. I read somewhere that ED is affecting people younger and younger all the time.

Oh, I don't doubt that. Yeah, I read that So pornography is like a scourge, right? Yeah, and it like desensitizes people Harder to get a bone on and all that kind of shit. So choose for everybody We've got a special deal for listeners as always get your first month of blue chew free Just promo code TESD a check out and pay five bucks for shipping. That's it join blue Choose mission to upgrade humanity one thrust at a time. Head to bluechoose.com for details and safety info. And a big thanks to Bluechoose for sponsoring this podcast. Now in the group chat, if the gal who's like bragging about what happened the night prior evening and, you know, getting all the

juicy detail coming out. Yeah. And, you know, really kind of putting it in her friend's face. It's like, what did you do last night? Because this is what I did. Does she keep back though that it was all fueled by a fucking drug though? And if not for that drug, their husband.

Yeah. We wouldn't be in this group chat right now. Or does she let it, no, let it, let me know because there is no, there's no reason not to but does she say that, you know, he had to take the super soldier serum or? I think she would. I think, I think if those, if gals of a certain age are chatting about their love life, it's probably with disappointment and being like, well, Brad, last night, you know, ever since he started taking that stuff, like it's back on, you try and get your husband, like, you know, maybe they're trying to be supportive and be helpful. I don't know if women are, especially in their chats, are supportive and helpful.

Especially to guys? Exactly. Other women. Other women. Oh, friends and stuff like that. I know fucking women are vicious on their husbands. Holy fuck. It gets crazy in those chats.

Yeah. Yeah, this is rough, man. I don't know. I don't feel comfortable about a woman talking to other people about your shortcomings. To me, I think that's a sign of not a great relationship. The foundation may be cracked. Yeah. Why are you not trying to make him- Like why are you not bigging him up?

Yeah. Why are you spending all your time writing down this fucking, in your words, fat loser? Like why? Because it's been 30 plus years. Yeah. I was going to ask you, Walt, this August it'll be five years for me. Oh, really? So, my question to you, since you've been married, at what point were you like, how do I get out of this?

You didn't sign a prenup? I didn't sign a prenup. No. How come? Smart man like you? All that podcast money. All the podcasting. You're just letting her have half of it.

I did actually bring it up prior because there were times when I was just like, what happens if this is all bullshit and she's just going to like, next thing you know, I'm paying her for the rest of my life. Like I would get into those moments of fear, but then I'm like, I know her, she's not going to pull anything like that. But you know what? I knew her then. I don't know where five years from then, and I certainly don't know where 10 years from then, like I'm going to reach a certain age where I couldn't even blame her if she's just like, nah. Later.

Yeah, come on. So. Now it's like Gilbert and his wife, you know, like Gilbert all hobbling around and shit, his wife like shuffling him everywhere. Who's Gilbert? Gilbert Gottfried before he died. Yeah, his wife was shuffling him out here and there. What are you going to do?

I mean, the horses left the barn, bro. You didn't get that prenup. You're done. You're at the whims. Did she though, but you also have to look at her from her point of view, she couldn't have thought though that you were not going to grow older. And she'd think you're perpetually going to stay middle-aged. She had to know that … The fountain of Middle Ages.

She's smart. She knows that nobody stays the same age for a 20-year-old Brian … A 50-year-old Brian Johnson is not going to be the same as a 70-year-old Brian Johnson. I think that at the, she's probably like, that's down the road. We'll worry about that. Yeah, I'll worry about that later. Yeah. That's what the country does. Then reality hits you like a fucking two by four.

Like a 70-year-old man. Get a post-nup. You can do that. Could I do that? Sure, you could do that. People do that all the time. I don't know. How's that work? She would have to agree to it too, right? You can do that. How do I do that? Sure you can do that. People do that all the time. I don't know. How's that work? She would have to agree to it too, right?

Well, yeah. She'd have to sign it, but. I don't think it would work in Jersey though. I don't know if it would work in my house. I don't know Jersey. You don't think you could be like. I think right now, I think she'd be like, why? What are you worried about?

Like after all this time now I'm worried. Well, you could say, you're gonna have to cut this out if you wanna go this route, but that, you know, Walt and I are a little concerned. We wanna make sure that the three of us always own this business, like it doesn't pass in anybody else's hands. Oh, yeah, you're right.

And it's a business concern, so we just have to get this little doctor's sign here, honey. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, this is all so I don't take over telling Steve Dave. Shh, shh, shh, just sign it, baby don't take over, tell him Steve Dave.

Just sign, baby. If you love me. She learned me like Bernie did. You would sign it. Yeah, I don't think she has any delusions about me staying. Because I'm constantly pointing it out. I'm like, is this a new mark on my face? Yeah, oh yeah.

Because sometimes you see guys with the liver spots and the H spots and that kind of shit. So I'm constantly looking for that kind of stuff. They can't laser those off. You want to, you want to get rid of them if they pop up, you want, you'll want to get rid of them. Yeah, I think so. I don't think they want liver spots all over my face.

They're not like scars, like cool scars, like almost like shark scars. Let's say like Mary Beth and I were walking down the street and I got into a knife fight with someone and saved her. Cool scar. When I got a scar, that's a cool scar. An age-induced liver spot. But that shows you that like you know, you stood the test of time. Tangled with life there.

Yeah, that's true. I didn't even get stabbed. Look at me. You want to hide all those glorious things that show how long that Brian Johnson has fucking stood the test of time? All I'm doing is reminding everyone else how long I've stood the test of time. Like, that's an old guy. Like today, like, you know, kids 20, like, you know, even 30 years old, probably look at us and like, well, they're old. Yeah.

But like you're really old when you're like, it's 70. I think 70 is when the rubber hits the road, right? Right. 75. Yeah. It seems, it seems that way. That's where I noticed a decline in people. I know who hit that age.

It was like mid seventies. Yeah. Still okay. But like that's where I started seeing the, oh yeah. My back's hurting or this is hurting or whatever. I mean, I don't feel great now. My shoulder always hurts. My wrist always hurts.

Is that arthritis? That is because when I'm in the fire department, I had my thumb bent back almost all the way to here and it just tore the fuck out of everything in there and I had to get a surgery and I didn't get the surgery because if I got the surgery, there was a chance that they were going to put me out from the fire department. They were going to have to retire me. In retrospect, I should have done it because I would have been out with three quarters pay instead of just retiring early like an asshole. I didn't get the surgery until after I had already...

So when does it hurt when it rains like that kind of injury? It hurts almost all the time. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's a constant ache right there, but there are times where it's like, when it rains and stuff like that, it is like, shit, this hurts. But you know, shoulder, that is arthritis over here. Yeah, I got some aches and pains here and there.

Still in the knees, you know, like the knees are never quite what they once were. Your knees, right, your knees went through a tough, tough run. Yeah. And they say, I think if I remember correctly, they're like, yeah, you have to get a new knee put in like every 20 years or so. Oh no, you got to do that again? So I think I have to do it again at some point. Just get a rascal. Yeah?

Yeah. I could get into the office at a rascal. I'm quickly trying to think of where I go if they accept rascals. You don't want to go. That's a fucking major operation to recuperate from again. Oh, fuck yeah. It sucked. That was the most pain I've ever been in my life. Like right after that, I remember waking up from that and being like, somebody just fucking kill me. It hurts so bad. Yeah. And it's not even at that point, like the painkillers don't do shit. It's just too much. It's too much for them. Yeah.

It's just like you're just sitting there aching and like, or they're not giving you enough. One of the two. Oh, I don't like that. Yeah. But would the redo surgery be, I think it might be a little easier cause they don't have to cut through bone. Yeah, right. Like this should be like less. I think it's just screwed to the bone so they wouldn't cut you open, unscrew it, pop a new one in.

On one hand, it's amazing. Yeah. That they can do this. I mean, it's pretty cool. Do you think that, and this is not to slight you or to, this is not your- So many of your statements start with that. This is not a- Don't take this the right way.

But when they say the normal person, the wear and tear, they need a new knee. I already saw the insult in the middle of this pill. Do you feel you put on the miles on that knee that you need a replacement? This knee? The one that … Well, I'll tell you what. It's not necessarily the mileage as much as the carriage. Oh, okay.

All right. So yeah, we just started a couple, me and some of the guys from the crew have started a weight loss program. Who's the crew? Tom's in on it, Rupert's in on it. They tried to get him in on it, but he didn't want to do it. I think Victor's in on it. You guys are trying to lose weight as a competition?

It's a competition, but it's not like how much weight can you lose as quickly as you can lose it. It's more of like a sustainable. Longevity? Yeah. It's more something like that. I've fat off. Fat off a little bit.

So yeah, so far I lost five and a half pounds. Nice. All right. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. I got to get there. I have too much clothes that don't fit me right now that I have to get back into. I'm not going to buy in a whole new wardrobe. Just not doing it.

So how many pounds you have to lose to fit in those clothes? Like another 50. No. 50 pounds? What were you buying? Fucking extra small clothes? Maybe. No, I was buying shit that fit me. No, you did not. You remember how I used to dress. Yeah. You had a lot more button downs in your repertoire.

Yeah, that's true. That's what I'm trying to get into because that's the other thing about the five years we were talking about maybe taking a ride up to Maine again like we did after we got married. We were like, oh, fuck it. Let's just take a ride and we went to Maine. We were thinking about doing that again, perhaps. So I'm desperately trying to get into some button downs by that time, another month and a half or so.

What's a button down? Like what Q's wearing right now, like a white shirt. Oh, you mean just a shirt with buttons? Yeah. And you don't have the ability to wear those yet? No, because I got too fat. Oh, and you don't want to buy new button shirts? Buttons are expensive.

Yeah. And Marybeth buys them, but she always buys them for like, because she likes the designs from like Sheen or Timo or whatever the fuck. Or Amazon. That's fucking garbage. It's garbage. And it's, and like, I'll get a 2X and I'm like, this is a small. Like I know I'm fat, but I'm not that fat. You know?

So the shit that she gets me, it's like I have to, I have to really die it down to get into it. Okay. Well, she's trying for you. She's trying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Do you ever think about going to a steam room? And just sweating it out, getting all dehydrated. And burning rights into the fucking sauna. What's with the towels anyway? Like, don't they seem intrusive? Steam room? No.

I mean, then I would just, what, sweat out water weight? That doesn't work. Or like one of those belt things that they use to, like I'm losing all my fat all over the place. No, I think the answer is to stop eating like shit like I do and to maybe exercise a little bit more, like maybe go walking. What about that magic pill? I don't know where it starts with an O.

Oh, is that a pick? Yeah. I've considered that. Cause it is, oh yeah. And I found out too, Lizzo was lying. Little, little, the real little bit of fun. No, I'm just shocked Lizzo's still around. What do we-

Yeah, Lizzo's still alive and she lost a bunch of weight. I mean, I wouldn't go so far as to be like, oh, she's thin, but she, she, she at first said that she had no help. She just said, did it naturally. It wasn't ozempic, but then it turned out. Yeah, it was ozempic. And I, why do these people lie? I don't know. It's just, it's just like,

a little bit of stigma, I think. Yeah. I, I mean, so many people I know are on it, and it works. It fucking works. How do you get it? Is it hard to get? No. Go to the doctor.

Or actually, you can even get it online now. They said there's a pill form coming too. You don't even have to do the shot. But would a doctor prescribe it? Yes. No matter what, even if he's like, you don't need to lose weight. Oh, well, why would he's like, you don't need to lose weight. Oh, well, why would you take it if you don't need to lose weight?

Because there's some people who are adamant that they're overweight and they're really not though. Oh, I don't know about that. Yeah, I wonder how hard it is to get that prescription though. Yeah, because of the right doctor or the wrong doctor. Because it's not like you'll lose 10 pounds. You're not going to lose that big for that, right? That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's like you'll lose 10 pounds. You're not going to want to lose that big for that. Right?

That's what I'm saying. Like a doctor shouldn't be like giving out this pill. He's like, no, get on a treadmill and a week you'll be good. Sure. Don't get off the treadmill. Just keep going. No, if you only got to lose like 10 pounds or five pounds, get on a treadmill. Don't.

Three pounds a week. Let's not go the route of this drug right now. That's what I would hope a doctor would say before then, or just immediately writing out a prescription for it, you know, because you got a new role you want to fucking fit into your spandex superhero costume. Right. And you want to go Superman, dress as Superman. Yeah, I guess, but like, I don't know. It's a weird thing because it would be better if they just changed their lifestyle to lose those 10 pounds, right? It's a weird thing because it would be better if they just changed their lifestyle to lose those 10 pounds, right?

It's obviously the healthier thing. But some people like my buddy, I mean, I don't want to name names, but he was like, he lost like 70 pounds on it. And he looks, it's like life-changing. Did he need to lose 70? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Now what happens if he gets off of it? Well, I have another friend that lost 50 pounds, got off it and he put it all right back on. That's the problem. That's the problem. And is it too new though? Do we have an idea of the knock-on effects and the ramifications of this long-term or is it still too new?

From what I understand is because it's an existing drug that was for something else. Things for diabetes or something. Yeah, that it all... I don't know. Look, I don't know. So don't fuck... Listen to me on this. But what I keep seeing is that the advantages keep coming up. It actually regulates your mental health a little bit.

It's a weird... They keep finding all these benefits to it. Oh boy. Yeah, so- So it could be the wonder drug, huh? Could be. Does it put on muscle too? I don't know. Or that's steroids, right?

I don't know. I'm all natural, baby. Or steroids. I'm right in the middle. Did you see that liver King guy? He was a couple of weeks back, the liver King who like he espoused a – he was like he looks like – you know the guy on the January 6th with the wolf head on him and shit? Yeah.

Kind of reminds me of that guy but he's like – he looks like Conan. The barbarian. Conan. Yes. Yeah, not Conan O'Brien. Totally ripped, shredded 1% body fat. He said he did it all due to this raw liver diet that he was eating and raw meat and vegetables and all this other shit. Then it turned out he got busted. He was spending $10,000 a month on steroids. 10,000 a month to be the liver king.

But it's like, isn't it just like, when you do shit like that, it's just a matter of time before you get found out. Or die. Or die from it. Yeah. I don't know. I got a game.

All right. I said, remember I made the decree of one game a month? And then you had the great idea, well, not one new game, revisit an old game. Yes, great idea. And Tom stepped up and he came up with some Flanny's Choice questions. Oh, whoa. It's been a while. It hasn't been that long. Flanny's Choice?

It hasn't been that long. We've kind of played it recently, but I have some scenarios to see who knows me better. We only have nine, so it'll be real quick. I'm offered a walk-on role for no compensation in the new American Godzilla film, but my character is a janitor who slips on kaiju poop and dies screaming. The scene goes viral forever and for the rest of my life people yell when they see me, hey look, it's God shit up. Do I take the part or turn it down? But you don't know that going into the part.

How much of this do you know? Well, the studio is like, we're going to really push this. We want this to go viral. We called Sag. We got you alive again. We want you to be God's shitter. I think that while Walt has certain interests that are like – I'll go beyond interests. I'll say passions. Godzilla being one of them. So to be like, wow, I could have a walk on roll so not as much as expected of me. I'm just going to be in the background or whatever. I think he would say yes to that.

Being showcased, a featured extra, a man of his stature. Where is it filming? It's filming. In Jersey? Over in the Netflix studio? That information was not in the scenario. Okay. So yeah, the studio says that they are actually going to use their social media to try to

push this scene and make it go viral and it works and I do become God shit. Now I've also heard stories about Walt going out with his family. He doesn't want to be acknowledged as Walt Flanagan. I think he fucked himself because I don't see him not being known as God shit from now on. So I think about with his family, his new grandson, it's like, hey, don't think the answer's yes. Okay. All right, there's the answer to number one.

Number one, I have the card. I decline the part. We got it. All right. All right. Now, you guys made good points, but the real reason was there was two clues in that one. I said it was the new American Godzilla. Oh, okay.

And for no compensation. I caught both those things, but I still thought like so American is no good. I think the American version of Godzilla is for me, it's a joke. It's a cartoon. They've kind of lost their way after the first one with Bryan Cranston, which I adored. They've really lost the script there and have really gone in a direction that doesn't appeal to me. And then you also say, you're not going to get paid for it. And I've been on sets before. It's brutal.

At least I was like, well, at least I'm getting paid for this. I'm not even going to get that. And then I went out like when I'm out in public, people are going to be yelling at me. God shit up. Is it shitzilla or god shit up? What was it again? God shit up. God shit up.

Shitzilla does roll up the tongue a little easier. It could be either or. We know it's going to be both. So yeah, I turn it down so you guys both got that right. All right. All right. Let's put a little mark down here. All right. Number two. I got that one right too.

Okay. Come on now. You're not playing for anybody. Just for shits and giggles. Let's just do it right. I don't know if you guys have heard this news, but with the recent news that Marvel has pulled the plug on publishing any more Marvel Masterworks volumes. Yeah, I don't know if you heard this, but my beloved, the only thing that brings me

joy in comics anymore, Marvel has said it's gone the way of the dodo bird. They're not publishing them anymore. I guess they're not profitable. Not even digitally? They're just... Who wants it digitally? I mean, I can get them illegally, digitally. True.

But I want them on my bookshelf. I had all the volumes and it was just something that I could look at and be like, that's fucking awesome. I got them all and I'm going to keep buying them. But Marvel has said no. But a mysterious benefactor contacts you and offers to fund all future volumes, thus ensuring the line continues. But only if I agree to never speak to Sunday Jeff again, even on a podcast, do I take the deal. I think it's a no. My first instinct is no. I mean, how do you turn your back on a friend of decades to be like,

some good comics are going to come out. But those comics- That I've all read before. But those comics were there for me before Sunday Jeff was. comics are going to come out. Yeah. That I've all read before. But those comics were there for me before Sunday Jeff was. They gave me my companionship and my, you know, they were there for me long before I ever knew a Sunday Jeff. I don't think this podcast becomes what it became without Sunday Jeff.

You guys can still talk to him. We're going to sit there while we talk without Sunday Jeff. You guys can still talk to him. We're going to sit there while we talk to him. I'm not going to rip on him like you do. You know what I mean? People need that. Yeah. I think that you said something key there, which is like you have them all and then you would get all the rest. But you have them all now. So I think that's –

I don't – But there are still many volumes that I was hoping to see come to fruition. Just to come out. Like there's some that I was hanging, just waiting for the months to come out for the announcement and now it's never going to come out. And it is a massive disappointment for me personally. I wrote an email to Marvel. Really? To who? There was an online, on this Masterworks forum where you could contact some big wigs at Marvel. They were saying, we should do this. We should let our voices be heard. And sheepishly or not sheepishly, what's the word? Almost like, I was like, I can't believe I'm going to do this. But I dropped it.

I was on comic book man and how much I adored the line and yada, yada. Yeah, I still haven't heard back crickets. Marvel didn't respond to it. Why don't you give the email out to our audience right now and see if anybody wants to take up the cause and help out. I don't know it right off the bat. I'm not prepared. But I was thinking about maybe even doing like a burrow trending. Remember how we made burrow trend after we fucked burrow with the commercial we did?

Burrow rocks. We made a trend on Twitter. But I was thinking maybe I rallied ants to do a save the masterworks hashtag. That's right. But I just think that Marvel's like, yeah, hashtags don't fucking pay the bills. Are these hashtags going to... Is this money being translated? Is it going to translate into sold volumes? I can't make that promise though.

I know it's not going to. They're not cheap, right? No, they retail between 75 and 100 bucks a volume. And how many issues are in each volume? 10 to 12. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. Yeah, it's a lot of money.

It is, but I funded it all by selling my comic book collection. I went and sold all the key issues and then used that money to buy the masterworks that were ungodly prices because they were out of print and I didn't buy them when they first came out. So now I'm like, fucking fuck. But I could fix this problem right now. I know. I don't think you'd do that. No.

Nah, you're not the type of guy to turn your back on a friend. That's not you. Well, it's not like I'm turning my back on him. It is literally you're turning your back on him. So it's to not talk to him. But like I talk to him maybe between, I have a go between maybe I say, hey get this message to Sunday Jeff for me. I miss you. But I'm still not talking to you because where will I find volume fours coming out next week, bitch?

I'm writing this down. Well, I'll tell them, bitch, you want me to say bitch at the end? Nah. No, you say no, Brian. I'm going with no too. Is it like, if it were maybe a different, like maybe a Jimmy? You know, so expendable? Yeah.

Then I would say yes, but Sunday Jeff has been there for a thick and thin. I just want to know who the mysterious benefactor is. Yeah. Okay. I have the envelope here. Number two. I decline the deal. All right. Another round of-

Yeah. Can't abandon Sunday Jeff and just drop him like a bad fucking- No. What's a bad one? Habit? Bad habit. Yeah. All right. Sunday Jeff and just drop him like a bad fucking, what's a bad habit? Bad habit, yeah, all right. Those are too easy, right? This one next one gets a little bit more difficult to decipher or figure out. A fan writes to TSD offering to donate 10 years worth of rent in a window storefront

on the first floor of the airport plaza. But only if my wife gets a tattoo of Gimms face on her lower back. Do I pass on this offer or do I agree? I mean, I'm just going to go ahead and say pass. There's not enough Bluetooth in the world to overcome that fucking issue. The mere suggestion to your wife, which is like, look. 10 years, a full decade. Yeah, we can make money, dude.

You don't have to do that. Get him face. Get out of here, bug. Get him face. No, I would have to say no. No, huh? You know though, rent is a big expense. Downstairs especially. You're talking probably the size we would need,

probably four to $5,000 a month. Yeah. I mean, I'm okay if you want to do it. I just don't think that you should do it. I don't think so. Yeah, I think the deal is going to be declined. It's probably 50. It's probably what's 50 times 10. 500. It's a half a million dollars in free rent. That's a lot of money. I mean, I guess if you put it like that, would you, I guess the question becomes would you take half a million dollars for your wife to get a tattoo, get them on lower back? That's a different question.

I still think the answer is no. Is this benefactor around because Harry Bat's about to get a tattoo? Both say nay? I'm going to say no. There's no fucking possible way. All right. Number three, I pass on the deal. We are knocking them out of the park today.

Yeah, we're doing great. Yeah, why the fuck don't you guys as gals have to get a fucking tattoo at Get-Em-On-The-Back? Why do I have to be the one? The only one that has to deal with that shit. I was like, fuck that. Why do I have to be the only one that has to pay the fucking horrific price of Get-Em-On-The-Back? Horrific price. It's like a Bernie Wrightson super detailed.

This is how you stank into a word balloon. Not too good. Pretty bad actually. Made a bad choice. Wow, you guys are three for three. A time traveler shows up and offers me a deal to erase my worst memory, but the side effect is I forget my wedding day. Do I take the deal?

I think, wow, that is a good one because how much do you remember your wedding day anyway? Do you want to wedding day anyway? You want to hear about it? I do, I do. It is hard to remember large portions of it. It is fragmented memories at best from 1994. Super stressful for my wife. She's not one to want to be- Center of attention. Yes.

You know, stuff like that. And she's very nervous, very worried that something's going to go wrong. In that being around that kind of person, then you kind of get a little bit of that vibe too, or you start to worry too, like what's going to go wrong. I don't have, too, like what's going to go wrong. I can't remember gigantic portions of the day, but I'll tell you this, I don't think I've ever revealed this. I didn't consummate the fucking marriage on the night we got married. A bit just too tired? She was just too zonked out. She had a headache. She said like a migraine because we had our

house at that point. After the wedding and the reception was over, we came to our house and we had a flight the next morning to Disney. Uh, we had to be up early and get to the airport and she just went to sleep. She just was like, she put a rag on her head and went to sleep and I just went, and I too went to sleep and we were just zonked.

Yeah. Now that doesn't mean though that the mouse still isn't getting my seed out of the fucking out of the sheets to this day on the honeymoon. Cause I made up for that night. Yeah. Yeah. The Mickey paid a horrible price for all the, uh, yeah, but yeah, that night.

Yeah. We didn't do anything that night. I don't think I knew you went to Disney World for your honeymoon. I would think that's the sort of thing you would make fun of other people for doing. Oh yeah, I would. Yeah? In the right mood, yeah. Yeah, you could go after them.

Yeah, I had never been to Disney World before that. She had been as a kid, but I don't know how we came upon that, but we went to Florida, we went to Disney and it was awesome. We probably stayed two days too long. Yeah. How many days did you stay? I think we were there for. I think it was 10 days.

Yeah, I think it was 10 days. Oh, that's too many days. Back then there were only like two parks, right? I mean, there was times that like I went to the park and she just stayed in the room because it was too hot. And I was doing things for like the fourth or fifth time. Yeah. Yeah. We had, we were there for way too long. I mean, it sounds kind of awesome to me. I love Disney. I, you know, I love it. Sounds like a blast.

It was fun, but 10 days is a long time. And like you said, there wasn't as many parks back then. But yeah, that was that's and I remember people being there. I remember the wedding day. I remember the reception, of course, with the horrible fucking toast. Tell him Steve Dave. Tell him, remind him to keep the toast. Yeah, it was. Well, well, I wasn't supposed to give a toast. This is a bonus. In all fairness. Tell him Steve, Dave. In all fairness to me, I wasn't supposed to, Kevin was supposed to give the speech

and then, you know, I would give, I was just supposed to be there, but then it was like, do you want to say something? So I was like, I should have said no. Yeah. Should have said no, but then I said yes and, uh, brought up Walton and his wife, Meadey and Keensburg. brought up Walton and his wife, Meadey in Keensburg. Which is kind of, it had a bad rep back then as a town where you could score illicit drugs on the cheap.

Right. Easy. Yeah. And I said- But it was true. It was true. Okay. It was true, yeah.

And I said that it was- I got a feeling that's not the problem. That wasn't the problem. Opening with that. Yeah. It was true, yeah. And I said that it was- I got a feeling that's not the problem. The problem was saying that Debbie helped wean Walt off a methadone. I don't know why he said it. I didn't even know what methadone was back then. I just heard the word something's M-done and I remember people's faces hitting the floor and looking over at me. I didn't know what it meant. I had no clue. I looked at my wife's face and her face is aghast.

Really? I don't even know if she knew what it meant, but she knew it wasn't good. All her fears came true. That's why she had to vibrate. I tried to get no pussy that night. It all comes back to me. Oh, that is great. Yeah, but she was very, very unhappy with that toast.

And I've heard about it for years, but my worst memory though erased. But we don't know what your worst memory is. Right. I was racking my brain for it too. Cause there's some, like, look, if like you were obviously like molested by your uncle or something, that's an easy, like, yeah, I'll take this. You have to lay up. I don't know.

But like, if it's just like a normal life, bad shit happens. Yeah, I was kind of thinking about what would the memory be? And I don't know. So I guess it would just be subconsciously it would be it would be something that this time traveler would somehow know what it is without even me realizing what it was. Yeah, I would say somehow know what it is without even me realizing what it was. Yeah, I would say no, because I mean, you guys remember Star Trek, of course, for Undiscovered Country. You just want your favorite movies where Shatner, where this godlike creature offices take away their pain and Shatner's like, I want my pain. I need my pain. I always thought that was a great line in a kind of crappy movie. I actually kind of liked the movie. I don't know about that movie. It was fun. And I do think that that shit is formative.

I don't think you would want to give up your memories of your wedding day. I've known you a long time now. I know you had some issues with your dad early on, but I don't think anything that you'd be like. Oh, wow. I know. It may be that, right? Yeah, but I don't think your relationship with your mom is so good as a result of it. You know what I mean? I don't know that you want to... I think you pass. I pass. Yeah, I was going to say the same.

Pass. Yeah, I think you're going to pass. Because like, I mean, at least you've never brought up something that even hinted at like something so horrible that you would – because I mean, you're wedding day. All you have are like a couple of pictures probably and some fragmented memories. Methodo. Yeah. You don't want to lose that, do you? All right, question four. I declined the deal.

All right. We're fucking knocking them out of the park here. I think it all boils down to being lucky that I don't have one super horrific memory. Yeah. I'm lucky to be able to say that. I know there's a lot of people who can't say that. But I feel like I can honestly be like, I don't know what it would be. What did I, did the Marvel Masterworks stop printing? I don't even know what memory would be eradicated from my memory bank.

Yeah, it's hard, man. You get to a certain age and it's just all part of who you are. And like, just get over these things. That was a good one from Tom. So I think we're still all tied. Nobody has stepped out on their own. All right. My roof collapses, but my neighbor

has a brother who owns a roofing company. And he offers to fix it for free, but only if I agree to have a beer with him every day and an hour of bro time. For how long? Is this in perpetuity? As long as he's my neighbor, I guess, as long as he lives next door to me. I got to have a beer with him every day and I got to have an hour of bro time. Seven hours a week? Bro time. No, no, an hour bro time, I think a week. It's a beer every day and an hour bro time a week. I see.

Yeah. Over the course of – that's only 10 minutes a day though. Oh, I see. It's not a roof. What do you got? You don't have like slate or anything like that on there. It's got a regular old roof. Regular roof.

Slate. Some of us have slate roofs. Not me and you. Oh, good. We've had slate roofs, man. Society did it for thousands of years. What is it? Fucking bedrock?

It's slate. I know, but do you even fucking live next door to the rubbles? Near where they make my slate. They make that somewhere else like Indiana. And then they bring it to me or someone brings it to me. Uh, so regular roof is around what? 25 grand. Oh, I think, I bet you it's 25 to I think Tom paid 30. 30.

Okay. So let's even, let think Tom paid 30. 30. Okay. So let's even, let's even say 50. Yeah. Okay. I believe that you would pay 50 grand to not have to have a beer a day and spend 10 minutes talking to your neighbor.

So I'm going to say no, that kind of is a backhanded slight at me that you think I don't want to deal with my neighbors. I know you don't want to deal with your neighbors. You're saying that I am such a douchebag that I'm like, I can't fucking, who does he think he is that he, that he, I'm going to spend 10 minutes with him a day. Wow, you are extrapolating a lot. I just think I wouldn't want to do it. Like a daily obligation to drink a, I love my neighbors. You love beer too. I know. I don't want to do it like a daily obligation to drink a bad love my neighbor You love beer too. I know I don't want to go out once a day like you look at that roof. You're like free roof Yeah, well, it's late

No, I think I don't think so. I don't think it sounds like such a who is this mad man? That's demanding this That's my question is like this guy like I'm like, why do you want to hang out with me so bad every day? Yeah. Come on, I'm irresistible. Why is your brother doing it for free? What's his fucking deal? I also like what Walt does it also financially.

He does not like to be beholden the people. I tried to pay for their lunch at Red Robin one time, him and his wife. You would think I was trying to pay off their mortgage or something. They wouldn't have it. They wouldn't have it. Okay. So I think, yeah, like something that big and then beholden to them for something that much.

Yeah, I don't think so. Seemingly forever. I mean, this is what fucking house insurance is for. Yeah. Yeah. Right, but I have- He's trying to steer us away from the right answer. He always does. I have been what some would call God's gift to a neighbor.

I have been of the utmost assistance to my neighbor when they needed me the most. Not when I was just bothering them for like, hey, sure is hot out, right? Let's talk for 15 minutes about nothing. No, it's like, Oh, your dog got out. I'm on it. Yeah. Great. I'll find you. I'll find it. I'm here. I'm not going to give up until we find the dog. And then I don't even need to talk to you after we find it for about a year. That's great. Right. That's it. That's why I'm saying God's gift to the neighborhood. That's me. I agree. So that's why everybody wants to fucking hang out. I don't think drink a beer. The question is not whether I think do people want to hang out with you.

I think people do want to hang out with you. I don't think you want to hang out with them. And that's the important difference. All right. So you're saying nay and you're both saying nay. I'm going to turn down the free roof. Yes, sir. Question five.

Question five. The answer is, holy shit. Get out of here. I become his bro. How? I become his bro. Why? That's a fucking expensive endeavor and like, can you imagine me saying to him, no?

Yeah. Yeah. Like to his face, how horrible is that? How bad does that guy feel when I'm like, no, keep your free roof. I don't want to hang out with you even for 10 minutes a day. Then I got to live next to the guy and it's so awkward when I see him every day and I'm like, oh, hi, hi, James or whatever the fuck your name is. I can't remember.

You didn't want to dedicate part of your life to me, remember? Yeah, it would be so awkward. If he moves away, do you still have to do it on zoom every day? No, if he moves or I move, yeah, the deal is done. I fulfilled my obligations. I think my wife would be furious if I decline that deal. For 20 years, 10 minutes a day. I can't give 10 minutes a day to a guy who went out of his way to help me put a roof

on my arm in blizzards in every day no matter what I walk over and my came in let's fucking crack a beer. What have you got? What if I got COVID? I opened up the window and we talked to between two windows like between the space between the houses you know like sure wish I wasn't sick, I could come over. I'll be better tomorrow. I'm shocked. I'm blown away. I believe you because I don't believe you would lie, but I'm blown away.

I feel like it would be incredibly – I couldn't say no because of how rude it would look if I said no. But I would be like, why do you want, that's weird. Why do you want to spend that much time with me every single day? He likes me. Yeah. I mean, you're like lots of people, but it's like, you don't want to spend 10 minutes. And he's lonely too.

Oh, he is? Yeah. He doesn't have a wife. Oh, okay. Oh, man. Now it makes more sense. Why don't you go over there anyway then? Like, why do you need the roof? Yeah, I thought you were a super neighbor. Yeah. Check in on the guy. You can give him five minutes a day for free.

Well, I mean, look. When he fucking ponies up the money to fucking put the paper in the roof, then we'll talk. So then, what has he done for me? Fuck you, pay me. So, you both get no points on that. That is shocking. All right. Netflix approaches the comic book men to make a new docu-series detailing the breakup of

the show and catching up with the guys years later. But the producers insist on making Mike the breakout star and minimizing my screen time. Do I sign on? Are you going to do that to Godshitter? Are you going to fucking do that? I was going to say, what mental asylum is sponsoring this? The same guy with the marble mat. Are you all getting paid the same?

Yes. Less work, same pay? You don't care about screed time. It sounds like a dream actually. I'm sure one day you and Mike are going to patch things up. I am sure you and that guy, you're going to shit on the gravy. I'm sure you guys are going to be sharing a beer one day. Arm around each other, fucking kissing each other on

the cheek. I don't know. Fuck. Wow. This is a tough one. What do you think? I think he wouldn't want to be involved to begin with. Like if we're like, hey, we're going to, we're going to catch up with the comic book men and stuff. Like if Nichelle was, it was involved and probably I think that would be, then he probably would be. But let's assume that he agreed to, uh, yeah, I think he would, I think he would, cause it means less work. He doesn't, he doesn't really care about screen time. If they want to make Mike a star, so be it as long as he's getting paid. I think it would content for this show. Yeah.

He'll be on end date. I think he does it. Yeah. I think he does it too. I think he does it. Six. I sign on the dotted line. All right.

All right, we're back. You guys called and then it's like, I get to do fucking way less work. I get paid the same amount of money. Yeah, go for it. Go for it with that fucking hit show that you're going to be your star maker. Go ahead. Hit your wagon to that star. I want to see it so bad. I really do want to see it so bad.

I really do want to see it. It's still tied. All right. I'm offered two lifetime season tickets to the Devils, but the second seat has to be permanently given to one of my three work sons. Do you know my work sons? The three of them? It's going to be Tom. It's going to be permanently given to one of my three work sons. Do you know my work sons, the three of them? It's gonna be Tom.

Yes. It's gonna be Rub. Nope. Well, get him. Yes. Tom, get him. And Jimmy the hair guy. Jimmy the hair guy?

Yeah, he played the role of, we did a segment called My Three Sons. Okay, all right. And I've kinda taken him under my wing. Rob, Rob's a married man with a kid. He doesn't need any. He doesn't need any. Tom? Tom is, Tom is married, but Tom has, Tom has a lot of issues he's got to work out. I'm trying to make him grow some nuts that he had, that he got cut off. It's a long process.

Okay. You know, we got to work at it. I'm always like, you can do it. You can say no to your wife. But what hope? You have to do everything she says. She's like, what did he say? Tom's driving right now, lowering the volume in the car. What hope is there for Jimmy the Hair Guy?

What are you going to do with that for him? I've tried to help him with his incredibly irresponsible spending and his health. Tried to tell him that he's on the road to ruin with totally ignoring his doctor's. Wow. Advice on stopping the diabetes from advancing and trying to help him out when I can without being too heavy handed. Sure. Okay.

Or I could become a pain in the ass, but. How often do you talk to Jimmy the Hair Guy? I might say once every other day via text. Via text. What is the average exchange like? I love that shit, bro. He throws the word love around a lot. Yeah.

I don't know what is out there. That shit can be, you watch the show or a podcast that we did or whatever song I mentioned. I love that shit too, bro. Yeah. He's super easy to talk to because it's always upbeat and like, I love this. Right. I like that.

That's great. It's never like, hey, I got this problem. What do I do? It's never like, it's too heavy. He's a charming guy. It's easy lifting with him. Right, right. Tom, he's a mess.

I didn't realize that. I didn't realize. You went there like Tom seems like he has it put together. Yeah. Not the case. Not the case at all. Okay, so those are the three we're talking about. Tom, Jimmy, get them. Yeah. Okay.

What's the question? What was the- Oh, so yeah, I have two lifetime season tickets to the Devils. I can only choose one of my work sons. Which son do I choose? Just two of them are going to be butthurt and think that they are lesser. I think Tom gets the nod. Do you need any more time with Adam?

Do you need a second more with that guy? I don't think so. And Jimmy, I've never heard him, I know he loves everything, but I've never heard him really talk about the devils at all. I fucking love the Devils, bro. Sure. But Tom's not a sports guy either. Yes, he is.

Is he? Yeah, he likes the Eagles. That's right. He's a bandwagon guy, right? Yeah. Yeah. You know, you've pointed out that Tom's big issue is his wife. You've said that.

You've publicly said that. A couple of times this year. So that would get him... I'm just busting his balls. But that kept you some one on one manly bonding time, you know what I mean? You're trying to build up that specific issue with a sports game? Yeah, we don't need dames. Don't need no broads around here.

This is a boy zone. Unless they, what do they call them, the devil dancers? They're gone. What a shame. Who are you going with, Brian, what do you think? I think Tom. I think Tom. I guess it's Tom.

I'm going to mix it up, make this interesting. I think it's Gittem. Really? Yeah, I agree that he spends way, way, way too much time with him, but he's always going to be there. Like Tom, Tom is going to, they both live far away. So Tom is like Walt said, maybe he's not going to be able to get out. His wife's going to give him some shit. Jimmy, it would just be too annoying because you would love everything.

Well, let me ask a question then. If Tom can't make the game, you still go but the seat's empty. No, I'm not going to answer that. No. It's Tom. You think it's Tom, huh? I do because I think the distance actually adds a little bit. A little buffer. I know that he has gone several times to games with Githem too.

Like a game where it was freezing out where they almost lost their extremities. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I almost lost my toes. That was the classic you went to. Yeah, the classic. Yeah, I'm going to say Githem. It'll just make it interesting. Okay, here we go. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I almost lost my toes. That was the classic you went to. Yeah, the classic. Yeah, I'm going to say get them. It'll just make it interesting.

Okay, here we go. Okay. Seven. Tom. It's Tom, huh? Pulling in, yes. And there's a reason. Okay.

Because a season tickets to the Devils means that's 42 games or 44 games. I think it's 42 games for home games. Out of those 42 games, Tom's wife probably lets him go five times. Then the other 30 sometimes, I could bring somebody else and I could bring Jimmy or get him. Everybody's happy. No one feels slighted. His wife ain't letting him out of the house 40 fucking two nights out of the year. Well, she could just not keep an eye on him, man. The only person I see doing that is Ming. Oh, yeah, yeah.

He's not one of my work sons. No, that definitely. All right, so I'm down one. You're down one. Yeah, you're up. That's what happens when I try to make it interesting. Yeah, that is, I guess, interesting. Tom Brady.

This is the last two. Tom Brady has agreed to come on TSD for episode 700. The catch is he wants me to call him daddy every time I speak to him. Will Tom- He wants you to or wants you to stop calling him daddy? It's an important distinction. He wants me to refer to him as daddy every time I address him on the podcast. Okay. Just for one episode. Yeah. Will the goat be on episode 700?

I think yeah. I think yeah, because it's almost like it's funny. Yeah, it's even better that that's the fucking thing. It's just so weird that that's his thing. There's so many people that talk about it too. Yeah. And you're just like, but where's the fun in not doing it? Like, what's the story? I didn't call Tom Brady daddy every time. Yeah. Add his insistence. Yeah. I think you do it. I would do it. But you know what he does to his son though? He kisses him on the mouth. Well, I didn't think it was just like you were his real son. Like I thought it was just like,

you know, joking around like, Hey daddy, you know, like, yeah. And what if he goes in for the fucking kiss? For you? Yeah. Yeah, do what you gotta do, bro. That's your daddy. It's episode 700. I mean, he's on camera kissing, you know,

kissing his son on the lips. And then all of a sudden, if I'm calling him daddy, then the lines are blurred, and all of a sudden we're making out. I mean, it sounds like a great episode. Tell him Steve, Dave, to me. I can't wait. Yes, yes. Yeah, I think you do it.

Okay. Hey, Tom Brady is on episode 700. Daddy's home, everybody. Daddy's home. So I bet you can only tie, Brian. Yeah. Now this next one, this is where I'm a little worried about Tom. This last scenario was really out of left field and really strange, but I wake up in an alternate universe where TSD never existed. I'm happily married to Ming and running a candle shop worry free. I have one chance to come back to my reality, but to do it, we both have to kill the alternate

reality versions of both our families to do it. Oh my God. What do I do? Wait. So me and Ming have to kill- Who? You don't have- Our alternate-

You don't have a family. You're married to Ming. Well, what is my wife and his wife, what are they up to right now? Oh, you have to track them down. Track them down and kill them. So just wives, because your children wouldn't exist. Yeah, they wouldn't exist. But that's to get back to your wife, in a way.

Yeah. So I'm killing the alternate version of her to get back to the version that I remember. Only I remember, Ming doesn't remember it. I'm trying to convince him of it. Oh, because Debbie's got to die too. Yeah. Oh, you're not going to make that. But you're happy. Can I really be happy married to Ming Chen?

You said you were happy making that up. Is anybody ever happy married to Ming Chen? I see no evidence of it. We know at least one person who isn't. Oh, this is a good one. It's really dark and I'm like, what is going on in Tom's mind? So you wake up in an alternate reality where there was never any tell him Steve, Dave, you're married to Ming.

And I remember my reality, but I'm only one who does and I'm told that if we kill these two people In this timeline will both be shot back to our our Reality and everything go back to you have you also have all the memories of that life, too So you have both branches in your head. Yeah, so you remember yeah Then I need to fucking get that fun got that time travel to remove my worst memory is being married to Ming. You're fucking Ming in the Polynesian.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's fucking crazy, man. Holy shit, that's rough. Wedding night. Aw, I'm too tired, boy. I got headache. Oh, man. Oh, fuck. What would you do in this situation?

I'd hunt him down and kill him. Yeah, I think I would too. What? Yeah. I'd have to. I don't want to be married to Ming. But you're happy though, it said. Oh, yeah. Ming, you can handle this. You got a prenup. Everything's great. Everything's great. Do I even have to worry about the post-nup.

I don't know. I don't think you could do it. I don't think you could kill a virgin of Debbie. I just don't think you could. Could have maybe hired somebody else to do it. Is she happy in this other life? Like when you track her down. I don't know any of the details.

I have to track her down, find out the details. And she's super happy. She's having a great life. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's rough, right? It would be so weird too. It's just like, I got to kill you. Yeah. Yeah. No, you know what? Thinking back, I don't think he would do it. Yeah. Like you go, you pull up to like Debbie's new house with a new husband, new family. They're all happy. Kill in front of all of them.

Well, that's not good though. What if she's happier than with this new guy than me. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, then I'd be like, then it's a lot easier all of a sudden. No, because you love her, you want her to be happy, her most happiest. Yeah, but then I'd be like, she's way happier than I remember her being. So are you. You're making candles with me.

You're doing great. That shit is not fucking a happy existence. You're the one who used the word happy. No, Tom did I Don't think so. I I think face with the reality of killing a doppelganger of your wife I don't think like she doesn't know you so she's scared Murdered by a stranger. Yeah, I

Don't think Ming would be able to kill anybody. I think you're fucking. Yeah, I think that might be your reality. It's candlesticks for you from now on. Yeah. I think I'm just going to be fucking, just the only, the only candlestick is Ming's candlestick for me. Yeah.

Jumping over it. Jumping on it. Jumping on it. Yeah. I, it's tough. I, I don't wishing on it. Jumping on it. Yeah. It's tough. I don't wish that on you, but I don't think you're going to murder your way out of that situation. You both agree?

I agree. Yeah. You don't seem like you got the killer instinct. I can't wait to see what the sands doing. Even in this situation. Fucking genius. He wrote, I let Ming go first and then find a new hubby. Yeah, all of a sudden, I'm single, ready to mingle, and I'm out there getting my fucking

knees bent back behind my ears while trying to let the 20-year-olds go at me. And I get to fucking pick a new husband. Yeah. That's the best possible answer. It really is. Your problem isn't that you were fucking in another universe gay. The problem is it was Ming. It's funny that you allowed Debbie to get killed in the slum.

You do nothing to stop it. Wait a minute, something just went out. Yeah, just like, go ahead and kill it. One, two, one, two. Yeah. Let it happen. I let that, I had to think about that one for a while. I was like, how do I address this if this was reality?

It's like, if I let him do it first, once he does it, he blips out of existence. Oh, he doesn't go to jail. He doesn't go to jail. He doesn't go to jail. He goes back to the reality he should be in. Oh. And then I don't do anything. I don't kill anybody. And I just go out and I fucking...

Yeah. I let... Start beating the town to rip. Yeah. I just let every fucking hot... Stonewall in. ... hard body fucking... Yeah.

Have at you. Have at me like... Why not? Why the fuck not, right? You only live once. I lived for fucking years with Ming. Yeah. He'd go to every fucking candle con on the fucking planet. I'd be to be alone every fucking weekend of the year.

Even this universe, it can't stop us. Tell him Steve, Dave.