Tell Em Steve-Dave - #656: The 2025 TESD Halloween Spook-STACK-ular!
Episode Date: October 27, 2025The guys welcome back special guest Will Rogers as they attempt to crack the greatest unsolved mysteries of TESD Town!...
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I know this because I've spent, you know, too many hours in this room with the Sasquatch.
The Sasquatch himself.
Wow, well, I can't tell you what the lines were like, because...
From a distance.
They didn't look pleasant, I can tell you that.
Why was she the gal for you?
Like, your celebrity crush.
I don't know.
I just...
I mean, she was so hot.
Yeah, that little bit of a square jaw.
It was just, yeah.
Wow.
Tell him, Steve, Dave.
Hello, and welcome to the Halloween edition of Tell him Steve Dave,
with all the scary, spooky dudes.
A cue.
It's a werewolf.
It's a werewolf.
Walt, what do you got?
Hey, how many Halloween's episodes have we done, you think?
15 maybe?
No, I don't think.
I don't know if we started right out of the gate doing them.
Oh, no?
No.
I know he missed the first year.
That is a lot, even if it's 14.
That's a lot to try to come back and be like,
what are we going to do this year?
Nobody wants to hear of Spangouli again, I found out.
Turns out that Spenguli's worn out as welcome.
That's wild because we've got to celebrate him all we can.
So he's not here today.
He won't be.
No, he will not be appearing on this episode.
No, in place of Spenguli, we've got Will Rogers.
Yes.
Sorry, everybody.
you'll love. Now, will you
help this out
on what Halloween episode? What year
was it? Was it? Twenty-two.
I don't know. That's what I'm saying.
They all blend together, man.
Yeah. Yeah. But the one that you
did was with
Sunday and get them
as Abinacostello. Yeah. Yeah. That feels like it was a long time ago.
I couldn't agree more. Yeah. Yeah. It really does.
That was a lot.
Getham's here, too. Yeah, getham's here. I forgot them
and get him.
I'm the miserable man.
Got a mic.
Got his mic all set up, he's ready to go.
Usually, before we get going, Walt,
with whatever you have planned,
we talk about controversial Halloween costumes.
Here we are.
So nobody will go out.
Because earlier I was talking to Will Rogers,
and he's like, I'm going out as a transvestite dead Charlie Kirk.
And I said, Will,
Will, hold on.
Hold on.
Let me read the list first,
and then you'll know what you can.
and can't dress up as number one ice agent yeah all right nobody wants you dressed up as it
can you even tell if somebody's dressed up as an ice agent aren't they all in like plain clothes
you got a vest that says ice got a vest yeah maybe all right insensitive they're saying they're
saying insensitive don't do it where you're getting this list from this year usually
it's good housekeeping good housekeeping did not update their list so i'm going with ranker this
year oh rancor's usually pretty reliable what is ranker it's it's it's
Exactly what it sounds like.
It's just a website that ranks different stuff.
26 of the most unusual Barbies,
14 extremely stupid dieting fads.
That's all they do.
They rank stuff.
It's just rank shit.
It's one of the most trusted news sources.
Is it really?
I guess.
They make a lot of bucks doing that?
They must have been around for a while and they have a lot of pop-up ads.
You don't have any adware?
Not on this.
Where do you have it then if not on that?
From my laptop.
Oh, okay.
My laptop.
Do you take your laptop out?
The other one I'm cutting for the show.
The only time I use it was I'm editing for the show.
Q, I know you were talking about busting out the blackface and going as P. Diddy.
Yeah, I thought it was.
You thought it was safe?
I thought it was.
I thought it was, I thought it was, I thought it was, no.
It turns out.
People are still upset with P. Diddy.
So it's not the black face?
It's the P. Diddy?
Okay.
Good to know.
The missing Epstein file slash guest list.
So I guess if you, like, took a piece of paper.
like a giant piece of paper
and wrote it down the list
and then where does it
costume?
They're stretching over at Ranker.
They are.
They're pulling that one out on number three.
It's the 45th list they had to make that day.
Yeah, there's only somebody
lists you can make.
But that could be a great couple's
costume because somebody could go as the manila
folder and then
your couple can again be the list and then
you know, you open up and then
the list comes out. Oh, you give people like a
marker and they can sign their name.
I don't know if anybody's going to want to sign
Or if you want to be a boldness or you just put your friend's name on it.
Yeah, right?
Yeah, there you go.
That's great.
Oh, zombie Charlie Kirk.
You don't want to go out as Charlie Kirk is a zombie.
I think it's too recent for people.
Yeah.
You also don't want to go out as the Charlie Kirk assassin, which I'm not sure exactly how you would do that.
Because the kid was very unremarkable in terms of looks.
Here's a weird one.
They're not even trying this year, man.
This is bleak.
Yeah.
Here's a weird one.
Ed Gein.
Well, he's back in the news.
Well, I saw that he has a new show.
show on Netflix and it was, uh, I was ready to watch it. I was excited and then I was told by
an extremely reliable source, fuck it. Why? It sucks. They gave him like a partner so that he
can kill people with his partner and stuff. It's like, he said it really diverges from the real
Ed Gein's story. Oh. And it was, I thought the whole point of these things was it was terrible.
Like, why do you have, why do you need to gussy up the Ed Gein's story? It's too boring.
We need a little flare on this one.
I don't get it.
It's really weird.
We need a diverse sidekick.
So for a Brian.
So for Brian Johnson, that's a bridge too far.
You don't want anything added to the actual story?
No.
I mean, you can fictionalize it somewhat because they have to.
You know, you can't just.
I'm sure his regular life is pretty boring.
You're curious when it comes to your serial killers.
Yeah, I don't like to see it dressed up and turned in the shit that didn't happen.
In my day?
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
Let me tell you something about the serial killers in my day.
I come from the 70s.
That's when serial killers was at that at its peak.
Yeah.
They didn't do it for fucking political reasons.
They did it because they were fucking nuts.
Yeah, they're like, this is going to be fun.
Today's serial killers are all about fucking rights or whatever.
So that's why it's been back in the news, though, is it.
because who did it, Netflix?
Netflix, yeah.
It was Ryan Murphy who had created American Horror Story and
Nip Tuck.
Oh, really?
I think so.
I think Nip Tuck was him too.
But yeah, he's, his whole thing is to sort of like make everything like music video
style, high energy, whatever.
So I don't know why.
I haven't seen it either, but it's really weird to be like, we're going to make
Ed Gein seems so awesome.
Wait a minute.
What?
It's, oh, that he's also not like a maniac.
He's, I think he's a maniac.
He's a maniac, but, like, he's played by an actor named Charlie Hunnam, who got, like, super buff for the role.
And I think there are tons of, like, my understanding is that there are, like, scenes of him, like, chopping wood shirtless.
Go on a guy on Sons of Anarchy.
Yeah.
Now, when you think Ed Gein, in the picture in your head, what is the picture?
A frail little old man.
Yeah, almost like that guy in the American Gothic painting with a hat.
Yes.
Not muscles and glistening skin, chopping wood.
They did that in the remake of the Omen.
And it was chopping wood.
It was Ryan Reynolds, I think.
Oh, Amityville Horror.
Amityville Horror, yeah.
And he's super, super muscular.
I guess he was, like, getting in the shape for a different role.
So he just happened to do this role in between.
And there's like one ounce of fat on him, maybe.
That seems genuinely scary.
That's like the best of that movie.
Yeah, easily.
Gabby Petito Walt, do you know who that is?
Oh, Gabby Petito. Gabby Petito. Refresh me. Just give me a hint.
She got murdered.
Oh, wait a minute. Is this the one that the dog said he was going to find her killer? She was a boyfriend.
It was the boyfriend. And the boyfriend went into this nature reserve and dog was like, I'm going to find him, bra.
And they didn't find him.
They didn't find him. They did eventually find him. He had killed himself.
Right.
Right. So you can go out as him, I guess, because he's not on the list.
That feels like it was so far in the rear of your mirror that how would you even like...
How would you know it was Gabby Petitia?
Yeah.
That has to be five years ago.
It was a while.
It was at least two summers ago.
I think it's more offensive for Rancor to even put her name as one of the...
They're not even trying.
Yeah.
They're just to get people to like lead something in the comments.
Yeah.
Maybe it is.
They used to be good at it.
They used to be able to really get you in a way where they're like these names.
nitpicky finger wagon motherfuckers.
Like, you know what I mean?
They really should go out of his way to be judgmental pricks that you could hate on.
Now, this list is just like, yeah, it's all kind of obvious.
Yeah, it seems sort of clear that you shouldn't be dressing up as a freed hostage.
I want to be told something that I can rebel against.
Not shit I agree with.
A freed hostage.
Nobody wants to see you dressed up as that.
No.
And Luigi Mangione.
Still.
Yeah.
Well, there's a lot of Luigi Mangione.
fans now. A lot of girls
that are like, oh, he's hot, that's good enough for me.
And people who are like,
I'm glad he fucking shot the guy.
Yeah.
Even Manson got married in prison, you know?
There's crazy's out there.
Oh, dude. Plus, this is like a good-looking
guy, too, so it's like it's much easier
to attract the ladies, I guess.
When I see stories on TV about
women, and some of them are
absolutely drop dead pretty.
Smoke shows. They're not, like, yeah, they're
fucked up in the head for wanting to have a
relationship with a killer or somebody who's in jail for the rest of their life and never
getting out and they marry them.
The way they talk about them, I'm like, I've been spoken like in my entire life.
Next, Rapture Doomsday Survive.
I think they're specifically talking about that woman and the husband who killed the kids.
I can't remember her name now.
She was a blonde.
Lori Day, I think it was.
Yeah.
So don't go as, I guess that's what they're talking about.
It has to be at least seven, eight years old now at this point, though.
Again, another old, like, story that people are like, who are you?
And they're just going with, like, bummer shit.
Like, this is, like, not feel good, like, controversy Halloween costumes.
Well, that's coming up.
Don't worry.
You're going to have some fun.
This is AI, right?
This is like, give me a list of 10 costumes.
Well, they have different votes on these.
I guess you're, if you're a member of rank,
you're allowed to go in there and
vote. Remember the days where you were like
not a toilet? Don't dress your kid up
like a toilet like that. Those
are the heights. Yeah, I got
dressed up like a fucking bag of garbage
I want to the garbage dump.
It's my mother.
Come out of here.
Happy Halloween, everybody.
Don't go as a bottle of Tylenol.
Oh. Oh, Lord.
Just get them. Did your mom take Tylenol
when you were young? I'm not sure.
All right.
Well, it would have been while she was pregnant with me.
That's one of the things where it's like, look, I understand if you are a Trump hater.
There's plenty of them out there.
But when he says don't use Tylenol if you're pregnant, it could cause autism.
I see women out like liberal women online, like taking Tylenol on purpose.
Even though Tylenol put out a tweet in 2017, do not take Tylenol when you are pregnant or don't take any of our products.
I didn't hear about this.
I thought you were talking about the whole, the Tylenol scare.
Remember the poisoning?
Oh, back in the 80s?
Yeah.
I was like, wow.
That's really going on.
reaching, yeah, that's older than Gabby Petito.
This one, I don't know why you can't go, is this?
Why would this be so offensive?
The cold-play kiss cam cheaters.
Don't you dare do that.
I guess it's don't.
That's a finger wagger right there, I think.
I think this is a tired AI drawn list.
Don't romanticize cheating maybe.
Is that what they're saying?
Who cares?
It's a sin.
You're going to stop people from cheating, but not dressing up as, what would you even wear?
I guess you would just like try to wear.
whatever they wore and then just be embraced
like, you know, the whole time like they were.
And then act embarrassed.
Sounds like a great night.
Sounds like a fun night.
Don't go.
For whatever reason, this is too offensive.
A poop crew survivor.
A poop cruise survivor.
Oh, okay.
I remember this.
Yes.
Oh, wow.
There's a whole bunch.
I'm not even going to go with everything.
I'll just go up to 15.
I kind of want to try an experiment here.
All right.
Let me go to chat.
Okay. Give me a list of 10 offensive. This is AI, right? Yes. So this is Q putting his finger to the masses. I'm going to use AI again.
I shouldn't wear in 2025. Wait a way. They hear what we got coming up. What Q's doing right now is going to be nothing to what thing is going to happen in about 20 minutes.
The lights are going to dint. I think the whole eastern coast is going to go. Brown out.
A tribe in the rainforest
Just went extinct
It says it's thinking long
All right here we go
All right
It's a
It's chat CBT is saying
Blackface
Any race mimicking makeup
Reduces people's identities
Prop
Holocaust indigenous regalia
Trans is a joke don't do
Trauma as costume
Victims suicides
Shooters
Terrorist stereotypes
Fake bomb vests
Fake ISIS
lose. Don't make fun of homeless people. Don't do
a hobo. That would have got me
in trouble back in that. Oh, yeah. That was
steep. Yeah, you got a bindle. You got a stick. You're all
set. Got your cigar and you like, but we had a
pork. We came from a generation
though, where the hobo was, you know,
was free. But it was
also, it was entertainment as well. I mean,
there were so many hobo characters. Yeah.
You know, which has gone the way
of the dodo. The hobo and the dodo.
It's not fair.
Now the hobos are no-no.
When did the hobo stop?
I had a hobo.
The Redskelton died.
Well, they don't go into specifics like the list does there.
It's all very general.
Yeah.
So maybe it's not.
Maybe somebody, and this might even be more depressing, took the time to write this list.
I disagree with the poop crew survivor.
I think it's funny enough that you could go with that, you know, fake shit all over yourself,
just as a captain or something, you know.
Works for me.
Don't go as Kanye West.
Yeah.
I need some swastikas.
Probably.
It ain't easy being easy.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, man.
You've been waiting a long time to bust that one.
What is that shit?
I don't even know what it means.
Like, don't go as a deep faked Barack Obama.
What?
How could you?
How could you do that?
As a deep faked, I'm trying to figure out what that would even mean?
What it means, yeah.
That has to be just an AI.
Because that just sounds like buzzwords.
Like, don't go as a deep fake or like an old man might say that.
not going to be a deep fake.
Oh, yeah.
Jonathan Rindernecked.
Now, don't go as him.
He's the guy that started the Palisades Fire.
And everybody knows what he looks like.
What the fuck, man.
That's all bad.
Jesus Christ.
Pressure's on.
All right, so that's it.
So now everybody knows if you had any of those costumes planned, you still have time.
We're doing this on the 20th.
You still have 11 days to come up with a good costume.
Nice. So many people just had to throw out so many costumes.
Oh, let's go as a deep-fick Barack Obama. Now what? It was my only idea.
Yeah.
Are you, you said you were not going to go in costume this year. Is that changed?
This year, it hasn't really changed. I mean, I have plenty of costumes that I could throw on at the last second.
Any engagements?
Well, every Halloween I go into Manhattan and, like, do the parade and stuff. My friend has a big Halloween party every year. I'll pop into that.
And you'll be attending?
I do a pop in every year, yeah.
You don't think that people will be, like, kind of, like, depending on that or, like, expecting you to come in, you know, as the straw that stirs, the Halloween drinks?
No, I don't think so.
No.
Like Heidi Klum, you've got, like, go on those, whether I'm there or not.
People, like, are waiting, and then when you walk in and you don't have a costume on, it's going to be, like, inflating.
I'll throw on the ghostbusters.
Like, again?
You see, fucking again?
Is he sleeping in that thing?
Brian, no reason to get dressed this year?
No, I'm going to, Pam is having a little party.
She always has pizza on Halloween, so I'm going there.
Sage is dressing up as something.
I'm not sure.
Oh, you know what Sage is going to be?
I can't remember it's some character she likes from some YouTube series.
I can't remember what it is, though.
Will it be something that, like, if she's out and about town,
people will be like, oh, I know who you are,
is it going to be? I don't think so. No. No. I think like little kids might know. I think it's
something from Roblox. So little kids and pedophiles will know. That's how you catch them.
What's that? That's how you catch them. Yeah. Yeah, it's such a weird platform, isn't it? Do you know a Roblox?
No. Yeah, that's what I read is that there's a bunch of adults on this kids game like fishing for little kids and shit. What's it called? Roblox.
Roblox. Yeah. I think it's like a younger Fortnite kind of notion. Like it's free to play so everyone's in there. Is it not?
I don't know. I thought it was. I thought there was. There's like a free. There's like a
free game so a ton of kids are in there and then yeah creeps kids and creeps yeah and you let her go on there no one that
well marybeth goes on with her all the time so in case something were to happen you know maribbeth is there
how does something happen though i guess it couldn't happen to her anyway because she can't read but like
they'll get involved in chats like people can chat to you there's like an open chat so okay so i can be
like hey you know how are you or what are you doing or how old are you or where are you
Any number of things
So yeah
She doesn't play on it alone
And even if she did
She wouldn't understand
If somebody was hit on her
And this is on YouTube
You play it
No no
This is
There's just on the internet
Some game
I did want to
I guess this is
I went to Universal
Epic
The Monster Land
Oh
I want to go
Dude it is good
It looks really good
I even tried to
Stump the guy
I go
I like a
big shot. I was like, I ain't you got a lot, you got a little coveted. I go, you have an
habitant Costello and me Frankenstein.
I'm not in this park anywhere. And he did and he showed me.
Really? Yeah. I don't want to, you know, I don't. He's like, oh, we got it. He goes,
I'll show you. What were the crowd or the lines like for that?
Well, well, I can't tell you what the lines were like because.
From a distance.
They didn't look pleasant. I can tell you that. Certainly I would have known.
I was going to know. I was going to.
I went on that Monsters Unleash right three times in a row.
The same guy was at the end of the line when I got off.
That guy would have made a wish fund trip, right?
He didn't last all.
I should have wished to be on the front of the line, I guess.
But is it well-attended, though?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Is it packed?
It is by far the most impressive and most loved section of that new part.
people were flipping that and the and the merch stores in there oh that's what i fucking excellent like they
somebody spent time it's a lot of love went into this and uh it's great it's great and they allow the
invisible man they have characters walking around they have frankincines monster and the bride and stuff
they allow the guys he goes he goes he's the only one that's allowed to be a dick to guests
the the visible man so go up to him and annoy him see what he does and that guy fucking unloaded on
he wasn't cursing and stuff like that but uh you know he was quite good
call me dim-witted oaf.
Said I dressed
like I live on the back nine.
He called me like shit like that.
So is he dressed with the images, the gauze
and the glasses? Yeah, and the hat.
They're all exact. They look
fucking great. Well, that gives me hope
that, you know, this, if this is
a success, that
will see them start to
seep their way back into
current culture. It seems to be the
one that people are most excited about it, is this
and it's by far, as
impressive as the other ones are it is the one it's the fucking one well and if you know those movies
well it's a feast for your eyes everywhere there's like remember frankenstein like in the background
there was that angel of death statue in the cemetery leaning to the side that's just like it's like
when they dig up that first body in the beginning of 1931 yeah oh and i don't remember that
it's they recreate that in granite like they have it carved like it is fucking cool dude and that's
in florida right florlando yeah universal yeah but it's a separate park oh it's a
Yeah, it's epic, Epic Universal. It's called it's like a totally different, but it's like nine minutes down the road for the first part. Oh, it's so good. Oh, it's so good.
My plan is to visit next, this coming summer. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I really want to do, just for that.
It's worth it. Yeah. It's worth it. Yeah.
So, Universal is, you know, trying to bring the monsters back to relevance. Relevance. And I think here at TSD is a perfect segue into an announcing.
We have a big new project that we're going to be releasing.
on Halloween.
And it's going to be on tellemstevedave.com, definitely, impossibly audible as it's our third
audiobook.
Oh, shit.
What was the first one was?
Fairy retail theater.
The theater.
Then it was, I think, small hands.
Fistful of dollars.
Fisful of dollars.
We have a little commercial.
You want to hear it?
Please.
Yeah, of course.
The war was always.
Over, or so the world believed.
Based on the graphic novel, War of the Undead tells the story of monsters
fighting to stop the most insane rescue mission in history.
Here are the feature-length audio drama.
A world of death awaits us.
Followed immediately by another feature-length parody, where each role is recast and miscast.
A world of death awaits us, dumbass.
Extras include a behind-the-scenes conversation about the making of the audiobook.
Who do you think is going to be the hardest character to find someone to voice?
Is it going to be just some guy playing a young kid as Wolf Fiener?
Is there going to be a 90-year-old maniacal evil Nazi?
A download of the complete graphic novel and an exclusive hour-long bonus pod of Tell Them Steve Dave.
You've fallen for a gal hard and think she could be the
one, but she reveals to you
she was demonically possessed as a child
and she had to have the demon exercised
by the Catholic Church.
I think I dated her already.
Except she wasn't exercised.
No, not at all.
War of the undead.
War of the undead.
On Audible and tellemstevedave.com.
Project Universal Black Egg
Initiated.
Wow, all right.
That was a nice segue.
So that is how many years in the making?
Easily two, two and a half?
Two years.
Wow.
Yeah, we wanted to roll it out last Halloween, but we ran into some snags.
And we run into some snags this year, too.
Audible has just been an absolute nightmare to deal with.
They keep blocking us and telling us we have to change this, that, and this.
So come Halloween, it may not be on Audible.
Because they are just making it ridiculous, right?
I've never, honestly, I've never seen anything like it.
I heard through the grapevine through you guys that Audible had been tricky in the past.
And I've produced a couple of people's, you know, audiobooks.
I have never worked this hands-on with trying to publish something brand new.
What a nightmare.
So I don't know if it's making it by Halloween itself, but it should be on Tellemstevedave.com for sure.
And Audible, I'm going to keep pounding it until it's there.
Five and a half hours, Q?
Crazy.
Our longest Audible book.
699 on tellemstevedave.com.
It's going to be more on Audible, though,
just because they're fucking playing games with it.
And plus they take so much of the cut, too, Audible.
Yeah.
But I wanted to get on Audible because, you know,
all our previous audiobooks are on Audible,
so it would be nice to have the third one on there, too.
And if somebody has the app, it's much easier for them.
Yeah, and maybe you have a free download that you have.
That's what I really was hoping for,
but, I mean, we'll see if it's on Audible.
But we look for it definitely on tellemstevedave.com.
And some of the performances by some of the Tesde Town residents are amazing.
Yeah.
Yeah, it really came out and knocked it out of the park.
I mean, everybody that you are hoping to hear is in it.
Yeah.
And then we have the original more serious, well, definitely serious version.
And it's just one of the most fun things I was able to be involved with was just hearing it come to life by voice actors.
voice actors from all across the globe.
Wow, man. That's, that's wild.
Yeah, wasn't somebody like in the Ukraine or somewhere, far away?
Somebody, our performer for Dracula was in Serbia.
Serbia.
And, yeah, no, we had to go.
I mean, we put out the casting call so that anybody could, we could just try to get the right person.
And then, I mean, the entire cast was really fantastic.
But I think the thing to me that is the coolest idea, I've never heard of anyone else doing this.
We produced, like, the serious, scary adaptation of the graphic.
novel. And then we were like halfway through recording that. And Walt was like, what if we did
another version where we like did the parody version of it and released them simultaneously?
I've never heard of somebody doing a serious thing. And then the, you know, making fun of your own
work thing. But it brought in everybody from Tell them Steve Dave. And, you know, hopefully
that makes it so that people out there, if you're not into audio dramas, but you are into
tell them Steve Dave, you still have a ton there that you can really get into. But I'm really
impressed just because I've never heard of anyone else doing this. Well, I mean, it was a product
solely done out of fear
because I'm like, people are not, I mean, what if
people are expecting yucks and people
are expecting, you know, to tell them
Steve Dave product. I mean, that's what
I was concerned about. Like, while it's awesome
and cool to hear the scary
version and done by real
voice actors, I did
fear that people would not come out
and support it, if not.
If it doesn't have Ming Chen.
Yeah.
And either way, you get two
different, and I think of them as like
audio movies.
which I've always wanted to make.
So you've got, like, two different feature-length audio movies of War of the Undead,
one that's dead serious and scary and one that is, you know, the airplane version, right?
Like, I'm thrilled with it.
I'm thrilled with it.
I can't wait for it to finally be out there.
And that's why I told Walt, and it's not a joke, I literally have dreams now of watching
the audible loading bar go all the way through.
They just rejected, like, four times running for, like, the silliest things.
Like, what's an example of a silly thing?
Like, because it didn't, we add a Will Rogers to the title, to the image that's the, that, the image that goes with the book.
And they said, well, you can't have that because he wasn't on the original book.
Yeah, they didn't like that.
So it turns out, like they're really, it's been a real picky moon and almost.
What do they care?
I'll try to make this as brief as possible because I could talk about this all day, but I know it's technical, technical and boring.
Audible does not let you put up an audio book by itself.
There has to be an e-book.
So we had to put the graphic novel up as an e-book, and the graphic novel I have nothing to do with.
So it's written by Brian Johnson, illustrated by Walt Flanagan.
And so you had made that logo that said Johnson Flanagan Rogers, which was cool to me.
But it also said, War of the Undead, the audiobook.
And then they hit us with, and it's vague.
They'll give you an error on the website.
They'll go, we cannot publish this.
We'll email you the reason why within two business days, which is crazy.
crazy. Which means that some AI bot is looking at it and then sending it to them to somebody
that click, deny or accept. And not only that, once they hit that first, like, throw it away thing,
they stop scanning the rest of it. So it starts from scratch every single time. So I was like,
all right, listen, who doesn't have an ego, but all right, get me out of there. Get me out of there.
Get me out of there. Get me off the logo. And then we submitted it again, and it kicked it back again
for the same thing. I think that it just needed to say Johnson at the top. So, well, we removed all the
names.
And for those who don't know or I'm familiar with the story, it's universal monsters, Nazis,
just an old school kind of vibe to it.
And I'm always thinking that the reason they're, they're kicking it back to us is like
swastikas or Nazis.
Yeah.
But it's not.
It's not those.
I always, I always jump to that, okay, they don't, they're not doing it because they're
scared of the content or whatever, but no.
At least not yet.
It's not done yet, Walt.
And we have a bonus pod, a bonus Tellm Steve Dave podcast.
It's been a while since we did a bonus podcast with an audio book.
We cut it recently, and it is one of our stronger bonus podcast, too.
It has nothing to do with the book.
It's just a standalone horror-themed podcast that came out really well.
It's a lot of fun.
I think people are really, really going to enjoy it, and especially it'll be out on Halloween, on tellmsteevdave.com for sure.
Great.
And then hopefully we'll be able to get the word out.
whenever Audible lets us put it there as well.
I'm very, very proud of it.
And they do the great job.
Breaking in with a super quick announcement
regarding the War of the Undead audiobook
and its availability on Audible.
So the book is up there right now.
Just search War of the Undead.
But they ignored our $8.99 price point
and instead made it 1999.
And they refused to adjust it
and they fall back on the fine print
that says they can charge whatever they want for a title.
I can't be bothered going through the hoops
to get the book removed or the price changed.
So it is what it is.
Maybe you have credits on Audible and maybe you want to use them on more of the undead.
And for those who don't, you can just go to Tellemstevedave.com where it's up now for just $6.99.
We are moving the release date up to October 26 today on Tellemstevedave.com since Audible
disregarded our October 31st drop date.
I really think you're going to get your money's worth on this one.
Really proud.
Really proud of this.
Really some absolute killer performances by the legit voice actors.
in the dramatic version, and some equally amazing performances by some very familiar names
in the Tesde Town version. There's a bonus TSD podcast that is one of our best bonus pods,
I think, and I reveal the whole motivation on creating this audiobook in a second bonus podcast
called Making of the War of the Undead audiobook. So I hope you pick it up. It's chock-filled
with shivers and chuckles. All right, back to the show. So this year's Halloween episode,
I got to tell you, the pressure, the pressure to come up with a new twist on Halloween is getting to me.
Really?
Yeah, it's like, worse than Christmas?
It's on par with Christmas now, you know, because now with Patreon, there's Halloween episodes that have to go there too because people expect it.
So that means there's like four Halloween episodes.
There's four Christmas episodes.
It's too much at this point, you know?
It's hard to keep coming.
up with a new twist on it and people do have expectations it's crazy you know like if it if it doesn't
meet their standards you know we've ruined the holiday that's i mean i don't want expectations
that's what happens when you take money but ruin the holiday well i mean the hollinois
episode's notoriously been free though yeah tell them steve dave so we're not taking money this is
just oh well what do you care because i don't want to ruin anybody's holiday i want i want i want people
to like it. I want people. If we're going to put the time and effort into it, certainly
you want people to enjoy it. And again, I'm flummoxed that we could trot out a Spenguli.
A guy who trends every Saturday, a Halloween icon. And people are like, yeah, no, I hope they
don't do Spenguli three. Yeah. That would be a catastrophe.
Do you think it's because there's no video? Like if you were, if you were on video, we did it on video,
would it be different? I don't think so. I think there's a certain.
A second man who are like, they're too, they're in that pocket where they don't care about the movies he's showing, don't care about his schick.
We tried to get Alvira this year, Q.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, she, we reached out to her and she responded.
To get him?
Not to get him.
To rub.
What did she say?
No.
Well, not her, but her management that politely declined.
Okay.
Our invitation to join us for Halloween.
So we were left scrambling for, you know.
Plan B.
Okay.
Hello.
And I called up a Will and I was like,
Plan B, Roger.
I was like, people loved that 20, 22,
23 or 24 episode you did with us.
Everybody seems so far away.
Gabby Petito, Will's Halloween special.
And I remembered that Will told me not too long ago that he does a podcast on
Unsolved Mysteries, where he covers old episodes, which just blew my mind because I was like,
that is fucking cool. I'd love to steal that. But you love that show, right? Yeah, I do. I remember
watching it growing up and just being perpetually scared. That was the music more than anything.
How old are you when this, when this debuts or in its heyday? Oh, by the time that I was watching
it, I guaranteed I was only watching reruns. I don't know when it originally aired or anything like that.
1887 to 2002
Unsolved Mysteries aired.
Nice right.
Oh, wow.
So, yeah, I was...
A big chunk, right?
I was, I would watch it, though, and just be, like, terrible.
Like, the big one that I always think of is that, if you remember it, the footage of somebody watching a house being burned down and whispering into the camera.
I don't think it's that one, though, because I went back.
I know you guys talked about that, like...
The hype.
The weepy voice killer or something?
Yeah, the weepy voice killer.
Now, this is a guy that's going like, I did it, Omar.
Yep.
Look at it burn.
Seen that one, too.
Oh, it's just so freaky.
And all of that...
Doesn't it fucked up, though, that they couldn't find...
Like, authorities couldn't find the house that burned down.
I know.
To me, that's Keystone cop shit.
There's only so many fucking fires that burn a house completely down.
Like, you could just...
Even if it's in another state,
I don't think it should take a TV show
to find out which house it was.
No, no.
I've been in a lot of burned houses,
and you can tell you're in them.
Like, you know where they are.
Yeah, the authorities in that case,
who is in California, right?
I think so, yeah.
And they could not find, because a kid found the videotape on the side of the road.
And he put the videotape in his cassette player, and it's some guy narrating and basically masturbating off camera to him watching a house that he says burnt down.
And he turns in the authorities, and the authorities like, we tried to locate where this house is.
We don't know where the house is.
So they gave it to Unsolved Mysteries, and they did find the house.
And it was in California?
I can't remember.
Yeah, I think he was in California.
I think so, and it turned out that this guy was, I'd heard it like multiple ways as a kid.
I heard that like, oh, it was fake.
Or I heard, you know, that the guy was a serial killer or whatever.
I heard it was a teenager.
It was a teenager.
He was an arsonist.
They eventually tracked down that he'd been setting like multiple, multiple, multiple fires.
And when the cops came to his house, he accidentally set his own house on fire.
And that was what let them go in and like find all the evidence.
Jesus Christ.
Just insane.
But, yeah, no, I always thought the show was like incredibly.
frightening. You know what I couldn't get behind though? And this might say something about me,
the reunions. Oh, I know. I skip those. I always wanted to be scary. I didn't want to be like,
oh, and then after 30 years, these twins reunited. Oh, I hated that shit. I was like,
oh, boring, man. One of them dies, one of them a serial killer. The like gentle, happy piano.
Two old men found each other. Yeah. Now, I consider it one of the creepiest shows in television
history. Do you guys have any affection for it, Q? I think at the base,
level that we all have it, you know, I've been in a lot of hotel rooms in my life and it's
always on somewhere. Yeah, so, you know, it's a great background show. I don't lean into true
crime as much as you guys tend to, only because I find a little bit too depressing after a while.
Like, my tolerance for it is very low. Well, that was one of the unique things about unsolved
mysteries was it wasn't just violent crime. It was also the UFOs. Yeah. Big,
foot. I'm with you. I've watched plenty of
of those episodes. Yeah, I just, I don't, I wouldn't be
as knowledgeable at it as you guys are. Yeah, that's where
you're right, Walt, it differs from forensic files and like, in as much
as forensic files is like dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead. Everybody's
dead. There could be some fun stuff and
still, like not be boring in, uh, unsolved mysteries like the UFOs and
like Bigfoot and stuff. Or just the reenactments.
So especially early on, they would have the people that were
involved in the mystery, do the reenactments themselves. So you get this
fun cheese layer of like, well, this person's not an actor, but she's got to pretend that she's
spontaneously bursting into flame.
Yeah.
Like, that's kind of neat.
That's fun.
Yeah.
And then some of them inspired horror movies, too.
Like, there's one that's relatively famous where it's, you know, this couple that's driving
down a road.
And then a huge van pulls up behind them speeding, like right on their bumper.
And then at the last second, the van just goes around them haphazardly.
And the couple keeps driving later down the road.
They see the van parked off on the side of the road.
And they just, as they're driving by, see the drive.
driver now outside the van dumping
an old bloody bed sheet
behind this old abandoned school
and the couple, it's
insane that this is, I guess, true
but they drive away, then they
end up going like, well, we should turn around and see
what he was doing. Like, no, no, no, you
keep driving. What are you doing? Before
cell phones, I guess. Yeah, oh, definitely.
But that entire intro
inspired the intro of the movie
Jeepers, creepers, which like,
however you feel about that movie, that
opening is almost shot for shot pulled from
Unsolved Mysteries.
Oh, with that, like, but with some of the old rusty thing that that guy's driving comes right on the school bus or something in Jeepers Creepard?
Yeah, he's like, yeah, the school bus is the second movie, but the first movie, it's Justin Long and his sister, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a scary beat-up truck. It's, it's identical. Unsolved mystery is like a horror movie on TV sometimes.
Now, did you know it's still going on? It's on Netflix right now. There's a revival.
Yeah, I saw the first season of it.
No host.
That's where they faltered.
I feel.
I think you need a host with a good voice.
Yeah, well.
Otherwise, it's just a regular crime show.
Yeah, that's true.
But the OG host, Robert Stack, where do you put his voice in the pantheon of narrators who could elicit the proper response?
Top five, if not top three?
That's a high mark.
Yeah, I think he's up.
He moves the needle all the way to creepy, right?
Just having his voice alone.
Just having him read something, yeah.
He wasn't the original host, though.
Do you know that Raymond Burr was the original host?
Was he really?
Yeah, for like one or two episodes.
Yeah, something like that.
Yeah, then Stack got the gig, and then he carried it from 87 to 2002.
Dennis Farina, I don't know who Dennis Farina even is, but he was the Spike version of Unsolved.
He would know his face if you saw it.
Yeah, he's an actor.
He was in Snatch.
ever see Snatch?
He's been in that time.
He said it was in a police show.
Oh, NYIP Blue?
No.
Oh, boy.
Yeah, but in the credits for the new Netflix one, they have like a little nod to
stack, right?
Like they have his vision, his image up in the opening credits.
Yeah.
They should just, I mean, this is one of those cases where, like, they should just do the
AI Robert Stack, let his estate, sell his voice.
No, no.
Find someone there's another voice out there.
I think there's another guy?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're saying crime story, midnight run, gets shorty.
Midnight run, he was great in that.
He's so, he's getting everything.
He was awesome forina.
Yeah, but he doesn't have the same voice.
Was he a Chicago cop for a long time?
Yeah, that's the thing, too, is that he's got that Chicago voice.
So coming up Robert Stack, which is like very deadly and down.
He's like, we got this other mystery over here.
It's a real brain teaser.
It just didn't have the same.
They didn't have the same way.
Yeah.
All right.
So tonight we are going to use unsolved mysteries.
the television show as our theme for the
2025 Tell them Steve Dave Halloween
Spuptacular. The premise is simple. You and Bride Q
will hear five mysteries tonight.
There are three questions per mystery that if you can answer
correctly, you'll get one point each for. The person with the most
points after the five mysteries
will be declared the winner. And
your winner is going to receive a free copy of the new
War of the Undead audio book.
All right. It's funny for a fan here.
So, Q, you're playing for Eric B. Peterson of Grand Rapids, Michigan.
Oh, lovely, lovely town. I love Grand Rapids.
Right, you're playing for Carrie St. Martin of Windor Locks, Connecticut.
Okay.
All right, do you want to play the intro?
Kind of get your feet wet before we get into the mysteries.
All right, here we go.
This program is about unsolved mysteries.
Whenever possible, the actual family members and police officials have participated in recreating the events.
Tonight on this special Halloween edition of Unsolved Mysteries,
we will explore bizarre encounters with crypted creatures, missing de-less celebrities,
alien abductions, ancient curses, and supernatural songs from beyond.
When three friends attend a summer camp reunion, they are hoping for a relaxing weekend in the great outdoors,
But for one of them it will be a weekend of horrors
when he is brutally and sexually assaulted
by the mysterious beast known as Bigfoot.
In a small town in New Jersey,
a man has certainly has heard a miracle.
When two mysterious songs inexplicably appear on his iPod,
he believes the songs to be heaven-sent.
When a little-known reality television personality goes missing,
his friends are baffled.
When a man learns his vasectomy is mysteriously reversed,
can the answer be found beyond the star?
and have ancient spirits cursed a man for discarding his trash on sacred Indian land.
Join me for these fascinating stories in the 2025 Tell him Steve Dave Halloween spookacular.
Perhaps someone somewhere is that one crucial clue that can solve a mystery.
Perhaps that someone is you.
I want to be there when Tom's wife is like, your vasectomy must have reversed.
I don't know how I got pregnant.
All right.
So before we get into the first...
So that was the AI recreation right there?
Well, that's just one of many AI recreations.
Sounds pretty good.
Yeah, that was a bitch to do, though.
It took a long time because you put it in text to speech
and you have to spell it phonetically, right?
Yeah.
So after a while, it became almost like soothing and relaxing
to try to figure out how to make the AI Robert Stacks say what you wanted it to say.
Wow.
It became almost like a puzzle.
And when you solved it, there was some sort of satisfaction to have him say,
how do you spell alien?
So he says alien.
Because he would say alien or alien.
It was just this weird way to do it.
And it became like a puzzle.
And like sometimes it would start speaking and then speed up.
And we cannot figure out why I would start speeding up.
Yeah, but it was challenging, but in a way, somewhat oddly satisfying when he would say what you wanted it to say.
Yeah, the first time.
Because we'd be sitting there to have him say a sentence.
It could take up to a half hour.
Oh, my God.
I'm so glad I didn't do that.
Extraterrestrial.
Things that Robert Stock has said, countless times.
Yes.
Couldn't say it.
Extra rea to arrest
What program were you using?
Just
That's the other thing.
It was this startup company
And we're like three days away from completing it
And the company goes out of business
And starts up another company
And then we have to look for another AI
Robberstack voice
And none of them matched the original voice that we chose
Because that one was the best one.
Yeah.
So we're like, just shaking our heads.
Like all the work we thought was down to drain.
but then we contacted the guy and he's like I'll see what I can do let me go to bed
he says I'll answer you tomorrow and once like what does that mean he's got to go to bed
I was pissed I could like pay 25 bucks for the membership yeah and then so yeah we would load it
and like it would be just like pending and be like come on come on it's process yeah is that AI it's
not just like taking syllables of things he said well I don't know what that is I guess I
It's kind of like AI.
Oh, very.
Yeah.
Because it has to figure out spaces and pauses and periods and commas.
It sounds like it didn't do a very good job.
Oh, you guys had to brute force.
But again, you had to solve the mystery, ironically, of how to make him say what you wanted him to say.
But then the better one we got, this one would let us say anything.
The one we were using it would let us say Robert, have Robert Stack say anything.
And then the other one that we tried was like, well, we can't say certain things.
Oh, yeah, like anything little dicey or...
Oh, really?
Not even dicey, but can maybe under a different prism,
seen through a different prism?
Sure.
I'm not going to have it say that.
Yeah.
But the one we used, like, we had to say shit.
They were like, well, we would never let him out here.
Yeah, the fun stuff to me.
The really fun stuff.
So we will...
Because he was like, your Robert Stack won't say that.
Oh, yeah.
So we will stop the story midway to allow you to ask
questions that you may or may not get answers to. After you wade in with your questions,
we will listen to a short update that will reveal what really happened. And I'll be keeping
score for Carrie and Eric. So the closer our questions come to the... You have to, you have a
point system. There'll be questions I ask you. There's three questions per story. If you get the
questions right, you get a point. Oh, okay. You're asking us the questions. Yeah. Okay. Yeah,
you're basically... No. You're going to hear a mystery. Yeah.
And then at the end of the mystery, they're going to say, how did this happen?
How did that happen? How did that happen?
Okay. You've got to solve those three things.
Okay. So we're guessing. It's not.
You can ask yes or no questions. We all know the answers.
There's clues in the stories.
There's clues in the stories.
Just like any mystery.
They're short, short mysteries.
All right. We'll give a shower. We'll pick it up as we go.
All right. Story one.
Unexplained encounters.
On the night of June.
21st, 2025, Getham, Steve Dave of New Jersey was attending his youth summer camp reunion.
He invited his two good friends, Johnny Law and Jimmy the Hair Guy, to join him for a three-day
weekend of outdoor activities and relaxation. For one of these three men, it would turn into a
weekend of terror. I had such warm and wonderful memories of my time spent at Camp Watanka that I just
wanted to share some of the joy that place gave me with my friends. The weekend started out with
fishing and outdoor activities, with everyone in attendance and enjoying all the tranquility
the campground had to offer. However, the tranquility would be shattered in the early morning
hours while the campers slept. It was nothing really unusual about that night. We had spent
the evening, sitting around the fire, drinking, and talking about our favorite celebrity
crushes. And then we all went to our cabins and went to sleep. Their sleep would soon be
interrupted by someone or something. So I was just sleeping in my cabin when I heard screams. Well, more
like shrieks. I ran out of my
cabin, found Jimmy in just a t-shirt
shaking and yelling
that he had just been assaulted by, and I
can't believe I'm saying this, a
big foot. Any question so far?
It seems like we're still in the fact-gathering
phase of it. I still don't even...
I guess we just found out that Jimmy the
Hair guys was assaulted by a Sasquatch.
Sexually. His pants were off.
Yeah, he was just in a shirt.
When you say just a t-shirt, he's
just in a t-shirt.
Screaming through the campgrounds.
All right.
Ready you going?
Yeah.
Jimmy was sharing a cabin along with Gidim.
The pair were sound asleep in bunk beds.
Jimmy had chosen the top bunk.
Yeah, there I was fucking sleeping,
when all of a sudden, I felt something heavy on top of me.
I opened my eyes, but there was so much hair.
All I could see was hair.
Then I heard it say, Kathy.
Who the fuck is Kathy?
I can feel this thing's hard.
hot breath in my face and then all of a sudden
I felt something wet trying to force its
way in my mouth.
Whatever was on top of Jimmy was highly
aroused. You ain't fucking kidding
Stack. That rumor about having
big feet is absolutely true.
At least with this thing, I can
attest to it. Okay, we stopped it again.
Yeah. And now you've got a little bit more
of the mystery. Yes.
I mean, it's going exactly
how I thought it was here.
No shocker yet?
So far Jimmy, he got rolled on, he's got a
Now fucked by Bigfoot.
This is all checking out.
What'd you think it would have gone any other way?
No.
Why won't they let Robert Stack say that?
It was a nice touch having Jimmy interact with Robert Stack,
by the way.
It really made me laugh.
You got that right, Shaq.
So it spoke.
The creature spoke.
Yes.
So, Kathy.
Kathy.
Yes, good, good pickup, Q.
Oh, thank you.
Good pickup.
Thank you.
Okay.
Anything before we go on?
This will probably be it.
Yes, and then you'll have, I'll ask you to three questions and you'll have to answer them.
The hairy intruder used his massive book to immobilize Jimmy, but in a last ditch effort, Jimmy was able to wiggle himself out from under the immense weight that had pinned him and made his way out of the cabin.
That was where Johnny Law found him.
Jimmy was hysterical.
All around his mouth with his long, coarse hairs.
It was obvious what had just happened to him.
I guess we probably should have taken him to a hospital and got him checked out,
but I really wanted to get in some early morning fishing.
So I just went back to my cabin and went to sleep.
Jimmy eventually would make his way back to his cabin,
where shockingly get him Steve Dave was still sound asleep.
He had managed to remain asleep through the entire incident.
Yeah, well, I probably had way too many nanny datties,
and when that happens, nothing was waking me up.
What actually happened inside the cabin that night,
did the legendary creature sometimes known as the Bigfoot
attempted to take Jimmy the Hair guy as his human bride?
Why did the creature call out for a Kathy, or was it all a bad dream?
I'm telling you, guys, it was Bigfoot, and he wanted to have hot, hairy sex with me.
Ah, Johnny!
Ah! Get off!
Get off!
Get off!
Bravo!
The word put it in.
paid off. The background
chatter, the music, it's
well done. How long did it get us to say
have it to say Bigfoot? Just even saying
Bigfoot was an absolute
pulling teeth.
Wow. Yeah. It kept going Big Phutt.
Yeah. Oh, my God.
Who does this fucking program, but can't say foot.
And there was times where, like, he would be
like he would try to change it to another word.
Yeah. But as the writer, I was like,
I will not allow
the fucking machine to beat me. I would
say. I was like, we will sit here all
fucking afternoon until it's fucking
right. And he would be going, and he'd be going, well,
this works. And I was like, what else do you
got to fucking do? I said, we will sit here
for four hours. So it says, Bigfoot, I said.
I don't give a fuck.
I don't give a fuck.
It was fucking
a challenge at times. But when
it worked and when he said it
properly, it was like
your team scoring a goal. Even after
hearing it 13, 14 times, you'd still get a laugh.
There's still, yeah, there's still a part you'd still get a laugh out of.
All right.
To both of you.
Question one.
Was it Bigfoot to attack Jimmy?
If not, who was it?
Brian Johnson.
I mean, it sounded like it was Bigfoot.
You're going to say it's Bigfoot?
I'm going to say it was Bigfoot, yeah.
Okay.
BQ, same question to you.
I'm going to say it was a sleepwalk and get him.
Sleepwalk and get him.
Yeah.
Now, Brian, why do you, why do you say Bigfoot?
Because they said it was Bigfoot.
Didn't he say it was Bigfoot?
There's a big hairy guy on top of him.
Robert Sacks had something about Bigfoot.
Now, I know you're injured.
You're dealing with a backpack.
Are you hopped up on drugs that you think it's really fucking Bigfoot?
Unless Gabba Penton does it.
So I'm supposed to guess who really did it?
I thought this is all part of the story
I'm not sure I understand
I'm not sure I understand
The first one's always a learning part
Yeah
Okay yeah we start off slow
All right
Question two
Why did the beast
Call out the name Kathy
BQ
I'll go with you first on this one
I think Gidham was having a dream
about
Some old camp counselor
or camp-related person
and in his sleeping state
because Jimmy at one point says
long hairs surround in his mouth,
that sounds like Gettom's beard to me.
Okay.
So you say it was an old camp counselor.
Or an associate or, yeah, someone at the camp.
Someone that get him new at the camp.
Someone named Kathy at the camp.
Yeah.
You're putting that under Johnson's.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry, bro.
Good eye.
You don't want to be under my score.
someone at camp okay Brian who was who was why did the creature call out for a Kathy
that's what I was going to say with somebody at camp but now I'm going to say um I'm going to
say that Jimmy imagined it it never actually happened oh okay imagination now
when you says it I the real answer when it's revealed I the real answer when it's revealed
I thought it was common knowledge
It may not be though
And it may just be because I've heard this from
I know this because I spent
You know too many hours in this room
With the Sasquatch
The Sasquatch himself
I thought this was common knowledge
But it is a poll but
I mean was it the name of the woman that he married on our show
No
All right
And question three
What instigated the attack
Brian Johnson
Jimmy's scent
Jimmy scent
Oh yeah
Hmm
I'd say it's
I mean he's Jimmy the hair guy
I'd say his long beautiful hair
His hair
Almost feminine hair
Okay
It's tough for you guys
Because you're listening to it
You know
If you had a longer time to study
Yeah
The file
You may come to a different conclusion
He's trying to say you're wrong.
You wouldn't say it was that as much.
You wouldn't have said anything you just said.
That's okay.
We're learning.
You're warming up.
Yeah.
By story two, you'll have this down.
Okay, great.
Let's hear from Stack.
Update.
Soon after this segment was recorded,
get him Steve Dave, upon further recollection,
confess that all the talk the previous evening of celebrity crushes,
along with a combo of nattie datties at the bonfire,
created a booze,
and blue balls bolstered.
palking mishap. Gidim theorized that in the midst of a particularly graphic sex dream of his long-time
celebrity crush Kathy Ireland, he must have begun to sleepwalk. Giddle would have climbed into the
top bunk and attempted to make out with Jimmy, who Gaitam most likely mistakenly presumed with
Supermodel Kathy Ireland. This would explain Giddlem bellowing out the name Kathy in the throws of the
attack, all perpetrated by a completely and soundly asleep Gidim's Steve Dave. Jimmy the
hair guy to climb to press charges and even agreed to attend the reunion the following year,
as long as he could bunk with Johnny Law.
All right.
Now I get it.
Now I get it.
Okay.
I can't tell you how comforted I am that Gettam was just trying to make out with Jimmy.
That makes it.
That makes such a huge difference.
I'm sure I've heard it somewhere along the line with Kathy I really did.
Did you know that was a celebrity crush?
I didn't know.
I don't know.
Isn't she like 80 at this point?
In the 90s, though, that's when he had the crush, though.
Now, you may be at a playing with one hand tied behind your back.
Sure.
Because you don't know maybe some of the people involved in these stories as...
I didn't do too bad.
No, you actually have no point.
But going forward, you might not know the nuances of everybody who...
Well, no detective knows all the facts when he starts solving the crime.
You know what I mean?
it's okay. As long as you're getting, your
opponent's going to say, I think it was Bigfoot.
You're doing great.
Well, you didn't know,
he didn't know the spirit of the
like, you know, you didn't know
that that's not. I didn't know. It could have just as
easily gone in that direction. To be fair,
they don't usually put two detectives on
the case to see who's smarter.
All right,
so back to question one.
Was it Bigfoot, it was not, who attacked
Jimmy, if not who was it?
A sleepwalk and get him. That is one big
point for Q. Yeah. Good
work, Q. Thanks, pal. Brian,
it was not Bigfoot. It was not Bigfoot himself.
Why did the beast call out the name
Kathy? Brian
said it was his imagination, right?
Yeah, I said he must imagine it.
Okay, it was not his imagination.
Q said it was somebody
at his camp that he remembered.
Incorrect.
Remember in the story early on,
we mentioned that they were talking about their celebrity
crushes and drinking.
Yes.
Okay, that's good.
That's a great clue.
Yeah.
There's clues all over the place.
Okay.
You just got to open your eyes.
From the moment you arrived.
Two steps without hitting a clue.
The moment you arrived at the studio, the game started.
It's fucking jigsaw.
Everyone was darn locked when I walked in the room.
Do you remember we met outside today?
Yeah.
All part of the game.
I wasn't just getting to.
It was pointless, too, because you walked out, walked to the right, stopped, turned around and went
back inside. There was no point for you to be out there.
I left the clue out there. I was throwing
out my water bottle.
Question three was
what instigated the attack and it
was the booze
at the bonfire and
Gidham's blue balls. Yes.
You know, he had the nightmare. Well,
the dream wasn't a nightmare. It wasn't a nightmare.
Jimmy had the nightmare.
Now, you haven't revealed on
an episode that you loved Kathy Ireland
growing up. You had all the posters?
Oh, yeah. They're right over there, actually.
And why was she the gal for you?
Well, like, you're a celebrity crush.
I don't know. I just...
I mean, she was so hot.
Yeah, that little bit of a square jaw.
It was just, yeah.
Wow.
Not the tautas or the hair.
But just small.
Square jaw on that.
She was like Bert Lancaster.
Almost like a manly jaw.
Distracted me from the tits.
how old is she
62
62 she still looks good
she looks great
it looks great
yeah
but I
my mother would get me
a Kathy Allen
calendar every year
for Christmas
remember when she was
wasn't she one of the
the beer girls
for once
oh yeah I got
when you used to be able
to walk into the supermarket
and see if like a really
stunning
good looking girl
next to a beer
like a cardboard cut out
well they knew how to market beer
yeah
it was it was a bud
but my mom
that was my mom
worked at a bar
so the bar
the lady who on the bar
would let her bring home all the beer posters.
Doesn't Dylan Movene have a nice
square jaw to?
Yeah, he does.
As a matter of fact?
Who?
Is that one of the guys I can't go as Halloween ass?
Don't you have his calendar too?
Or her.
Sorry, her calendar.
We nearly got canceled.
Thanks.
I didn't know who you were talking about until you made that joke.
And then I was like, oh, okay.
Oh, now, yeah.
Is that the right name, right?
Dylan Mulvaney.
Oh, well, vaney.
Okay.
I said Mulveen.
Close enough.
She's an actress.
She'd escaped from L.A., necessary roughness, a loaded weapon one.
Do you have a thing for gingers?
Usually?
I think she's...
It's Kathy Island's a ginger.
No, she's more of a brown hair.
I thought she had a little bit of red.
She was like honey blonde, like...
Yeah.
Sun-kissed.
You know, I struggled to use this as one of the clues because I said to get him.
I was like, have you mentioned this?
Do the guys know that you love?
And...
I swore I had.
you know, at pleasure yourself to
Kathy Arlington. Do they know this?
And you're saying you guys really didn't know, though.
If I did know, I have no recollection.
The guy who I should ask was the curator.
I'm like, do you know who get him jerked off to
when he was in a tour of the news?
Maybe I should send it at two in the morning
in other context.
Maybe I should have hung up some of those posters over there.
Oh, that would have been a nice one.
That would have been a escape room shit.
Like the usual suspects or something.
All right, Brian.
So now you know how the game's playing, right?
Now I know, yep.
It usually takes me one round and then I got it.
Yep, you got it.
All right.
So you don't have any excuse now, though.
I know.
You shouldn't have said that.
Was it a sask question?
See, now going forward, that's why, when we're going to stop it,
because you can ask questions.
Now I understand.
Because I feel like Brian, because he has been on more of the Patreon episodes
where we showcase more of the supporting cast.
Okay.
Where he has heard and things have been revealed about them that you maybe were never privy to.
So, like I said, you're fighting with one hand tied behind your back here.
So you can ask the questions.
Still wedding, though.
So if you win, I look like a real asshole.
Oh, there she is.
Look at it.
There is.
Why do you have the posters here?
Because they were in my Jeep.
Because this is where he lives.
Yeah.
I'm shocked they're not on the wall.
They were in my Jeep and they were getting damaged.
So I brought them in here to put them in a tube.
Still not in the tube.
I'm still not in the tube.
It's progression.
All right.
Let's hear a clip of story, too.
Missing Persons
Ming Chan, nicknamed the Maverick,
starred on the TV show Comic Bookmen for seven seasons.
By all accounts, he was a vivacious and cheerful person who loved the spotlight.
So it was understandable that all who called this lovable Sprite friend
were concerned when all contact with Ming suddenly stopped for over a year.
Comic Book Men co-star Walt Flanagan recalls when he first noticed Ming had disappeared.
I thought I was coming in to talk about the poop joke or the rent fiasco.
I didn't realize you wanted me to talk about Ming being missing
because I really didn't even notice he was missing.
Should I just say I was really concerned?
Yeah?
Okay, I'll say that.
I was concerned when Ming went missing.
Before Ming went missing, he was on quite a role
with a TV show seen by over a million viewers a week.
Ming decided to start a podcast with his comic book
man castmate Michael Zapsic.
Walt Flanagan recalls how the pod started.
Yeah, I recall I suggested in an absolute moment of jest that Ming and Mike should start a podcast.
The joke being that they were both insufferably boring, I can't say they proved me wrong,
but they did wind up doing over 100 episodes, so yeah, I guess.
With a television show a number one rated podcast in the visual arts category,
Ming Chen had conquered two mediums and set his sights toward a third,
the little-known world of comic book conventions.
These conventions, held on weekends all over the country,
featured mostly forgotten celebrities from long-canceled shows,
charging symptoms outrageous amounts of money for selfies with fans,
some of which who most likely regretted spending the inflated prices just minutes later.
With a TV show, podcast as well as being a featured guest at these conventions every weekend,
it was an intoxicating time to be Ming Chen.
Overlooked for basically his entire life, Ming, was now quasi-ce celebrity,
with people paying just to take photos with him.
Ming was said to be giddy about his newfound fame and took every advantage of it.
The guy would go to every con, no matter how small.
No one could figure out how he wasn't losing money at the end of the day going to all these cons.
I don't think it mattered to him, though.
Things were going so well.
Ming along with his co-host Michael Zapsic even opened up a podcast studio.
They called it a shared universe.
But things soon started to go south.
Yeah, things got a little testy between Mike and Ming
when it turned out they were paying rent to a guy
who didn't even own the building.
These guys didn't even sign a lease.
It really was a clown show, to be honest.
With their pride hurt,
Ming and Mike attempted to put the embarrassing debacle behind them
until growing resentments from Mike began to fester
due to Ming being out of town constantly for every two-bit con that would have him.
oh yeah i would hear from mike he was not too happy he felt ming was way more concerned with his
convention appearances than the studio things would come to a head with a good-natured but ill-advised
joke tweeted by ming on x oh boy i wasn't working at the station at the time when ming tweeted that
but i could only imagine how furious mike was when he saw that ming had tweeted that mike had
defecated on the convention floor of the new york comic con it was an obvious joke but by all accounts
Mike was a notoriously thin skin bitch
who would certainly be boiling
after being the butt of such a joke
in addition to the rent fiasco
and Mike's belief Ming had neglected
a shared universe studios
made Mike a suspect regarding Ming's disappearance.
I thought it was hilarious.
It was such a stupid joke.
How could anyone possibly get upset
at such an outlandish, obvious joke?
It was soon after that all contact with Ming
came to an abrupt halt.
Okay.
All right.
So you can ask a couple questions.
I don't know if I can answer them.
But anything stands out from that clip?
I mean, the real purpose of the clip stands out.
Pretty glaringly.
I mean,
it's been so long.
I'm going to take it to get Robert Sack to say Zab Sick.
First try.
Oh, really?
First try.
Really?
Yeah.
The words that we were like,
oh, fuck, he's never going to say this.
Then he'd knock him out of the park.
Depakate it.
First try.
First try, you got it.
Words like, you know, you'll see or hear some weird words come in here.
like Ming was a lovable Sprite.
Sprite was not the word we wanted to say, but at a point, he wouldn't say the word that I had written.
So we had this alternate a different word that he could say.
I thought Sprite was genius.
When you sent that to me, I was like, this is the perfect word choice.
He's a lovable Sprite.
No, after like an hour of the original word, not going through it, or just like, fuck it.
Just come up with a different word for, you know, small.
Oh, it was imp, wasn't it?
I think it might have been in.
Yeah.
He wouldn't say imp.
Right.
Yeah.
So we go, like, what's a sin and imp for?
Sprite's good. Sprightly.
All right. So.
Well, the clues that I, you know, it's a lot of talk about Ming disappearing,
opposed to people just not noticing that he's around.
So to me, you know, my, you know, who reported the missing?
We're about to find out.
I can't answer that.
Okay.
It will be answered in our next clip.
Got you.
That was my question.
All right.
Let's hear the next clip.
Friends and family placed call after call in desperate hopes of reaching Ming.
The calls to his phone would be answered by a mysterious person claiming that the number was no longer attached to a Ming Chen.
Brian Nashel, the director of comic bookmen for all seven seasons, recounts what happened when he frantically attempted to call Ming.
Yeah, I called Ming one day, but I really wouldn't say I was frantic.
But anyways, yeah, some guy named Mark answered.
He said he was from something called Jersey Coin Showcase and that this was no longer Ming's number.
I kind of shrugged it off and basically forgot about it.
So I'm not sure how you get frantic from that.
We called Ming Chen's phone number and also reached a person by the name of Mark.
He refused to answer any of our questions on camera regarding Ming,
but insisted we come to the big jersey coin showcase Halloween blowout sale,
where he boasted he would be selling almost brand new podcast recording equipment for pennies on the dollar,
as well as high on denim jeans at dirt cheap prices.
Mark bemoaned that these lucrative jeans were wrong.
only available in children's sizes.
This coincidence would have it,
Ming Chan was often seen, wearing child-sized
expensive denim jeans.
Okay. Now, this is where
I don't know if you are familiar with
Jersey Coin Showcase or Mark.
I know we've referenced them here.
He runs a store
in the Plaza, in the airport
Plaza. I got that. It's kind of like
a place where you can almost buy anything.
They'll buy, I wouldn't call it a pawn
shop. Yeah. But it's
gold, silver, coin, stuff.
like that.
Comic books.
But that he has, yeah, he's got topics, pops, jerseys.
He'll buy anything and try to flip it.
Okay.
Okay.
Just to give you.
And also listeners who aren't on a Patreon, they might not be familiar with Mark
from Jersey Coin Showcase, too.
Okay.
All right.
Brian, you're familiar with Mark?
Yeah, yeah.
I know Mark.
Okay.
You did an episode of Brian Tries on him, so I kind of figured you know.
I remember that guy.
It's been over a year since Ming Chen went missing.
It is important to note while being the butt of the poop joke as well as numerous perceived slights regarding me,
Mike is not a person of interest, nor interesting.
It is also important to note that his family has never reported Ming missing to the authorities
and when asked to be a part of this show, a family spokesperson responded with a simple message.
We good.
What happened to me, the maverick Chen, was he addicted to fame?
Did he run away to live the comic book and life?
or did an angry former friend and business partner exact revenge for a harmless poop joke
who is this mysterious mark from jersey coin showcase who answered ming's phone
wow and all the clues are in there huh all the clues are in there if you could put it together
yeah maybe we should have brought troy in on this one huh yeah it's tough like it's tough to remember
everything and try to figure out like what the clue is supposed to be sure yeah
I have a theory.
Okay.
You want to hear your question?
Sure, yeah, yeah.
Question one.
Was Mike involved in Ming's disappearance?
No, I don't think he was.
Okay.
No, Brian?
No, I don't think so.
Okay.
Guys are on the board.
All right.
Nice.
Okay.
Question two.
How is Mark from Jersey Coin Showcase involved?
I think if my theory is correct, that
he was the landlord that they failed to get a rental agreement with.
And another thing, I wasn't sure if you were aware of that, you know, Mike and Ming opened
this podcast studio in Red Bank, though.
Yeah.
And they didn't want, they, they were paying rent to a guy that didn't even own the building.
Yeah.
The guy who lied to them and said he owned the building and then they were paying rent to him,
no lease or anything.
I didn't know that.
That's shocking.
It was behind 35, like, next to where the barbershop was.
It was like that old fire.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
So what was the question again?
How was Mark from Jersey Queen's showcase involved?
Okay.
I see now.
I would say that the person who owned that building took all the stuff and sold it to him.
Okay.
That's good detective work.
That is a good deduction.
It's really weaving a story together.
It's not right, but it's really intelligent.
Yeah, go ahead, Brian.
I got to follow that up.
How is Mark involved?
Still intelligent, though.
How is Mark involved?
I think he stole Ming's phone.
Do you think he stole Ming's phone?
I think he stole Ming's phone.
When Ming came up here one time and Mark was here, I think he lifted it.
Okay.
And you also stole his jeans off his body?
He might have.
He might have just robbed his car.
I'm sure that's what Ming's living out of.
Renter's soul to Mark.
Okay, that was cute.
All right.
And your final question.
Yeah.
What actually happened to Ming, Brian Johnson?
He hasn't been seen in a year.
Yeah.
I think he ran away from home.
I think he just took off for good.
I think he was like Robert Stack said.
Okay.
I think he wants to chase the limelight.
I don't think Ming is missing.
I think nobody just notices that he's around.
All right.
Yeah.
That's pretty good.
I think he's here somewhere.
It might be in this room.
Let's hear Stacks.
update update on the night of our broadcast mingham called into our phone center to let us know
he was alive and well he informed us that in an effort to remain on the con circuit he had begun
to offset the travel costs by selling off a shared universe studio equipment and even personal
items like his iPhone to a local pawn shop called jersey coin showcase with a mystery man named
mark was employed here is a message from the maverick himself hey everyone sorry i went offline
there for a while, but I was so
touched when I saw the segment
devoted to finding me on unsolved
mysteries. The life of a
Comic-com personality can be tricky.
Maybe you hit a stretch
where you sell 50, 8 by 10s at one show
and you're on top of the world.
And then, you may hit
a dry spell and maybe you only sell five
at the next four shows.
That's when you've got to get creative and think
outside the box.
Long story short, I'm fine.
And I'm sure I'll be at a con near you,
soon. So please, please, come out and buy a sign photo of me.
Who knows? Maybe even Mike will be there, and then maybe you can see him shit on the
con floor again.
Only kidding. Mike did not shit on the con floor.
All right.
Wow.
Foof.
Going back to our questions.
Was Mike involved in Ming's disappearance?
You both said, no, you both get points.
Right.
How was Mark from Jersey Coin Showcase involved?
Right, you said he stole all the Ming's stuff.
And Q, you said, the renter from Red Bank, you know, took their stuff and sold it to Mark.
Turned out that Ming was just off selling all some stuff just to keep attending cons as some of the sales were a little light to remain on the circuit.
That's the way to save money.
Spend it all on going to a cut.
Well, if you noticed in the testimonial, Walt said, I don't know how he was affording it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's good.
That's good.
There's clues.
It's all throughout that.
It's tough to listen to it once, trying to get all these clues.
Plus, the pressure of, like, I don't want to sound as stupid as I sound me.
There's big for it again.
And what actually happened to Ming?
You both got that wrong.
You said he, well.
I said he was missing.
You said he wasn't missing.
It's an interpretation.
I took that you were right.
Yeah, thank you.
What was Bryce's answer?
I think Bryce said Stack was right.
He was like chasing the limelight.
Yeah, he did say that.
Which is also kind of true.
They're both sort of interpretations of he's not missing.
Yeah.
I would say that.
Generous.
Nice.
Thank you.
Happy Halloween.
I had this.
I'll pull the curtain back a little.
I had a much bigger role for Mark from Jersey Coin in this,
from Jersey Coin Showcase, so much so that he.
He was going to be much more in a way that it would be clearer what happened.
Okay.
But we found out that Mark is no longer.
Well, for a while, he was...
Let's just say he's not at a liberty to be recording any...
Let's say I read about him in the newspaper, which I actually did.
I saw it in New Jersey Patch.
Yeah.
It was a lot upset.
Oh, boy.
I can't wait to hear about this.
Yeah.
Yeah. Can we also talk about the rent situation? Because I'm so curious about how that's possible and how they found out how long they were paying.
Oh, how Mike and Ming were paying rent to a guy who didn't know in the building. I think that the rent was so cheap that it was too good to be true, so good that you're like, let's not ask questions.
If I recall quickly, Rob Bruce also had an office in the same building and was victim of the same.
So who owned the building? Like, how is any of this even possible?
I think a guy on the building and he had a friend, like watching it or something, yeah, managing it.
And so this guy was just like, yeah, it's like like just some guy on the sidewalk was like, hey, I own this building.
Yeah, that was, yeah, I, we found out Mark was going to be not available at the, you know, and I was like, I can't scrap this story now.
We had done so much work on it with stack and everything that I was like, there wasn't a,
money and petty cash for bail.
There you go.
All right, so would an updated score,
BQ, you have three?
Brian has two going into our third story.
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All right back to our second mystery.
Throughout history people have claimed to hear divine music, from heavenly choirs to mysterious voices carried on the wind.
But in 2024, one New Jersey man claims he experienced this phenomenon in the most unlikely of places.
On one of his iPods, 56-year-old cult podcaster, Sunday Jeff enjoyed listening to his tunes on his iPod.
But one morning after sinking one of his many iPods, Jeff discovered something unusual, two mysterious tracks that seemed to appear out of nowhere.
So believe it or not, I have multiple iPods.
I have a big music collection
and all my music I got the old-fashioned way.
It's all from RIPP CDs.
I don't go online and buy music
because what if an old song
all of a sudden needs to be censored.
Well, guess what?
I still got the uncensored versions.
Stopping for you.
That has to be real, right?
This is one of his many manifestos
about why he has seven iPods.
I don't know if you were aware of that either.
I was not aware of that.
Yeah, so the man has seven iPhones.
And the reason he tells me is because he's terrified that, you know,
a song is going to get censored and the original version will never be available to.
George Lucas really fuck this guy up, man.
George Lucas fucked this guy up.
Oh, man.
His whole life is a reaction to the special editions.
His entire fucking life.
He was mad because they recensored the French connection.
Oh, yeah.
On his streaming service.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
What they censor?
It was like the N-word
Didn't they pull the N-word out of his head?
I knew it with that fucking cat
with bird feathers
all around his lips.
Oh, really?
What word did they take out?
Say it.
Come on, Papa.
Don't get me started.
Okay.
Anyways, so one day after syncing my iPod,
I see these two tracks pop up.
Track one and track two.
No other information.
No title, no album art, no nothing.
I was like, what's this?
How'd these songs get on here?
Curious Jeff Press play on the puzzling songs
and what he heard left him in a stupor.
It wasn't just music.
It felt otherworldly.
The hairs on my arm stood up.
I thought, maybe this is what angels sound like.
It was very wondering.
No one could explain the origin of the tracks.
Some experts suggested corrupted files.
Others even claimed Sunday may have stumbled upon a hidden broadcast signal from heaven.
Sunday was convinced he was listening to something beyond human creation.
Voices of angels captured somehow and delivered to him through his iPod.
I'm not a religious guy by any stretch,
but there was something about these songs.
Now, this part is really weird.
I played the songs for my daughter, who was home from college,
and she thought the songs were from heaven, too.
She started laughing and said,
Yeah, Dad, these are definitely unknown songs that only exist on your iPod.
Any questions before we go on to the final part of the story?
What did the song sound like?
What does that heavenly noise?
You will hear a clip of both songs in the next segment.
Okay.
Which will probably, you know, be a major factor in solving this mystery.
I have a theory.
I have a working theory.
Brian, you have a working theory?
Nope.
All right.
I need the end.
I'm really halfway through.
Here it is a theory.
Yeah.
What's your, what's your theory?
Before, like, all the facts.
You want to give it away?
Well, he doesn't want to give away his theory and have Bryce steal it, right?
Well, you know, he's went on the on the system.
It's up to you.
You tell me.
You want me to write something down?
Go ahead.
You get to say it out loud then.
It's okay.
Well, let me ask a question.
Is Chris Ladando involved in this story at all at any point?
That's what I was wondering, too.
Really?
He is not.
He is not, but why would you mention him?
Because when you two put those fucking songs on the iPod, he was losing his mind about it.
Yeah, he got all upset.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, I remember.
yeah so we did a trial about it yeah there was well okay trial by fire that's that's the direction
I'm going into I there was a clue earlier okay to how those songs got on that iPod and it links into all
that no chris la don do no chrisal he is in the war of the undead uh the parody version and he
fucking knocks it out of the park as Dracula oh great like one of one of my favorite performances in
this whole book is Chris Lid on his performance, but he is not involved in his story.
Okay.
So I will give you that.
You can shape your theory going forward.
Okay.
I'm not even going to help you.
I think you're a lost closet.
I might be.
I might be.
Two.
It was Mike involved.
It was one of your points.
Sunday shared the songs in question with us.
Could what you are about to hear be the sounds of an angelic choir?
This is a portion of track one.
Don't blame me love made me crazy if it doesn't you ain't doing it right
Lord save me my drug is my baby I'd be using for the rest of my life
And here is a portion of the second track
Look, I used to think no one could ever top Stevie Nix in my book, but I was dead wrong.
Do you know that Sunday, Jeff, has an absolute hard-on for Stevie Nix?
I did not.
I understand it, but I don't, I didn't know that.
Like on a level of Kathy Ireland would get them, like both of these guys.
Yeah, for sure.
He gets upset if you bring up any of her dalliance.
Yeah, with, you know, inside the band.
He's one of the few that doesn't believe that she slept the rest of the band.
Why would he not believe that?
Doesn't she say that?
She's a good girl.
Okay.
You tell him that's fake news, he said.
Okay.
Fair.
Fair enough, I guess.
That ruins the illusion for him when he's alone thinking about Stevie.
What about all the cocaine stories and stuff that...
Again, you know, it's all done to bring her down by some jealous, you know.
Okay.
members, our solo career.
History's written by the victors.
We ask Father Lance, an expert on all things supernatural, or his theory on the songs.
Accounts of angelic choirs appear throughout history.
In visions, dreams, even battlefield reports.
The idea of hearing heavenly voices through technology is not unprecedented.
But you have to consider our devices buffer data all the time.
A fragment of a broadcast, maybe a signal bleed.
there's usually a technical explanation.
This would be the first instance of angels singing on MP3 files.
But after listening to the songs, I came to the swift conclusion,
that Sunday heard music that moved him deeply, maybe it was a gift.
Whether it was angels or not, perhaps it was meant to awaken his spirit,
and at the end of the day, isn't that more important than finding a true origin?
Sometimes I wonder if I was chosen to hear it, but I know what I heard.
What was the source of the mysterious angel songs, a glitch in technology, an elaborate hoax, or a message from beyond, until new evidence emerges.
The mystery of the angelic voices on Sunday Jeff's iPod remains unsolved.
Angelic was a fucking nightmare for him to say.
I bet.
I bet.
It's like, give me an A, I, N, N.
I feel like some of Sunday, Jeff's lines were justice.
Just as tough.
All right.
Question one.
How did the two songs get on Jeff's iPod?
Brian Johnson.
How the fuck should I know?
Okay.
I can't even think of an answer.
I literally cannot think of an answer.
I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know.
Okay.
Q.
These are well written, though.
They are really well written.
And I know that like, if I heard it a couple times, I'm like, okay.
You'd pick up on stuff.
I think I might pick up on more, but that first, listen, I'm so fucking trying to hear it.
I'm not hearing anything.
Well, it goes out of the way to say that he updated his iPods.
So when he hooked it up to the computer, I believe that is the time to update his iPod that those songs got on there.
When he synced his iPod.
When he synced his iPod, yeah, with the computer, when his daughter was home from college, I think some of her songs got on there.
Okay.
Was it an angel?
If not, who was the artist?
BQ?
Well, it was Taylor Swift.
It was not an angel.
I knew it was
Taylor Swift.
Okay.
Don't say that.
Can I redo my first answer?
Sure.
From I don't know.
I think Gettom did it.
I think Gettom did it.
I think Gettom's a Swifty
and he put it on
when somebody Jeff wasn't looking.
You'd redo realize Ginnon wasn't mentioned at all in the story.
It's better than I don't know.
He's not wrong.
Why did Jeff leap to the conclusion the songs were angelic?
BQ.
Well, she's singing about God.
She's singing about, she says, amen, tells God to play it again.
Okay.
Brian?
Same answer.
All right, let's hear a stack.
This is great.
Update.
After this story aired.
Our phone lines were overwhelmed with callers
alerting us that the songs on Sunday Jeff's iPod
were performed by popular superstar singer Taylor Swift.
The most likely explanation
or how the Taita songs found their way onto Jeff's iPod is
when Jeff's daughter came home from college during break.
She charged her phone on the family computer
and some of the songs from her music library
found their way onto the desktop computer.
When Jeff synced his iPod later that day,
the songs were uploaded onto his playlist.
Jeff having lived in an impenetrable bubble
where all pop culture ended for him in 2003
as well as being in what only could be called
a constant stupor state
created what scholars call
the perfect storm for him to leap to a divine conclusion
on asked to comment on finding out
his songs were not having sent
Jeff responded
oh well, supernatural or not
I still got to go to work in the morning
Can you not hear him?
And he's right.
So, BQ, you get two big points because you knew how the songs got on there.
You knew it was Taylor Swift.
Now, nobody, I don't believe, got the reason why Jeff thought they were.
heaven sent songs
Stack says
you know
his living in a bubble
since 2003
where all pop culture ended
he didn't recognize
we didn't hear that
to laughter
right?
Yeah but that's what
he did reveal it though
I think it's just
based on
yeah
and just being in a constant stupor
that was just a
prior knowledge thing I guess
because I even said
stupor early on
I dropped the word stupor
this is fucking
Sir Coney and Doyle shit
right here
I got my double-milled hat on.
I'm going to fucking do this.
Sercone and Doyle.
That's Sherlock Holmes, where you uneducated motherfuckers listening.
Brian gets one, ties it up, but BQ gets two, so he's up by two.
Oh, now this possibly may be my favorite of the stories coming up.
I feel that one was our weakest one.
Really?
All right.
Yeah.
I feel that one was our weakest story in terms of, I knew it was going to be a stretch for you guys to figure
that one out, though.
But you said it.
I know, I got it.
I fucking put out all the breadcrumbs.
Yeah.
Whether you guys can fucking follow the breadcrumbs to the
answer? That remains
to be a different story. It's a fun. It's a fun game.
Alien
Abductions.
On a warm July morning,
Tom Bill O'Sheski ventured
into his doctor's office for his annual
physical exam. Nothing
seemed out of the ordinary or unusual
until Tom's doctor inserted his fingers in a Tom's anus.
Years earlier, Tom's wife had demanded he get a vasectomy,
which he did without question.
What Tom's doctor discovered,
while inside Tom was nothing less than shocking.
There were no signs Tom had ever had his vasectomy.
It was as if his tubes had become untied.
Nobody wants to have their back to their doctor
with this digit inside of you in here.
Hmm, this is unusual.
But nothing could have prepared me
for when he said my vasectomy.
had become undone.
I was always very vocal and, quite frankly, proud about my wife's decision for me to have
a vasectomy.
It was one of the first things I'd mentioned when meeting new people.
So to say I was shook when my doctor said I was still virile was an understatement.
Tom was a staunch supporter for all vasectomies, especially his.
It seemingly was one of the few subjects that Tom would speak passionately of,
but some would say Tom was a bit too passionate.
one of Tom's close friend's recounts.
No matter what subject we were talking about,
inevitably Tom would somehow, some way, bring up his vasectomy.
We could be talking about the Super Bowl,
and Tom would find a way to shoehorn his vasectomy into the conversation.
To be honest, I got a little fed up with him in his vasectomy stories.
I'd be telling a super engaging $5 boot story to someone,
and then all of a sudden Tom would come over and interrupt me
to talk about his tied tubes.
It really started to affect our friendship.
With this puzzling new development regarding his vasectomy, Tom,
was determined more than ever to let anyone and everyone know his startling scrotum update.
Here, Walt Flanagan, a cast member along with Tom, on the podcast The All-New Sunday Jeff's show,
recounts how obsessed Tom was to discuss his situation.
Even before the news about his reverse vasectomy, all he wanted to do was talk about it.
Now he was almost fanatical.
He even wanted to come up with a vasectomy game we could play in the pod just so he could be the center of attention.
Did anyone even look into this?
Are we sure it's really reversed?
Are we just taking his word for it?
solved mystery sent Tom to Dr. D, a prominent physician for a physical to determine the validity
of Tom's claim. She confirmed Tom's osectomy had indeed been reversed. Here she is on the
probability on Tom's vasectomy reversing on its own. A vasectomy reversal is a procedure that can be
done, but to have it happen organically with no surgical procedure is just not possible. I don't know
if this passes the smell test. Okay, so that was the good Dr. D. Yes. She was,
Kind enough to send in some lines.
Could listen to her talk all day.
She's got a great voice.
That's not the kind of test you want to smell, right?
That smell test is not one you want to take a whiff of.
Yeah.
That's horrible.
Okay.
Any questions before we go forward?
Did you know that Tom had of a second?
I believe I knew that, yeah.
Did you know that it was basically his...
No, I didn't know it was.
I didn't know his identity.
I didn't know that his wife made the decision for him.
Brian, you were well aware of this.
Yeah.
I've been around time enough.
Okay.
Go forward then or any other?
So far it seems pretty straightforward.
Well, aliens are about to be inserted in this page.
This is what I was waiting for.
Yeah.
So my wife was not happy when I came home and told her I was no longer snipped.
I knew she was starting to think that I didn't go through with my first vasectomy, but I'd chickened out.
And that's when I told her about the dream.
I'd been having.
Tom told his wife of a series of strange nightmares he was haunted by.
In the dream, Tom was in his car and witnessed a blinding white light,
and then all of a sudden, a being in a white room,
naked on a table, surrounded by strange alien beings.
Tom described the beings as having smooth gray skin and large almond-shaped eyes.
Of course, he subjected him to the probe no man ever wants to get,
but even more curiously, Tom would elaborate.
that the creatures also seemed interested in taking something from him.
It wasn't just my blood they wanted.
They wanted it all.
Saliva, fecal samples.
If I could excrete it, they took it.
I don't know if I ever mentioned this before,
but I got a vasectomy a while back.
The grays were particularly fascinated by that one sample.
They started rummaging around a lot down there.
And then I could swear, one of them looked at me and gave me a thumbs up.
Then he started pulling and tugging.
I was trying so hard to hold out.
I tried everything.
I thought a Spider-Man, even garbage.
But I'm only human, and eventually, well, I climaxed.
Could the grays, as Tom called them,
have wanted a sample of virul sperm from Tom so badly
that they surgically reversed his vasectomy?
I really can't think of any other way this could have happened.
I was abducted by aliens, and they surgically repaired my vasectomy.
They extracted my seed, and they returned me to my car,
where I woke with no memory of what happened.
Did Tom experience?
with those who researched the UFO phenomenon called lost time,
where minutes or hours pass by in what feels like the blink of an eye,
what happened during those stolen hours of Tom's life?
Was Tom truly abducted by the Grays?
What exactly were they hoping to accomplish by reversing his vasectomy?
Perhaps someday Tom will have the answers to those questions,
but for now something more important to Tom,
or should I say Tom's wife had to be addressed?
The first thing she decided was I had to get this correct.
directed ASAP.
She scheduled the very first available
appointment she could get
to my second vasectomy,
and we're both very happy to say,
I'm shooting blanks again.
How cool is it to say
that I'm the first guy in TESD town
to get two vasectomies?
I'm the only one that could say that.
Oof.
It's a tough one.
This is a tough one.
All right.
Well, first question's a layup.
Yeah.
We're aliens responsible
for Tom's reversed vasectomy,
if not, what was?
Bigfoot's an alien, right?
So were aliens responsible, Brian?
It sure sounds like it.
I'll ask again.
Yes.
Yes, aliens were involved.
Okay.
I'm going to lose anyway.
I might as well just have fun.
You're only two points behind.
No, aliens are not involved.
Okay, no.
All right.
Any idea?
What was responsible?
I have a theory.
Well, it's a theory.
You can say it out here.
It's a safe space.
Yeah.
Somehow Gettam's involved because he stole his thunder when he cut off his story to talk about the vasectomy.
And Gettom can't have that.
That's motive.
Mm.
Motive before means.
So in this theory, I guess, Gettom did it like a in office vasectomy.
Just got in there, hurting around.
Corporn and did it right on his table.
Okay. How did Thomas Vesectomy reverse?
Did you ask Bri?
This is the second question.
Okay.
How do you think it did?
I don't know that he ever had it to begin with.
Didn't have it to begin with.
I don't think he had it to begin with.
Okay.
Just because a guy talks about something a lot doesn't mean that he had it to begin with.
That's what I was going to say.
I think he lied to his wife.
Okay.
Yeah.
What was the motivation for the reversal?
Which reversal?
What was the motivation for the reversal?
From...
Well, I think their point is that he never had it to begin with.
So following that line of logic...
Yeah, well, the third question reveals that they were both wrong.
So they couldn't get points on the second one if they could figure out what was the motivation?
Do you think the motivation was?
To get a vasectomy reversal.
Yeah.
Well, I would say that the motivation would be so he would have...
Oh, obviously.
It's coming to me.
Now it's like the end of fucking...
Memento.
Memento, yeah.
He, there was never a reversal.
He only got the second fucking vasectomy
so we could tell the story
about how he had two vasectomies.
There never was an alien.
There never was.
There was a little bit more.
He literally just got a second
vasectomy for no fucking reason
other than to tell people
that he had two vasectomy.
Okay, Brian.
Well, I was going to say the aliens reversed it on him, but I guess I would go ahead
and say that he, that's a good line of reasoning, Q.
It's the only line of reasoning.
None of it happened.
None of it happened.
He's lying about everything.
Whether he had the first vasectomy or not.
That felt like a speech that happens in like a huge, like, mansion.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Whether he had that first vasectomy or not, the answer is still, he claimed not to have one
just so we could get another one.
So he could tell everybody that fucking even more that he had two.
Because he even said it himself, I'm the only one in this town that has had two.
People got tired of hearing the ones.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's it.
That's what I think happens.
Wow.
What am I supposed to say after that?
I would go with that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can I change my alien answer?
Same.
Same, right?
Okay.
That's a really good answer.
Let's hear a stack reveal it.
Update.
After the segment aired tongue, while appearing on a podcast, was berated into revealing he fabricated
the whole alien abduction story.
Tom, whose entire identity was his vasectomy
and feared people were tiring or zoning out
whenever he spoke on his vasectomy.
So in an effort to be more interesting,
he secretly had a doctor reverse his vasectomy
so he could then announce his vasectomy
had mysteriously reversed to friends and family.
Tom's plan would have allowed him to undergo a second vasectomy,
which he then could recount over and over to anyone who would listen.
I'm going to get BQ
It's got to get at least two points
That's honestly incredible
To the degree where it's like
You were so damn close now
Can this be using some sort of like an entrance exam
The Academy?
Exactly
All right
The trick is we just got to look for what
Walt is looking to make fun of the person
And that is
The true motive behind him everything
Yeah yeah
For the record
Anytime I wrote these there was an alien
And they said to Walt and he sent them all back, no aliens, no big foot.
Well, I don't know if you know, but the whole beginning was kind of a, wow, goose or a red herring because you can't really test for a vasectomy by, think, put your finger up someone's hands.
I was wondering that, yeah.
See, that was the best part.
Yeah.
And why can't you, though?
You can't, like, feel through the, through the cavity where the tubes are?
No, no.
It's because they...
If you're not a doctor,
but a doctor who knows what he's feeling around for
could probably, like, feel the right wall
and feel if the tubes were still...
Or like there was a bump on the tube of like a knot or something?
The only way they could tell was by...
The only way they could tell is by taking samples
and making sure that there's nothing in them.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
That's the only way?
Oh, yeah. Tom told me many times
that he had to go 30 times before he'd go back to the doctor
and make sure that he was shooting blanks.
Much better.
30 times?
Yeah.
Much like, you know, changing the Ed Gein's story, I took liberties and said that a doctor could tell if his vasectomy was reversed just by sticking fingers.
And who am I to question that?
I don't know.
Sounds real.
Let me go to Tom's story.
A little sexier, a little hotter.
Three, four, five, one, two, three.
So, BQ, you've got a two point lead going into the final story.
You still got, you get three points out of this and BQ gets none.
You're going to win.
I like how close you are, but everyone's like.
I'm still discounting.
It sucks.
It's terrible.
I keep on to say whatever Q said.
At this point, Sunday, Jeff is laughing.
My stupid.
He's stumbling around in this game.
He's only two more time.
It's shockingly close for how it feels.
All right.
Final story.
And I just not said Alien and Bigfoot, I'd be tied up.
Unexplained phenomena.
Are over 20 years, Frank Five,
the life of quiet rebellion against local municipal garbage pickup fees.
Twice a week, under the cloak of darkness, his pilgrimage began, a solitary man, a bag of refuse,
and the open road to a local business dumpster.
I started driving my garbage to various local dumpsters as a way to save a little money.
Most people would have folded and paid the garbage fees on those rainy or freezing nights,
rather than hop in a car two nights a week and drive around looking for good dumpster drop-offs.
Not me. I was committed. And hey, how do you think I was able to afford a DeLorean?
Frank's wife, Mrs. Five, supported the unusual but thrifty arrangement.
I thought of it more as a hobby. Away for him to get out of the house?
But last week, Frank Five's routine was shattered, replaced by a mystery that defied logic, and perhaps the earthly realm itself.
So it was just another normal Wednesday night. You see, Wednesday and Sunday evenings are my garbage runs.
So like I said, nothing out of the ordinary.
I grabbed the black trash bag my wife Mary had left out for me, and I started out the door.
As I was leaving, Mary asked me if I would mind picking up some of those makeup remover pads for her,
and I agreed.
I grabbed Sherman, my puppy, to tag along, and away we went.
With Pooch and Tove, Frank Fy proceeded to look for the perfect place to dispose of his refuse.
I try to never hit the same place over and over.
If I make the drop at, let's say, Dunkin' Donuts on a Sunday in September,
I won't hit that same Dunkin' Donuts again, at least for another six months or so.
Sherman and I drove around that night for a while when I finally thought I had found the perfect spot, a local Indian casino.
Frank pulled into the back lot of the Indian casino.
He tossed the bag into the dumpster.
Then he drove to pick up his wife's makeup removers at Walmart.
He then went home, went to bed, and thought nothing more of it.
But when the morning sun rose, and Frank made his way to his car to drive to work,
He saw a shocking sight.
The same bag of garbage he swore he had thrown away the night before
was sitting neatly in the passenger seat of his car.
Okay, now, this may be something that you're totally unaware of, right,
that Frank actually does this shit.
I think I've heard that before.
It wouldn't be something that I probably would have recalled on my own,
but it rang familiar when I heard it.
This guy...
He's like a serial killer.
He said before that serial killers have no problem driving around endlessly for hours.
Wild, man.
And then catalogues.
the Dunkin' Donuts won in September.
That is a real conversation that we had on the boat one day.
Wow.
Oh, yeah, I won't hit the same place.
How much is that garbage fee do we know?
Oh, it's probably a lot.
It has to be substantial for him to make this kind of effort, I think, for this many decades to avoid paying that pickup fee.
Okay.
I know that Mary's used to it, but, man, I want to see Deb's face when she hears this story about fucking
Hitting Dunkin' Donuts
and cart and garbage all over,
getting it in your car?
Yeah.
It's so gross.
It's weird.
It has to cost a lot.
Otherwise, it's just like,
who wants that shit in their car?
Leaking out?
Well, he's done it for so long.
I just think it's now out of habit.
Get out of the house.
A hobby.
I think most of the property lives.
Most of the night traffic,
it's all men in garbage.
They're all doing the same thing.
So we have some clues in there.
I'll tell you right now.
I mean, hopefully you guys picked up
on some of the clues.
See, really, man.
I'm not connecting anything.
Yeah.
I just couldn't believe it.
I was kind of in shock.
I went back inside and asked my wife, Mary,
if she had put the bag in my car.
Mrs. Five seemed unnerved when Frank asked her if she had any knowledge
and how the bag had found its way back into Frank's car,
but she denied any knowledge.
A slightly shaken Frank Five decided he would dispose of this new bag of trash later that evening,
but the overwhelming stench coming from the bag forced Frank to dump it
in broad daylight on his way to work.
The smell, the smell was horrible.
The only time I've ever smelled anything
as bad as what was in that bag
was when my septic system went belly up.
But last year, I finally put a new system in
and I thought I'd never have to smell anything like that again.
Frank tried to put the unpleasant news behind him
but the very next morning.
When he went to his car,
he found yet another repugnant,
smelling bag of trash next to him in the front seat.
In fact, Frank would await for the next day,
days straight to a reeking new bag of trash.
I thought I was losing my mind.
It felt like I was cursed or something.
Like I was being punished.
Frank Five shaken to his cork, consider the supernatural.
I thought it had to all come back to that Indian casino.
I thought I angered them, the old gods.
All those years sneaking and dumping my garbage, avoiding my dues.
Now they're sending it all back to me.
Mary Five, Frank's wife wasn't ready to leap to such.
on earthly conclusions.
I don't know how the bags got in Frank's car,
but an Indian curse, come on.
What's the big deal anyway?
Frank is driven and dumped countless bags of garbage.
What's a few more?
Did Frank Five disturb something far older
and far more powerful
when he disposed of his trash
at that Indian casino?
Did he anchor the gods,
who then punished him
by returning what he tried to cast away?
For now, the truth remains unknown.
But one thing is certain.
Frank Five will never look at a
bag of garbage the same way again.
Okay.
Well, it looks on your faces.
You seem like this is a...
I have a theory.
This is a head scratcher, it looks like.
I have a little bit of a theory.
All right.
Well, you...
Was it Indian curse? Question one.
No.
No. Okay. Both of you say no. Good.
If not, how did the bags appear in Frank's car?
I personally think Mary 5 was putting them in there to get them out of the house.
Okay.
I believe that Mary 5 was doing as well.
I believe she was walking the dog that was mentioned.
The dog would, because he did say that he hadn't smelled that smell since something about his sewer, which is shit.
I think Mary was walking the dog and just threw the bags.
Do you not know about Frank's septic system?
No.
Oh, surprisingly, I don't know about that.
Yeah, this is a good feeling.
Yeah, tell him.
So Frank's septic system had long since passed its expiration date.
The leech field had become a, it got to the point where if he mowed the,
a couple times he went to go mow the grass
and the whole entire lawn
sank in so Mary had to go out and save him
and he was spinning the wheels
and it was shooting shit all over Mary
I'm not sure if he's seen a leech field when they go bad
based on the true story
all these whole this is all true
except the
the Indian casino curse
but the cost to replace the system was so much
Frank kept trying to put it off as far as long as he could
it is crazy I want your cost
right
all right so why did the bag smell so bad
there's dog shit in it
yeah it's what I was going to say
I was going to say Mary filled with dog shit
okay
when he gets to a point where it's so common
it's like flog the dog the dog should
just throw the courage bags in your husband's car
to get him out of the house
give him something to do
how close are his neighbors to him
pretty close
like were they pissed at the smell
did he deal with angry neighbors
It's not that it smelled.
It's just that it was...
Well, did he deal with angry neighbors?
No, I think they have all...
So the neighbors have no reason to put it in his car.
He deals with angry neighbors, but not because of the septic system.
Right.
No way that it packs this case.
No.
No way.
There are separate cases.
There are other cases in this man's life.
And I'm not involved.
Yeah, get him as not involved.
What was the motivating factor for the culprit who left the bags in Frank's car?
Q?
Well, if it's married, so get him out of the house.
Get him out of the house, Brian?
Yeah, that's what I said.
Originally, get him out of the house.
Okay.
You guys are going to smack your foreheads when you hear what the real reason was.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, it's going to be like, oh, my God, how could I have not known?
I don't think I'll say that.
It's all in the first clip.
Go ahead.
Update.
Before we hear our update, I'd like to talk about a mystery almost everyone listening tonight as experienced.
The mystery of a missing wallet.
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Okay, back to our update.
After this story aired, Mrs. Five came clean with Frank
and revealed she was the one placing the trash bags in Frank's Delorean.
The night before the first mysterious bag appeared in Frank's car,
Mrs. Five had flushed her makeup remover pads,
causing a major messy septic tank backup.
Not wanting to upset Frank by telling him she had just backed up his new septic system,
Mrs. Five decided to keep the mishap to herself.
She cleaned up the mess, but realized the backup required an inordinate amount of trash bags.
Mrs. Five hoped that the many years of driving trash bags around town
had numbed Frank and the extra bags would go on notice.
but that was not to be the case.
Frank Fy, relieved to not be under an Indian curse,
as resumed his twice-weekly garbage dumpster rounds.
I was wondering how the makeup was going to be involved in it.
Yeah, I was wondering how.
Did you take that from the tampon shit in the girls' room here?
Like 50 signs.
I was too much for gentlemen to change it to makeup.
That'd be an awkward, good trip next summer.
BQ, you have one.
All right.
Nice work.
Thank you.
This is a good one.
You have one.
Eric B. Peterson of Grand Rapids, Michigan, a free copy of the New War of the Undead
audiobook.
Nice.
Congrats, buddy.
Thank you.
Who did I lose for again?
Gary St. Martin.
Sorry, Carrie St. Martin of Connecticut.
It was good.
It was nice to use the old brain muscles.
Yeah.
Try to figure it out.
And, you know, it's at this many years in, it's always like a, it's a crapshoot.
Like, what can we do that we haven't done before?
What can we do that's different and interesting?
You seem to keep coming up with new stuff, dude.
Well, it was a big factor.
You know, it's his put, we put our heads together.
Thanks work.
Thank you.
This year's and hopefully people,
like it. And it was way, way
easier just to call Sven Gulli.
I haven't talked to us for an hour
than it was to do this episode.
This one is great for me.
This is legendary. This is a stuff. They're going to love this.
I hope so. This is out of the park. Yeah, this is great.
Great. Wow.
Oh, fucking happy Halloween, everyone. Yeah, happy Halloween.
Thank you, Will. I want to thank everybody who
contribute it to the voices for this episode.
Father Lance, Jimmy, Johnny Lord.
They all did great. All did great work.
Jeff. Jeff, Mrs. Five.
Ming, Frank Five.
Ming, Frank Five.
Yeah.
Tried to get Mike.
Did you really?
Yeah, he wouldn't answer to text, though.
Oh, no?
No.
This is probably a smart move.
I just have to pretend you shit on the floor.
It was too busy, boring people in Chicago.
I mean, that'll happen when your numbers blocked.
All right, well, I guess happy Halloween, or actually, let's let Stack say it.
Tell them, Steve Dave.
Oh, you don't need it.
We'll put it in.
Okay.
Look at the face.
The panic.
I'd like to see that hop too in my...
You don't see it that frequently.
No, no, not at all.
Not at all.
Good job.
Do you have it already, or you can have a hard time getting it?
You got it.
Before we canceled the description, I was like, make sure he says, tell him Steve, Dave.
Yeah.
