Tell Em Steve-Dave - #660: Q Does It Again!

Episode Date: December 8, 2025

Thanksgiving, Git Em hospitalized, are Bry & Q callous, Woke Portland, fat news, more micro-peens.

All right, well, I got to get up and go to the bathroom. I'm not just going to sit here and piss my pants. Well, guess what I did? You guys suck. Walt Flanagan is not a felon. We know this. We do know that. I'm pretty sure he's not a prostitute.

Tell him, Steve, Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave. I sit here with two of the handsomest men in podcasting. Walt Flanagan. Oh, thank you. And BQ. hello hello thank you you you're not so bad looking yourself why thank you that kind of pod huh oh so uh so it's been a while we took off for Thanksgiving week

how was your Thanksgiving cue miserable oh what I don't want to hear that I was sick you were sick I told you this. I was sick the whole time. I got sick from the fucking everybody sneezing and coughing in that room the next day. I was like, oh, shit. That's right. I said to you, I was like, I'm definitely getting sick. I go, everybody in that room was sick.

You know that right? And then Christmas and no. Oh, oh, shit. And then, too, I was like, there's no way like Walt could be sick. Get him was sick. I saw some of the red noses and some of the other guys. I was like, there's no way I'm not getting sick. And I got sick.

I was better by Thanksgiving, though. I'm surprised that it staggered. Yeah, I was only down for like two days, and then I felt better. Yeah, yeah. It was kind of like a 28-hour hours. I had a tail on you, though, because I had to get it. You know what I mean?

And then, and you know my constitution is that of a fucking newborn bunny. So it was a- vitamin regimen? Nah. You've got to get on as a fucking GNC, man. I don't know. You're quickly approaching 50. What was that, what was that, what was that factor or not factor?

What was that vitamins we used to push? Oh, my God. I forget. I can't remember. You don't have a cocktail that you take? No, no, not. Well, not that type of cocktail. You think it'd be one of these guys that's like trying to reverse aging and shit, like that,

that tech billionaire guy. His name is Brian, ironically, Brian Johnson. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Couldn't be more opposite. I'm not doing blood infusions and sharing sperm with my son and all kinds of weird shit. Oh, bizarre. Yeah.

Yeah, that's weird. Yeah, so. Are you better now? Hmm? Are you better now? I am, I am better now. Yeah, I was, it was about two days ago, I started, I was like, okay, I'm okay, I stopped, like, spitting up green stuff and everything. So you didn't have any turkey?

I had turkey. I had a, uh, what is that? What is that food delivery? I don't remember the name of the service, but I was able to secure some. Yeah, I was able to secure turkey breast and stuffing and cranberry and stuff like that. So I had a,

you know, a nice little lonely sick Thanksgiving. It was good. Giving thanks for what? Yeah, the cats. None of them off my side. They were all there.

Boris was with me the whole time. Yeah. Yeah, it was great. But how was yours? How was the Johnson family Thanksgiving? Uneventful, man. No arguments, no fighting. Just everybody getting along and having a good time.

Nice. Enjoying each other's company. I was like, what the fuck is wrong with this picture? Something has to go. Yeah, well, Edgar's still like, Edgar is like, you know, he's sick, so he doesn't have any, any fight in him anymore. He's down to 125 pounds, man. And he told me that on a Thanksgiving, down from like 160. That was normally about where he was, about 160.

Hmm. I might take the fight out of you. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. You know, all the Johnsons are broken down, man. Like, uh, my sister has, she needs to get her knee replaced.

Edgar has cancer. Pam is hunched over like an old woman. Like, you know, when it's like, drink your milk or you get osteoporosis. That's what she looks like now. She's all hunched over and stuff. Me with the fucking back. I just got the second epidoral, which seems to, be working. Nice. I didn't realize that you can get epidurals and they don't work. I didn't realize it

either until they told me when I went the first time. I'm like, you know, here are the risks and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and it might not work. And I was like, really? All right, well, let's go for it anyway. And then it didn't work, or it kind of worked a little bit. And so how do you know, like, how long do you have to wait before you get the second one? I waited a couple weeks I think it was like two weeks because they say usually it's like two to five days and then you know whether it worked or not

so I went back the other day today's we're recording on Friday I went on went yesterday yeah I went yesterday God it seemed so long ago yeah I went yesterday and within 24 hours it feels like it's probably working better

So you had to get two I had to get two and not only that but like when I was under the second time he could like he goes in and he's like oh he got too many blood vessels here. So, like, he sticks me with the needle to, you know, like, to, uh, to, uh, numb it up. Where's he's sticking?

Too many blood vessels. Like, right, right, my shoulder, kind of. He's like, all right. So we're going to go over to this part. And he's like, uh, he's like, uh, we're going to, uh, try to go into this area right here. All right. You got too many blood vessels here.

We could go under a layer. Do you consent to that? Now I'm lying on, like, it looks like I'm getting a massage. I'm lying on like a table with my face on that pillow. And I'm like, I guess I don't know what it means really to like go another. layered down. But if that's what it's going to work, I guess, yeah, sure, let's do it. So there's certain parts of your body that don't have as many blood vessels in it?

I guess so. I don't know. Yeah, I was surprised that it's like, because it didn't happen the first time and then it happened twice the second time. You know, my daughter, when, you know, she didn't even take the epidural when she was, when she gave birth to Oliver. That's a tough chick. Yeah.

That's a tough choice, baby. We're built different. Yeah, like, medicine, nah. Do you have any buffering, maybe? That should kill the pain. She was like, I don't want it. She said she wasn't going to do it. My wife was like, she'll do it when it, when a push comes to shove and get down the nitty-gritty.

Did that pain come? She goes, she's going to do it. But, you know, she didn't do it. And why not? I guess she had heard some horror stories. Oh, yeah. Yeah, like, you know, that's what the worst thing about the Internet, you know, it's now you can look up everything. Right.

Every little ailment, you can look it up and every, like, the most possible scenario, you can, it comes up immediately as the first search result. Right, yeah. You're like, oh, shit. Yeah, it's like a reading in Amazon review. It's like you can read as many number one, like five-star reviews as you want. But then once you get to those one-stars, you're like, oh, shit, is this really the deal? Like, why would these people say it if it wasn't really the deal? But it took this epidural?

So now you're just on epidural, monthly epidurals now? No, not monthly. Hopefully it'll last a couple of years. It was monthly I would be able to afford it. These things are expensive, man. Even with insurance, it was like 900 bucks. Really? Just for a shot? Just for a shot.

What's in that, what's in that shot? It must be some kind of magical fucking potion, man. It better be. Or it should have been. Yeah. It's like gold slugger. It's like gold flakes in it. Could it be just a placebo?

Oh, you think so? They're like, let's just give the sucker some saline charge of $900. We're feeling better, Doc. Sure you are. You're not feeling good enough. We need another one. We need another one. like all right if you think so you think so doc yeah it felt a lot like when i was in key west with

q it was like it was crippling pain like i couldn't do shit because of it yeah and now it's like every once in a while i feel a little bit of a tingle in my fingers but now it's like mostly i would say like 99% gone wow okay well then it's not bad all for the epidural then yeah it's kind of worth it. But then I'm just like with this fucking health insurance, I'm like, what the fuck, man? Like, you know how much you pay every month? Oh, yeah. And then on top of it. Yeah. And then it's like, the only time I feel good is when I go to the pharmacy and I'm like, oh, it's only $1.80 for this prescription that would normally be $18. Well, that's good. But like, meanwhile, you're paying $1,500 a fucking month. Yeah, you just get the fucked. Nonstop. You're just getting fucked nonstop.

Yeah. Give me some more epidurals. Give it to me. Brian. What about your Thanksgiving? What would you do? It was good. It was at my house. Everybody was there. And Oliver's first Thanksgiving. Oh, yeah.

Didn't have any turkey, though. Still on milk. But it was good. It was a nice, quiet Thanksgiving. Yeah. No stories to come from any of this stuff. No, no stories came out of Thanksgiving now. Yeah, I got none.

It's usually a fight. Usually, you know, like these last couple years have been very tame, very relaxed. How'd your sister hurt her knee? I don't know. I think it's just like gradual arthritis, kind of like mine was. And she's going to get it replaced? Yeah. She had to lose a certain amount of weight until they would do it.

And now she's getting it done in sometime in the middle of January. It's not a small deal either. I know a lady who got her knee replaced, same deal as your sister. It's like, they offered her the oxy. She's like, nah, it's okay. I'll just take Tylenol. And I'm like, I remember that pain. Like, when I remember, I was telling Mary Beth when the first one I got my knee done, the first night I was like, all right, well, I got to get up and go to the bathroom.

I'm not just going to sit here and piss my pants. Well, guess what I did? Because I couldn't get up. I could not get up. Yeah, like, I even had my walker and stuff, but like. Wait a minute. They didn't plan for that? Well, the catheter afterwards or whatever it was.

Wait, wait. They didn't plan for it. No. What? Because I pissed. I pissed in my pants. So you went, so you pissed your pants, you went back to a doctor and, like, Doc, I need a catheter. Look at me?

No, no, no. I told them. I told them that. I was like, you know, I can't get up to go to the bathroom. And then I think that's when they did it. Were you in the hospital? Yeah. So you didn't call the nurse?

No, I did. I mean, I didn't want to call the nurse to be like, I got to go to the bathroom. But then I was like, oh, shit, now I can. There's nothing to be done about it. It was too late. Like, oh, you cross the path of no return? Yeah. Yeah.

I had to go really bad. And I was just like, I can probably make it to the bathroom. I can do this. I can't do this. Okay. Yeah, like one leg is my good leg is out. I'm like, I'm not doing this. Okay.

But speaking of hospitals, I know Walt Flanagan is not a felon. We know this. We do know that. I'm pretty sure he's not a prostitute. So I can't think of another reason why this guy would not carry an ID on him. I was talking to get him yesterday. Get him's in the hospital. I went to see him.

And he said that like Walt is, and he's your, he's, you're his go-to guy. You're the, you're on his list. On his list. Oh, yeah, his doctor called me after his operation. Well, yeah, get him, get him into the hospital. For those who don't know, right after Thanksgiving, that's why we couldn't have Black Friday at this, at the general store. And he didn't even know he was going to have his surgery. I mean, it was, he went to a doctor and they were like, you've got to go for surgery now.

Like, you can't wait. So it was like, it was all done within 24 hours because of whatever he's dealing with his spine and everything. So it was kind of like took everybody. Like, I thought he might have to get surgery. I was pretty confident he would have to get surgery the way he's been hobbled lately. But I thought it would be like in January or something. I was pretty shocked when that. were like we got to do it like ASAP like there is no weight and we got to do it now usually

that's that's fucked up when you get like you don't even have time to prep right i don't know if that's worse or better because when i had surgery a couple years ago we're right around the same time kidham had it it was a 30 day wait and in and though in that 30 days is excruciating as you just like again you go to the google searches you go to all like what could go wrong blah blah blah blah blah i don't know if it's better or worse to be like we're going to do it like in an hour. I think for Get him, it's better to do it the way that it happened.

You don't give him a chance to argue it. You don't, yeah. There's no there's no coming up with a billion reasons why he shouldn't do it that make no sense to anybody but him. Like, you know, when the doctor, even a fucking dense motherfucker like

get him when the doctor's like, no, no, no, you got to go to the hospital now. He listens. I don't have faith in him. sitting on a month and going through the fucking maze that is his mind, you know? Yeah, so he's in the hospital. I went to see him the night before the surgery, and he said he was going to put me down as his, him, me and his dad were going to be the people, the person.

His other dad. The person that doctor was going to call when the surgery was over. I was going to get a call when the surgery is over for an update on his condition. And he had to go in at his surgery was scheduled for 2 p.m. And Gettam said it would be over in four hours. So in my mind, I'm not expecting a doctor to call at six. I know that like, you know, it's probably going to be between 630 and 7, I thought. But that call did not come until 10.30.

Yeah, I think you texted me up like 10.30, yeah. So I was getting pretty. I was bouncing off the walls, and I was like, I told my wife, I was like, he can't be in surgery this long. Right. I guess they just forgot to call me. Or they just were like, or they looked in, it's like, oh, that's his father. Who's this other fucking clown? We got to call him.

Why do we got to call him? Oh, it's his, it's his buddy. It's his boss. Yeah. It's got to call his boss. What is he? He's worried that he's going to get docked pay? Why the fuck are we calling this fucking moron?

So I call. My wife was like, just call the hospital. So I called at 8.30 and I asked, you know, what, if I could get an update on, I didn't call him get him. But, and I had to remind myself, don't call him get him. And the lady on the phone just go, like, I'm surprised she just gave me this information because she didn't ask me my name or anything. She didn't know, like he had given me as a contact, but she said, she said he's still on the table at 8.30. so that went to like all the worst things like why the fuck is he still on the table why is this taking so long what the fuck must have happened um and you know those hours just kept crawling and crawling and then finally the doctor called and it was so short just like is this walter flanagan i go yes and goes i'm calling for blank blank operation went fine he'll be waking up soon good night And I'm like, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait.

I don't know why I'm on the phone with you at all. He goes, yes. And I'm like, uh, I didn't know what to. I didn't know what I said was thank you. I don't know why I want him to wait, but I just, oh, well, thank you, doctor. I said, thank you. And so that night, though, when I went the same before the surgery, I didn't. Yeah, I had a very difficult time getting to the hospital because I

I didn't have any ID. Right. Yeah, that's what this all comes down to is. Walt does not drive with the drivers. Like, whenever I watch these cop cams and I see people pulled over and like, do you have your license? Like, no. I'm like, who doesn't carry their license when they drive?

Who? I haven't carried it. You never. Decades. I know. Last time we got into trouble, we tried to go to that micro-midget wrestling league. And you couldn't get in almost. Because I'm a terrified.

I'm going to lose it. Yeah? Yeah. Because I lose everything. So I'm like. Why don't take a picture of it on your phone? Because you had to call your wife to get a picture, right? No, I was going to.

Like the lady at the front counter was pretty cool, but she was giving me a little bit of a hard time at first. I told her, I was like, can I just call my wife and she'll text you a picture or text me a picture of it? And she kind of was just like broke protocol and let me go up. But the next day, I did have my license. I saw on the next day or the day after the surgery. And I gave the license to a different lady. And she goes, were you in the building before? And I was like, yes.

She goes, why didn't you tell me? I go, I don't know. I had to tell you I was here earlier or the couple days ago. She goes, she was so mad that this time I had the license. It was bizarre. It was just the bitch who was just, no, not the same way, different lady. Just somebody who was looking for a reason to be annoyed. It really, really felt like that.

And she goes, well, now you have a license before. You didn't have a license. She goes, and she's just shaking her head like something's not right. And I'm going, well, I, she's, just forgot it. I said the, you know, she let me go through. And I just said, like, she was in a different room. So I was like, she, I go, I don't know where I'm going. And she throws her hands up, so animated, like, oh, my God. And I'm like, you work at the front desk. Like, isn't this? Like, don't you come. It's a reasonable question. This is not something I would think

would be uncommon. You have to go. She pulls out a little map and she goes, this is where you got to go. And so the looks of it, I'm like, it's all one floor. And I just got to walk straight and make one turn. So I was like, okay, so I never have to get on an escalator. She goes, hon, if you want to ride the escalator, go for it, but you're not going to get there. Oh my God. Jesus Christ. Wow. Yeah, she was not happy. But he's doing well, seemingly. He's in a bit of pain. But it's like the doctor said, the operation went fine. Yeah. Well, they always, they always lie when And, like, when you're not, if you're at a doctor's office, you're in a hospital, like, when we went to see him, you and Marybeth dropped by, and we were like, he's not in the room. So we're like, you know, we went to the desk and we're, you know, and we're like, where is he, you know, and she's like, oh, he went for a CT scan.

And I said, well, how long does that take? She's like, I'll be back in less than 20 minutes. An hour later, I'm like, I'm not waiting around anymore from this guy. And then he finally fucking turns the corner and he's in a chair and they're rolling him around and shit, yeah. He's going to be out of commission for probably till January. January queue. Oh, really? Yeah.

Maybe you could come down and, like, kind of put in a couple hours. That's not the office coach. We're your uniform. I cannot come down and do a couple hours, and the effect would be the same as to whether get him was there or not. Let's not pretend that he, you know, is a model employee. But I thought it was very sweet that, because originally we were supposed to record on or I was able to record on Wednesday.

And you did, you were, you were saying, you don't feel comfortable recording while he's in surgery. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, I don't want to record Wednesday.

I don't want to do it while he's in surgery. And it was a real, like, a moment for me where I was like, is there something wrong with me? That, like, I was like, because I was just like, I even said in the text here.

I was like, that's not something that would have occurred to me. But yeah, no problem. We'll do it another day. And I've been thinking about it all week. And I'm like, is there something wrong with me? I don't think so. I don't know.

It didn't occur to me either. I got to be honest with you. It didn't occur to me. In fact, like, when I was texting you guys back, I almost was, like, reticent to be like, once you said he was okay. I'm like, oh, cool, he's okay. So tomorrow? I don't know.

Yeah, I'm not saying, when I said that I didn't want to record, I didn't mean that you guys couldn't get together and record. I just meant my headspace was not in a right frame of mind to record because especially the whole time I'd be thinking, I'd be looking at my watch and be going like, oh, my God, we're podcasting and he's, he's split open and, you know, he's, I can't, I just could not, like, there's not a chance on the planet. I could have been in, in the right frame of mind to crack jokes while that was going on. I just couldn't do it.

You know, it was so weird. I know you guys are going to fucking make fun of me, but the whole time that, like, as soon as that clock hit, I knew he was in there, my neck hurt. And I kept, like, I kept, like, having these bad pains of my neck. Really? Yeah, and I was like, oh, my God, like, is this what he's feeling right now? It's like, is there some sort of symbiotic connection going on? So you didn't think, like, it's, like, stress or anxiety. You're like, oh, my God, we're mind melding.

I will take your pain It's like at the end of the exorcist It's like, come in to me We share everything Yeah I didn't mean for it to come off As like you guys like shouldn't pot Or do whatever you guys want to do

I just meant for me personally I was like I can't do it I just can't And it would have been the same way If it was anybody else It would have been the same way I just don't have the kind of ability to put it to the side

and not kind of stress and dwell on it. Yeah, I don't have a lot of coping skills that way. I feel like at a certain point like a couple of years like maybe about a decade ago

it just became impossible for me to not like worry. You know, maybe I need a little bit of that fucking someone at some of that some bit of the volcano I'll hook you up yeah I didn't I didn't think I didn't think anything was wrong with it

like I wasn't like what a fucking pussy what's up with this guy I I was literally like because I I'll show you a text that contradicts that and I and I was but I literally was like I took stock of myself and what it came down to for me wasn't like well, I'm callous and I don't give

a fuck. I was like, oh, I just assume he's, everything's going to go fine. Yeah, that's kind of the way I feel is like, yeah, he's in surgery and they're going to fix him up. Yeah, I'm like, they're going to fix him up and he'll be fine. Yeah, like, it doesn't occur to me that it's going to like kill him. That it's going to go wrong.

Yeah. Or he's going to be paralyzed or something. I mean, just practically paralyzed before he went in. I know, but there was no excuse me there was no way I was going to be able to I'm not breaking up either he's crying getting emotional we should have podcasted today either I just would have been focused on the time like I definitely would have been looking

at that clock going like this is wrong this is weird like we can't be making jokes about this right now it's just not it's not how I could roll I couldn't do it yeah but there's always something going on in the world, you know. Not my world. That's true. Yeah, if you're talking about your own personal. That's really the only world that I can focus on. I can't focus on the rest of the world.

Is it possible? All this shit that people got going on, man. It's like, I don't want to join in on that. Let's see, what else do we got here? Sunday Jeff. Sunday Jeff texts me every holiday. And I didn't think it was a Sunday Jeff thing, but he used a turkey emoji when he said, Happy Thanksgiving.

Like, Sunday Jeff doesn't seem to be the type of guy that would, like, be able to search it out and figure out how to put a turkey emoji on there. I think somebody sent that to him. Oh, he copy and paste it? And then he just copy and paste it to everybody else. Son of a bitch. Like, again, it would never occur to me to text anybody happy Thanksgiving. Like, I, I, it would, I can't imagine me being like, let me text someone happy.

I got to let them know that I hope they have a happy Thanksgiving. I would just be like, people are. with their family doing their thing. Why the fuck do they want to another text, an unnecessary text from this clown with like a turkey emoji? It wouldn't occur to me. I guess, you're sitting home,

grousing. I don't not sending any Thanksgiving to text to anybody. By a fucking humbug. This may be thinking of you, Walt, because I know you're a big Christmas guy. Yes. Love Christmas.

in Portland, thank God you don't live there because in Portland they had a Christmas tree lighting but Portland's woke tree lighting ceremony sparks outrage they can't even say

Christmas tree Portland has sparked outrage after stripping its Christmas tree of its name referring only to it as the tree during the lighting ceremony these fucking people man who are they trying to

who are they trying to be nice to? Who are they trying to be sensitive to that you can't say fucking Christmas tree? What, what is it that? Yeah, like I wonder, I know the, I know in their hearts they think they're doing a good thing. I just would need to hear, yeah, if you could explain it eloquently why you feel it's better to call it the tree. And I might, I might listen. I might listen. Yeah. Well, is it because. Christ? Probably. Yeah, probably. They don't want to offend anybody who is not a Christian. But it sounds really, well, go ahead, Kim. You're appropriating, though, the Christmas tree then.

Like, it's a, like, you're just taking it from that culture. Right. And, and using it anyway and changing it. I thought, I thought we had just all learned through the previous most fun decade we've all lived through that you're not supposed to do that anymore. So it's, it's funny. But at the end of the day you know what's so funny is how little i care i don't give a fuck call a christmas tree call it the tree call it don't put a christmas tree up it it doesn't like i i i have a hard time getting worked up about it at all it's some of those people though that are that i want to call it that though they shouldn't get christmas off then or they shouldn't get a paid holiday done i don't think they are by the looks of them in this article

They have to have jobs You know what I'm saying? I know like they don't want to call a Christmas tree or the day Christmas But yet they sure want to get that fucking sweet holiday pay You know, paid day off But that's okay then Then all of a sudden they're okay with it, right? Yeah, yeah, definitely

If it benefits up somehow Yeah, they shouldn't get that day not comped and their paycheck should reflect that then that's what I know they really stand on their beliefs Well, it sounds like it was a ball The festive occasion was kicked off

with a woman from the confederated tribe of Warm Springs thanking everyone in the crowd for coming out on Native American Heritage Day Not Thanksgiving She uh, I mean Christmas or whatever she introduced two young members of the tribe who referred to the celebration only as the tree lighting before handing the microphone

to another featured speaker. Draped in a Palestinian flag, the woman used her stage time to lead the crowd in a free Palestine chant. This is the perfect time to bring it up. There's a lot of genocides going on. She said moments into the Christmas tree lighting. Can I get into the tree lighting ceremony?

Can I get a free, free Palestine and some members of the crowd were heard obliging? Then she led the crowd in the strong woman's song, performing alongside two young children and another woman, noting it felt appropriate since we're representing our matriarchs up here. I'm, dude, I, I got to be honest with you. I'm not in the room. I'm zooming in today.

Like, are you just making this up? Because this sounds like a fucking parody of how people, like, are you making this up just to fucking see what we say? Because this is so fucking. I wish I was. I wish I was. I don't think I could make up something. Like, it's just so fucking nuts that, like, this is, this is what Christmas is now.

It's like a free Palestine chant and Native Americans and everybody being like, you guys suck. if you like Christmas. Well, I know, well, this has given me some ideas for next year's TSD Christmas special, though. At least now I know I have a direction I can go in. Yeah. We're woke here, man. Did you see some of the prices on Christmas trees lately?

No, I have a fake tree now, so I don't even look at the prices. Are they crazy? It's a stucer shock on Christmas trees, especially fake ones. Really? Yeah, I don't know what they're making them out of now. I mean, titanium. It's the tariffs, bro. It's fucking Trump's tariffs.

Maybe, but yeah, it's, I don't know how anybody can even afford a tree. What kind of prices are you looking at? Like triple figures for a Christmas tree. That's not surprised. I think last year I took a look and they were like about a buck 25. Oh, no, like 300. Oh, really? Holy shit.

Yeah. But they're already pre-lit though, so maybe I'm just looking at the high-end models in And not Rickles. Is Rickles still around? No, Rickles doesn't have been around sometime. Loz or Home Depot? Yeah. Did I just have a stroke?

I thought it was 1984 and Rickles was still around and Channel. Yeah, Channel. Yeah, that was one. I couldn't remember the name of it. All right. Q, Christmas is coming. Yes. It's right around the corner.

Some people don't want to acknowledge that by calling it a tree, but Christmas is right around the corner. Yes. And I'm going to talk some real talk to you. Not that Portland shit. Has anyone else realized that gift-giving season is already here? If you haven't even started your list yet, don't panic. Miundis has your back and your butt. Miandis is making it ridiculously easy to win the holidays this year,

whether you're shopping for a partner bestie or just treating yourself. Their holiday and Match Me collections may get simple to give a gift that actually fits literally and emotionally. There's something weirdly magical about matching outfits during the holidays. And Miundis has taken that to the next level with their Match Me collection. Now, I got to say, I got to say, I don't, like to usually contradict or be contrarian when it comes to me undies but i do not like the matching outfits i think they're corny but some people love them so what are we going to do well we've we've this discussion for you and me goes back fucking 25 years when i was uh when i was

infatuated walt with a lady um and brian found out that she had a Christmas tradition of her whole family, got dressed in matching pajamas and spent the day in matching pajamas on Christmas. He delighted in the idea of me wearing those pajamas. Like, you're going to do it. I know you're going to do it. I never did. No.

I never did. Never did happen. Yeah, but it was a hot topic for like a year. Back in the late 90s. Now, why so hung up, though? Why someone willing just to let your hair down and wear a matching outfit with an adoptive family? Why is it worth such mockery? Yeah, well, like, why can't you just like let it go and let go of your inhibitions and just go, you know what?

I'm just going to relax. and put on these PJs and have some hot chocolate. Fuck it, right? Just fuck it. I'm going to do it. Go ahead, Kea? No, I have an answer for that.

And the answer is because I'm friends with Brian Johnson and there's no way to get away with behavior like that. Because if he finds out about it, his eyes are going to light up. And then I'm never going to fucking hear the end of it ever. It's self-preservation. I remember back in 1999, you're saying you'd never do it. Mondi's makes it fun, easy, and ridiculously cozy.

Their holiday prints are adorable. Their fabric is next level soft and the best part you'll actually want to be caught in matching loungewear all season long. Yeah, right. We're talking over 30 million pairs sold, 90,000 five-star reviews and problem-free philosophy. That means if you don't love your first pair, it's on them. They're sustainably made, to your holiday giving can feel good and do good. From cozy joggers to festive onesies, cheeky undies to cuddle-worthy brawits.

There's a cut color and vibe for everyone on your list. Their Match MeLine lets couples and friend duos coordinate their loungeware game while the holiday collection brings that seasonal joy to your softest layers. And here's the best part. Right now you can get 50% off. Yeah, half off. That's a holiday miracle if we ever heard of one. We may have made no secret over the years that we all wear Miundis.

That's what we wear exclusively. So you do it too. And you'll be happy. Knock out all your holiday gifting needs today with Miundis to get an exclusive holiday deal for up to 50% off. Go to meandis.com slash TESD and enter promo code TESD. That's Mendes.com slash TESD promo code TESD

for 50% off. All right. That's one down. Number two. Fall always feels like a reset between back to school, busy routines and shorter days, finding time the cook can be tough

and that's why we love factor. Their chef prep, dietitian-approved meals, make it easy to stay on track, enjoy something comforting and delicious, no matter how hectic the season gets. There's more of, variety, more meals. Choose from a wider selection of weekly

cost options, including premium seafood choices like salmon and shrimp at no extra cost. Support your wellness goals. Enjoy a more GLP-1 friendly meal and new Mediterranean diet options packed with protein and good for you fats. Sayver global flavors. Asian-inspired meals with bold flavors influenced by China, Thailand, and more. For more choices, a better nutrition. That's why 97% of customers say that factor help them live a healthier life.

feel the difference no matter what you're no matter what your routine okay now I'm supposed to say I use this and you should too and I do use this and you should too so I don't even need to be told that factor don't be giving you your shit eat smart at factormeals.com slash TESD 50 off and use code TESD 50 off to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year that's code TESD 50 off at factor meals.com for 50% off your first box plus breakfast for one year get delicious ready to eat meals delivered with factor offer only valid for new factor customers with code in qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase.

Number three. Oh my God. The final ad. What the fuck? The final ad. Don't worry. This message is sponsored by Raycon. If you're looking for a holiday gift, we've been using Raycon's essential open earbuds.

And honestly, they're so good. You love that you can play your music and still hear what's going on around you. Perfect for the gym or when you're out walking. And right now, they're up to 20% off from the holidays. So definitely grab them while you can. Guess why I bought Merry Beth for Christmas? I don't want her to hear this. Got her some Raycons.

There was some green, seal green recons that she wanted. So I was like, yep, just tell me what you want, and then you'll get it. Regular earbloods, unless it's so expensive, of course. Regular earbuds block out everything.

I can't hear someone calling your name, a car, hawking anything. These Raycon ones just sit outside your ear canal so you can really get a clear sound, but you can actually hear what's happening around you too. They're light and the ear hook part rotates so they'll actually stay in. You can wear them at the gym on walks,

doing stuff around the house. They don't fall out and they don't get uncomfortable. So here's a couple of features that make them your everyday go-to. Open your design. Breathable fit. Delvers comfort, safety and immersive sound audio

while keeping you aware. Multi-angular hook. Rotating your hook and crew. I mean, I already said all this shit. I'll say this. Multi-point connection. Connected multiple voices and switch seamlessly without hassle.

36 hours of battery life. Eight-hour earbuds plus 36-hour case equals days of non-stop listening. The essential open earbuds are here for the holiday season, and they're selling fast. Raycon audio products are up to 20% off this holiday season. Go to Raycon.com. Go to Raycon.com slash T-E-S-D open to save on Raycon audio products sitewide. Order by December 15th, guaranteed delivery by Christmas because great gifts shouldn't show up late.

This is a unique decision to do three straight. All right. We knocked them out, though, and now we can start talking again. Why didn't you stagger them? I just want to be done with them. Talk about Portland some more. I'm going to see get him after we record. Oh, are you?

Oh, nice. Yeah, I've got to have to bring him some things he needs from the office. He's got to go into rehab for about, could be up to a month. Jeez, man. I wonder if this will turn him on a healthier path because they're not going to overfeed him and he's not going to be drinking every goddamn night for a month. Well, yeah, I mean, he's obviously. Obviously, he's not going to be able to get any natties in him for quite some time.

Yeah, with Q, like, I wonder if it'll be like, you know what? I feel better. I feel better not drinking all the natty and I feel better not being slogged down with all this liquid and being wasted every night. Yeah, I have to think, like, Q's correct, though. You can't, he's not going to be eating the same dishes that he would have if he wasn't in the hospital. there are much more smaller portions and I guess

healthier plates than the butter what's it called he usually get the peanut butter fried fucking chicken oh chicken yeah

yeah good but yeah that's a long time and he's going to be in he could be in there on Christmas day how sad is that that's not good

but I mean where else would he be yeah I mean he would be with his dad and his side, you know. I don't know how much you can, like, how ambulatory he is, though. Like, can he walk around? I want him to start walking. Already, huh? Yeah.

Yeah. He said, they said that, like, he has to go over three, 21 hours of therapy a week. I met a minimum. And he was like, I don't even do 21 hours of real work at my job a week, he said. To the doctor. so he said he'll be working way harder at rehab than he does in real life maybe it'll change i'm telling you this might be a great opportunity for him to pivot into exciting new directions i hope so you know he he does take solace and know that

what what ailed him was not uh was not caused by his bad behavior it wasn't because of the drinking it wasn't because of eating like shit it was like it was it was just going to happen okay so there was it was just he like genetically this is well i mean you don't know what you don't know what happened it could have been he could have had uh he wonders if it was when he fell out of that canoe did something happen oh yeah that's what he mentioned yeah You mentioned that canoe thing. So there's, he does, I don't know. What?

Like, I can't, I find it very hard to believe that his extremely unhealthy weight, his extreme, like, you don't just fall out of a canoe and, and what happens, happened. Like, like a crush of vertebrae or something or whatever. Yeah, I would rather hear this from a doctor before I heard it from get him that his fucking morbidly obese lifestyle did not. affect this at all. That seems crazy because all that weight compresses, you know, your body. Honestly, I don't think it had any factor in what ailed him and what he had what had to be done. I think it was unavoidable, like he couldn't have avoided it. I guess like it just like it was an accidental thing, like a freak thing. I don't think it had anything to do with his lifestyle choices. I really don't. I don't think he, I just don't think if he was like, okay, I'm eating no natties and

straight, all-factor meals, you know, it still would have happened. I think it still would have happened, though, yeah. I am, you know, I'm sure this goes without saying, but like, I was enormously relieved to hear that it went so well. That was, that was a nice. Fine. I know, I don't, it went fine, the doctor. He didn't use the words so well.

He said the word's fine. It went fine. All right. I'm glad it does go so long. It was it was good. And it said it took up to a year, though, for him to get backed full range of what he had before this was ailing him, though. He said that the, uh, his biggest problem is he may not be able to look up that well. Yeah.

I told him looking up is overrated. Looking down is way more important. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I look down. Look at the floor. Yeah. Because you don't want any, you don't want to trip on anything.

You know, The only reason you look up is, you know, if something, you feel something, hit your head, you know. Some bird shit or something. That's really the only time I ever look up. If you think you got shit up. Oh, man. I hate to do this. Go ahead, Qio.

I don't know. I said I'm going to miss him for a month. Like, I, you know. Yes, I said even today when I walked in, it was weird that he's not here. Yeah, the office is quiet. You know, there's been no. rambling ramble free zone

non sequitur stories just flying left and right you know yeah when I saw him yesterday he seemed to be in good spirits and he did seem to be like he was like he wasn't really in pain he was like he seemed normal

you know yeah I think that I think that wore off I think the yeah I think he had the pain started to kick in last night that sucks he told me he was freaking out though after the operation

because they wouldn't give him his phones. Oh, really? Yeah, he said that he made such a fucking stink that eventually they had to go get the phones to fucking calm them down. Because he wanted to make sure that his father had heard the news. I did hear him at one point, for some reason, like when they were in the hallway before he came in the room, he didn't know we were in there. So he was talking to the people. And then he reminded somebody that he was on the spectrum. I don't know what it was about, but I just heard him say that.

I was like, yep, let's get him. But I'm sure his dad was fucking going bonkers, you know, because you hear four hours and then, you know, it's 10 o'clock and you still haven't heard anything. That can, that's just, like, excruciating. Yeah. Man, I wish we lived in a world where we could get the surgeon on this show to talk about it. Well, get him, get him, he said that he could, he could smell his own. He said that he felt his doctor was high on the spectrum as well. oh yeah yeah and he said that like he won't look at him his doctor like the doctor won't look at

him in the eye he said and then he texts me like right before it's the surgery's at two o'clock he texts me at 150 he goes I'm still not down there and he goes and I said well I'm sure the doctor you know it's just getting ready I go I wouldn't worry about it goes oh no no I'm glad that he's taking his time I don't want him to rush through things he goes he goes Oh, man. I love get him. I'm glad he's, I'm glad he's,

he's, he got that taken care of. Yeah, like I said, hopefully, yeah, now it's a much more easier existence for him.

Yeah. It did, it did hurt my heart to see him walking around like that. Dude, like I, he was so unbalanced. Yeah,

and he was just like feeling out every step. Like, I'd be driving home from the studio, and I'd just be thinking about him and be like, I'm not even fucking around. I'm not even saying it for a fact. Like, I'd be driving home, and it would, like, my heart would hurt. It would be like, if you see a dog, like, limping, you know, holding one paw up.

And you're like, I just want to help that poor creature. That's kind of like what Getham did to me. And I, like, I'm really happy that he, that he took care of. I know what a big motivation for him is, is that he, wants to be able to be, uh, you know, walking and handle, uh, Key West, he said. Oh, great. Oh, good. Oh, that's his goal. Yeah. Yeah. He mentioned it twice to me that like he wants to be, he wants to make sure that he's all better by, uh, April. Is it? Yeah. Yeah, April 10th. Wow. Okay. So I've done it again. I've inspired.

They're going to put a picture of you up on one of the wings. Like they're going to name it to be Brian Quinn wing of the hospital for all your efforts. There's a picture of Q where he says I did it again. And he texts me before I was leaving. I asked him like, you want me to bring you anything? You want a snack or anything? And he goes, he goes, are you going to bring anything? Teddy. I'm like, what the fuck? Are you insane? I go, I'm not going to try to bring a dog into a

hospital. You can barely get him into a movie theater. Right. And I go, what the fuck? No, I'm not bringing Teddy. And you know what? I fucking, I'm leaving the other night there. And sure enough, some fucking person is bringing a dog in the house. And it wasn't no service dog. Way more misbehaved than Teddy could ever be. This dog is bouncing everywhere, like a little poodle puppy. And I was like, what the fuck, man? I couldn't believe that this lady was bringing a dog getting to the hospital. Meanwhile, like, with you, they're like, license. Oh, you have it? Fuck you.

Go ride the escalator and jump. That kid's back on the escalator. Oh, yeah. We'd be remiss if we'd imagine, you know, on bad news of Kev's mom passing away. Yeah. Yeah. Grace is no longer with us. Very cool lady. Always very friendly. Always happy to see you. Like, she was cool. I mean yeah you know go ahead no I was I was just going to say like I would see grace you know when I worked for Kevin directly like she was always very nice to me but then like you know there would be periods where I didn't see grace for four years you know what I mean that I'd run into a comic con or whatever and always so kind and always so concerned with how I was doing and like she really was like a really really great great lady I I was sad to hear that she passed on. I mean, he was always good to his mom. And, you know, that's, she was, she, I mean, his job was to make his mama proud he did it because she was so proud of him and all that he, he accomplished.

She told me privately that she wasn't really that one time. This is a long time ago. Yeah. Yeah, it sucks. Man, it does, man. It's just, we're getting older, man. and this shit like this is going to start happening. Yeah, like people you know start dropping off.

You're like, oh, shit. Yeah. All right, let's think of something happier. Well, there was, I mean, I did get an email from somebody wanting to know why I didn't mention Ace Freilly's passing on the pod. Oh, really? Yeah. The only reason I didn't mention it was because it probably had happened. He passed away during a week we didn't record.

And then it was the Halloween episode, and then you're three weeks removed and you didn't mention it and you kind of, you know, forgot. But, yeah, he's fraily, the Spaceman. So what words have you come up with since then to make up for it? Go buy his solo album from 1978. It is the best kiss album ever. Agreed. And I was on a kiss pod for many years. Yeah, that is the greatest kiss album.

And it's all by one guy. I mean, it showed you how talented he was. He was probably the most talented of all four members. But, yeah. it sucks but where again you're going to start losing these guys you loved

these artists and that you from your childhood but with him it was like it was almost like not preventable but like he just bumped his head oh yeah I mean no that's how he died

I think he had to fall in his studio yeah you fell down in the studio and bumped his head and then it was like a couple days later right like didn't you go into the hospital a couple days later I'm not sure of the timeline but I don't even know if that's accurate

I did hear that rumor, too, that it was from a fall in the studio, but, um, I mean, you, you just never know what it's going to be, man, whoever thinks it's going to be fucking, you know, just hitting your head. Right, yeah. That's how my grandfather died. He, uh, he was, my mom's, uh, Pam's dad. He was, he was, our age, he was like 57 and he fell off a ladder when he was, like, working on something outdoors, fell backwards, hit his head, didn't go to the hospital, next day he died. you know who knows if it could have been prevented back then they did go to the hospital and they still couldn't prevent it so you know everybody dying well you know what walt i got one more ed if you want no i do what i do i missed oh okay just the war of the undead this is the audio book yeah we keep forgetting to talk about it q but there is an audio book out there which is available both on audio audible and tellem stevedave dot com it's the uh War of the Undead Radio play with all kinds of different voice talents, people you've never heard of. It's awesome.

Yeah. And there's a great podcast, a couple great podcasts, as well as the audio reading. It's well worth your $6.99 on tellem, stevedave.com or whatever the price may be on Audible. That's pretty inexpensive. Which is a lot more on Audible, but I guess you get the ease of Audible. If you have some free credits, you could use it towards that. Right. And we also have the Christmas pod coming up. So we'll be here next week with a regular pod. And then the next week will be Christmas. Yeah, I'm going to take two weeks off after Christmas. And then we'll come back after.

Oh, yeah. We always come back after New Year's. Yeah. There's always a couple weeks off. I need to recharge those batteries. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Done. Done. Done. Yeah. I'm looking at my calendar now. So you're saying next week, the week of the eighth, we're doing an episode, then the Christmas episode, then two weeks off. Yep. All right. So that's a pretty long stretch. Yeah. But until then, got to talk about some fat news.

Oh. Boom, Bobba, Boom, Bobba, Boom, Bob, Boom, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Schumer lately I have not I I I oh no that's not true I saw a picture of her she's like she's in a red dress I don't know what picture I saw but I was really happy for her she looks like like way

healthier right like she's a lot healthier a lot thinner yeah she uh I guess she had some kind of disease I can't remember what it was that I don't know if like that was somebody right like one of her fits like every once in a while you hear these stories about like there'll be a a person like a famous person and they're like you know on stage or they're on TV or they're in a movie and somebody will be like hey I noticed this puffiness around your eyes it could be this

or I noticed this and I think somebody said that to her they're like you know I noticed one of her fans was like I have the same affliction whatever it was that would make her face all puffy and shit and fat so I guess somebody turned her on to that oh wow how the fuck do you get as far as she does and as rich as she is

and not have a doctor pick up on that Oh wow I knew that But anyway She's skinny now There was a Now this is

I was talking to Troy about this There's a lady that was on a Delta flight Okay Delta passenger cries After catching glimpse of seat mates Seatmates body shaming text I feel like a prisoner Now this is a passenger on a Delta

Airlines flight silently cried ahead of a two-hour flight after she saw her seatmate, send a demeaning text complaining about being wedged next to a huge woman. Oh, it would feel terrible. Like if I texted that to somebody and then that lady saw it, oh, I would feel, I would just be, I would feel like an inch. I would just want to crawl into the seat and just never come out. Yeah.

So this lady said, we've taken off and I can't stop crying. The man next to me sends one text. Erg, huge woman said, next to me. I saw because I... The fuck is wrong with... I mean, you can't... Like, if you're going to send texts like that,

make sure that you're not showing your phone to everybody. It can't be like our text where, like, the font is so big that anybody can see it from the back row even if you're in first class. Yeah, you have some... Oh, that's horrible. I bet you the dude, too, is probably not even, like,

mortified. I bet she's just like, who-hoo, whatever. well I mean look let's just the devil's advocate here what the devil's advocate here like I mean I've been on flights sat next to a great big person and it's not comfortable like you are victimized a little bit like if he hadn't sent that text all my sympathies would be with him he would be suffering silently yeah it's like I don't think you should you know I don't I wish she hadn't seen that text, but he didn't turn to her and be like, yo, fatty, keep your flab on the other, on the other side of the thing.

Like, he was complaining to his wife or something about the fact that this person is so fucking big that like, she's taken up half his seat, which has happened to me. And it's like, motherfucker, you know, like, why aren't you buying two seats? Like, so there's two sides, I guess, to every story. But, yeah, I feel bad for her. I do feel bad for the lady. Nobody wants that. Well, she says that the man seemed to realize that his text was rude and quickly started to send a series of empty text to push the body-shaming message farther up his screen until it was out of sight.

I mean, how much is she looking at this guy's phone? Why not just put the phone away? Yeah. Yeah, you're about to take off, probably. She explained that she didn't need two seats, and the man was actually spilling more into her seat. Whoa. She, since she posted the now viral video, it's garnered more than a million views and 121,000 likes. and she said that

she had already lost 60 pounds and that's why it was difficult to hear because she's on a weight loss journey, as they say. Well, well, well, now I'm on her side. Now this guy's taking up two seats and this woman's doing something to improve his health and she's getting shit from this guy. Yeah.

No, I'm with her now. Some people criticized her for seemingly snooping over her seatmate's shoulder. That's a scumbag. move, yes, yes. Yeah. But the biggest fat news, if you guys are ready to hear it, is that it's not OZempic,

but it's an OZempic-like drug that I started taking a couple weeks ago. Really? Get out of here. Yeah. I'm shooting for Q West, be back in shape. I've done it again. I've done it again, baby. You've inspired me?

No, I wouldn't raise my arms yet. It's all because of Q? You went to a doctor and they were like, you, you qualify? Because you're, you're not, you're not in that stratosphere. I would think that you would be like, yeah, you're, you're, you qualify to, for a drug rather than just hard work. Well, they, I mean, I think it's a little, they're a little bit looser with it than they were in the beginning now. So it's like, you send in, like, photos of your body from different angles and then I guess they try to, like, estimate your BMI. they take your height and your weight and all that other shit and then they manufacture they

concoct this uh this this drug that you know you it makes you not hungry i'll tell you that much like it does does work with that like you're not worried that it's too new on the market and that like either could be like a fallout of this in a couple years and you're like you know that i did think of that yeah but then i was like i really want to fit into my clothes in q west like really like for who though like for myself that q west that you're like you For myself. Yeah. I just like I have so many cool like clothes for summer and I can't fit it to any of them out.

You can't get them let out? No, not as much as they would need to be let out. Because I bought them when I was like at my prime like when I was like right before I got married. I was like 198 pounds. Okay. I thought you're like you're like just like you're prime like I brought him a chess king in 19807. Oh yeah.

Fucking chess king, man. Wow. Yeah, I would be terrified to take that. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I'm just like, yeah, that's, that's fucking, that's alien tech and shit. Like now all of a sudden there's, there's a pill that, like, doesn't require you to exercise now. That's weird.

Well, no, they say diet and exercise, too. They're not like, this is not a miracle drug that's just going to take the weight off if you just take this. How long have you been on it? About three weeks. And what are some of the side effects that could happen? I'm not saying they did happen, but what are the things I warned you about? Nausea, constipation. I haven't had any of that because I've been drinking a fuck ton of water, so I think that helps a lot.

What does water help with, though? The constipation. In case you get it, you know, it just, like, lubricates your intestines and keeps everything flowing freely. So I remember, like, when I had a, when I was taking opiates, they contribute to constipation. I was not drinking a lot of water then, and oh, boy. Oh, boy. Not fun. Wow.

That's the, that's the silver bullet, right? That's the, that's what everybody in Hollywood's taken, right? The Olympic stuff? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's what, Amy Schumer, there was a revolt against her because she was so into like the fat body positivity and shit. And now she got skinny. She was on that.

They turned on her. Yep. Don't assume. It's turned on her. Yeah, but she looks great. Yeah. She does look so much. Let me tell you something.

As being a guy who has been fat and has been thin, nobody ever comes up to you and tells you you look great when you're fat. But when you lose weight and you're thin, people like, Hey, you're looking good. You're looking better. Look at you lost weight. Mm-hmm. Okay. I mean, I mean, there's a, hopefully, you know, it goes great, though.

It's my vanity, Walt. It's my vanity that's at play here. I need to be great looking at 58. Already married. No reason to keep going. I'll tell you. Are you, you don't have to, here's maybe get off these weird drugs and just go by yourself some fucking just for men.

Yeah? Yeah. It's true. It doesn't. It's not going to hurt you. You know, it's been, it's a proven quality FDA has approved it and you don't got to worry about and, you know, any of these weird side effects coming out, like 10 years later or you got like a third butthole or something. That's, there are, there are some side effects that I heard, like, ozempic face. It's like people's like, if you use it too much, your jaws get very like angular and skeletal and shit.

You can, you can overuse it, like take more than you need to? I think so, yeah. Oh, my God. Jesus. Yeah. And how much do you take a day? Oh, I only take it once a week. it's once a week it's a self-injection it's a shot yeah it's a shot and the needle is like that's what like at first i was like i don't know i'm not sure if i can do this dude you're getting fucking shots left and right you're like a pin cushion epidurals

ozumics yeah he's like he had to stick me three times for the epidural now the ozambic stuff yeah but i like to maintain it's the same doctor no no no it's the same doctor no this i did it all online the uh the ozabic type stuff who's administering the needle me oh my it's so it's so small though you don't even feel it needles now Well, I always have because, like, the testosterone, like, that's a needle, but that's a different kind. It's like you just push it against your skin and then it fills up, like, the tube empties. You don't even feel it. You don't have to find a vein or anything? No, no, nothing like that. No, nothing like that. It's all, like, subcutaneous.

Just like under your skin, like just under the, just under the skin. So we'll see how that goes. I'll keep everybody updated. How many months you on it? Just three weeks now. Three weeks. Yeah. Have you seen benefits?

Like, are you? I was, I started at 255, went down to 251.4 the first week. Then it was Thanksgiving, so I went back up to 251.8. And now I'll see this one. Oh, did you curtail your Thanksgiving behavior? Not as much as I should have, evidently, because I gained half a pound. I mean, half a pound. I mean, but did you, were you like cognizant of like, I got to make sure, you know, I don't eat too much.

Yeah. Like, I don't get, like, is turkey? turkey's pretty good yeah no no no turkey's great yeah it's the stuffing and the potatoes and the desserts and all that shit those are like the desserts are my weakness that's where i falter is the sweets i got a sweet tooth sweet teeth what about what about as a as a fellow volcano user like what about when you get high and you're like all right time to stuff my fucking face and enjoy myself for once it is so difficult to not do it it's still difficult that's super difficult to not eat, yeah.

It doesn't cure the munchies. No. Mm. But I have to maintain because I'm like, am I going to feel better eating this shit food that like some kind of donut or some kind of snack food? Or am I going to feel better when it's April and I'm like, oh, my shirt fits. Right.

That's what I have to keep telling myself, you know, while fucking downing all this fucking water. I was talking to Walt about it. Like, I also want a hydration kick because I, uh, even, I think, yeah, I think I talked about this where I went to. Yeah, we spoke about this. Yeah, I went to get my blood drawn and they're like, you're dehydrated. So I've been drinking 100 ounces of water

a day. It's a lot. Yeah. It's a real lot. Now, has that been recommended 100 ounces by your doctor or are you just going on the, like this? You always do this. Remember, you're going to pump iron? Right, yeah, and then I'm in the hospital. Yeah, like, are you drinking too much water?

Now it's like that wee for a wee where I'm like, that wasn't called hypoxia or something. Like you're going to have a dry, drowning you and you fall asleep and shit. No, I went online and it's like as a person with my height and my weight, here's how much water you should drink. 100 ounces.

100 ounces, yeah, which is short of a gallon. A lot of people drink like a gallon or two a day. It's nuts. Your wife's a big water drinker, isn't she? You know what? She used to be, but I have to scold her every once in a while. Really? Yeah, I have to tell her like, don't you fucking worry about my water intake.

I haven't seen you drink any water in the last fucking few hours. I can just imagine in the 30 years you've been married, you've never spoken to her once like that. Yeah, oh yeah, it's definitely not that tone, but in my head it is. Right, yeah. I might say quiet in my head, but. You know what it doesn't, you know what boggles my mind? Because I even told the doctor, I was like, how come Sprite looks like water and it's not good enough?

Like, why can't it just be spright? Bubbles. Right? It looks just like water, I told a doctor. Why can't it just be spright? So does arsenic. It doesn't mean anything. Because I'm just like, man, I can fucking do 100 ounces of sprite.

No problem. Lickety split. You know, in my sleep, I could do a sprite. But the water, man, holy shit. Yeah, I agree with you because I went to Chili's the other day and I drank. I had a, you know, a couple Diet Coke's and I'm like, but I can't count this. Because I remember you saying that like, the doctor said, don't count soda.

Right. So I'm like, but this is like almost, you know, after probably 20 ounce soda. So I'm like, that would have been 40 ounces for the day I would have knocked out. But it doesn't count. I'm not even worrying so much about the calories and the sugar or anything. I'm just talking about the water benefits. Right. Like it looks like water.

It feels like water. Doesn't taste like water. But isn't it good enough, Doc? On a sprite regimen? All-sprite diet. Did you guys, speaking of old businesses like Chess King and Rickles, you said? Did you have those out in Staten Island? We didn't have a Rickles.

We had Chess King, was in the Staten Island Mall. So what was your hardware supplier, but before there was a little bit of Lenton? We're covered in Ace Hardware on Staten Island. Oh, okay. Yeah, and we have a lot of independent, actually, hardware shops on Staten Island. But I don't know if you guys were partial to Chi-Chi's back in the day. The restaurant? Yeah.

Yeah, I remember Chi-Chi's. I seen it on the side of the road. I loved, there was a Chee-Chi's on Staten Island that like when I was a, you know, I mean, I was a kid, you know, loved it. And I just read that Chee-Chi's is coming back after 21 years. Really? Yeah. I was in California years ago and went to a Chee-Chi's and liked it. So, but there's never been any around here.

Yeah. It was one on Staten Island. Island that was fucking dope as fuck and I and uh I was sad they went out of business because they had like a company wide listeria fucking thing where they like people were dying and they just folded 21 years ago and somebody was like we're bringing them back so they're starting to open them up again so I'm I'm excited to go to chee cheese was that um like Mexican food yeah yeah yeah that's why yeah fried ice cream shit like that except inside of cheechees yeah all right no I'm excited

I've got all kinds of stories here. Well, women's farts smell worse than men's. How to make yourself poop regularly in the morning. Why do the women smell worse than men? You want to know that? Is it because there's science to back it up? Because of their, um, some sort of breakdown in their digestive tracks. Like, do they not?

Well, it says, well, it's not good for us. It's not good for guys. On average, humans fart up to 23 times a day, but not all of those twos are created equal. The women's gas smells worse than men's, and there's a scientific reason why. But next time you catch a whiff of your wife's wind, take comfort. That stink could be a sign that she's less likely to develop Alzheimer's. Really?

Yeah. They recruited 16 healthy adults with no history of gastrointentional issues and each had them strapped on a flatchez collection system, which was essentially a rectal tube connected to a bag. And then they chowed down on pinto beans and took a laxative. Jesus, can you imagine me being a part of this study? It sounds like a fucking free show, man. Somebody was jerking off door in that whole fucking thing. Yeah, it sounds very kinky, doesn't it? Yeah, it sure does.

They put samples to a sniff test. They were brought in from... Who's taking that test? Who's taking that sniff test? Like, they're going to pay somebody to be like... It says the doctor and his colleagues ran a gas chromatographs mass spectroscopic analysis to break down exactly what was in those bags. Oh, so they don't sniff it. The sniff test is done by a computer, I guess.

Two, oh, no, two judges are brought in to rate each fart on a scale of zero to eight with aping very offensive, and they were unaware they were smelling human flatulets. Oh, that's how they get it. Yeah, they don't tell the poor schmocks what they're smelling. Because nobody signed up. Well, I guess they would have people sign up for it, but you don't want those people in your building. Well, it says here's the reason. Men tended to pass larger volumes of gas, but female flatulents contain a significantly high. higher concentration of hydrogen sulfide, and they had a greater odor than intensity than

men's. And that's why women get more embarrassed about their farts. Yeah, so I guess, yeah, it says, well, hydrogen sulfide is highly toxic in large amounts. Small doses, like those found abundantly in women's gas, may help protect aging brain cells against Alzheimer's disease. So that's the whole reason. Because they have more hydrogen sulfide, but it's good for them. for us guys so guys it doesn't matter how much we fart it's still not going to really affect

our our brains yeah i guess not we're fucked every way you look you're fucked women got it so easy i know you did fucked coming fucked going just fucked over and over again uh i don't know guys i don't know anymore There's all kinds of stuff going on. Oh, you can talk about micropenuses, if you want. This is a big week for, like, we were talking about, we were talking about Hitler having the micropine. And since then, I found out that the Golden State Killer, you remember him?

Yeah. He may only have been caught because of his micro penis, because I guess, like, because he was also known as the East Bay rapist before he was the Golden State killer. And a lot of women were like, yeah. That's not much there. The women that he raped. So he got busted with a micropine. Well, because it does something, of course.

Like, that's, to me, it's not surprising that there's a formation. Yeah, like, if you got a micro penis that there's going to be psychological ramifications, you know. Yeah. I get it. I, you know, I've said on this show many, many times. Everybody knows how important dicks are. dudes you know a lot of your identity gets wrapped up in that bad boy yeah but most people just go buy a fucking nice sports car they don't terrorize the fucking community yeah for you for decades

murdering and raping their way through the east bay micro penis though is different from like small penis micro penis is like micro's bad that's a medical community telling you that you're a fucking little little little tiny cockboy yeah uh you know that's we've all agreed on this this length. Science is telling you that you, sir, have the smallest penis around. I might snap and start killing people then, too. Yeah, you don't know.

Could affect you. Jeffrey Epstein victim described Jeffrey Epstein's penis as extremely deformed, small, and lemon-shaped. Ew. Mm-hmm. Now, lemons normally, you know, are like sort of oblong? I've never had a lemon I never even held a lemon I don't think

I'm gonna I'm gonna break out if you held a lemon break out in something and also I'm not sure if you guys are familiar with Michael Ray Bauer whose donkey lips from Salute Your Shorts Do you remember that show Q?

No, I never saw it Okay, it was an early 90s Nickelodeon show that he was on Yeah, I remember it I just never saw it And he has a podcast, and I caught part of it the other day. And he was just like, I just want everybody to know, I have a micro penis. He has like a real heavy lisp. And he's like, was this a joke or is it was a revelation?

No, it was just a revelation, I guess, that he was like. Why? What's the impetus for telling this to the world? My theory would be clicks. Sympathy? Sympathy and clicks. Yep. There's no, because Mary Beth was there.

She's when I was listening to it. And she's like, turns me, she's like, why would anybody say that on, Like, why would anybody be like, oh, by the way, guys, I have a micropeeries. Yeah? I have a theory. I think because it's like getting in front of it. But, you know, like, he already feels whatever he feels. I don't want to say the word shame, but like, he already feels something, you know, about the fact that he has a micro penis.

So, like, if you get ahead of it a little bit and then, like, you have sex with a woman that has heard that you have a micro penis, there's no, you know, you know. There's no reveal and shame. It's like, hey, you knew you were getting into. Yeah, but this woman would have to listen to his podcast, which I think most people probably don't. Sure, I guess. Unless it spreads around, unless it spreads somehow throughout Hollywood. I mean, spreading right now. I mean, aren't we doing our part?

We are. You're right. Do you think that would qualify you for, like, maybe, like, to get, like, handicapped plates for your car? So, you know, would that, would that? It should. I think it should. I think we can all come together and be like, guys, if you're born with a micro penis, there's no reason you should have to walk all the way in a parking lot. I agree.

Like, life's been shitty enough to you. Park up. Park nice and close at the mall. Yeah. Tell them to see, Dave.