Tell Em Steve-Dave - #671: Q-pae

Episode Date: March 30, 2026

Q farms figs, Jimmy’s bachelor party, Bry and q play ‘Q-less’, fast food, communicating by flare, Walt calls Q on claims he can bring in a ‘high-caliber’ guest. https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/tesd

I mean, you guys attempted to sexualize things. I mean, I don't know that that's the way to go. Even some of the Jeff abandoned Star Wars. What the fuck is going on over there, Getham? Turn that shit off. You fucking shut Art 2D2 off for two seconds while I'm pouring out my goddamn heart. Tell them, Steve, Dave. Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell them Steve Dave.

I'm sitting here. Well, I never get to introduce Get Em first. I know people have Get Em. How you stanking? Brad? Uh, BQ. Hello. And what appears to be a very sleepy, Walt Flanagan.

Yeah, it's a cloudy out. You're feeling a little... Yeah, I've been cloudy for a while. For a while? For about a week. Well, that's a long time to be cloudy for. Yeah, what happened? Uh, I, um, we, I didn't want to talk about it, but, uh, yeah, I didn't think I, I thought I was doing a good job hiding it, but, uh, I lost socks.

We lost socks. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Oh, but. I've been kind of, yeah, in a bit of, you know. A funk?

Yeah, funk. That's the perfect word for it. Oh, man. Yeah, she had cancer. She was, uh, we were willing to go to the ends of the earth, though, you know. Yeah. She was such a fiercely, uh, fighter. You know, she, she'd beat everything.

So we were ready to go. but the doctor said you know she had a tumor inside of her that like if it burst it would be agonizing so so we decided to follow the the vet's advice yeah stinks it's awful yeah I'm sorry usually unless you have an extraordinarily bad pet it's the only

bad part of owning a pet is the end otherwise yeah it's like yeah but I told my wife I was like with weird they're talking about treatments and I was like weighing and everything I was like this dog has beaten everything and is so strong and is so fiercely

fucking just like doesn't get anything down we can't like not offer her anything that is available to them but they said it wouldn't have worked though right I just don't want to be like

when the next time if we see you know in the next life she's like well how come you didn't try why'd you betray me Why didn't you do it? Like, I could have beat this. Yeah.

So I was like, we got to do it. But it turned out there was really little. The odds were not good that even the operation she needed. She might not have even survived that. It's being her advanced age. Right. I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, that sucks.

She's been around forever. Yeah. How old was she? 15. Oof. God damn, man. That's a long. time.

That's a long time. And I was thankful that in one aspect, though, that I, the latter part of her life, I don't know how long I've been, I haven't been at the stash, but once I left the stash, both dogs and now Teddy were given much more to do on day-to-day basis rather than just staying home and waiting for the family who leaves in the morning and then comes back. Right. And they're home alone all day. Just sleeping, I guess.

But, you know, they did, they were like, you know, she did quite a bit during those years. Well, not much. Just coming here. Yeah, but still. Yeah. It seems like your constant companion, you know. Oof. Oh, man, that's brutal.

I should have been the end of the show, not the beginning. Yeah. You asked. Yeah, I did. Yeah, I get it. That's tough, man. Shit. Yeah.

But you have, like, a last day? like a good last day or? No, that wasn't a good. No, the last day was just, you know, the news and everything. And it's like, it's that time. Look, I planted a fig tree this morning. Fig? A fig, yeah.

Okay. My grandfather has this fig tree. And he planted it in one of my family's yards 40-something years ago. And I took a cutting and I've been growing the cutting. And I finally grew like a tree. And I planted it today. In my yard, I dug a hole, put it in there, and I sprinkled some of Benjamin's ashes in it. Oh, yeah?

Yeah, so it's, again, that's three years now, you know what I mean? Yeah. It's just, it's just... Do you like figs? I mean, as much as an ex-Italian, yeah. I grew up with them in my yard and stuff, you know? I saw the way, I've never had a fig, but I saw the way it looked when we did that thing for Sunday Jeff's show. I mean, you guys attempted to sexualize figs.

I mean, I don't know that that's the way to go. Did your family do, like the winter wrapping it up in plastic and stuff? For many years, no. Okay. And then when I bought the house that I'm in now, I paid this company to come and dig up that original tree that my grandfather did. Okay. Which, again, was there for four years and replant it. And now every year I get it wrapped and stuff like that properly.

We used to do it and then, you know, then I found pussy and nobody cared about the tree anymore, but it survived anyway. And so now I have two fig trees in my yard. My family had a similar tree, and one relative would put fishheads. Yeah, yeah. And then the rest of the family would claim that the face tastes like fish. Yeah. That's funny. Yeah.

Apparently that's like the best thing. Yeah. Some fish stuff down there. Or stuff from the fireplace. Apparently when you burn wood. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The biocharg.

Yeah. If you do that, it's apparently really good for it. And what will you expect to, like, what's a good season for a fig tree? How many figs will you? Oh, it depends. It depends on the tree. Like, you can get a lot. Like, if you, how big you let it grow.

Enough. or you could like, you know, just like have a roadside little side. Oh, no, no. I'd have to grow like four or five trees for that. Like peach baskets full of... No, no, no. If anything, I'm like, you guys want a fig from my tree? Oh, so it's that sparse of a...

Well, this, since we moved it, it had something called root shock. So for eight years, it didn't... That tree that my grandfather planted, it didn't fruit at all. Last year, it just started fruiting, but like small, tiny ones. So every year, it'll get better and better. I also have to keep it at a certain size for where it is. So it'll never be like a giant, like fig tree. Do you look into it, like, do you see more?

Do you see more to it than most people would see when you see it come back to life like that? Do you think that there's some sort of, like, supernatural, not supernatural. No, no. His grandfather's looking over him while he tends to his fig tree. I think it was just one more fig tree from like, he was a farmer. He was in Italian. And that's what he did in Italy. I think it was just one more fig tree for him.

But for me, it's, you know. No, but I mean, saying like since it didn't do anything for eight years, it didn't have. No, they told me, they told me it wouldn't do it. They were like, yeah, it's going to have root shock probably. So it's right on target. Okay. Yeah. Trying to assign some sort of other world.

Yeah, I mean, that's what I would do that, though. Yeah. I, I, when I was, when I was digging. I want me to have a fig this season. Thanks, grandpa. When I was digging the hole today, you know, I'm not a hole digger. by nature. Yeah, what is that like?

Did you like, were you just looking at it? Like, well, where do I start? No. No. I mean, I'm not that. I'm not a complete, like, I mean, I've done holes before. But there was, like, I was like, guys. You just kick at the dirt and like, where, where is it?

Like, how much money do I have to give you to move, dirt? Let me ask you how to do this. Spiel out hundreds. Is there a YouTube video? I can watch? There was a feeling like when I was putting, because what I did is I did a cutting last year from the fig tree for my grandfathers,

and I grew it over the winter in my house. And it's now, it's like three feet high and it's leafing and stuff. So when I was planting it, I was like, oh wow, it's kind of cool that like 45 years ago my grandfather planted the other one. And like here I am decades later doing this one,

which is an offshoot of that. And there was a fun little continuity to that that I liked. but I mean I'm not you know fancying myself a farmer of any sort I dug a hole and put a you know You might have a green thumb next thing you know I think I can have a green thumb You grew that weed

Fucking wheat's good too That that wind is great You're growing wheat too? Yeah I've been doing that for a few seasons I grow like three or four plants a year And then indoors or outdoors I start indoor around January So they sprout

And then once the weather turns I go out and I play those around my property. Do you have any catnip planted? No, I do think about that sometimes, but I already have so many cats around my property that I'm like, what am I going to? I'm track more.

At a certain point, like they start fighting, pissing all over the place back there. And it's legal to grow that? Up to five plants. Up to five plants. Do you keep it? Make sure you're, or do you have six or seven? I know. I did. I was doing five.

But, like, the planting and the growing is easy part. It's like, then you have to harvest. You have to turn it upside down. You have to wait, and so it gets real bad. And I was like, I don't do this five times. So I cut it down to three. It doesn't look like Tyson's farm. No, no.

Although it does, like when they fully bloom and they have the buds, it smells like weed in my yard. Like fresh, nice weed. You track the stonters to your yard. Yeah, they're sleeping in the blue stone at the back and shit. Yeah. So you might have a green thumb. You don't know.

See how this fig tree does. I believe I have a... I believe I could have a green thumb if I put the time and effort in, which I'm just not going to do you right now. Yeah. You know. Just don't go too crazy. I'll get there.

I want to get there. I was thinking about this the other day. What do you guys think of this? Like, all right. So, you know, I guess it's just midlife crisis time now that I turned 50 because I was like, I was just thinking about myself and my life and being like, wow, like, how many versions... I'm not going to word this right, but I'm like... Like, I'm not the same person I was when I was 16, obviously, right?

None of us are. And I'm like, all right, well, I'm also not the same person. I don't feel like the same person I was in my 20s. So that's a different version of myself. And now I'm like, well, wow, when this current version of myself, when, like, if you're looking at your life through errors, right, and different versions of yourself through the years. Or in my case, errors. Yeah, life full of the errors.

then when did I make the switch to being the version of myself that I am now? Right. And that's an interesting thought. So then I was thinking, all right, let's think about the last 10 years. And I'm like, I'm not that guy either. Like, I'm not, like, it was all about work. It was all about the TV show. It was all about the touring.

It was all about this. And I'm like, I'm not that guy anymore. Like, I don't tour. I can. I don't want to. You know what I mean? I don't. You know, the TV show, we cut it down to, you know, we used to do 32 episodes.

I think we're doing 18 now. I'd cut it down even less if I could because the TV show doesn't matter as much as it. It's more part of what I did rather than what I'm doing. Right. And then I'm like, oh, wow. I was like, so if I'm in this weird transitional period between that guy and who I'm becoming, I'm like, who am I now? And I'm like, all right, all these things that used to matter.

You're like, who am I? Yeah, like who, what? What matters to me now? And then I was thinking about, wow, I understand everybody listening to this. It sounds like I'm babbling in a midlife crisis. And that's only because I am. Smoked in some of his crop. No, I haven't smoked in days.

I haven't smoked in days. But, and then part of it, too, was like reading. I opened that book, the Super Absolute Super Man, You Ballame. And it's gorgeous. It's fucking gorgeous. It's like the pages are so big. Yeah. You know what I mean?

The artwork is. It's the scope that the story. deserves to be read. Yeah. And not only the scope of what the story meant to comics, but like the scope of what that particular story meant to me. You know what I mean? Because I loved comics when I was younger,

but that was the one that was like, that like, God, it's hooks in me, you know? That's the one that's in your, the pocket of your most, the time in your life when it could make the most impact. And it did. Yeah. And that story,

if that event happens today, it might not, it wouldn't even, it wouldn't have the same. Not at all. Yeah, it has to be at that ripe age to hit that spot and make it feel like it was important to you. And not only was it, but like the book that you gave me gives it the presentation it deserves for having that level of importance in my own life and pouring over the artwork and pouring over the coloring. So gorgeous.

I don't think they redid it, but, you know, it just looks big. And I was like, man, it was like, it's just weird to, like, also recognize these touchstones in your life from being like, it's from 35 years ago or whatever it was, you know what I mean? And what it just meant the world to me? What the fuck is going on over there, get him? Turn that shit off. You fucking shut R2D2 off for two seconds while I'm pouring out my goddamn heart. Trying to figure out who he is, Christseek. So you think you're in another cocoon phase and you're about to emerge from another cocoon.

and be a different cue. Yeah, I think that's right. Or I'm already starting to come out of that cocoon and figuring out who I, who. And what was the last time you think you came out of a cocoon? It had to be, it had to be sometime with the TV show where it took over my life and changed the course of my life. You know what I mean? And became like suddenly I had to navigate people knowing who I am and, and, you know, that's not an easy thing to deal with because you're like, yeah, I'm.

I don't feel good about myself. You know what I mean? Well, those early days. Yeah. And, like, people being like, I love the show. Like, you have to learn to accept that in a way that isn't off putting to yourself. You know what I mean? And I think some people go the wrong way with it.

And some people go the right way with it. So it has to be somewhere, obviously the fire department at 28 was a big one for me. I loved being a fireman. I felt like a fireman. But there had to be a transition between firemen and TV show. that I didn't recognize while it was happening. But looking back, I'm like, oh, yeah, like, yeah, obviously you fucking idiot. Like, the TV show becoming so successful replacing the fire department is a huge growth

that I had to navigate and stuff like that. And now I'm at least old enough and lucky enough to recognize I'm in the middle of that again. And that's awesome because I'm like, oh, maybe I just want to fucking plant fig trees. I don't know. So how many times have you, do you think as a person you've emerged from a cocoon? It's a great question. I don't know. I don't know.

I mean, obviously. Well, you got to do. Or do you think it's like 10 year intervals? I don't know. I think it comes fast and furious when you're a teenager because, you know, I got into horror and stuff like that and comic books and stuff like that and started developing my own attitude towards it like 11, 12, you know what I mean? And but then women hit, girls hit.

And then you're like, oh, fucking, this is nice. I don't know. So maybe, let's say, one per decade. So you're talking about five. And then sprinkle one more on top that I'm not, yeah, something like that. All right. How many cocooned you think, Brian? Yeah.

I thought I was still in one. I was just waiting to bust out. I don't know. I mean, I guess like the beginning of the TV show, the end of the TV show. Well, the drug era. The drug era. Yeah. You beating that.

TV show. Like, we make fun of the drug era a lot. but like you got out of it you know what I mean and that's that's not that's not easy it's called addiction for a reason right do you you you look at the um the TV show comic bookman as a as emerging from a cocoon two times not really no I think I think came out of the cocoon right before the show like when we started doing tell him Steve Dave started coming out and the TV show came and then the drug shit came

and I guess yeah that would have wrapped them over 2017 and that's when we started Patreon it was weird it was fun it was it was it was an indicator of how the TV show how how it plays an impact in my life

and and and how little it did because we were we had to go to Lytle me and get them and we were listening to the local radio station and the topic was have you ever been on TV for whatever reason and get him goes you should call and I was like when the fuck if I ever been on TV I said

that's like for seven seasons because he was like well I was I was at a devil's game once and I was on TV then that was the first thing I thought that is funny man that is the first like in 1980 I went to my first devil game of my wife not the first one I've been but together

and during the middle, during the late stages of the game, the crowd left, you know, with 10 minutes left, and we got to go down on the glass. And I knew from watching the game so many times that we got to be on TV when they do these close-ups of when the puck's in the scrum right in front of us. And I remember going home and watching it and being like jazzed.

And that's the first thing I thought of. And I was like, well, I don't know if this is engaging enough to call the radio station I said in my head. Yeah, it was like it just like kind of flew right over my head. What do you think that means? I don't think it had the... I don't know if I allowed it to have any impact. I mean, it never seemed like you wanted to do it.

I don't know if I didn't want to do it. I like the money. Sure. I wish that was still around. Or did you just feel like you weren't on TV? It was just like going into work almost. Yeah, yeah. Well, you never watched it, so it probably didn't feel like it.

Unless somebody came up and I was like, I love the TV show. That's when you're reminded of it. Oh, yeah, so do I. Or I hate the TV show. That's when you remind you. That's so do I. I have to think, I think my cocoon. is, I guess becoming a dad

had to be the most major cocoon of all. Yeah, I hadn't thought of that. That one, that changes you forever. It makes you really see things differently. Forever. You know, it doesn't stop.

Yeah. Just because you know, I have adult children. You know, it's still, it's still. Still tracking them, still worrying. Is there, now that Oliver's around, is there a even bigger difference, feel or? No.

It's, okay. No. Not yet. Okay. Yeah. Well, you don't realize it because maybe you're in that. Oh, yeah. Maybe I'm in the metamorphosis state.

Yeah. Crystal. Do you still worry about the girls as much? Like, and that doesn't go away? Or does it get to, like, look, their adults, they have a handle? A little bit. A little bit as they get older and you, you deal with it better, I think. Yeah.

Wasn't it just a couple weeks ago that you're like, you're in a hospital? No, no. No, that was a story I told or recounted that happened a while ago, but I just remembered it, though. Yeah, no. It definitely, as they get older, you feel a little bit more. They're not as like where they need to be out and about, like, you know, like as much, you know. Yeah. When they gain that independence, then it feels like, you know, like they're on a, like a world-win, fucking worldwide tour.

for stop, you know. It's called youth, right? Yeah. So as that kind of wanes and it's like, oh, I don't have to go out every night. Right. And you kind of... You start feeling better. Yeah.

Safer at home, nice and safe. Yeah. I get it. I think the TV show would seem like some sort of, like, distant or fevered dream if we didn't do behind the fake counter and be reminded of it, you know? Yeah. Or tell him Steve, Dave, you know, where... Where it comes up, yeah.

Well, where it wasn't like we went dark after the TV show. It was like there was a place where you could find us if somebody wanted to. Right, right. You know, but like we just didn't drift away into complete anonymity. Like, you know, like I imagine some reality show people do. The only people that don't seem to be like, that people like Hollywood Housewives, you know, like the people who are. shows with, like, rich people on them. I can continue to maintain a certain lifestyle.

Yeah. It seems like, for some reason, they're always showing up at, like, club openings and that kind of shit. I don't understand that either. Nah. We had those Housewives of New Jersey used to come to the mammoth park all the time. Yeah. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Okay, why? This tastes full. Yeah, I never watched the show, so I don't know. I just know what you would see on, like, E, like, you know, like clips and stuff. Right. Yeah. But apparently they were. just like they were on TV in real life.

According to the people I know who were working with them. A bunch of bitches. Yeah. Divas. I met one recently. They were nice. Oh, yeah? I don't remember which one.

But, Gettam, what about you? How many, let's talk about your cocoon stages here. That's a tough one. I have a tough concept of time, so it's really tough to, like, you know, I think it kind of for me, it's like where I was living. Okay. That makes sense. Yeah, you know, like my time at the farm, then my time living in Union, then, you know, college slash living in Tom's River, then living at the farm.

Yeah. And now, what does that mean? You have a tough concept with time? Like, you know how I could just bring up a conversation I had a week ago? Like, it just happened. Yes. Like, I don't. He sure does.

So. Even if I wasn't in the conversation, when you start talking about it, it's if I was in a conversation. I'm like, what are you talking about? So it's, it's, it's really, like, for me to judge time, like, I have to have, like, a reference. Like, I go back and look at a picture. Like, I can tell you, like, you know, when I can relate it to that picture, not the year exactly. Well, like, I look at the picture to find out the year. Okay.

Yeah. It's more of a mental game, though, I think I'm talking about. Like, you, like, you don't go to, like, when we met you, you don't strike me as the same person as when we met you. Yeah, yeah, well, yeah, definitely. I was, yeah. So, like, when I tell, when I tell you that I was worse when I was younger, it's, you know, it's, it's true. You know, I mean, I've been, I'm still growing. Sure.

Yeah. Which brings up an interesting point. How many. Waltz things. Uh-oh. I know. I didn't say anything. I know you didn't say anything.

What? How are you still fucking growing? His eyes like he was in pain. Yeah. You don't think he's growing? Um. I don't know. I don't know what that actually means.

What does that mean you're growing? I know people use the phrase, but what does it actually mean you're growing? How do you define growing? I define it in terms of priorities and things that bother you maybe and things that you love. Like these things that change?

Well, sure. I think so. And if they change, that's a sign of growth. If they don't change, it's a sign of not. Not growing? Stagnation. Stagnation a little bit. Stagnation. I think so.

Even some of the Jeff abandoned Star Wars. And we never thought we'd see that thing. Collecting. I love that that's your fucking, that's your example. Is it wrong? It's so horrible. I'm growing. I'm not going to believe it, but I grow.

You're talking about the kind of growth that, like, you know, like, you know, like, you You know, you mature and you become wise. You're like, you know, not that you get pissy because fucking Disney went woke on Star Wars. And it makes him a noise. I mean, take what you can get, I guess. That's how much you're met to him. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, what an example.

Wow. That blows my mind. It just puts everything in place. You're talking about resetting the universe And how many more cuckoos we have left is the other question Probably fewer than the number of cats I guess I doubt for me and bride less As you get older you do not

I don't think change unless you like unfortunately Unless when you see the the end of the road. And then you, and then you may be, right. You change because you're like, you're scared.

Yeah. Yeah. But I think older people, especially if they get over certain age, are much harder to, to, you know, they've,

they've, they're so, they've so, have so many years under their belt. It's like, what is it that's going to now? Sure. make them rethink or relook at things.

And usually it's not a good thing that makes you do that. I don't want that, though. No, nobody does. Well, I like the one of the reasons I lost weight was because I don't want to have a heart attack. It's like, I'm at prime age for a heart attack. Cybers All right. Prime weight for a heart attack, you know. So I was like, that's one of the, aside from pure vanity, I wanted to, you know, not be, you know, stress on your knees, that kind of shit.

And those knees go. They sure do. Oh, yes, they do. Even the metal one hurts sometimes. Yeah, they're clicking and clacking. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Click, click, click, like every step, I sound like a deckling.

Oh, who I, I know you, I owe you an email. I'm sorry. I will answer that today. But, um. How long was it? The email he wrote you? And now how long has it been since you? No, only, only a few days.

Oh, okay. Yeah, only a few days. Um, but. You're clicking and clacking? Oh, the knees. Yeah, they go fast. I was petting Boris and Boris is about the turn three and I'm like, God, if he lives as old as Benjamin by the time he dies, I'll be 66.

Oh my God, and then what? And then it's any day now. Seems that way. Yeah, I know. So that's kind of what I'm... This is what I was thinking of while I'm playing fake trees and reading Superman. I think I need more tattoos.

Really? Yeah. I'll get one with you. Yeah. Is that the one of the... the hallmarks or earmarks of a man who's like, I'm not 50. I don't know what else to do. I'm getting a tattoo.

I think it's a sports car. Yeah, fast car. I don't think you're completely wrong, but I do think it's, I don't think it's 100% like this will make me feel young. I think it's like if I'm going to do it, I'm running out of time to do it. Yeah, yeah. But I think it's in the, I think it's a cousin to what you're saying. There's definitely something in there. Do you have something that you've wanted on your body for a lot?

I wanted to get the four-colored demons thing for 10 years now. Where would you put that? Oh, I think I'm a sleeve. I would like to sleeve this arm. Yeah. Maybe the bleeding Superman I want. I want like they have an idea for the Ghostbusters, the stream that they fire out of the pro ten pack like wrapping around the arm.

This is a major fucking... He's got in the coverage. He's going to be like the illustrated man. Yeah. I look like that dude from, oh my God. Who's the big tatted dude? The enigma? Yeah, sure.

I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. Dave Navarro. I'll never be that cool. I mean. Yeah, you are. I don't know.

You want my Superman and Ghostbusters tattoo? Didn't he ban Carmen Electric? Yeah. In her prime? I don't think I'll be that cool. Well, if you get those tats, you're on the way. Yeah, man. You're right.

That's all I'm missing. Has the TV show impacted your decision to get tattoos? No. Okay. TV show is not really impacting much anymore. It does feel like the TV show work like, I mean, I didn't think we'd go this long. So it feels like we're in a victory lap situation where it's just like doing it for fun now. Okay.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Type thing, which is cool, which is cool. But no, it didn't affect that at all. But yeah, we get the four-colored demons on. Yeah, we got one. Let's do it. a tattoo of more sagging skin.

Something I never want to show people because it's just disgusting and floppy. Yeah, exactly. Under the files of Be Careful What You Wish for. A couple weeks ago, I complained, well, not complained, but mentioned that Jimmy, the hair guy, was having four bachelor parties.

Okay. They're like, wow, weird, I didn't get invited to any of them. Okay. Well, that changed. Ooh. Got invited to one. Which one? It's down in Atlantic City.

Of course. I looked at the prices down there. I'm like, we must pay these guys way too much. Because if they can afford to go to the Borgata, this coming weekend, I was looking at the prices, it's like $600 a night. Jesus. Well, you don't have to stay at night. Yeah, I know. But like if you're going to have fun and stay out and stuff, I don't want to be driving back like two in the morning.

That's what I'm doing. Oh, you're going? Yeah. You're going to Jimmy's bachelor party. Yeah, they're going to a steakhouse and gambling, right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm not into high-end steakhouses.

I found that the higher the end of the steak, the less it tastes like steak. You know, so I am. As Evan, if you were walking out of char that time, yeah. I wish that we were going on. Eat those dollar parking lot stakes? No, like long, yeah, like long one to me would be. I forgot about that. But, yeah, I'm going to go.

Really? Yeah, I'm not staying at night. I'll just drive home at the end of the evening. Is it tomorrow? That's shocking. No, no, it's, uh, yeah, I heard the room for, uh, exorbinant, though. Yeah. Well, they're all shacking up.

Like college dorm style, though. Oh, are they? You just split the... I don't want to sleep in a tub. I'd rather drive back. Wait, wait. Give me a number here. April?

April 18th. Right? Yeah. Oh, now everybody's going to go to AC, though. Oh, you could block that out. I mean, I'm... I'm home. And I'd probably rather go to that than the wedding.

He would... Yeah. He would be overjoyed, I think, to have a BQ at the festival. I was going to make that one. Everyone's going. Really? Sunday Jeff even.

Sunday Jeff? Yeah. You're kidding me. No. Really? Why would you think we wouldn't? A stakehouse? A bachelor party doesn't seem to be like your kind of thing.

So when they said bachelor party, I'm assuming. As far as I know, what I've been told, it's a, it's a restaurant and then gambling. What else is there? I would expect they were probably going to some strip club or something. That's what I would guess anyway. Oh, all right. I'm not doing that, though. I'll do the steak.

I'll do the gambling. All right. I think we went on this one. Yeah? Yeah, I think it would be more fun for me than the wedding. Why come they didn't mention that in the email or the text? What's it? Like, I thought it was just a...

It's called evidence, bro. Yeah. Are you on a paper trail on this? Rup asked me. He didn't actually email me or text me or anything. I happen to see him. Oh. Someone was supposed to text Q, but I guess they didn't do it.

Does Rob... I think Rob has your number, right? I believe he does. Yeah. He says he does not. You just ask them? It's in the text. TOM does. Tom does.

Yeah. Speaking of TOM, he gave us a game today. Really? Yeah. Oh. I think it's a good one. Okay. It is, it's, I'm curious what you guys thoughts on the game are, though, the concept and the format of the game.

You might not be as happy with it or as tickled as I was with the name. All right. Can't wait. Let me do some ads and get into it. We'll knock out two ads. We got three. I'll knock out two. I've got an ad for my personal aunt too.

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Oh, small throat. Too small for a pill? Yeah. Hmm. Well, I don't know if it's too, well, it's too small for those big fucking horse pills. Right. Yeah, it could be like traumatic to take a pill that's oversized for me. Gagging.

Yeah. Throwing up. Yeah. Jesus. Well, it says here it dissolves under your tongue, so I guess it must taste all right. This is peak passion and peak performance. a single tablet. Forget neck chicks and fill.

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Sure do. Raycon, man. They just, they come and come for us. They do. Raycon's pretty good. Ray-Con. I don't have been in a while.

Blue-chu's pretty good, too. I love my Racons. Yeah. They're working out for you at the Chinese. I was using them yesterday at the buffet. Yeah, they're good. That way you can block out anybody Be like, sir, sir, you're eating too much?

That's our food, sir. Limit one plate. It's even the panelling off the wall. The fucking 1970s. Like a locusts just chewing on it. It's like the smell of fish is embedded inside the fucking panelling. And the taste. It's like, hmm, fish.

Rips it down, nails and all. Raycon's blasting. Let's see. Nails and all, did you say? In my iron. This looks like it could potentially be an older ad, because with the Super Bowl in the Winter Olympics this month, there's no better time to get inspired.

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And we've been using Raycon's essential open ear butts like get them. Yeah. And they've completely changed how he eats. This says workout, but I'm just going to say eats. Yeah, it is a workout. Yeah, you do your physical therapy. Yeah. But I got to listen to what they say during it.

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Does the water have a noise? Is that your watch? It's more of his bullshit. This guy is wild. It's like an arcade over there. It's fucking wild. Do you feel the water has a taste of a fishy taste as well? No, because they have a fountain machine,

so I think it goes through the same, the water they get is from the same filter. Does this place know if everything tastes and fishy, kind of? I can't even believe it when I walked in. I've walked in to buy a gift certificate for him there for Christmas or something, and it's just like. No, you came in to get the keys. Oh, yeah, overpowering.

And he kind of ran in with his. Super smeller. Yeah, yeah. The smell of fish just permeates the fucking, place. Like, it could shut down and a new business probably couldn't open unless it was a fishery. A fishery, yeah. You'll never get the fish smell out of these walls.

They've been there since the seven. Yeah, there's certain days, like when you go in and like a very, like a chicken meal will taste like fish because they fried it the same. Oh, well. It's what I deserve. Just certain days, certain days. You need as much as I wanted. Those are the days I only have. That makes up for it's tasting like fish as I can have as much.

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I have my own ad here. So, Chris Ladondo facilitated a business deal that I was able to take part in. I'm not sure how he knows the company, but a company contacted him to contact me. they do like art prints and they had the DC license to do art prints and they asked me to do a print and it is available now to purchase on plushart

club plushart dot club and it's officially a license hand signed numbered edition of only 85 screen print post I don't know what they did that. It's available now on plush art. Oh, wow.

Yeah, it's a Batman print. Oh, that's cool. And it's got all the four major villains. And it's up there now. Dude, that looks sick, man. No, thank you. Yeah, it was black and white. Can you go to the Catwoman?

So, yeah, the only note I got I had to change was I put too much cleavage on Batman. Get out of it. D.C. had to approve of it. Oh, really? They used me to pull the zipper up more on Catwoman. Jesus, what a bunch of moes. If D.C. wasn't on such a good streak lately, I'd be worried. They're killing it lately, so I'll let it go.

But, like, you know, they're the ones that drew her in the 90s. They're going to tell you to bring that zipper up a quarter inch. Yeah, I'm not sure, you know, why they thought it wasn't that much lower. but it definitely I had a little bit more Like a nip slip? No. Damn.

It was very tasteful but the zipper was a little bit lower on the cat suit but it is available now and if you guys want to check it out you can go to plushart.

dot club and thank you Chris for hooking it up and it was fun to do and I hope it does well for them and I thought we could play for a listener this game that Tom came up with

and the winner Okay. We'll get one of these Batman prints from me. I hope I win. I want one. Yeah, right on. So. God, I love your Joker, man.

You always make him so, like, demonic looking. Like, it's really there, how insane and evil this fucker is. Oh, thank you. So the game is called, are you cueless? Take unclus, I think. Okay. And over the years, this is all from Tom. Both Brian and Q have been accused of being, let's just say, out of touch with the common man.

This game will once and for all prove who is more cueless. Q's questions will revolve around the price of common objects that the everyday common man would or should know. You must come within a dollar of the actual price. Brian's question, since he leaves his home less than a house plant, are all related to pop You win a sex club last week. I know. He came up with this game, I think, before last week. We were talking about this.

Okay. I'm out there. And Q, you are going to play for Donovan Barkman of Kentucky. Yeah. And Brian is going to play for Joshua Jackson of Michigan. And whoever gets the most questions right will get one of these Batman prints signed by me. Nice. Okay.

You're right about last weekend, but I don't think I've left the house since then. So Tom's kind of right. It's a big splash, though. I mean, come on, man. I'm going to go out. So somebody goes to the movie every week. That's better than you going to a sex club. And then chilling out in your house for a few weeks.

Fuck off. That's true. Yeah, reliving it. Yeah. Endlessly masturbating. Oh, remember that one part. All right. This is great.

All right. Okay, get them. You're going to keep score? Sure. There you go. What do you need two pens for? What if the first one runs out? Okay.

All right. It's black and blue. First question is for Q. Okay. What is the price of a dozen eggs? Oh, well, here's a problem with this question. I don't need eggs. Really?

You have an egg-free diet of choice or by doctor's? I never like the taste of eggs. I can have it as an ingredient in things like cake or something like that or like pancakes, but I think omelets are gross. I don't enjoy. You don't like scrambled eggs? I don't like anything. Egg forward, I do not like.

So I don't buy eggs. Would you like me to strike this question? I mean, I'll give it a shot, but I just want people to understand that I've never bought eggs at any point in my life because I just don't like the taste of them. I have an alternate question I can put in here if you'd like to give me to the egg question. I mean, it would be a total shot in the dark with the eggs for the wrong reason. Okay. So I would say it. $27.

$27. $27. Snoots. Snoots. Snoots. So what would you get? We're not going to count, but what would you do? Eggs, okay, because everybody's complaining about the price of them.

What are there, a dozen eggs in a thing? Yes. Oh, man, I don't know. $8? Everybody's always complaining about the price of eggs. They were. I don't think they are anymore. Okay.

If they were $8, that's it. That would be an eggless. If this country would have no eggs, if they're $8. Were there more? It's way less. Way less. According to Tom, the average price is $2.49 For a carton of eggs?

And that's whatever is fucking complaining about? A dozen eggs. I don't know if it's a carton or not. Usually they come in dozens or buy 12. So what the fuck is we complain about it? That's all I heard about. Didn't that sway the presidential election? I think for the election they were up to like six, seven bucks.

Oh, okay. They were there a lot. Okay, got it. Okay. I think. I don't buy eggs either, but I'm pretty sure that was the case. I started getting into eggs. That's not that expensive.

Iron protein. Yeah. All right. But there was no way I was ever going to get that one. All right. So here's your first question. Okay. The average cost of home internet in the USA.

Just internet. No cable and stuff like that per month? When's the last time you looked at the bill? Oof. How many internet streams you got at home? How many internet cocoons have you gone through? Do you have internet? hooked up per room or do you have it?

I mean, it's just a Wi-Fi hard-wire. Okay. Internet, it's about 30 bucks. 30 bucks? 30 bucks a month? Do you agree with that? Probably not that this matters for your book. I disagree.

I couldn't disagree more. Just for Internet? Just for Internet? I think you're probably talking like 80 bucks. 80 bucks? Ryan Johnson gets it on the nose. $80. Shit, I guess mine's part of a bundle.

Yeah. 80 bucks a month? That seems outrageous. Yeah, it is. You got to tie into your neighbor's fucking internet. Yeah. For their password. 80 bucks just for the internet.

Bring them over a bushel of figs and be like, hey. You know, let me share that code, that Wi-Fi code. Yeah, that password. I know what your password is. I mean, I know what the internet name is. I see it pop up all the time with devices, but she would like that password. Yeah, let's listen. Stick it to the man together.

Wow, 80 bucks a month. That is a lot. All right. Brian Johnson. So, Brian does not get the point. He does not get the point. Well, what would have been acceptable? Like, if I'd say 65, what I'd be on the point?

Like, wait, I got to nail it on the head? Within a dollar each way. Within a dollar each way. Okay. So if you had 79 or 81. Okay. It would have been okay. I would have been fine.

All right. Fucking hell, that's a lot of money. Is this a song, place, or an influencer? Pink Pony Club. I know the answer to this one. Do you? Yeah. Never heard of Pink Pony Club, so it's going to be a guess.

A song, a person. Or an influencer. A song? A club or an influencer. I got to guess and say song. You're going to say song. Yeah. You're right?

He's correct. Chappelle Rhone. Oh, okay. That's the girl with the sexy dress that she wore to the Grammys or something. She had a sexy dress on? Yeah, can you pull up a picture of Chappelle Rohn? I thought she was anti-Let. I think it was the Grammys.

Not according to this dress. Hey, all right. Our internet must be down. Oh, we got to. No, not that dress. Okay. Yeah, it might be Grammy. You know, for it.

Oh, I remember this. Somebody showed me this. She just had, like, a nipple rings attached to her. Yeah. To her dream. dress. Yep, that one. Wow.

That is a... It must be horrible to be a female in the industry because to make a splash, you have to dress like that. Look at that dress, man. It's a hell of a dress. It is, but look, what's called for? Do you think she has to? I mean, there's funny. She's pretty successful.

She's standing out. You know, like, you make a splash, that's what you got to do. You know, if a guy came with his balls, his testicles, fucking keeping his pants up like that. That's how I'm going to the bachelor party. If his testicles were pierced holding up his slacks, I doubt. Wow. He would get the same response, though. But she looks like great.

Yeah, she looks very good. It looks like almost like a Greek goddess. It looks like 300. Yeah, right? Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. Cool. I got tiny nipples.

All right. Good for her. All right. You should know this cue. Okay. For as often as you go to the movies, what is the average price of a movie ticket on Staten Island? On Staten Island. Okay, there's a lot of, there's IMAX, there's laser, there's this, and that.

All the caveats. All the little caveats. About $15. $15. Do you agree with that, Brian? I would go lower. 13, yeah? 1275 is that.

That's not saying, like if I go see an IMAX, the prices are different. But I'll stick with 15. 15. Yeah. According to Tom, the average price of a movie ticket on Staten Island is $19. Oh, really? Yeah, so no points for Q. I am Q.

Cueless so far. So far, but at least I'm going lower. And not like, I don't know, $25, I don't give a shit. You know what I mean? I'm just dropping like fucking 10 year ago pricing. Brian, your next question. is skims an app, an influencer, or a store in Keyport. Skims?

Yeah. An influencer? Is skims an app, an influencer, or a store in keyboard? You know where keyboard is, right? I don't know if you have the plant. That's right next door. He made his way over to Keyport. It has.

I thought it was a Kim Cardiff. thing. I might be wrong about that. I mean, she has skin. Yeah. I guess an app. An app. Yeah, I guess I'll say an app. App influencer or store? The answer is, Skims is an app for clothing created by Kim Kardashian. Okay.

Two for two. You're not the house plant that everyone who needs you to be. Oh, there you go. Tussing all over the place. You need his cue. Yeah, but he's got like one and three shot every time. I have to come up on a number out of nowhere and be within like $0.50. I know. It was called Cullis because you're set up the film.

Why wouldn't you give me three? Okay. Yeah. Now I'm in familiar territory. You got that wrong, right? He got it right. He got it right. It's two for two.

What does two for two mean in your world? Okay. Please stop. I don't want to get this started. We're where you are? We're focused on. Q not getting used. That was the smartest move I've ever seen

to make right there to not argue, to not call attention to something. He's like, okay. He's like, just to go five seconds or 15 minutes depending on what I say. He just came out of a cocoon right in front of us right there. You must do this at least once every other month,

I'm guessing. What is the average price of a haircut on Staten Island? Oh, man. Again, like it's too... Before tips. It's two... Is it a scissor?

Is it a buzz cut? Is it a fucking beard trim on top of it? But okay. $35 just for the haircut. Just for a haircut. 35. You agree with that, right? I think it's more expensive.

I'm going to say 50. Get them? You've been quiet. You're the smartest man in the room. I know mine was 35 and it just went up to 40. Here. In Hazlet. Yeah.

Okay. Staten Island. The city. But I know, I'm agreeing with Q. It's like there's different. between if they touch your beard or if it's just a basic cut. Yeah, it's hard to... Well, Tom said haircut.

Yeah, you didn't say anything about a beard. No. You guys are only ones bringing in beard into the equation. So you think it's more... Well, it's hair. You think it's more, too, get them? I'm going to say, yeah, based on that we just went up. So what did I say?

35. 35. So if it's 34 or 36, you're good. Great. But it was 50. Do I just nail it again? Brian just nailed it. Damn.

You're not. You're not. As much as I thought, I was like, oh, my God. Me too. Me too. I also don't get my hair cut on Staten Island, so that's another. Really? Where do you go?

Oh, Manhattan. No, my buddy has a shop in Brooklyn, so I just been going to him for years. When I even get haircuts. Does your buddy charge you? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, of course, he's got a business.

I don't want to take his, you know, I don't take his. So how much you tip? Not even a break? If he's, if it's, if it's a good. It's the 35. He charged you 35? No, he doesn't charge me 35. What's he charged you?

Well, that's what I'm saying. I get, when I go, I get, I'm going to trip like an hour. All right. So it'll be like 75, something like that, beard trim haircut and stuff like that. Oh, that's not a buddy. And then. That's his hand. Yeah, but I don't want him to not, like.

Okay. Like, he should, like, I don't want him to do that. If I open up, when I open up my barbershop cue. Yeah. On the house? On the house. Well, look, he's not working for the last. Lemon tree.

You know what I mean? It's like his business. He pays the rent and stuff like that. I don't even think my dad would charge him that much. Doesn't your dad usually cut your hair in the barn? Well, no, not in the barn anymore. They used to cut it in the barn. Yeah, yeah.

First the horse, then get them. Well, no, no, because the hair would keep the rodents out. Of course, of course. That's why I have hair all over my house. Yeah, they smell the hair. They think there's a person there. They're scared of hair. No, that snows the smell.

So they think that there's someone around so they don't come into the barn. Your hair has a certain scent? It smells like a human. Look, there are people who go to barbershops every day and collect hair for that reason. I'm shocked that you're not one of them. No, no, they spread in their gardens and it keeps the squirrels and stuff out. Really? Make you a murder suspect.

You have DNA in your burden? Wow, I thought you just made a hair suit. So you guys just didn't leave the hair where it fell in the barn? You guys would sprinkle it around? Well, no, no, because you would cut it near the door because I would get the best light. And so both of you guys knew this going in. You're like, oh, son, seen a lot of pests around. You need a haircut?

Well, no, no. He's totally bald, but it looks like he's going through chemo. Dad. I used to do it myself. Let's just get rat traps. I used to do it myself, and then he was complaining about how bad it looked. because I had trouble getting the back

because you stopped to get the back straight and everything so yeah okay and you've now your dad has been unofficially retired as your barber

right? Yeah yeah how do you take that did I ask you this or any he says yeah

you're like I had to do it a pretty good job oh yeah we said I asked you you could do it on stage

you let's keep all the road inside of the theater Did you know that cue? No. The human hair kept away? I didn't know. I never heard of that before.

The human scent. Placing hair. Wow. I mean, it's a natural way to do it. Will you? Yeah, my fig tree now. Yeah, could sprinkle some hair around it. Yeah, I'm going to do that.

I'm going to do it. Thank you for the tip. All right. Johnson. All right. Who is Tate McCray, a singer, an actress, or an adult film star? Tate McCray? Tate McCray.

Never heard the name before, but it sounds like a country singer to me. So what are you saying? I'm saying a singer. You? This one I don't know. I guess porn star. Born star. Get them?

I know. You already know. How do you know? Because I listen to the radio. And Brian Johnson is three for three. Wow. It is a singer. Oh, and it's a female singer.

Oh, wow, she's young. 22. Is she the one that dating Jack Hughes from the Devils? Is that her? Jesus Christ, it's gorgeous, huh? How many boyfriends is tape McCray had? What kind of music she sing? Yeah, they're in a relationship as a 22nd.

That's what you get when you fucking scored a gold, golden goal for your country. Yeah, you get yourself a Tate McCray. You get the other country's finest. You have to sacrifice her, the losing country. We get the best you take their women. Oh, this is a kid whose teeth got not that. Wasn't this kid getting shit for like celebrating? Weren't people like turning against him?

No. It was the hockey puck. Yeah, he said some weird shit about like he wished. He wants the hockey puck back. Why is that weird? I guess because the way he phrased it, he was like, he thought it was, he goes, it's bullshit that the hockey Hall of Fame gets to keep the puck, I want it back. Is it kidding?

Is he fucking around? I don't think he was kidding. Yeah, he wanted, his father keeps, like, all his milestones. He has, like, a little shrine in his house. They should have cut it in half. They should have given half to the museum, half to him. Yeah. I just feel like his choice of words were, it was odd phrasing to use the word bullshit.

Right. I would have been like, hey, like, after it's on display, for a while. Eventually I would love to be able to have the puck back. I would not have been like so aggressively. He's a champion, man. He fucking won. Yeah, yeah. And that's one of the Garden State's finest right there.

Without him, you don't win the, I'm not actually in the goaltender, but. It's inspiring that someone with some teeth problems can have a track. Yeah, get them right? Yeah. Does that like, do you like? I got my hopes up, yeah. You're like... You're like...

You should tell people, like, you know, this isn't some like, you know... Yeah, but my accent on the disease I'm going through. This is the result of many hockey bucks. I thought about coming up with a story for it. I don't have periodontal problems. Like they got knocked out while I was rescuing someone who was drowning, like that. Yeah.

Something that's a little hard to disprove. Yeah. Why don't you do that? Why you cultivate a fucking new, completely lie about it, but like it makes yourself out to be like an amazing hero. That's my cocoon. I don't go with the truth anymore. This is shocking. Why are you teeth fixed?

Come on, Q. Culous? You fucking just show everybody you're a cueless. Yeah, how much that cost? Just get the teeth fixed. Come on. My spine was a quarter million dollars. It would be weird to see him with teeth at this point.

You couldn't have said before you, before you, fucking, you know, before they put the mask on you and gave you the laughing gas, you're like, Doc, while I'm under, can you fix the teeth too? It's a neurosurgeon, not a... Just take some of the spine, shaping it to the tooth, shoving in there. All bone tooth, get them. What do you think? What do you think that the smile would look like if he had fashioned teeth out of his spine and just... It's just a vertebrae between this gap.

All right, Q. I think it's a lost cause at this point. Oh, sure. But here we go. We've got to finish the game. What is the price of a big mac meal at McDonald's? I don't know the last time BQ was a McDonald's, though. I would have to thank the 90s?

No, no. No. I'm good for McDonald's at least once a year. Once a year. Yeah, I... It's too good. What was your... What's your go-to at McDonald's?

Big Mac is the deluxe arch? Usually the fish, the McFish sandwich? No, I never had a McFish. It's always either the two cheeseburger meal with an extra cheeseburger added, no mustard, or the double cheeseburger that they do. It's always between those two. Every once in a while I'll get a Big Mac. But I got to be careful because it's so good that I got to train myself to have,

I'm talking once every five years, I got like a Big Mac. I love Big Macs. It's so good. this. Yeah. I didn't realize you had this just McDonald's tooth. I like that.

It's that and White Castle. White Castle, I fucking, I had to train myself not to go in way. I'm shocked at that because White Castle is barely dog food. I couldn't disagree more.

It's hard to meet. Oh, I love White Castle. It looks like liquid meat. No. Like they just squeeze out of a bottle. It tastes like an angel. Angel meat. No, White Castle.

It's gray most of the time. It's not gray. No, it's not. They cook it in butter. It's delicious. It's got five holes in it Oh, it's the best. I love White Castle.

And there you get their onion rings are far superior to anybody else's onion rings. You do onion rings too, huh? Fucking love it, right? How can you know it? Yeah, I got to be, there's what I'm saying.

You got to have the discipline, though. You got to have the discipline. Yeah. It helps that I'm not out to like four in the morning anymore. You can't go ham on White Castle. Yeah, oh, I love a White Castle. Hard as a motherfucker.

I will go to White Castle. I'll order six sliders, onion rings and fries for the sack home and then I'll order another three burgers for the drive home. I'll eat them as I drive. Oh, it's the fucking best.

Yeah. I'm going to get some today. My mouth is bored. White Castle pulled off a trick too. Where they're the only fast food restaurant I know that sells frozen versions of their burgers. You can go to Supermarking at them.

And they taste so close to what you get. Like, they nailed that. You put them in the microwave. They steam inside the little pouch. Oh, that's fucking crap. Sage has them for snack all the time. It's worse than an abattoir.

It's fucking disgusting the way they smell. It's crazy. I agree with you. I don't agree. The whole house permeates the smells of it. Yeah, it smells like the restaurant except worse. I can disagree more. Yeah.

Oh, that smell. I'm like gagging. Yeah, it is enough to make you gag. Not me. All right, the cost of a Big Mac Okay, a meal, you're talking, which size? You get the fries, you get the drink. I need to know what small, medium, large.

Let's go small. But who the fuck is ordering a small? All right, let's go medium. Yeah, but I got to know, you can't just tell me which one. They're off. Okay. Big Mac 9. I'm telling you, McDonald's is fucking.

Yeah. crazy if they don't tap you to be the next McDonald's commercial the way you were fucking waxing about McDonald's? I don't need McDonald's. I'm at White Castle. They got in trouble with their CEO eating that burger. Yeah, that's not been repair shit. You know, you get a BQ in there.

Oh, yeah, for some damage control. Bada, ba-papa. I'm loving it. Caching. Cue's loving it. I would sell my soul in a heartbeat. Some say I'm cueless. I'm going to come to the Big Macs.

Not we're going to come to the Big Mac. Let's say $9. $9. Yeah. $9. Say $9.50. Correct. It's $10.50.

All right. You're worth in a dollar. You get the point. I'll take it. I'll take that help. That was pretty close. And it was a three-size swing there that I'm working with, too. Yeah.

It used to be like fucking three bucks. Yeah. Used for nothing. Great. I don't know. When it changed, I don't know when the world went cabloy, that, you know, you have to pay double figures for a hamburger and a Coke at a fast food place. It's crazy. Sage gets, on Friday, she gets McDonald's.

She'll get two cheeseburgers, four nuggets and a soda, and it's 10 something. Wow, man. Yeah. That's a while people post online, like, they find an old McDonald's or Burger King that still has the menu up. Yeah. That, like, went out of business, but still has the drive-thru menu up and they just take pictures of, like, what the actual dollar menu was. When everything was under a dollar. Oh.

Right. Do you like, do you enjoy that or does that? I was never like a Big Mac fan. I was more of like the McChicken. I like the McChicken. Junior bacon burger from Wendy's was my big jam. Yeah, baconator. Mine is tomato.

I mean, they pulled off a magic trick in that, to me, their burgers taste the exact same as they did when I was a kid. Who? McDonald's. McDonald's. Yeah. That was Ray Kroc. He, he, he, he.

Pushed for that. Yeah. Great job. Like they developed, he developed his own machine that would measure the fat content when it got delivered. And if it wasn't within a specific. Oh, I always just assumed they just shooting chemicals on it that makes it taste that way. No, it's. But they also stopped freezing their meat, too, McDonald's.

Yeah. They did that for the lunch. Because Burgundy, Wendy's ragged about it as well. Wendy's did that, yeah. And Wendy's would take all the leftover burgers and grind that up and make it into the chili for the next day. That I knew, yeah. Or hurt. Good.

I don't even more useless information you want to spend out there. All right, Brian, what is Claude, a singer, a 2026 movie or an app? Claude. 2026 movie? Yeah. That's your answer? That's my answer. No, it's an app.

It's an AI app, isn't it? Oh, is it? It is indeed an AI app. An AI app? Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Ablin and the AI after you got your fingers.

Oh, I thought it was like C-L-A-W-E-D. You know, kind of smacked by the internet, right? No, I have not. Good man. I have not. I'm done. Me and A. I have gone a separate way. I did ask for a little fig planting advice today.

But, you know, we get that. That's some growth. Yeah. The internet spoke out and you listened. I got bullied. All the assholes who are probably using AI themselves. Four or five loudmouth dickheads online. Right.

Got me to change my ways. So congratulations. You fucking cunts. There's AI everywhere, but your little thing is that's what's going to ruin the world. Stop it. Stop it at my level. Pat yourself on the back, you fucking cunts. This is your last question, Q.

What is the price of the basic streaming service for Netflix with ads? With ads. We know BQ does not take the fucking option with ads, right? You're going ad free. It's 899 Final answer Final answer

I'm gonna say 1799 Oh I know they just announced a price increase I'm gonna say 999 BQ Yeah You got it right on the fucking note 899 how'd you know

Wait we'd say with or without With ads Oh with ads Did you just sign up for a full year with ads Well when you pay for Netflix for like half your family That you figure out how much that it. You figure out how much it costs

pretty fucking quick. So many times you've got to ask for your fucking password before you're like, just fucking just get it. The password is you're killing me. Yeah, that's your password, my fucking soul. Just take the $8.99 a month, please. So that one, I'm right on.

The password is that I made of money. I'm going to tell you, I guess, from the table, and I want everybody to guess, though, how many streaming services does Q have under his belt. We already know he's got at least one Netflix. What's the number of all of them? How do you number that? Give me a number. I'm going to say... Just to keep

in mind, it's a tax write-off of me. I'm in the biz. Oh, okay. So technically, all of those are research. So factor that in. So your tax guy, you're like... Oh, yeah. He gets it all. He got all the streaming services, bro. He knows it. He knows it. All right, bro. All of them. Oh, like I don't...

All of them. We all got them all. All the stream is for me. You write down your password. Can I write off a VC box? All right. So knowing that you, you're a smart businessman, you know it's a tax write-off, it actually makes sense for you to not be, to not have all of them then. Right.

I'm going to say 12. Wow. I'm going to say there's 12 different streaming services. You got Apple, you got Disney, you got HBO Max, you got, what else is there? Netflix. You got Prime. Paramount. Paramount.

Hulu. Hulu. Although that's folding in. Shutter. Shudder. Shudder. Shudders with AMC Plus. You think of Jeff Tedux Miner Vicks Vicks?

He's not in the business. I don't know if he could do it. Working at Toyota. Sunday grind. It's research for Sunday grind. I write off all mine. Do you? Yeah.

I hope I don't get in trouble for it, but yeah, we do. Yeah, you're in the biz, babe. Yeah. Podcasting over here. So what do you think, Brian? I'm going to say 12. I would say 10. 10?

10. Yeah. You can't say 10. He already took it. Nine. Nine. Nine. Nine.

Oh, get him, Steve, Dave. Yeah, that sounds about right. Well, do you count Xbox Game Pass in that? because then you're up to 10. And the PlayStation version, now you're up to 11. Okay. One more. Well, it's right.

I can find it. Oh, I do. You're right. It's a webcam. It's only like five bucks a year, but it's a app on Apple TV that categorizes all live webcams from around the world. And he's just going to that. Up to 12. So there you go.

Sorry, you're getting me. Almost one. Almost. You got it. Yeah. You took it away from it. But five bucks a year It's like

That's what they should all be And again You're basically making money The more streaming services you have You're writing it off You know Yeah You're right

You know Why take a pay kind You can be your Yeah It's free money So Joshua Jackson Of Michigan is going to get the print

All right Joshua Finally I want something for somebody Drive one Yeah Thanks to my lucky guesses Would have five questions? Yeah

I got two? Got two. All right. I mean, not a complete failure. No. Hall of fame career in baseball, right? Yeah. What is in baseball?

What is the Hall of Fame career? What do you have to get? 300. Yeah. 300 got to bet? Well, I mean, if you're anything over 300. Sure. It's so impressive.

I mean, yeah. Yeah. I mean, that, yeah, that's a whole favorite. And speaking of baseball, the opening day was yesterday. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Off to a good start on both lanes, buddy. You play. You put your feet in both pools, huh? You want to cover all your bases. That's what I did last year, right? Wasn't he, like, just going back and forth? I don't think he even talked about it last year. No, last year was the one where you were telling me you were like, but you win it.

You were happy either way. And I was like, you know. It was two years ago. Yeah, I was two years ago. And I was like, yeah, you know. I don't know if either team was in the playoffs last year. Maybe they were. I don't know.

It hasn't been a great run. But, you know, it's great. I'm a, I mean, Yankees fan, but I like the Mets. But I like to see the Mets win, too. I'd see the Mets one. Yeah. You get to many games this year? Oh, sure.

I'll go to a few, yeah. I was supposed to go to one possibly on Saturday. And then I looked at the weather and I was like, it's 40, what can be 40 degrees? Like, go fuck yourself. That's too cold for BQ? Yeah. 40? 40? You don't got to just bring a sweater?

No, I want to enjoy myself. Not think about the weather. Eight degrees away from freezing. Just bring a sweater. that's a little bit of, you know, some might say a little soft. That's all right. You can't go out. If it's 40 degrees, it's too cold.

Would a young Q have gone or no? Well, it wouldn't have felt the cold at all. No, I never enjoyed. Baseball doesn't make sense to me in the extreme cold. I'm always like, what are we doing here? Is there a temperature that's too hot, too? Like, if it's 100, will you go sit in the bleachers? Uh, if I'm in the shade, I'll sit in the, I'll sit in the bleachers.

Yeah. I'm not in the shade, though. You're, like, bright and directly in the sun for nine straight innings. No. Drinking. You know how many streaming services I have, bro? You think I'm going to sit in the fucking bleachers in the sun? Not this guy.

I'm brother boy. What's the matter? All right. Well, that was cuellis. Thank you, Tom. Yeah, Tom, thank you. T-O-M. Do you think, Brian, before I know you worried out, but I had this thought the other day,

could you fire a flare up from your backyard? Would that get into trouble with the locals? Like a flare gun? Like the ship going down, like, right go up. What do you think you'd be able to get away with it? Would the cops be mad or would? Well, I live literally right across the street from Earl Naval Base,

like their property, so they would probably look into it. I was looking across the water towards you. Oh, yeah? And I was like, I wonder if I could see if he shot a flare off, would I see? So you guys are not communicating by flares? I'm just curious.

So if I went down to the bay and did it, yeah, maybe. Well, the bay I would definitely see, I think, because I could see Sandy Hook from my house. But I feel like I want to see where that flare, that pop goes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You don't think you pull it off, huh? I don't know. First, I have to get a flare gun.

Okay. I mean, how are they going to find you? Like, if you drove down the road, like, 100 feet. At fucking 1,000 people's different ring cams are like, he's the one who did it. I'm like, oh, shit. God damn it. Aren't you doing it in the middle of the night. It has to be dark.

Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Shoot it and then run into your house real quick before it gets to maximum. And Q's already on speaker phones. So I can be like, can you see it? I'm there. I'm in my yard looking. Let me ask you question.

Why aren't you the one shooting the flare? I'm looking. Both of you clans are going to get fucking pulled on the authorities. For violating some sort of airspace infraction. Oh, they got bigger problems. A solo flare going on. We're just doing a little science experiment.

We just want to see if we're... We're buddies, you understand? We're buddies. I want to see it. Please let us go. We're sorry. We won't do it anymore. Now we know.

Oh, it's just a case of boys being boys. You guys are both... You just turned 50, didn't you? And you're pushing 60. Oh, me? Yeah. You can ask you put it that way. The other boys made me do it.

Tell them, Steve, Dave. Well, I got another one. Oh, yeah. I got one more left. This podcast is sponsored, brought to you by Squarespace. SquareSpace. SquareSpace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. Got to claim that domain.

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using code T-E-S-D. All right, that's Squarespace. Tell them to, Dave. Is that it? Yeah. Well, Josh walked in while we were recording. Josh is the gentleman who, at one point, volunteered to...

I remember clean the office. To clean the office. I thought we broke him. I didn't think we'd have seen him again. Oh, he did get broke. Yeah, he was broken. Come here, Josh. I thought he unalived himself.

I thought he unalived himself. So what happened? Why did the project clean space? Why was it abandoned? What did you feel the passive-aggressive vibes permeating from Gidham, Steve Dave, as he was, you know, visualizing you with a thousand knives in your face as you cleaned up the office and also meant cleaning up all his garbage? Well, that's quite an interesting

Why is there human hairsprit all over the place? To keep the pests away, dole? I don't have to clean the garbage if the pets aren't eating it. Yeah, it was a big job. It was too big for you? It's okay to say yes, bro. But you have OCD. I thought OCD guys, like, there's no challenge that's too much for a guy who,

like, that's all that, like, if you can't stop thinking about it. Well, the thing that bothers me with it, the thing that really made it tough was that everything I would go to and say, hey, I want to take this, he'd say, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's got to stay there. No, no, no, no, I need that. You know he's not the boss, right? I know. I know. But we talked about this and like, what can I take? What should I take?

Where can I move things? How can I rearrange this? Right. And there was always... I need five pounds. Andy Fries, keep it there. There was a lot of that, but there was also that he does need to know where the stuff goes. So as I was moving stuff and rearranging stuff, I wanted to make it easy for him to get to.

But at the same time, I wanted to clean it up. I heard there was talks of a floor plan that was going to be designed with like, you know, a full, like a manual where each section was going to be laid out, written out, where everything was. Or was that just a dream I had? A beautiful dream. I would have done that, but I don't think I could have gotten through everything. He's going to be out of town for Q.S. Do you think, is there any thought to you coming in while he's out of town and just doing it? And then he's got to live with it when he gets back?

I mean, talking about a ruined vacation. That's all he'd think about the whole time. Josh is going to touch of my stuff. Do you think you'd be up for that? How long is he there? for at least five days. Josh, the empty soy sauce package needs to stay there. I mean, if he came back and everything was as it should be, like, he'd just get used to it.

I mean, his guy's house burned down and he moved on. Yeah, he lost everything at a fire and he survived. He's adaptable. That's probably his best trait is his adaptability. Yeah. He adapts, you know, he wouldn't be tickled upon returning from QS to see a clean off. office, but probably within a day or two, he would have. And also, like, it's not his decision at all in any way, shape, or form.

Right, but we, but his doctor, you know, from 1984. Oh, you're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. Well, probably in those notes, I remember reading. It was like, you know, you can't do that. That's kind of like a shock to the system.

Like, that's counter conducive to. I'm willing to risk it. Yeah. I was like, why are we kept telling around? Why don't we give it a shot and see, man? Yeah. So what happened? You just gave it up and, like, how does someone who, you know, how do you deal with that where you're like, you know, it's the it's the undone project, you know, that you have, you know, sitting there haunting you.

Are you able to sleep at night? Or is it? Well, look at me. I've barely been able to. Yeah. It's been, it bugs me. It does bug me. That it never got finished.

There were a couple of weeks I had stuff going on and I didn't get back here. And then when I came back, it was like the moment. It was worse. It was worse. So like the stuff he had done got undone. All right. So then it was kind of like, well, you do feel like you're not making a dent. Yeah.

And if you're not making a dent, then what's the point? Yeah, unfortunately. But five days. Five days is a long time. And you won't have to be alone in the office? Oh, I was looking for me. He's not coming. I was just going to sleep here.

Oh, good. Josh is here. Hey, hey, Josh. I'm going to do it, Waltham here 12 hours a day. Don't worry. All right. So I feel that you have to just be a little bit more patient, Q. Okay. It will happen.

One day it will happen. The day after we go to Gettem's funeral. One day it will happen, but it can't happen on Q's timeline. Okay. Yeah, you're only the boss. It's fine. That's crazy. You're right.

You're absolutely right. You're absolutely right. This doesn't happen on the set of Joker's. No, it does. It does. It does. It does. You don't think five.

Five days is a good, like he comes back and his life is different. A new get him. From Q. West? Yeah, he goes back. He sees the office all clean and he's like, I have to keep it this way. No. No, I don't think it'll be, I don't think it'll be the trick or the spark that's going to ignite a new. I think you'll have a clean office for like maybe seven days and then eventually it all reverts back to chaos.

rather quickly and rather infuriating and you know and but if we do it the right way that's the wrong way if we do it the right way we can have it for we can have a clean office

you know in perpetuity yeah but if you do it the wrong way the Q way yes where you just do it you do it under the guise

of like get him out of the office and like you know that's that's that's the wrong way mentally so our job Any doctor would be like that is absolutely the wrong approach. Our job is as ever to endure. Just endure until the moment's right.

I've had a, I've had a psychiatrist offer to do a Zoom in. Really? Yeah. And to figure out a proper way. Okay. To approach this. And maybe we should do it. But it's a young female, though.

Oh, what do you think that means? I don't know if he won't take her seriously. No, no. No, not at all. I just, I wonder if he's willing to. Oh, he'll be like, okay, little girl. No, no, no. I'm not going to be taking advice from you.

No, no. No, no, no. I don't know if he, I don't know if he's as comfortable revealing all his secrets. To a woman. To a, to a younger, 20-something-year-old female rather than like a grizzled 60-year-old male. Oh, I thought that's what we were doing at the Batsal party. Yeah, man. What would you, like, if you had to reveal things, like personal things, would you, would you want it, would you rather have a 20-something-year-old psychiatrist, female, or a 60-something-year-old male psychiatrist?

I don't think that that doesn't matter. It doesn't, it's the... What if she looks like, Tate, whatever, her last name is? Yeah, Jack Hughes's girlfriend. I just think of it's if I feel comfortable with them. Right. Like, I really don't care about... It doesn't matter.

No. Okay. That's good. That's growth. There isn't a party that would look at a like a 22-year-old graduate and be like, you haven't lived yet. Like you went to school. No, like my physical therapist is pretty young. And she's still going for education. And it does not affect me one day.

I feel like that. Is she making you walk up and down fucking three stairs? This is a lot more involved than you fucking walking up three stairs and walking down them. Okay. See you next week. My physical therapist went on vacation. She had to go to a bridal party, a bridal shower recently. and they gave me another one, and I did not feel comfortable with her.

How come? She made a work. Well, she touched me. And it's... You were just fucking crying that you weren't getting massages. Okay, no, no, no, no. It's, yes. How did you touch you?

Like, when I was, like, part of my physical therapies, I do laps around the, the training area. And she kept putting her hand, like, on my shoulder inside, and it just was, it was, it was very bothersome. Really? Yeah. What was you doing that for? I guess, I don't know, like, maybe to make sure I was steady, but it. It was, like, I've been walking pretty good.

Like, it wasn't like, yeah. Yeah. And I guess maybe it just, you know, but, you know, Jessica, who's my physical therapist, she's, she's amazing. Like, you know, she knows, you know. Not to touch you. Should we get, can we get her in maybe to figure out this problem then? Maybe she'll be. How do we get to clean up this shit hole?

Yeah. Can you want to ask her if she'd be on? My physical therapist. Yeah. It seems like you're very comfortable with her. Could she, like, as in the guise of this is good for your. rehabilitation that you clean up all the garbage. Like, you know, like instead of walking up three stairs and down three stairs, how about

you walk down a flight of stairs and throw something out in the dumpster? If she presented it that way, would it be more palatable to you? Possibly. I'll ask her if she wants to... Just watch out to the garbage. Oh, my God. I got on the fire department, like, fairly soon after 9-11. And there wasn't this much,

there wasn't this much psychiatric help for the fucking guys who survived by 11 to get this guy to fucking empty a garbage can. That's one of his job duties. But we didn't know as much as we know now that that's not the way to handle humans.

You know, it's not like just suck it up and fucking be a man. No. It's like, all we did was when World War II with that. It's not like we got to be a little bit more delicate.

Pussy foot around. It's got in the country in a great. You don't stick your finger in their face. You use your hand to lift them up. Yeah. People are sensitive these days, Q. This is it the hard scrabble 80s that you remember.

All those guys are your fire department. You know, like they're broken inside. They just don't know it. Well, yeah, that's, again, because they were at 9-11. I think that's the bigger issue. They saw their friend. They lost 20 of their friends in an hour. Okay.

True. Good point. You know, but Gettam has issues throwing away stuff, but we know that. Yeah. Every garbage day says 9-11. You know, but listeners have said, we've probably spoke about this too often on Mike. No. Yeah.

Yeah, they're not, they feel that this is a private matter, some that don't, that doesn't need to be air. and for do you think they're saying out of kindness to get him or out of boredom of hearing about it? I think a little bit of both, right? I think it would be accurate. Okay. You know, that it's something that needs to be addressed privately. We've tried to address it with them privately. It didn't work.

We had to move to public shaming. That doesn't work either. Yeah, yeah. So, like, there's that third option I've been trying to say. And you're right. And you're right. And no one's really taking that approach seriously, though. Correct.

Right. So we just don't want to take the opportunity that he's out of town for five days. I think it might be more of a setback than a step forward. But how could it get worse? It might be, you know, detrimental to his overall. His fragile psyche? Yeah. Where are we headed with that? What's the ultimate goal with this?

Do you want a broken, blubbering fetal fucking position, get him? Or, you know, nobody wants. A clean office will turn. into a blubbering needle. Well, obviously, in my opinion, this like, these things like cardboard and mailing packages, they're special and they're meaningful to you

because you equate them with memories. You talk about the memories, like almost like photos. Yeah. Yeah, so. I can totally understand. Well, I don't understand it. I'm not going to lie. I don't get it.

But if he had his own place, and that's where he was storing this shit, then I could get it. And I would be like, all right, I don't understand it, but whatever, it does it for you. Right. But keeping literal garbage, what we would consider garbage in the office is like too much. But he hasn't had his own place, though. So, you know. People would raise him a lot of money to get his own place and he just buried it in a pipe in a yard. No, he's looking.

There's just no place around here that he's able to. It's true. It was five, six years ago? Yeah. Okay. I mean, you know. But, I mean, it's not like the, he was in limbo with the ranch coming back. Then the ranch became a, that was never going to happen.

Yeah, it's a long, sorted tail. But. I'm being too hard on him. You're right. You're right. You're right. I agreed to go the love route. But just.

I think we, I think we. But is there anything. the fact that like the three other people in the office don't want it this way and we just have to he just he just inflicts it on us and doesn't care that we don't want it that way and you he's like he's essentially like fuck you i don't care that that that you don't like it this way it's the way that i want it and if you don't like it go fuck yourself can we be fool but you don't you don't think that that's the message being given to us no i think this i think this is a mind that just doesn't think I like that at all.

But he's being told to his face. I don't know why it doesn't sink in, but... But what if we went the opposite way? Okay. What if we became even fucking filthier than him? Okay. Hard to imagine, but it's an idea. What if we just spit on the wall?

Yeah. And then he has to clean it up. We just throw shit out, you know, just leave dirt and food. And we just made it the absolute... So sink to his level. Like something that would be condemned by the board of health. I don't understand how we're not there all right. I let Teddy take a deuce and I don't clean it up.

Yeah. You know, and I just like, oh, it's good. It's fine. That deuce is special to me. Yeah, I got a lot of memories. But, I mean, we're laughing, but that's essentially what is going on. Well, let's do that, though. Let's go the opposite.

Let's make it so fucking unlivable that he's like, I can't live like this either, though. All right. I didn't want to say that out loud because now he knows the plan. I just imagine an office with tons of Teddy's deuses around him not cleaning them up. Stepping around them. Yeah, exactly. All right, let's give that a shot. I'll see what I can bring it.

Okay. I was picking up sticks to throw on the side of the road. The other day, there's a ton of Norm's dog shit in the front yard. I'll bring it on the end. Yeah. All right, that's playing. I don't know what we'll call that, but that's Operation. Useless.

Pigs die. I love it. I'm in. Is that the loved one? Is that treating him with love, though, or is that... I think that's... What's that called when you do the opposite? What's that called?

Oppositional? No. Opposite of tough love? No, it's like when you, you tell a little kid, like, oh... Reverse psychology? Reverse psychology, yes. A little fucking... Reverse tisdology.

Yeah. We're going to bring dog shit in. Don't make us. Dyslexia in psychology. Right? We do a little dyslexia. We tell you we want it filthier now. You know, I'll just honk a fucking loogie on the wall right on the fucking, right on one of the pictures.

Everybody does it when we come in. We'll tell everybody to do it. The wall of loogie. They're your pictures. No, they're your pictures. You live here. Does it bother you that, like, Over the years there's been people like Danhausen or stuff that where you're like, get them in.

Get him in as a guest on the show. And I'm like, I'm not doing that. I didn't know this. I'm like, I'm not bringing Danhausen. Anyone to this office. Well, if you told us, we would clean it up. But I would think that that's like just common sense. Like, I'm not going to bring in one of these guests that I can get us to this, to bring him into this.

Like, this is, this represents me if I do that. I can't have, I can't have that. So cute. This is how you live, huh? I'll bring Brooke Shields in here to talk on Mike. You can get Brooke Shields? Of course. Really?

She's been on like the last three seasons. Absolutely. Her husband directed the Jogers movie. She's been in the last three seasons. She's great. She's a friend. I could get her in it. I wouldn't bring her into this.

No. Okay. What does it have to look like for you to bring in a Danhausen or a... We've got to bring her in that door, first of all. Yeah. What's wrong with that door? No, no, no. It would be whatever Jessica pull off.

imagine is... I was going to say, don't even let it see that part. Josh, sorry. Whatever Josh could pull off, sorry, Josh. I believe would be probably, I have faith in Josh, that he could pull off Brook Shieldsworthy

office. I can't bring I can't, you what's the problem? What are the receipts? What are you going to? What's the problem? The carpet, there's bits of paper, straw, there's chocolate wrappers in the corner over there. What's that mystery stain on the fucking

wall? See it? It looks like somebody dropped the soda. What is that mystery stain? Anybody know? I know. It could be just, it could be a soda that bounced out of the,

because the trash can doesn't have a bag, so. It's just soda, you. Sure, all right. Standing the wall. I mean, there's, there's, this backings of stickers. Do you feel your, your overly, are you overly critical, though, you think,

maybe? About the soda stain on the wall? Or the overall in general that maybe you're, Chocolate fucking wrappers? Your standards are a little bit unrealistic. Candy wrappers that are thrown in the corner over there? You think I'm being a little... He's a fancy guy.

You don't have candy wrappers all over your floor at home? There's two straw wrappers right there. There's all this shit. All right. Well, maybe we need the... We need the character. What is that? Give me any of those receipts.

Well, he saves the receipts because he enters them into his phone, and then he gets points to play a game. No problem with that, but why are they on our tape? Like, why are they going to put right where I'm going to, where I would sit, Brooke Shields is an empty and open bottle. Yeah. There's three receipts. But they wouldn't be here if Brooke was here. If Brooke won't come here because they're there.

All right, but we need the carrot, though, then. You're like, guys, I got Brooke Shields. That's the carrot. We got lined up. She's coming April. Right. Whatever. I can't do it.

I don't have any faith. Oh, you got to have faith. you've got to have faith. That's the first thing that you guys. If you were like, this is the day I'm bringing Brooke Shields, and I would come down myself. I'm not doing it. I'm not putting my money on Gettem.

We've asked him to do it a thousand times and he won't do it. But that's not fair then, though, because you're not, you're saying, you're allowing him to rise to the occasion. He could put me off his tomorrow and ride to the occasion. And then I walk in and be like. But there's no Brooke Shields coming. Just you're coming. Who cares?

Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. That's it. It's a blue lagoon. This is a shit lagoon.

The brown lagoon. This is when we podcasting. I mean, when is the last time anything's been cleaned around these parts? This probably, this all happened last night. So it was reviewing history? This is all from last night. It was a late night recording reviewing history.

Right? The reviewing history guys were in. And I saw them. had all these straws and shit. I don't, and they're having paper straw fights. Empty soda bottles. Obviously, they didn't clean up

the rappers. I don't drink with the straws up. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So it must have been those guys, Kew. Yeah.

It's not their office. I'll tell Rob, the straws are now prohibited in the office. Okay. That'll help. Q's new decree. No straws.

Again, everybody's got to suffer. I mean, what is going on with the air filter over there? It's like, well, that's because we don't have any windows. No, I know, but like,

what's that? red alert on it there. Does that mean change the filter two years ago? Wait. Because it's just pulling in air through like every fucking shit that's accumulated in there. Changed the fucking filter. I didn't know you had to change the filters. I didn't know you had to. I thought this just worked forever.

I thought he just turned it on and a little dog danger just gets sucked up in there. And then somehow it grinds it into like, you know, to nothing. No, it's not how it works. It's not at all how it works. Well, that's not getting them. fault, though. Okay. That might be in my fault. I brought the air filter in two years ago. Yeah. We replaced the filter a couple times since then. I don't know if we have. Yeah, because I have your wife order it, remember? Right. What's the red lightning?

It means that it's... Well, that's actually not that bad. I know. No, there's dust flying all over the place. That's not that bad. No, I clean it. I just forget to hit the, you got to hit the special button sequence to change it. Can you rise for Brooks Shields or Danhausen? Sure. See, you've got to put it in. Office first. No, office first. and then I'll book a guest. Like, you can come in one week, like successive weeks, and the office is nice and looks good. Yeah, I can't. How many weeks in a row you needed to be? A month.

Oh, my God. Yeah, I know. I know. It's tough. Do we work in here, though, too. You got to remember, this is not just a recording studio. Like yesterday, we were just putting together Patreon gifts. Yeah, that.

The thing, the podium really can't go anywhere else. The podium is not the problem. Can we set up, I'm just what I mean you again? Like from the green wall forward, can we put up drapes in this? I'd hide all his shit behind it. No, we can't. That's what he did in the room back there. Yeah, I know.

That's my idea. Yeah, but now there's like snow dress of garbage. How is a sight of out of mind? No. Brooke's not going to look behind the curtain. We just tell her, Brooke, don't go behind the curtain. Okay. You know what?

That's fine. No, sit out. If there's a look back. Brooke would love the rocking horse over there. Oh, my God. I might have a child. You need a month of a cleaned office. I need a month of Josh approved office.

Josh approved. Yes. I need him to say, come in with a checklist and be like, check, check, check. Then I thought. This room? No, the office. And then I'll, then I'll start getting us guests in here. So just this room and the front there?

Everything, everything, everything, everything. Why? When are they going back there in our back room? I don't know. Come on. Let me just take a look at this. Can't do it. All right.

So. It's got to be Josh level. So when is QSth? Ninth. Ninth. It's in less than, yeah. Okay. So by what comes after May?

May 9th? So May 9th. Yeah. I would imagine May 9th forward to June 9th. Then you'll have a clean office from May 9th to June 9th. If he pulls that off. I will get... It has to be a fucking...

It has to be a caliber... A caliber guest. Yeah, it can't just be... No, no, no. Oh, this is my barber from Brooklyn. Here's jiggy. No, no, no. It will be a guess that you're like, oh, yeah, wow.

Yeah. Sox knocked off. Then we'll immediately pick them up, so you're not fucking mad because they're socks on... God for bad, there's socks on the floor. For a minute. or a month or a year or three All right, all right.

I think we buy a new carpet. This thing is... It's got a lot of dog hair on it. And it came with the office. No, it didn't. No? No? We bought this new?

This one right here? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's probably the second carpet. Yeah. Oh, wow. I think we should. Looks so we need a third.

All right. All right. So new carpet, what else we need again just so I know. Look, I think if we get this place clean, we get rid of this carpet, we get a new carpet, maybe. I can't get rid of the carpet that's under. Yeah, but we can get it cleaned. We can get like Stanley Steamer in here.

Pay them fucking 80 bucks or whatever cost, let's say 120, because I'm always wrong. They just clean all the carpets and stuff. So we've got to get all the shit out of here. Yes. Oh, come on. That's a lot of work. But the shit doesn't belong here.

No, we've got to get the table out of here. We got to get all, we got to get the rocking horse out of here. The treasure chest. Yeah. The white horse. But if that room in the back was cleaning together, all this shit could live in there. No, it can't. It's not enough room.

I don't know what. There's not. Let me go look. There's really, well, there's not enough room as is. But I don't think there's enough room anyway for that. As it is. He's going to do a little recon. His office is clean.

Okay. Just wait until he comes back. He asks about the packing foam. What's the packing foam? All that foam that was in here. Yeah, we need that foam. I know. you never know when you might need foam

no the foam is for shipping yeah oh he's back oh man you're in the back I had to step over oh my there's two pizza hot boxes just sitting in the back now let me look at the dates on these to see when they were ordering

okay all right Tuesday and it's now Friday yeah that's acceptable March 22nd it's only the 20... 25 days. Five days.

It's sitting in the fucking back. Why don't you just fucking throw them away? Why do you throw garbage back there? Like that's going to attract box. No, we got hair. Look at this. Oh yeah, that's right. I forgot about the hair.

Inside the box are still crumbs food. Rappers, dirty napkins. I mean, it's what? This is just sitting in the fucking back. So a little birdie just told me something, Q. Go ahead. About your own personal office that maybe isn't as clean.

Felix Unger, his test his white glove test might say. I don't know. I've heard that it may not be as... I'm sorry, I can't hear you. By the way, that's my... There's no food is it.

This is wild. Don't put it back. I'm going to throw it out now. I'll put it right here. Yeah, just put it right there. It'll be here next week. No, it won't. It's going out. out tonight. All right. We've made your point.

Yeah. Don't let Teddy get those fucking pizza crumbs. He's allergic. He's allergic to pizza. Is he allergic to yeast? Yeast. Yeah. Norm is allergic to yeast. Like wheat. Oh, my God. Teddy's allergic to so much shit. I wouldn't doubt it. It's just empty food packages. All right. And stuff piled up high against the door.

What was the date? What was the date? that circle the day people. May 9th to June 9th. Okay. You're going to come in and it's going to have... Oh, that'll be different. The only thing that I'll say is I don't know if we can get the... We can get this carpet cleaned, but I don't know if I can get it.

I am not fucking moving the fucking couch. The couch is like... I am not... That fucking closet. Oh, that's... You cannot touch that. It falls apart constantly. But everything... You're going to be able to eat off of it, though.

I mean, I guess we could just order another one of these. That doesn't fall apart when you fucking do it. That's wasting money, though. It's good enough. We just put a We just put a bungee cord around it And they keep it Hold it together.

Okay. So five day old pizza boxes Just sitting in the back. We can agree that that's over the line. That's not going to happen. That is the end of that. Okay. That's the end of the five day old pizza boxes.

Okay. We're going to, we're going to make a promise right now, right? Yeah. No more five day old pizza box. Okay. How many days? What's a,

yeah, what is a, I mean, what's a professional? For an office professional? Yeah. Get it out of it. that night.

Yeah, why not just throw it out as soon as you're done? There's no need for fucking pizza boxes filled with crumbs and food to be sitting in the back of our office for five days. Okay. So you're talking has to be within a couple hours. I mean, let's go 24 hours. Okay. All right. 24 hours is not crazy, right?

All right. I can do that. Yeah. All right. Why did you save the pizza boxes? I'm trying to defend you here. They're going out Sunday. You can't just go out Sunday, you know.

You can't use that excuse though for everything. No. Why do you feel like it's not a big deal to have the old pizza boxes there? You can just be honest. And the cans of beer. I don't know if you were you saving them. Were you going to bring them to the aluminum center? No, I tossed them in the recycling dumpster out back. Okay.

You're not bringing, you're not making any money off the aluminum? No. You really can't. You have to so much. It's, yeah. Well, you're making a good start up with all the aluminum we got back there? That's only a couple days. Okay.

Yes. So you go out to Wawa, right? You go out to Wawa? No. No? You don't go anymore? No. But that's a coffee maker sitting right next to you.

I make my own coffee, yeah. Oh, wow. Okay. Do you go out at all during the week? Yeah. Do you leave here during the week and go out? Yeah. I go back to Debbie's. Okay.

So can you take it when you leave? It's dumpsters out. Just throw it out in the fucking garbage can out front then. But then it's not recycled. I don't give a fuck about recycling. Nobody cares. Nobody gives a fuck, get him. You have to say to yourself, what's more important?

The earth or cue? Yeah. And I think we know the answer. So wait, so take it to your car, drive to the back, dump it and drive and leave. His car looks like. Oh, well, I know. It looks like the office. It looks like the office on steroids.

I wanted to lead with love. Yeah, that train fucking left the station. Well, the pizza box is the thing that you're like. I mean, you could over. overlook perhaps the stain on the wall or the chocolate wrappers piled up in the corner of the floor where we record. But the pizza boxes. How are you not getting upset? Do you care how it happens?

No. At this point, you don't even care how it happens. Because I could get in the guys, like the guys, our guys, our team, whoever they'll have told me. I'll come down one day. We'll make a fun day out of it and we'll clean it up. I don't care how it happens. You don't even care at this point. It doesn't matter how it happens.

But why are you? Why are you here more than anybody? Yeah. Why are you okay with that? What I just pulled back from there? The pizza boxes? I gave up. I gave up on, look, he's not the only guy I gave up on.

I gave up on people. Yeah. At a certain point, you can't, you got to just let it go or else it'll drive you crazy. So I allow, I want my mental sanity over holding a grudge over a pizza box. So I should just let it go. Like he fixed my dog carriage. Yeah. That's worth fucking 10 old pizza boxes.

He fixed it for me. The argument is not... He can't do both. No, he's not capable of doing both. Obviously, if he was, he would do it. I guess. If he was capable of throwing at the pizza boxes and doing all the stuff, he would do it. He's just not capable of it.

Yeah. But we could get it done and it could probably stay that way for a month. but inevitably Slowly It'll probably revert as to Not the not the standards Right of May 9th By June 10th

You know it'll be Blue again Yeah Let's see what happens Why don't we just see what happens I mean should we just stop talking about it and live like this That's what I have been doing I've been doing for like the past two years.

I rarely talk about it. Yeah. Because, and it's a tough situation because it's not just a recording studio and we don't have a lot of room. It seems like we do, but a lot of stuff is larger, like the podium. I guess we can get rid of the treasure chest. We don't really need it. I do think that back room could fit a lot of this stuff. It was just done properly.

All right, we'll do it. We're going to make it happen, and it's going to be, we better have a caliber, though. I'll get a caliber, though. We don't have a caliber. Yeah. Yeah, then. No, I'll get a caliber. There's going to be egg.

I know you hate eggs. I don't like eggs. I don't know my face, skew. I'll get a caliber. I'll get a caliber. I'll give you guys options on who I should go after, and then you guys can pick from those options. is the one people really All the time.

Dan House is a fucking man, dude. All right, I'll, uh, he'll, you know, he's with WWE now, so he'll be coming through New York. Okay. No, I, I can get him. Okay. He's a pal. All right. All right.

I like this. We have a date. You know, our moon shot. Yeah. This is our moon shot. That fucking NASA didn't get to the moon or night. You're right. You're right.

You're absolutely right. So give us a little bit of time to fucking get our shit together. Sunday. Everything happens on a Sunday. Well, Yeah, but our goal is to, you know, everyday Sunday. Oh, nice. Nice.

It's on your calendar. Sounds like something a coach on office. Every day. Do not, ask not what you could do for your country. Every day is Sunday. But it sounds like this sort of thing in an office coach should be saying. He's an office coach in name only. He's not capable of doing it.

I don't accept that. Why, though? Why are you not able to? If he had a disease, you could see, like, Polaro. You could see, like polio or something. Sure. You wouldn't be like... Oh, he doesn't?

You would not be on his balls the way you are. No, I wouldn't be like, dude, walk. Oh, my God, you can't walk down to the dumpster with those fucking metal braces on your legs? But I... Come on. Suck it up. He's thrown things out before. Rarely.

But he's done it. Yeah. Which means it's possible. It's possible. That's, and my faith in him is so, so much. You have to, you can't see his disease. You're right. Is his disease just that he's lazy? Is that the disease? He's just lazy? No. No? It's not laziness. It's part of the dysfunction of...

So I'm being a bully a little bit. No. It's 2026. What are you up to? You know what? Shaming him. Let's just live the way we live. No, no, no. We're definitely going to go where we want to fucking... We want the caliber. You want a Dan house. Yeah. You throw it out there to the listener base and promise him a caliber and then look at him. He's

sweating now. He knows that this office is going to look. You know it's going to be like, holy shit. His last on return text from Danhausen, he's like, oh, shit. Now I got to produce. If I can't get Dan Housen, I'll put on the Dan Housen makeup and come in here. This place is going to look like a brand new office.

Okay. Yeah. I'm excited by that. And I'm going to call in some favors. Wow. I'm going to call in some favors from. So once again, it falls on you. As always,

as always. Calling some favors to the gang. Yeah. You know, the gang who are always helpful in offering to help. And I think that... We could have like a pizza party and then throw away the pizza boxes at the end of it. That's the party. That's novel.

Yeah, yeah. Like, you know, it's not eating the pizza. That's the fun of it. It's throwing out. It's throwing it out. According to Q, this is the fun part. I'm not going to be the bad guy here. I'm not.

I refuse to accept that on the bad guy here. Get him. Who's the bad guy here? Come on. He's the fifth. I'll tell you after Q West. He wants to go to Q. West.

That's a 148 right there. Oh, yeah. He's playing chess. You're playing Tiddlywich, Q. You don't even have a checkerboard. Look at me. I'm like a dope. I've lost.

Cuelless. Yeah. Tell him, Steve, Dave.