Tell Em Steve-Dave - #678: Q-dini

Episode Date: May 31, 2026

Walt plans a treacherous journey, Walt & Bry meet a knife thrower/serial killer expert, prison letters, Walt’s been moonlighting, Memorial Day, The Mandalorian. https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/tesd

I said of a letter about jerking off into his own mouth. When I touch my dick with my hand and jack off and it get warm, and I'd be nutting all over the place, I'd be thinking of your wet, warm pussy. Tell him, Steve, Dave. I feel trained. My life sessions. I feel like a rag that's just been, like, squeezed. I got to go to JFK after this.

No. Why? My daughter's coming in on a plane. I got to go get her. Oh, why is that good? JFK, yeah. I've never been there before.

Remember that the traffic we were in just the other day? Yeah. That's what you're going. Even at night? You're getting fucked coming and going when you go to JFK. Even if it's that late at night? Dude, two in the morning. I'll pay twice as much to fly into Newark than to fly into, I'd rather, I'll do anything

not to go to JFK. You're doing the belt park where in it's traffic to it. And then when you get out, it's traffic all the way back to Staten Island. How long you take them and get there, you think? It's probably going to take you, put it this way. You'll probably get to the Verrazano in about 45 minutes, and then they'll probably take an hour for you to get the JFK from 13 miles or something like that. It's a nightmare.

I was planning a two-hour trip. Yeah, it sounds about right. Where's you coming from? Dublin. Get out of here, really? Oh, international traveler. Nice. That's cool.

Anyway, hello and welcome to this week's discussion. Yeah. You know, it'll be fine. You'll be fine. Sorry. I never been to JFK, though. Yeah. And then when you get to JFK, it's just a shithole.

It's like a shitty, you're going to get so confused by like where to go. Is it not come? No. I'll be navigating. I'll face time with you. It's the worst. Okay. I wish I had better news for you.

All right. All right. I'm sorry. Well, it's coming in so late, I thought it would be okay. It's just JFK is no matter what, it's always, what you'll do good on is Staten Island won't be bad that night. So you're getting away. Okay. It's that one little Brooklyn spot of Brooklyn.

See the yellow and the red? You go at 4 a.m. on a Sunday and that's still there. What does everybody fucking doing out here, man? Why doesn't anybody go home? It's because it's so twisty. Right? It's so twisty. People don't know how to drive.

Oh, that's me. Yeah. People in Brooklyn don't know how to fucking drive either, so don't worry about it, pal. You'll be fine. for Brooklyn, they don't drive much so that when they get on the road, they don't know what they're fucking doing. Anyway.

Yeah, we were just on the Bill Parkway a couple days ago on Memorial Day. Yes. Me and Walt and Rob. We did a Patreon episode where we went to a guy's house in Long Island. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Wasn't that bad? It was Memorial Day. Oh, that's not bad. And it was raining. Yeah, that's okay. Because Memorial Day in New York is an odd thing because there's so many transplant,

everybody goes home. So Manhattan is actually is not empty, but it empties out. Emptier. Oh, yeah, it's great. So that was actually a good timing on your part. Yeah, this guy, this is one of my favorite ones. We did a bribe tries where I go out and try a new hobby.

Yeah. And this one was, uh, was, um, serial killers. The guy had a fuck ton of letters from serial killers. Holy shit. Binder after binder after binder after binder. That he wrote to them? No, it was another guy. He acquired them.

And, uh, there was another guy who had written to these serial killers. over the course of It's the mouth rushmore of serial killers Name a serial killer I mean Gacy Obviously Got him

Big time Yeah He sent him a letter About jerking off Into his own mouth Yeah And drew up And drew a look

And drew a picture of it Three times a night He bragged about Had he could go three times Into his own mouth Ha I'm not And he drew a diagram

Of how he does it Yeah Here's how you do it Isn't your big fat guy Yeah He has to put his legs Up against the wall And when he lays down

On his cot and then he could squirt it into his own mouth. God, he's locked up these fucking maniacs. And the guards are like, here he goes again. Yeah. He's jerking off into his mouth again. Somebody's got to clean it up. What do you think he gets out of that? What did it say in the letter?

I don't know. I mean, you could ask the question, what does he get out of raping and killing men? Well, that, well, the difference is this. Everybody knows that's fucked up. There are people who do this. You know what I mean? Like this subset of people. And I never like to kinkshank.

You know that, you know that. Yeah. I think I, for nearly anything. If you're, if you're not hurting people, I don't care what you do. I just don't understand this one. Just jerk off into your own mouth. How do you even do it? He just, he was, did you take a picture of the.

No, we did. Well, we'll have it on camera. Yeah, it's on camera. We'll get you, we'll get you a screenshot. But it's like, yeah, like, if you can imagine putting your, like, was his back against the wall or his legs are against the wall? His legs are up against the wall. Okay.

And he's laying in his cot. And I was saying, didn't he have a big fat belly? Well, I'm sure in prison you lose that, you lose that big beer gut. You don't have beer and everything. High protein diet is he eaten? He's ripped. Keto. He had this little pen drawing a diagram of how he does it at the bottom of the letter,

like of how his legs are up against the prison wall and his back is in the cot. And then he put a little sticker of a clown next to it. It's like he embraced the clown shit. A weird letter to write to someone. Well, I mean, you're a maniac. Yeah. You know the person's only writing you because you're a serial killer. Yeah.

You are playing it up like, you know, like, you're just embracing it. Yeah. You've got to run with it, right? Yeah. Yeah, I guess so, but it's an odd thing. And you want that person that you're writing back like you're writing to to continue writing letters and sending you money for your conference. like putting money into your account. Oh, is that how you get these guys?

You put money into their account. Yeah. This guy was a, the guy who acquired all the letters and stuff was a prison guard. I think he was doing it on the down low. Oh. You know?

I don't think he used his prison guard connections, though. It didn't seem like that, right? No, he lied and said he owned a go-go bar. And that's it. They would be like sent pictures of the girls. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Of course.

And his wife was instrumental in writing too. I think she lured some of the guys. So is it just letters? Or they have like shirts and artwork. He had some art work. He had this. Like a par of go painting? He had a pair of Dahmer's glasses he wouldn't stop talking about.

We didn't get to see him though because they were alone, right? Yeah. Yeah. Dommer's glasses that he was wearing when he got killed in jail and he was murdered in jail by another inmate. Oh shit. Yeah. I didn't get beat with a broom handle or some shit like that. Yeah.

Or I thought it was a dumbbell, but maybe I'm wrong. I thought it was a broom handle too. Yeah. Broken off broom handle. I bet you that guy who did that, though, thought he was going to be another household name. Christopher Scarvo. You know? Yeah, but he's not.

No, no way. You got to know, you got to have your inside baseball knowledge to know who that guy was. Yeah, that's not a name that rolls off anybody's tongue in America. Nightstalker stuff. Oh, yeah. Son of Sam. Okay. Hillside Strangler, one of them.

What an odd thing to want in your house. He said he sold off most of the art. He said he had a fuck ton of art too. But he sold off most of that. I wonder if like I came here and somebody had sent into the office. They're like, Q, happy birthday. And it was like a drawing of,

yeah, all this stuff is fine. Like, I use the Elvis stuff. But like, it was, we just clean this fucking place. Yeah, don't. Please get a P-O box, motherfucker. and pipet every week Do not send

Q any fucking gifts Well, how much shit did we pull out of here From That's not on me, I didn't do anything wrong What do you want? You get a P.O. Box, though. Yeah. Yeah, I'll get him checking every day.

I'll get one here. That'll be one of his duties. But, but. But if somebody sent in one of the clown paintings that Gacy did, I don't know that I would be like, I'm going to hang this on my wall. Why? I just don't want to celebrate the guy.

You think it's bad mojo. I think it's, I don't know. Yeah, maybe it's a little bad mojo, but also like, fuck him. I don't want to give him wall space. Like, fuck. What am I saying to people? Like, hey, check this out. This was done.

You know, like that fucking had the crawl space bodies. This was done by him. Like, I think. I'd be proud to say that. Yeah, I think you have a, you don't need that, though, in your life, though, to, like, be, what's it, gorgadious? Gagarius. Gagarius? You're very, like, you can talk to people and you don't need that, but, like, some people are very reserved and they have people over.

And they're like, they're like, hey, you know, what a conversation start. Some people need conversation starters. I'm like, that's from action comics in the 80s. That's great artwork, original. Oh, look at this. Yeah. You know, at one time he had 26 skulls under his house? Yeah.

But there is an insatiable desire for this kind of content and collectors out there. I get it. It's not like I don't get it. I do get it. But I, you know, I wouldn't take part of it. And Dr. D said this, well, her husband set this all up for us. He knows the guy. And it was cool that he, Dr. D's husband is trying to parlay.

because he has he's kind of like partnered with the guy with the collection. They're going to try to like get it a TV show or a book deal or something, print the letters and everything. And I was able to hook up Dr. D's husband,

John, with Nichelle. And they've already had a phone call powwow and they are fucking both super excited about about the potential of all this material being able to get it out there

on the ID channel and all the other places all the usual suspects where to have this content Don't lead with the letter of a guy jerking off and doing it. Are you crazy?

I think that's the wrong That's the fucking person That's the money That's the money That's sweet seat right there I guess you're right He has audio tapes Of them talking in jail

Yeah Of the most famous serial killers Like so you're talking about A lot of stuff that nobody even knows exists. Sure, and this guy's got him. This guy's got it.

And, you know, I talked to Bronte and the shell, and he was, like, he was hyped up. I get it. You do, like, a documentary-type show about the letters of serial killers. It's pretty cool. I get it. And the audio, too, in their own words. Yeah. Those are big.

Yeah. Are there any serial killers alive today? Is son of Sam still alive? Who, Son of Sam? Yeah. I think he may be the only of the, of the, of. Of the Mount Rushmore guys. Yeah.

How old is he now? He's got to be in the 80s. Oh, he's up there, yeah. Probably like early 70s maybe. You know, wow. All right. I wonder if he watches a practical joke is in prison.

E.T.K. Most definitely, I bet you. A lot of people don't. We got letters from prison all the time. Jerry Richway just died recently. I imagine that that is something that they put on the TV to keep the prisoners calm. Yeah, we've heard that a lot, actually. They just shut up and they laugh when they watch it to the air it all the time.

I've gotten some weird letters from prison, but nobody... What if they wrote your letter and a guy was like, yeah, I jerk off mental mouth thinking of you, Q, after I watch an episode. Here's my P.O. Box. Here's a poll right. I see you got a new P.O. Box, Q. I hear you. I don't want to risk sending this sensitive material to the studio. Yeah, no, I get it.

So you get letters from guys in prison? Mainly women in prison. Mainly women in prison. Well, we've gotten guys in prison, too, yeah. Some shorties, huh? I haven't answered any. No? I don't know.

What am I going to do? What was the, how do you remember? I can't answer to the text half the time. I'm going to answer him in prison. Oh, speaking of, Tom wants me to tell you to return his text. He was suggesting a wrestling podcast to you or something like that. And I think he was a little put off, which didn't answer him. I mean, I was talking about Tom Millesheski?

Yeah. He thinks he's got enough fucking pole to fucking get you to answer him. He's getting a little too big for his britches, actually. That's why I didn't answer him. I was like, Oh, temerity. I never.

No, Tom, if you're listening, I, in May, I think I was home 12 days in May. Yeah. Yeah,

I'm not fucking spending my time, answering time. Can answer tips on the road? I don't want to. Man, I need a break. You know. But yes, Tom, whatever you want.

Whatever you want, I'm not going to do it. Just tell him, just be it. I want to pull the band-aid off. You're not going to do it. Just got to wait until after June or July. Maybe even August. I'm 27. It's hard.

It's hard when we're in production. I forget how much work it is. I used to be able to tell people right to their face. No, I'm not going to do it. Yeah. The more my circle got bigger. It has grown. It's obligations.

Then it feels a lot harder to be like, no, I don't want to do that. Well, especially because you like them so much and they're friends and they do so much for us. Yeah. So it's hard for me to be like. That's why I don't want to do it, want to be sure. No, no. That's why I just don't answer them. I got to answer it because then I need them for something.

You need them, right? That's true, I guess. I once found a treasure trobe of prison letters at the flea market once. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Anything. Did you keep them? I lost them in the fire.

I had a couple scanned. Anything that made you go like, well, there was word scanning. So what was the content about? It was like, you know, how it was between a guy named Kari, oh, sorry, a girl named Kari and a guy named Bronco. Branco. And, you know, it would turn sexual usually towards the end. He texted me at 12 at noon yesterday. Did you finish book 8 yet?

He did. Wow. Oh, that's not about a wrestling podcast. This is what he texts texted to me. That's about dungeon crawler, John. Right, yeah. Or Dan? Carl.

Carl. Read it. Loved it. All right. Now I've answered. He said, please provide a cue with a verbal thrashing next episode anyway on returning text messages. I sent a one about doing a wrestling podcast. I want about dungeon crawler Carl.

Crickets. Okay, hold on. I just answered the dungeon crawler Carl one. All right. That's pretty good. That's only less than 24 hours. and he's already getting his fucking panties all fucking in a bunch? When you've known the guy for decades,

and it's still over 24 hours, then you can fucking complain. Okay, so the day that I had dental surgery, he texted me, this is early April. I was all whacked out. Hey, Hugh, I had an idea for a Patreon show, but I wanted to run it before you before I taught to Walt about it because you would be a part of it.

Is it okay? I send you the idea for it. Now, excuse me. Now, I did not answer that. It's true. But to be fair, I forgot I even got it. It wasn't like I ignored it. Well, once you skip it, you're like, I'll get to it later, and then more text come in.

Yeah. It's going to done. I find sometimes thinking about how you're going to respond, it kind of like makes you think that you actually sent it. Like when you're kind of thinking of the response? I promise you, I wasn't thinking of the response. I was literally like, I'll just get to this later, and then I don't, because I just nailed it. I'm getting a lot of time. I just did a punishment, and I hated it.

It was like, I want to quit the show. and I'm getting text from the crew was like, that was awesome. I think they know that I walked away being like, fuck this. That sucked. Yeah, if when you, when you, when we have the new season,

they have me at a time machine. That's the punishment. So when you watch that punishment, what's that mean time machine? They made it, it's a joke. They made a goofy fucking fake time machine and I had to step out and claim I was from the future and do stuff.

And it was just brutal. I thought you went to that place, you know, where they're working on, what's that big machine? Arch Hage on Collider? Yeah. No, no. This was a cardboard box at that time that she'd written on the side of it.

Where's that how is that collider thing? Europe. Yeah. That's why maybe you guys did a punishment out there and tried to travel back in time. No, no, no, no. Brutal, brutal punishment. I like this letter that Gidham found. This is one of them anyway.

This is a guy, Branco, Bronco, to carry. I don't have a bunkey, so you already know. when I touch my dick with my hand and jack off and it get warm and I'd be nutting all over the place, I'd be thinking of your wet, warm pussy. Jesus. I need sex letter from you. So listen when I go down state,

I hope you can come and see me, and that way I can kiss you and hug you and grab your ass and grab your pussy. Ooh, this must be written by Trump. And let you rub against my dick so you know I love you. I keep telling Mary Beth that, and she's like, that's not love. Yes, it is. Yeah, let me rub it up against your warm pussy, I said. So this is a serial killer?

No, no, this is some of the letters I found. This is a Gittem's personal, not personal letters. You wrote this? No, no, no, I found him, and I found a whole bunch of them at the flea market. Code named Brock. Oh, so he is in prison. They were both in prison, yeah. Probably out by now.

Yeah, they were not lookers. Oh, you know what they look like? Yeah, because you could look up, because they were currently in prison at the time, so you could look up, like on the inmate finder. Yeah. Like when we found those pictures of Marky looked like? Carrey was old. A little rough? Yeah, a little rough.

Yeah. But hey, man, you fuck to spend six months in state. Then you'd be nothing all over. Your warm hand, it looks like Carrey. Well, the front side explained that he just got bad news and he got sentenced on the 18th on July to 7 with 85%. There's about four more years to go.

Jesus. Are you going to wait for me? Oh, my God. Like, that's all you have when you're in prison, right? Is somebody on the outside, you're hoping that they're waiting for you? What about books? Can you read books? prison?

Why don't people just read books? Yeah, Andy DeFran got a whole bunch of them. Yeah, he got out of prison for that. So this really is disappointing about this letter. Go back to the sex stuff is how fucking amateur hour, this. 2008 was right. This dirty talk is, you've got

all day to sit and think about this shit. This is what you're coming up with? There's no creativity there. I touch my dick with my hand and jack off and get warm and I'd be nothing all over the place. Sometimes I shoot it in to own mouth. Wait a second.

Who cleans prison cells? I think the inmate is responsible. I'm kind of got to keep your own cell clean, right? So when he's not all over the place, he's the one that he's the one that's cleaning that up. That's why you put it in your mouth so you don't have to fucking clean up later. Two birds of one stone, Q? Come on.

Prison etiquette over here. And you got your bunk mate. You know, he doesn't want to fucking have to like step over that or anything. It's, It's not. Great handwriting, though. Right handwriting. Yeah, handwriting isn't bad.

I only had the one side of the conversation because it was from her storage locker. How much did you pay for him? Like $1, $2 for the box. This was like when I was looking for those pictures for you. Yes. So, like, anything I found that was weird. Let's put it out there. That's so weird just to leave that without explaining.

No, you put it out there. I'm looking for like horrific Halloween. Photos. Yeah. Oh, that was a lot. And then I found you the photos of the graduation from an autopsy school. In 1901 or something like that. Oh, wow.

Yeah. I just found them again. I found them again around my shelf. My cousin was in construction, and he was working at a mental hospital up North Jersey somewhere. And he said, when they went into the attic, he said it was just box after box after box of, like, records and people's like, you know, diagnosis and all that shit. And I was like, what did you do with them in? He's like, how would throw him in the dumpster? Oh.

No. Holy shit. You'd be violating all sorts of laws, though, if you were to take them home and distribute them. If it's just garbage, they're throwing it out. So it doesn't belong to anybody once it's garbage. I mean, it's their responsibility to properly dispose of it. And I would probably, I mean, it's not like he would publish them or anything. You could just put an alias there.

Yeah, like patient X. Yeah. Yeah, so Dr. D's husband is doing the serial killer thing. And this guy was also a world champion. Guinness Book multiple. How many records did he hold in the Guinness Book? Over 100. Like over 100 records for knife throwing.

Wow. And it was something that he just, his name is Throdini. And he just, he said that he grabbed some knives, and he just picked it up, and he was a natural. Oh. He was like bullseye. Yeah? Yeah. Like this mutant, latent, latent ability to hit a bullseye every time.

And he had never, he picked it up at age 50. a knife and then threw it and realized he had the skill. I wonder if he picked it up in like his 20s. Would he have been quicker even? I don't know. He won world championships within nine months

of picking up his first knife. Yeah. I'm not weird like I'll never be that good at anything, let alone being able to be the best in the world in the nine months. I would say people would put you as one of the three best jokers.

Jokers. I mean, I mean it in a way. Even that is one of three. It's not like, there's only three on the planet, though. There's no one better than you. And are you, are you counting the other countries that also have their iterations? I got to hope I'm better than that. They are, they are fucking cheap knockoffs.

They're not beloved their Timo. Yeah. I would give it to Faton 2 at this point. Oh, yeah? I think he's an official fictal joker. Yeah. He's been on so much. but even that like

I'm still like a banana and a bunch like nobody's never like that's the best that goes through Deany the wheel of death I'll never be the Deanie of anything you know what I mean right What about the golly No I don't think so

QDini Yeah but what does that mean Say QDini QDini What am I good at At least I got a name for this week's title What are you good at? What are you really good at right now?

Let's list them Pinball I'm not good at pinball That's the big thing about me. I love it so much. I play all the time. I'm terrible at it. I don't know.

I think the best, the thing I do best is writing and I don't get to do it. No. Nothing. Good at, great at? The deanie of nothing. But what are you really good at? And then just work and then focus every bit of your energy. I'm becoming great at it then.

Meaning walking away from your life as you know it right now. I don't know anything. I don't think I have any skill that is like... That can be a refined and honed. Are you a cat whisperer? Like, opposite to season alone? I just love that. Look, I had a conversation with a guy the other day again,

and I said, like, the only time I feel useful on the planet is what I'm feeding outdoor creatures. I was like, that's it. I was like, but I, wow, he threw it in the fucking eating and see where the girls were? That's impressive. But I don't... That's through Dini. Why? What would you say that you are...

I guess start with good. I mean, yeah, you're good at your... the art so you have a skill I don't have that I think you do I think you do

I think you just have to realize it though you're too humble no I think I'm a good writer I think I think I'm a I think if I focus on nothing but writing I would be I still don't think it's one of the best of all times

it's such competitive field though writing that's what I'm saying I don't yeah I mean it would be kind of like ballsy for you to be like Coudini the best writer.

That's what I'm saying. And I don't think I am. So it's like I wouldn't even make the credit. But that's what I'm saying. I don't think there's anything. Like, even like when I was a firefighter, I was like, yeah, I was a good firefighter. I think you have to just, I don't think it's the greatest firefighter of the history.

You're the best kind of like jester. Nah, you're just making shit up to make me feel like a jester. What does that even mean? A core gesture. You kind of like the modern day gesture. You should put some bells on your hat. Yeah, all right. I'm fine.

Believe it, they've done it in the advertising for the show. Yeah. No, I don't think so. Who's better than you guys, though? Yeah, but it's like, that's not really, other people can do it. Like, I think if you go on YouTube, you'll find people who are doing it pretty great.

Like, we just packaged it and sold it. Got other people to pay us for it. But no one's paying to see them fill, you know, arenas. Yeah. Nobody's begging them to do another season. Right. Yeah, but nobody, I'm not filling arenas. Like Brian Queen.

You haven't tried it. Cudini. Yeah, but I'm not doing it. You know what I'm saying? Like, people did arenas to see us together because they like the show, and I'm very proud of it. And I love that. But I don't look at it as like, that's a skill I have. I'm the arena dog.

You know, I feel more grateful I was able to do it rather than like I pulled it off. But you're still one of only three, four people. on the planet who are able to call themselves the greatest of the of the of the of the on the planet do you think we're doing what you think can the camera we we've unseated can the camera we've unseated elephant no way oh my god yes you have nobody he couldn't fill up a fucking college fucking lecture hall yeah but that doesn't matter in in 50 years i'm not going to be able to fill up any any halls or I'm talking about even in the fucking height of Kenneth Cameron's popularity, he wasn't going to fucking Madison Square Guard and fucking, what's that place where does Rockheads dance?

But I bet you if you added up all the people who have watched his show over the, I mean, this is when they got ratings in the 20 millions every episode. There's only three stations. But that's what I was saying. We don't do that. Like, we have, look, I'm not trying to downplay. I know we have a very enviable place in it. But I wouldn't say, I wouldn't even say, like, it's even, I mean, the whole show is just about us being ourselves. It's not even like, what do you sound?

The best Brian Quinn you could be? Sure. You know, yes. So I don't know. I don't know. At least you have something to hang your hat on. Oh, yeah. Us three, where we'd be searching fucking from now till Doomsday to find what we could be cut nines at.

So you're on the best podcast of all time. That's true. I don't know. about that. I feel like I've got fucking what's it called podcasting block instead of fucking writer's block. Yeah? Yeah. Pock block? We've been doing pretty good lately.

I've been on the patron side of things. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. You know, no ideas at all for months on end. Yeah. I've been in a fog creatively. Oh, I don't like to hear that.

I mean, it's fucking, how many years has it been? How many years has it been? Like, what new fucking spin can you put on fucking... You always find stuff, though. It's eventually the tube and the toothpaste doesn't come out of the tube, no matter how far you squeeze it. So you want to, so that, isn't that a sign to wrap it up? Do you want to, is that you're looking to wrap it up?

I can't. I have, I have exorbitant bills that I have to say. Oh, yeah. Oh, oh. I've actually had to take on, I mean, I wasn't even going to bring this up ever, but I've actually had to take on a second job. That's really what I've been doing, focusing for the longest time lately. What's the second zone?

I've been door dashing. That can't be true. What? No, I swear to God. That can't be true. Is that true again, I didn't tell him. I have exorbitant bills that came up, and I like that good bills, though, not like where I'm like, oh, my God, like good things, but expensive things.

How much money could you be making on DoorDash that? I'm trying to get like a thousand a month. Wait a second. This is why don't want to talk about it because it's... It's hard to believe you, though, because you do troll people all the time. I just can't see you doing it. I wasn't good at first. I was horrible.

For a guy who doesn't like to drive. It doesn't like the smell of food. Oh, yeah. That's one of the bad things. It's so bad the smell. I mean, so $1,000 a month, I feel like you can make up that. different somehow.

How? I told you right now. We're like, it's, it's like you said, it's, it's this many years in. The,

the fuck of world is in, is in shit shape. People don't have disposable income. So, yeah, if the numbers, descriptions go down. Right.

It's understandable. Like, you know, the gas is fucking through the roof. Oh, yeah. So, I get it. But why don't you do cons?

Like, it would, I, I did. I actually. I reached out to Ming and I was like, hey, you think that lady? What was her name, Juliet? Julia.

Julia, do you think she would book me something? He goes, yeah, I'll see. Never heard anything. Yeah, he's been getting me into cons for the past four years. I've never gone to any of them. Yeah. But he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll talk to this one. Yeah, but.

Read off some of those stats, bro. Look at that fucking, I take it seriously, though. I'm a platinum fucking driver. 100% completion rate, 71% acceptance rate. What is that? Yeah, that's got to get back. I don't know. Sometimes something will come in.

Sometimes I'm like, I can't do that. Customer rating 5.0. 113 deliveries in the last 30 days. 113 deliveries? Quality rate 100%. On time rate, 91%. Yeah, that's because I drive too slow. My wife says.

I either take my daughter. Plus, it's great, though, because I get to take Teddy too every time. Okay. So it really works out because I'm utilizing the time and I get to bring the dog with me. Right. So how does it work? You're in your living room. Yeah.

and your phone goes off and somebody's like, I want fries. You can't do it like that. No. No. That doesn't work. So you have to join up. Yeah. And I was looking forward to really say like so, like I said, a lot of big bills coming up.

And we were looking for a way to try to make some extra cash on the side. And I was like, I can't quite a fucking real job. I'm not saying this is not a real job. It's fucking hard. Yeah. I don't want to fucking, like, I'm. do, like, it's, it's not as easy as it sounds. You get assholes who don't tip sometimes, that kind of shit, too.

Oh, sometimes, yeah. Yeah. And if you don't accept them, though, then your rating goes down and then you fucking can't get other things. It's a loan. But anyway, so I was like, well, if I go get a real job, yeah, who's going to watch the dog? Because my wife's working. My daughter is working. My other daughter doesn't live at home.

So I'm like, Teddy will be home all alone. So I was like, I'll just do this and I'll bring Teddy with me. And I bring him every run I'm ever on. He's there. That's nice. It's nice. but I found out I can't do it by myself I gotta take my daughter or my wife

because although I can't I can't see the fucking signs I can't see like the phone talks sometimes it doesn't sometimes it doesn't talk sometimes it does sometimes I get there and I don't even know where to fuck I'm at it's fucking crazy there's been some

I've wanted to do like a show about it too maybe where I bring a different person with me every night like taxi cab confessions yeah that's pretty funny because I've had some fucking crazy Not crazy, but some humorous run-ins. We've been in, I had to go to Aldi and buy like 30 fucking items. And maybe 10 of them I knew what they were.

Have you ever heard of Scrapple? Yeah. You've heard of scrap. Tell me what Scrapple is. It's disgusting. It is Philadelphia slash Pennsylvania's answer to a breakfast meet. It is brains and fucking beaks and. I don't think I don't.

It's not legally brains, not legally beaks. because you can't put those in food. But yeah, it is like fat and skin and stuff like that. So wait a second. So you're dooredashing, but you go to a regular grocery store? Sometimes. Well, sometimes you have to, if you accept it, you go shop for somebody. Oh, like an Instacart type thing?

I don't know what that is. But they say, like on my phone, it'll say I need to pick up these 16 items in Aldi. And you have 30 minutes to do it. So I could sweep. Yeah, exactly. So I tried to do this one by myself. and I actually had to stop me. I called my wife.

I was like, you got to come. I said, you got to come here. I said, I can't do it. I can't find any of the shit. Nobody will help me. Like, nobody in the store would help me fucking find it. And this is at night or during the day? It was in the middle of the afternoon.

Middle of the afternoon. And it was on a Sunday. So she came down. I was fucking like three hours late with the order because we couldn't find it. And it is so hard when you don't know. You realize how little you know where things are in a grocery store until you're forced to go try to find it. Scrapple It took us so long to find

Scrapple We're like Is it a fucking board game What the fuck is it? I would guess I would be about like the deli meats Deli meats? Yes

It was by Yeah It was by bacon And sausage And fucking I was like So bring get them around with you He knows what the scrapal is

It's not enough That he's with him all day I was with him all night too And him teddy And get them all in the front seat Yeah And then to fucking And then like the sad

thing is with somebody recognizes you. Has that happened? Oh, yeah. That's so fucking brutal. I recognized a door doucher one time when he came to my house and he just looked down and it was like a shit. And then you get a and then like if you recognize and they talk to you and then like 10 minutes later you get a you get a bigger tip out of pity.

Yeah, that's rough. Yeah. Like you were on, weren't you on TV? Yeah. That's what somebody said one time and I was like, well, not on TV anymore, bro. Oh, really? I said that. Now I can't complain about my job.

This sucks. Fucking hell, man. Was there something from the Cosby Show was bagging groceries in New Jersey? Oh, yeah. Theo. He was working at a... Oh, yeah. Trader Joe's.

You die from Cosby Show, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they tried to shame him. And then people like... Yeah, came after. I remember that. Yeah. He's like, fuck you.

The guy's working. You care what he's going. Wow. Yeah, I think you do one con a month, buddy. And you've made all this go away. I actually tried to hook up with a New Jersey. con because I'm like I don't want to travel. And so the lady got back to me and she was like,

what we can offer you is a free table and lunch. It's a very small con. And I understood it wasn't going to be big bucks. But I was like, well, maybe I can make like in one day what I'm making in a week doing this. And it wasn't the case though. We did pretty well with the 8x10s at some of the cons. That was a fucking huge con. Yeah, yeah.

This is a VFW and Tom's River. Because I don't feel like driving to a number. other state and everything. So I was like, I'll do, maybe I'll do some local ones. Right. Well, you got, and then I'm fucking splitting it away yet. It doesn't work. No, I don't, I don't know.

I don't know. He's on the clock between nine to five. Whatever you ask him to do, he's doing. You want me to see about, I mean, there's like Cherry Hill Haricon. There's like stuff like that. I know people like him. That's why I thought the Inlet Ming would work out, but he never got back to me. He said he would look into it.

That was weeks ago. He could, that's the thing. Like, if, if me, you and him went. to a con we could make more money than if it's just him, I'm sure. Yeah. You know? Remember these guys? They're back and looking for money.

The top three comic book men. To two cons, you've got to travel is the problem. Right. And that's why this feels like it's, like I was just talking about it. I was like, it's ideal. No one's lording over me. No one telling me what to do. I could bring the dog.

Yeah. I go with my daughter. You know, it's spending time with her. I go, and then when she's not around. I go with Deb. If you could train Teddy to bring the food, shoot. Have I thought about that? I was like, how fucking adorable is that fucking internet, fucking crazy?

If he brings the bag and puts it down here. And then my daughter was like, you cannot do that. Because some people do not want their dog being, I mean, their food handled by a dog. Who are these people? They don't. Wow. I'm surprised. I mean, I, I, I'm pretty even brought it up yet.

Oh, well, I mean, I. it's not like I said I knew what the reaction I saw your face I couldn't tell if you were telling the truth because I was running numbers in my head I'm like I know what this guy makes like yeah but like

they're like it's good things like they're positive things that have just come up that are like super expensive though and I'll tell you there's a certain aspect to it but I would have done a con with you I'll do something like that with you call up times from a right

now. I will. I don't a heartbeat. And it's not like Tom where I won't answer. I think that's

so sweet and so but you know I get you on the wrong day. You're like you're coming home for like today

and you're like we got to go to fuck a Buffalo. Never. Tomorrow. Let's go. I mean no plan cons like that.

No, I would be an honor to I would love to do something like that. Absolutely. What as a TSD as a guest?

the three guys from TSD is appearing at a Comic-Con? We can make money doing that. Yeah, but I'll go to a booth. I'll do that with you guys. 100%. You're like old times. All right.

Yeah. I'll talk to them too. I can even email Juliet and I'll be like, hey, here's a blast from the past. I know you didn't like me when I was drugged out the whole time. I would totally do that. But there's a level of

kind of like, I don't know if it's dopamine, but there's a level of like when you find it and you get the, and you start to see, it's almost like playing a video game. Oh, yeah. That's like, right? Yeah, that's what you do it.

And you get your, and you're growing your power, your energy. Boop, bo, bo, bo, bo, as you see it go up and you're like, it's like a weird kind of fulfillment. Chase in the Dragon. Right? And you're not, and you get that in a way where you don't have to think about it. Like, it's mindless. I don't have to come up with anything. I'm just like, oh, that's where I got to go.

That's what I got to do. Boom, boom, boom. And it feels like, and then you do it. And it's like, and it says complete it. And you see the money raise, like, go up. But you wouldn't do like a live, tell him Steve, Dave? Oh, it's easier to do this. But it's not as much money, though.

That's insane. You could, you, if we did four shows a year, all this goes away. I don't know if it goes away. I don't know. I think we could figure out something. I think, like, I don't think you're making it seem like, I'm like, oh, this is horrible. No, no, I'm not saying that. Like, it's actually not bad.

I never judge anybody what they got to do for money. I just, you, I don't know if you were being honest at first. I was like, I can never tell what you have the time. Yeah, because, like, you know, I'll just pull it back even more. It's like, you know, we're paying for school starting up soon. Yeah. And it's fucking crazy what it is. I don't want my daughter here.

I'm sure she doesn't listen to Tom Steve B, but I would never want her to think that. Yeah. You know, like, oh, my God. Like, you know, I don't want her to feel guilty for going to school. But like that's... Well, does she think you're doing it for fun, though? Like, why is she thinking you doing it? Oh, you know, just shits and giggles.

What? Why am I going to? Sorry, got a delivery to me. Come on, Teddy. I would be, I would never be, you're not Tom and Jimmy the Hair guy, bro. I'll answer you. We'll go, we'll go. I would be happy to do something like that, like 100%, man.

Okay. Yeah. We'll see if the con welcomes three podcasters. Fuck, why not? We'll do a show. Yeah, that's a welcome. Yeah, that's right. I can talk to, you know, Faton, it's not.

his company, but he's like invested in some company that books cons. Oh, really? Yeah. So he could just reach out to Fetone. He's asked me to do it over the years to do cons and stuff like that. I always say, I say no to everything. I'm like, I don't want to do anything else. He would be elated if I text them.

I was like, hey, you mean they tell him Steve Dave boys are thinking like getting into doing some cons? Where are we got to go now? That's the thing. I'm sure you could do things within driving distance. I'll drive you. And I'll fly. You know what I mean? I'll meet you in Maryland.

Like Pittsburgh, like Pittsburgh, we did great. Yeah, I would totally do that. Let's, let's, I mean, look, if you want to do the doorkass, do the door dash. No, I would do, I mean, believe me, I've looked into cons because I'm like, I probably make it quicker at a con. Sure. Yeah, I think so. Than this way, but, you know, I don't know. But like I said, I did look into it with Ming, but he didn't get back.

And I'm saying, I'm not bashing Ming, I'm just saying, I'm sure he's got his own fuck. Oh, you, son of a bitch. He's at his own gig to worry about it. Can't worry about. I design you a combatant. But it's so bizarre when you go, though, it's like, because you can be going to the biggest mansion in New Jersey, and the next one is to, like, trailer park.

Trailer park. It is shot, like, I would, 10 out of 10 times, I'd rather go to their trailer park. Really? People are so much nicer, and they're just, like, cooler. It is not a fucking stereotype to say that the fucking, the people who are rich are fucking. our fucking assholes.

Really? Yeah. Without a doubt. What do you mean? Like in what way? Yeah. They're cheaper? Snobby.

Oh, really? Because you have to, you don't have to deal with them only if you're delivering alcohol. Oh, okay. Otherwise, you don't deal with them. You got to get an ID from them. So, and they could be so fucking arrogant and fucking dismissive. And like, well, my, like, well, your ID's out of fucking, it's expired.

It's not going to work. I can't leave it. They're like, well, I paid for it. for it. You can't take it. And I'm like, well, I'm weighing in my head. I'm like, you know what? I'm just going to leave it because I'm not going to fucking argue. And I don't give a fuck. I don't take it then.

That's obviously 21. Yeah. Well, it's, yeah. It's a girl. It was a lady. And then her husband fucking sassies over. And he's like, what about my ID? Like, all fucking hostile.

And I'm like, well, you didn't place the order. Did you? I don't know. I don't know if it'll work. If it works, yeah. It did work, though. But they're fucking entitlement, though, that because it's, I, because it wouldn't

fucking clear it on the phone, which mean if it doesn't clear, I'm not going to get the fucking money for it. I wasn't just going to be like, oh, hey, guys, I know it's, yeah, it's expired. I don't, I don't, it's, it's all good. Yeah.

Wow. So, let me ask something, do they know, are you able to see the tip they give you before you deliver it? Yeah. So I fucking over-tip these guys all the time.

And I never get, I never get that paid back to me. Well, you can't, you can't contact them once it's done. I can't, like a thank you. you afterwards. No, that's not what I mean, but like, I'll order from a restaurant and then I'll be like,

all right, let me, let me fucking give this guy like 50% tip on this delivery or something like that. And he'll still drop fucking shit off at other people's houses before mine. It's not his fault. You are, you cannot deliver it to you first. The phone gives you a route that you must follow. Is that it? Because that annoys the shit.

Because let's say you're number three. Let's say you're number three. He doesn't even know it. God. Like after he does number one, okay, here's number two. go to number two. Okay, then he does number two. Okay, here's number three.

Go to number three. So it's worth paying that $1.99 for Express delivery because it bumps you up to the top? I don't even know that existed. On my end, I wouldn't even know that. Okay. Because I'm not placing orders. I was telling, like, I'm not paying two extra bucks to grub up or whatever. I'm like, fuck them.

And then it's like they get, it gets, and I over-tip and then they deliver it elsewhere. Yeah, it really doesn't, like, he's not like choosing or she or she is not choosing to do you the third. You're blown my mind because I just always assume it's a pothead smoke and we're driving around like bringing food. That seems to be a lot of the guys. Yeah, it's all I ever see. You know, razor sharp, sober. But all of us is going, where is it? Isn't it like going so slow people beeping at you?

Well, you're happy, unhappy, buddy. But if you want to get out of it, let's brainstorm ways to. Oh, I appreciate that. I appreciate that. There's definitely ways to make money that you wouldn't have to do that. that we could make it's not like i was like i don't like i hate this or dread this like said it was spending time yeah you know with elisha spending time with deb and the dog's always there and we play it sometimes like sometimes you're playing it it it works out perfectly you want to go

to stuarts and madden oh yeah and you open up the app and you're like and you deliver something that's right in maddwin it almost like they paid for your dinner to get there nice wow i mean this is the one driver you don't have to worry about eating your food Yeah, do you have, like, a cooler that you put the food in so you don't have to smell it? It's impossible not to smell it. Really? Yeah. Wow.

This, the Chipotle. It just smells like fucking feet. And you just got to, like, just fucking roll the window down and just be like, drive 100 miles an hour. But even though, but you want to, because it smells so bad. All right. I mean, we'll brainstorm off the air. We'll figure something out. Yeah, I never understood why.

We didn't do, like, even a show a year. or something like a live show a year. Uh, because I hate it. Sure. I hate that, I hate that being on, on stage and, and trying to, like, make someone laugh. Yeah, we did all right. I'm not saying, yeah, but, like, I know.

But shows we did. Yeah, but I hate that aspect, though, of, like, that, that feeling of, like, having to make someone laugh. Mm-hmm. That pressure. We got a gesture to do it. Yeah, I'll fart around. That'll be right.

It's over in an hour. All right, well, you're about to make some money right here. Caching. All right. Ready? There's two last deliveries you have to make. No, no. No?

I'm telling you. Like, it's, I know that I'm sure everybody listening to is like, can't wrap their head around it. But it's not, it's not, like, there's no dreading of doing it. I think people will be able to wrap their heads around it. Like, I mean, really. You had to pay for school. Yeah. What sort of fucking dickhead is going to be like, he's got to earn money.

this is the way he's doing it. We're a fucking asshole. No, no, I didn't say they're going to be out there. They're not. I'm not saying, I said wrap their head around it. I will not. No, even the Reddit people have to be like, find this admirable. I don't know.

We'll see. I don't know. We'll say, but I'm not really worried about that. It was more, I was reluctant to even mention it to anybody because I'm like, that, like I said, that pity tip comes in. You're just like, because my daughter is like, hey, that guy, you just, that you said, recognized you just gave you $15. And I was like, oh, oh, my God.

He thinks I need it. Yeah. I was like, oh, God. He thinks I'm on hard times. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. Oh, boy. There's been times when I walked in like, like in Red Bank and you can't get a signal. So you can't, you can't fucking tell who you're supposed to pick up for because you, once you get there,

that's how you know you're getting. That's the name you got to pick up. Yeah. So I've walked into places where I'm like, can I hook up? Can I get the Wi-Fi password? And they're like, no. I'm like, well, I need to pick up.

They're like, no, we don't give that out. Do they, does it seem like the, the restaurateurs don't really care for the DoorDash drivers? They do not like them. Yeah. They don't treat them like customers. They don't treat them like partners, which is basically what they are. Yeah. I think they make so little on the deliveries that they're sending out.

It's possible. That they resent the drivers, yeah. But there's an animosity. They just don't do it then. Yeah. I swear you could just sit at Chippole, for eight hours. and I think you can make great money. It's just coming in.

It's just like over and over and over and over and over. Chippolei could never say no to it. They're getting hundreds of orders an hour, it feels like. Wow, man. That's crazy. Tripoli, who knew? Who knew? Had people invite me into their home.

Oh, yeah. A sexy lady? Not too sexy. They're a little bit like card. But they're like, oh, do you need to use the bathroom? Do you want a cold lady? drink. Oh, yeah.

Older people? No, they're like in their 30s. Okay. I'll give you a hundred bucks to jerk off what's your mouth. I'll be right now.

We met the goal this week. What happens if you go to pick up Chipoli and it's MZ on Broad Street and Red Bank. It would just say Mike Z probably and it was on Red Bank I would send a leash in

I go to like I've got one at my my regular pizza that I go to every single day and I will not go in and get it because I'm like it'll change the fucking relationship forever if I go in there and I'm like doing that so I send Alicia in or I send Devin

Okay so you would just send someone to the stash if they ordered me Yeah I would send Alicia All right Or at least I mean I got a platinum fucking rating I gotta fucking keep up.

Okay, all right. Old razors, dulling too fast. You're irritating your neck, you. That's not fun. Me and you don't really shave that much. No. But I do shave a little bit. Shave my cheeks,

shave my neck a little bit. When I do. Had to shave my head. Yeah, get him to shave his head now. Are you going to keep up with it, or are you going to let it grow back in? It looks like it's growing back in. Yeah, well, just because I've been waiting

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All right. Now we got, oh, Q, I couldn't help it notice that you were gazing at my rump with lust earlier. It's a fucking great rump. I think it's because of these perfect genes. I hate when you sit down.

I know, I could tell you. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a second. Hold on. I think there's some on the channel. We're hawking denim? Thank God we have fucking moved up in a world. They sending us some denim? We're selling some dungarees.

Yeah, they're going to send you some jeans. Nice. They said, you guys got, you guys got good jeans. Well, I don't stand by that. Wait a second. Wait a second. That sounds like point pride to me. Fuck your khakis, they say.

The perfect jeans stretches. Oh, this fucking company has attitude. Yep. Yeah. It's reverse sexism. All the ladies are watching the guys walk by. Worned up. I know.

Look at the girls are getting all fucking turned down by. The guys for some reason are doing lunges. Because they can. Because they can in the stretch jeans.

That's why I never wore jeans because I can't do those lunges. That's why I always wear track pants so I can lunge in front of ladies. Now you be delivered fucking food to people. You lunge up their walk.

I wonder if they didn't add like this where it was five guys on a bench and girls walking buying jeans and guys were like, yows. Whoa, whoa, whoa, wow. I wonder if that would fly. I'm going to go ahead and say no.

I think we're in a place where guys can admire a woman. Oh, they can't. Especially if they're little lunges. They just can't do it and like with the eyes popping. Yeah, they do it secretly. Yeah, there's a lot of copy on here, man. There's a lot of copy. Perfect jeans thought I was going to talk about them for fucking 15 to 20 minutes.

I love that they made this commercial. I'm a big fan of this. Yeah, like it. that these girls are horn-dogging out over the guys. I love it. Yeah, go to the perfect gene.n. If you want to see the lunge guys. Yeah.

Let's see. Okay, what's your biggest frustration with jeans? Do they usually feel like they're designed for someone else's body and mind? Yeah. If so, are you constantly pulling them up or doing that awkward mid-conversation readjustment that everyone pretends not to notice? Do you usually have to choose between jeans that fit your waist or your thighs? Yes. Oh, is that a problem?

You got those big thighs, don't you? And the calves, yeah. I've seen your calves lately. No. They are fucking looking a little anemic. Really? Yeah, that's not your fall. It's your health, but you really got to get your work on that, get them gym membership, man.

I've been looking at that, yeah. Yeah, you've noticed the calves looking a little... Looking meek. Yeah. It was upsetting, like, when I was first started, like, when I switched over to shorts when I was doing physical therapy, just like I kind of almost a little embarrassed. And you looked in the mirror, like you looked at your... Well, my one exercise I did. They're still, you look, they're not nothing to sneeze at.

They're still big, but they used to be fucking popping. You used to look like Arnold had fucking put his calves into yours. I was looking at Planet Fitness, but, you know, they have like an annual fee. Now, why do you only focus on the calves? How come the arms and the fucking the neck? How come you let them, you neglect them and only do calves? I think I was happy with the thickness of my neck. I mean, it took him eight hours to get into it.

I thought that's why it broke, though, because you weren't keeping it strong. I thought that's why things went south and you had to get the operation because you didn't have a strong neck. No. That's not true? I had a weak neck and that's not you're going to keep his head up anymore. Or you're fucking too busy fucking lying on it. You know, you keep hearing about these celebrities that are starting only fans pages and making millions of dollars a week. What if,

Yeah, what if you started An only fans? What on earth would I push? Feet. Not mine. No. There are people

like all kinds of feet, dude. There are all kinds of people out there. Well, do you don't have to do sex on only fans? No, no.

No, they don't have fans for anything. Look, I've already Well, cameo. Why don't you do cameo? I need this too. Now you can fucking join up

and join my only fans. I disagree. I think people would be jazz to join up for your only fans. There's no way I'm doing that. Walk clean in the pool. You and Teddy watching TV I saw you and Teddy curled up on the couch

the other day and I think that picture would sell I know that was adorable I saw you staring at us But you could do cameo That's what I say Happy birthday Yeah I think I think it'd be as anemic as fucking Gettom's new

Fucking fangled calves In response Camio's kind of dead at this point I think cameo is kind of dead at this Really? I think that boat has sailed Oh, wow. But perfect jeans.

Perfect jeans. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Do they actually feel as comfortable as sweatpants, but still iconic and stylish? Walt will tell you, once he tries them on. Did you immediately notice any differences compared to any other genes? Yes. And as a matter of fact, I did.

Any pain points ordering jeans? Fit returns quality? No. They have black jeans? They got black jeans. I can't wait. That's what I want black jeans. They got athletic fit, slim cut, slim thick fit.

Even the boot cut. Slim fit. I like boot cut. You know, thick, thick, fit. I do not want skinny jeans, though. You want the thick, thick fit? I got a, I got a rep to fucking. Get you the bandit?

I can't be walking on. The bandit, the black ones? Yeah, that's why. I'm the bandit. I'm going to get you some bandits. Teddy and the bandit. Mm-hmm. All right, let's see.

Remember when acid washed black jeans were all the rage in the 90s? Oh, the rage, yeah. And white jeans, too, for those stretch, yeah. Not as, not as, that window was very short. It was brief, yeah. Yeah. Picture you delivered. The black jeans were like that.

The black cheese were like a bag like a fucking bowling ball and ball, lands perfectly. Let's see, how do I feel wearing them? When I first checked myself in the mirror, did I think, holy shit, I look good. Yeah. I did as a matter of fact. Mary Beth said it as well. Yeah, she was like, holy shit, you look good. Sage said the same thing.

I was like, thank you, everybody. Oh, shit, that does. I instantly, did I feel instantly put together without even trying or thinking about it? And did I look good in them? Yes, I did. Has anyone complimented you how we look at it? as Murray Beth did. And safe.

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That's TESD 15 for 15% off at the perfect gene and dot NYC. All right. One more. This is an easy one. Tell me, I've got to, like, book us, like, 10 commercials next episode. Yeah, like, Waltzick of fucking delivering shit. You fucking better move your ass on these fucking ads. Let's do an all ad episode.

That would be cool. That would be cool. That would be fun. That would actually be pretty fun to do. That would be pretty fun. You're right. Let's see. Guys, if your lady or your fella,

very diverse at Blue Choo. Or that person that sends you an eggplant emoji at 2 a.m. is ready for better sex and you should be, too. And that's where Blue Choo comes in. They've been on a mission for years. That's one, you'd ignore it 2 a.m. Yeah, how late do you have to deliver?

Like, what's the... Oh, I won't go... Because then they start bringing me out to the fucking badlands, and I'm like, no, thank you. If you get any for the naval base, turn it down. When I delivered for Dominoes,

they were the cheapest fucking cunts ever. They would not give you a tip, no matter how many times you go out there, everybody was cheap. I don't know. I'm not going to disparage anybody in this climate with how much they tip or don't tip

it's it's it is what it is you know it's fucking it's uh my feeling is if you can't tip then don't fucking order

huh if you can't tip then don't fucking order that's my feeling on it I agree I think they I think they have to tip though or else no one's gonna pick up the order though oh people just reject it yeah

okay yeah I thought some people didn't tip can they take it back I mean there's some I've turned I mean I've turned down two dollars like a two dollar fee for two bucks I'm like, I'm not doing that. It's not even worth it.

Do people tipping cash ever or it's all to that? They say they're going to, and this pissed my daughter off one time. They say tip that door, and we got there, and it was a pretty fucking rough house. And I was thinking to myself, as I'm doing it, she's in the car. I'm like, I could see into their house, and I'm like, I'm not taking this tip. They need it more than I do. I am not taking this tip. But then they didn't answer the door, so they wouldn't come.

to the door and get the food. So then we have my daughter calls. There's a thing you have to call because you need a pin number from this person. Okay. Sometimes you need a pin number because I guess they've reported that they didn't get their food. They would burn too many times. Yeah. So then the driver has to get a pin number to put in. And they answered and they said that they were calling for another person that that was their mother. And the mother can't get to the, get to the door. So just leave it. And she gave us the pin. But my daughter was like, that was just a scam. That was a scam to deliver it for $2 and say they'll give you a tip because they didn't want to give the tip. Right.

Because she's done it more, she's done it more than I have. She trained me. She said, she did say I wasn't built for it. Yeah, she said, you panicked too much, she says. Was there like a boot camp? Yeah. She's just screamed at you blowing a whistle. Fireworks going off.

She got testy at times and I'd be like. What's her rating? She was platinum too, but you can't keep it because if you don't deliver a certain amount of orders, like if you don't do it, like every day. it changes like your 30 day window changes every day. Right. So if that goes down under a certain amount, then you're not platinum anymore. Got you.

And she kind of got off like, she kind of got like, you know, I don't care if I got platinum once, I don't care anymore. But I was like, I want to keep it. I'm going to tell you, like when I used to Uber, you know, that you're able to give the driver's ratings and they give you ratings. Always tipped well, was never a pain in the ass. I never fucking threw open the car or anything. And then one day I saw that my rating had dipped.

down to 4.8, and I was upset by that. I was like, which of these fucking cock suckers gave me a fucking bad rating? Oh, yeah. I want to know. I want to know and ask them why. I was like, uh, why. My rating is so high because nobody gives your rating, really. Only the people

that gave me a rating are the people who knew me. Oh, really? That's why I got a five-point rating because they, but I know a guy that knew me. He was so cool. So I walked into Atlantic Highlands. You know that big building? There's only one big building. It's almost like a skyrocket.

Yeah, yeah. I know that one. Yeah. I walked into there and there was no numbers on the doors, so I couldn't tell which apartment it was. So I thought that maybe the doors led to a hallway to where you would get to the real apartments. Yeah. So I went to open the door and it was unlocked, but it wasn't a hallway. It was some guy's fucking apartment as I walked into it, like unannounced. And he fucking was initially pretty up.

upset as he would be, but then he recognized me, and he was like, holy shit. He goes, oh, I know, comics, comics. You do comics show, right? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, check out my collection. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. And he was the guy was delivering to, thankfully. And, you know, it could have went south to, like, go walking out on someone's house like that. Yeah, he was cool, though. And he gave me a high rating no afterwards. But those high ratings are, like I said, nobody, nobody leaves a review because it's like, you got the food? It's hot. Yeah, no one's going to go back in and rate you.

You know, because, I mean, what's the point? Right. Yeah, what do you care? Yeah. If you're ordering it and nothing went wrong, you're not going to be like a give a five-star rating. The only time you're going to be a rating is when something went wrong. Right. And as you, again, I'm told you, I'm 100%.

Yes. Whatever you do, don't take a picture of a half-nude guy. Did you hear that door-dash story with the girl? Yes. Yeah, I deleted that because I did that once. Oh, did you? No, I'm like, yeah. Yeah, I saw that.

She took a picture of my picture of my. on his couch. Yeah, he was like, his pants were pulled down. He's still in his underwear, but his pants were pulled down. And she's like, that sexual assault took a picture. And then now she's, she's being indicted. Yeah, no, yeah, I don't take you, you actually, you can't even upload a picture like that, though. So I don't know if that was some, like, some fake news going on there. I don't think so. I mean, I saw, I saw the aftermath. She was like in. Maybe she took a picture of it, but she could not upload that probably to the app. Why not? She took it with, no, not on the app. I think she took with her regular phone. All right. I thought she, that was the picture. She

uploaded as like here's proof of my delivery. A fucking cock, a flaccid on a couch. It's not going to get you in your fucking money. Speaking of cocks. Oh. And that aren't flaccid, ever. Never. Never.

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Visit Blu.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Bluchu for sponsoring the podcast. A lot of sponsors today. All right. Wait a second. I don't think we talked about one thing I wrote down, which is, oh, no, Q not returning Tom's text. That's right. What's the important thing?

Did you guys, either of you guys watch The Crash? Netflix? Is this about a teenage girl who killed her boyfriend or something? Killed her boyfriend, another guy? I saw the trailer for it and I was like, that was fucked. Yeah, it's crazy. Is it a documentary or a biopic? Documentary.

Yeah, it's about an hour and a half. Like, I thought I knew the whole story because I had watched it like, you know, in some short form on some other channel. But this documentary was like, holy shit, this chick is fucked up. She just drove into a house or something? To a building, yeah, some kind of building at like 94 miles an hour, 100 miles an hour or something like that. I thought I had a bad one.

I had girls hitting me with doors and shit like that when I was in the... Yeah, like they did this forensic analysis of the car and everything, and they were like, yeah, she'd like, at no point did she touch the brakes? At no point that she slowed down. And they said that it looked like they were somebody who was trying to put it in neutral. Like they were fucking with the gear shift. How they can tell all this stuff, I don't know, I guess, the computer. Yeah, the car is almost like a black box now in some of these new cars. Yeah.

I think I saw the actual, like the post-accident thing on like one of those, um, body cam shows or body cam shows right yeah yeah the car's fucked it's like you can't believe somebody they had a light flight somebody out of it i remember yeah two two guys died and the girl survived of course because the driver the crazy driver always fucking survives but i would recommend that people ask me for recommendations on documentaries i would say yeah uh memorial day how'd you how'd you do uh what'd you do over memorial day q anything it was fucking like 40 degrees in raining i sat in sudden trying not not to hang myself.

We went to see the Great Throdeanie, as mentioned. Is it Memorial Day a big one for you to usually get out and barbecue and have people over? Yeah. I don't know. I don't have people over all the time, but I like being out there and like doing it. I have one of my outdoor cats is, I think, dead now. So I spent the weekend trying to catch him. I caught another cat that needed to get catch.

So that cat's in the vet right now. but I think one of my favorite outdoor guy is dead Is that the one was the abscess? Yeah Yeah I saw him the next day And he was like walking like unsteady And I tried to catch him

But he disappeared and he hasn't been back And usually he's there twice a day at my house So I'm a little upset So that was my more I was really kind of like a bumer Because Have you heard the phrase Hirting Cats

Yes Is it is catching a cat Kind of like hurting a cat It's like very difficult to do It's not It's because they trust me me because they see me every day and I feed them every day. So it usually takes a day or two.

Sometimes they see the traps, they get nervous. And then, but these fuckers are all spoiled. My outdoor cats are spoiled. So what I did is I upgraded to raw fish, like sardines. And they went fucking nuts for it.

And I caught one right away. But unfortunately, I think I lost not. Not. It's a bummer. There's a bummer. He's been in that neighborhood since I got there. Are you the crazy cat guy in your neighborhood? There are a few of us.

Oh, a couple. But there's no doubt. I have cats that just live on my property now. They don't go anywhere else because they know how good they have it. But, yeah, I lost one of my guys, I think. I was all bummed out because of that. I was out in the rain trying to, I know where he went. I was, it was annoying, but he's a bummer.

Anyway, sorry. I don't see many cats around where I live. There was one that used to come around a couple years ago, but we don't have, yeah, like feral cats or anything like that. Well, do you feed them or no? No. That's the thing. They know where to.

I figure that raccoons and shit would probably eat it all, because we do have raccoons. We got foxes. We got deer. And raccoons coming in night and they finish up with the cats haven't eaten during the day. I've seen more lizards around this plaza than I've seen stray cats. Yeah. Wow. It's a Mediterranean house gecko.

Now, it has to be that because somebody brought one here to the plaza and it got out. Or two, maybe. I think someone told me there was a pet store that used to be here. Oh, so yes, that's right. Yeah, so I think they escaped and because we talked about it. Someone went to the exotic animal place because I should have a picture. She's like, oh, yeah, it's a Mediterranean house gecko. How the fuck do they survive the winters here?

I think they like they come inside like they're in like the roof. Oh, wow. Wow. Yeah. You guys went to an exotic animal place? Yeah. Oh, yeah. For a Sunday drive.

Oh, wow. I went to a reptile show recently. How was that? It was better than I thought it was going to be. I didn't know you're into reptiles. I'm not. But Sage and Marybeth are very into reptiles. Like Sage loves snakes.

But they had like, I was like, it's going to be like this tiny little show. It was at the VFW in Port Mammoth. So I'm like, okay, it'll be tiny. That is very tiny, right? That's a very tiny VFW. It was wall to wall. Like, as many fucking people as they could fit in with their lizards and their snakes and their bugs and their, I don't. I mean, it was crazy.

They had a lizard's for like $6,500. Like, it wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't, oh, they were selling a shit. They were selling it. Yeah, I thought it was just going to, that's what I thought. It was going to be like an exhibit where you could go and you could look at them. And people like, hey, I'm so proud of my bow constrictor. Yeah, come look at it. Come look at it.

Come look at it. So now he's got a bow constrictor. Yeah. But no, they had all kinds, all kinds of snakes and lizzeries and reptiles. Nah. No, because it's, it's, Marybetheth wants a bearded dragon. Okay. I guess they're real friendly or something.

Yeah. Yeah. I had an ex-o-ed one. But I'm like, you just got a cat. You got a dog. Now she's like fishing for another dog. How big do these things get? Not too big, I don't think, right?

Can you call a dragon picture up there? And it probably has a very strict diet it has to adhere to, right? I imagine. Yeah, probably crickets and shit. So you have to go into the pet store every week to get crickets. You go over to the pet smart. Yeah, get them. There he is.

Yeah, that's what they're holding. 18 to 24 inches in length, snout to tail. but what do you do with a beard and I look I love him like I love any animal but but as a pet what is it I think it just hangs out with you just sits there oh look this will say they will snuggle and fall asleep on you yeah while they are reptiles lack the emotional capacity for mammalian affection they enjoy your body I've been accused of that yeah oh that's cool yeah yeah Yeah, so it was way cooler than I thought it was going to be. Like, I actually, like, I don't really feel like going to this, but they wanted to go.

So I was like, fuck it, I'll take them. And once I was there, I was like, all right, it's not that bad. It's like I kind of was getting into reptiles a little bit. Rite tries reptiles? Yeah, maybe. Rite tries a bearded dragon. Yeah. How long do they live?

Take them out, get them? See if this thing's going to. So those geckos that are at the airport plaza. They have to be the most inbred colony of lizards that have ever walked the planet, right? I'm not sure exactly how long they live, so, yeah, but probably. Because that pet store has been gone for a long time. I have no recollection of it. It feels like if there's any plaza that would accept an inbred fucking colony of misfits, it's this one.

Like, no one calls out an exterminator. just like, oh, that's weird. There's lizards, and people are just like, oh, well. There used to be a pet store here. I've only ever seen them at night by the back door. So there's not that many people around here at that time of night to see them. And I've only seen them like two or three times. You told me every time you see him, you told me, yeah.

Because like the first time you think you're like, you think no one believes you, right? Yeah, yes. It was the first time I did. But then I managed to get a photo of one. And then I was like, okay, now I got the picture. I gave you the rent check, right? Yeah. Okay.

It's right here. Let me see. I wanted to bring this up to Q, but it's on Instagram, so I have to use my phone. The gram. The gram I got to use, yeah. This comes up every once in a while. I believe Staten Island Borough Council votes 6 to 0 to secede from New York City. Yeah, I know.

Again. They said they've been trying to do this since 1894. Yeah. It's just never going to. happen. Yeah, I think they depend too much on you guys for like tax revenue and uh, well, Stanis just gets fucked by the city constantly. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. It's true. But like they're saying Staten Islanders don't want to live under a mom donnie's regime. Honestly, has anything changed? I forget he's the mayor. He hasn't really done anything that's like like, like, yet.

I don't know. De Blasio, I fucking hated. I hated living under him as the mayor. I hated it. I thought everything he did was like a fucking blunder and a misplay. I thought that at times that guy hated New York City. I wouldn't doubt it. Yeah, Tobasio, but I have not seen that yet from Monday. But I also don't read, you know, I'm also not hip to the news.

But I don't think he likes Stan Allen very much. Yeah. I don't like him. I know that much. I think it was the only borough that didn't get like that free daycare that like every other borough got. Oh, really? Yeah, we always get fucked. Stan Allen always gets fucked.

Yeah. I think they were pissed about, like, the immigrants coming in and, like, taking over, like, schools and, like, the public housing. Well, the whole city got over, yeah. They went too far with it. And it was like, it was just, like, I had never seen a homeless person on Highland Boulevard on Staten Island my entire life. And then, like, you know, in the middle of all that stuff, suddenly they were, like, groups of four or five guys hanging out on street corners. But I haven't seen it. Like, I think they kind of, they kind of cleaned it up.

Plus, they probably came to Staten Island. and was like, what fuck are we? Everybody hates us, and it takes an hour to get anywhere. They probably went somewhere else. Yeah, they weren't psyched to be there either.

Yeah. Do you want to give a recommendation? I know you saw Amanda. I saw Amanda. I seem to have enjoyed them more than most people. Yeah, it seems like a lot of people are so bitter and almost like a bad relationship with Star Wars

that they can't accept maybe something new could come out. and they don't have preconceived notions where they're immediately hated like right out of the gate. Yeah. I feel that way. Yeah. I think,

I don't watch that Star Wars stuff anymore. But. Well, they earned it. I mean, it's not like Star Wars didn't earn it. I mean,

you know. But it wasn't bad. It wasn't good. It was just kind of like, it's a popcorn movie. If you got nothing to do, I would say it's like an adventure movie. It opens,

I think the opening sequence that you mentioned with the ad ads is cool. Yeah, the adats are cool. I get what people, because I know people who hate it. Yeah.

And they hate it's, They're preconditioned to hate Star Wars. Is this theatrical? They're like a battered wife syndrome with Star Wars. Like, it's going to be woke. It's going to be fucking woke. And it turned. That would be my fear.

That would be my fear. I'd like, calm down Sunday. Jesus, take a chill bill. They fucked up that Obi-Wan show so hard. I don't know. I wouldn't be surprised if nobody trusted them again. But I went and I had fun. I didn't realize people hated it until like came out

was like, oh, it was fun. And people were like, what? Talk of Pumpus? And I'm like, yeah, we all been complaining about CGI for decades now. And these guys do it practically. And you guys are going to complaining? Like, I'm like, when are they going to win? When will they win?

And like, for the you guys who are like, I don't want any messages. No messages. Not a same. They didn't even beat the fall of sun drumming this. They're like, they just get along. All right, you don't want a message? All right, it's just fucking one big, long fight scene. Yes.

Mendo just beats ass from fucking minute one to the end. Then I'm in. Give me Johnwick. Star Wars. That's what I want. Yeah. Maybe that's why I liked it. I don't learn anything. I wasn't talked down to the entire time. I thought the score was excellent. Fucking fantastic score. Who did the score?

Same guy who did the TV show. His name's like Germain Lusseter. Looked it up. I could, yeah, recommend getting the score. I thought it was excellent. I've never seen, like, techno and Star Wars before, but it really reminded me a little John Carpenter-esque at times. Yeah, the sense and all that stuff. Ludwig Gorgh I wasn't that far off

Yeah it was pretty dope Man if your name is Ludwig You just know you're going to be a composer right? Yeah Unless he changed it If you're like if you're a mom or dad And you name your kid Ludwig You know you're setting them up

He's got to have to be a position They're not going to be a station attendant I will say this I was talking to my friend just yesterday He came by the set when we were shooting He came from the movie and he's like, I fucking, oh, I hated it. And I started talking to him and like, well, what about this, this and this?

And then in the end, I go, let me ask you something. If it was three episodes of the TV show, would you have liked those episodes? And he goes, like, yeah. He goes, I think they would have been good episodes. I was like, all right, so there's your issue. But then he was like, yeah, but a ticket's 20 bucks. The popcorn's fucking 40, you know, everything. He goes, by the time I was spending 80, 100 bucks on a movie, it better be fucking good.

Like, it doesn't, I don't want to be just a TV show on the big screen, whereas I was a little bit like, I don't know, it's just fun. I just had fun. Yeah, I agree with you. That's why I felt about the deadwood movie, you know, the final deadwood movie. I was like it just feels like a long episode, not a movie, you know. I don't know what I'm going to eventually, yeah, whatever. I did see people complaining, you know, it's like, well, Mando and Grogu, is that how you say? Yeah, Grogo.

They're in the same spot at the end of the movie that they were at the beginning of the movie. There was no growth. And I'm like, fucking man up. Like, fucking put a stuff up your pussy. You wanted to see the fucking helmet and guy grow. See fucking Growgoo fucking grow. Yeah, I know. This is what you read somewhere?

Yeah, people were just bitching that Grogu and Mando don't have any growth in the movie. Like they... What is their arc? Fuck off. Tell him, Steve.