Tell Em Steve-Dave - #679: Icons of Podcasting

Episode Date: June 7, 2026

Sage’s senior prom, James Charles, Teddy’s grudge, Q goes rustic, Son of Lurch, Walt runs afoul of a cashier and a doordash customer. raycon.com/tesd factormeals.com/tesd50off ridge.com/TESD bluechew.com Promo code TESD https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/tesd

Touch my sister. She's virgin, you know. She's cherry. The guy behind the counter, I love this guy. Sweetest postman ever. I would take a bullet for this guy. Hey, Larry, I'm also going to put a fucking can of coconut. So when you're fucking balls dropped,

you can have a real fucking can of soda, you cock sucker. Tell him, Steve, Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him, Steve, Dave. I sit here amongst some hoodlums. Oh, boy. BQ. Yes. And Walt.

Hello. And get him. How you stanking? Who thinks the biggest hootlam out of us all? Get him. Is it get him? I think he flaunts. He flaunts the law.

Flaughts the law. Hoodleum? I guess like somebody who's like not maybe aligned with society's rules. An outsider. Yeah. I thought it was like somebody who was like prone to commit crimes and cause problems. Yeah, I would agree with that. Yeah, I don't know if it's him.

No. I don't think he has the mobility to commit any crime or cause any rabble-rousing. He's just kind of, you know, counting it down the clock, I think. That's my secret. I plan the slow getaway. Well, you mentioned he just turned 48. I wasn't aware of this. What day is your birthday? Oh, it was the second. Oh, the second. I didn't know that. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy belated birthday. Yeah, we put that on my calendar. You guys got him a gift certificate to the buffet.

The buffet he goes to. Did we? Yeah, he used it already. He didn't even thank us. He didn't even thank us. I put it was from me, but I put it on the company card. I was like, those two don't even fucking know it's his birthday. Yeah, you're right. You're right. All right, they got it in the calendar.

I'll never forget again. Thank you. Well, forget, it's not the right word. I wasn't aware to begin with. I have a rare hard out today. Yes. As I say, an industry speak, you, hard out. Sage's prom today, her senior prom.

Who's your date? Her buddy, Mary. Mary. Yeah. I think she was holding out for James Charles, this guy, this influencer guy. No, it's a different guy. He's still in the picture? No, I think she forgot all about Prince James.

Now it's James Charles, this extremely feminine, effeminate gay makeup influencer. She's been on his... For a long time now. Over a year. Yeah, I remember you showing us for a while. Yeah, because she got nice past Christmas, but the Christmas before.

Like, I mean, that was years ago. Like, isn't he going to age out for all these tweens who are going to be like, well, that's creepy, he's... Right, he's 20-something. Well, she's 20 now, too, though. There he is. Yeah, that's the guy that she's attracted to. What the fuck?

I taught you nothing. You know, I ain't 19 million followers, man. Yeah. Start putting some makeup on, boys. Oh, he's 27. Yeah, that's too old for her. Yeah, for sure. Could he be, like, Gettom's age and, like, still doing this?

Or is that, like, get to the point where it's like, come on, hang it up, James? Uh, yeah, I think they all age out, right? I wish my skin looked that good. It does. It doesn't look. It looks very James-like. Well, he's a guy. So he is along a runway than, say, a girl, like a woman is his age, you know what I mean?

Yeah. Because they'll be like, women are aging now, whereas this guy can, like, change it up in his mid-30s, become a cowboy or something like that. You don't see that guy? No. He's true grit now, man. He's giving up male privilege, you're saying. Here is blend, but don't blend in. There you go.

19 million followers. 19 million. What's that like? Probably the same as having 20. Just ignoring them all anyway. Wow. Flew back to Coachella to recreate my look. Yeah, it's like, I mean, he got in trouble recently because... Because his father saw his Instagram.

Yeah. You're grounded. No, he commented on when Spirit Airlines went out of business, one of the employees set up a go-fund me. And he was like, what, what's with this go-fund me? me shit. He's like, you got, you lost your job. He's like, you go get another job. Oof. He's no cowboy. I think John Wayne walked like that.

Oh, so he refers himself as a queen? A queen of Coachella, yeah. All right. Well, good on him. But did she make, and you didn't try to use your, I'll be over here. Good on him. Your influence. as a media personality to try to get the date?

Oh, somebody with 20 million followers, and I'm like, we can't even get half the time, we can't even get people to do bright tries. I'm going to get James Charles to show up here. I mean, they do weird stuff, though, like influencers, you know, they will do weird stuff sometimes, but I don't know. I think that was a real,

that would have been a real shot in the dark trying to... You never know. Take the shot, man. Every shot you don't take is one that is never going to score. He's in need. did some good PR. It is, yeah. A Down syndrome date is just by be

just the thing. Get him back up to 20 million. That's in the, that fucking handbook. Yeah. I got that handbook. I keep Sage on standby in case. It was last year when I said to,

to Sage, I was like, do you want P. Q to bring you? And she goes like, he's not my type. She goes. I aged out.

I would have went with her. That would have been great. Yeah. That would have been great. I took her mom through the prom. Yeah, that's true. Oh, yeah. Which is now 20-something years later?

No, it's because it would have been 20 years later. It was 88. You took her. She would have been 40 years, right? Yeah, 40 years later. Wow. Frank took her because of the prom last year, right? Frank drove her to the prom.

Yeah, he drove her in the DeLorean. He's not driving her this year? No, this year she wanted to take a limo with her friends. Oh. Frank's gone. Frank's out. I'm sure he's fucking. He's upset about it.

He's devastated. Not that the trailer to fucking Delorian. I can't cart it all the way down the jersey. But he's a kind of guy that if I was like, dude, you want to do it? He would do it in a heartbeat. Sweet guy. He's a great guy, yeah. I would like to see Frank take a swing at this guy's type of lifestyle. I would like see Frank become a makeup influencer.

Could you do a special bride tries episode where Frank tries to be a makeup influencer? I don't see why not, unless he doesn't want to do it. put him in a thong. He's very... Oh, he's... Oh, that's right. Yeah, he did want to... He was kind of touchy about some jokes made that kind of, he was like, I can't say that joke.

Okay. I understand that. Yeah. All right. This is going back. I think maybe his stick... I think that stick has been removed from his ass, but... But early on, I remember that.

I kind of was like, really? This is the line? Like, it was like a really weird joke that, like, me and... and him had a baby together. Oh, really? As the count, as the baron, and he was like this Frankenstein creature, and we created a baby. I remember having that. I turned him into a woman, a female Frankenstein, just so he could have my baby.

And he was like, I can't do that. I was like, what do you mean you can't do that? He goes, oh, I got, I can't, I can't. That's implying that we had sex then. I was like, it's not. I go, I get it on the operating table. I said, it doesn't mean I could have, like, you're going way too deep on the joke. Yeah. If you see two characters in a movie having sex, you're not like, oh, my God, they really had sex.

I can't believe they did it. Yeah. So, yeah, getting frank in some... There was something also about a tub, wasn't there? I remember, like, you wanted them to get in a tub for some reason. I don't remember that. Yeah, that was a long time ago, yeah. No, that was you in a tub, I think. That was me?

Yeah. I would have done it. In your baths up in your house, yeah. Oh, yeah, I would have done it. No, it was get them in Sunday in your... Oh, get them in Sunday. But they would have had swim trunks on. Right.

Oh, I remember that, yeah. Going to get you nice and clean, chef. Nice and clean. Oh, I was wondering this about Teddy. Teddy question. Is there anyone in particular that he dislikes? Me? I don't think he dislikes Gettam, but I don't think he has any affection for Gettam.

And that was because within the first 10 minutes of them meeting, he sternly told him no about something. Right. And I think Keddy has now been, what's it, irrevocably? Irrevocably. Holding it against get him ever said. He doesn't want to be told no, Teddy?

And he does not. Yeah. So when Gettam told him no, he was like, all right, you're dead to me. Teddy. Hey, it's not unlike you. It's not unlike you. You said that to close friends. You didn't say it, but you just.

It's backed it out now. Well, when you're as good looking as Teddy. Yeah, you can pull it off. You can make those rules. He's selling out those lot of tickets. Yeah, but now he doesn't really want him to get him. Like, if I leave him with anybody, Gettom is the last resort because I know he's not real, like, jazz to be in his company.

Because Gettom doesn't give him any of the attention that he gets from everybody else on the planet, though. Right. You know, people are baby talking him. People are fucking snuggling in him. get him just fucking stares at his computer screen. Right. Like when he tells him no, if he fucking goes and smells, you know, some fucking countless crumbs all around his fucking, uh, chair.

He's like, he, like, he's a bad dog because he fucking went over and smelled him. I did what dogs do. Yeah. Well, you also say, since I don't baby talk him, I give him British accents and that's, yeah, I told you that's, that's weird. Okay. He's like, he's not going to, a dog definitely responds more to baby talk than a fucking British butler.

Yeah, like one. Alfred. When Teddy comes in, it's like cheers. It's like, Teddy! Yeah, we're excited. Not get him. Not get him. It does not have that same reaction.

I think he'd be a little bit jealous of Teddy. Since he's coming to the fall, he's got to get a lot more attention. Because I thought, like, one of the things of autism was that people, they connected with animals because it was like none of those human social. As long as they don't eclipse them. Yeah. And they're okay with animals. As soon as they become the focal point, yeah, then they're like, yeah. They, all autistics?

I'm also more of a cat person. Yeah. Yeah, but Teddy, I mean... What's he got to do to win you over? Really? What's he got to do? How much more adorable can a creature of a fucking be? And it's still not good enough for you.

He's so photogenic. He won a contest. I say, I don't like him. I like him. I talk to him all the time. I bring him toys. The ball he's playing with is for me. You found that.

Yeah, but I gave it to him. I was going to keep it for myself, but I gave it to him. Because you're for my trash pile originally. Because you keep taking all his toys and throwing them out. Wow. And we're waiting for Book Shields. I told you we had to get rid of all this garbage in here. Yeah, you got to ring in Teddy when Brooke Shield is here.

Oh, yeah. Win her over. Yeah. I imagine, right? I'm sure she's not. Unless she's autistic. They have a dog. I don't like any animal that eclipses my.

If I thought the most important. thing in the room, then I don't want to be in that room. Fuck it. That's not a room for me. Yeah, Norm, uh, Norm is like he's skittish around most people. Like anybody knew he's skittish around, but he hates my sister's boyfriend. No reason. Like, they always say that, you know, trust in animals instincts.

That's what I said to Mary Beth. Yeah. I was like, he knows something. We just got to figure out what it is because he, he's like, they pulled up, uh, my sister brought Sage home yesterday. They went and got their nails done and her boyfriend was driving. And Norm stood outside that car just. barking at him, howling at him, bang at him, until they left.

He would not stop. And he wouldn't go back in the house either. So I think he might be on to something. There's Brooke Shields with a couple dogs. Ask your sister if you can get like a piece of her boyfriend's clothing. All right. And then, you know, start to like see if, like, bring it into the house, see if he has the same reaction. That's not a bad idea.

Yeah. And if he recoils at the clothing and you know it's not some sort of coincidence. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I'll couch it as like, yeah, we're trying to get them. to warm up to your boyfriend when really it's like, give me his underwear. You're something with a lot of must.

I need a good, I need something that carries a lot of scent. Not for me, not for me. Have you guys been watching Spider-Noir? I watched the first episode. Did you? What did you think? It was a fun first episode. It gets better. Yeah. It gets better.

It was a fun first episode. I like it. I like it. I like Nick Cage a lot. And I like noir stuff. So I was like, all right, let me give it a try. Did you watch them black and white of color? Black and white? Yeah, me too. I haven't watched it yet.

No, no, no. Yeah, it was, it's good. You know, it's got some modern issues with it, but it's good. It's good. I do wish there was more, there was more fighting. There's a couple episodes where like there isn't a lot of fighting with the criminals versus spider noir. Wow, this is blow my mind. This is Brian Johnson.

Like, Brian Johnson's like, I wish there was more mindless fighting. I mean, I'm sorry. Are you about to go snooch in a second and go, Nah. 37. I mean, because that is not what I would expect you to want out of a fucking show. Like, I wish there was more fighting between good guys and bad guys. Well, I knew it was a superhero show.

Yeah, it does. I know. But I'm like, there was one episode where there was like no fighting. It was all build up and story and shit. And I was like, what the fuck? Nobody threw one punch. Wow. Yeah.

So I got two more episodes to go. Oh, okay. Yeah, I started watching. My internet and cable have been out. for like four days. I've had no TV or internet. It's been fucking great. I was gonna say,

how is it? But popping DVDs in. Yeah? Yeah. You still got them? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I still buy them.

Like, I just, Fight Club just came out on a 4K. I bought that. I'll still buy them for the other time. Really? The evil dads I watched the other night

because I have them on the 4K, yeah. You know, you just have, I mean, I gave up that ghost. I was like, there's no way I'm going to be buying. There's no way I'm ever going to watch a DVD ever again.

It's not like in the old days where you would go to Best Buy and buy like, buy like $10 for $2 and just, you know, whatever. It's a David Trimmer movie. I'll watch it once at the run out. Like I'll buy like Evil Dead. I know I'll watch a billion times. Fight Club I'll watch. You know what I mean?

If they're of my favorites. But you could just find it online and stream it, right? You couldn't this week. Oh, because of yes. Yeah. So it's been great. But you had electricity though, so you could. I had electricity.

Yeah. And it's also, it doesn't matter how many streaming services you have when you look up what you want to watch. It's never on there. It's never on there. It's never on me. Well, yeah. I mean, you have the ultimate streaming service.

I never seem to have that problem. God forbid your internet goes out like you, though. And you're going to be borrowed DVDs from us. I still have my DVDs. I still have tubs and tubs of DVDs under the house. Yeah. Yeah, I finally got rid of a bunch of them and they made their way into the house. My wife was just like, why don't you just throw them away?

I was like, I can't throw them away. You could give them to goodwill or something, you know? I can't. Oh, you want to keep them? Yeah, there's part of me that just has a big hurdle of throwing away. all those DVDs I bought. Do you keep the boxes? Oh, yeah.

I put the new 4K ones I'm keeping the boxes, but all my old DVDs, I throw out the boxes and put them in, like, wallets. Because it takes all this and it's like this. I know, but like if you ever want to resell them, like, let's say one of them comes a collector's on. How much are I going to get for Waterworld on DVD? Like, it's just not going to. Yes.

Like Spider-Rand 2, which is at every flea market. Yeah, so I mean. Thousands of them. Right. I think Spider-A-2, but maybe the most overproduced DVD in world history, but there are some DVDs that go for like, you know, 30, 40 bucks.

Yeah. It's not a print and, you know, they're not streaming anywhere. I have an original reanimator that's worth like 75. I think that's the only one I have that's worth anything. But my wife is like, you know, you're never going to sell it, though. You don't know that. I know, I know, I know. I just cannot make that jump to throw it out.

It's season one of full house. What a thing? Where's they going rec on it? Yeah. Take out that scene where she goes, cut it out. Ha! I really once in an episode. Oh, boy.

That is a fucking full house, deep cut. That was before that. That show he used to do. Oh, with the comedy. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Teddy's not making jokes. like this.

No. That's why he snuggles me and fucking, you know. Get him a snuggles. Yeah, I'll lay on your lap. I'll jump on you and lick your face. That's okay. Yeah, so anyway, Spider-N-War, I would recommend it for people who... Did you watch Widows Bay yet?

I have not. Widows Bay. Let me write it down. Yeah, every episode is just so much fun to watch. They balance horror and comedy, like, really well. It's not scary, scary. It's more like spooky, but they balance it well. What's it on?

Apple TV. I saw Apple TV made a new Cape Fear, too. I haven't seen it yet, but... Oh, it's out? They remade Cape Fear. It was Harvey Air Barden and Amy... Amy Adams. Yeah.

I didn't see it. Yeah, me neither. I just saw that was available today, so... But I like Nick Kaye. I like that, like, he's so... How old is Nicky? He's got to be in the 60s, right? At this point, yeah.

And I like that he's playing Spider-D.' man and like but playing it old right like playing it old playing it broken down playing it like why am i doing this yeah i like that that's cool oh speaking of spider man had a question from a listener uh want to accuse advice okay uh as this couple it was the there's the wife they had us they had a baby they named a ben riley nice and they're having another child and they want to know if it's could or should they name it peter Parker because our last name is Parker. Yeah, why wouldn't they?

I think, are they setting him up for like years of... A webhead. Like they named the other kid Ben Riley Parker, like middle name is Riley. That's cool. If they're asking me, I say, why wouldn't they? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if I...

Because it's a lot of pressure too on the kid then. Name him Cal L. Fuck it. I don't know. I don't... I mean, comics aren't what they were like. when we were growing up. It's not like they're... But I think more people would get the joke, though.

Because of Peter Parker, you know... I mean, there's no doubt he'd get sick of it as his life goes on. Yeah. But, I don't know. It's still a cool name. You would like that? If I was named Peter Parker? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot to live up to. I can do it. I'm doing it right now. But yeah, despite what I said on a... sell comics about like how I don't think they should be fucking endless variants of

of characters. Available on Patreon. There you go. I did dig the first episode of Yeah. It's a pretty fun show. Yeah, the villain,

like the reveal of the guy, I don't want to give it away, like the guy in the white tuxedo who follows him up. Right, right. He turns out to be. I was like, oh,

that's pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to, it's got me a while before I get to Spider noir because I started watching scrubs. I got to finish something before I started something new. I never heard.

I mean, that's show. was on forever. Yeah. You never heard anybody ever talk about it. It's funny. It's not bad. Yeah, it's a funny show.

It's not like, like, you know, one of the best shows ever. It's not super funny. Yeah. But it just does enough, I think. Yeah, like that. I haven't seen every episode,

but like, whenever I was on forever. I never heard a single person ever mention it and say like, hey, I like this show. Not me neither. How many seasons? Started in, like,

it's got to be like 15 seasons. Really? And what it's about like, life at a hospital? Yeah, yeah. It makes a have a lot of questions. I want to have Dr. Dion and, uh, based upon scrubs and see, like, how close to reality medicine, like in, if your world, right?

Oh, I bet you there's probably a lot. I bet you the show had to be created by a doctor. Yeah, nine seasons. Yeah. Mm. Yeah, right. I don't, makes me want, I wish I could become a doctor. Like me, you know, maybe it's too late in my life to, uh, it's not too late to become

a doctor. Why would it be too late? You'd be a doctor in four years. I think it takes seven years to become a doctor. Well, you've got to go to college first. He's got to get his bachelor's. Then I guess you probably want to go a little bit further and get your master's to get into medical school. And you got to go to medical school for four years.

Then you've got to do your internship for two years. And then you've got to pay for the school. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, speaking of paying for school, I saw the, I saw that we were talking about We were talking about doing cons and stuff like that last week

I saw this this quick bit on this guy called son of lurch And all he does is go around Now this is a guy who like I couldn't like take a picture of it But his setup is unbelievable And he's just the son of lurch

From the Adams family Is he dressed like lurch? No, no he was dressed normally But he was He's basically trying to preserve of the legacy of of Lurch Okay.

Ted Adams? Ted Adams, yeah, right? Ted Cassidy. Ted Cassidy, yeah. And there were people around his move. Yeah, exactly. That's all he said, right?

That's all he said, yeah. Where we go, yeah, yeah. Oh, so it's his actual son. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's cool. Oh, he is dressed as Lurch. Yeah, he's all lurched out.

Yeah, the picture I saw he was on Lurch. Oh, I. he looks like his dad what a fucking amazing oh like amazing thing for a son to do to keep his father's legacy like

that's never my daughters are never going to do that go to that much effort for anything right there's nothing I'll put out a baromask this is crazy right yeah

see what I mean he is like a whole setup with books and pictures and all kinds of stuff I mean, you have to be a real lurch fan, I guess, in order to... We should start one called The Real Lurch. Just get the booth next to this guy. We're all like... Lerast him for him. Legion of Lurch.

His father was a Bigfoot. $6 million. He played in one of the Bigfords. I believe you looked that up, get him? Ted Cassidy, Bigfoot. I believe I'm right on that. If I'm not, then I... It's going to bug me all day long.

I'll beat myself up. Endless love so stupid. Let's see. Cybernetic creature Bigfoot. I think he was the second Bigfoot. He played him after Andre. What happened? Andre, did he die or something?

Andre was just too busy, I guess. Oh, at that time, yeah, probably. 76. 77. Nice. And probably after the first time, putting on that costume and all that bullshit in the contact.

Right. Yeah, it ain't worth it. He's like, I just did Princess Bride. All I have to do was put on his shirt. Oh, it would have been post. I mean, it would have been before Princess Bride. Yeah, that's what I mean. That's why he didn't want to go back to it because he's like,

Oh, even, even with the second time, it would have been before. The Princess Bride's probably 86. Yeah. Yeah, $6 million a man was probably 78. He was still relatively healthy back then. Yeah. He got so he couldn't walk after a while. He did it in 76.

Who? Cassidy. For $6 million man and bionic woman. And then again, 77. Yeah. So what was it, 75 for Andre? I guess so. Sondal lurch.

I visited, I had the big slick charity this weekend. You did? I was following you on Instagram. Yeah, I don't post much about it, but we went to the hospital and visited a bunch of sick kids. It was crazy, man. How funny was it? It was hysterical. No, it was really touching, man.

We do it every year, so it's not the first time I've done it, but it was like, It kind of ground you. We were like, oh, shit, man. These kids were like 16. I'm bitching because my cable's at. I had to watch a DVD last night. I had to go physical. Physical media.

Don't you understand? I'm not lining in a bed all day. I watch TV. Yeah, it was something special, man. And are all the kids aware, like, of every celebrity that shows up? Do they get, like, primers or something? Because it would suck to show up, and they're like, who the fuck are you? I have a feeling that we

Because I feel like that would happen to me That they ask them who they Because every room we went in and the kids were like You're excited to see us So I think that they asked them like who Right right They would want to see Yeah they don't set up the celebrity

Be like come in and be like And they're like this is so and so And they're like oh They're that like they're not even like They're no recognition Right right Yeah yeah it was it was extremely Touching

I felt good Felkins do. Yeah. Like, yeah, like, where'd you have to go? Uh,

we're in Kansas City. Um, so a hospital up there and, and, uh, uh, you know, it was not,

it made me, actually made me love the TV show more. Oh, yeah? Yeah, because the kid was like, he's like, I've been dealing with this for years and watching your show.

It's like, got me through it and stuff like that. And mother started crying and she's like, I, you know, something's the first time he's left and, and my, I was like,

wild. I was stuck crying now. I'm like, and I'm like, Jesus. Yeah, I know. It was kind of crazy, but it kind of realigned me a little bit, you know, which is, which it does every year. It does every year.

They do great work, those guys up there, the big slick guys, the chattah there. I think so far they've raised like $35 million. Wow. I know. It's like nuts. Good guys. You can't cure these kids with $35 million, huh? I guess not.

I mean, it's, it's, it's surgeries, you know what I mean? Right, right, yeah. You see this little baby with, like, a big swollen head because you have brain surgery and stuff like that. And it's so, you know, it was crazy. But it definitely like realigns a little bit. Yeah, there was, I remember when we were doing a comic book man, these people came in and they were, they were fans of the show. They were saying hello. And I was like, oh, so what are you doing?

Like you get down in the area, go to the beach or something. Like, no, we're on our way to Philadelphia because their daughter, who was like three was like blind and deaf and like was getting operations because she had like she was not well. Yeah. And I remember at the time thinking like, what the fuck could I ever possibly complain about like these. Like forget, forget the parents. Yeah. And the little, you know, you got the little girl who's like, okay, I'm blind and deaf. Yeah.

And I'm just going to get on. Where am I going from here? But the parents, like what a, even Sage's friend Mary. It's like she's had like something like 18 operations or something because her backs all fucked up and shit. Yeah. And her parents have to constantly go to the Ronald McDonald house and all that and get the operations. It's hard-breaking that. Yeah.

But you never saw a fucking kid with a more chipper attitude. Yeah. Better outlook on life. Always happy. Every time you see her. Great. You use a little more. Give me some of that.

I need some of that. Yeah. I'm sitting here complaining today because I started a new home project, a home improvement project out front. I ripped out all these hedges. Okay. And I'm going to put, Mary Beth wants to put stones down and then put flowers and shit in there instead of these ugly

hedges. So I tore all the hedges out, cut out, cut out the roots, cut out the stems or the trunks or whatever, and the blazing heat. I'm like, fuck this. I can't take it. I can't take it. I got to start doing it earlier in the morning. It's too fucking hot out. Did you rip out the shrubs all the way to the roots? I did not. Okay. No, I cut the stump as deep down as I could. You got to be careful when pulling out stumps. Yeah? Yeah. What happens? What did you do? So yesterday, I got to learn to like, there was a time I think when somebody would be like, nobody would ever describe me as being a nice guy, right?

Surly, able. Quiet, quiet too. I think the universe is trying to tell me stop being a nice guy. Oh, okay. Because I went into the post office I always go to. And the guy behind the counter, I love this guy's sweetest postman ever. I would take a bullet for this guy. A rubber bullet, nonetheless.

Like if his post office was on fire, I'd run in to fucking save him. But like I could drive. I mean, you could see another post office on fire. More likely you'd probably see me holding a can. Like a gas can because they're fucking, they could burn up and fucking, I could care less. But I would run in and try to help him. But he's in, I'm in there yesterday. I'm dropping off the mail.

And he's in discomfort. And he goes, oh, I heard my back. I hurt my back. he goes, I have no aspirin. I have nothing. And I'm like, well, what do you need? I go, I'll go, I'm driving by Walgreens. I'll go get you something.

And I think he's 99 out of 100 times. People are like, oh, no, no, no. Oh, thank you, thank you. Shock of shocks. So he goes, like, okay. All right. Did you open door dash and be like, just put the order in on this? I was like, all right, you know what?

He's a great guy. Let me go do this. and he's trying to look up what he wants me to go buy him. And I told him, just text it to me. I'm going to get in the car and text it to me and I'll pick it up while I'm there. I get there and a fucking text come in. It's something called Australian Dream. And I'm like, what's the fuck?

I'm going to Walgreens, man. I'm not going to have international fucking muscle. Grudging it already. You're just regretting it already. Yeah, like, what's the fuck? Bengay, asshole. I can find that. Why are you giving me something that I'm never going to be able to find?

So I go in, and sure enough, I cannot find it fucking anywhere. Going up and down the aisles, and eventually I just ask the pharmacist, who apparently cannot be asked a question about fucking anything in the fucking store. He's a pharmacist. I don't stock fucking shows. And he says what aisle it's down. And eventually I find it. It's $38.

$38 for a little jar of Australian dream. Yeah, that's it. Arthritis pain relief cream. $33. That's online, yeah. And so he only gave me a 20. I might no big deal. I'll pay, you know, I don't care.

He's a great guy. I get up to the fucking counter. Put it on the company. And I say to him, I go, I didn't know. I had texted him, though, like, do you want this? It's $33, I asked. Yeah. And I'm waiting to see, like, maybe he doesn't want it.

You know, I guess I texted him. And I got, you sure you want it? It's $33. And he's not getting back to me. So I'm in line and I'm kind of like looking at my phone. It's almost my turn. And there's a kid. Have you ever been?

The Walgreens by, it's by me. But maybe you go to it. There's a kid in there. He looks like he's 18 year old dead Flanders. Yes. I know you're talking about. He's kind of like a little quirky, like super quirky. I got super mad at that guy one time because I wanted to drop off a FedEx package.

And he goes like, well, you have to wait in line. And I was like, all right. I mean, normal. I said it's all taken care of. And he's like, no, you got to wait in line. So I wait in line. And he just fucking, I hand it to him and he just puts it down. And I was like, you fucking asshole.

It's not like he scanned it or anything. There's something wrong with that guy. All right. There's something like, he might be on a work program. Probably, yeah. So he, because I can tell because he's dealing with the way he's deal with the customers before I get up there. You know, he's Josh in and fucking around and me. making jokes, but they're like weird.

So he says to me, because he's looking my phone. I don't know if he's making a, like a, a statement that I'm on my phone in line and he's kind of annoyed by it. But he goes, I jammed your phone. He goes, don't expect to get a text. He goes, or don't expect it to work because I'm jamming it right now. And I go, oh. Sounds like this guy.

I go, really? I go. So I play along with it. And I go, all right. Well, I go, I need you to unjam it immediately. And he goes, like, he does like a, like a magicians kind of. like he goes like this like I know you can't see what I'm doing but like you know that kind of thing where you're like ta-da and he goes it's unjammed and I'm like I'm still waiting for this

for Steve to get back to me and I'm like yeah it's still jammed I said I'm gonna need to see a manager right now I said oh no I did it in a dead bad voice like I was like because I it goes like look I mean if you broke this phone I said you're gonna have to pay for it and he goes no no he goes the internet's just bad in here he goes um he goes he goes you go outside it'll work I go, no. I go, nope. I go, I doubt you to fix it right now, I said. At this point, I'm not even keeping up. I'm laughing about it, right? And then he goes into, like, I'm sure you've seen it where, like, like, a certain type, like, they get frustrated.

Right. And then he starts to, like, like, go into his own head and just starts staring at the ground. And he kind of, like, is, like, getting, like, upset. It's starting to get red-faced and shit. Yeah. And he's, like, not answering the question. And I'm like, well, I tell the late. I'm like, look, I'm waiting for a text.

You can go in front of me. And she's looking at me like, like, she doesn't know what's going on. And he's not answering the questions anymore. He's not talking back to us. And I go, look, I was like kidding around. I said, I'm just waiting on somebody to text if I should buy this or not. And he doesn't answer me. Oh, no.

And he's just kind of like doing the, like ignoring everybody in the line. He won't fucking take the next person. Holy shit. And the lady starts looking at me like, I just kicked a puppy. Like, she's mad at me because I guess I was being a journalist. I only fooling around. I said, I go. And then I said, and then I said,

He says he wants it then. You want your phone. No, the text comes through. Oh, okay. He didn't really jamming, you know. Yeah, I figured. I figured he didn't really jamming. Okay.

Well, what did you do? What's on jamming? So Steve finally answers it is, yes, buy it. So I go, I go, okay, I'm just going to buy it, I said. And so he starts to come out of his little, like, tantrum in his head that he, and he, like, scans it. And I go to fuck a paper and I don't have enough money for it. I didn't have enough to cover it. Oh, no.

So I'm like, I'm a dollar something short. I'm like, oh my God, I go. I go, you got to go out to the car, I said. So you might as well just, you know, take it off. I got to go out to the car. And I don't have enough money in the car either. So I had to go home. Get money.

Come back. And this time when I come back, the fucking line is like six people long. So I get waiting in line for it. I get up to him. And I go, yeah, did you? He goes, I put it back. He goes, I put it back on the shelf. So you got to go back.

I'm back to get it. I go back again. There's three more people in line. It's fun. I get to, I get, I get, I bring it to the postman. Sweetest man alive. And I'm like, I'm already like 45 minutes into this. And I'm like, I'm just going to drop it off.

And I'm like, hey, don't worry about it. I go, I got it. You know, you're great guy. You don't worry about the difference. Can you put it on me for? He then proceeds to tell me like, I just, I just. want to run in and run out. He goes, then he starts to go into, like, how he hurt his back.

And I'm like, oh, man, that sucks. And, like, he just keeps going. And I can't get that natural break. I got to go. I got to go. He's like, another 20 minutes of him, Tom Lane. Holy shit. He tried to fucking rip a stump out of the ground just by using his own fucking

strength. His own root force? Yeah. And I'm like, you couldn't fucking rip a, I'd fucking stump out of the ground with fucking five horses. Right. You thought you could rip it out of you. I want to be like, this is the fucking guy.

I spent fucking 50 minutes. of my life that I could never get back making people in the fucking in the line fucking angry at me because I was playing I was being nice I thought

to the kid I was going along with his fucking he started the shit with his daydream that he had fucking in air but no they didn't

he was very resentful that was being too nice I was being nice to the fucking kid like playing along with his little gag to being nice to the fucking post office guy

and then what did it get me nothing there's almost an hour I did you have 13 bucks a hour $10. That sucks. Jesus. Well, I won't try to rip them out myself then. I remember, like, I didn't try, but I pulled them out at the old house.

And I used my Jeep in a chain to, like, rip them out in the ground. Yeah. It didn't occur to me. I'm like, I'm just going to pull on this until it comes up. I got this. Yeah. No way. No way.

Yeah, I just, I used a little mini chain, so I just cut it down as far as I could and then covered it up with dirt. So hopefully that works. I don't know. Yeah. Don't regrow or anything. No. You know what does work, Q? Blue chew.

Blue chew. You want to do Blue Choo first? Oh, I don't know. Harry's Razors? Those work? I can do Blue Choo first. Whatever you want, all right.

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They only want to hear about hard bonus. Keep a positive. Let's see. Let's personalize this. Let's riff, as they suggest. Getting hard is not the same thing as getting aroused. Get that solution that does both and more. You know what I'm surprised Blue Chew hasn't done is by the formula from like extends.

So like and combine Blue Chew and extends. So not only is you get your dick ready, it also grows bigger. I don't know if it was extended. Was that ever just proven or I guess I thought the FDA approved that as a legitimate I don't know. Can you look up extends? I didn't even heard of this. Yeah, he's not the one at that. Commercial.

I don't like with Jimmy Johnson. I've had a subscription for years. It hasn't worked so far. What do we got to? Totally. I never would have thought of extensive again if you had to imagine that. I got to imagine. I'm only kidding.

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We can't... Or probably can't even mention it then. No. In the ad from... We could say how it don't work. Yeah. Can't say that. Fuck extends, right?

Yeah. Let's see. Less is more. How about more is more? More blood flow, more arousal, more performance. That's... I mean, what else do you need to know? I've been talking about blue chew for years now.

Would you just fucking buy it all? Why are you guys? Because it's not even about getting the boner. It's about getting, like, the bone, type of boner you had in your 20s. Yes. That's what I learned with my test sample. Kew, I have to wonder the accounting at Blucho.

At this point, like Bryce said, this many years in, how many people are we? Converting to Blue Chil? Conversions are we getting from the OD2 for Blucho? Hundreds. Really? I just put a real number. Why don't we end the commercial before we start getting into this? Let me read it.

Let me read the call the action first. It's about to repeat customers who come back because it works. Someone of Bluetooth is like, yeah, they're right. Why are we paying these assholes? I think it's more about, like, because they do sponsor a lot of podcasts. I think it's more about brand awareness. They just want people to be talking. They are the name, right?

They are the name, yeah. It's like Coke in Pepsi. Like, they just continue to put out ads, but they really don't need to. No, everybody knows Coke. Yeah, but keep up brand awareness in mind, yeah. So don't let your mind get in the way of a good time. Discover your options at bluechew.com. And here's the special deal for listeners.

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Let's see. I'm going to paint the scene. Hunger strikes and I'm exhausted. There's something healthy in the fridge pantry I should be making, but I just don't have it in me. Do you have a pantry? I don't. What is a pantry?

I've heard of it. It's like a little room off the kitchen, right? Pository room. Yeah, where you keep all your canned goods and your dry goods. Yeah, you got a pantry. Of course you do. Come on, you've got multiple pantries. Yeah, his pantry is bigger than my kitchen.

Technically, it's called the Butler's pantry. Oh, yeah, I see it. Yeah, I know what he's talking about. Your pantry room has a fucking panic room in it. What do we got to go to the ground? What do we got here? Oh, Factor. Eating healthy isn't a willpower problem.

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details. All right, I got two more. Should we wait on them? Yeah, let's wait on it. Otherwise, you're really pounding people with ads. I did want to thank a lot of the listeners who reached out after last week's episode. I think I unintentionally painted a picture that I may be living in a cardboard box. Yeah, it's wooden.

I think, I don't know, but the amount of outpouring of support and concern and... Support in terms of Patreon subscriptions, maybe? No So no real support No no no In terms of That's kind of support The people who reached out

Are all there anyway So but A lot of people like Like just Yeah I don't I didn't want to paint a picture That I

Needed You know people Listeners were like I'm going to send you $100 At the end of the month And I'm going to keep sending you $100 a month I'm like no no

Please no Well that gets split through ways Yeah, right? That's pretext. We don't really got to tell anybody about it. That's $33 a piece. Yeah, they should mail it directly to the store. In cash.

It is so sweet. That is so touching. But, yeah, I do not need money. I do not need anybody to be concerned about my welfare. You're on welfare? Oh, my God. Yeah, my food staff are coming in. at the first of every month on time, I'm good.

Maybe if I had the end of the month, you know, maybe it's a little dicey, you know, but no. Relying on some cheese. No, I, yeah, like, it was so, like, touching me here so many people. But, yeah, I think maybe I probably shouldn't have even mentioned it because it did set off a lot of people worrying needlessly. And I definitely did not want to have that be the reaction. And I was touched, but again, yeah, there's no need for anybody to be like, I want to do anything for me. Subsidize your lifestyle. No, not at all.

That is very sweet. But I thought that you did a great job of like being, like, this is what's going on. Like, you weren't like, this sucks. I'm my fucking, you were just like, this is what's going on. It did suck this week, though. Oh, my God. There was a point where I was like, I'm fucking done with this shit. So have you ever heard of something called organic food stores?

I know of an organic section in a food store. I don't know about organic. An entire food store? That's the type of story probably what you wouldn't catch me in. I had to go into one. Okay. And the first thing that hits you is the fucking smell. The smell, yeah.

It smells like, do you ever, like, open a bottle of vitamins and take the fucking cotton out and you just hit that riff of vitamins? I know exactly the smell you're talking about. There's an organic food store next to my vet. and I would sometimes go in to grab something and that smell is like, wow, this is healthy. It's overwhelming.

This can't be healthy. So I have to go in and get nine things, but only three items. So in this food store, like I may as well be walking into a foreign country. Like there's nothing in there that's recognizable. It's like a goat walking around. No,

in terms of brand names. Like there's no brand name, no recognition at all. For any of the brand names. So the first thing. No, this is Butterworth. No. No.

Yeah. It's like the labels of a hammer and sickle on it and shit like that. Mom daubios. You got some old domios with some goat milk. You know, the first thing, and my wife is telling me, because she's going to wait in the car, with Ted, she's like, you shouldn't have did this. You shouldn't did this. It's like, you got to deliver it with.

in, I think it was, 28 minutes I had to do a shop and get it to the guy. Before it spoils. And she's like, you shouldn't have did this one. But what happens if you don't get it to him in 38 minutes? 28 minutes. 28 minutes.

You just get, it counts against your record. Oh, dang. And so I go in, and the first thing I get is, like, a bunch of bananas. And I'm like, isn't it any banana fucking organic? Like, how is there, like, why are you paying so much more for an organic banana over a banana in ShopRite. They must spray the shop right ones with some kind of pesticide.

They don't even if they peel off anything? I would think so. They spray the organic ones with pesticides, but it's a more, better pesticide. Oh, okay. So I go in, I find the bananas right off the bat. I'm like, boom, I'm on a fucking roll. And when I go in, I'm like a Terminator.

Yeah. Bananas, covered. Yeah, like, I'm like, like, I have a mission and God help anybody that gets in my fucking way. Yeah. I'm going to fucking blow them away. No one's damming my phone.

Yeah. Like, I got to get this shit done. and he wants this cereal, this healthy cereal, and go down to cereal, I can't find it. So I say I can't find it on my phone. They're like, go talk to a customer. I mean, somebody who works at the store. I get this kid fucking reeks of fucking marijuana.

He's working there, and I'm like, hey, I can't find this cereal. Can you show me where it's at? He goes, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he goes, he's looking, he's looking. I can't find it either, bro. And I go, all right. Do you know where it is? He goes, yeah, I don't want to tell you.

He goes, like, he only looks for two seconds. I don't know. I don't know. It should be here in this aisle, though. So then I go, well, is there somebody else that can help me? And they go, he goes, yeah. And then they get the guy who stocks that aisle comes over. Smells a marijuana.

I think everybody in the fucking organic foods store, all they're doing is smoking. Are you smoking in the dispensary? I think all they do is smoke in the back room. Yeah. And they're organic fucking dobies. and he comes over and he's like, that's a bad thing. Because you're on the fucking clock.

I got to fucking order. And you're fucking treating it as if it's not a big deal. And he's like, well, yeah, I just saw it last week. He goes, I fucking put it on the shelf. He doesn't say, I put it on the shelf. It should be here. I don't have to tell you. Yeah, I can't find it.

He goes. So to. He's like, you're fuck, son. So then I'm like, I have to report that I can't find it. And that's a whole big thing. Or I got to take a picture of the, of the, shelf and say they want you to prove that it's not where it should be. Sure.

And he says it should be here. So like I take a picture of it. I upload it. This is the customer want you to prove it? No, the DoorDash. Oh, the DoorDash. And so they, I have to prove that I look for it at least. And they say that's not the, that I get it that says like that's not the section where it should be.

Try looking somewhere else. How the fuck do you mean? I'm already fucking now. I'm already behind like at least 10 minutes now. Can you take a video of the guy telling you? No, no videos. Oh, because that would be great. Yeah.

No video. So finally, I find a button that says I could refund the customer for the cereal. So then I got to go. The last thing he needs is probiotic. Probiotics. Probiotics. Yeah. Soda.

Codda. Okay. Yeah. What the fuck's the point of that? I don't know. Improves your gut health. He wants six. No, I know what the point of probiotics is why are you putting it in soda?

It's more palatable. So what the fuck is it? What is it? Soda. It's beneficial bacteria. It's like bacteria. It's like yogurt type stuff. Yeah.

Or like kombucha or something like that. It's so fucking gross. When I take antibiotics, they hurt my stomach. I have to take probiotics with it. In soda? No, soda I don't get. That's gross. It only comes in soda?

No, no. You get powders and put it in fucking food. I take pills. Yeah. So I go to, and there's a soda aisle in this place. I was shocked, but you go on the aisle, there's no Pepsi eater. There's no Coke. Sure.

It's just a million different colors. There you go. Of like orange, reds, pinks. There actually is a prebiotic Pepsi. Really? So I finally found, and he wants six individual cans of this cola. I find it, and I scan it, and I say, I got it. And I put in six, because there's a whole bunch right there.

As I'm putting it in the cart, though, there's only five of them there on the shelf. But I've already entered that I have six. Oh, no. I can't go back. So I'm like, like I asked one, and again, I find another fun guy, taken forever. I'm all the time my wife's going, what's taking so long? And I'm like, ooh. Trying to jam your own phone.

So I asked the guy, I was like, do you have any more of the soda? And I'm not saying it that nice. Right. I'm like, because I'm so annoyed already because no one, everyone's treating me like an annoyance there. The people who work there. You're buying shit. Yeah. You don't smell right.

Yeah. You smell like a narc And they're like, no, we don't have any more of that soda So I don't know what to do So I'm so fucking mad That I go over And I see that underneath Where the individual cans are

You could buy the same soda in a case Of like 12 or 24 So I'm like, fuck it I just rip open the fucking box And I'm like, I'm taking one can out here Fuck them They can have an open carton I don't give a shit

Pull the can out It's fucking half the size of the size of the ones that's on the individual ones. So there's nothing I can do. So I text to my wife and I'm like, I go, I need you to come in and switch with me. I go, I can't fucking do this. I'll watch Teddy you come in and shop. I said, I don't know what to do anymore.

And so I'm going to switch out with her and I see on the end cap there's more of this soda. So I'm like, oh, there it is. I can get that with sixth one now. And they didn't know that the fucking people that you ask for. Yeah. The most prominent fucking spot in the store. They're seeing it all day long.

So I tell Deb, I'm like, you know, she's out, and she's texting me. I'm trying to check out. I'm out in front. Let's, you know, come out and watch Teddy. Because usually I bring the vest that he wear. He's a service dog. Right.

But this day, I didn't have the vest on me. He only had his normal collar, so he couldn't come in. And I said, you know what? I found it. I said, I'm good. I'm checking out. So you have to take a picture of the receipt after you, um, check out. I guess that goes to the customer.

And, um, I'm leaving and we're driving to the guy. house. Oh, he's on South Amboy, too. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. For $12. And we're driving. And Deb doesn't really know a lot about it. It's like, she's just starting doing it. She goes, something just came up.

It was a message from Larry. And I'm like, I think that's the guy. Larry. Larry. And he goes, I didn't authorize the purchase of a bag. And I go, what? And she goes, oh, I go, look at the receipt. What does that mean?

She goes, so for this fucking hemp bag that these fucking idiots fucking put the shit in. That's a 40 cents? It's 99 cents. Right. For this canvas hemp bag that, you know, and the guy's right. He shouldn't have to pay for it, right? Right. So I'm like, fuck.

She didn't tell me that she was going to charge me for the bag. So I'd say to her message him back that like, hey, so sorry. I didn't realize that she charged for the bag. I could just tell him I'll put a buck in the bag. he'll just say don't even worry about it It's the second time This is happening to you And so I just say I'll put a buck in the bag

To cover it You know and say And apologize And I'm telling you He'll just be like Don't worry about it He just writes back Okay

I'm fucking so mad I'm like this fucking asshole Like he knows what I'm fucking making To go all the way to fuck It's out of South Amboy And he's not going to give me The fucking break on the 99 cents I want to be like

He also I'm going to put Hey Larry I'm also going to put a fucking can of coconut so when your fucking balls dropped you can have a real

fucking can of soda you cock sucker full the tampon out of your asshole your organic tampon

oh I was so fucking man Cherokee hair with your balls are you are you ranting to Deb

yeah I was like type that to this fucking cock sucker oh I was fucking

furious and then and then I get always to South Ham by I drop it off and we get another one and it's it was for quite a bit so I was like yeah let's just do it it's on the way home I said but it takes us on to Route

9 and no way but you don't know it there's fucking road work on Road 9 on Route 9 fucking 35 minutes just fucking on fucking crawling along Route 9 and the whole time it's like you're late you're late oh my god

and that's where I was like I don't know there's got to be a better way You know, as a person who uses DoorDash And sometimes we'll be, you know, I'll track them to see You know when they're going to get to the house I'm like, what the fuck is taking this guy so long? Now I know. Yeah.

Now I know. And it's not like I'm not treating it with the most fucking urgency. Like you might as well, you could put a guy delivering a heart to a fucking hospital and me side by side. You couldn't tell the difference in the way that I'm fucking running around that store. Try to find this shit for this guy. Like I'm treating it as if it is life and death. Even my wife's like, you got to calm down.

She's going. It's just fucking soda. And I'm like, I know, it's just like you get, you're wrapped up in the whole thing of the clock. Tunnel vision? The clock. Yeah. And the fucking, yeah, it just like, it does something to me where I'm like, I got to do it. Yeah.

Maybe this isn't the king for you. Yeah. Oh my God. When that guy fucking said okay that I, to put a buck in the back. I was just like, you got to be fucking kidding. Larry, fuck you. Larry. I remember his name of it.

If I were like, hey, man, can I send you some money? I'd be like, yes, you can. Well, you know what? Well, there was one... It wasn't the same day, but it was earlier in the week. I went to... Right around the corner, I didn't even... I fucking drive by it every day.

There's a trailer park that I drive by every single day. Didn't even know it fucking was there. That's how the tunnel vision from home to here is. I had to deliver literally 30 pounds of beer, it felt like, in this box of beer. Jesus. So much beer. Cuba beer. I don't know. How do they measure this shit?

Yeah, it could be like a... No, you like a beer cube. It was so happy. It's like a, damn. A 32 pack or a 30 pack? And I get there and it's at... Nights work, right? Get them.

And it's just this one guy in a trailer. He's in a wheelchair. That's Larry? No, no, this is a different guy. This is a couple days earlier. And he's up on... He has like, I guess, a trailer that's made for a handicap. Accessible.

So it's kind of high and you got to go up this range. amp. So he comes out of his trailer to, because you have to sign for beer. You have to show me your license. Yeah, yeah. 9 to 9 out of 100, you only have, you don't even see the person. But when you get beer, you got to get that or any alcohol. So he comes out and he's signed on my phone. And so he could see down into my car. And every, any time that anybody leaves a car, me, Deb, anybody, Teddy is like, like a century. He is just out that window and he will not fucking break, to stare until that person comes back. So he could see Teddy.

in the car. And he goes, oh my God, he goes, do you have the most adorable dog? He goes, he starts to talk about how his dog passed away last year and how lonely he's been. And he gives your dog's adorable. I was like, you want to? He's super sweet. I go, yeah, I go, being nice again. Yeah, and I let him come out. I go, you want to meet Teddy and pet him and everything. I'm doing this to pay for an operation for him, you know. No, no. No, I'm not lying. Because the guy was really nice. And it was sad because he was like, he's ordering a, I know he's going to drink all this beer by himself. Right. He's not having friends over.

So as I'm getting ready to leave, he goes, buddy, he goes, I kept you here too long. I'm going to give you more money. He starts going to go in his pocket. I'm like, no. Like, that's the point where I'm like, dude, I'm not taking some money from a fucking guy who's living in a trailer park. In a wheelchair. In a wheelchair. Just like, it's not happening.

I said, no. I did say that out loud. Right, right. I was like, no, no, no, bro. Look at you. It's fine. I go, no, no, it's good. It's good.

And he goes, you sure, you're sure. And so then we're leaving. and I see on my phone. He'd take me anyway. Oh, he did it. And I can't refute it. I can't,

like, I can't even contact the guy. Right. Like, there's nothing I can do. He gave me other five bucks. It's just like heartbreaking because you're like, I should not be taking money from a fucking guy in a trailer park.

Yeah. I should not be doing this. You're doing a service for him. Yeah. No, but I should be taking an extra $5 just because I let him look fucking. That's up to him, man.

Yeah. I mean, he didn't take it. He gave me. I know, but I felt bad, though. I should not be.

It is not the proper thing to me. Like, that guy needs that more than I do. And, but then Larry fucking stiffy for that buck. I'm like, still down four bucks. Oh, yeah, but yeah, that was the one where I was just like, man, there's got to be a more expedient way to do this than how I'm approaching it. But whatever. Toward actually mean.

Yeah. Yeah, right. Yeah, I agree. I don't think that's up for a dispute. Well, I mean, I'm working on the... Yeah, yeah. I was wondering, like, what are we going to do with these cons? Like, what is...

Because I've never done them. Like, I've been to them. Well, you could... And I know it's just like, is it just like signing? Like, what is the... Signing, taking pictures and selfies with the... Do we need to bring things? Yeah, 8 by 10s, top loaders.

Okay. I thought people want the picture there, though. Well, you take 8 by 10s with you just in case they want a sign picture. Yeah. What do they do with the picture? I don't know. I don't ask him. They just buy it and they put it up. They put it up on the wall. I know, but like, come on, man, who needs a picture of fucking aging podcasters? Nobody but they could do it. I know, but I could see the...

You know how much money Ming sells Ming-Megg selling Q photos? This is what I do, though. I get in my head. I'm not lying. I know he does. I know he does. But like, this is where I started to get in my head. I'm like, there's got to be a better way than trying to guilt people into buying a of a fucking 60-year-old man. It's not, it's the... That they're going to be like, in 10 minutes, you're like, oh, boy, I paid $20 for this. Fuck it.

20. 20. He hasn't been to a con in a while, has he? It's the experience. It's meeting you. It's, you know, talking to you. And then moving along. Yeah.

Like, I have that photo of Jamie Farr, signed, and I have the photo of me and Jamie Farr. And I love it. Those are... Those are icons, though. I would argue. you are, you're not exactly Jamie far.

Podcasting icons? Yeah. Oh, hey, Teddy. But you're still opposed to doing a show because that's the quickest and delivering what, you know,

people come to show and have the DVD afterwards. I think what, I think I was drawn to doing the DoorDash thing is because I didn't have to rely in anybody but myself then.

I didn't have to, like it was something I could do. Yeah, yeah. Teddy doesn't really, Teddy's just has to come because he's special needs. Yeah.

You can't stay home. He's part testing. He doesn't bring anything to the table when I'm door dashing. He's so happy. But, um... Looking up shit. Like, it was just motivated by like, you know what? I could just, I don't have to, I don't have to, like, rely on a listener to give me something.

You know, I could just do it. I just generating it on my own. But you're still taking money from people. Right. But I don't feel that, like, that feeling of, like, how. I know you don't need a picture of me. I know you don't want a picture of me. No, trust me.

I've been into enough cons. So, so I just want a picture of you, they will walk away. Yeah. I've had it done plenty of times. Like, oh, how much?

Or, oh, you're charging? No, I'm doing it for fucking fun. Yeah. Yeah, like,

I got to find something, you know, and it's so sweet. Like, you guys are so sweet to offer, but I wish I could find something that didn't rely on anybody but me. Well,

you got, I mean, you could, I mean, you've shown just recently you could draw a picture and release prints and sell them. A lot of people reached out and wanted to me to do commissions,

but again, I feel like, I feel like it's hard for me to be like, give me whatever such and such money for me to draw you a picture. What if they don't like it? What if it's not up to their standards? It's not like John Byrne or George Perez.

They don't know who the fuck those guys are. They don't know. Why is that up to? Like, why? Like, it's up to them to decide. It's not up to you. Like, it's up to them to decide whether it's worth it. But it feels like charity, though, again, no.

But you, no, charity is them giving you something for nothing. Like, you're offering a service, whatever it is. And they as adults are choosing to you, more people are not going to buy it than buy it. I just wish that there was, like, something I could fall ass backwards in that I could just do that. Like the lottery or something. Yeah. I bought a lot of teddy tickets.

I told my wife, I was like, yeah, when did we make tonight, Tour D'Artation? And how much did you just do that? spend that teddy tickets. Oh, shit. We're in the hole. But yeah, I just wish there was something out there that I didn't have to rely on somebody that's connected to the podcast, to heard it through the podcast, that's doing it because of the podcast.

You know what I'm saying? I don't know if that makes sense. It does. It's just called a job. Yeah, I got to find one of those. But it's harder to do at this advanced age because I don't have much skills. Didn't you want to be a Walmart grader? They don't do that anymore.

Well, they do. They do, but yeah, they don't hire the aging anymore. Oh, it's all you. Oh, is it like special needs people or just younger people? No, I think it's younger guys. Oh, just younger people. And plus, I would have a very difficult time being like, uh... I'm checking your fucking receipt.

Your receipt doesn't match what it's in your cart, sir. Fuck you! Back to door dashing. I didn't say it you did, but I will heartily agree. There's no way. I'm doing that. There's just no way. Yeah.

But there's got to be something out there. I mean, but I just got to find it, though. I will. Yeah. But I don't understand. I thought we found it. Yeah. Yeah, but like I get it though.

But like you said, though, once we get there, what do we do for fucking days on end? The con I don't understand because I don't do them. Right. Is that a picture of you? Is that old? No, someone made it. It's AI. Yeah.

No, I know it's not. I know you really got one. I was like, is that from when we discussed that? Yeah. Brie, that guy really didn't jam my phone and Q that is. Yeah. We smell like the organic store. Like, I don't understand, like, what we would do at a con.

We can figure it out there. I agree with you. We could figure it out. You do, like, here's what we would normally do. We would, you go there and you sit there for basically, you know, certain number of hours. Sure. People come up to the table.

They take pictures. They buy stuff from you. They say hello, whatever. And then if you want, you can do a panel if there's panels available. No, I know. I know what people do at cons. I guess I just met what we would just sit there at a table all day. Yeah, shoot the shit with people.

And do a panel. A panel now. I mean, if you want to, you don't have to. But if we're doing a panel, might as well just do, just so I'm saying, do a show. What's that first time? And it's going to be probably many times when a person comes up and wants Q and they're like, well, you have to, well, also, these two guys also have to be in the picture. That's too, right?

Who are these two guys? We could figure out our way around that, I think. I've thought of that. Right. That awkwardness of when you go over and stand the skewed or like, no, no, no, your handlers, I don't want them in the fucking photo. Cute. See, that's, that's kind of understandable because he's, he has his own thing as well. What?

With I.J. Yes. So, yeah. So it's at least it's a little more digestible. Right, but it doesn't change the awkward factor. It's going to be out of ten when that person goes like that face and they're like, well, who are these two old guys that are those Q's elderly uncles? There's two dads. Yeah, that to me is not going to be fun.

You know, when that happens, when they're like, people are like, just cue, please. Yeah. Well, it's not extra for Brian Walt. Just cute, please. And then I'm just taking pictures all day while you guys are just hanging out at the booth talking. Yeah, I mean, I just figured we'd figure it out,

but I, yeah, I guess, I don't know, I'm working on it. I'm digging and doing it. I think you'll, I think what your fear is probably going to come to fruition. You're going to be like, just twiddling your thumb. Well, probably not you because people are going to notice you.

And they're going to be like, they're going to be, on your hog, dude. They're not going to let it go. They're going to have fucking holding on tight to get that fucking... They do cons. I mean, like, these guys from Star Wars aren't sitting there to, like, like, they have methods to move. Oh, you think that we're going to be, where there's just going to be, like, a half hour signing window?

No, no, no, no, no, no. But, like, somebody can't just sit at the stand at the table and talk to you for, like, 30 fucking minutes. Oh, that's what you think. I'm not going to... Well, you're thinking you're going to, like, you were... Were you under the impression now that there's a, like, TSD will be signing on, uh, on booth B from the hours of 12 p.m. to 2 p.m. and that's it? No, I, I figured that like you sit at the, you're at the booth, but there's like one of those, like, like,

velvet, like that's the road. Like an L, like an L. And they come in here, they do the thing and then they go out there. They're going to be able to fucking get right up in your face queue. 24, from the moment you walk in. I'd rather just pay for your kid's college. They're going to be like, Q, Q, Q, Q, Q, Q, hey Q, hey Q, hey Q, Q, Q, Q, Q, Q, Q, Q, Q, Q, Q. Hey, Q, Q, Q, okay, Q. Hey, Pue, Brian, Brian, can you get Q? I got an idea for your show.

That'd be really funny. I got the best of practical joke. That's what it's going to be like. I kind of considered that. We'll still commit. We'll do it. We'll do it. That's no problem.

We've done it before. Yeah. I'll do it again. I can throw on my old security. Let's do some, let's not forget those ads, bro. I'm all about the ads now. I'm all about the ads.

I mean ads. Only four. Ridge wallet. Walt, I think you need a Ridge wallet. I saw you taking your money out before. It's all scattered in one. I know. I'm so.

I know Ridge is great, and other wallets are great, but I still fear that me and a wallet are just destined to be fucking parted within a half hour. Not a Ridge wallet. These things are great. I love them. I love mine. You are on fire. Yeah.

Nice work, get them. Me and you. You can join the club. They got a titanium one, you know. I know. Same thing my next made out of. Let's see. Talk about your dads or your significant others.

old wallet. Oh, because it's going to be Father's Day soon. Father's Day's coming up. How guys, how long, wait, or just how guys you've known have gigantic crusty wallets. I don't know anybody like that anymore, but it was a big thing. Didn't Jimmy have a crusty wallet? Does he? Yeah. He may, yeah.

Oh, yeah, I think you're right. You don't got a crusty wallet, do you get a cute? No, I have a cool wallet. Yeah? I don't know where the fuck it is. Yeah, I remember, like, you lost it? It's in my house or in my car somewhere. So how do you go?

How does that work if you're, you're, you're, you're, you know? Some days you're like, I'm going to go wallet. Other days I'm going wallet free? Yeah, yeah. Usually what I'll do is I'll keep my wallet in, like this little draw set by my front door. Mainly I just take my shit out and put it in my back pocket and go walletless. What episode are we up to? 679, 680.

I believe that information hasn't come out by now. Really? Don't we were doing a commercial. Boring. I mean, you asked me a question. I answered it. I couldn't believe it when I was listening. I was here to come out.

I was like, wow, I shouldn't ask that question. But how do you then bring your license today if you didn't bring your wallet? I don't have my license today. That's how I roll. Yeah, I know. How does that work out for you? I used to have two licenses, and I kept one in my car, but then I turned 50 and I had to re-up it. More fascinating.

I'm talking. Please tell me more. He just takes off the sunglasses and bam, they know exactly who he is. I have a great deal with that wallet that looks like the Necronomicon. It's like leather and stuff. Yeah, it's pretty cool. But I want a rich, so. Yeah.

I'll get you on. Yeah, all right. The overstuffed beat up leather one that barely fits in his pocket. Are you embarrassed when he pulls it out at dinner? I remember as a kid being embarrassed when he would pull out his wallet. Yeah? Mollants would fly out of it. You were poor.

Does his lower back always hurt because he's sitting on evening? Even. That's why this Father's Day is the perfect time to get him something to actually use everything. I remember when moss flew out of your fucking piano. Oh, yeah. I'm sure. All three of them. What's that thing when you lift them for the show the keys? Oh, yeah. All moss flew out. Because you were so poor. That's where we kept all our money in our piano.

Let's see. A Ridge wallet is what he'll use every day. Unique, slim, modern design that holds up with 12 cards plus cash, made with premium materials like aluminum, titanium. Nium and carbon fiber. Over 50 plus colors and titles to choose from. They should make an adamantium one. Oh, that would be cool. Or at least call it that. Hmm?

Or at least call it that. Oh, I'm sure Marvel has copyrighted adamantium, I imagine. No. Isn't adamantium like the name of a real thing? Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, okay.

I thought that was something they made up, a word they made up. Sounds like it. Yeah. Sorry, Ridge. Ridge. What about that money? Over 100,000 five-star reviews. you can feel confident when this is the kind of gift he'll brag about and actually use.

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after you purchase. They'll ask you where you heard about them. Support the show and tell them Steve Dave sent you. You get them. you post links and the passwords when the episode comes out? We mean passwords? Well, yeah, the code.

I post links sometimes. Like, if it's pictures and stuff like. Can you start posting the codes? I get so many emails or people are like, do you know what the code is for yada, yada, yada, and I'm like, they're like, I don't feel like. Really, Declan should be putting them on each episode. Just where?

In the description. Like, it'll come up in the description, like when you go to Spotify or the bottom all the way at the bottom. Yeah, yeah. Just forward those to me, so I have the links for each one. Yep, we'll do. Yeah, I always get people asking them for the codes, and I don't know the fucking codes. Yeah, they're all put them in.

How are you supposed to remember them all? I assume it's always TSD related, but I'm sure it's not, it's a little bit more than just writing TSD. You got TSD. You got TSD 50 off. Yeah, yeah. And let's see what's Raycon. Raycon is, oh, Raycon doesn't have one. All right.

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It's a zone in or zone out. It says zone in. You would think zone out though, right? Yeah. Maybe it's a play on words. It's just like clever. Could be. It's not that clever.

Zone in. Hmm. Zoning? Yeah. Let's see. The active noise cancellation is honestly so good. It blocks out background noise in a way that makes everything feel more immersive and focused without any effort. It's the rare gift that works for so many different moments in his day, not just one.

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No, why would I go with them? I don't know I think they're okay. You remember your problem? I remember the fucking peppermint schnapps and shit. You might get busy and drinking and stuff. I'm not worried about that. The peppermint stops?

Oh yeah. We would drink anything, huh? Like when you're young, you'll, like, I remember drinks. Whatever you're your hands on. Yeah. But this is a prom where there's, where it's not, it's more than likely that this is going to be alcohol, right? I mean, for special needs kids?

Is it old special needs? Yeah. Oh, no, no, no. In the car, it's just special needs kids. Right, but the problem itself is going, there's going to be doobies. There's going to be. Spike in the punch and shit. I mean, it's quite possible, right?

Like, there's going to be other children there, right? There's going to be other kids there, yeah. I mean, I don't think they're going to be openly smoking weed or openly drinking. I mean, or offering it to say, you should be pretty surprised. What, you're some kind of fucking nerd? Yeah, I mean, I'm sure there's going to be doobies and booze. There always is a problem. Yeah, you can't.

I mean, you can't stop it. No. They'll get it in somehow. They're going to sneak it in. That's booze in my problem. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, we brought boo.

I remember Apple, what was it? The Apple schnapsy, the delicious orchard shit that they make. I can't remember. Oh, Apple Jack? Apple Jack, yeah. Couldn't remember what it's called. Yeah, Apple Jack. I remember Teddy's going nuts, scratch.

that leather couch. Digging for those blue jukewarmers. Oh, he's so cute, though. You're talking about me? What are some of your prom memories of you? So what's like one thing that stands out as like, I'll never forget this happened on my prom? Getting in a lot of shit because I suggested pulling a switcharoo with another couple.

Yeah, I was in the limo and I was like, I mean, we could, you know. Even in high school working their manual. Yeah, I was trying to work it. I was trying to work it. But yeah, nobody was down. Everybody was aghast. Yeah, it was, you remember Scott Schmeadz? Barely.

Yeah, he would play basketball with us and stuff. Him and Leanne Voorhees, they were a couple at the time. And me and my now deceased girlfriend, Bev. Would she die from? A car crash, I believe. Yeah. I remember when that happened. You weren't weirded out, but you were like, oh, that's unusual.

Yeah. It was kind of strange. I'm like, wow, she's gone. She's never apologized to me now. were there She's unfinished on this earth She's in the

Specter realm now Never to apologize Now those were pretty straight-laced Kids Did even they dabble in the Doobies and Booze? I didn't have any dubies at the time But they did dabble in the booze

Even the straight-laced kids And that was the day They let their hair down Yep Not straight-laced that day No And that's sad though Like you go through your whole

you fucking walk this straight and narrow. Then you cut loose once and you're done. Most people see it that way. You were disciplined that whole time and then you just couldn't fucking make it through. You just had to fucking cave. Had to have some fun. Yeah.

I had to. Stupid kids. Stupid. The The universe fucking has a way of like, like, of smacking around nice guys. Like, I was being a nice guy when I offered to go to the prom with your sister. In that window between me saying, like, she, that she needed a prom date. And before the, and the actual prom, she had hooked up with the guy who would become her eventual husband.

Like, she didn't, she didn't meet him. before I said I would go to the prom. Right. And so... You got no, no, no. It was a sight as like... No, I got puss. She should have...

Like, I don't remember. Like, why didn't I just step away then? Like, I don't understand why, like, there was no need to care. Like, she wanted to go. No, no, I agreed. Weedy, right? And... Did she want to go with Wheatie?

I mean, I don't even know. She would remember. Because she came... I remember her telling me of your house one time, that didn't have to do it. And... You should take the hint. I don't... Yeah, and I didn't know.

Like, I didn't realize that was the reason why until I think the day of the prom that, like, that she had had had a boyfriend. And I was just like, oh, I felt so stupid. Huh. Again, just being, like, too nice. Like, I got a really, like, fucking jerk it up. That was a very nice thing to do. That sounds weird. That sounds weird.

I got a really big start going back to her. I was just, like, an asshole. Hmm. Oh, you hadn't? Yeah. Yeah, like, the universe doesn't fucking pay back people who are nice. It really does. I don't know.

You got people reaching. out and there's an outpouring of love for you. Yeah, that's true. But yeah, I should have fucking step back and, yeah, I shouldn't have taken her to the prom. Then we couldn't her could have went to the prom together. Did you pay for the bid? Maybe I can get some of the money back.

I think that, what's the bid? Like the 50 bucks or 60 bucks or however much it cost to get in, the ticket. I think, I think your sister paid for it. Probably. I paid for the tux. But you Edgar paid for it. Yeah, you paid for the tux? Yeah. I think you drove me to get the tux. I didn't have, I didn't have, I didn't

have a license then? I must have then, yeah. Lecturing you the whole way, you'll touch my sister. She's virgin, you know. She's cherry. That's below the neck. It's cherry.

Oh, my God, it's 216. I got to go. My heart out. Yeah, it's right. You got a hard out. All right. Tell them, oh, sorry. You're there you. No, I was going to say we got to go do pictures. meet with other parents and all kinds of stuff. But I thought you weren't going, no. No, I'm not going in the limo.

Oh, you're following the limo? Yeah, I'm going to follow the limo. Oh, okay. So basically you are going now. Kind of going. Yeah, right. I'll just go there to watch her walk in, and then hopefully she'll be able to, because last year she wanted to leave early, so I had to drive all the way over there and get it.

Where is that? This year, it's in, uh, mammoth beach. It's in, it's about, it's, it's, the ocean resort or something like that. One of those places. Yeah, a place right on the ocean. I'm sure it's nice. Last year it was in the Berg. Really?

Yeah. It was pooring rain though last year. It sucked. You got a nice day today. Yep. It's all good. It's all good. Yeah.

Prom. Can't wait. Tell them, Steve, Dave.