Tell Em Steve-Dave - #681: Moleman

Episode Date: June 22, 2026

Bry goes dancing, World Cup, Sage graduates, GRIT, DoorDash Diaries, TESD’s untimely references, Diaper wearing fans, sexy teachers. theperfectjean.nyc - Code:TESD15, Harrys.com/TESD, bluechew.com Promo code TESD https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/tesd

Hey, Walt here with just a quick little announcement before the show starts. I want to first thank everyone who messaged me since the episode dropped where I mentioned I was door dashing. The amount of supportive emails I received really blew me away, and I received so many. I just couldn't keep up with them. It's really, really heartwarming to realize how many people care. And a lot of those emails were requested by art commissions from me. I read them all, but I didn't answer any of those emails. I guess because I don't want to disappoint anyone. There were so many, and I'm working on my comic book that I wrote and drew, and I have like 30 pages left, and I really, really want to finish it. And if I start to take on

commissions before I finish the comic, I fear I'll never get back to it. But after I finish the 30 pages, I'm going to probably start to take on art commissions. But I'll make an announcement on the show when I'm ready to start doing that and how it will work. I really just don't want anyone to feel slighted if I didn't get back to you regarding these commissions. And the other announcement was regarding some upcoming Patreon releases. I thought maybe I should try to hype the shows we're doing on there a little more. So this week is the return of old-timey radio. There's a small but loyal listener base for this show.

So it's coming back this Tuesday. And the following Tuesday is the debut of a new game show I came up with called Daddy's Boy. I'm really excited for this one, as it's really unique as well as fun and maybe even a little tender. And for the first episode, all tiers will be getting the video. So if you're not a subscriber, I really think if you sub this month for only five bucks, you're going to get the new show Daddy's Boy, as well as literally hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of other shows at your fingertips. All right, that's all I got for this week. Let's get started on the new TSD.

Look at the soccer players. They're all fucking super fit, hot young dude. And I've become basically a living human mole. No, no, no, I'm a fruit. I'm not looking at you. Tell him, Steve, Dave. Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave. I'm going to go around the table.

Get him. How you stanking? Walt Flanagan. How you stanking? And, of course, BQ. Hello, hello. Who, very impressed, came down here because he likes to be here as opposed to doing it via Zoom. He does.

And we're doing this on a Saturday, on a sunny day when the beach traffic is high. I was going to ride the motorcycle down because then you kind of, you know, skirt it a little bit, but then I saw, it was really only 20 minutes normal, more than normal and I'm listening to some books on audio, so I was like, fuck it, it's all sitting traffic, I'll listen to some books. Yeah, use the time wisely.

Use it wisely, man. A little long time in the car? You prefer audio books over? No. No, I much prefer reading. I only listen to audio books I've read already. Yeah, okay. Yeah. I can't remember last the audiobook I listened to. You know it's those dungeon crawler car ones? They're so fucking good.

I've heard that. Yeah. I just, I enjoy reading them. Yeah. No, no, I'm with you.

I normally do, but I can't read and drive, but. Yeah. There is a ground swell of support for me in Dungeon Kara, Dundra car car. Yeah. Well,

one guy. I mean, the fact that there's like another person of planet who doesn't like it. I'm like, yeah, you're right. I mean, I don't think it's for everybody.

Yeah. You see, they just announced a TV show. Oh, really? Peacock. Really? I mean,

just reading that book, I'm like, has really lends itself to media in every form. I don't know how they're not doing it as an animated series. Like, it's seen, live action seems expensive, but hey, fuck it. Are you worried that once it becomes

then a massive, massive hit where the... I think it already is a massive hit. It's not the cult, the character that you fell in love with. I don't think it, well, the series will be over by the time that they make the show. There's only two books left and he's already written one of them, so no, but it's like, it's already a massive hit.

It's a massive hit, yeah. I think you're right to like, what, like a chapter a week? He's a fucking maniac. He's like Brian Lynch. He just writes and writes and writes. I know if you're on the Patreon, you get every chapter as he writes it. Yeah,

I think he's already ahead of the next book, yeah, which is cool. I was wondering if they might do it like real life with mixed like animation, CGI in. Oh, well, yeah. Yeah, that would make a little more. It's like every movie today.

Yeah, yeah. But anyway, yeah. So your buddy guy, some guy. Some guy on Twitter. He was like, yeah, I couldn't get into it either, till Quinn. Yeah, I got, I hear you, bud. There you go.

What are you going to do that? There you go. We did some Patreon stuff yesterday. How to go? It went really well. We went dancing. I just wanted to thank Joelle for setting that up, 13% her. All right.

Very nice of her. Yeah. Was she there dancing with you? She was there dancing with us. Well, me, yeah. Yeah. I was cutting the rug. But you danced at your wedding.

You did a pretty good job. You know what? I don't know if she was just saying it. Well, you may have a better gauge, but she said I didn't do too bad. I agree with that. I don't think you did too bad at all. It was... Not too rigid.

No. No, not at all. It was a very fun afternoon. They couldn't have been sweeter, the ladies at the dance studio. Oh, cool. Yeah, they were really nice. I like nice people. They allowed me to take Teddy, and they just fawned over Teddy.

Teddy was exhausted from all the attention. They really were like, yeah, he was the star for sure. That's nice. I remember those days. I got Teddy to contend with you. I don't want to try anymore. Yeah, it was very nice of them. I thought that I would have looked like I had rigor mortis or something, but now not the case.

No, I remember your wedding, like, because you didn't tell any of us that you were, you guys had done the dance, a disco type dance. Boogie Nights dance, yeah. And then when you started doing it, I was legitimately like, wow, man, look at him go. He's moving. Yeah. Yeah. Look at me. I might have a hidden talent.

I never realized because I was always too, too self-conscious to go out there and dance, you know. I'm sure we all do. Yeah? We all have hidden talents. Some hidden talent that hasn't been exploited. Just because we're, how much is ever of your day does every single person on a planet spend feeling like they're a piece of shit? I'm assuming it's, yeah, I'm assuming everybody feels that way most of the times. I couldn't have felt more like a dinosaur because I was, I spent the night before trying to bone up on my dance knowledge so I could drop some nuggets of.

Really? Some jokes and stuff. How'd you do that? What do you mean how'd I do it? Well, what was you stunning? Well, you know, I just kind of. watching Fred Astaire routines and shit? No, I just kind of went in my head.

I was like, all right, there's this I know, and I'll make this maybe comment. But all my jokes fell so flat because, like, the world of dance has passed me by in terms of, like, I dropped the Bob Fossey joke. And nobody knew what the fuck I was talking about. I was laughing.

I mean, I agree with you. It is unusual that a dance school doesn't know. You would think that there would be a picture of Fossi on the wall. No, they were playing music that I had no recollect. I couldn't tell you. It was Pitbull and Cardi B. I think they did it. Or it was Pitbull and then Cardi B and somebody else. I was dropping peaches and herb.

They're just going over everybody's head. It was just like launching scuds. They were knitting nothing. He just all fell in the ocean. Yeah. I was going to reference Helza Poppin and the Lindy Hoppin up like After I saw Walt crash and burn I was like I'm not going to mention that

Elza Poppin like a hundred years old Yeah like 1940 or something Like we could have been more ancient to these girls Yeah they're all young And like our Basically we could have been like we stepped out of the 1800s I'd say what? I bet you those girls watch the big scene

from Hells of Poppin. They'd be like, how did they pull this off? They got it. It was the most amazing dancing I think I've ever seen. Yeah. It's great. It's fucking crazy. That is funny. What do we got? Well, so I got here. Oh, fathers did. What we go? Father, I was you guys in the, well, you were in the World Cup fever? You ended at all?

I watched a little bit of Brazil play another team. Yeah. Because get him left the TV on one afternoon when he left the building and I sat and watched it and I could not. Carole. I could not believe how, because Brazil is supposedly one of these super teams, like, the favor to win it, right? Well, they've won the most.

And I still could not muster any excitement for watching it. Nothing really happens. What I found, maybe you can explain to me as somebody who's watched soccer, how is one team, like vastly superior to another team? Oh, faster, younger, quicker? Nobody seems faster, though. Like there is no advantage Like nobody looks faster than anybody else on that field

Oh man When they're running for the ball Both teams get there at the same exact time There's no advantage And I think that's why there's no ability to score Like more than one goal Well didn't Qatar just lose like 6-0 or something? Did they?

I'd like to watch that I'd like to see a little bit of action Like a pounding Well the US game was fucking great Which one was that? Yesterday yeah I watched all three games Dude I had the best day yesterday I sat there.

I had a six-pack of beer. I was just watching the game on my couch alone. It was like the best. I watched all three games. Is USA going to take it, you think? Well, they're fucking advanced around. Do I think they're going to take it? Yes, I do.

You think they're going to win that would be amazing. I fucking, fucking, well, some asshole on Twitter fucking like yelled at me because I, because they were like, you think you know, you think they're going to win? And I was like, what am I? Like, yeah, they might, what do you want me to sit here?

Sit here and watch a game being like, we're going to lose. Yeah, we suck. This is the best the U.S. team has ever been. and, you know, are they going to win? You know, they got a lot of big teams ahead. How many games you have to win to win the World Cup? Oh, God, I don't even know.

You've got to go rounds. Is it like 16 games? Is it? No, I don't think it's that many. I don't know. That's a great question. I don't know. You did ask, Walt, yesterday you were wondering how long it was.

You're like, how long does this last? It's 39 days long, June 11th to July 19th. Yeah. That's a long. Well, let's do it. The Stanley Cup playoffs are longer than that. Are they? Yeah.

Okay. Well, I would say if you would watch Morocco and Scotland yesterday, Morocco, despite Scotland did, and I was hoping they were going to win, but Morocco, like, you would have seen people who were faster than the other team. It was like watching Scotland, some, like one guy, Scotland would get the ball, and then this rocket would come up behind them and just take it. It was fucking nuts. Like, because I didn't see, now, and the team that Brazil was playing when I watched

them was a team that had no chance. Yeah. But they still only did. lost like one nothing so i was like i don't get this because i feel that they're so well even in terms of speed and strength i'm like well that's why no one's able to fucking score more than one goal it's it's a hard to score a goal because even morocco was so much faster than scotland and like they only got one goal you know what i mean it's like just is what it is it's hard to get that in you got all those guys because speed stops mattering when you're

at the end and it's just a school bus full of fucking people standing in front of you know I mean. I heard that the Scotland game was in Boston. Yes. And I couldn't believe this. I heard a report in the radio that bars were reporting that with all the invading people from Scotland, all the fans, that they literally, their taps ran out. I believe it.

They have no beer to sell. So many Scotland's fans came and took over. I heard I have a buddy that was up in Boston for the game. And he's like, the good vibes between the people of Scotland and Boston are unbelievable. Like they, they, every bar you wanted to, they were fun, happy Scots drinking. He goes, it was great. And we loved having them there. The Scots did not win, but they're not out yet.

And they didn't win yesterday. And they still were in a good mood. They're still in a good mood. Yeah, because they're drunk. Yeah, they go to Miami next. And like all these people from Scotland are just following the games through the U.S. But there's something to like, especially the U.S. game yesterday, man, you have not. seen pride in the United States like this since like 2002.

Like everybody, the whole, like Seattle turned out. It felt like people in the United States. And they'd be Australia, right? Yeah. Is Australia a good team? Australia is a good team, yeah. Wow. But you saw, I, we just haven't seen pride in the United States for the past fucking

10 years. We just won the gold medal in hockey, remember in the Olympics? But what happened right away? People were like, they're Trump supporters! Wait, you don't think that's going to happen if they win the World Cup? It's not happening so far. I mean, it looked like, it looked like 2002 there in Seattle yesterday. It was awesome, man.

It reminded me that like, oh, yeah, there are people in this country who still actually love this country instead of just bitching about it all the fucking time. Why are we letting everybody in our own country tell us that we suck? Like, fuck you. Like, fuck you. Look at every country in the history of the world. And then go fuck yourself. And if, you know, I stopped short of being like, get the,

the fuck out, but get the fuck out. I mean, go. If it's so fucking great everywhere else, go there. Yeah, I don't understand that. Like, if America sucks and why the fuck is everybody desperately trying to get in? I don't know. And I'll tell you what, I'm sick of like the fucking, the general direction of everybody's feelings on this country being like it's a bad place.

Fuck you guys. I mean, you know me, I've never given up on the United States. Patriotic to the end. I've been called delusional for my love of the United States, which, by the way, includes the cunts. Right. Because at least they're American cuts.

I've been enjoying watching footage of foreign fans trying American food. Oh, they love it, right? Oh, yeah. Like, I was watching one of this Japanese guy enjoying, like, a piece of, like, a Texas-cooked beef rib. And it was just... Yeah. Like, the look of pure enjoyment on their faces when they're trying this food. It's cool.

And I like that the media has been reporting on it. Yeah. Because half the problem is, like, you could pick up anything up by any handle. And this fucking media has picked up the United States from the... the worst hand. So it's nice that they're actually amplifying people from other countries being like, oh shit, America's awesome, you know? I remember I was years ago, there was a series where they

would give British kids like American food. Yeah. And they were so astounded by actually tasting like real food. Yeah. Oh, real food. Yeah, because they're, well, is that real food. They say that the food over, they say the food over in England is pretty much. It's probably less healthy here. That's for sure, but it tastes better. They say it's very bland and the only

food that actually has taste in England is like stuff that people have brought in. Did they put a lot of vinegar in? Don't they do a lot of Like fries and vinegar or something? Yeah, they put that on their chips. Chips, yeah. I enjoy watching the crowds of the

in the soccer games because it's a lot of times it's like these super hot Latino chicks who have customized their shirts and their boobs are popping out. It's fucking awesome. And I love that the cameramen work in the soccer games are like, find them, show them, they call it the Honey Shot. Every other sport has given up on the Honey Shot. Not soccer.

No. I've seen a lot of honey shots. Soccer's like, come on in, boys. The ward is fine. Yeah, that's because it's not a sport that's constrained by U.S. views on how things should be. Well, it's not like, I think when you think soccer. Like, I don't think America when I like soccer. I think like England.

I think like South America. Yeah. Yeah. They're not giving up the honey shots down there. No way. No. So hot down there. It's all they got.

I know. Their weather. girls are like half naked. That's great. Yeah. It's great. And by the way, like, look at the soccer players. They're all fucking super fit hot young dudes.

So it's not like, yeah, it's not like it's a one-sided thing. Anybody can watch it and be like, hmm, that was good. They all have the same body type. Yeah? Like super thing. Soccer players? But like, you know, there's not an ounce of fat on them. They're running all fucking.

But like, you know, like, this is the body you get when you sit all day. That's the body. watching soccer. But you watch other sports that you'll see a little bit of varying body types, like in football, you know, you got your linemen. Yeah. You know, and you got your linebackers with like these big necks and these tree trunk legs. Yeah.

And you got your wide receivers who are sleek and agile. But in the soccer players, they all have the same body type. Yeah. Like just not an ounce of fucking fat on their bodies. Asses you could break walnuts on. And big, big thighs. they all have. Yeah.

Like very defined thighs. Right on. From, I guess, kicking. Kick and running. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Running back and forth and back and forth.

Yeah. It's a workout, man. It's cool. I went to that Kansas City Courants game last month. And I was like, man, I fucking forgot how much I love watching fucking soccer. And now, like, I threw myself back into the World Cup. It's just been a blast. I think the only soccer game I've ever been to was with you.

I remember we're not in L.A. Yeah, we went to a galaxy. We went to a galaxy game. Yeah. Yeah. I got good pictures of us. Oh, yeah. from that game, yeah.

I'll dig them up. Even in baseball, the body types are different. You had your big hitters, your home run hitters were much bigger dudes. Yeah. And then you had your short stops who were skinny and lean. It's just a different skill set. Like, you know. But, yeah, soccer players all look the same.

They're like, there's no, like, fucking, like, refrigerator Perry out there. Whatever position you're playing, you have to, you have to fucking dash and run and be nimble. Yeah. Perry ain't fucking. We moved like a refrigerator. That's why they called him that. You think if he changed that role and it might get more Americans interested? There's one refrigerator party type guy on each team.

There is footage. I don't if you've ever heard of a hockey player called Ovechkin. No. He's like one of the ultimate. He just broke the record for the most goals in the history of the NHL. Okay. He's record. There's footage of him playing soccer with his home country, Russia, like I guess in the exhibition game.

Yeah. He's not bad, but he literally looks like a dad playing with like 10-year-old. Oh, yeah. With professional Russian soccer players. Because he's so big? He is so massive. He looks like he looks like he was chipped out of ice. His skull is so massive.

Really? Like a caveman they got out to play? It looks like a Neander's all caveman. And they're bouncing off of him. That's great. Because they can't take the ball away from him because he's so huge. Yeah. A lot of hockey players are into soccer because a lot of them from Europe.

Oh, wow. There he is. Look at this. Holy shit. Oh, my God. Oh, this is. great. Oh, that's great.

It looks like if I started playing soccer with kids. Oh, that's great. This is one of the greatest hockey players has ever lived. Look what he's doing out there. I love it. Soccer field. That's crazy. Professional soccer players.

It's throwing them around. I mean, they're bouncing off him. You nailed it. It looks like Andre de Giant, right? Yeah, that's funny. Well, the Australians, they said like, do these soccer, the announcers, the experts are they interview in between, and they have

the halftime shows and stuff like that. They're all foreign guys. They don't give a fuck. They make jokes. It's like it's so much fun to even watch them. They'll make fun of the teams. They even said like halfway through. They're like,

Australia's losing. So now watch how physical they get because these are Australians. And that's like you're like, oh wow, can I even say that? And then the Australians come out and they start knocking everybody around and getting thousands of people. And they're doing like rugby moves on players and the thing. And they're like, that's just what Australians are like.

And I'm like, this is great. We can say things like that. And I knew that they, do they start issuing the cards? Yeah, they start issuing cards. What's the bad card again? What's the worst card? Well, two yellow cards will get you out of the next game. A red card is you're out. You're just out for the...

Yeah, they red carded somebody the other day because they covered their mouth when they... Yeah. There was a racist... There's a new rule, right? Yeah, yeah. So the guy covered the mouth and said something to one of the other players, and they red carded them. Really? Which sucks because...

And then all is... It's weird is it's on video. And then all the teammates come and they're trying to argue with the... Because they even went to the whatever their version of instant replay. is. Yeah, because he did do it. But even the player that he said it to was like, because the reason they did that is because like the trash talking was going into places that made some people cry, I guess.

So now they're not allowed to cover their mouth when talking to members of the other team in an adversarial situation. And this guy said something to the other guy. The other guy pointed out. But even he said, well, it wasn't like a racial abuse or anything. But he just broke the rule. So you got a right part. So you know what this is going to happen.

And like ingenious players will start. taking like ventriloquist lessons so they can throw their voice. So another guy says it. That's what I would do. You could still do it. That's only in a fight. That's how badly you want to insult them. You want to all this a whore.

Yeah. My dad said they only threw out one person at the first game. His dad's working at the World Cup. Oh, yeah? Yeah. You said they only threw out one person. that first game. That's amazing. And then it was like for the next game. But yeah

like football night is. Yeah, that's absolutely. I'm sorry, locked up, locked up. Locked up. Yeah. Okay. But he goes, yeah, normally I've seen the room. Can we mention what your dad's doing? Because I thought it was fucking fascinating. They have them up in a This is crazy. Yeah. They have them up in a room with binoculars

like looking for trouble. God, bird dog and people? Yeah. Oh wow. That's cool. He can make the call though to the snipers that are up there and stay police. Oh, wow. That's pretty cool. But he could be like, you know, take the shot. Where's he working? He's in MetLife.

He has his finger on the button. I'm not allowed to disclose that. Okay. Well, can you disclose whether he can get me tickets? Yeah, he can't get me tickets. Like, to get us tickets for the stadium series.

It was an absolute fucking cluster fuck. He doesn't have that drive to do the tenacity. Yeah, could you imagine that, though? Like, you know, you've just got to watch through binoculars and just watch people to look to see if they're

Honey shot after honey shot. Oh yeah. Hell yeah. God forbid you get caught watching hot shots and somebody's fucking setting off a bomb. What were you doing? Did you see the Brazilian girl? We saw him with MJ in Key West.

Yeah, that's a lot of responsibility though. Yeah. I'm sure he's not the only guy. I mean, the whole city is not his only. Like, does he have one seating section that he's responsible for? I didn't get into the deal as I. How could you not ask these questions? Yeah, that's what I wonder. Your father is fucking...

Well, I'm going to wait until I see him tomorrow. Okay. Like, you know, over the phone, we try to be quick and easy. You know, because you think someone's listening? No, because he usually calls right before he's going to go to bed, and then he starts getting tired, so... You were talking about hockey, Walton, and we didn't give a certain guy who's due, Claude Lemieux. Oh, yeah, he passed away. Yeah, he said, former New Jersey

Devil, Kahn Smyth winner, yeah, he... Offed himself in his furniture store. No. Yeah, that was stunning. How did he do it? I don't know. I don't know if they said. Oh, that's rough.

How old is he? 58. Wow, all that was going on. That sucks. I wonder if there was probably some CTE going on. He played in an era where like. Oh, no helmets. No, he had a helmet, but it still like he took a pounding in his career.

Yeah. Like he he gaged it out, but he also got it too. And I wonder if there might be some CTE issues that might come in pace. Well, it says right here his family has shared that his brain is being donated to the Boston University CTE Center to research the long-term effects. So might not, yeah. That sucks. That's fucking terrible, yeah. You just don't ever think that.

Like, you think he was a fucking hero in New Jersey. You just don't think that, like, what could be wrong? Yeah, one day you're just not going to, like, want to be here. That's crazy. No, he was 60. says he was found hanging at the back of the warehouse. Oh, God. Remember the guy?

By his son. Oh, that is the worst. I would never want my family member to find me. No, that's how you put a note on the door. Yeah. Don't come in. Remember the guy you went at the original stash, the very first stash at 69 Mammoth Street? Yeah, yeah.

There was like a tie-died hippie store right next door. And didn't he hang himself? Yeah, that's right. The hippie guy, yeah. In his store. In the back of the store. And his daughter found him. I never would have

never would have remembered that if you didn't bring that up. That's crazy. Oh, yeah, I remember that. I remember hearing that. He was... I didn't like that guy. He was kind of prickly. Yeah, I didn't like him.

For a hippie? He really was. His main concern was like cars parking in the back of the... He was huge until like you're an inch over on my spot. Yes. Not very hippie like. No, not at all. There are no spots, bro.

It should be cool. Every spot is a universal spot. It should be no parking. It's a human spot, bro. Is any of this working? No? Get the fuck on my fucking parking spot, asshole. I'm paying big money for that parking spot.

No for you to park there. Yeah, I don't want him to kill himself, but he was a surly dick to me. Yeah, he was. He really was. I went to Sage's graduation. Had it go? Was it as boring as regular graduations?

It really was. It was like there was a salutatorian, a valedictorian, and then like a faculty member who all delivered speeches. Yeah. It was almost an identical speech. It was like, believe in yourself, move forward. What the fuck else are they going to say?

I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I've seen some decent ones, but they're usually by celebrities, you know? Do you think there's anybody moved in those countless speeches across the country every June that are given? Do you think that anybody is like... Takes it to heart? Takes it to heart because it just feels like a word salad of like, you know, you can do it. You know, believe in you.

And there's no mountain you can't fucking conquer. Yeah, that was it. Yeah. That was all it. Well, remember Bill Murray and Rushmore? Oh, yeah. Take him it to rich kids and take them down. It's like the best speech.

And then they're like, they give him shit about it. And he goes, fuck it, my name's on the building or something like that. Yeah. There was a, it was, I mean, speaking of like mentioning, like, using terms that people don't really recognize anymore. This one, the faculty member kept saying, like, you have to show. grit. And it's just like, Grit is a word that's not recognized.

I don't think the youth are using grit anymore now. I think they are. I remember it as a newspaper, like in the 70s. I don't know if you're using the word. Yeah, grit. Grind it out.

Yeah, motivation. Yeah. True grit. True grit. Sports, they still use that word. Do they really? A lot. Oh, okay.

The gritty players. And greedy from Philadelphia. Yeah, yeah. I forgot about gritty. Yeah, I was just like, when she said grit, I was like, I wonder how many of these kids are like, oh, I know what grit. Of course, none of them are thinking of the newspaper like you were.

That disappeared for the landscape in 1979. Yeah. Yeah, of course not. Do you remember grit? The word grit? No, the newspaper grit. No. It was probably before your time.

It was only sold by children. Okay. Yeah, you had to order the papers and they would send them to you by mail and it was like this. It was almost like a farmer's almanac type paper, you know. What was the point of it? It was a scam. It was a thing where you had the kids had to buy the papers, and then it was their responsibility once they got them to sell them to their community

and go to door to door. Would you buy grit? What was like an article in grit? It was like a nationwide newspaper that I think that could call other articles that were... Okay, so this is what's going on in the world? Like in other parts of the country. Right. Okay.

That were almost like royalty-free articles that compiled. the newspaper. And only children were supposed to be delivering it. And it was a lot of comic book ads were devoted to Grit. Nice. Yeah. It says Grit was historically famous as America's greatest family newspaper. A weekly rural publication founded in Williamsport, Pennsylvania in 1882, famous for its

nationwide network of boy door-to-door salesman. It transitioned into 2006. It's a modern bi-monthly lifestyle magazine. Is it still going on? When did it finally close its? It remains active, continues to celebrate country lifestyles. How would you even get it? That's probably digital now.

Probably, yeah, digital now. Oh, yeah, you're right. Grit. Yeah, that's the first thing I thought of. No, it's a magazine. Does grit have a, is an acronym or is it just, is a G-R-I-T stand for something? Or is it just truly just? Maybe they saw them, or they read the book True Grit and more likely.

It could be, yeah. No, it doesn't say it's an acronym for anything. Yeah. An upbeat rural title. Good. We need upbeat. Yeah, some good articles, you know. Yeah.

Not all this like downer and shit every time you open up the paper. It's a downer. I was talking about how I felt old yesterday, some of my references. I even felt even older because after we left last week, I investigated to see if Masters of the Universe was on my VC box. Okay. And it was.

Yeah. So I started watching it on your recommendation. And I'm watching it. And it starts out. And immediately, opening minute, I'm like, huh, this is an odd choice. I'm going because it's just very cheap looking. Like these two villains are talking and the dialogue is really bad. And I'm like, and then it cuts to another scene where like there's outer space.

And I'm like... Did he dungeon Carl? Did he dungeon Carl? You're watching the old version? No. And then it cuts to, like, I guess, is the prince out of him. I'm like, oh, it's weird. He doesn't have blonde hair.

I'm going, you know, he's got brown hair. And he pulls out. And he doesn't have a sword. He has an axe. And I'm like, I'm like a half hour into this. I'm like, I cannot fucking believe. I cannot believe that he may hasn't shown up or skeletor hasn't shown up. And I'm like, this dialogue is so bad.

I'm going, what the fuck is wrong with Q? I'm going, this is insane. I go, I cannot believe how horrible this is. Okay. And then I'm like, finally, I'm like, finally, I'm like, I go, what the fuck is this? And I hit the back button. And it was one of the, it was called Master of the Universe.

It was one of those like fake, like, oh, like an asylum type. Yes, it was an asylum. It was a new one? It was a brand new. It looks like, it looks like the poster of Master of the Universe looks like he man to me. So I'm like, oh, this has got to be it. Okay. So, yeah, I was so, I'm so old to the point now I get fooled into thinking like these fake movies are the real movies.

Mark Busters. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Master of the universe. 1.9 out of 10. 1.9. I watched it for like a half hour before I realized I was watching the wrong movie. Okay.

Did you find the right one or it's on there? The VC box has, I think people are cracking down. There's not a lot of... Yeah, well, you haven't kept the lid on it. I mean, you're doing your part to let everybody know about it. Yeah, they haven't gotten any new, like, camcorder movies. Okay. Yeah, but yeah, I still haven't seen the real masters on the universe yet, but the asylum one, yeah, I wouldn't recommend it.

No. Don't waste your time. How often do you feel a disturbance, like in the force? Like, I'm reading the book you recommend, I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with Q? Well, it's watching the movie. What the fuck is wrong with Q? Like, do you're like, oh, somebody's talking about me? I mean, people have been talking about shit about me.

I'm used to it. Oh, do you have any DoorDash stories this week? Well, to get them came up with a jingle for you. Really? Let's hear it. All right. All right. You ready?

Yeah. Tell us about it. Dash Diaries. What is Scrapple anyway? Dash Diary. Authorize a hemp bag. Dash Diaries. A little long.

I need to see your IDs. Dash Diaries. Very sultry. Yeah, very sultry. Which is good because I only have two stories. They're not even really all the stories. But it was interesting, though. So, have ever heard of a place called Pliables?

Yeah, sure. We shoot that. We just shot there the other day. They just sell like fruit, right? No, no, they do like, uh, like, uh, fruit drinks. They do bowls of like, um, what's that healthy shit? Fruit. No, they do that as well.

There's quinoa bowls. Yeah, they're like, um, yeah, we, we shoot there like once a season. Those guys, they actually a fun company to work with. Acai, uh, A's Aisai balls, yeah. So I get an order. They're two separate orders at the same pliables. And it's right around the corner. and they're going right around the studio,

the TSD Town Studios. It's on Highway 36. It's on a business. And I'm like, okay. And it's on the opposite side of the studio. And I'm looking around for it. I'm like, where the fuck is this place? Turn out it was fantasies.

Oh, really? Yeah. Oh. But it's like 2 o'clock in the afternoon on a Wednesday. Spending the tuna salad. They were reading on stage last time. Yeah, really. So I take the one order into the place, and I've never been in there.

So I don't know what to expect. Who are you with at the time, or is it just you? No, I was, Deb was there. She's not going in, though. No, but I don't know if she's like, you're not going in there. Well, what did she get? It's going to turn down the $17. So I go in and I've never been in there.

And it was so fucking dark in there. And my eyes couldn't adjust because I just went in. from the sun. So I'm like, I'm like, well, at least I'm going to get a, not only a fucking tip, I'm also going to get a fucking free. Free rifle. Lap dance. Yeah, well, a little fringe benefit. And, but I can't see anything, though, as I walk in because my eyes just will not adjust to the fucking lighting.

So I can't like. So I'm like, oh, fuck, you've got to be kidding me. Like, I'm not even able to sneak a peek at nothing. So some lady walks up, and because I need a PIN number to give it to her. And, um. That means she's fucked up too many times, right? If you need a PIN number, it's like... I don't know why that, like, I guess if you report you didn't get something...

Too many times, right. Yeah. I think that they've enforced that, like, oh, if you want to order anymore, you're going to have to give the driver a PIN number so they could prove we dropped it off. Right. So to me, immediately, as this lady comes over to me, she's not wearing a bikini. She's wearing, like, um, lingerie, like a one-piece lingerie. Okay. Go on.

And I immediately revert back to like a goofy 10-year-old boy who's just like, oh, man, all shucks. That's your pile, bowl. Your pig number 69-69. I barely can keep it together. Like, I'm trying to be composed. It's so funny. I've got no fucking stupid.

It's like a fucking gomer pile. Like, R here, here. She's probably 25 and high out of her mind. Right. Yeah. She's all fucking, yeah. I was thinking of weed. Yeah.

And Waltz is like, uh, go, and both of them. And I said, ah, I just need your pin. And she says it.

And she goes, where's the other one at? She's not, she's not very friendly. And she's like, where's the other one at? And I was like, oh,

I go the other orders for also for here? Because one, you don't know that. until you've delivered the first. Yeah, okay. And I was like, all right, I'm like, in my head, I'm like, oh, I get to come back in. Maybe my eyes will have adjusted by that point. You go out to the car closing your eyes, feeling around.

But what happens is I go back outside into the fucking sun, and it's even ten times worse now, and I become basically a living human mole. It's like, my eyes have shrunk now to the size of fucking, Pebbles. And with these chompers, I'm sure I look like a fucking mole. So I go back to the car, I say, I was like, yeah, the other ones for here, too. So that's good. Sure it is.

Sure it is. So I go, so that's good because now we're done with this order after this. And so I go back in and it's even worse now that the sun, like, I'm basically blind. and so I'm like that person is gone now there's only one dude in the whole place like sitting at the bar there's nobody else in the building

Oh hey I mean it is I've never been in there So it's like I was expecting like you know I've seen that Motley crew Girls Girls Girls Girls So I'm thinking like these girls are going to be like You thought it was going to be like an 80s music video

Yes I thought they're going to be like inserting things Right Yeah It was not the case at all Well if you had gone with us when we went last time You would have known. I thought it was going to be debauchery on the stage.

Depression. A strip club afternoon shift. It's not. In the middle of the week. Yeah, it's not Motley crew. Oh, it's a Motley crew, all right. Everybody's just hanging on in that scenario. Oh, yeah.

So the, I don't know what to do because there's no one to address, you know, where, like, who do you get the pin from? I know, unless, and I know it's not the guy sitting at the bar who ordered it, because the name is Sandy on it. Unless, you know, I guess a guy could be called Sandy, but I'm assuming it's a dancer.

Finally, somebody walks over and they are so angry. The girl is just like, she's like, just not in a good mood. Like, today's not the day to fuck around. So I'm like, I'm like, oh, fruit, huh? Oh, you did it. Oh, my God. Melons. She just looked at it, what?

No, no, no, I'm a fruit. I'm not looking at you. I was like, oh, I guess fruit, huh? She just goes 36, 48. Oh, all right. Bye. He's like, this is a playable, not a pliable. Yeah, because you're the first guy in there all day that they don't have to be nice to to make money.

They're literally like, go fuck yourself. She was in such a horrible mood. I can just see it in her face. I don't blame her. Yeah, but it was. How did they tip? I got $17 from both of them, so I guess $8 each. That's not bad.

Yeah, that's actually pretty good, yeah. But, yeah, that was interesting, though. usually you're just going and you're not seeing that. But again, it felt like I was just like my ears were like, I was so embarrassed. Like my ears are turning red. I can feel the burning. Like, I'm fucking, basically like,

if you didn't have food with you, you would have been thrown out like that. Why? You're harassing the girls. You just look too weird. Oh, look at this guy with the red ears. Get them out of here. Oh, shucks.

And then I got a really strange order. I don't know if it was the next day or the day after. I'm supposed to go to CVS and pick up a pair of like pliers. There's like a little tiny hardware section in CVS is where they have like little, like little, not a big selection, but there's just one little plier I'm supposed to get. I go up by it and I get, and then you don't know where you're going. And well, you don't know exactly where you're going. You have a gist of where you're going before you buy it, before you accept it.

But I have to go to Atlantic Highlands. And this is so fucking weird. It's like it's like the note says, I'm in a car at the Atlantic Highlands harbor. Oh. Deliver. Yeah, I need to. That should be easy to find. He says the color of the car and the make of the car.

Okay. And I'm just like, this is weird. Is this guy going to dismember me? with these pliers. Right. Like, what the fuck is going on? It was really strange. I've never had that before where I had to drop it off to somebody.

Was he fixing his car or something? Yeah, that's what I said to, you know, to myself. I was like, he probably needs it to either fixes the car because it's not starting or ever, but. And he has nowhere to go, so he needs someone to deliver the pliers. Yeah. But when I got there, man, I was like, I did not want to drive in immediately. and like I wanted to come out from almost behind and so I could see him

so he doesn't see me if I'm driving in. So I came in a different way because I know, I know a different way I can get in there without him. So like I want to be able to scope out the situation before I start looking for him. And I just see this guy just walking around

like looking in, basically looks like he's looking in cars. Like in a frantic pace. And your fingerprints on the tool. And I'm like, oh my God. I hope this is not the motherfucker. I go, this guy looks like, so fucking sketchy. He looks like he's

tweaking. Like he's just like walking around. He's got his hands on his hips. He's like he goes, he darts one way, and for no apparent reason, he goes back the other way immediately with no like sense of like like he's just randomly moving around. And then I

get a message and I noticed that I want, I get the message. He goes, are you here? He goes because I forgot he could tell that I'm, he could see what I'm at. Oh, you can see in the area. Yeah. And I look and I look up in the message and I see that guy. like I'm looking at, like, walking around tweaking, it's on his phone.

It's like, oh, motherfucker. That is the moment. How did he tip? Not great. Not great. Not great. So I was like, yeah, I'm here. I go, are you outside your car right now?

I think I see you. And he goes, yeah. So I'll be right there. And he comes up to the car like so fast. Like, like, he comes up to the car. It was disarming, though, how quickly he moved up to the car. And I was just like, I just put the flyers out. And I was just like, thanks.

And I'm all the fling on his car. And the other one, I thought it was pretty funny. It was like, it was really dark. And we couldn't find his house. And I'm driving. I'm sitting on the street. I'm going, I cannot find it. And out of the darkness, some guy fucking comes out to the car and kind of, like, startles you.

and I roll down the window. It's like, oh, are you waiting for your Wendy's? He goes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Really weird guy. And so I got to get out of the car because I got to take a picture of it, I told him. So he's waiting for me to take a picture of it, and he sees Teddy in the back seat. And he goes, is that your dog? I'm delivering him.

It was just so like, of course it's my dog, I said. I go, yeah, of course it's my dog. He goes, oh, I don't know if you. was mad that I was delivering with a dog or he was like surprised I was delivering a dog. Oh, like, hey, why is that dog near my food? Yeah, yeah. I don't know if it was kind of incredulous. Like, is that your dog?

But I kind of like, if it's not, could I have him? But that's really it. Not all that engaging, though, for. Pretty good. I don't know. Yeah, but like, it would be pretty wild, though, like, I think that's a, that's one of those fringe benefits you don't really think about in the job where you might get to deliver to a go-go I would have never thought that.

I would have never thought that. My cousin worked in Manhattan and one of, uh, in his area was the hustler club. Oh, yeah. And he's like, once a month we get called there and it would be the best. It's the best. He's like, we were just all going and the girls would all be happy to see us.

And it was always some bullshit alarm they had to reset. He's like, it was just the best. I think you're right. I think that like they see the guy delivering the pliables as not somebody they need to be nice to. Sure, yeah, fuck you. It doesn't seem like DoorDashers take it on the chin, man. You get treated like shit by like the restaurateurs, the customers.

Especially the restaurateurs. They're not happy to have to deal with them. I know that they also, I guess they don't make as much money on the order. Right, right. But in my opinion, it's like, well, they're knocked out then. Yeah, you don't have to do it. And then turn around and act shitty to the people who are helping. You like the amount of, I could just sit at, what's that place called?

Chapulte. Chipotle. I could sit there all day long and get an order eight straight hours because I cannot believe the amount of people who order Chipotle. They love Chipotle. It's just over and over. You walk in to get the one you're getting and there's literally 30 of them waiting to be picked up by somebody else.

That has to be the biggest benefactor to Dorothe. It's just got to be the Chipotle. It's stunning how many people are ordering. And it smells fucking horrific. It smells like body sweat, anything out of Chipoli. It's not that great. It's not that great. You know what the smell I'm talking about?

It smells like sweat. I don't know when the last time I said foot in the Chipotle was, but I don't know. It always tastes. It was decent. Yeah. It's pretty decent. Well, all it takes is 10 minutes of my car and I can't get the smell out. Well, you're a super smeller.

That's true. Yeah. It's true. I'm not. I have mortal senses that are declining after a year. But my daughter's like Chipoli, and they bring it home, we have to defunct the house. Like 15 candles. And I'm like almost to be like, we've got to fucking forbid Chipotle in this place. It's fucking horrendous.

I've only had it once. That was when Brai ordered the wrong one. You ordered it from Red Bank and you're like, pick up. If you want to eat it, go ahead and eat it. Those are the pliers. They only stock. One set of pliers at CVS, I believe. Yeah.

I would be uneasy because I was telling my wife, I was like, I'd be fucking uneasy if Alicia, because Delisha delivers. And I'd be like, if she got an order from some guys, like, I'm in a car down in the harbor. Yeah. Bring me my pliers. You know, and this guy's acting so strong. Yeah, that is weird. You know. But nine, but yeah, like 99 out of 100 orders, like you don't even come into contact with people.

Right. You just drop it off and go off. You just drop it off and leave, yeah. Mm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the way they do it with,

let's normally the way we do it. They just drop it off and go. And they dropped it off after Sage's graduation. We ordered food from Italian place in Atlantic Islands. And they brought it. And before the guy left, I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I was like, this is wrong.

This is wrong. And then I remembered what you said. And I was like, well, fuck it, what am I telling him for? Right. So I called a restaurant. Turned out I was wrong. So I'm really glad I didn't make a big deal about it. So glad.

I was like, what the fuck's about it with you? Oh yeah, every time that I have a screen that pops up, can you verify the customer's order? I hit no because I don't want to be responsible for it. I'm not supposed to open the bag anyway. Yeah, they're taped shut. Yeah, they're sealed. But there's some that aren't taped shut that I could easily be like I can verify it. Yeah.

But I don't because I'm like, I'm not taking it on responsibility. If fucking now I'm responsible, it's like I could just easily hit no, I can verify and I'm fucking Scott free. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, fuck it. Then it's not on you. Yeah. That's the way I want to fucking do it.

Not on me. It's not my fucking bitch. Now, what happens if you delivered to the wrong address? You'll get a, you'll get, like, knocked down. You'll face a, like a, you'll get it like, I guess what's called, like, not a strike, but you'll, you'll get, it's a reflection on your record. Okay. What does the record really do? It, supposedly, if you get to a certain status, you get higher paying offers.

Okay. I see. But I don't know if that's really true. Because we're Debbie lives. She's at, you know, 65 Main Street. There's another 65 Main Street, a quarter mile down the road. So they get them confused. It really shouldn't happen.

That used to happen to me, too, when I lived on Main Street. But it really shouldn't happen because the app will not allow you to start the process of ending the order unless you're there at the right address. Like, I've been like two inches on the wrong way and says I'm not really at the right address. and I have to walk a little bit over more and then finally I can see. So there's really, that person who just left it there is just like, just gave up. It happens all the time. Like I go out in the morning to leave and there's a, there's groceries sitting on their front porch.

And by that point in time, they've probably been sitting there an hour or so because they don't have a time on it. So we just bring them in, throw them in the fridge. But it's just, it's insane how often it happens. Yeah, really. Well, it's, no, it's, it's fine. Okay. Now that you're an insider, I can ask you. Yeah.

the priority delivery. Is it bullshit? I don't know what that even means. It's not bullshit. Well, he answered this. Because they don't even see the orders. You answer this already. They can't see the next order.

So they don't have to... So priority bumps it to the top of that list. Priority might mean that they will not include your order with another order from that driver. That that driver will only be responsible for your order. So they don't have to stop at another place. And they don't have to stop at another address that might be before you. on the way. So that doesn't work out for you then because you would like to deliver two or three on

the way, right? Depends. It really depends because, like, there's some places like you just don't even want to, like you don't want to go into Red Bank. It sucks. Oh, yeah. Because there's nowhere to park. And so, yeah, it really just depends on the day.

But, yeah, like Red Bank, it blows. Yeah. Yeah. And I didn't realize there was priority. You could pay extra to have it. Three dollars, yeah. Three. Yeah.

It's like a dollar. And that goes probably, I'm sure, all directly to doors. I can't imagine the driver gets any of that. I didn't do it for the longest time and then I did it a couple of times and I was like, I got to do it every time because it just comes right. Instead of watching the car drive all over the fucking. You follow it too, right? Yeah, I'm like, why the fuck are they in Tottenville right now?

It's like, if you were to monitor my fucking serendipitous route sometimes, you'd be like, what is with this fucking lunkhead? Because me and my wife have a problem. See the strip club right now? We cannot figure out the difference between 300 feet and 3 inches. We think that like it would turn in 300 feet. Turn here! And we turn.

Oh, fuck, we're going a wrong way. I can attest to this. Yeah. We hear turn at 300 feet. We're like 300 feet. That's like right now. We missed it. We just passed it.

So there are so many times, right? turn too quickly and then get stuck where I can't go back. I have to go all the way down to take a U-turn. Cursing. Oh, yeah. Jersey's rough on that. Oh, yeah. So that's why sometimes you'll see like the family circus route of Billy.

Right. Try to deliver the door to door damage. Family circus fucking drop in references. Right. Nice. Nice. I like it. I got it.

I used to love those ones. Well, when Billy was. Yeah. Yeah, you'd open up the Sunday paper and it'd be like that bottom panel. And you just see the dots. You're like, oh, yeah, I get to follow him. I imagine you were much like a Billy when you were a young boy. Could have just go directly home, yeah, got distracted and shit.

Yes and no, because, like, I lived across the street from a school. So, like, that's where you would go and play, like, in the playground. So, like, it was straight across the street. Yeah. It wasn't, like, a long way to get home. Still didn't take the circuitous route, though, huh? No. Because usually when I was going home was to go and eat, so.

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They just up on the backs of them. Yeah, exactly. They get all shredded. Yeah. Who wants jeans like that? Gross. Gross. Exactly.

Dad's body has changed. That's just life, but his jeans haven't changed with it. So he keeps wearing them to a Father's Day brunch, to a graduation, to every occasion where somebody's going to take a photo and he's going to be in it. And every time there's the quiet unspoken thing, he could look so much better.

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Oh, yeah. Walt accused me wearing skinny jeans. Right in front of the girls. Right in front of the girls. You want to look hip. Yeah. You want to look hip. I thought I was going to do like, like Walt decided, like I thought I was going to do some ballroom dance.

Maybe some like mock steps and shit. No, we were doing street dancing. Yeah. They didn't even fucking recognize Tony Manero. No. Really? Wow. That's... I mean, the dancing game has changed.

It's a young person's, you know, hobby now. Wow. What type of dance are you doing that? Hip hop. Yeah. Street dancing they call it. Hip hop's been around, like dancing. It's been around for 20-something years too.

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This is nice. I like this. Yeah, I like it too. It's like a Moroccan soccer player. Who is your, like, who would you, like, compare yours to what's, what major star athlete are we talking about? Derek Jeter. Hele. Pahle.

Manupil. Does that reverse upside down kick? The bicycle kick? Yeah. I don't think you're, I don't even think you're fucking, your toenail clippings. You clip them. could fucking do a bicycle clip.

You're a limply fall to the floor. They crumble. It's like dust in the air. Let alone, your pecker just going to fucking go head over heels. I think it would lose consciousness. All the blood would rush to your feet.

Immediately go flaccid. That's Pele. What is it? Pele now. Not Pele back then. What's Pele? Yeah, right.

It's time to make your bedroom noisy again. Nothing says, hello neighbors, like a bedpost, knock against the drywall at 2 a.m. Who doesn't want to hear that? I'm sure, you've been in a myriad of hotels. So many hotels. You must have heard people back. Oh, it happens more than you think. Yeah?

Yeah. Yeah. past. It's pretty cool. I like it. I don't mind it. I'm like, oh for it. I like that they're, doing it, and they don't care that I can hear. You know, they're enjoying their lives. Yeah, they're getting it done, doing their own thing. The last time getting my head over heels. We're watching a concussion. We're watching a video of get them at the backyard Olympics, falling down into a hole. They're like, nothing happens. You just fall.

There's a hole there. Out of all the friends I have, like, and I've known Walt for 50 years, years. I've seen Ginoff fall more than anybody else I know. Eventually, that's going to hurt real bad. What do we got here? It's amazing that it was caught on camera so perfectly. And when I saw it happen, I was like, oh, dear God, please, I hope that's on camera. Not.

I hope he's okay. I got to show us to my insurance agent. Remember when you were young and getting hard was easy? you could look at one page of Good Housekeeping or a shapely tree stumping. Good housekeeping. Wow. Remember reading grits? Good housekeeping?

I guess so. The least sexy of all magazines. You grow up in an age without the Internet. It was, if you had cable, you were lucky, but either found a playboy in the woods. Yep. Right. But good housekeeping was not something that I remember looking to. Yeah.

That was a go-to. Like, man, I'm feeling, I'm feeling Honory. I'm feeling a little randy. Get my mom's good housekeeping. Let me page through these recipes first. You're the saucy tart cleaning those windows. Yeah, exactly.

Oh, Betty Crocker. You go for like the Sears catalog. Not even that. Okay, okay. Maybe in the brazen underwear, yeah. Maybe. But even then, like, back then, those bras under, it wasn't like Victoria's Secret.

It was like everybody had grandma. Yeah. Good housekeeping. That's wild. Yeah. So we're talking about blue chew gold, which is better sex in the tablet to combine four, one ingredients into a powerful solution. The two ingredients get you hard physically and two support arousal and desire in the brain. It works fast and last.

Guys, have the complete experience in the bedroom with blue, chew gold. Now, it plays with your desire levels in your brain. That's what they're saying. So let's say it's like maybe you're out of the club. at the end of the end of the night. Yeah, you know, you got your, you know, the slim pickings, you know, you got to make a choice real quick. And maybe she's not as desirable as slim as you'd like. As you were hoping for when the night began, but, you know,

standards down and down. And so you pop the blue show and all of a sudden you're, you find everything more desirable. Is that what they're saying? That's something like she looks like Barbara Eden. And the genie outfit. Nice. Master. Wow.

Wow. Blue chew gold It's going to fucking help you out It's going to put you in the mood Guys have a complete experience in the bedroom With blue chew gold You can't be dropping Barbara Eden When you're with your other friends

Right? You've only dropped those here This is where I learned it This is where I keep it There's no way That was for you guys You're boys in Yeah we're looking at some

old Sears catalog broads. They're very pointy. Yeah, they're not the miracle bras of today. I think we have to stop doing that, though. What? I think we have to make it conscious ever to stop going after such small, narrow windows of jokes like, call like that. I think I'm thinking about maybe if we should hire an 18-year-old to sit here with us and not interject, but just hand us notes of jokes. and references

that we could use in the show. Like if somebody who's like 18 in that area live in Jersey, maybe we'll try it out for one episode, you just slip us like very current, trendy celebrity. So like when you're trending on TikTok or something.

Yeah. So when Q breaks out the Barbara Eden joke, you know, he could be counter it with. Counter it with like this is what you should have said. Shut up. I think Q can do that though. I think that I don't think this is for you so much Q as me and Brian.

Yeah. We went to do, when we did Patreon yesterday, Rupert came with us. And he even said he's like, and this is a guy who's steeped in media. Like, he knows his shit. And he was just like, I didn't know what you guys were talking about when you were talking about taxi. Oh, really? Yeah. Which is like, that's not that long ago.

Oh, wait a second. It's like 50, 60 years ago. I think we might be losing listeners the more we embrace the past like that. And like, and if we're dropping gold that we think is gold, it's fool's gold. It's only gold. It's all it's high right. It's only goal for me and bribe. But, like, yeah, for the listener base, I think, you know, give it a shot.

Maybe, if you're 18 and you want to sit in and be our, like, our Jackie Martlin. Well, I would do, like, 18 to, like, 22, 20, you know what I mean? Like, yeah. All right, let's open the window up. We'll open the window up. 18 to 28, 28? That's a 10-year window. 28's too old.

Yeah. Yeah, it's too old. Yeah, I think 22. Yeah, 22, 23. Okay. To be on the bleeding cutting edge. Yeah. I want somebody who's going to be like, you know, like when you say, you know, she's as hot as Barb Reed and like he introduces like somebody who's hot on TikTok now.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. No, I even, I even know that. No, I want somebody even more. We got to be like who? Yeah. Does the name like Olivier Rodriguez mean anything to you?

No. No. Okay. I don't even know if I said their name right. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I'm just trying to write.

That's like the high. I listened to two young kids talking about that. The young kids. They were 25. Talking about it the other day. Let's see this Olivia Rodriguez. Olivia Rodriguez, sure. Yeah.

Oh, that's that it? Olivia Rodriguez. What is she famous for? She's a singer, huh? Apparently, I'm hearing a lot of good things about her, that she's going to, like, she's like a big thing right now. Yeah. Or here she is. Oh, she's young.

She's really young. 23. Okay. Yeah. That's what I do. Like, I'll see something online. I'll be like, who the fuck is this asshole anyway? And I'll look it up.

They got fucking 5 million Instagram followers. He's got, he just passed it 41 million followers. She's got, oh, my God. Yeah, I want to eradicate my way of my pop culture references. I want to go, I want to embrace. Why? Because that's how we're, that's how we're going to get. But somebody's got to keep it alive.

Somebody's going to keep the gamble burning. I read this the other day and it made me think of Jimmy. Let me quickly read the end of the show. Well, there's no appreciation for it, I don't think, other than like the for a few in this room. Okay. I don't know. Like, again, Rupp told us. He was like, yeah.

I mean, you guys are just like every week you guys are further and further away from anything I have a frame of reference for. Well, keep up. Keep up, Rob. It's not keeping it up, though. You're slowly fossilizing. Right before everyone's eyes. Can't move my arm. Fossilized.

Can't move my other arm. Basically, like, Beatles and Amber. Before we get into this, Olivia Rodriguez, which is very interesting. There's a reason for Blue Choose the number one brand for Ben, Better Sex, experience it for yourself at bluechew.com. And here's a special deal right now when you get two months of Bluechew gold. You'll get the third for free with promo code T-E-S-D. That's promo code T-E-SD.

You'll also receive an additional 10% off free overnight shipping on your first order. So visit Blu-Tru.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Blue Choo for sponsoring the podcast and the bedroom. And I also want to make clear, though, that like if I do take a young person on to sit in and just feed us timely references, it's not a page. position. Intern? Yeah, yeah. I like that.

And it could develop it like if the episode really hits and people are like, I love this new, you know, fresh, you guys are so hip. Hip. Current TSD humor. Then we could talk maybe, you know, financial compensation. Sure. Well, okay, we're going to talk about something that all the kids today can relate to. And that's Olivia Rodrigo saying that her fans who wear diapers in the front row smell.

So you can smell their poopy pissy smell. now who are her fans are she's talking about babies or she's talking about old people like fans who have to wait maybe long periods of time they don't want to give up their spot so they just wear the diaper like the people go to New York City

and like on New Year's Eve and once you get at that fence you can't move like eight hours that's oh my God so she can smell their shit and piss from this which means you can definitely smell it in the crowd but she oh fuck yeah she reveals she has smelled diaper wearing fans that shows

I'm sorry though like if if the Ants. Jimmy were to, like, they wanted to wear a diaper just to, like, meet me, have the opportunity to meet me, I could not call them out on that. I would be like, I would just ignore it. Well, I think the difference. I would be on. Super Smeller like, yeah. I would be, I would be tough, but I would be, I would not call it out to the press. Yeah, because the amount of fans that. Oh, yeah, it sounds right there. Yeah. Just a holder place. Would be, you'd be calling out someone specific. She's playing to stadiums and arenas. She's not. You don't think that like that. We would have. We would have. like 100 in the front row. I think somebody would be like, who's the wannabes?

Or something like that. All wearing diapers? Yeah. Too easy to pinpoint. Where with this, it's like, you know, 15,000 people in Ohio.

I'm not a fan of her calling out those fans. Oh, they're willing to put diapers on just to not lose their seat. That is dedication. Yeah, that's the kind of shit. Yeah, Richard Christie used to do that

at Coheed and Cambridge issues. Yeah, but he took his dings for it. I don't think he should be able to behave like expect to just get away with it. No, that's why I said the title of the article. It was like, should we bring shame back? Yeah. I,

who's actually doing number two, though, in the diaper? I could see having to do number one. Right. Because it'll get... You're called her a liar? Because it gets absorbed by the diaper. But number two, it's just going to sit there the whole time. You're going to feel it.

It gets your body. But what if your favorite songs? What if you're in the middle of your favorite Olivia Rodriguez song? Okay, so at Kiss. Yeah. And I'm like, hey, man, you have to sit here for 48 hours, but you can get, you can be able to get blood on you from Gene. Yeah. When Paul's shaking his money maker, you know, you'll get sweat on you, you know, when ACE is fucking tripping out, you know, you'll be able to, um, get.

Throw up on you. I mean, the price is you can't leave the spot. You have to wear, you know, if you have to go to the bathroom, you have to do it in your pants. I assume that the kiss is wearing diapers at this point. A boss stage. Smelling the shelf. Yeah. I don't know if I could do it.

I don't know if I could actually go to the bathroom at least number two and just... Could you physically do it? Yeah, because I would be like, it would be so uncomfortable. I don't care how much I enjoyed the band. Yeah, I agree with you. I would think by now they've got it down to like a science. Diapers? No, no, no, like performing, like, you know, knowing when to like, you know, cut off like drinking and stuff.

Well, I think even Rush takes an intermission now. They're like, we're old. We've got to go back. I've got to hit the head and get a drink. What's this I hear about? coming back. Like, Rush is getting popular. Oh, yeah.

They're coming back and they have a female drummer. Young people have discovered Rush and they're loving it. That's pretty cool. See, well, we just got a whole arm long enough. You know? We're like Rush. Yeah. I was wondering, I don't know about you Q if you can answer this question because most of your teachers were guys, right?

Did you have female teachers? Oh, I had some real hot female teachers. That was my question because like when I look back at our school, like at Henry Hudson, And when we went to high school, I'm like, I think of all our teachers being like, oh, just old. But then I was thinking back, like, and I was realizing, like, they weren't really that old. And some of them were probably pretty cute. Like if, like, if we were to look at them today, like, Mrs. Clark, remember Ms. Clark? She was like, remember she was, like, kind of airheaded in shit?

Yeah, she was. But I'm like, she might have been sexy. Like, had she, like, because we're looking at 80s clothes, you know, and 80s more than shit. So, like, I'm thinking, like, if it were today and I was a high school student, would I be like, hmm, it's like, I'd like the bang her. I'll tell you this. I have a story about this. Ms.

Clisack, another one? I had a teacher in Mantine Farrell High School that was like, it was an old boy school. So right away, like anything, anything. But she had an unbelievable body, like unbelievable. And she would dress in a way, when this was in the early 90s, like dressing away to show her off. And we were just like, this is the fucking best. And it was like a right of passage to like get in our class and just like, stare at her.

Like, she loved it. You know, there's no way you didn't, you didn't dress like that and wear those high heels and not enjoy that attention.

Cut to about 25, maybe, yeah, about 25 years later. I fucked her. No, I was out, I was out on a date,

and in walks the teacher. And time had not been kind in any way, shape, it was like, worst case. Like, I was like,

did she become a drug addict after her or someone that. And I looked at it and I was like, I said to the girl I was with, I was like, look at that woman. You have no idea how many times I jerked off to that woman. And she was like, really? And I was like, do you don't know what it was like 20-something years ago? We only had good housekeeping. It was funny. Yeah. But we had two or three really good, good looking teachers at the world. Yeah. Like, looking back, I think we had a couple. Like, not many. It was a lot of guys and then the

women were generally older. Yeah. And like, The both the gym teachers were lesbians who, you know, didn't look good. But there were a couple now, like that I think back. I'm like, man, I should have observed them more. Appreciated it more. Yeah, I should have. Did you go over and talk to her? No.

How come? Just because, like, all she doesn't want to talk about is a TV show and shit like that. And I don't want to talk about myself, you know, that's all anybody wants to talk me about, who hasn't seen me in 20 years. They're like, oh, this is, I imagine that. But, I mean, this is somebody that held a, a special place in your memories. I can imagine you'd put up for it just for the, uh,

just for the, the titillation factor. Nah, because then you're taking a picture with higher than somebody else in the restaurant sees it. And then the next thing you know, I'm fucking not enjoying my dinner. Gotcha. So I just kind of hid, but,

but it was good to see her. Do you want to look at the top five people who we probably don't know their names? Sure, let's do it. Top 50. Top, okay, well, I'm just going to look at the top five. We're not going to talk 50. Okay, these are top five TikTokers, yeah. So number one, Brooke Monk, who I've never heard of, 35 million plus followers.

She's garnered, gained immense popularity on TikTok for her relatable and humorous content. Her down-to-earth personality and engaging funny skits have endeared her to millions of followers. It's hard to, it's really hard to take a stand on them either way because what if they're doing, what if they were making stuff that I'd watch on it, it'd be like, it's pretty funny. Right. You know, without. Oh, you think it's humorous? Well, they say funny skits or down to earth personality.

Gage and funny skits have endeared to the millions of followers. Okay. You don't think it has anything to do with, you think it's, the looks? Those, those 35 million are there for the, the yucks? It's got to be something because all these girls are fucking top tier gorgeous for sure, but like,

you could just go on porn hub and see any girl doing anything. But you know, who's following TikTok? You don't think the writer is, the maker of this article is less inclined to say, yeah, well, her big tattas are a reason that she's got all these followers. They're going to be like, well, she's engaging and she's humorous. Go girl.

It's not going to be anything sexualized. Well, let's look at the rest of the list. Let's see what we got. Okay, next we got Brecky Hill, who is 4 million plus followers. Brecky Hill's gained popularity on TikTok for engaging dance videos, lip sync performances, and trendy content that appeals to young audiences. Her charismatic presence and ability to stay on top of the popular trends have helped her build a significant following on the platform.

Another pretty girl. Never heard of her. Right. Daisy Keatsy Juerger, who looks very similar to the one before. Highly popular TikTok follower with 7 million plus followers known for her fitness and lifestyle content. I mean, they're all gorgeous.

Dedicated to have her followers for her inspiration and motivation. Again, you can see the slant of this article, though. It's not going to be like, well, she's fine. It's the box we put ourselves into. Nobody talks like humans anymore. It's like, I'm offended. Oh, look at my finger wagon. Addison Ray, who I have heard of.

I have heard this name, but I wasn't aware she was a TikToker. 88 million plus followers. Biggest influencers, thanks to her captivating dance videos, charismatic personality, and engaging content frequently showcasing her life and friendships. Her collaborations with other popular creators and seamless cross-platform her presence have further solidified her status as a social media sensation. Wow.

The last one. And the last one. Number five, Charlie Jordan, another good looking girl, 7.6 million followers. Well, they mention her beauty. Yeah, but then immediately. Her genuine connection with her followers. Her natural beauty and genuine. With her fucking seven point, you could have a connection with 7.6 million followers.

I can't have a connection with seven followers. They have made her a love figure on the platform. Is it only females on this list? Yeah. It looks that way. Bella Porch. Go ahead down to the next one. Brianda Deonara.

Yeah. Renita Rhee. This looks like a barbts on. Charlie DiMilio. Yeah, they're all... I think a model would just look like one. Yeah, right. I've met Charlie DiMilio.

She's actually really super fucking nice. 156 million followers. Yeah. Oh, she was in... When Fetone was on Broadway and Juliet, she was in it. Oh, was she? She was so fucking. nice. Like, I'm

156 million people. Her down-to-earth personality. I mean, she was, you wouldn't, you wouldn't. Cuska testing and she does have it. I'm telling you, she was a dance. First of all, she, this is why I'm impressed with her. She was in the Broadway show. She's got 156 million followers. She wasn't a lead. I don't even think she had any voice speaking roles.

She was a dancer, like a feature dancer. And I was like, that's pretty cool that she loves Broadway that much, that she would just do that with, with that many followers. Obviously, she could call her on shots. when I met her backstage, I mean, she was just so sweet and so normal. Yeah. Yeah.

So I could say for her, and she's beautiful, too. Did she know who you were? I don't think so. I don't think so. Okay. She didn't say she did, she did, and she did. I might factor into why.

I guess, like, you know, aren't treated like I was at fucking fantasy? Looking like mole man and shit. Anybody got any eyedrops? Please. Anybody? Girls, I'm blind. Is that a girl?

Help that old man see before he has to go back to the car and get fucking yelled at. My wife's outside. My dog, too. Why are you telling me all this? Tell him, Steve, Dave.