Ten Minute Bible Talks Devotional Bible Study - 3 Ways to Fight Anxiety | Keith and Patrick

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to 10-minute Bible Talks, where we connect the Bible to your life and the time it takes to drive across town. I'm Keith Simon. And I'm Patrick Miller. On today's episode, we're going to talk about anxiety. We realize that anxiety is a complex, multifaceted issue. So rather than trying to give a one-size-fits-all solution to dealing with anxiety in your life, we thought it would be helpful to look at it from three different angles, three different perspectives. First, we want to look at it from a cultural perspective. How's our cultural moment lead us into anxiety? Second, we want to look at it. at our habits, how the way we think often entrenches us in our anxiety. And then lastly, we want to go deep. We want to look at our heart and think about how our hearts, longings, desires, and loves sometimes lead us into anxiety.

Starting point is 00:00:54 So if you like alliteration, you might think of it as habitat, habits, and heart. But if you like yourself, you won't say things that stupid. So let's just think for a second. Why is anxiety so much on the rise? Everybody's sees that it is, whether your personal experience, your friends, people are reaching out to psychiatrists and getting medication more and more for anxiety. But why is that? I mean, think about the things that people dealt with in the past. They went through the Cold War when you would get called out of your classroom because you were practicing for the nuclear explosion that was coming. World War II, the Great Depression. Why now anxiety on the rise? I mean, in some sense,

Starting point is 00:01:36 every time period has its own stressors. And so maybe today they're economic. or school shootings, those kinds of things that are causing stress in people's lives. So I guess my point is that every time period has its cultural stressors on people. Why now at a time when our nation is so prosperous? Why now at a time when people are more educated than ever? Why now is anxiety on the rise? Why now are we medicated more than ever for this particular issue? Yeah, I've heard one author called this An Anxious Age.

Starting point is 00:02:08 And I know speaking personally as a pastor, this is the issue. It's the thing that I probably spend the most time talking to people about. And the anxieties that people are experiencing, sometimes it's anxiety about a specific problem in their life. I made a bad choice and now I'm dealing with the repercussions. Or I just got into a bad situation and it's stressful and I'm scared. But more often, at least for me, with a lot of people in their 20s, what I see people experiencing is just this low-level, constant, nonstop, nagging, gnawing sense of anxiety about their life. And what do you think that comes from? The people you talk to, can they put their finger on it or not really?

Starting point is 00:02:47 Most of the people I talk to can't put their finger on it. It's not as though they can say, well, this is where it's started, or this is the one problem that I have. And again, I think that's why it's helpful to take a multifaceted approach to thinking about anxiety, because it might be any number of things or any number of combination of things. So then if they can't put their finger on it, I guess the conclusion we draw from that is that there must be some cultural factors that are at the root of this. I mean, I think it's a big part of it.

Starting point is 00:03:15 Again, like I said, we want to look at this from three angles and one helpful angle. A good place to start is our habitat, our environment that we're living in. And culturally speaking, I think there's several things happening right now that are amplifying our anxiety. And the first and most obvious thing that comes to mind is our cell phones, our smartphones. In fact, just Google search, phones and anxiety, and you will find research on research on research making the point that the more you're on your phone, the more anxious, and the more depressed you are. And I guess that's because the phone, at least based on what I've read, is that the phone disconnects us from relationship.

Starting point is 00:03:53 And there's something about being in real community, physical, personal community, that fights against anxiety. kind of the way God designed us is to be around other people, to be accepted, loved, interact with them. And when we have that, we are less anxious and we don't have that. Well, anxiety's on the rise. Well, and ironically, I think when you're looking at social media on your phone, you're often experiencing a sense of being left out. You see what other people are doing or you see the wonderful things that they're doing in their lives. And you wonder, should I be doing more? Should I be more connected? And so it actually amplifies that sense of disconnection that you're

Starting point is 00:04:29 already experiencing by the fact that you're staring at a screen. So I said in the past, people have survived World War II or the Cold War or the Great Depression without being anxious. But maybe today's a person has more temptations or pressures in their life that lead to anxiety because you can't ever escape social media. You can't ever really escape your phone. And if that's the source of your anxiety, good luck. That's tough. So we've escaped world wars, but we can't escape the iPhone. That's a good summary of the problem. And it's not just technology that's contributing to this.

Starting point is 00:05:05 I think a lot of it is parenting. So you say that people in their 20s are experiencing anxiety at a higher level in a bit of a different way than any other generation has. And I think that's because they came of age in the helicopter parenting. Let's just press pause on that for a second. You and I talked before this, and one of the things you said to me was, well, don't you think most people have one specific problem that's causing their anxiety? And my response was, no, most of the people I mean, they don't have one specific thing. And I think that's a generational thing. I think if you're

Starting point is 00:05:39 talking to older people, I don't know if you'd agree, but if you're talking to older people, it's something in their life that's causing anxiety. Whereas when I'm talking to younger people, it's not something in their life. It's just a feeling. Oh, it's for sure true of the people I talk to. I talk to people who are anxious, but they can usually pinpoint what it is. this idea that we don't know what it is, but we are just riddled with anxiety in general, that is unfamiliar to me. That's not common in the people I talk to. So what do you think it was about the parenting style of people who are in their 20s? And these are my parents as well, that you think maybe has caused that almost atmosphere of anxiety that people are living in. Well, we did a previous episode on this issue, so we don't need to go into it too much here.

Starting point is 00:06:22 But in general, helicopter parenting is the idea that you're hovering over your kids, always protecting them, that you're trying to prepare the path for your kid instead of preparing your kid for the path. So if you grow up in an environment where you don't face a lot of challenges because your parents have tried to remove them, if you don't have to have hard conversations with a boss or with a schoolteacher because your parents have taken care of that for you, if you grow up in a world in which your parents have managed your life, helped you get up in the morning, helped you get off to school on time, made your breakfast, If you grow up in a world where your parents have always been there and always been able to be

Starting point is 00:07:02 relied upon to solve whatever problem you face, then you're not equipped to come into the world and handle those problems on your own independent from your parents. So I'm not just saying that's true of every person in their teens or 20s. I'm just saying that might be one contributing factor to the rise of anxiety. It could be easy to feel hopeless after hearing something like that. Maybe say, well, that was my parents, but what am I supposed to do? now I'm living it. And my response to that would be, again, several answers. First of all, it would be to say, hey, if you know that that's what's happening, if you can identify internally

Starting point is 00:07:37 that maybe I'm experiencing anxiety because I wasn't equipped at a younger age to deal with the normal stressors of life, when you know that, it sets you free from, in one level, feeling bad about yourself, but it also sets you free to say, okay, I'm going to dose myself with risk. I'm going to dose myself with experiences that will help stretch my ability to not fold and not be anxious under pressure. And if you're coming into things with that mindset, you can turn that anxiety almost into a form of excitement where you're saying, okay, I know I feel anxious, but I'm also excited because this is going to be a stretching experience. It's going to help me grow and be a more fully functioning adult. And like I said, you can go back to a previous episode and hear more about

Starting point is 00:08:18 that parenting style. But before we leave this habitat, this culture conversation, let's talk a little bit about God in the absence of God in people's life. When we take God out of our life or when the culture becomes more secular, it shouldn't surprise us that anxiety rises. You know, most people I meet with, even if they're following Jesus, are on a practical level living in a one-story house. It's as though the only part of the world that exists and matters is the material world, the world that we can see, touch, and feel. But the Bible says that we're living in a two-story house, that there's something transcendent, that there is a God who is not just present and active, but in charge. Throughout the Bible, we see calls to cast our anxieties on God, specifically 1st Peter

Starting point is 00:09:09 5-7 says cast your anxieties on God. And it suggests that one way that people who are following Jesus deal with their anxiety is by trusting it to the God who's in charge. But the deal is, if you don't believe in a God, or if you don't think that there's anyone to hand that anxiety off to, where does it stay? Well, stays right on your own shoulders. You're the one now who's responsible for it, which only increases the anxiety. And like you said, this isn't just true of people who are maybe a self-proclaimed atheist, but this is how even people who are Christians, are claimed to be Christians, live a lot of their life. They tend to live like people who don't

Starting point is 00:09:44 believe in God. Well, and we've been trained to do it, again, by our culture and our cultural moment, to live for all intents and purposes like practical atheists. We turn believing in God into an opinion. We turn it into a hobby or something that I think about on the side. And if that's all you think God is, it's not going to make much of an impact on your internal, emotional life because really you don't believe God is real and you're not living like it. So if the message we hear or think in our own head is it all depends on me or this is the main world, I got to make it work now, well, no wonder that's stressful because I'm not able to live up to the standard I want. And if I've got to make my life,

Starting point is 00:10:23 perfect now, than anything that comes along in my life that's a challenge becomes an obstacle to my happiness. If I can see that God is with me, that God walks through these trials with me, if I can see that this world isn't the main world, but that God has promised me eternal life in him, then that takes a lot of pressure off. Yeah, you know, Romans 8, it's a wonderful chapter in the Bible. But one of the things it says, it says that neither height nor depth nor anything in creation is able to separate us from the love of God. And if you really believe that, it turns the difficult things into your lives

Starting point is 00:10:57 into things that can be overcome, not by you, but precisely by the love of God. And if I know that God loves me, that he can handle the things that are stressing me in my life, it allows me to take my hands off them and trust and know that I'm going to be okay no matter what ends up happening. So we looked at our habitat and our culture

Starting point is 00:11:18 and how our cultural moment is affecting our anxiety levels. But now let's switch to our habits. We're not just shaped by what we believe, but we're also shaped by our habit patterns. The things that we do and get in the habit of doing over and over again shape our character, the way we think. And there's a lot to be said in the Bible about renewing our mind, about coming up with a new set of habit patterns. So if you think about your phone for a second, your phone has an operating system built into it. And what that operating system does is it intakes information,

Starting point is 00:11:51 whether that's photos or typing, and it spits things out, right? It gives you an output. And I think our emotional life can work the same way sometimes. We've got an operating system that intakes all of these things, people talking to us, experiences that we have, and it gives us certain outputs, certain feelings. And again, as I talk to a lot of people, it seems to me that they've got an anxiety operating system. They've got this almost innate built-in ability to take in things and spit out anxiety. And so they've got those habits emotionally that need to be identified and changed. So I want to talk about a few different things that you can do, a few different habits of mind that if you can correct them, I think, help you fight against anxiety. And like Keith said, a lot of these things are based in

Starting point is 00:12:39 some contemporary studies of psychology, but simultaneously, they're also rooted in a lot of ancient wisdom that we can find in the Bible. So what you're doing, Patrick, is you're labeling bad habits that we've gotten into and how we might correct those. In other words, our bad habits have led us to higher levels of anxiety. Yeah, so let's just give an example. The one I'd start with is mind reading. And I don't care who you are. You probably think you're a mind reader. This happens in many of our conversations. You're talking to a spouse or a friend or a boss and you think you know what they're thinking, right? You know, your boss is correcting some aspect of your work. And you're thinking what your boss is thinking, wow, this guy is, he's stupid, he doesn't know what he's doing, he always messes

Starting point is 00:13:21 things up. But what your boss might be thinking is, well, I really like this guy. And whenever I give him good, helpful feedback, he makes the correction and he seems to do a good job. So I'm going to make sure that I give him that feedback loops that he can continue to improve. So it reminds me that I, that I've heard somebody say that we don't live by the facts of our life. We live by the interpretation of the facts. And so we tend to negatively interpret what people mean or what their thinking about us. And that leads in some ways into a different pattern of thought, which would actually be negative fixation. It's really easy in life to focus on the negative things and to miss the positive things. And we all know this, right? For whatever reason, bad things in our life,

Starting point is 00:14:01 it feels like the volumes cranked up. If you read any management books out there, they will tell you again and again for every one negative comment you give someone, you need to give them five positive comments. And it's because all of us, we fixate on the negative. But when you get fixated on the negative, your anxiety is only going to grow because all you see is what's going wrong. I see that so often in my own life or people I talk to that I have a friend who has so much going for him, but all he can think about are the two or three things that are holding them back, two or three things that are big disappointments. I don't mean to minimize them, but it's a lack of ability to see the hundreds of ways that he has truly been blessed.

Starting point is 00:14:45 I wonder if that doesn't happen in my own life, that I don't focus on things that are the negative and miss out all the good things God have done. It's like somehow I take those good things for granted, but they make a big deal out of the negative. And a lot of studies show that the best way to see those good things, to turn up the volume, if you will, on those good things, is actually gratitude. And I laugh whenever I see these studies because, one, it's obviously not rocket science, but two, it's something the Bible said for a long time. In Philippians 4-6, Paul says, do not be anxious about anything. But what should you do instead of having anxiety? And everything by prayer and supplication with Thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God. And so it seems like he's saying,

Starting point is 00:15:26 take your anxieties to God and then give thanks. Focus on the positive things. Give God gratitude for all the good things he's done. And that's part of the natural way that we fight against that pattern of thought of negative fixation. It seems to go back even to what you said about the first one, about mind reading and that we don't live our life by the facts but the interpretation of the facts. So our boss says some hard things to us and we interpret that as, oh, he hates me. What about it saying, well, no, he really respects me and sees a lot of potential in me. But now in this one, it is I've got some bad things in my life. Horrible things are going to come from it instead of going, I wonder if God gave me

Starting point is 00:16:06 these difficult challenges in order to grow me. So interpretation is a big deal here, it seems like to me. Yeah. And that leads to another thought pattern we can get stuck in, which is all or nothing thinking, black and white thinking. It's easy to catastrophize, to think that things are going far worse than they actually are. Again, this happens to me all the time. I'll be doing a job and then my computer crashes.

Starting point is 00:16:32 And I think to myself, oh my gosh, everything is lost. I can't get any of my information back. I'm not going to be able to do my job. I'm going to let people down. And I start rolling through all of these internal thoughts when what really happened was my computer broke down and actually a lot of it's backed up and I'm going to be totally fine. But in the moment I get into this all or nothing cycle, right? Everything is lost. So one other thought pattern, emotional pattern we get stuck in is called the crystal ball. And it's exactly what it sounds like. When we get anxious, we start thinking we actually have the ability to see into the future.

Starting point is 00:17:04 I know exactly what's going to happen. This is what always happens. So, Again, your spouse sends you a text about how the kids are a total mess at home and it's going really difficult. You could think, I've got a crystal ball. Well, I know it's going to happen. Now we're going to get into a fight and I'm going to come home and the kids are going to be a mess and we're going to have a miserable night and everything's going to be terrible. But the reality is, you don't have a crystal ball. There could be a whole different set of responses out there. But once you get stuck in that anxiety, you often end up creating the very nightmare that you're afraid of happening.

Starting point is 00:17:36 It's almost like you don't have any agency in the situation. I mean, that could happen. In the example you gave, you could have a miserable night, or you could go in and give your wife a hug and spend some time with the kids and maybe be a positive light in everybody's day and have a completely different night. Yeah, that's great. And this kind of goes back to the whole no God problem. Because if I know that I am worshiping and following a God who actually can see the future and not just see it, but control it, that's going. going to change how I respond in those moments. I may go back and have a bad day, but that's not everything. The last thing that I would add in here, just patterns of thought would be emotional reasoning. So emotional reasoning is when we say, I feel X, therefore, Y must be true. So I feel anxious about this particular coworker that I'm sitting next to. Therefore, they must be against me. therefore they must be working to undermine me. And it could be true. You might be sitting next to someone who does want you to fail. But just because you feel anxiety doesn't mean that your feelings are true.

Starting point is 00:18:43 And culturally, I think we see this happening writ large all over the place where someone feels something and that equals a reality. The best way to figure out with whether or not it's real is to actually go to the person and have the conversation. And in my own experience, well, that might sound scary or awkward, having the conversation in the end, usually ends up resolving the problem. So I guess you're saying that our emotions are not always the best guide. They don't always lead us to the truth, that we can't just let our emotions run rampant. We have to check them and slow them down a little bit. We have to speak truth to our emotions and tell them, you know, it kind of sounds weird, but you've almost got to talk to your emotions and tell them that they are

Starting point is 00:19:26 jumping to conclusions. They are going to worst case scenarios. And it's not warranted. Is that right? Help me understand more about how to respond to emotions that are taking me down a bad road. Yeah, so you could end up thinking what I'm saying is this mind over matter approach, right? You know, if I just think the right way and if I think hard enough, then I can convince myself, I'm going to be set free. And I would urge in some ways against that direction. What I would say is acknowledge your feelings. Acknowledge exactly what you're feeling. Validate what you're feeling.

Starting point is 00:19:59 I'm feeling anxious about this friendship that there seems to be some conflict in. Or I'm just feeling anxious in general. Admit the feelings, validate the feelings, and then try to identify. Is one of these thought patterns happening inside of my heart right now? And if you see it, then you just talk to it. If it's over generalization, you say, you know what? Maybe this is a more complex situation. Maybe this isn't just a black or white all or nothing type situation.

Starting point is 00:20:24 And I think, again, this is something that the Bible trains us to do. Throughout the Psalms, we see people crying out their feelings to God, and they're not justifying them. They're not trying to say, well, this is why I feel it. They're just saying, this is what I feel. And then what do they do? They talk to themselves. So just one example, Psalm 22, this is what we read. My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? That's an emotional crying out. Why are you so far from saving me from the words of my groaning? Oh, my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer. And by night, but I find no rest. But then check out what the psalmist does. He says his feelings, but then he talks to himself. Yet, you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel, and you are fathers trusted. They trusted and you delivered them. He's saying, look, I feel like I'm in this all or nothing situation right now, but as it turns out, I'm not. And I can look back at the past and see how you have taken care of my ancestors, and you're going to take care of me and the situation. And that's a great pattern that we can go through when we're stuck in our anxiety. I love that. Acknowledge your emotions. they're real, but base your life on truth. Use the truth of who God is to direct your emotions the

Starting point is 00:21:32 right way. So we just looked at some of the internal habits, emotional habits, habits of thought that sometimes entrench us in our anxiety. We talked about how to speak to those habits and change them. But we think we can even go one layer deeper and get right to the heart of what's causing our anxiety. I think most of us, we think in terms of, well, I don't want to be an anxious person. I want to stop worrying. I want to start trusting or I want to be okay handling difficult situations. So stop being this way. And I've preached that to myself. Stop doing this sin or that sin or this behavior or that behavior. Stop having that reaction. Ad nauseum. And all I found is that it ends in utter failure. I think what helps is to say, why am I experiencing this? What's going on?

Starting point is 00:22:27 inside of me. What's going on down in my heart that is leading to anxiety? And of course, it's not just anxiety. We could look at any behavior, anything going on in our life, and look down in our heart. Jesus says that out of the overflow of our heart, our mouth speaks. Proverbs says, to guard our heart, for it is the wellspring of life. In other words, all of our choices, all of our decisions, all of our words, they come from our heart. So it makes sense to me to say, okay, then I'm experiencing anxiety. What's going on? What's happening down in my heart? So can you give us a practical example of how someone can do that? And there are so many, but I'll take one. To be honest, it's kind of an amalgamation of different friends I've had. It's so common that it's hard to even just say this is

Starting point is 00:23:16 about one person. It's not. It's several people in my mind. So I have a friend who gives me a call over a holiday weekend. And it's unlike him to call me on a holiday. He's with his family. And he is scared to death. He's having panic attacks. He's gone to the hospital because these panics attacks have gotten so bad. Now, these friends that I have that experienced this, they are smart guys, competent people, good families. These are people who you would think have the least to worry about of any person you've ever met. They seem to have everything. So how in the world do these competent, intelligent people end up having panic attacks, end up with anxiety disorders, end up on medication. Well, I was able to talk to this person, this friend of mine, and just keep

Starting point is 00:24:07 going layer by layer deeper, deeper into his heart. Well, what's going on? Why are you so worried? And it starts about business or it starts about a particular child problem. It talks about maybe a marriage problem, but let's go deeper than that. Let's go deeper than that. Let's get down into your heart. What is it you're scared of? What are you worried about? And I remember one conversation where the person ended up saying, you know, the more I think about it, the more I'm just embarrassed that I may have made a bad business decision. And I'm used to being the smartest person in the room. And this bad business decision might expose me as not having it all together. So sometimes we create our identity and root our identity in being the smartest person in the room, the best

Starting point is 00:24:58 decision maker. Sometimes we do it on being the best parent and having all the parenting answers and having the best kids. Sometimes we do it with our appearance or our professional career. We do it on all kinds of things, but we root our identity in something. And when that is being attacked, we crumble because we don't know who we are if we're not the best mom, dad, the best athlete, the prettiest person, the most accomplished person. And so we worry, we get consumed with worry, not so much about the event, but about who we are. Are we anything without this? It's interesting what you're saying right now, because it suggests to me that anxiety sometimes can almost be like a smoke alarm in your life that starts going off and beeping when there's something

Starting point is 00:25:43 wrong. And if you'll chase it down to the fire, you might discover that there's something in your life that you love, that you desire, that you worship. more than Jesus. And so in some ways, anxiety can be a really helpful thing in our life that helps us to get to the core of what we're actually living for and see it. We're not really worrying about one specific thing. We're worrying, am I anybody without this? Can I be happy without this thing I desperately think that I need? But I've seen people. They get in a spin cycle. Maybe you've experienced it where it's hard to slow down. You're just mind is racing. Your heart is racing. your pulses up.

Starting point is 00:26:23 So one thing that's good to do, I think, and I got this advice from a counselor, is just to start slowing down and say, well, what would happen if this business decision you made wasn't the best one? Well, then what would happen? And so you just kind of keep repeating that question, and the person keeps answering it, and they go, well, then what would happen next? And it slows the mind down. It gives you a chance to go, well, I guess really, I guess all that would really happen

Starting point is 00:26:50 would be, I'd have to give a report that wasn't the best at the next meeting. Or whatever it is in your context, when you slow down, you begin to think, okay, maybe this isn't that big of a deal. Now, sometimes with people, I've had to get them all the way to the point where they go, well, I guess I'd lose my job, I'd lose my family, I'd lose everything. And while that is highly, highly unlikely, I still say to them at that point, well, you know what? at that point you'll be homeless and you'll be without a family and they're probably starting to chuckle at this point because they realize how dumb it is, but you're still going to have Jesus and you're still going to be okay. That this life is short, it's full of challenges, but if you've got Jesus, he's the one that you need. And the more their heart can kind of grasp that, that Jesus is here, that Jesus is what I need, that Jesus is with me, that Jesus is my future, that Jesus is my security, the more that I've seen at least, in my life and other people's lives, anxiety loses its grip. Not because I told myself,

Starting point is 00:27:52 stop being anxious, but because I went down into the root of my heart and I no longer feel like I've got to have that thing, whatever it is for you, appearance, money, a relationship, whatever it is, I don't have to have that thing to be happy. I've got Jesus, so I'll end up being okay. So anxiety gives us an opportunity to trust Jesus more, to build a deeper relationship with Jesus. And I think really that's only possible if you know who you are in Christ. If you know, you know, as Romans 815 says, that you are a adopted son or daughter of God. Like if you're God's child, he cares about you. He's going to provide for you.

Starting point is 00:28:32 Everything will be okay in the end. You've got to know that in Christ you have been justified, washed, sanctify that you've been transformed into Christ image. So that when God looks at you and he sees you, he sees Jesus. is righteousness on you. He loves you. He cherishes you. You've got to know these facts about who you are in Christ that help you to feel confident about the fact that God is for you and that God's going to be there with you, even if you lose literally everything in your life. So anxiety, like Patrick said at the very beginning, is a multifaceted. It's psychological, it's spiritual, it's physical. And if you're really struggling with anxiety, I would encourage you to

Starting point is 00:29:18 reach out to a friend. Could be somebody in your small group, could be a family member, could be a counselor. I would reach out to them and see if they can't offer you some help. But we've looked at a few things here to maybe give us some perspective. There are some cultural pressures, our habitat that we live in, put some pressures on us. We have developed some habits that are probably problematic and that there's ways to overcome those. And finally, we eventually need to get down in our heart and say what what is it in our heart that is producing this anxiety but i know this that christ is with you that he brings things into your life that maybe even he brings anxiety inducing things into your life to teach you to rely on him to teach you to trust him to teach you to rest in his love to know that he is

Starting point is 00:30:07 with you psalm 13923 says search me oh god and know my heart try me and know my anxious thought This is what we've all got to do before God. We have to come before him in the midst of our anxiety and show it to him and talk to him about it so that he can take us on a journey of trusting him and knowing him. And I think if you get into a pattern of doing that in your life, you're going to find that not immediately, but over years of doing this, your anxieties will lower. You'll never be free from it entirely, but they will lower and they'll become more and more manageable.

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Ten Minute Bible Talks Devotional Bible Study - 3 Ways to Fight Anxiety | Keith and Patrick

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