Ten Minute Bible Talks Devotional Bible Study - Giving Up Control | The Writings | 1 Chronicles 28-29

Starting point is 00:00:05 Welcome to 10-minute Bible Talks, where we connect the Bible to your life. In the time it takes to get to work. I'm Tanya Wilmuth. I'm just wondering, who gets the credit if you turn out well? Is it your parents for raising you with godly wisdom and unconditional love? And who gets the fall if your life isn't going well? Is it also your parents for being distracted or addicted or unforgiving or even pushing you too hard? What about parents?

Starting point is 00:00:34 Whether you have kids now or if you might later, you will face the temptation to take credit for your kids' good choices. It will look like feeling good about yourself when they behave in a way that makes you look good. If this goes unchecked, it can lead to pride in a workspace parenting style. Good choices mean good things come to you. And it will create some pretty good little kids because they'll probably do what you want them to do when you're in public. And it might slowly eat away at you when you begin to feel more and more in control of what they do and what they say to the point that they live to please you, at least outwardly. The problem with this feeling of control is that it's a perception. You actually

Starting point is 00:01:19 have no idea and no control over what is going on in their heart. My guess is that if you're following Jesus, you really are more concerned about their heart than their outward behavior. When we are tempted to think our good parenting choices are the reason our kids are doing well, well, first of all, there's a lot of things that can happen. Usually things will come undone. But if we're tempted to think that our parenting choices are the reason our kids are doing well, then we will be tempted to heat blame on ourselves when they aren't. It will make us crazy with anxiety. It will give us a desire to have more control. We will feel like we can prevent bad things from happening and then make it our mission to do so. And somewhere in the middle of this,

Starting point is 00:02:04 I think we lose sight of Jesus. We lose sight of grace, of mercy, of dependence. David was the father of many. That sounds like a song that should be about Abraham, doesn't it? But today's passage and First Chronicles is dealing with David's relationship with the son who was going to succeed him on the throne, Solomon. When David was in his old age and about to die, he wanted to prepare his people for their new king, Solomon, and he wanted to prepare his son, Solomon, to be that king. David knew it was Solomon's task to be the one to complete the temple, and this is something that they'd been waiting and longing for for a very long time. It was a big deal. Now, in First Chronicles 28, we get to read King David's wise and intentional words to Solomon

Starting point is 00:02:49 before he handed over the reins of the kingdom. David said, now, with God is our witness, and in the sight of all Israel, the Lord's Assembly, I give you this charge. Be careful to obey all the commands of the Lord your God so that you may continue to possess this good land and leave it to your children as a permanent inheritance. And Solomon, my son, learn to know the Lord, the God of your ancestors intimately, worship, and serve with your whole heart and a willing mind. Now David told Solomon to follow all the commands of the Lord, to know God intimately, to serve him with his mind. These are important instructions for our own kids. Not long after this. God gave Solomon an opportunity to ask for what he wanted. And Solomon at least followed the part about knowing God

Starting point is 00:03:44 with all his mind. He asked for wisdom. The beginning of his reign, it looked really promising, but it wasn't long before Solomon ran into problems. It began when he did something God, had warned against. Solomon made an alliance with Egypt by marrying one of Pharaoh's daughters. See, in Deuteronomy, when God was establishing his people in their new land, he commanded Israel's kings never to return to Egypt. Then, as a result of this alliance of Solomon marrying this woman from Egypt, Solomon got involved with making sacrifices to other gods. God's warnings and his father's words probably could have saved Solomon a lot of trouble, but instead Solomon ended up with something like 700 wives and 300 concubine. King David taught Solomon to serve God with his whole heart. And in Kings 3.3,

Starting point is 00:04:40 we read about Solomon doing that, at least at some point, it says, and I quote, Solomon loved the Lord. But at the end of his story, Solomon's love had changed. First Kings 11 says he loved many foreign women. No surprise, after the numbers I just gave you. And quote, his heart was not wholly true to the Lord His God. Something had happened to Solomon. If only he would have listened to his father. If only. The life of Solomon shows us that there are limits to what we can do as parents. Even our wisest words do not have the power to save our children from bad choices. We should do our best to help them understand God's word. We should show them what God's forgiveness looks like by showing our need for it and a willingness to give that forgiveness to our children. But Solomon's problem wasn't that

Starting point is 00:05:34 David's message was unclear or that David's desire for him to follow all of God's commands was unreasonable. It was an issue that resided somewhere with the innermost desires and loves of Solomon's own heart. As parents, we can on one extreme try to be in control of how our kids turn out by being on top of everything. And on the other extreme, we can let our children manipulate us into feeling like our expectations are unreasonable if we discipline them or hold them accountable to our rules and guidelines. I can say these things, because friends, I have done both, but when our greatest desire is to point them by love and grace and example toward the heart of the Lord, We find a shelter in God that supports our parenting, that supplies our wisdom, that gives us our words.

Starting point is 00:06:25 We don't fear our children's affections because we haven't made their approval an idle. We don't fear our children's mistakes because we haven't made their successes an idle. I don't know if this makes sense to you or where you are, whether you're a child or a parent, but there's always value in examining what good thing we've turned into. an idol. Being a parent is a good thing. But when we have an emotional spectrum around anything that is driven either by fear and anxiety on one hand or pride on the other, good chances, we've taken something meant for good and turned it into an idol. The good news, of course, is that God gives us opportunities to have those things uncovered, just as he was doing through the author of Chronicles, when Israel's

Starting point is 00:07:13 history was replayed before their ears and their eyes. What does your history, reveal about what you idolize? Will you ask God to help you when you're tempted to use control to keep those idols in your own safekeeping? Sometimes I see God using things happening in my children's hearts to expose something in my own that I haven't noticed before. And let me tell you, it is humbling and unpleasant. But like reading a history book, this is a great reflection, because looking in that mirror allows me to see my own need for Jesus. It helps me remember he's the one my kids need to. More than me, more than my approval. They need the eternal love of Jesus.

Ten Minute Bible Talks Devotional Bible Study - Giving Up Control | The Writings | 1 Chronicles 28-29

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