Ten Minute Bible Talks Devotional Bible Study - How Do You Respond to Conflict? | Torah | Genesis 32:1-21

Episode Date: March 22, 2022

Are you surprised when there's conflict in your life? How do you handle conflict? Are you able to reconcile with others after an argument? In today's episode, Tanya looks at Genesis 32:1-21 to see how Jacob resolves conflict in his own life. Like this content? Make sure to leave us a rating and share it with others, so others can find it too. Use #asktmbt to connect with us, ask questions, and suggest topics. We'd love to hear from you! To learn more, visit our website and follow us on Facebook, and Twitter @TenMinuteBibleTalks. Don't forget to subscribe to the TMBT Newsletter here. Passages: Genesis 32:1-21 Your support makes TMBT possible. Ten Minute Bible Talks is a crowd-funded project. Join the TMBTeam to reach more people with the Bible. Give now.

Welcome to 10-minute Bible Talks, where we connect the Bible to your life in the time it takes to get to work. I'm Daniel Wilmeth. Right now, we're going through the first book of the Bible, Genesis. Are you surprised when there's conflict in your life? You shouldn't be. Conflict entered the human race in the fall, and it's been present since the Garden of Eden, so we shouldn't be surprised by it. But we should try to get better at it. Here's how I think we tend to handle relational conflict. We run away from it. from it. We avoid it. We bury it. We suffer silently until we can't. None of these things are good options because they don't address the conflict we already have. And since we know conflict is unavoidable, we're just going to keep piling more on. But what if we saw conflict less as an obstacle and more of an opportunity? See, working through conflict with the goal of reconciliation

pleases God. God can use conflict to expose our hearts so they can be healed. We see this in the life of Jacob. Jacob and his brother Esau had conflict before they were even born. We read that even while they were in their mother, Rebecca's womb, the children struggled within her. When she inquired of the Lord about what was happening, he told her in Genesis 25. Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you shall be divided. The one shall be stronger than the other, the old older shall serve the younger. Even Rebecca and Isaac had different ways of handling this turmoil. Rebecca tucked it away in her heart and would use it later to scheme.

And Isaac tucked those words away and buried them, determined to make them untrue. And neither of those strategies had good outcomes. When I had roommates in college, our way of handling conflict was passive-aggressive. We would get really frustrated that someone else let their boyfriend park in the driveway or someone used all the laundry detergent, but we pretended like we weren't mad. We smiled and overcompensated. I'll buy double the detergent and show them.

But we never really addressed it. Not face-to-face anyway. Just behind each other's backs. I love these girls. They're still my best friends. I don't think what we did then was uncommon or even weird. We just didn't know how to handle conflict. We don't start off as good conflict navigate.

eaters. Surely Jacob didn't, and how could he? Clearly, his parents weren't modeling good reconciliation in the way they handled the birthright and the blessing. Esau and Jacob were the classic models for fight and flight. When it was time for the spiritual blessing to be handed down, Jacob and his mother tricked Isaac, and when Esau found out, he was ready to fight. Genesis 2741 says, now Issa hated Jacob because of the blessing with which his father had blessed him. And Esau said to himself, The days of mourning from my father are approaching, then I will kill my brother Jacob.

And so Jacob took the flight. He heard that and his mom packed him up and sent him to his uncle Laban so he wouldn't be killed. Do you resort to either of those fight or flight? I can remember early on when Eric and I learned that we were a fight and flight combo. See, we were dating during college and we were walking home from some kind of campus

or Greek event or something. He was going to his fraternity and I was going to my sorority house. And we passed a group of guys from another fraternity hanging out in their front yard. Everybody was being pretty goofy, but there were some history between that particular fraternity and the one Eric was in. And feeling a little feisty, Eric stepped off the sidewalk into their grass and said something that he probably shouldn't have. We were just newly dating, so he was really just trying to show off. But the guys in the other fraternity were feeling feisty. so they toned back and asked him if he wanted to fight.

Now, this is where, in my opinion, every reasonable 19-year-old should say no and hug and cue the butterflies and rainbows. But that's not how it happened. Eric was somewhat thrilled with the opportunity to fight in front of his new girlfriend, so he stepped further into the lawn and the punches started flying.

And I have no idea what happened because I ran away. Today, when we meet people from that other fraternity, that fight is the first thing that comes to our mind. During that time, though, the Lord was working on Jacob's heart. While he was living with Laban, Jacob experienced what it was like to live with someone who was difficult and unapologetic. And God reminded Jacob more than once that he was with him wherever he went. Jacob, the flight person, was learning that he couldn't run away from God. And that was a good thing. When we dishonor God, we can't just run away from him because he is always with us.

And like David said in the Psalms, the Lord encamps around those who fear him and he delivers them. Our flight doesn't change our proximity with God. But Jacob couldn't help but know that the Lord was with him while he worked for his Uncle Laban. And even though Jacob still made some bad choices, the Lord provided for him and reminded him that he was present. So Jacob came away from that experience more equipped to handle his own conflict and seek some kind of reconciliation. Now in Genesis 32, it's time for him to move back and he knows he's going to encounter his brother Esau. And he is very afraid. But let's look at two things Jacob did to take steps of reconciliation with his brother.

First, he initiated. Genesis 32, 3, and Jacob sent messengers before him to Esau his brother in the land of Sierra, the country of Edom. The first thing Jacob did was plan for a way to move toward Esau. He didn't make a list of things that Esau had done and calculate a percentage and think it was Esau's job to make the first move. Rather, Jacob initiated. We need to initiate too. Think of a conflict or potential conflict in your life right now.

Now tell yourself, you are the initiator. Regardless who started it or who is more. at blame, take the responsibility of being the one to initiate and take the first steps toward reconciliation. Now, the second thing Jacob did was to move forward in humility. He took the low road. Genesis 32.4. Thus, you shall say to my lord, Esau. Thus, your servant, Jacob says, I have sojourned with Laban and stayed until now. I have oxen, donkeys, flocks, male servants and female servants, I have sent to tell my Lord in order that I may find favor in your sight. He refers to Esau as Lord himself as servant. It wasn't just sappy words, but he put his money

where his mouth was. He specifically and purposefully set aside his own treasure to give away to Esau to prove how authentic he was about seeking forgiveness. It doesn't work if we use words, but our heart doesn't really mean them, right? So how do we do? do these hard things? How do we initiate? How do we take the low road? Well, hopefully you're thinking specifically of someone you can initiate a conversation with, maybe to seek forgiveness or to see if reconciliation is possible. And maybe you're thinking it's going to be awkward and uncomfortable and sacrificial. So how do we do this? Where do we get the kind of power we need to do things that require humility and sacrifice? To do things that make us really uncomfortable.

will we get that power from Jesus? Jesus initiated our forgiveness when he went to the cross, and he had zero percentage in the blank game. He was perfect, sinless, but he went willingly and lovingly to the cross for us, and he took the low road. He offered everything for our sake. Now, I think we can sometimes lose sight of something important in this, but I don't want us to lose side of it here because I really believe everything about forgiveness and reconciliation hinges on it. Yes, Jesus said, not my cup, but yours. And went to the cross because that was God's plan. And God is faithful and perfect. All of his plans will be carried into fruition. But see, Jesus didn't just do it because he was faithful. He did it because he loves us.

Jesus loves us so much that he gave himself for us. From John 316 for God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. See, Jesus did it out of love. We have that power of Jesus in us, the power through which he loves us to be people who forgive apologize, take the low road, and reconcile. So who do you need to move toward?

It might be really, really difficult, but it's practical and spiritual. Practically, it's healthier for your mind and your body, and you're going to be more useful and relevant where you are. And spiritually, it's like medicine for your heart. God will use it to heal your heart from hurt, pride, and all. all the other things he will expose. I hope that you'll take those hard steps in the power and love of Jesus. Before you forget, sign up for the brand new TMBT newsletter.

Hit the link in the show notes, and you'll get an email every Wednesday that will help you beat the midweek slump and go deeper in your walk with Jesus. Thanks for listening.