Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris - 141: Alison Wright, World-Traveling Photographer

Episode Date: June 27, 2018

Her body badly broken in a horrific bus crash in Laos, Alison Wright was still trying to breathe as she realized that she may not make it out alive. But not only did she survive, the award-winning National Geographic photographer called upon her years of meditation practice to keep breathing as she re-learned how to walk, overcame months of debilitating pain, climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro and even got back on a bus in Laos, all of which she details in her memoir, "Learning to Breathe: One Woman's Journey of Spirit and Survival." See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It kind of blows my mind to consider the fact that we're up to nearly 600 episodes of this podcast, the 10% happier podcast. That's a lot of conversations. I like to think of it as a great compendium of, and I know this is a bit of a grandiose term, but wisdom. The only downside of having this vast library of audio is that it can be hard to know where to start. So we're launching a new feature here, playlists, just like you put together a playlist of your favorite songs.

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I'm Dan Harris. A harrowing, but ultimately, uplifting story on the podcast this week. Really an incredible story from a woman named Allison Wright and you'll hear it soon. First though, your voice mail. So here's my usual caveat. I'm not a meditation teacher. I'm not a mental health expert. I'm just a reporter and rank and file meditator.

And I haven't heard these questions in advance, so I just do my best to answer them based on whatever pops into my head. So here we go. Hi, Dan. This is Linda. I'm calling because the news of the last few days about these children being detained in camps has has me so desperately sad and I'm finding that I want to find some kind of refuge in my

meditation practice but I'm also finding that I'm almost avoiding meditating because then I have to sit down and let all these pictures and sounds of the children crying really think in. And I want to feel them, I want to be there so that I'm not avoiding them. Just wonder about how you or other people are dealing with what's happening right now in our country and how it affects your meditation practice. Thanks so much for all you do. I'm really asking you because this child cast and the app have really created a virtual meditation community for me and so it means a lot to hear from you and just feel like I'm part of something. So, thanks so much, everything.

Thank you, Linda. I've made this a lot to me to hear you say those kind words at the end there. I appreciate it. So, before I answer this, let me be clear. Job number one for me is I'm a journalist. Well, job number one is I'm a daddy, and husband, but professionally speaking, job number one is I'm a journalist, well, job number one is I'm a daddy, but and and husband, but professionally speaking, job number one is I'm a journalist. So I really don't take sides here in the epic political battles we're living through in the country right now.

But that being said, if what's happening in the news is bothering you deeply, troubling you, either because you're worried about what the president is doing, or because you're worried that you believe the president is being unfairly attacked. I do think meditation can be useful. I don't think it's a panacea, but I do think it can be useful. I understand you, Linda, when you say a, you're looking for a refuge, some sort of, you know, I don't know if you meant this specifically, but some sort of bubble bath, some sort of escape. And B, that you are worried about meditating because they turn out to be the opposite, which is you might have to come face to face with all of the sadness or anger or whatever it is you're

feeling. But I would argue that you should count it swat away both of those issues. One is I don't think it's going to be some sort of magical escape. Nor do I think it should be because that's not the purpose, in my view, and in my experience. And on the other hand, I would also say that while those fears are warranted, it may actually turn out to be tough to meditate while you're experiencing difficult emotions. I would argue that it's better to experience them, you know, head on, face first, rather than let them lurk in the shadows of your psyche and control you blindly. So to me, these are only real choice, while I understand your qualms, well, I think the only real choice, once you consider it, is to go for it in meditation because you

have, you know, what is the benefit of this? It's not that it's going to be a bubble bath. It may be a rough ride. The benefit is that once you face things, fully once you see things clearly, you're less yanked around by these difficult emotions. And you know, I say this all the time. I think we all need to hear it, millions and millions of times, because that's the point, or one of the points of meditating

in my view and in my experience. So I would say definitely meditate, don't shy away from it, even though I think it's natural to want to shy away from it, but also don't, you know, have realistic expectations about what it can do. And I think so anybody who's struggling in this current political environment, I think that's many, if not most of us, I think meditation is a great way to see clearly whatever's churning within you so that you aren't so yanked around by it. And that I think will make you a more successful human being, by which I don't mean like professionally successful,

I mean just less miserable, happier, highly functioning human being, but also think in terms of your own inner weather, but I also think it'll make you a better citizen in that you're less likely to spew needless vitriol on social media or just to spend too much time on social media at all and maybe to be able to have same reasonable discussions with people with whom you disagree. So yeah, one last thing, let me just give a, I don't know if I want to call this a plug,

but because it's not a plug per se, but it's just a heads up. There's a group I went out and did a story on recently, the story has not aired, but I spent some time with a group called Better Angels. And they are doing very interesting work, very small group at this point, but they basically create these get-togethers for reds and blues.

And the program was designed by a marriage counselor who's a really smart and interesting person. And just to back up for a second, the whole organization is 50-50. You know, right down to the board of directors, it's half red, half blue, the founders, one red, one blue, and the guy who designed the programming again as a marriage therapist. And his thesis, and I think there's something to this, is that we have a rocky marriage in America right now, and that some of the precepts of marriage counseling can be useful in creating healthy dialogue between the two sides.

And I was really impressed by what I saw in spending time with, I went to the National Convention of Better Angels and had people who were participating in these groups that get together all over the country. They brought them all together in Virginia and all lots of reds and lots of blues. I was just listening to their conversations and watching the way in which they structure the conversations is very, very interesting. And so I would say to people who are looking for a constructive way to deal with our current tumult, that this is one thing to look at. This group, go to their website and see if they're having meetings near you.

And that's the final thing I'll say here, and this is a bit of advice I've stolen from Sharon Salisberg, the great meditation teacher, which is that better than, I think meditation helps get you to what I'm about to say or what I'm about to steal from her, is that once you kind of work through your own feelings and you're looking for a constructive outlet, you know, volunteering is something to look at, get involved politically on a local level or get involved Even if it's not politically volunteer at a hospice volunteer at the ASPCA Do something constructive and find a constructive outlet? I think that is better than just screaming at people in all caps on Twitter

Okay, I said a lot there. Hopefully some of it made sense. Let's go to the second call. Hi Dan, this is Christine in Homeboat County, California. And I'm just calling with a question about loving kindness meditation because I'm finding that sometimes it can be a little tough to actually feel the compassionate feelings behind some of the phrases or the good wishes that you're sending out to people, you know, even people you're close with. So sometimes I can feel a little disconnected, you know, or just ingenuous. And so I just wanted to see you had any thoughts on that or an experience with it, so I'd love to hear it.

I love the podcast. Thank you so much. Thank you. I do have thoughts. You should know in advance that these are thoughts that I'm basically stealing from other people, most notably the aforementioned Sharon Salisberg, who is a person who is I do have thoughts. You should know in advance that these are thoughts that I'm basically stealing from other people, most notably the aforementioned Sharon Salisberg, who is probably the premier proponent of loving kindness meditation in the United States.

So I struggle with this mightily, and the good news is you don't have to struggle. So just for anybody who doesn't know what loving kindness meditation is, I'll just briefly describe it. It's going to sound horrible, and that's fine because it is sort of annoying at the beginning and can continue to be annoying, but nonetheless, there is evidence that it works. Loving kindness meditation is used in vision, a series of people. You start with yourself classically, and then you go to a mentor, benefactor, and then you go to a dear friend, and then you go to a neutral person, somebody

you see, but often overlook that a difficult person sometimes referred to as the enemy, and then you culminate with all beings. You systematically envision these people or beings, like your dear friend could be your cat or dog or ostrich or whatever and you send them you reprieve you silently repeat in your head a series of phrases usually they are maybe happy maybe be safe maybe be healthy may you live with ease and so yes super So yeah, super sappy. And I really thought it's not a terrible when I was first exposed to this. However, there's a lot of evidence that a, that this practice can have real health benefits and that it shows up on the brain scans as well. And be some evidence, although it's early stages, that it can impact behavior. So the good news, and this is where we get to the actual answer to your actual question,

is that you don't need to feel a certain way. The goal is not to be suffused with feelings of loving kindness, even for people who you really feel it for. The goal is just to do the exercise, to envision them in your mind, and to send these phrases. And what your building is, the muscle, that practice builds the muscle of compassion. Or loving kindness, friendliness might be another way to say loving kindness, which can seem a little ooey gooey. And this goes back to the something that I talk about all the time, which is another thing

that you cannot hear enough, which is that these things we want in ourselves, compassion, calm, patience, mindfulness, happiness, whatever, these are all skills. And so, as it turns out, these are skills that are susceptible to training. And so that's what we're doing in this practice. You don't need to force yourself to feel a certain way that's impossible. What you do is just over and over make the attempt to care, to send these friendly vibes toward these people that you're meditating on. And the theory is, and again, in my experience, it has an effect. And you may not, and I mean, Sharon's advice, is don't look for how you're feeling in

the practice as the measure, as the yardstick of whether you quote unquote doing it, right? Look for how you show up in the world, as Sharon says, you're not meditating to be a better meditator. You're meditating to become a better human. So take that guilt that you're feeling about not being experiencing a rush of love and kindness every time you do this practice and discard the guilt and just keep doing the practice. Thank you. Two great questions this week. All right, let's get to our guest. Her name is Allison Wright.

She nearly died in a truly horrific bus crash and a remote jungle road in Laos. She's a I should have said this first. She is a really accomplished, very talented photojournalist. Her work's been all over the place. The National Geographic, Smithsonian, Time, Forbes, O, The New York Times, all over the place. It's been all over the world and done incredible work. And on one of her trips overseas, she was in Laos and she got into this horrific bus accident. And she wrote a book about it called Learning to Breathe, One Woman's Journey of Spirit and Survival. And as you might imagine, meditation played a role in what is an incredible recovery.

So here she is, Allison Wright. I hear you're interested in meditation. I am interested in meditation. I work as a photographer, and I was based in Nepal for many years and while I was there I got very interested in, yeah, mostly I would say in vipassana meditation, which is sort of this insight meditation. Yeah, I described it as old school Buddhist meditation, it's got the earliest form of Buddhist meditation, which is, as far

as I understand, the predominant. I guess that Tibetan meditation would be the predominant forms in Nepal. Yeah, that's why I'm sort of clarifying that, because a lot of people, you know, my work is really known for being in Tibet. I've done books on Tibet, on the Dalai Lama, and this is sort of a different, just a different practice than Tibetan Buddhism. What would you say is the difference? Well, it's not so much what I'd say, but what they would say is that, you know, there's this, it's a little complicated, but there's Vajrayana, Mahayana, and so they,

the people who practice Tibetan Buddhism believe it to be sort of a higher, more evolved practice. And it's sort of more for me personally, it's more visually oriented in that, you know, there's Tonka's, these beautiful paintings, there's Buddhist statues, and I love all of that. I have those sort of decorations throughout my whole apartment here, but for me personally, what I glean from meditation is really just going within. It's not, there's nothing external for me. I can be anywhere and that's sort of what my practice is. And that's what, you know, when you go to Thailand, when you go to Cambodia, Laos, that's more the practice

that, you know, the monks and the people that meditate in practice Buddhism are doing that kind of, that kind of Buddhism. Yeah, I mean, it's, it's a, I'm going to say this and I may be people may tweet me because I'm being technically or historically or factually inaccurate. But basically, I think of the Pasinah insight meditation, which is taravadan meditation, which is sort of the earliest form of Buddhism, is pretty simple.

And in some cases, a little off, you're just basically watching your breath, and then when you get distracted you start again. As Buddhism evolved into, what you said, Mahayana and Vajrayana, it got more elaborate, especially with Vajrayana, Tibetan practices where they have these esoteric practices, they some of them are secret and we can involve elaborate visualizations and ceremonies and rituals

and things like that. And for a lot of people, it's incredibly meaningful and powerful. I think it's a significant amount of evidence to suggest. It's got real potency, but it's never been something that I've been personally drawn to yet. But anyway, it's helpful for you to sort of set the terms of the discussion. So you started getting interested in insight

and meditation when you were in Nepal. Why and when? Well, it's interesting. For me, I was actually very drawn to this idea really when I was younger, like all through high school. And I didn't even know there was a word for it. You know, like I was reading books about Buddhism. And I was younger, like all through high school, and I didn't even know there was a word for it. You know, like I was reading books about Buddhism, and I was just, I was just sort of really interested in this idea for one thing for some reason. I've always been very obsessed with Tibet. So I worked, you know, as working as a photographer, I was on a newspaper, and I got an assignment in Nepal, and I went for what was supposed to be this three-week assignment. And once I got there, I just fell in love with the place in Nepal. In Nepal. Not yet to bet.

Not yet to bet. But the U.N. I was working for UNICEF shooting for them and they created this assignment for me and I ended up not leaving for more than four years. Wow. I felt like I'd come home. Like I just fell in love with this country. Were you from originally? California.

And San Francisco. And I moved to New York about six, seven years ago. And what was it about Nepal that made you feel like you had come home? I don't know. I think we're just drawn to certain places for certain reasons, which is very interesting because I love the ocean. I'm such a surfer, but I got to Nepal, and there's obviously no ocean there, but it's mountainous. I fell in love with the people. I fell in love with the work I was doing because I was photographing

for the convention for the rights of the child. My work as a photographer, as a documentary photographer, is photographing indigenous cultures and people and the human condition. I do a lot of post-disaster conflict work. And this was incredibly interesting to me because my job was to photograph children all over Nepal. Their rights to health, water, ritual, just being kids. And so, you know, I did a lot of work, which I labor. So I loved the work I was doing. And then there was just a great expat community, there's a great place to live at the time.

But what was very interesting is that I realized that there were 120,000 Tibetan refugees living there. So there was actually more of the culture of Tibet living outside of Tibet than in it. And so on my own time, I own dime, I went all over India from the top to the bottom and all through Nepal, photographing all 57 Tibetan settlements, just because I was really interested in the culture and what was left of it. Because since March 10th, 1959, when the Chinese came in and the Dalai Lama left when he was 24 years old,

these people had been living in exile, but my fascination was, how does the culture survive without a country? So I was doing hundreds of interviews, thousands of photos just because this was just so interesting that these people were surviving like this and then I started going into Tibet and it was funny because I've been doing all this work and the Dalai Lama actually contacted me and he asked

That's an interesting, like the email you get an email from Dalai Lama, how that happened. Did you text you? No. Do you want Twitter? I hate to say how long ago this was, but we didn't even have Twitter. We didn't even have cell phones back then. It was, you know, it was actually through mutual friends that somebody said, oh, the dilemma I heard this word that you're doing, this is before even when the Nobel Peace Prize. So people didn't even really know who we was. Of course, I did. And I was like, oh, how great. Maybe I'll go get a blessing from them or something. So I go to India, to Darm Solid Meadam, and I ended up having the whole day with him, he gave me Tibet name, he was just so incredible, and he was so genuinely interested in what I'd seen, because he was really concerned about what was happening with this new generation,

these young Tibetans that were being born in exile, with they didn't even know Tibet, because that was, you know, now it's getting to that point. So we ended up developing this really great relationship. Just I was there for six weeks and I got to really know him. So anytime I'd see him, I'd go to India, he'd be like, hey, I'm gonna go consecrate a Buddhist statue, jump in the car, let's go.

And so we developed this really lovely relationship. And I sent a picture to my parents saying, look, I'm at the Dalai Lama. And again, nobody really knew who he was back then. And all my parents knew was that I'd gone for this three week assignment in a poll. I didn't come back for years. Then I sent a picture of me with this guy who was shaved head, mullabedes, and monk robes.

And my mom says, oh my God, frankly, joined a cult going there and get her. So my dad came over with my brother to do an intervention and series true story. And I'm like, no, Tibet is a culture, not a cult. But I ended up bringing him my brother, my dad to Tibet and into Tibet itself. It's into Tibet itself. And show I wanted them to see like this has become such a big part of my life now, you know like and So anyway, it was funny because my dad totally got into it turn my brother's a room into the debate room and bought every little Trinket he could find but but

You know the interesting thing is that he Now I mean of course Is so ubiquitous. And- He's in Apple commercials now. Oh my gosh, he's everywhere. So yeah, it's very interesting to see. I think it was really smart move that he went into exile and he's able to do more for his country.

But now I've gone, oh my gosh, years. I've been going into Tibet for 25 years now. Like really, really getting more, more remote. I spent after those years because I was living with these people, I ended up getting like malaria, typhoid, hepatitis, like every disease imaginable. So I had to spend four months in the trouble, disease hospital in London. And they said, you can't go back to Asia for at least a year.

So I didn't want to waste time. And I didn't want to come back here without health insurance. So I went to Berkeley, you see Berkeley to grad school, to do my master's degree in visual anthropology, studying culture through photography and film. I put all this to bet work together, we opened a wing of the museum there with this, and then that became my first book, The Spirit of Tibet.

This was a long time ago. But, and then the next book I did was actually on the Dalai Lama called a simple monk. And that was 15 years of traveling with them and our friendship. And now I've done stories for national geographic and New York Times, and on sort of different aspects of the demise of the Tibet, no mad and where

is this culture going. So it's something that's been really close to my heart to follow and see what's happening with the culture. So that was my fascination with it. So then on a personal nature, I got just by the nature of living in Asia, you know, this idea of meditating became much stronger for me. And I started doing retreats, like because the things

that I was seeing, and I'm sure you've experienced this too, but you know, as a journalist, you see a lot of human suffering and you start to question and how do you deal with that? Coming back and forth and you know, it's just challenging and so that helped me feel more balanced in a way that a kind of, it's not like I was looking to be happier. I was just looking to be balanced and what's really key for me is looking to be aware. Like I want to be so here and so present and so aware.

Otherwise, you missed the shot. Yeah. And that was like, it just zoned me in. And so I started to do these retreats that were three weeks at a time. Where you... I'm sorry. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, when it came time to choose a meditation style, you said, I'm not going to do it to Betton, I'm going to do this other thing. Why? That's a great question. It's sort of like you could also ask, I was raised Catholic.

I mean, it's like the verbiage didn't resonate with me. I can remember sitting endlessly in church and Sunday school. My brother completely embraced it. I just sat there and I still do. I mean, maybe we should put that in because I'm going to offend people. But it just personally didn't resonate with me. But when I do these retreats, and I've studied with many of the teachers that you list in your book. You know they, God, I just walked away feeling like there were nuggets that no matter how many times I hear them, it just really resonates with me. And you're talking about now, insight, my exactly. Exactly. And so when you said you were doing these long retreats three

weeks, where and with who? I was mostly doing them in India on this tie. There's a place called Bogaya where Buddha was enlightened. And there's a tie temple there. And I just had, we should just say so, Bogaya is ancient city in India. The Buddha said to have been enlightened there.

And so you have representatives of all the various Buddhist traditions that set up camps, so you have like a Burmese place, and a Thai place, and they're all kind of there flying the flag. So you went there and sat with some Thai Theravadan folks? Yes, and I've had different teachers that, I mean, there's one particular teacher that, you know, was doing these three record treats every year in December. And so, you know, just through friends, I just heard about this. And it just, it was funny. It just really worked for me because I do such intense work in such intense places that it's like identification, you know, it's like that doesn't, that isn't what grounds me. And I found that this is what truly grounded me.

And but it was funny because at one point there was a, I don't know, a few, maybe a thousand Tibetan llamas had come out to meditate under that bodhi tree. So I actually snuck out of the retreat to go photograph it. So the teacher saw me there and he goes, Alex, what are you doing? And, you know, I was trying to still adhere to the silence, but he's like, you can't be out photographing. He's like, what are you willing to give up? And he took my cameras every year then, and he would lock them in a box. And I was not allowed.

And it was so interesting, because at first, I was really like, wow, I'm not gonna give up my job and photography. But he taught me such a great lesson because what he did is he was trying to get me to realize I needed to give up the attachment to it and I needed to give up that identity. And that's what helped me so profoundly because so much of my identity, I mean, I knew since I was 10 years old, I wanted to do this job.

I had a little point in shoe camera. You know, my mom's a flight attendant for Pan Am. We traveled all over. And then when I was 15, I had a teacher. I was on the high school yearbook in the school newspaper and he said, you know, you could actually make a living at doing this. And from the first time I heard that word, photojournalist, I said, wow, that's what I want to do.

That's what I want to be. And I never deviated. I went to college for it. I got my photojournalism degree and I lived overseas for 10 years doing this. And then, but it became such a part of my identity. And it was interesting because this proved to help me later. And I don't know if you want me to get into the story.

Yeah, well, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, it sounds like a good story. It's a great story. It's a great story because I'm here to tell it. Much more of our conversation right after this quick break. Like the short, and it's full of a lot of interesting questions. What does happiness really mean? How do I get the most out of my time, pure honor, and then what really is the best cereal? These are the questions I seek to resolve on my weekly podcast, Life is Short with Justin Long. If you're looking for the answer to deep philosophical questions like, what is the meaning of life? I can't really help you, but I do believe that we really enrich our experience here by learning from others. And that's why in each episode, I like to talk with actors, musicians, artists, scientists,

and many more types of people about how they get the most out of life. We explore how they felt during the highs, and sometimes more importantly, the lows of their careers. We discuss how they've been able to stay happy during some of the harder times. But if I'm being honest, it's mostly just fun chats between friends about the important stuff. Like, if you had a sandwich named after you, what would be on it? Follow Life is short wherever you get your podcasts.

You can also listen to Add Free on the Amazon Music or Wondering App. So, I had, you know, now I'm back living in Asia. I had done a number of books. My life is exactly where I wanted it to be. When? It's at a certain time. Um, the year 2000. And that's when life throws you curveball, you know. I was working on another book. And I was in Laos. And I had just celebrated this amazing New Year celebration with friends. And I was out photographing the monks collecting arms that morning.

It's a beautiful sight in Long Pervang in Laos. But because I was doing that, I missed my bus. And so I jumped on the next bus. and it was such a life-changing experience. You know, I was on this very precipitous mountain road in Laos. And I saw this huge logging truck coming towards us. And we swirmed on this corner. And you know, this is just like a daily thing. You get in these buses and you're always like, whoa, that was close. And so I was actually thinking like, wow, that was close. But as we turned, the logging truck, like, came right into us and hit us and split the whole bus open, I was right at the point of impact. And it slammed into me and it sandwiched me in the seats. I remember waking up really briefly thinking,

oh my god, you know, my life and then I my first time was to grab my film and I couldn't move and I didn't even find this out until later but the bus had caught fire and everybody had gotten off the bus and two men came and pulled me off the bus. And this is yours later when I heard this, but as the man relayed this story to me, he was crying because he said, I've never seen anybody like that. Like we had to decide if you're going to keep your arm or not. You know, and they pulled me off. So the next thing I remember is I wake up on the side of the road and it is like a horrible

scene. People around me were killed, they had put sheets over them. People were just mayhem. And we're in this remote area, there's no healthcare, there's nowhere to go, and nobody would stop because there was guerrilla warfare, people were shooting. And so no one would even stop. And I knew I was in really bad shape. I knew my back was broken because I couldn't move,

I couldn't walk. And I could hardly breathe. And when I looked at my, to see what time it was, my whole arm was like half severed off. And I just thought, okay, don't go there. And I'm somebody that seriously feints at the sight of blood. Like, I can't even give blood because I'll pass out. So, this is it's, I really believe that without this skill, without this tool of being able to meditate, I would not have gotten through this experience because I just was so laser focused

It was like every minute that I've done on that meditation cushion all came to a head for this experience Because I looked at that and I said all right don't go there don't go into shock Do not pass out because you will never get out of this alive because I was by myself I mean I was with a busload of injured people, but I was on my own. And I asked somebody to go back on the bus and get my film, because I'm like, if I'm going to die, I want this at least some ID on me.

And if I live, I definitely want my photo. So it was just like so weird because that was my thought. And then these villagers came out after about an hour and dragged me to their village. And- Which must have been excruciatingly pain. Oh my God, it was unbelievable. Like I cannot even believe the pain I endured

because I had all my ribs on my left side were broken my back was broken my pelvis was shattered my Spleen was ruptured my arm is half severed off. I mean I had so many broken bones and I didn't realize the extent of my internal injuries until later So these villagers like they brought me in I was just like Breathe in breathe out like that was my whole entire focus and that's what I later. So these villagers, like they brought me in, I was just like, breathe in, breathe out. Like that was my whole entire focus. And that's what I, I just, all I, I just thought every breath is going to be my last because I had a pneumothorax, my lungs and my diaphragm are collapsed. So I really thought every breath was going to be my last. And

so this kid came in, a man to a cow shed and sewed my arm back up with an upholstery needle and thread, no painkillers, no anesthesia, nothing. And I'm grabbing him by his shirt collar. I'm like, we're in the golden triangle for God's sake. And we said, open your all smoking up here. You know what he's like? Wash cloth, you know, I'm like, oh my God.

So that was just unbelievable pain to endure. But then they put me in this room and lay me on this straw mat. Again, I'm just trying to breathe. I can't even speak at this point. And I was so moved because the villagers started to come in my room and stay with me. And they said, at the time there were no phones, there was nowhere to go,

there's no healthcare, there's nothing. And after 10 hours of laying there, I just knew that I wasn't gonna get out of the situation alive. It wasn't a resignation, it was just clear that there was, because they're like, oh, you have to make it through the night. I'm like, I'm not gonna live through the night. I know I'm not make it through the night. I'm like, I'm not going to live through the night. I know I'm not going to live through the night. So I wrote a note to my family and I told them how and where I died because it was really important to me to let them know that I didn't die alone and I didn't die in fear.

And I really felt like this culmination of everything that I'd practiced. And you know, these, it was like I was so aware of every single moment. And I've honestly never felt like really so alive. And, and then I let go. And it was so beautiful. I really believe I went to this other side. You know, it was just this complete freedom in letting go.

And there was no more pain. It just simply wasn't my time. This British aid worker just happened to be driving by the middle of the night. He just found my passport and he said, Alesson, wake up, wake up. I'm going to get you out of here. I I just said, there's not time, you know, and he said, okay, and he put me in the back of his pickup truck, like, was serrated back, you know, and this guy, blesses heart, drove me eight hours in the back of this pickup truck. Which must have also been torture.

Oh, torture. I mean, we both, we, we didn't think I was going to live, but I thought, at least he's getting my body out of here, you know. To have a thought like that. Yeah. At least he's getting my body out of it. That's what I thought. And he called the American Embassy and he said, you've got to meet us at the Laudfrench Bridge to open this to get us to Thailand.

He said, there's absolutely nowhere to go. There's no hospital. There's no healthcare here in Laos. And you're going to have a dead American on your hands. And, you know, I was listening to the car radio like, okay, you know, but I really, I thought that. And I also had this other amazing thought because I was looking out the window and I just saw like, there were so many stars and I just thought, this is the last thing I'm going to see and it's so beautiful. But I had an interesting experience, not to segue or anything,

but I'll tell the end of how that all turned out. But there was an experience of when I was doing all these interviews with llamas and such. And that's the interesting thing. So many of these llamas are now out of Tibet, and they're here teaching in the know, in the West and in Indian Nepal. Lama's are basically advanced Tibetan teachers. Exactly. So I was in Darjeeling and I was with a Tibetan friend and was pouring rain things. And I went to this monastery to meet this this color rimpuchet. He used to be the Dalai Lama's teacher and his last

life is a very old man. And his caretaker came out and said, I'm really sorry. He's too ill to see you. And I left, you know, disappointed that I didn't get to meet him, photograph him and sure not he died three months later. So this is now years later. I'm in Darm Sala, India, where the Dalai Lama lives. I was at some of his teachings and this, I heard that they had found the reincarnation of this little Kalo Rinpoche and I thought, oh, I got to go see this. So I went to his room and his mother answered the door and he's just this little monk because you know, he's reincarnated but he's still a kid. So he's on the bed and he's playing Gameboy and he looks up and he goes and his mother said oh this photographer wants to meet you and

he looked up kind of annoyed because I'd interrupted his game and he goes oh I remember you you came to see me it was pouring rain my caretaker is with making mes, these little dumplings. I was too ill to see you then, but I'll see you now. And, you know, there's just been, seriously, swear, and this was just such, like, I actually was thinking of the story while I was in the back of the truck because I felt like, at that time, when I just let go, I really honestly believed that all my beliefs sort of became truths. Like there's just no verbiage to really describe this, but I really got how connected we are. And like all of my work, all my my photography and everything is really looking at how are we connected as humans, you know? And it just, I don't

know, I don't know how to describe it, but it just gave me this feeling that something lives on with all of us, not saying that you walked down the street and you see your loved one walking down, but it just, I don't know, I just felt like really okay with the fact that I was going to to die and So anyway again, it wasn't my time. I get to this Thai hospital, which is on the border and Just one doctor in this hospital and he said oh my god I've never seen this before which is really not what you want to hear your doctor say shows me the sex rate He said your heart is being literally torn out. He goes, I don't know how you just survive for 17 hours.

Your spleen is ruptured. He said, people die from this. And like right then, I flatlined and this guy just got me in, brought me back. So I woke up, I was three weeks in intensive care in this hospital in Thailand. And by then, friends had flown in. My family had flown in my family had flown in and because they didn't still didn't think I was going to make it. And the pain at that point, you know, was just off the charts because-

But didn't they have meds in the ICU? Oh, yeah. Oh, I was on a morphine drip and I mean, it's just there's, you know, you just, It's just when you're that damaged, it's really hard to get comfortable. It's really interesting because each one takes a certain hierarchy. You're like, oh my God, a fracture pelvis. Then it's not even until later, you start feeling like, oh yeah, that's spinal fracture. It was tough. It was you know, just, it was tough. It was really tough. So here I was finally metabacked back to San Francisco where I'm from and was given the

very grim prognosis that I probably never walk again. And you know, here I was an avid scuba diver, kayak, or done avar space camp twice, photojournalist. And I was bedridden, I was bedridden for months on a morphine drip, staring at a ceiling. And I had more than 30 surgeries. And I remember this doctor coming in saying, you better think about what you wanna do with your life now because you're never gonna work as a photographer again.

You're probably never gonna walk properly again. And I said, really, because I plan on climbing Mount Kilimanjaro from my birthday next year. And I didn't even know where that came from because I didn't even know him about Kilimanjaro, but I just I don't know. I just got focused on that. And it was kind of like an effu to this guy, you know, and he I saw that I needed to become my own advocate. So I got rid of all these doctors that I was working with and I got new physical therapists and I came in and this I can't remember us on crutches or wheelchair at this point, but saying, you know, to this physical therapist, tell me what I can do, not what I can't

do. And I got off these crazy drugs, these, you know, that they put you on. And I just brought my, you know, alternative healing into it, you know, cranial sacrum acupuncture, meditation was huge. Like as much as I was dealing with the pain, at least it reminded me that I was alive and I rode with that. And it was really amazing because they had me on more fiend percussive bike and I just, I knew that I had to get strength of mine for strength of body.

And it was just really worked for me. It was really hard and really challenging But I worked so hard if I wasn't crying at the end of physical therapy. I wasn't working hard enough and So you dropped the meds Started to feel the pain. Yeah, I just went forward in physical therapy So yeah, so when I couldn't photograph I wrote about this experience and I wrote this, you know know the article for outside magazine that really took off and it just kind of went all over. It's like they're most read article at the time and so it took me a year and a half and 30 surgeries but I finally got back out kayaking again. I went to glacier bay and I was walking by this point. Kind of, but I was like, I was all about like, what can I use? At least

I could get my upper body strength going. Like I would work like the hard thing for this is like kept having a surgery. Then I'd get sort of better from that than I'd have another surgery. And I'd have to like, you know, it wasn't like all at once. So, you just skipped the pain meds after surgery? Um, or would you wean yourself quickly? No, for me it was quickly, but I believed it depends because once I had another surgery, then if I needed it, I really believe in Western medicine along with what I was doing. And I had had a lot of experience with Tibetan medicine, you know, where they feel your pulse. And I had had, I'd had a whole slew of illnesses before, you

know, malaria, hepatitis, typhoid, dengue fever. And, you know, it was, again, kind of more prep-work, I think, for getting through this, you know, but So I'd had some experience with that, but then it was just It was amazing because two years after the accident I got to the topic Hill, Mingerro, which was really huge You know was really walking and carrying camera equipment and huge, you know, was really walking and carrying camera equipment. And how did that happen just through PT or physical therapy? And what was the main, because the doctor told you you weren't going to be able to do this. So what happened?

And I don't understand that. I feel like there's something in our medical care that maybe they want to cover themselves or, you know, they don't get a lot of hope and I found People within the system that had to believe in me, you know that really How'd you do that just by shopping around mm-hmm. Yeah, and It's interesting because I didn't have a lot of experience. I had never broken a bone before You know, I didn't have a lot of experience with this, but I was also in an HMO in California that I think people feel like once you're given this doctor, you're wedded to them and I'm like,

no, even if you're in the same hospital, even if you're next door, I want somebody that has a different mindset. I had some very negative people working with me, and then I found incredibly positive people that when I came in, even my physical therapist me, and then I found incredibly positive people that when I came in, even my physical therapist said, wow, it's people like you that make me want to be a physical therapist because I'm like, let's do this. Work me harder.

Let's tell me what I can do, not what I can't do. And it was awesome. I would get back to kayak. I remember the first time I went skiing again, but what was interesting with Kilimanjaro is that I felt like I had had my, that to me proved I had my strength back, but I still didn't have my mind back.

And I still had this sort of post-traumatic stress about being on a bus. And also a lot of people had responded to this to this article and the writing I was doing like telling me these horrible stories that had happened to them which really hurt my heart because it sort of made me like afraid to go back out there in a way and so again that was you know I was really dependent on you know meditating in my practice. And it was so interesting to work through pain and what were the colors of pain and how

was it? You didn't buy that colors of pain. You know, I would meditate like, when the pain is so bad, it's really interesting, you know, it was like trying to work into the center of it and trying to this idea of extricating it from your body or looking at, you know, there's certain viewpoints of like, you look at the colors of what it is. And it doesn't feel so personal anymore. Yeah, you become less attached. It was just a very interesting, it was interesting. So then what I needed to do was to kind of get my mind back. And so-

Sounds like you had your mind with all this meditation. Well, what I needed to do, and this was really interesting for me, is to, and it's not for everybody, but I needed to get back on that bus. Well, in cognitive behavioral therapy, they would call this exposure therapy. So, you got to go back and... And I knew that's what I needed to do because I kept reliving this whole negative experience over and over and over through dreams and nightmares.

So I went back, what was really cool is I had this Simon in Thailand it was kayaking in southern Thailand. So it brought me back and I went back to visit the doctor that had saved my life because when I had this herniated heart and I flatlined this guy just went in and he like held my heart in his hand like actually brought me back. And so I got to this hospital to thank him and it was a very emotional back. And so I got to this hospital to thank him and it was a very emotional, oh my gosh, like to thank him and to be there. And he looked at me and he goes, you're so short. He said, I know I do. You were so small because I'd been like bedridden. And here I was like walking. And so we laughed about that. But my next stop was to go up, oh my God, and this guy was so cool. Like when I was in Thailand, like the initial after the accident,

and I couldn't walk, and I was bedridden, he said, is there anything you want to do before you're metta backed out of here? Because I don't think that you're ever going to come back. You knew much I loved Asia, you know, and he said, I don't think you're going to come back here. And that was heartbreaking, but I was so out of it, but I said, I really wanna go to a monastery.

I really wanted to just, I don't know, give things. I was filled with such immense gratitude. It was really interesting. It was hard for me to break out of this. And it wasn't just the drugs. It was really like this. Once you've had, like dipped your toe into feeling your own mortality, that extent, it was so intense.

All of this seems so peripheral and seen so trite when you've had such an incredibly profound experience. And so he was so amazing. He arranged for this ambulance and these guys carried me into a monastery in Thailand. Can you believe that? These doctors wouldn't even send names to pick me up at the hospital at the airport when I was met back back. So the healthcare and the attentiveness to what they pay attention to in a place like Asia was really interesting to me. And that's where I feel like I just wish we had more of that in our medical system. So...

You went back and got on the bus in last? So yeah, so I go back to the village and I'm standing there like feeling very emotional like because there's nothing there is just this cow shed and the villagers are all looking me like what's her problem and so I show them the picture of my arm with hundreds of stitches in and they all like they're facelied up and then they realized who I was and they all started weeping like the all the villagers started coming out and they couldn't believe I was alive they couldn't believe I was alive, they couldn't believe I was walking. And then they pushed this guy in front and he was the kid who sewed my arm back on. And it was so emotional.

You know, I was like, oh, cup chai la la, you know, like thank you so much. And we're crying. And I said, I'm going to do something for you. And so I had been asked by different agents here in New York to they had, oh, they read my story because when I climbed Killy, people had read the outside article. And so it was really cool because people were there cheering me on like, oh, I read your story, I read your story, even though I was doing this alone. And that was really heartening. And then the

editor was so great, he was so supportive, he had me write a follow up article. And I felt like those articles were very serve this high test, testosterone like, oh, I survived this, like the angle. And for me, now that I process this, I felt like there was a much deeper, more spiritual aspect to it as well. And so when these agents were calling saying, oh, you should write a book, you should write a book. And I was like, I'm out shooting. I'm finally getting back out there. I don't want to write a book. But then I got this great agent here. And I wrote, I ended up writing a pretty lengthy proposal. And I thought it was a really back burner project. And so I

handed it to my agent here. And then I went off to Antarctica for six weeks and he said call me before you get on that ship. So I remember calling him from Terragil Fuego and he's like, oh we have a bidding war going. You know, like who do you want to go with? And so I was on this ship and I did the ship to short call and he said, okay, who do you want to go with? And I said, I'm in the middle of Antarctica, all I can see are penguins outside of the port hall. So I said, I think we have to go with penguins. So that's you.

That's who published my book and I did it on that basis because I was like, ah, the signs are all around. But what was great is this book turned into like what's the name of the book? It's called learning to breathe one woman's journey of spirit and survival and it's really It's a love letter to all these people. Let's save my life, you know Also, when you said the folks in law, so I'm gonna do something for you. That's what you meant

No, I wanted to do something else for them, but I wanted to do something bigger. So I wrote this book and I showed them the book, but what I did is it inspired me to start a nonprofit. And the nonprofit is called Faces of Hope, Faces of Hope.org. And I just wanted to give back to the communities that I photographed, man. I felt like all my work is about trying to help other people and tell their stories and hope that somebody sees the images and maybe wants to do something and help make a difference. But then I thought, why not me?

And what this is is I go around the country and I speak, and if I was doing this book tour, I didn't want to just show pictures to get people riled up. I wanted to give them a place where they actually could help. And so my nonprofit helps women and children in crisis through education and health care. And the first thing I did was bring five American doctors and $10,000 worth of medical supplies to this little village, so other people didn't have to die in this area. And it was important for me to bring the doctors to sort of help show them what to do.

Maybe not using a pulse-free needle. Right. It must have been amazing for you to go back to this place of so much pain and suffering for you. And just to show up reasonably, I guess, healthy and with a bunch of doctors and helping the people who helped you, that must have been a big moment. Well, what was really, yeah, it was really big and it was so beautiful because they have

this thing called a bossy ceremony where they'll tie a white string around your wrist, you know, to show this connection. It's a very boposent thing, but, um, or Buddhist thing. And they, the whole village came out. Like, I had like so many strings on my arm, and it was so beautiful. And yet so sad to me because I, my next part of my journey was to go and, and find Alan Guy, the man who had driven me, because this man didn't have to do that. He, you know, when I was laying there and this kid was sewing my arm back on, a woman from the German embassy had been behind the bus, and she came in and I was like, I can't

breathe, I can't breathe, I need oxygen. And she's like, oh, you can't breathe just because you're afraid. And I'm like, yeah, you know, I'm like dying if this rated by the side of the road. And she left, she just left me there to die because she didn't want blood in her car. And yet this man found me and he drove me eight hours in the back of his pickup truck, you know, so every day I think Seriously, I do think this what kindness would I do for a stranger? What kindness would you do? You know this guy went so out of his way and We did keep in touch and his son was killed on that same road

Hit by a drunk driver on a motorcycle so on that same road hit by a drunk driver on a motorcycle. So as I came with these doctors in this journey, I was gonna continue on to Vincenne because I heard he and his wife, his aloation wife that lived there. And I was so excited to meet them and Von, his wife met me and I'm like, where's Alan? He had been hit and killed on that same road.

And I never got to see him again. Whoa. And the last line of the book says, Alan, if you're out there, find me. I owe you a beer because we had said, like, when I'm in the truck, I'm like, if I ever get out of this, I'm buying you beer, you know? Yeah. And I think why, you know, why did I survive? He didn't, his son didn't, and he was doing great things there. He worked there detonating landmines, and it's... That's painful for me that I didn't get to see him again, but I love his wife, and it

was really beautiful to see her and thank her. She was in the car, you know at the time too, so You know these people literally saved my life. She was in the car when they were driving you exactly. Yeah, yeah, so um You know it's It's just It's life and so what's interesting is I got on this bus. And one of the greatest. You got back on the same bus. I literally got back on the bus leaving this village,

because that was key for me. You know, once I said goodbye to the villagers, I needed to get back on this bus because I wanted to confront that fear. And one of my big takeaways with all this meditation is that, you know, somebody just asked me this, like, you don't seem to feel a lot of fear. And I had to think about it for a minute.

And I'm like, I don't. I'm in some really crazy hairy situations and I've had some really close calls. But I tend to not really feel fear because what I've really come to terms with through this meditation is that fear is just a thought. It's really just a thought because if you're having this fear of what could happen or the unknown, it just let it go. Notice it and let it go. I mean, if you're lying dying eviscerated by the side of the road, that's a good reason to feel fear. But when I got back on the bus, I really didn't feel it, you know, and then the interesting thing is we actually clipped another bus as we were coming around the

corner. Everybody screamed. And I thought, wow, this is so, you know, I can't believe I'm living this again. And yet nothing happened. And the girl said to me, next to me, said, wow, that was so close. And I like, you have no idea. You know, like, that's what's incredible. It's like one second can change your life or not. It sounds like they need to shut this road down. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's a, it's such a dangerous road. But I've been back on it since they have fixed some of the potholes, but it's a very

precipitous mountain road. I mean, and there's like very little, it's very curvy. There's very little room for passing. And it's, it's also interesting and allows for some reason. And this is what happened with us. They tend to not honk their horn like in India. They're constantly honking. And there's a reason for that. They're letting you know, like they're coming around the corner. And our guy didn't do that. How's your body now? It's good. I mean, I have a very high bar.

I just got back from South Sudan the day before yesterday. I mean, I'm constantly on the road. I'm traveling all the time and carrying all my equipment. I'm at the gym every day. I mean, I'm doing great. There's certain things that, you know, I still have pain with, but again, I do have a high bar about what I want to be doing.

I'm not at a desk job. So, yeah, I'm just so happy. I'm back doing what I love, you know. I mean, I feel really, really blessed about that. So yeah, there's definitely, there's just always challenges, you know, I mean, it's, but you know, it's, it's hard. There's different hard things. There's the physical hard, but I think, you know, there's so many challenging things. There's the physical hard, but I think there's so many challenging things. I mean,

I just came back from covering a million South Sudanese refugees. That's heartbreaking. I covered the Ruyanga a couple months ago, and I had a really hard time pulling out of that. Sometimes you just look at this human suffering and go, what are we doing to ourselves? You know, but I just came out with a new book, a photo book called Human Tribe, and it's really looking at after being now to 150 countries, you know, how different we might look, but really how much were the same the world over?

And, you know, we all want to love and be loved. We all want a little money in our pocket enough to get by. We want safety and health, ourself, our friends, our family, education for our children. I mean, it's really not that different or that difficult. We make it difficult, you know, but it's everywhere I go. It's really the same, you know, but it's everywhere I go, it's really the same, you know, and it's just this idea of wanting to celebrate our diversity and, you know, how beautiful we all

are. And that's for me what I feel like now my purpose in being coming back here is just to continue with this kind of work of really, you know, trying to say it, you know, at the end of this road, I think that we're going to get how connected we are, you know, that we need to get past this. Do you think it'll make a difference because we've been killing and raping and maming each other since, you know, we descended from MAPES? I know. I totally agree with that. That's where I feel like there's...

Yeah, I just feel like there's something that continues on that... For whatever reason, we're living through that experience here and now in this room, but I just think that there's something else that there's a core of something that goes on. So you're not sure necessarily that humanity is going to get attacked together, but that there's something beyond what we're experiencing now as your point. That's what I personally feel. Yes, I do feel that there's there's something evolutionizing here that we might not necessarily seeing this. We're probably all going to end up in some tar pit like those dinosaurs. But I just think that there's something more to all this. I mean, there's just things that have come across my path that have made me believe that.

I want to give a chance to, because you mentioned a bunch of your books, but let's consolidate it and put it all in one place. I call this the plug zone. I like to let people plug to their hearts to light. So give us all the books and then where we can find you online. Okay. My books are all on Amazon or at your local bookstore, which I love to support. My latest book is called Human Tribe. My memoir is called Learning to Breathe,

One Woman's Journey of Spirit and Survival. My nonprofit is Faces of Hope.org. And my website is www.alisonright.com. And you mentioned a few earlier books too. Yeah, yeah. Those, the spirit of Tibet, a simple monk, the Dalai Lama. I did a book on children around the world called Faces of Hope. I have a big color copy table book, face to face, porch to the human spirit. And the other two that I mentioned, and I've done three travel books for National Geographic, you know, but China, London, Great Britain.

So, yeah, I think that's sort of where Alice has brought me, but I always wish I was better at this, you know. At what? at this, you know. At what? Uh, you know, meditating and going deeper and, you know, Sounds like you were able to apply. All the stuff that the rest of us are doing is like, it's kind of like academic, you know, I mean,

I'm, you know, I might be less prone to temper tantrums because I meditate, which is important. I'm not downplaying that. But I haven't had my body mangled in a bus crash and Tibet with no medical care. That is where the rubber quite literally hits the road. So I don't know what you're talking about when you say you're wish you were better at meditation. You're walking quite literally example of how meditation can be useful in the most extreme environment.

So thank you, thank you for doing this. I appreciate it. It's a pleasure to meet you. Yeah, you too. I really do appreciate the time. And it was really, I loved your book. Thank you. Yeah, I appreciate it.

Yeah. It was, I love that you took it in context of, um, kind of like, this isn't my thing, but, you know, and, and that's, I think that's just really important, you know, like how do we, how do we reach other people that are just, you know, trying to get through the day because everybody has their own logging truck, you know, like I have my story and people are like, oh, whoa, yeah, but you got hit by logging truck. And I'm like, yeah, you know what? Every day people have a logging truck, you know, and even with some of the things I go

through and people say, oh, God, well, you've gone through so much. And I'm like, yeah, you know what? And in Grown toenail still can hurt, you know? It's just it's all perspective You know people's pain is people's pain. That's exactly right and in a universe where we're all born to die Everybody you know is gonna go away and you are gonna go away We're all gonna be dealing with logging trucks and so your life might have been relatively seamless thus far ingrown ingrown toenails notwithstanding, you know, that we need to prepare ourselves for life's up and down, up and down.

So, yeah, well thank you for doing this. My pleasure, thank you. Okay, that does it for another edition of the 10% happier podcast. If you liked it, please take a minute to subscribe, rate us. Also if you want to suggest Topics you think we should cover or guests that we should bring in hit me up on Twitter at Dan B Harris Importantly, I want to thank the people who produced this podcast Lauren Efron Josh Cohen and the rest of the folks here at ABC Who helped make this thing possible? We have tons of other podcasts you can check them out at ABC news podcasts

of other podcasts, you can check them out at ABCnewspodcasts.com. I'll talk to you next Wednesday. Hey, hey prime members. You can listen to 10% happier early and ad free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad free with 1-replus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, do us a solid and tell us all about yourself by completing a short survey at 1dory.com slash survey.