Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris - 273: A Master Class in Resilience | George Mumford

Episode Date: August 12, 2020

Today we have a master class in resilience. My guest is George Mumford, who has overcome some towering difficulties in his own life, including an addiction to drugs. He went on to become a legendary meditation teacher who has worked with athletes such as Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant. We talk about how we can all develop the skill of resilience through meditation. Just like the Buddha did, George loves to teach using lists. You’ll hear him discuss the Three C’s, the Four A’s, and the Five Super Powers. You will also hear him talk about how he has had to apply these skills afresh in the past few months, when he has experienced death in his family, as well as the death of his friend Kobe Bryant. As you may have heard me mention in Monday’s episode, we are dedicating this whole week to the interrelated themes of resilience and grit. If you missed it, go check out Monday’s episode with psychologist Angela Duckworth, who wrote a whole book on grit. One last note: George has a fantastic course in the Ten Percent Happier app all about learning how to face high-pressure situations, such as the one we are in right now. See details on links within the show notes below.  Where to find George Mumford online:  Website: https://georgemumford.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/gtmumford Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MINDFULATHLETE/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/george.mumford/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfAqkXr3IpLgiNw88qjLKtA To listen to George Mumford's course in the Ten Percent Happier app (available only to app subscribers), visit https://10percenthappier.app.link/GeorgeMumfordPerformancePod. Other Resources Mentioned: The Way of Man by Martin Buber: https://www.amazon.com/Way-Man-According-Teaching-Hasidism/dp/0806500247  Maya Angelou: https://www.mayaangelou.com/ The Biology of Belief by Bruce H. Lipton: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B011AE5OY6/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1 Overcoming Adversity / "At Home with George" April 23rd Edition: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0T-Ie8nB-qQ Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Frontline Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/george-mumford-273 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Before we jump into today's show, many of us want to live healthier lives, but keep bumping our heads up against the same obstacles over and over again. But what if there was a different way to relate to this gap between what you want to do and what you actually do? What if you could find intrinsic motivation for habit change that will make you happier instead of sending you into a shame spiral? Learn how to form healthy habits without kicking your own ass unnecessarily by taking our healthy habits course over on the 10% happier app. It's taught by the Stanford psychologist Kelly McGonical and the Great Meditation Teacher Alexis

Santos to access the course. Just download the 10% happier app wherever you get your apps or by visiting 10% calm. All one word spelled out. Okay on with the show. to Baby, this is Kiki Palmer on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcast. From ABC, this is the 10% happier podcast. I'm Dan Harris. Today we have a master class in resilience. My guest is George Mumford who has overcome some towering difficulties in his own life, including an addiction to drugs.

He went on to become a legendary meditation teacher who's worked with athletes, such as Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant. In this episode, we talk about how we can all develop the skill of resilience through meditation. Just like the Buddha did, George loves to teach using lists. You'll hear him discuss the three Cs, the four A's and the five superpowers. You'll also hear him talk about how he has had to apply these skills afresh in the past few months in his own life, during which he's experienced death in his family, as well as the death of his friend, Kobe Bryant. As you may have heard me mention in Monday's episode, we're dedicating this whole week

to the interrelated themes of resilience and grit. If you missed it, go check out Monday's episode with psychologist, Angela Duckworth, who wrote a whole book on grit. One last note before we dive in here. George has a fantastic course on the 10% happier app. All about learning how to face high pressure situations such as the one we are in right now. So we'll include a link to that in the show notes. In the meantime, here we go with my friend, George Mufford. George, it's nice to see you. Good to see you too. We were just chatting at the last time we saw each other.

It was over Indian food and right before the world fell apart in the winter. So I'm curious. I want to ask you a question. I've been asking a lot of people recently, but I don't meet it in a perfunctory way. I meet it in a real way. I want to hear the answer, which is how are you so much has happened since I last saw you including the pandemic and of course the all of the tumult following the killing of George Floyd. So I just want to check and get a sense of how you are. I'm really good. Actually, I'm feeling great. And I say that in spite of everything that's going on, I feel really, really, really great.

And I am able, as I like to say, hold the herd and generate the hope. So I'm able to feel things. So a few things have happened since the last time I saw you. I think it was after Kobe Bryant had died. So I had, that was like, I say, the last Sunday in January. And then the next week, one of my high school friends passed away. Then the week after that, my sister passed away. So I've been dealing with a lot of that even before the COVID thing hit.

But one of the things that I noticed, and I was very hesitant to share with people, was that even though those things happened, I was experiencing peace that really didn't get touched by those things. And I had done, I mean, just a little self-disclosure, I knew when my mother passed away, it would be very challenging, because when I was living at the Cambridge Insight Meditation and Center in 89, I lived there for six years. It was November 22nd, 1989.

I started dealing with what they call a death awareness meditation practice. Where you start to reflect on the fact that we're all going to die, we don't get beyond death and that sort of thing because I knew when my mother passed it was going to be really challenging and she didn't pass into 2001. So I had a little time to work on it like 12 years and I think that I continue to work on that. And I think it manifested in 2020, where I can see the fruits of the practice. So a lot of times you do these practices, you develop these ways of being. And you're not really sure, or I'm not really sure,

how it's going to hold up when the crap hits the fan. So you said a lot there. I just want to point one thing out and then follow up on a couple of things you said. A lot of people were upset when Kobe Bryant passed away and the helicopter crashed. The vast majority of those people were simply fans. You actually knew him and taught him how to meditate. So it was a different, I just wanna highlight that that was personal for you, not just something that happened as a fan. Yes, yes, it was very personal for me because we were really close.

And I got to work with him or work with the Lakers but also I've had you know just when I was writing my book He had called me and he asked me to come out there To Newport Beach where he lived and hang out for a couple of days because he wanted to start work It he was still it was in this next the last season in the league But he was about ready to retire. So I got out there and I got to hang out with him a little bit and talk about things and to be interaction with him

in his own space where he didn't have bodyguards and there wasn't a crowd. It was just he and I and the people he worked with. But on that trip, he would still work with the Lakers. So he asked me. So I actually got an helicopter with him and took the helicopter to LA because he had a game. So we were really close and when I heard about his death, I was actually at the University of Richmond watching a women's basketball game when I got the text. And I just felt like, oh, this

is a bad joke. You know, this is the same, right? And so that's how I found out about it. And it was pretty devastating in that the same time. I feel like I could continue to do what I needed to do and create space for that hurt and generate the hope. And the first thing I said was, I hope his family's not with him. And then I found out his daughter and seven other souls were in a helicopter. You've now used this phrase a couple of times and it was on my mind to kind of dig in with you on it, hurt and hope.

Because just to what I asked you how you were, you said you were doing great, notwithstanding a litany of unfortunate events, including Kobe, because just to what I asked you how you were, you said you were doing great, not with standing, litany of unfortunate events, including Kobe, your sister, COVID, all the racial unrest in the country we could go on. So in describing how you managed to feel great in the face of all this, you talked about holding hurt and cultivating hope, I believe, was the phrase. So can you say generating hope? Can you say a lot more about that? Yes. So when I think about, so how I related to Kobe's death was, obviously,

there was devastation and felt sad and everything. And then when I started, I get to interpret what it means, right? I get to interpret. So I choose to interpret things in a way that empower me, that inspire me. And so when I look at the fact that, you know, knowing him, if he was on the helicopter and he started dying,

he didn't, he'd be devastated. And if he died and she didn't, he'd be devastated. And if he died and she didn't, they'd be devastated. They went together and they went with their friends, people they were close to. And I find that in his death, he's having such a tremendous positive impact on the world. That I'm not sure sure if he'd lived 100 years, he would be able to have the same impact. So I tend to look at things from that perspective and of course his wife and his family and all of us, I'm gonna miss them. I mean, once I said things that I was planning on doing

and it's like when you wait too long with, and I had talked to actually, and the year before during the All Star Break, I got interviewed for my college roommate, to actually, and the year before during the All-Star break, I got interviewed for my college roommate, Dr. J. Jewish Irving, and I was talking to him, and I said, you know, I have this idea that I'd like to have a conversation with you, Kobe, and MJ,

before it was just sitting down and having a conversation, and he said, well, let's do it. He was ready to do it on All-Star weekend, but it wasn't appropriate, because I hadn't really talked anybody and like wasn't prepared for it. But that was one of the things that I was looking forward to it. Of course, if we're able to do that, Colby won't be able to be there. So that kind of reminds me of the idea that there's no guarantee. We just have today, we just have this moment.

And the impermanence, I feel like the COVID and all of these things are amplifying or putting everything on steroids, but people would die all the time. Racial injustice has been going on forever. I mean, there's not new to me. I've had this experience all my life. So, and it doesn't mean that I get hardened to it, and I don't get upset about it. It just means that things are impermanent. You know, we have this illusion of severance, which prevents us from

seeing the humanity, the soul of the other person, and that suffering happens. You know, you get old, you die, you get sick. I mean, it happens. It's just what life is and and the challenge is how can we say yes to that and at the same time generate the hope to go on and to be as present, be as loving, be as a compassionate as I can to myself and others. So for me, it's like this is an opportunity to really express that kindness, that compassion, that love of life and getting beyond the illusion of separateness when we're able to see that I one. Right on the simplest, simplest, possible level, it's a profound making of lemonade out of lemons. Yes. And making it, you know, this is a book that I love to read. I read over and over. It's called The Way of Man by Martin Boomer.

And in that book he talks about the idea that we can do what no angel can do. And what that is is we can hallow things or we can make things holy. So it doesn't matter what we do. It's the intention. It's how much love, how much holiness, how much compassion or love we can bring to it, that can be transformative for ourselves and for others. So it doesn't matter what the situation is, can we show up and be loving, be compassionate, be kind, be joyful, and be a quantumist. In other words, just all experiences are of equal value. Can we show up for everything? Good to buy the ugly, what's pleasant, what's unpleasant, what's boring. Can we just bring that zest for life, that joy for being alive to everything? You talked about illusion of separateness. This is one of these, this idea of interconnectedness or being one with the universe, it very

quickly devolves into cliche here, but there's a reason cliche has become cliche because they're true. I have wrestled with this one, not the cliche aspect of it. I've wrestled with it from like actually understanding the illusion of separeness on a molecular level myself, but the way you phrased it, I had a minute there of actually getting it. You weren't saying that I'm magically,

you know, subatomically, although I probably am, connected to you or anybody else. What you were saying there is if we look at what I heard, at least, and he'll tell me if I was wrong. If we look at our own inner mess, our own, I often use the phrase sort of dumpster fire of sadness, hurt, greed, whatever patterns we have, and we get comfortable and cool enough with that,

then we inexorably start to see that everybody else has got their own dumpster fire, and that's one way at least, again, you'll tell me if I'm saying this correctly, to get over this illusion that we are these atomized separate egos looking out at the world behind fretful eye sockets. But in fact, we actually have this massive amount in common.

Yes, and it's solar-sol, if you will. Mass and piece to mass and piece, what I talk about. Just like me, everybody wants to be happy. I don't think people do things to hurt themselves. I think because of ignorance, because of craving, we know what the causes of suffering are. But every once in a while, we get beyond that illusion of separateness.

So you're in New York. So 9-11. Yeah, people went into a building. You have people, you see it every once in a while, we get beyond the illusion of separateness. We're not going in there saying, oh, that's a Democrat, that's a Republican, that's a Buddhist, that's a Jewish person, that's a male, that's a female. That's a Buddhist. That's a Jewish person. That's a male. That's a female. They live in my hood. They don't live in my hood. It's none of that. It's just the movement of the heart that just wants to we get beyond the illusion of sepuleness. And we know that I and the other are one. If they suffer, I suffer. And you can see it in the demonstration. You see people stepping up with the George Floyd and realizing, that's just not a black man, that's me, that's all of us.

And so we get beyond that here in where I live in Massachusetts, you saw it during the Mouthon bombing, where you had people actually wanting towards the explosion, not away from it. And you've seen it in the hurricanes and the fires where people risk their life to help other people. And of course, first responders do that every day. Whether it's a hospital worker or police officers or a fireman, I mean, I have family members

that are nurses, police officers, friends of the firemen and family that end, you, and nurse and doctors, all of those first responders, and then even people that are just serving in a quiet way, whether they're working in the stores or nursing homes or whatever, that every once in a while we get beyond that illusion of separators, I only have enough to take care of me. I'm not my brother's keeper, like in the the Bible it says, you are your brothers keeper.

It's like, it's community. And we know this that people who achieve greatness and perform at a high level, they have this ability to be in optimism and hope, see things as challenges. But they also have a social support system, but they have a support system where they have people to help them. Like, we think about what when we go to grocery store and we get something, we don't think about the farmers, we don't think about all of the people that drove it there,

people who put it on a plane or train or truck. All of that is interconnected. There's an interbeing. There's an interbeing. There's an inter-ar as Sinai was talking about that we all need each other and we show up. But there's other people behind the scenes that's making it possible, like even on this call, there's people behind this call that we may not be seeing or all of the work

that went into it before we even got here. So there's an interconnectivity that we just conveniently drop off all of the work that went into it before we even got here. So every that is an interconnectivity that we just conveniently drop off and say, okay, it's the big eye of me in mind or you know as a community, we say, oh, it's the quarterback or the pitcher, but we're not talking about all the other folks that are involved that make it possible for that one person. So we celebrate the unity or the oneness of one person instead of realizing that yeah, that one person we may designate as a person who is a focal point

or the leader but without a supporting staff and supporting cast, it wouldn't be possible. pointing cast it wouldn't be possible. You see you make such a good and down to earth case for connection lack of separation on a fundamental important levels. I want to ask your question. I'm a little nervous to ask it because I don't want it to either seem to be or to actually be insensitive but I picked up on the detail that you have family members who are in part of the police force. And I, I just wonder, can you generate a sense of connection with or compassion for the officers who are involved in killing George Floyd? George Floyd.

Yes, I can. And at the same time, it's, it's when you see other as other as. When you see the whole person like yourself, then you're not able to do that. But when you're ignorant and when you're coming from a belief system, but I even get more record than that, what would possess someone to treat someone like that or to shoot people? An arm, they've got to be a belief system. A paradigm that they're operating from that says

that that's okay. And that, you know, it's, what's the difference between, I think it was Robert Liff didn't wrote a book about, he called it doubling during the, the Germans when they were dealing with concentration camp inmates. And they could take a baby and slam it up against the wall and kill it and then they go home and play

with their little kid There's a certain level of being able to cut out parts of ourself or just not see The other person has just like me this person to human being and so when we're able to see that we're not able to do those atrocities When we get a conscious and of course the gentleman, the road, amazing grace, you know, he had slave ships. And at some point, he found the real deal, or he woke up. And so, who to say that those castes that did those atrocities actually wouldn't wake up sometime before now. And so there's a human being there. Now, their way of being is not conducive. And should I am I angry at them and my frustrated and my hoping that they,

you know, that they get take care of yes, but it's not like they're separate from me because the reality is I have those same, I call it the farewell for the love world. If I'm feeding the farewell, then I'm capable of doing the same thing. I'm capable of doing the same thing if I'm in that mindset, if I'm feeding that wolf of fear, that insecurity or seeing itself or other because it's coming out of fear that they're doing that. It's not love not compassion But until we can get behind this illusion of separateness

That's possible It's possible that we could do heinous things to each other. So we we all have those seeds And so to say that they have them we don't That's not entirely true, but it depends on how we direct our attention, how we train our mind and our heart. And if we're focusing on love and like the greatest commandment in the Bible,

it's the love of God with all your heart, mind and soul, and the love of your neighbor as yourself. Now, and I would say that's the problem because we don't love ourselves. We definitely don't love our neighbors. And so it comes back to the inner game of if I love myself and if I can see myself and others, then maybe I have more compassion and maybe there's a way where even though it's required for me to act a certain way of behavior, a certain way, I could say no. And the space between stimulus and response.

My value is value life, human beings, to be kind, generous, and I don't mean like to be in a wimpy way, because I think when I started doing this practice and I was more reserved, people would take that as a weakness, rather than realize it, no, I can assert myself, but I take that as a weakness rather than realize it. No, I can assert myself, but I'm going the way of peace.

I can get violent if I had to, but that's not my preferred choice. For choices who love, we can't get hate, not through hate. Yeah, I believe the Buddha had some things to say about that. Yeah, Christ had things to say about that. Yeah, Christ had things to say about that. And I think just, but all of all of all of wisdom there's just talks about love versus, you know, the old come hate. You have days during all this where maybe you didn't feel that great. Were you struggled with it?

feel that great where you struggled with it? No, I don't because, man, I came from hell, man. It should always like being addicted to hell and other drugs and having to get high three, four times a day, man. Everything now is like, shh, coming up on 36 years, cleaning a week. Come on, man, I came from hell so everything is good. in a week, come on man, I came from hell so everything is good. So it's like it's manageable and I have faith but it's not so much like I'm believing, it's like from my experience. So when you talked about the self-centered fear and all of that, that's what I call, you

got to forget yourself, define yourself. What does that mean that means if I go and serve others I forget about me. This is what I learned in trial step recovery That was another person get out of your stuff and help somebody else and then you'll find yourself because that other person is in you It's so vital that by give I it comes back to me. So if I'm giving grief us when I'm gonna get back if I'm given love That's when I'm gonna get back. If I'm giving love, that's what I'm gonna get back. And I'm not doing it for it, but it's just natural to be, and it takes less energy to be kind,

and it does to be a pain in the butt, or to be hostile. And then we go back and we're in that quietness. There's a part of us that feels uncomfortable with that, because we know that was wrong. That wasn't right. But if we drown out that still small voice, we won't hear it. Much more of my conversation with George right after this.

Life is short and it's full of a lot of interesting questions. What does happiness really mean? How do I get the most out of my time here on earth? And what really is the best cereal? These are the questions I seek to resolve on my weekly podcast, Life is Short with Justin Long. If you're looking for the answer to deep philosophical questions, like, what is the meaning of life?

I can't really help you. But I do believe that we really enrich our experience here by learning from others. And that's why in each episode, I like to talk with actors, musicians, artists, scientists, and many more types of people about how they get the most out of life. We explore how they felt during the highs, and sometimes more importantly, the lows of their careers. We discuss how they've been able to stay happy during some of the harder times. But

if I'm being honest, it's mostly just fun chats between friends about the important stuff. Like if you had a sandwich named after you, what would be on it? Follow Life is short wherever you get your podcasts. You can also listen to Add Free on the Amazon Music or Wondering App. So you talked about death contemplation, which I think is a supremely counterintuitive resiliency

practice, at least superficially or to the uninitiated. So can you describe what that practice is and why it's been so helpful to you? Yes, so because we have this idea that when people die, we act like it's not supposed to happen. People get sick, we act like it's not supposed to happen. People get sick, we act like it's not supposed to happen. We get old and we can tell that because we lose our hair, you know, look at the mirror, then the body doesn't do what it used to do.

You have to go to bathroom more at night or whatever it is. Suffering is acting like what's happening shouldn't be happening, but the conditions are right for everything to happen. People do not go before, and I know some people will challenge this, but you don't go before your time. There's things that happen. And so understanding impermanence, things are changing. And like Carlos Costaneda talked about, and the teachings of Don Juan, he talked about having

death be on your left shoulder. So should we mind mind her because like this take the situation with Kobe? I said oh Kobe's gonna be around I can do that some other time They're not around So you got to tell people you love them now and you got to do it You really want to do what people now so that if you are fully present and fully engaged And when you accept death, you're accepted life. The other side of the coin. So when you make peace with death, then you're fully alive because this could be your only

date. You have. This could be the only time you have to interact with someone. So assuming that's true, how do you want to leave that? And then I would take it another step. So I'd be watching while I don't have direct TV now, but I had direct TV, especially when I watch old classics like Christmas Carol and I go and I look at the people and when they were born and I say dead, dead, dead everybody now who is dead. You know, it looks like I got a new look.

Or you see somebody back then and say, okay, that was dead, now look at them now. Oh, they get old. No one's beyond aging, no one's beyond getting ill. And then you have some people like James Dean that died early, Jimmy Hendrix Bruce Lee. Just to name a few, Jenner Shockley. I mean, I could just name tons of them,

Prince Diana, a lot of people that, you know, they're going to die. And so that awareness was just making clear, we prepared me that everything, now even a flower, it could be great today, but it's going to wilt. That's just a nature. And so it's the idea of freedom or being at ease, it's realizing that whatever's happening now is because the conditions are right

for it to be happening. And so if I have this attitude of being with what is, and making peace with that, even though I don't like it, it and I can suffer over it and I will suffer over it. But at some point it's like, okay, it's happened. And I'll share something with you tonight. It's like when election night I was actually teaching a sandwich retreat and we had to have some extra sessions because a lot of people were traumatized when Trump came president. And I remember feeling this anxiety and just like really awful. And then once I accepted the fact that he was a president, there's nothing I can do about it, then I had peace. Then it was like, what are you going to do? So there's something about awareness. I call it the 4A. The awareness,

the acceptance and that's the challenging part. Then once we have acceptance, then the third A is action, compassionate action. Then assessment, what's the lesson to learn here? And what work, what didn't work, and then what do what's the lesson to learn here? And what work, what didn't work, and then what do I need to learn in practice so that I'm able to have a better, can be more compassionate or have the appropriate response to that, where I'm creating peace and alleviating suffering or lessening suffering or even eliminating suffering.

Can you say some words about what this, I think it's called Morana Sati, or that's the technical term for death awareness, meditation, what are you doing your mind when you're doing that practice? Well, you go through and you, you know, the five reflections on, you know, a not beyond old age, illness and death, or just realizing everybody who's alive now

is going to be dead. It's going to die. I'm going to die a not beyond death. And just looking at it and seeing the death is a natural part of life. And you see few notes, you see people passing away and then my older sister passed away in 86 and we were really close and I could have some peace around her death and that was before I started doing this. But because I could honestly say I spent as much time and I was fully present with her as much as I could be, I guess I could say the same thing, but Kobe, so I can feel like, I can let go. I don't have any regrets.

But if I have regrets, I'm going to give myself for it, because when you know better, you do better. That's what Dr. Maya Angel said. So it's going to be times when you're adding get to say something my older brother died two years ago. He passed away before I could get to the hospital. You know, it was challenging. You know, he's a military vet.

You know, he had to military funeral, two tours in Vietnam. He said, quite a life. But it happens. I have a lot of relatives that pass away. But I have Michael Joe. He's a hundred and I think he's gonna be a hundred and seven in November And so some people live long some people don't all of his cousins they died in their sixties areas living

40 plus years beyond them. That takes a kind of resiliency for sure. Yeah. Yes, it's just saying accepting things as they are and and making peace with it. Doesn't mean I like it. It just means that that's the way it is. And and if I resist it and I don't accept it, that I suffer. And I can actually say that with everything,

because when we were going through a kind of grieving process, we got to die of the old way things used to be and new things had to be reborn. So if we look at a clinging to the past, that past has never coming back. So we can claim to it and say, I missed this, or we can say, okay, let's create something great now. Let's make things even better. Because when one door closes, another one opens, something ends, it's a new beginning. So it's just thinking about it and reflecting

on impermanence mostly. It's just understanding things impermanent, things arising, passing away all the time. And when we see that, then the tendency is not the clinger attached to it so much. On this subject of resiliency, there's another, you like to come up with things like the four A's and there's another one of these new monics that you have, the three C's that really go right to this subject of resiliency.

Can you talk a little bit about the three sets. Yeah, so when I got in recovery 1984 and I stopped using drugs and alcohol, especially pain meds, which got me started in the first place, I had chronic pain, migraine headaches and chronic back pain. I've been going to chiropractic since 1975, so it was that 45 years. since 1975, so it's that 45 years. So I've had a lot of pain. And so I was a member of the HMO habit pilgrim. How care, I guess, has originally started it. And so they had this program called Stress Management because I was going to therapy

when I got clean, went in the detox, and he recommended that I do this experimental program where you would spit and pee before and after they did pee and post testing. And the person running the program was Dr. Pajon Boer Sinkle who at that time there was only three what they call psychoneural immunologists. And she was one and she was working with Dr. Pabrebins and out of Beth Israel. And so I learned about the three C's there. To see threats as challenges, I can choose my response.

I have control over my reaction and my response. And the commitment piece committed to my growth and development and seeing as a learning experience commitment to myself To my growth and so that's what I did and that's what I've been doing for the last 36 years or so as Understanding that no matter what happens. I get to choose my response if I can create space between stillness and response and then align my choice with my core values What happened to be like loving compassion, truth, you know, know the truth and then make peace with it.

So just to go over the three Cs, a commitment to your own growth and development, control over how you respond to stressors, the final C is viewing every crisis as a challenge. Yeah, so we know from, I think it's Banderah that talks about resilience. It's the interesting thing is all you need is one little molecule with control. So no matter what happens,

and Victor Franco talked about the space between stimulus and response is where we have freedom and power to choose. And the thing is, no matter what happens to me, I get to choose my reaction or my response to it. So Victor Franco talks about when you have unavoidable suffering, you can choose to respond to it in a way with dignity and compassion and with, that we always have a choice. And so the control part of it is if I can control a little bit of it, then having that motor come a control gives me more confidence that I have even more control.

So the whole self-pilot of psychology is like our interpretive styles. So if I interpret things as a blessing or curse, they're both right. I can see so people say to me, oh, you're a drug addict, you will put that in a book, and why would you talk about that? Why would you? I said, you don't understand. It wasn't for that. I wouldn't be here.

So I interpreted it not that I was this low life for this awful person. It's like, okay, that was a blessing. I had to go through that. It's like you can look at this pandemic. Yeah, it's awful. A lot of people would die and then a lot of it's happening. And yet, we can make it work. We can make it better. Make things better. Not the same, but different and better. And it's like, okay, so that's not working. So now we don't have the illusion of some of this stuff working. And so now let's get busy. So something happens to us and then we get to interpret what it means. And I say, I'm going to interpret it in a way that empowers me, inspires me and gives me power. They call that interpretive styles, but all of these are attitudes and have to do with,

you know, how much faith and how much confidence you have, and to the degree that you can connect to higher power. That's why in my book, the mind for actually seeked to pure performance, I talk about the five superpowers, or what we call the five powers, which are faith, diligence or effort, mindfulness, concentration and wisdom, to me, they're like my powerhouse, they're like my power plant,

that if I, mindfulness cultivate those qualities and balances them, and I have access to more power, I have access to be able to be more present, to be more persistent, to be more focused, to cultivate more wisdom. And that power plant, it's fueled in the furnace, it seems like, if I'm hearing you correctly, of your meditation practice, where you're building these capacities. Yes, and it's interesting because some people have the limited viewer meditation practice, which means when I'm sitting in silence, my view of meditation practice is something you

can do from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep. So even then, it's what we call the Domain of Practice, that you can still always ask yourself, you know, what am I doing? How's my mind? Am I here or am I focused on somewhere else? And so for the moment, the moment you're practicing, when you do something, if you are using force energy or force effort, it's not going to be, you're not going to get the result you want.

If you have a lack of effort, you're not going to have the result. It has to be a balanced effort and it has to be, and you've got to have a little of effort, you're not going to have the result. It has to be a balanced effort, it has to be, and you're going to have a little bit of enthusiasm to get beyond the left energy or low energy. So I talk about the process of right effort it has to do with an enthusiastic, steady, continuous balance, application of energy. So now, okay, what you're doing,

you have to have right effort, earth you're doing. You have to have right effort or for this dip. You have to have mindfulness and wisdom and wisdom in this case could be information, intellect, or intuitive knowing. But you got to understand, what am I doing? What are the principles here? So I got to know gravity is in play. So even if I don't believe in gravity, if I jump up, I'm coming down. I don't believe in it, but I got to know if I know who gravity is there, then how do I use gravity to my advantage or understanding that. So there has to be an understanding of who am I especially for myself. I have a masterpiece. I'm wide for success and wide for altruism. I'm wide for freedom of choice.

I'm wide for compassion. Love. I'm also wide for what we talked about. The fear, the doubting security, the hostility, the hate, all of that stuff. That's the fear world. Let me just go back to the the the sea of challenge of viewing every crisis as a challenge. I'm I'm channeling perhaps skeptical voices of listeners saying. Easier said than done. Yes. And well, here's an interesting thing is when you get in the habit of seeing things as a challenge, it gets easier. Kind of the habit. So I'm from my experience. It's a dope theme. Come on now. That's a hell of a challenge. Most people don't get that right. Alcoholism, they don't get that right. But if I see it as a challenge and say, okay, this bottle water is half empty,

half full, both are right. So if you come from half empty, you're in the survival mode and you're in coming from scarcity, coming from fear. If you see this half full, it coming from abundance. And so we know this because the guy lifting the rotor book called Biles, your belief, he said that on a cellular level, a cell is either in survival mode or growth mode. You can't be in both. So what we're really talking about here is if you're in survival mode, you're right, you ain't going to get there. So you've got to get out of survival mode, getting growth mode. And when gets you in growth mode?

Seeing what you can do, seeing the light, not seeing the dark, and seeing that, yes, I can. Is that a trainable habit of mind? Yes. Like every habit of mind is trained. It's a habit. That's just what it is. But here's what we're saying. You have to have some kind of spiritual practice, some kind of self-introspection

that allows you to observe, evaluate your habit patterns and be able to say, okay, this one's working, this one's not, not how do I change it, how do I let it go? So I would say the practice of mindfulness has to do with transforming the mind, making the mind more your friend, making the mind more susceptible to being in the present and focusing on things that are about alleviating suffering or being here now and being being loved and being present, being whatever it is. I'd say love really just being open to what is and then whatever comes up relating to it in a way where you feel like you're going to express your love, your compassion, your being on an adventure, your joy for life.

And so yeah, everything, I mean, that's the thing, attention. We all were paying attention all the time. So what we're really talking about is paying attention to what you pay attention to. And so that's what mindfulness is about. It's appropriate attention. It's attention that brings you in the moment and is focused on what you're doing in this moment. And whether what you're doing is skillful or unskillful.

So all of these qualities of mind, the insight, the effort, the faith of the trust, the concentration of poise, all of those qualities are always operating. Those five spiritual powers, they support each other. And mindfulness helps to balance them. So if I have too much faith, not enough insight or verified faith, then I'm going to be polyannorous. If I have a lot of insight and not enough trust or faith, I'm going to be cynical.

So we do this all day. So all day, you're going to be cynical. So we do this all day. So all day, you're going to be cynical about something. So okay, so mindfulness helps you bring more faith to trust or to have the willing suspension of disbelief and say, I don't know, let me see what's possible. Right. So the investigation, explore it. See what's true. George says that this is what it is. Okay, let me go see if I can have a direct experience of that. And so you have, we all do this. We try too hard and we don't try our enough. So we have too much effort and not enough poison or steadiness of mind.

Then it's going to be, it's going to be helpful. If we have too much poison, steadiness of mind, we're going to be, and not enough effort, we're going to be sluggish and whatever. So we need to bring the effort up. So we need to understand that we can do that for a moment to moment. We have to cultivate these possibilities, sitting in silence is very helpful. Having a practice of compassion or loving kindness, appreciative joy, they're very helpful. But in the immediacy of experience, when we're operating, we have to adapt to, or's what life is adaptation. What am I getting and what do I need to change so that I get back on track or that I'm

able to perform the way I want to they have to be that media feedback and you have to have a mechanism of Being self-observate from this relax receptivity where we are observing experience in a way where we're not moving towards pleasure or away from a version, whether it's pleasant, unpleasant, and neutral, a nervous system is going to move towards what's pleasant, move away from what's unpleasant, and space out on what's neutral, unless it's neutrality, like, equanimity, where we have a purpose, we're not indifferent, we have an understanding of what's neutral, unless it's neutrality, like, equanimity where we have a purpose

where not indifferent, we have an understanding of what's happening. So for moment to moment, those qualities of mind are operating, whether we know it or not, we have these habit patterns, we have these things that we habitually do, some of them are helpful, but the unexamined life is not worth living.

So an examined life is most definitely worth living. So we examine how am I being, what are my thoughts, my words and my behavior, and my expression, what I say I am, and what I'm not, how do I change that? But everything begins with the mind. If the mind is right, everything else is going to be right. Continuing on this subject of resilience,

you gave a talk online and I'll put a link to it in the show notes on YouTube. It's called Learning from Adversity. There are many things that you discuss in that talk. We've already talked about here, but one thing, there are a few things actually that might be worth exploring that we haven't talked about here, at least that not that I can see.

The notion of dealing with adversity being a team effort. What do you mean by that? So, when we're dealing with adversity, so whether we're the team with just individual, so it's trying to core, talk to about three things that you can predict, somebody's success in a vocation or a job or whatever. One is what he called positive genius or being the hope and optimism. Second one is social support. And the third one is seeing stress as a challenge, not as a curse. And so in that social component of it, as we learn, and we have a network of relationships

that help us, the people we say we need to be, so we don't have to do it alone. And the Buddhist context, they talk about the Buddha, the D, the Dharma, and the Sangha or the community of people. So we have relationships, we have a community so we don't do it alone. So even though I might be acting alone, I have people who, you know, whether we're talking about Joseph, whether I'm talking about my friendship with you or other people, I'm not alone. And I'm having conversations with those folks. And some of them I'm having conversations with people that they need me in the life of,

well, I would say it's a one-sided conversation, but I'm studying the Buddha, I'm studying Jesus, I'm studying Victor Franco, Dr. David Hawkins, it could be my angel or her teachings. It could be a lot of people, my Luther King, a lot of people that I'm drawing from their experiences. I'm standing on the shoulders of giants, if you will. And so I'm not being alone.

It's like I got my iPhone, I can do Audible, I can Google. As access or I can call somebody and say, hey, this is what's going on, what do you think? And it's really more about me going inside and be still in knowing and asking my inner self or just reflecting on, you know, what is this? What do I really want? So getting clarity about who I am

and how I want to express myself. and I'm committed to the alleviation and elimination of suffering. So it has to do with that. So okay, I don't want to suffer. I don't want other people to suffer. So what can I do? Did enhances creates more harmony creates more interconnectedness with myself first because this parts myself I can dissociate from and then connecting with other people. And so when I do it, I'm giving people the permission to do it as well. And so it's better together so we get together and it's what we call good friends and suitable conversation. That's what we have in now. And suitable conversations about here's the teachings, how do we apply them in our life or how do we investigate to see if we can have a direct experience of it.

So it goes from faith to conviction. The more deliberate I get about cultivating relationships on an ongoing basis, the happier I am and the better I am at overcoming whatever challenges and challenges are inevitable whatever challenges come my way. Yes, and people complicated that's my friend John cabbage and that's one of the most remarkable things when I was working with him at the center of my friend is. Back in the 90s and he said you know people complicated. back in the 90s and he said, you know, people are complicated. That's for file. That is for file. Because it's true. It's really true. It closed me. I'm complicated. But complexity is a beautiful thing. It can be.

Yeah, the cooler I get with my own complexity, the cooler I get with other people's complexity, we talked about this earlier, and then you have your team. Yes. No, that then your team is stronger. Yes. I really appreciate the way you're able to draw this stuff out of me. It's not that hard. It's not that hard. It's not that hard. I have to I can throw out some half baked questions and just let you go. It's a pleasure. Well, you know, I have a lot of love for you. So it's easy for me to

be myself. It's mutual. So you know, this is a lot of love on this end of the conversation as well. It's mutual, so you know, there's a lot of love on this end of the conversation as well. And I suspect people listening to this are gonna wanna get more from you. So just before I let you go, can we have this kind of semi facetious segment? We do at the end of every episode called the Plug Zone. And can I get you to plug everything?

The book is the Mindful Athlete, and I understand you're also doing a course related to the Mindful Athlete and I understand you're also doing a course related to the Mindful Athlete. Yes, we're doing the Mindful Athlete online course. We've we've launched it about a year ago, but we're relaunching it tomorrow and and people will be able to sign up, but this is going to be different because there's videos they can go and watch, but we're going to have a six week study group. So I'm going to be on a call once a week, every week, and we're going to have, we're going to do this together.

We're going to create this community kind of process where we're going to go through each one of the spiritual paths, like we might go through mindfulness one week, then we'll have suggested home practice. And then I don't know if it's a Thursday or whatever day. I think right now it's Thursday, eight o'clock, each and time, but I noticed we got people from all over the world trying to join in. So we'll have like an hour session that people will be able to get on the call, ask questions, and maybe I'll give a little teaching around that. So I'm excited about it because I'm trying something, so I want more engagement, but I

want this virtual community to really be engaged in doing these practices because they're fundamental, and you master the fundamentals. So for instance, so I read my book 41 times, totally, and I'm reading the chapter on mindfulness for this 42nd time. I'm halfway through. As I, you're reading your own book over and over. And just like the, just like the, the module is the meditation. You go through it. You get more out of it, but these are basic fundamentals, so you got the master those. And so I keep learning from them. And of course, when I wrote them, or just like when I

talk, I'm not really there, it's just flowing through me. And so I have the experience a lot of times, I listen to myself, or I read what I wrote. And I said, that's pretty good. Where'd that come from? Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. And then after what I can reflect on it and contemplate, okay, that worked. That didn't work. How do I? How do I do that? So of course, this is my website,

GeorgeMonford.com and but the course and there's other offerings. I also have a YouTube channel. So every Thursday I do a post around COVID. It's called being at home with George. And I've been doing that since the beginning of the COVID. And then there's other things coming up. But for the most part, it's getting the online course going because I want people to be able to have access

to these teachings and most of them really can't afford to pay me at the level that I'm accustomed to being paid at when I'm working with elite clients. But I work with people on all levels. So it's just really about making the teachings available and then it also helps me because the feedback I get from people engaging and interacting with us I always be able to find tune and make those adjustments,

those adaptations that's gonna be more helpful. Everybody should go check out all of those resources, links to every single one of them will be in the show notes. So it'll be accessible to everybody. George, is there anything I should ask you but failed to ask you? No, everything is, no, I think everything is, I mean, we said we needed to say,

I just wanna say that I think everything is, I mean, we said we needed to say, I just want to say that I hope people well Like I said hold the hurt be able to acknowledge her but also generate the hope and really bring this The sense of adventure or let's create something that's better than what we had before Even if that's just the relationship we have with ourselves and others so so that we could be more compassionate, more kind, more loving. And at the same time, you know, alleviate suffering and eliminate it, but also let's just have more fun, let's be more together, more interconnected, live in more joy, because my motto is joy now and never.

I just wanna, the final thing I wanna say just to tie a ribbon around what you just said is there's a way in which, hey, let's make the best of this situation can come off as sort of an empty bromide, but you are listening to the voice, not mine, Georgia's voice of somebody who has done that, who has, as he said, gone to hell. The depths of addiction never mind what he went through growing up, which we haven't even talked about. The depths of addiction and turned it around became, as you can hear, from all of his references to all the people he's studied from, whether they're alive or dead, and turned it through a process of inner alchemy

into like a just a bottomless well of wisdom and has walked this walk of turning crappy circumstances into something positive over and over and over again. So we're all stuck in COVID world and many of us are on the receiving end of a lot of injustice when it comes to the racism that is threaded through many aspects of our society. And it is not to take anything away from the objective horror of all of that to say what George has said, which is you can turn it into something great

on the other end and you're hearing it from somebody who's done it. So thank you, George. I appreciate it. Thank you. Appreciate it. Big thanks again to George. As a reminder, George has that fantastic course on the 10% happier all about learning how to face

high pressure situations. We'll include a link to the show notes along with the links to George's mindful athlete course and ways you can access his other offerings. Before I depart here, I want to pass along my gratitude to the TPH podcast team Samuel Johns is our senior producer Marissa Schneidermann is our producer our sound designers are Matt Boyn and on Sheshik of ultraviolet audio, Maria Wartel is our production coordinator. We get a ton of guidance and wisdom from our colleagues, such as Ben Rubin, Jean Poient, Natobi Liz Levin, and of course a salute to my guys at ABC Ryan

Kessler and Josh Cohan. We'll see you all on Friday with a bonus meditation from Seven A. Celassie on Resilience. Hey, hey, prime members. You can listen to 10% happier early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad-free with 1-3-plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, do us a solid and tell us all about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash Survey.