Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris - 462: How to Be With What's Bugging You | Bonus Meditation with Oren Jay Sofer

Episode Date: June 17, 2022

Build resilience for tough situations. Learn the tools to develop self-empathy, clarifying what matters to you most and how to move forward.About Oren Jay Sofer:Oren Jay Sofer teaches mindfulness, meditation, and Nonviolent Communication in secular and Buddhist contexts. Oren has practiced meditation in the early Buddhist tradition since 1997, beginning his studies in Bodh Gaya, India with Anagarika Munindra and Godwin Samararatne. He is a long-time student of Joseph Goldstein, Michele McDonald, and Ajahn Sucitto, and a graduate of the IMS - Spirit Rock Vipassana Teacher Training, and current member of the Spirit Rock Teachers Council.Oren is the author of Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication, a practical guidebook for having more effective, satisfying conversations.To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Self Empathy,” or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=c547f8dc-f150-464a-ba59-3131a4bf6944.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What does it even mean to live a good life? Is it about happiness, purpose, love, health, or wealth? What really matters in the pursuit of a life well lived? These are the questions award-winning author, founder, and interviewer Jonathan Fields asks his guests on the Top Ranked Good Life Project podcast. Every week, Jonathan sits down with world renowned thinkers and doers, people like Glenn and Doyle, Adam Grant,

Young Pueblo, Jonathan Height, and hundreds more. Start listening right now. Look for the Good Life project on your favorite podcast app. This is the 10% happier podcast. I'm Dan Harris. Happy Friday, everybody. It's bonus time. I think a lot of us might find it way easier to muster compassion for our friends or family or even people we see on the news than for ourselves. But being cooler with yourself has massive benefits, not only for you, but

for everybody in your orbit. And there's a lot of research to back this up. So today we're going to turn it over to meditation teacher orange a sofa for one technique that really could help in this regard. Orin is one of the more popular teachers over on the 10% happier appy teaches mindfulness meditation and also nonviolent communication in secular and Buddhist contexts. He's also a long-time student of Joseph Goldstein, Michelle McDonald, and Ajahn Sucito, and a graduate of the IMS spirit rock, the Pasinah teacher training. Speaking of communication, he is, I should say, the author of a book called Say What You Mean, a mindful approach to nonviolent communication, a practical guidebook for having more effective, satisfying conversations.

Okay, enough out of me. Here we go now with Orrin. Hey, this is Orrin. In this meditation, we'll explore a way of finding some care and tenderness for ourselves called self-empathy. You can use this guided meditation to develop your ability to bring some ease and healing to yourself, whatever is happening. It's all about our attention, where we focus, and our attitude, how we relate. So let's begin by settling in and establishing mindfulness and whatever way feels authentic and natural for you.

Just allow yourself to arrive and shift gears, setting aside the momentum of the day. setting aside the momentum of the day. You might ground your attention in your body, or take some slow deep breaths. See if you can keep a light attention on your body or your breathing as we do this next reflection. So when you're ready, call to mind a situation or event that's been difficult for you in some way.

Try not to choose anything too difficult or painful to start. We're aiming for something relatively mild so that you can learn the tools. So let this situation come to mind in a clear way. Where you were, who you were with. What happened? Got it? Okay. Now as much as possible, see if you can set aside the details and bring your attention

into your body. How are you feeling right now. What emotions are present? See if you can name any emotions do you feel it in your body? What sensations are there associated with this emotion? If the emotion is strong, try to widen your attention to the rest of your body. You could even feel your breathing and just notice the out breath. Seeing if you can bring some tenderness to any of these emotions. Inviting a little bit of care, kindness towards yourself. This process of self-empatty can be a powerful way to develop more compassion, but also to get clear about what's at the heart of a situation and how we want to respond. When you're ready, go ahead and let your eyes open. Thanks for exploring this with me.

Feel free to come back and revisit this practice anytime you like. Take care. Big thanks to Orren. We'll see you right back here on Monday for a brand new episode. This is a great one. We're talking to TV writer and show creator Michael Schur. He's the guy behind such amazing shows at Brooklyn 99 and Parks and Recreation. He's also got a thriving and quite impressive interest in moral philosophy and he wrote a book about how to deal with all the moral dilemmas that inevitably crop up in any human life

and it's called How to Be Perfect and he's very funny and also really knowledgeable, so we'll talk to him coming up on Monday. He's very fun and also really knowledgeable, so we'll talk to him coming up on Monday. Hey, hey, prime members. You can listen to 10% happier early and add free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen early and add free with 1-3-plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, do us a solid and tell us all about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey.