Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris - 535: How To Undermine the Inner Critic | Bonus Meditation with Diana Winston

Episode Date: December 16, 2022

The delicate practice of self-forgiveness can help undo habits of self-judgment, self-criticism, and help you reclaim greater self-esteem.About Diana Winston:Diana Winston is the Director of Mindfulness Education at UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center and the author of several books including, The Little Book of Being: Practices and Guidance for Uncovering your Natural AwarenessTo find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Self-Forgiveness,” or click here: "https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=73751265-07b6-4333-b2e6-a9d682e0b213"See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What does it even mean to live a good life? Is it about happiness, purpose, love, health, or wealth? What really matters in the pursuit of a life well lived? These are the questions award-winning author, founder, and interviewer Jonathan Fields asks his guests on the Top Ranked Good Life Project podcast. Every week, Jonathan sits down with world renowned thinkers and doers, people like Glenn and Doyle, Adam Grant,

Young Pueblo, Jonathan Height, and hundreds more. Start listening right now. Look for the Good Life Project on your favorite podcast app. This is the 10% happier podcast. I'm Dan Harris. Hey, hey, time for a Friday bonus. Today we've got a meditation for undermining the inner critic, the loud mouth who is constantly running you down, comparing you to other people and degrading your resilience.

Many of us think we need this voice in order to succeed or just to tread water, but the evidence shows this is not true. On the pod this week, we talked with the great Tara Brock about forgiving yourself or accepting yourself. And today, we're going to practice it with another great meditation teacher, Diana Winston. Diana is the director of mindfulness education at UCLA's Mindful Awareness Research Center and the author of several books, including the little book of being. Here we go now with Diana Winston.

Hi, this is Diana, and this is a meditation on the practice of self forgiveness. You might be interested in this meditation if you're feeling that there's something you've done or that you haven't been able to forgive yourself for, or a part of you that you feel needs to be forgiven. However, no pressure here. Forgiveness is a process and it can take a long time.

Let's start by taking a few breaths to get settled. Notice what's happening inside yourself as we begin. And as you even think about the possibility of forgiving yourself, what happens inside you in your body and mind. If you find yourself contracting or feeling a little fear or skepticism, this is completely normal. So let's just try it as much as feels comfortable. There's no pressure, no rush here. Is there something that comes to mind when you contemplate forgiving yourself? Something you did or some aspect of yourself that feels perhaps unforgivable at this moment?

As we start this practice, it's really important that you pick something that's not very, very intense. Pick something mild or moderate that you want to start with to learn the practice. So bring to mind this incident or this aspect of yourself and notice how it feels to bring it to mind. Fearful, contracted, and pleasant. What would happen if you were to just gently offer some phrases to yourself? May I open to forgiving myself. You can repeat these words in your mind after I say them, or you might come up with your own words.

May I open to forgiving myself. May I one day open to forgiving myself. May I one day open to forgiving myself. May I consider the possibility of one day forgiving myself. I forgive myself. As you say these words, find the phrases that make the most sense to you and notice how your body feels when you say them. You might notice if there's feelings of shame or regret arising. Can you bring some kindness to yourself right now in any way that makes sense to you? You might imagine a person or animal who knows and loves you and accepts you unconditionally, offering kindness and understanding to this part of you, offering their forgiveness. Imagine this now. Really be gentle as you do this practice, using whatever phrases, whatever words resonate

with you. Images and memories are fine. Take your time, don't push. There's no rush. And return to this practice any time you feel drawn. So let's notice our body is present here, taking a breath or two. And when you're ready, open your eyes or end the meditation. See you next time. Thank you to Diana Winston. We'll see you right back here on Monday for an episode

from the Archives. It's a great one with Loretta Ross. It's about how to call people in instead of calling them out. Hey, hey, prime members. You can listen to 10% happier early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad-free with 1-3-plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, do us a solid and tell us all about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash Survey.

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