Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris - 551: Use This Meditation to Achieve Some Equanimity in Your Relationships | Bonus Meditation with Pascal Auclair

Episode Date: January 27, 2023

Let’s be real: relationships aren’t always easy. Connect in a more meaningful way to stay engaged and caring with balance and ease.About Pascal Auclair:Pascal Auclair has been immersed in Buddhist practice and study since 1997, sitting retreats in Asia and America with revered monastics and lay teachers. He has been mentored by Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield at the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) in Massachusetts and Spirit Rock Meditation Center in California, where he is now enjoying teaching retreats. Pascal teaches in North America and in Europe. He is a co-founder of True North Insight and one of TNI’s Guiding Teachers.To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Cultivating Balance in Relationships,” or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=f87533f5-7cee-4b03-bba3-89e299358936See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What does it even mean to live a good life? Is it about happiness, purpose, love, health, or wealth? What really matters in the pursuit of a life well lived? These are the questions award-winning author, founder, and interviewer Jonathan Fields asks his guests on the Top Ranked Good Life Project podcast. Every week, Jonathan sits down with world renowned thinkers and doers, people like Glenn and Doyle, Adam Grant,

Young Pueblo, Jonathan Height, and hundreds more. Start listening right now. Look for the Good Life Project on your favorite podcast app. This is the 10% happier podcast. I'm Dan Harris. Hey, happy Friday, bonus meditation time. Today we're going to focus on a major conundrum when it comes to human happiness. We need other people to be happy, at least most of us do.

However, other people can be a gigantic pain in the ass sometimes. So that's the bad news. The good news is there's a meditation for that. Our teacher, Du jourour, is the great Pascal O'Clair who's been immersed in Buddhist study and practice since 1997. Pascal teaches in North America and in Europe. He's a co-founder of True North Insight and one of TNI's guiding teachers. He also teaches meditations over on the 10% happier app. Here we go now with Pascal Eau Claire. Hi fellow meditator, Pascal with you here today.

Relationships are not always easy. Sometimes folks we care about suffer, or they act differently than we wish, even making choices that don't seem good for them. That's where a little equanimity can be of help. Equanimity is the capacity to stay engaged and caring, while being able to accept that we do not have control over other people and the choices they make. Let's get into it.

Let's get into it. Find the right posture so you can relax into it while staying mentally alert and present. Close your eyes whole body, and feel the body breathing. Let's set the intention to keep some balance of mind here. If you notice yourself getting agitated, bring your attention back to your feet for a moment and become aware of the space around you. Now bring to mind somebody you share parts of your life with. A person who is experiencing some difficulty in one aspect of their life right now, maybe in their work-life, relationships, or health, mental, or physical.

Maybe silently sing to yourself, this is how it is for you right now. We're simply acknowledging what's here, recognizing it with calm, steadiness, tenderness, not turning away, play with these phrases in your own way. I care about your pain, your difficulty, and this is how it is for you right now. Although I wish it to be otherwise, this is what's happening for you right now. An end with compassion for this person. May you find in yourself and around yourself the resources to help you be with this, overcome this or accept this. Play with this on your own for a little while. We're just trying to see if there is another way to be with what is difficult, without collapsing, falling into worry or blame, ground or chair, the breath, the sensation The state of your mind. Flexibility of mind is also an expression of equanimity.

Are you able to let go of thoughts related to this person and their challenge and just be with your body. You can open your eyes if they're closed, wishing you the best. Big thanks to Pascal. Oh, Claire, we'll see you right back here on Monday for a fresh and new episode about how understanding your brain can improve your life. Hey, hey, prime members. You can listen to 10% happier early and ad free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad free with Wondery

Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, do us a solid and tell us all about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey. tell us all about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey.