Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris - 566: What to Do When You’re Pissed Off | Bonus Meditation with Jessica Morey

Episode Date: March 3, 2023

Go from "seeing red" to seeing the value in anger without being carried away by it and doing or saying things you'll regret later.About Jessica Morey:Jess Morey is a lead teacher, cofounder and former executive director of Inward Bound Mindfulness Education which runs in-depth mindfulness programming for youth, and the parents and professionals who support them across the US, and internationally. She began practicing meditation at age 14 on teen retreats offered by the Insight Meditation Society (IMS), and has maintained a consistent commitment to meditation since. To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Transforming Anger,” or click here: "https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=bf4246e0-89b5-47a2-a359-fbcae2103dbf".See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What does it even mean to live a good life? Is it about happiness, purpose, love, health, or wealth? What really matters in the pursuit of a life well lived? These are the questions award-winning author, founder, and interviewer Jonathan Fields asks his guests on the Top Ranked Good Life Project podcast. Every week, Jonathan sits down with world renowned thinkers and doers, people like Glenn and Doyle, Adam Grant,

Young Pueblo, Jonathan Height, and hundreds more. Start listening right now. Look for the Good Life Project on your favorite podcast app. This is the 10% happier podcast. I'm Dan Harris. Hey, hey, it's Friday, bonus meditation time. If you listen to the show this week, you heard us talking about being judgmental and also the human desire for revenge. We really only talk about the most enjoyable subjects here. One thing that underpins both

of those conversations, both of the conversations we had this week is anger. So today we've got a meditation for when you're pissed off. Our teacher, Du jour is Jess Mori, a lead teacher, co-founder, and former executive director of inward bound mindfulness Education, otherwise known as IBME, which runs in-depth mindfulness programming for youth and the parents and professionals who support them across the United States and internationally, it's a great organization. Jess is also part of the team behind the scenes here at 10% happier.

Okay, here we go now with Jess Mori. Hi, this is Jess. Anger is often my go-to emotion in all its various forms. Annoyance, frustration, irritation, indignation. I used to even get angry at my anger, resisting it, trying to push it away. But I've come to see that anger can be a life-affirming emotion. It lets us know when a boundary has been crossed, when our needs are not being met, or when someone we care about is in danger. Being mindful of anger means not suppressing

or avoiding it, and also not acting out in harmful ways. Let's give it a try. Take a few deeper breaths and allow your attention to settle into your body. Invite some softening into your forehead, relax the muscles behind your eyes, soften your jaw, allow your shoulders to drop down away from your ears, and allow your breath to settle into its natural rhythm. Remember, you can always come back to the simple sensations of breathing if this exploration of anger gets overwhelming. If you aren't feeling angry right now, bring to mind a recent situation when you felt frustrated. The first step of mindfulness of anger is to recognize and respect it.

Anger is happening. It's part of the human experience. You can softly name to yourself what you are feeling, noting anger, frustration, irritation. Next, stop feeling the anger with your thoughts and shift your attention into your body. You may need to be really firm about cutting off the story of how you were wronged or why your anger is justified and direct your attention towards the sensations in your body. Notice where you feel anger in your body. Do you notice contraction or heat in your chest?

How does your stomach feel? Do you notice any tightness or heaviness? What do you notice in your jaw? Check out your hands and arms. How do they feel? Scan your body and explore how the experience of anger is showing you pay attention to them. Do they increase or decrease? Notice of the anger feels solid or is it shifting and changing?

As you pay attention to anger with openness and curiosity, reflect on how you could skillfully respond to the situation or person without suppressing or acting out. What would be the most helpful response? And as we close this meditation, see if you can commit to take whatever skillful action is needed. When you're ready, you can open your eyes and reorient to the space around you. Good luck and thanks for your practice.

Thank you to Jess. We'll see you right back here on Monday for a brand new episode with Jonathan Height. Hey, hey prime members, you can listen to 10% happier early and add free on Amazon music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and add free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, do us a solid and tell us all about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey.