Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris - 616: How to Handle Your Self-Destructive Impulses | Bonus Meditation with Alexis Santos

Episode Date: June 30, 2023

If you’ve been listening to the podcast this week, you probably heard that we’re in the midst of a 3-week series on health and fitness – what we’re calling Get Fit Sanely. To state the obvious, one of the hardest parts of getting fit is to make and break habits. In conjunction with this series, we’re doing something cool over on the Ten Percent Happier app: we’re bringing back our Healthy Habits challenge, a 7-day course that pairs behavior change expert Kelly McGonigal and meditation teacher Alexis Santos. Each day, you’ll hear a short conversation with Dr. McGonigal about how to actually change habits in a beneficial way, without beating yourself up, followed by a meditation from Alexis that helps bring mindfulness to the whole endeavor. If you’re an app subscriber, you can check out the course anytime, but what’s really helpful is to do it with other people. The Healthy Habits Challenge kicks off in the Ten Percent Happier app on Monday, June 19. To join the Healthy Habits Challenge, just download the Ten Percent Happier app wherever you get your apps or by visiting tenpercent.com (all one word, spelled out). If you already have the app, just open it up and follow the instructions to join!And if you’re not already a Ten Percent Happier subscriber, you can join us by starting a free trial that’ll give you access to the challenge along with our entire app.And for today’s bonus meditation, we’re sharing one of the meditations that Alexis contributed to the challenge. It’ll help you get in the right frame of mind to start making a small, effective, doable change. We’ll be sharing more of these meditations from Alexis over the next couple of weeks as well. About Alexis Santos:Alexis has practiced and taught Insight Meditation in both the East and West since 2001. Alexis has completed the Spirit Rock/IMS Teacher Training, teaches retreats across the globe, and currently lives in Portland, Maine.To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Starting With Mindfulness.”See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What does it even mean to live a good life? Is it about happiness, purpose, love, health, or wealth? What really matters in the pursuit of a life well lived? These are the questions award-winning author, founder, and interviewer Jonathan Fields asks his guests on the Top Ranked Good Life Project podcast. Every week, Jonathan sits down with world renowned thinkers and doers, people like Glenn and Doyle, Adam Grant,

Young Pueblo, Jonathan Height, and hundreds more. Start listening right now. Look for the Good Life Project on your favorite podcast app. This is the 10% Happier Podcast. I'm Dan Harris. Hey, everybody. I have said this a million times because it is a million percent true. Booting up healthy habits can be diabolically hard. You know what I mean?

You decide you want to exercise or eat healthy or get more sleep and then you find yourself Suddenly beset by self-destructive urges that threaten to derail the whole operation Today, we've got a guided meditation specifically for those moments This meditation is the culmination of a three-week series on the podcast about taking care of your physical health without compromising your mental health We called it Get Fit Sainly. Alongside this podcast series, our friends over on the 10% happier app have been featuring a seven-day course called Healthy Habits that combines advice from behavior change expert and psychologist Kelly McGonical and meditations from one of our favorite teachers, Alexis Santos. If you're an app subscriber, you can find the course on the courses tab on the app.

And if you're not already a 10% happier subscriber, you can join us by starting a free trial that will give you access to this course along with our entire app. Today's meditation is taken directly from the aforementioned Healthy Habits course. And before we dive in, a little bit more about Alexis. My friend, he has practiced and taught insight meditation in both the East and West since 2001. He's completed the Spirit Iraq IMS teacher training and teaches retreats around the planet and currently lives in Maine. Here we go now with Alexis Santos. Hi, this is Alexis. You've likely seen by now that we might have very clear long term aspirations. Yet in an instant, we can find ourselves back in the grip of whatever old patterns we're trying to be free of. So what's going on? When we get triggered from whatever it is,

it could be something we see or hear, or a challenging emotion that surfaces. The habit of craving or aversion arises. If the craving or aversion is stronger than our awareness and wisdom in that moment, we get pulled into the very behaviors that we're trying to overcome. So that moment, when we feel the urge or the impulse of reactivity, is a really precious moment to bring our practice to. It's here that we discover the possibility of freedom that can feel so elusive. that can feel so elusive.

Let's explore this now. If you haven't already done so, find a posture that brings a sense of ease and comfort, allowing your eyes to gently close, if you like, and having the simple intention to be aware, bringing attention to your direct experience. You might begin to become aware of the body, noticing any sensations that are present. As you settle in, you might become aware of the body breathing, the air flowing in and

out. Or your attention might open to the sounds around you, becoming Set Linkback and simply observing. In this session, we'll practice feeling the urges of wanting an aversion. Rather than reacting to those urges, we'll see what happens when we can observe them from a place of awareness, eventually allowing them to settle. In order to practice this, see if you can find something in your immediate experience

that feels somewhat uncomfortable or unpleasant. Nothing too intense. It might be some pressure from the ground or chair or a dull ache in the knee or other area in the body. And just begin to feel the actual sensations, the hardness, throbbing. Notice any reaction you might be having. Paying attention to any resistance that comes up or sensing the urge for it to go away. If you weren't paying attention, you might unknowingly shift the body, get up, or scratch. So just notice if there is a tendency to react and see if you can sit with this for a When we bring mindfulness to this process, we discover how to be with these mental reactions, as if we're riding a wave, the energy builds, the desire to react becomes stronger, and then we might find that sooner or later it passes, and the mind may return to a sense of ease. Stay with us for a few moments, just observing any mental reactions you find, stepping being aware of them. And then allowing yourself to relax again, just observing and settling in an open way. Feeling the urge when it comes up

and riding it out with awareness. It's something that we can become more and more skilled at each time we practice it. You might try this out with the intention you are working with. See if you can picture a moment when you're about to follow an urge or an impulse that would lead you away from your goal. Notice how the attention is likely focused in on what it wants or doesn't want. And imagine as you bring awareness to the moment that your attention can begin to widen. You might begin to notice how the body feels, noticing any energy or activation that might be present, and then becoming aware of the mind, any mental energies, the urge, the awareness even further,

noticing where you are, the sounds that are around you, the colors and shapes of your surroundings. And imagine remembering your deeper aspiration, the joy that comes from taking any steps in of your commitment. Great. And then again, simply being here in this present moment. It's through cultivating more and more moments of awareness, like this one, that our practice can show up in our day-to-day life in the moments when we have a choice to make. So that rather than being pulled right into a habitual urge, we can sense the possibility of surfing or writing it out. Whenever you're ready, you can allow your eyes to open if they've been closed.

In the days ahead, you might try relating to these moments when your urges get triggered as another chance to practice. Good luck. See you next time. Thank you to Alexis. You can find more meditations like that one over on the 10% happier app. Just download the app wherever you get your apps to get started. And while you're there, check out the Healthy Habits course.

We'll see you right back here on Monday with a brand new episode. My guest is the great comedian and fascinating human practicing Buddhist, practicing many things, actually. Deep thinker, very funny dude, Duncan Trusson. Hey, hey, prime members. You can listen to 10% happier early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad-free

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