Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris - How to Handle our Collective Grief | Sharon Salzberg Bonus Meditation

Episode Date: April 24, 2020

In this meditation Sharon helps you navigate the feelings and sensations of grief safely, using the breath as a neutral landing place for your attention. Meditation available on Ten Percent H...appier: https://10percenthappier.app.link/SzpXSLqDV5 Sharon Salzberg on Ten Percent Happier: https://10percenthappier.app.link/NOCqrWwik0 Sharon Salzberg & Joseph Goldstein - Online Retreat April 27th - May 1st: https://www.dharma.org/joseph-goldstein-sharon-salzberg-shelter-for-the-heart-and-mind-an-online-retreat/ About Sharon: https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/ A towering figure in the meditation world, Sharon Salzberg is a prominent teacher & New York Times best-selling author. She has played a crucial role bringing mindfulness and lovingkindness practices to the West. Sharon co-founded the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) alongside Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield and is the author of nine books, including Lovingkindness, Real Happiness, and the most recent Real Love. Sharon lives in New York City and teaches around the world. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 What does it even mean to live a good life? Is it about happiness, purpose, love, health, or wealth? What really matters in the pursuit of a life well lived? These are the questions award-winning author, founder, and interviewer Jonathan Fields asks his guests on the Top Ranked Good Life Project podcast. Every week, Jonathan sits down with world renowned thinkers and doers, people like Glenn and Doyle, Adam Grant,
Starting point is 00:00:23 Young Pueblo, Jonathan Height, and hundreds more. Start listening right now. Look for the Good Life Project on your favorite podcast app. Hey y'all, it's your girl, Kiki Palmer. I'm an actress, singer, and entrepreneur. On my new podcast, Baby This is Kiki Palmer. I'm asking friends, family, and experts the questions that are in my head. Like, it's only fans only bad.
Starting point is 00:00:44 Where did memes come from? And where's Tom from MySpace? Listen to Baby, this is Kiki Palmer on Amazon music or wherever you get your podcast. From ABC, this is the 10% happier podcast. I'm Dan Harris. Hey guys, it's Friday so we're dropping a bonus meditation into the feed. Earlier in the week on the podcast, we talked about the issue of grief. It was fascinating because it turns out grief isn't just something you feel when you've lost a loved one. Of course, that is an appropriate time for grief, but it's also something millions of us
Starting point is 00:01:22 are experiencing. Even if we haven't lost someone, we're feeling it because we've lost a way of life or we've lost a sense of security. And so we're gonna drop a meditation now from Sharon Salzberg, one of the most popular meditation teachers in the 10% happier ecosystem and just a truly legendary teacher in her own right
Starting point is 00:01:43 on the issue of grief. So here we go, Sharon Salisberg. Hi, this is Sharon Salisberg. Brief is one of the more difficult feelings that we have. Most of us have the sense that we haven't really been given the tools. Perhaps that it's a shameful kind of feeling or our friends or family are getting kind of impatient like hurry up this is going on long enough. They're all kinds of extra conditioning layers that we tend to add to the
Starting point is 00:02:14 feeling and many times we discover that the actions we take to avoid simply being with the feeling are far more burdensome and complex and harmful than it would be if we actually just sat and experienced what was actually happening. So even though it is somewhat difficult, we're going to practice doing just that. So we can begin by sitting comfortably or lying down. Whatever seems right to you. You can have your eyes closed or slightly open. The anchor for our attention, the refuge, is the breath, just the normal natural breath, wherever it's strongest for you or clearest for you. And if you particularly want to work with the feeling of grief, you might have to bring up consciously the situation, the loss, the challenge, whatever it is, And allow the feeling to fill your body. You may have all kinds of thoughts of regret, dismay, I wish I had done this or should have
Starting point is 00:04:11 done that. But you can let those thoughts come and go as you anchor your attention in your body. What are you feeling? feeling. One of my teachers once encouraged us, imagine this spaceship has arrived and his Martians come out and they come up to and they say, what is anger? What is grief? What are you feeling? So we start with the body.
Starting point is 00:04:58 What are you feeling in your body? Your chest and your stomach and your heart and your throat. What's happening? And then as with other painful things, we're going to break down the experience into its component parts. What are three things you find within the grief? Sadness, guilt, anger, could be anything. And we pay attention in this way, which means we're not condemning what we're feeling. We're not lost in it. As though to say, this is the only thing I will ever feel. What's going to be like in 15 years?
Starting point is 00:06:38 We need to be with it in the moment, allowing it to unfold without pushing against it without being lost. One of the different strands of emotion that are arising that coming together we're calling grief. And look at how they're changing. And if you start getting lost in story overwhelmed, you can recognize that. See if you can let go of what's distracting you. Come back to the breath. It's quite painful to have this sense of grief. In addition to that, we sometimes add on a sense of isolation. I'm the only one who will ever feel this sense of permanence. This is all I will ever feel.
Starting point is 00:08:40 A sense of guilt. I shouldn't feel this at all. It should be beyond this. If you can notice these add-ons, you can practice letting go. Bring your attention back to the moment, back to the breath, back to the feeling. And if you feel the energy for it, it doesn't feel forced or contrived. You can turn your attention for a few moments to that which you have to be grateful for. The fact that you're breathing. The fact that you're interested enough in change to try these kinds of things.
Starting point is 00:09:56 The fact that you have a capacity to meditate. Feeling the breeze against your skin, whatever it might be, if it feels forced or contrived, it's better not to do that right now, but at some point, we bring in that side of the picture. Both are true, loss, struggle, and all that we have to be grateful for to appreciate just in a moment. Now when you feel ready, you can open your eyes or lift your gaze. And notice how you feel. Just to sit with a difficult state is a really good thing rather than be governed by fear
Starting point is 00:11:23 of it or the message that it's wrong we shouldn't have it. This is part of the truth of the present moment and our awareness is able to encompass it, to accompany us as we pay attention through all the different elements of life's journey. Thank you for your practice today and I'm wishing you well. Hey, hey, prime members. You can listen to 10% happier early and add free on Amazon music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and add free with Wondery Plus in Apple podcasts. Before you go, do us a solid and tell us all about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash Survey.
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Starting point is 00:12:54 And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app.

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