Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris - How To Keep Your Cool In A Room Full Of Chaos Gremlins Jeff Warren

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

If you've ever found yourself immediately abandoning your adult composure the second someone around you gets upset, we've got your back. In today's episode, the inimitable Jeff Warren returns with a practice to help you stop absorbing everyone else's stress and start holding healthy boundaries without turning into a jerk. Jeff — who is both a dear friend of Dan's and one of the funniest meditation teachers alive — walks you through how to stay grounded in your own body even when the people around you are melting down. This meditation is especially helpful if you tend to: Fix other people's problems without being asked Rush to make everything okay the instant someone frowns Get overwhelmed by other people's moods Lose your boundaries around demanding or sensitive humans (including the tiny ones) To get more meditations from Jeff and our other teachers — plus join our weekly live sessions (every Tuesday at 4pm ET) — you can sign up at DanHarris.com. Related episodes: Working With a Brain That Doesn't Behave | Jeff Warren Join Dan's online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Thanks to our sponsors: AT&T:   Happy Holidays from AT&T. Connecting changes everything. Airbnb: Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com/host. To advertise on the show, contact [e-mail] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

This is the 10% Happier Podcast. I'm Dan Harris. Hey, hey, happy Sunday, party people. Today, we are bringing you a brand new guided meditation from my great friend, Jeff Warren, who's both hilarious and very wise. This meditation is all about how not to be so susceptible to emotional contagion, how to be the calmest person in the room during a shitstorm. In other words, it's about boundaries. You can get more meditations from Jeff and my other meditation teacher friends if you sign up at Dan Harris.com.

Subscribers also get access to our weekly live meditation and Q&A sessions. We do those every Tuesday at four. Enough shilling for me after the break, a meditation with Jeffrey Warren. Hey, I'm Jeff. So I'm a grown-ass adult who moves through the world with great confidence and self-sufficiency. and the very second my tiny six-year-old son squeaks with unhappiness, I fall all over myself trying to make him happy. So yeah, I'm a people-pleaser, especially with him.

The antidote to people-pleasing is boundaries. It's about pausing, coming back into our own bodies, and learning to handle our discomfort. Then from this more autonomous place, we can hopefully make a more appropriate response. So this meditation can help even if you're not a people-pleaser, because my friend, you are still a social animal surrounded by annoying humans. Let's go. Okay, so eyes open or closed, whatever's comfortable for you.

And a few slow, deliberate breaths. Stretching up on the inhale and settling down on the exhale. And just breathing here, being a body. letting everything settle for a few beats. If you like to help with this, you can rest your attention on the out breath or some other soothing sound or sensation. Mind wanders.

Come on back. Patient, not in a rush. Okay, so we're interested in this issue of boundaries, how many of us make other people's business our own and then lose ourselves in the process. So how does this happen? for you. Maybe you have a demanding person in your life, so to avoid drama or discomfort, you just give them what they want, whatever that is. Or maybe you just want to be liked.

Or maybe you were taught to always put others first, so you never really learn to attune to your own needs and feelings. I can relate to that. Or something else. The instruction is to imagine in some real situation where you're feeling this pressure. And then get curious. What does that feel like in your body? As an example, when my kid is freaking out, it feels intolerable. This contraction in my face and heart that makes me just want to jump out of my skin. Maybe for you, it's more subtle, physical pressure, resentment, feeling of spacing out.

what does this kind of social pressure feel like in your body? So there's two parts to this. The first is recognizing the experience in our bodies. The second is learning to feel that without acting on it, being bigger than the impulse. And we can practice that right now. So some person or situations kind of pulling us out of our center. Instead, we come back rooting our attention,

down in our bodies, feeling your feet or your seat underneath you, lifting your spine, feeling the support of the ground. And it's like, yeah, I'm not going anywhere. I can stay right here inside this feeling all day long. Nice. So we're exploring what it feels like to ground in our bodies. That urge to react, to pacify, to just, get something over with, that can still be there. But now it's happening within this larger bounded container of your body. So sometimes to get solid, I kind of imagine my skin shrink wrapping around me, kind of satisfying tautness.

No matter what's happening, whatever urges come up, the urges will pass, and still we're just sitting here. Endless situations will try to pull us out of ourselves. so there may still be a lingering sense of one of these for you. Practices to come down out of thoughts, out of any knee-jerk responses, and connect to this bigger field of body sensation. Maybe the steady breath or the edge of your skin,

maybe the weight of your body. Mind wanders. Come back to that. Nice. So you're just sitting and savoring the sense. sense of your own autonomous physicality. And that's one key to healthy boundaries, knowing where you end and someone else begins.

So keep sitting there. Breathing, feeling, patient as sensations, rise and fall, sitting in your own sovereignty. Okay, that's the practice, friend. Go ahead and open your eyes if they were closed. so when you're feeling pulled out of yourself, instead, pause, breathe, and come back to your body.

Sit by sit, life situation by life situation, we're learning to tolerate our own feelings of discomfort in the face of someone else's unhappiness, whether that's real or projected. And over time, equanimity grows. Thanks for being here. Thank you, Jeff Warren. You're the best. And thank you, dear listener, for meditating with us. If you want to get more meditations from my meditation teacher friends, as I mentioned at the top here, you can sign up at Dan Harris.com.

We also do live meditations every Tuesday of four. I'll be live tomorrow with Jeff, who's our teacher of the month, this month. That would be really fun. You should join us. And finally, thank you to everybody who works so hard on this show. producers are Tara Anderson and Eleanor Vasili. Our recording and engineering is handled by the great folks over at Pod People. Lauren Smith is our managing producer. Marissa Schneiderman is our senior producer. DJ Kashmir is our executive producer. And Nick Thorburn of the band Islands wrote

our theme.