Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris - See Through Unconscious Bias | Bonus Meditation with Sebene Selassie

Episode Date: June 12, 2020

Listen as Sebene helps you cut through patterns of self-judgement and prejudice toward others with the simple tools of curiosity & kindness. If you enjoyed this meditation, check our our new,... free collection of meditations called Relating to Race in the Ten Percent Happier app: https://10percenthappier.app.link/RelatingToRace You can also directly access this meditation in the app through this link: https://10percenthappier.app.link/SeeThroughUnconsciousBiasPod About Sebene Selassie: Born in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia and raised in Washington, D.C, Seb has been drawn to explore the intersection of different cultures. She was a self-professed "really bad dharma student," until she was diagnosed with stage-three breast cancer at age 34. Then she says she became "a really good dharma student." Selassie has now survived breast cancer three times and is a meditation teacher, transformational coach, and community advocate in New York City. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 What does it even mean to live a good life? Is it about happiness, purpose, love, health, or wealth? What really matters in the pursuit of a life well lived? These are the questions award-winning author, founder, and interviewer Jonathan Fields asks his guests on the Top Ranked Good Life Project podcast. Every week, Jonathan sits down with world renowned thinkers and doers, people like Glenn and Doyle, Adam Grant,
Starting point is 00:00:23 Young Pueblo, Jonathan Height, and hundreds more. Start listening right now. Look for the Good Life Project on your favorite podcast app. Hey y'all, it's your girl, Kiki Palmer. I'm an actress, singer, and entrepreneur. On my new podcast, Baby This is Kiki Palmer. I'm asking friends, family, and experts the questions that are in my head. Like, it's only fans only bad.
Starting point is 00:00:44 Where did memes come from? And where's Tom from MySpace? Listen to Baby, this is Kiki Palmer on Amazon music or wherever you get your podcast. For ABC, this is the 10% happier podcast. I'm Dan Harris. Hey guys, here we are on another Friday. so we're dropping as is our want another bonus. This is a bonus meditation. It's actually part of a new and free collection of meditations that you can find in the 10% happier app under the heading of relating to race. This collection contains meditations that can help you contemplate your own identity, meet
Starting point is 00:01:23 the intense emotions that many of us are feeling around race and shift your patterns of pain and bias. So we'll put a link to the collection in the show notes if you want to go beyond this particular meditation. This one that we're dropping here today is from Seven A. Salassi. She is by way of background a meditation teacher and writer based in Brooklyn. And she's one of the core teachers on the 10% happier app. She was born in Ethiopia and raised in Washington, D.C. And that personal story has led her to explore the intersection of different cultures. She was, she describes herself a really bad Dharma student until she was diagnosed with stage three,
Starting point is 00:02:05 breast cancer at age 34, then she describes it, she became a really good Dharma student. She has now survived breast cancer three times and is, as I said, a meditation teacher, also a transformational coach and a community advocate based in Brooklyn. So here we go with Seven A. Celessi. Hi, this is Seven A. You may have heard this term implicit bias before. Sometimes referred to as unconscious bias. It refers to the gap between our conscious values of
Starting point is 00:02:37 equality and our unconscious tendencies towards prejudice. The point is that everyone has some prejudice thoughts, which are determined by the culture around us. Whether it's about gender, race, sexual orientation, size, class, or other things, we all have bias thinking. Here's the thing. Over time, and with patience, mindfulness can help us to bridge the gap between our conscious values and our unconscious conditioning. We can use mindfulness to see and even release implicit bias. Let's try it. Find a comfortable position wherever you are, seated, standing or lying down.
Starting point is 00:03:28 The eyes can be open or closed. Let's start by finding the balance between being relaxed and alert. Exploring sensitive topics can sometimes create tension. So see if you can soften any part of the body that feels tense. Soften the jaw, the shoulders, the belly. The belly. Perhaps you want to open the chest by rolling the shoulders up and back.
Starting point is 00:04:21 Take a couple of deep breaths in and out through the nose as you connect to this moment of your body right here right now. Breathing in and out. Now allow the breath to come to its natural How do you feel in this moment? What's happening right now? For the next few moments, simply notice what sensations, thoughts, or emotions are here for you as you continue to settle in. You can use the breath as an anchor if that's helpful. Continuing to invite a softening or release of any tension. Feeling each in-breath and out-breath. At any time during this meditation, you can come back to this simple presence. Connecting with sensations in the body, and especially the breath, is a great way to reconnect your cut up and thoughts. Bring to mind an image of yourself that evokes criticism in you. It might be an incident from the past, or it might be an ongoing judgment towards yourself. It could be related to a perceived
Starting point is 00:07:07 failure or an aspect of yourself that you've scorned. Maybe you feel you haven't achieved enough throughout your life, or that you've recently gained weight, or that you will never meet the one. Choose an issue or self-judgment that isn't traumatic, but also isn't totally neutral. Something that's an ongoing self-criticism that you encounter. I'll give you a moment to choose something meaningful for you, and know that you can always do this meditation again to work on a different issue. Okay.
Starting point is 00:07:53 Now, bring that issue or self-judgment to the front of your mind. Are there particular words or ideas related to this issue? What are they? Perhaps there's an image or even a feeling that's emerging around this self-judgment. Notice if there's anything about it you can see clearly. Perhaps there is an expectation or belief might be. See if you can be curious about it. Not trying to solve to allow it. If you feel any constriction or tension, you can take a couple of deep breaths in and out as you continue to
Starting point is 00:09:45 simply acknowledge and allow what's coming up. Now, allow yourself to feel how this self-judgment shows up in your body. Taking a deep breath if that helps you connect to the body. See if you can sense where you feel this thought or issue about yourself. Maybe a constriction in the throat, maybe something else. See if you can meet this feeling of self-judgment with kindness. What would that feel like for you? Perhaps putting a hand on the area of the body where you sense this issue, or maybe saying it's okay to whatever is arising. Take a moment on your own to bring some curiosity and kindness to your feelings and sensations of this self-judgment. 1.5% Now let's go a bit deeper to see what might be underneath this issue.
Starting point is 00:12:18 Try and stay connected to the felt sense of this issue. Without going into stories, see if you have a sense of where this self-judgment originated. Perhaps there is an expectation from family or peers, messages from the media or society. When did you first encounter this idea or belief? Who or what is the voice of your self-judgment? Is there a face to your self-judgment? Perhaps it's specific people, or maybe it's a particular place, or even a feeling or sense memory. Can you sense how bias is conditioned that this may be not your thought, but a condition
Starting point is 00:13:27 belief you internalized? How does that make you feel? As we end the exploration of this self-judgment, take a moment to notice if there's even a little more space or relaxation around this issue. Okay, we're going to continue on to someone else. Setting aside yourself and your own self-judgment, bring to mind someone or a group of people whom you regularly judge based on a characteristic, not a behavior. This could be around race, gender, culture, ethnicity, class, size, appearance. Maybe you always judge rich people or people with disabilities. Or maybe you've noticed you tense up around people of a different race or culture.
Starting point is 00:14:49 Maybe you often don't notice certain people because of their age or appearance. Take a moment to consider who this person or people might be and bring a picture to mind. Okay, are there particular words or ideas related to this person or people? What are they? Are notice if there's a belief connected to this person or people? That they should look different or be different? Can you sense what this expectation or belief might be? that they should look different or be different. Can you sense what this expectation or belief might be?
Starting point is 00:15:58 Whatever is emerging makes space and allow it. See if you can get curious about it. Not trying to solve or fix it. Simply noticing how it emerges for you right now. Now, see if you can meet the feeling of this bias with kindness, knowing that this too is a conditioned thought or belief. Take a moment on your own to bring some curiosity and kindness to whatever is arising. The most important thing to remember about unconscious bias, are you ready for it? It's unconscious. While none of us want to hold racist views or sexist ideas, the subconscious mind has stored biased data from society, and we exhibit that bias in our thoughts, speech, and actions.
Starting point is 00:17:39 Sometimes we may even end up unintentionally harming others or ourselves. And bias isn't always hostile. Sometimes it shows up simply not noticing people who are different than us. That might lead us to think the answer is erasing differences, like not seeing color. But differences aren't the problem. Pregneless and discrimination are. Let's pause and take just a few breaths here to let the first contemplation and those words settle. Notice how you feel in your body right now. Now let's go a bit deeper to see what might be underneath this issue of bias of others.
Starting point is 00:18:53 So keeping this other person or people in your mind, and without going too deep into stories, see if you have a sense of where this bias towards this person or people comes from. Perhaps there are messages from your family, culture, the media or society. When did you first encounter this idea or belief about this person or people? Do you have a general idea or even a distinct memory of something you saw or something that you heard? Who or what is the voice of your bias? Is there a face to your bias? Perhaps it's specific people, or maybe it's a particular place, or even a feeling or Feeling or sense memory. How does it make you feel to know that this is not your thought, but the culture's thought? As we end this meditation, take a moment to notice if there's even a little more space or relaxation around this issue.
Starting point is 00:20:47 And simply notice whatever is happening in the body right now. Remember, whether self or other directed, most bias is unconscious. Implicit bias doesn't mean we are bad people. It just means we're human people conditioned by the culture around us. As the great Indian teacher, Krishna Murthy, said, You think you're thinking your thoughts, you're not. You're thinking the culture's thoughts. Mindfulness can help us to bridge the gap between our conscious values and our unconscious conditioning, to know when we're thinking the culture's thoughts. You can open your eyes now and begin to move your hands and feet.
Starting point is 00:21:57 Let yourself reconnect to your surroundings as we end this meditation. Thanks for making time to explore this issue as part of your practice. I hope you received some benefit from it and that you enjoy the rest of your day. See you next time. Big thanks to Seb. Don't forget to check out the free guided meditations that we've posted in the app called relating to race. There are also new talks up on the app on this issue, so we're trying to do a lot of programming around this. Check it all out. There's a link in the show notes here.
Starting point is 00:22:42 If you want to directly access this meditation in the app, we also put a link that will take you right there. We'll be back on Monday with a fresh episode. We're going to continue the conversation we began this week with white people talking to other white people about whiteness. So expect more from us on that score on Monday. In the meantime, please everybody have a great weekend. Stay safe. Hey, hey, Prime members. You can listen to 10% happier early and add free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen early and add free with Wondery Plus in Apple podcasts. Before you go, do us a solid and tell us all about yourself by completing a short survey
Starting point is 00:23:31 at Wondery.com slash Survey. Hey, I'm Aresha, and I'm Brooke. And we're the hosts of Wondery's podcast, Even the Rich, where we bring you absolutely true and absolutely shocking stories about the most famous families and biggest celebrities the world has ever seen. Our newer series is all about drag icon RuPaul Charles. After a childhood of being ignored by his absentee father, Ru goes out searching for love and acceptance, but the road to success is a rocky one. Substance abuse and mental health struggles threaten to veer Rue off course.
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