Ten Thousand Losses - Dick Boofing ft. Justin Roczniak

Episode Date: September 21, 2023

Everyone's favorite polish problem podcaster Justin Roczniak of WTYP joins us on what is one of the most deranged episodes we've ever recorded. There is some sports in there, and a voicemail. But it's mostly bad impressions and the invention of dick boofing.  Follow us on Twitter: https://twitter.com/tenklossespod Liam: https://twitter.com/notliamanders0n Tom: https://twitter.com/tohickontpain  Rocz: https://twitter.com/who_shot_jgr  Leave us a voicemail (leave your name and pronouns): 267-371-7218 Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/tenthousandlosses 

He is actually going to eject a fan. Because bad things happen in Philadelphia, bad things. The fan jumped into the penalty box area. Joy doesn't come to Philadelphia and stand here and dodge an ice ball. We, the Dallas Cowboys, have a sense of John Cooney. Hey, we're back. Welcome back to 94.1 WIP, the three-headed monster. Hello, everybody.

This is Spike Eskin here. I don't do everybody this is Spike Eskin here don't do the voice for Spike Eskin you fucker I fucking hate Spike Eskin dude I just fucking hate that guy I'm allowed to keep that in there I have to cut it you know what you can keep that in let it be known that I yelled at you about it

I do it's from love it's from love is it yes um so you don't go to salesian high school man no look i'm circumcised i'm halfway jewish welcome back to 10 000 losses episode 70 uh we're doing a speed run here because we recorded an hour and 15 minute long bonus before this you might hear another voice. Yeah. And then they kept me on.

Yeah. You tried to leave and we bullied you to come back. Yes. Which we're proud of. This is actually harassment. Yeah. Do you remember when they were trying to get everyone to say Harris Smith so he doesn't have an ass in it?

What? Oh, have you ever heard that? That has something worse, which is Harris, which is the Berg, which is where all our problems come from. Hey, Josh Harris. Yes. That's also where a lot of our,

well, that's where the problem is the bonus episode comes from because this is your regular 10,000 losses recorded in reverse. It's the only Philadelphia sports podcast that exists. I'm Tom Payne. My pronouns are he, him. And with me is my co-host, yay. Liam.

Hi, my name is Liam Anderson. And my pronouns are also he and him. And we have a guest. We do have a guest. Yeah. Hi, I'm Justin Rosniak. I'm the person who's talking right now. My pronouns are he and him.

And in the Zencaster window, it says I'm Justin Rosniak i'm the person who's talking right now my pronouns are he and him and in in the zancaster window it says i'm justin rosniak but that's yeah that's because we're too cheap to pay for two subscriptions yeah you've uh you've usurped my position yeah we learned today that right that the trash future boys use one for what is it like three podcasts yeah this is true yeah because hell of a way uses there's a joint hell of a way lions one there's obviously the two of us share one and then i think trash future kill james bond and formerly bottle men probably share one okay i i mean i gotta say this i assume that since zencaster barely works it probably doesn't have rules yeah that's the trade-off right i mean it doesn't work dude it sucks ass do you remember the time i complained

about zencaster publicly and their cfo was like how can i help live during we were recording oh my god it's it's like it's like it's the worst podcasting app, except for all the other ones. Yeah, they're all unusable. Although Zencast now has an iOS app, so I look forward to recording live from my phone. Oh, I can't wait for the fucking toilet takes. Oh, yeah, buddy. Yeah, hold on a second. I got to fucking flush. I appreciate that we're a podcast like very serious businesses have reached out

to and if you go back to the penn central episode one you can hear an audible toilet flush keep that in keep that in i gotta check the email see if we've gotten it we haven't gotten any since that that bank the the betting app the We got one that was very, like, for male. That was like, oh, improve the listening of your sports podcast. I got someone trying to offer to edit. Yeah, I've done that. Yeah, I'm not. You get that on, well, there's your problem all the time.

Yeah. And also, like, turn your content into TikToks. I'm pretty sure we could do that if we wanted to. Don't need other people to do that yeah exactly yeah um so uh like we said before all right we're getting punchy this is weird this is podcast delirium these these these poor souls fucking record is like their fourth podcast recorded there's some shit third um third but yeah have let me. Don't let the truth get in the way of a good story. No. Do you remember?

I recorded 15 podcasts uphill both ways. I have had days where I've recorded like we the worst one I can remember doing that I've ever done was actually only two podcasts. It was what was it? The college episode and then Bo Paul. Like back to back. It was eight hours of podcasting. And that's a tone shift.

It was a tone shift, actually. You go from dead kids to dead kids. We have to cut 20 minutes of beer because we're incoherent at the end. Yes. Release the Liam cut, Roz. I gotta go through. It's on Zencaster, isn't it? That's a good point, yeah.

Do we have Zencaster then? No, that was when we were still doing it on Discord, I think. Yeah. Yeah, so did I say we record? Yeah, we recorded the bonus. Go listen to that. It'll be good. Actually, no. Generally, it was really good. Yeah. It that. It'll be good. Actually, no. Generally, it was really good.

Yeah. It's a dollar, but more if you're cool. Voicemail call 267-7... Fuck. 267-371-7218. Give us your name and pronouns and tell us what you would do with Shohei Otani's penis. Patreon.com slash 10,000 losses. Yeah. I just want to say

one thing. I hate to derail, but I got a Discord message. We are now in demand for Roz knowing about concrete falling. And bring his stupid friend, too. Oh. We got one from

podcasting is praxis oh yeah yeah that is true they do want us to come on 9-11 no I said 9-11 because they wanted 9-12 at first and I was like that's not going to work that's the live show yeah

come to the live show yeah do that are tickets still available? I can put it. Well, shit. This is going to be up like on Monday. It doesn't matter. This is going to be the Salvador Allende Memorial episode of Thousand Losses.

And I will be there. So all I can say about Salvador Allende is that if Fidel Castro gives you a gun, you're not supposed to shoot yourself with a gun. You're supposed to shoot other people with the gun. Yeah. Yeah. You shoot the Chicago boys. Yeah.

You're supposed to at least get a couple rounds off. Don't kill yourself with it. Come on. Yeah. You go out. You go out and just firing Fidel's gold AK into the ceiling if you have to. Yes. What else are you doing, man?

You're going to get shot and dumped into a shallow grave one way or the other. Look, what did Shane Davidson once say to both of us? If you're going to die, you might as well be a dick about it. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Take the bastards out with you. Yeah. Do not go gentle into that night. Exactly. Take the bastards out with you. Yeah. Do not.

Do not go gentle into that night. No. Yeah. Yeah. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Exactly. Firing 30 rounds of 762. This is that.

Yeah, this is this is our last. Our bonus episode was the anti-union pro-Israeli podcast. This is our Salvador Ande was a pussy podcast. Not take machine. This is your only Philadelphia based shining path. Mark did nothing wrong. All right, let's do this. All right, let's fucking go. All right, let's talk about sports.

Oh, man. Oh, my God, we can't. No, don't cut Fark did nothing wrong. I'm not cutting that out. If it's not an actionable threat, if it's not me saying a very offensive joke, it's not an actionable threat, or if it's not me saying a very offensive joke, it's not getting... Oh, my God.

Podcast delirium. It's real, folks. It's... Oh, my God. What did I have to cut from the one bonus we did with... Oh, it was me doing the voice of what... In NCAA 06, you get like a girlfriend. Yeah.

And we were looking at the pictures, and I was doing a voice for one of them. I can't. Nope. That's way. That's too mean. Fuck. All right. Speaking of mean shit.

Fucking. Do we talk about Jonathan Gannon? Yeah. Go fuck yourself, Jonathan. Go fuck yourself, dude. Get fucked. Fucking. So he's the head coach of the Arizona Cardinals, formerly the defensive coordinator

of the Philadelphia Eagles. And he just can't get us off his mind. Will it rent free, I guess? Living rent free, yeah. He's just like, well, it wasn't my fault. It's like, yeah, it was. You're the DC. He blamed... There was a puff piece in the athletic.

I was thinking about doing a reading, but it wasn't like interesting enough to really go deep into it. Fuck it. But he was complaining about the Eagles front office meddling in his plans. He was complaining about – what else was he complaining about? He took shots at Sirianni. Sirianni and Slay. He was kind of back and forth. Sirianni

said he's way too fucking meticulous. But then he said he needed it. But he did take shots at Darius Slay obliquely by saying you should have had that. We've run that a million times. You should have had that. But you know what? At the end of the day, we we left him in Arizona.

Yeah. And then he had impermissible contact, as it turns out. Yeah. But I just love that. That matters. But now you're on the tarmac. Yeah. Fuck.

Yeah. You can you can take take your own plane home. Fuck you. Yeah. Fuck this guy. It's just, you know, go birds, obviously. Go birds. Go birds. Go birds.

Excuse me. Jesus. We're going to be playing the neutered Patriots. I did like it. Did you see? Was it Bill Belichick did say that Jalen Hurts is a top three player? Yes. And also Bill Belichick broke up with his longtime girlfriend.

So there's going to be some bizarro world old school Patriots schemer. We're going to see the flex bone. Yeah. No one's home to the Mac anymore. T-formations from like 1936. Student body right. Notre Dame box. They're going to run Navy option, baby.

Oh, my God. You know what? At this point, fuck it. Why not? You got enough white ride receivers. It looks like the Navy team. So, you know. Oh, all right.

Yeah. Yeah. So Eagles are playing the Patriots this Sunday. But I guess we would have already won by the time this comes out on 9-11. Yes, hopefully. Yeah. Yeah. Otherwise, if we don't

win on Sunday... We will be committing sepico. Yeah. Rin's going to be the one that chops her heads off for us. Yeah. Let's see. What else? Fucking the Phillies?

Up and down, but still up and down. All right. San Diego? Well, they won yesterday and they got blanked 8-0 the day before. Oh, yeah. I got talking about fucking. I said I got to talk about fucking.

I said, I'm not worried about the Brewers. What are I? A fucking dumbass. Yeah. Got destroyed. Yeah, it was ugly. I mean, it was it was absolutely meaningfully ugly, bad.

Yeah. So that's put them into a team. Actually, you know what? I don't think I want to play them in the playoffs. I don't want to see the Marlins, which is like, actually, you know what? I don't think I want to play them in the playoffs. I don't want to see the postseason. Which is like, the Phillies played down to these teams. Yeah, the Brown Notes Stadium.

Have I told you that theory, Russ? Yeah, you have. Which theory? That the Lone Depot Park where the Miami Marlins play, it reverberates in a way that somehow crosses anxiety in the away dugout. That would be a good strategy. You'd have to be a really good ballpark designer. But yeah, if you can make everyone like shit themselves, that would be a pretty good ballpark Design if you ask me unless you know

They made maybe made you like Switch dugouts every once in a while Which but you know Well you know we wouldn't Be able to tell the difference of Kyle Schwarber Should his pants or not while he's running Oh he runs like he's carrying soup I know

Speaking of He blasted what? Number 42 yesterday? Number 41? My man is getting closer to hitting 200 again. Yeah, he was etched up for like 193. I just love that he makes the old school stat guys so mad. Mad. Yes, dude.

This guy is a fucking bum. I don't understand. He don't. It's like, well, dude has like 117 walks. So the fuck? Also, I hate to say this. I'm going to sound like a proper lunatic. Yes.

Phillies have played 139. Yeah. They're 13 and a half games back. And Atlanta is starting to look just a little shitty. Are you going for it? Are you thinking? I know, but like, yes. Right.

Like, I do remember that thing that I told you a million times that Corinne turned to me when Bryce hit the home run and launched us past the LCS and was like, and you believed in them and nobody else did. And you believe the whole time. And I had to be like, I didn't believe them until like five minutes ago. I believe in this fucking team now. And all these champs, baby. Send it. Take it to the division.

Take it to the division. Send it. Oh, there we go. Put it into the ether. If we have a stadium following Hurricane Lee, which is a lock, it's going to happen. We're all going to die in a Category 5 hitting the East Coast. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah.

I'm excited. It won't rain into Ross's neighborhood just to punish him. It probably will. That's usually how it happens. I'm like, give me the worst weather possible. Then it just doesn't happen. Yeah. It's probably getting broken up by the hills like West Sea.

Fucking mainline. Stealing your water. Villain Bill was got water rights. He's 195 now. He gets three or four more hits and he's going to be at 200. Yeah. If only he could hit like 250.

He would be an MVP. I mean, it's crazy how statistics work that way, except for his defense, which is horrible. Which is horrible, right. Yeah. But I mean, the Phillies, Bryce Harper, the beard thing, what the fuck, dude? He looks like a lad.

He looks like a senator from Utah. What did he do? He shaved his beard. He shaved his beard? Yeah. Bryce Harper shaved his beard? Yeah. Yes.

Look it up. I'm looking it up right now. It doesn't look, he looks like a senator. He looks older without it. He looks like a senator. He looks older without it. He looks younger with a beard. Which is usually the opposite. Okay, yeah.

No, I see that. I definitely see that. That guy needs some whiskers. I got it. That guy is... His face is a little fucked up i gotta tell you uh september 11th through the 13th right we play four games against the braves we see we if we sweep if we sweep bucket and all his chance book it book it oh man, I'm getting a little hard. Yeah. Fuck it. Fuck it. Well, there was a friend of the podcast, Mike Hammerito on Twitter, is finding some interesting statistical anomalies with the Braves exit velocity.

And they are several deviations away from the norm, which, according to him, may be explained by the hypothesis of them knowing what they're going to be getting. And perhaps the Pitchcom has been hacked. Interesting. The Pitchcom website, go look it up. I guarantee, like, we could social engineer our way into getting one. It's, it's, it's. Oh, yeah. If I call that number and be like, hey, getting one it's it's it's oh yeah if i call that number and be like hey listen it's oh sorry i got bad connection listen it's pete down

at down at css bank park look the fucking unit's not working again can you get me the encryption thing i fuck i don't you know i just have like noise the bear and the website's designed it's it's still got like it's stock like the the buttons are still like shop and there's nothing in the shop. Like, yeah, yeah. So it's like I just spent I spent a couple hours last year clicking on things just to see where I could get it. I can find I get the manual. But yes. Yeah, that's good.

Security by design. Yeah, yeah's good. Security by design. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So if the Braves turn out to be fucking cheaters, I will have, I will die with a shitting grin on my face. Yeah, me too. I'm very being a Philly's jersey. Yeah.

And I like a lot of the Braves players, except like, it was like, there's Ronald Cooney Jr. is really fun to watch. I know. But I fucking hate the Braves. I fucking hate their fans.

Yep. Phil Philly. I, I, I fucking hate the Braves. I fucking hate their fans. Yep. Philly, I tolerate a Met far, and you know, Mrs. Met, yeah, what's up? I would, no, I mean, I would, what would, yeah, I would fuck Mrs. Met, right? Like, we'd all, we're all friends here. Look,

I don't, I don't know, is it the padding in the costume, or I just, I think she's got a cute little face. Oh, well, yeah. I wasn't even thinking about that. He's sloppy from Mrs. Met. What about you, Rod?

No, I'm just thinking now, are the Met's mascots furries? Do they count as furries? No, that's not a furry. Their body is completely specific. Are the Mets mascots furries? Do they count as furries? No. No. No, that's not a furry.

Their body is completely... A furry specific, yeah. I mean, he's got guns now. He's just a dude with a baseball for a hat, dude. And Mrs. Met is just a... Babe. Babe. Yeah, she's a babe.

She's a babe. Yeah. And, you know... Can't wait for the Charlie voicemail for this one. It's incredible. What would you do with Mr. Met's penis? You want to talk about Shohei Otani's body double?

All right. So so this is one of the most bizarre things. And I hope we find out more about this as time goes on. So Shohei Otani, greatest player of our generation, the Babe Ruth of our time, whose UCL was destroyed, as we said on the last podcast. Crab meat, yes. Because the Angels are too cheap to pay for an MRI. So they did a team photo,

which why do you take the team photo now? Did you take it at the beginning of the season? But they took a team photo and they had just like a white guy standing in and show you a time and and uh they said that he had he couldn't attend because he was dealing with oblique soreness as you do i can't stand for this photo because my my sides are sore. So they used a body double. They quote, they used someone that very tall in the front office, name not to be discussed. But there's pictures of them in there.

They plan to Photoshop Otani into the picture when it's released. Yeah. Yeah. The manager said Shohei will be in the photo when you see it. What the fuck? But surely we've already seen the photo. Yeah, they're just going to Photoshop his fucking head into it. That's so goddamn weird,

dude. I think he's done. I guarantee you his agent has said, dude, the Angels, it's your reason that you're not pitching right now. So fuck, again,, the Angels, it's your reason that you're not pitching right now. Right. So, fuck. Again, fuck the Angels. And I'm looking forward to Otani making

the leap to the pinstripes. The candy pinstripes. You will be coming to the Phil's. Yeah. I can't wait for it. Him and Juan Soto. The whole team is just left fielders left fielders

at least that means that Kyle Schwarber doesn't have to do it anymore no he's going to be the fucking second baseman Schwarber could actually play catcher in a pinch yeah he actually was a catcher coming up he's not very good in

the major league level but yeah we love our big beefy boys we love our oh god uh that was a good one where uh i i i was i was talking to current about this about uh philly's not uniqueness in it but like how much i i love getting pandered to with the like oh like even if he doesn't win or like like i've said i firmly believe that if harper wins a ring he's the best philly of all time uh although it's actually kyle schwarber if for no other reason than kyle schwarber doesn't really deserve to be on a major league roster uh and i love him anyway he's above average major league hitters statistic using statistics. He produces more

than the average hitter. I just love that this guy is going to be the first in MLB history to finish with a negative and 40 plus home runs. Yeah. You appreciate this, Roz. He's statistically the second best

player in history with a batting average below 200. Hmm. The statistics, the statistics never lie. No, fuck them. No.

So, yeah, I mean, Phillies, it's the home stretch. You know, it's going to be fun. Book it.

Yep. Right. Right. Write it in. It's written into the sign of the blood guy yeah um oh fuck all right in less fun news uh but staying in baseball uh noted piece of shit julio arias a picture of the beat the shit out of his girlfriend or wife again yeah he got arrested um uh this is another one of these cases where it's like

well i think he was on deferred like so like he's gonna get hit with the original charge too right um which was a couple years ago uh so what's it called the deferred prosecution or something like that yes i believe so yeah pretty pretty uh you know sometimes you get these things and it's a little you know there's not a lot of like evidence or anything. Apparently, this is like a super like clear case of domestic abuse. And I hope that he doesn't play, but I don't think these guys should be playing ball. That's what I've always said to Corinne. I believe that everyone deserves a second chance,

but your second chance doesn't have to be in professional baseball. That's exactly how I felt about Mike Vick. I think, well, we've talked about this before, about how Mike Vick has actually turned it around. Turned it around. Yeah. But yeah, Julioaios piece of shit

Fuck alright Ross what on god's green earth are you doing Or is that you That's milkshake scratching the chair That's a sign of That's a thunderstorm coming Cat war Temple football won

Yeah They beat Acron I don't know. Cat War. Temple Football 1. Yeah. 1-0 maybe. They beat Acron. Acron. Yeah. Acron. Should I hit it? Should I hit it?

Yeah, do it. Oh, God. I will fucking run into a machine gun. Yeah. Seriously. Seriously. Oh, shit. Oh, here it goes. run into a machine gun seriously oh shit I actually hit infinite I would run over the fucking trench into no man's land

yeah exactly 100% dude yeah temple one so that's good a crone yeah a crone we're playing Rutgers we are playing Butkers so this is the Liam

Bowl yeah Rutgers is going to win probably not they're not going to get any wins in conference so although the last time these two played each other I believe they had a chance to win Rutgers blew them out like 63-7 is that two seasons ago? yeah because I use that as an example of why The last time these two played each other, I believe, took about a chance to win. Rutgers blew them out like 63-7.

Was that two seasons ago? Yeah. Yeah. Because I use that as an example of why neither school should have a football team. Oh, you should. For the Liam Bowl, you got to get Drexel in there somehow, where you just throw the Drexel football, the improv group. Yeah. Oh, God.

Improv. They just get fucking wiped out instantly. Oh, God. They just get fucking wiped out instantly. Oh, no. I asked if I still have NCAA eligibility. I didn't get an answer. I'm putting pads on. Put me against. I'm taking up the Hassan Redick weak side. And please let me just plow into the Drexel football. Oh, God.

Being an edge rusher does make me very happy. Yeah, like, I'm going to spear an econ nerd. Hold on. Drexel doesn't have that. They teach business, which is like econ. I'm going to horse collar tackle a business major.

Oh, yeah. He's going to be like,'s he's gonna see graphs in front of his eyes not very complicated ones either it's gonna be going down yeah i do believe the temple you want to see some fucking widgets what's a three three-4 defense right now? No, no, it's going to be a one defense. It's just going to be me. It's just going to be you, yeah. I'm covering every gap. I'm a tech infinite.

Also, we need to take a trip to, on my birthday, Friday night game, Temple game uh temple plays smu yes yes 100 i'm i'm there yeah um that yeah i that sounds like so much fun um playing my amp the the u on the 23rd but the u is is trash so all these teams are awful we're fucked but uh yeah no uh butters is gonna win this game handily uh temple barely uh pulled out a uh a three-point win against the university of akron zips uh which is like bottom 10 team i think if you rank them. Yeah. We're putrid, dude. But E.J. Warner. E.J. Warner.

Yeah. Sorry, bud. What are you majoring in? Make sure it's not criminal justice. Well, at least your dad is rich. Yeah, that's true. That's fair enough. Eagles football is back. Football is back. Football.

Football. Eagles are is back. Football is back. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Eagles are going to shit all over Bill Belichick's house and kill him. Yeah. 16-0. 17-0 season. We're going to run a 6-2 All right.

Help me with the addition. 6-2-3. Fucking defense against the Notre Dame box that they're going to be running. Yeah. all right, help me with the addition. 6-2-3. 6-2-3. Fucking defense against the Notre Dame box that they're going to be running. Yeah. You guys like T-Wing? Oh, my God. Shovel.

Shovel option for days. Predictions for the season. Oh, yeah. 12-5 win the division is mine. What is it. 12-5 win the division is mine. What is it? 12-5 win the division. I think there's going to be a little bit of a regression. I'm going to say 11-6.

Roz? I think prediction for the season is I think that – They're both going to have fun. Yeah. No, I think neither of them have fun I think actually everyone's going to be miserable no I think what's going to happen during this season

is that one of the stadiums will be hit by a meteor during a game and it's going to fuck up the season really badly that's what I think is going to happen Rod's from God right on top of Dak Prescott. Yeah, exactly.

Did you read the thing I tweeted today about the fucking Navy SEALs? Jesus Christ. All right, fellas, this is when you're going to the strip club and you kill somebody, this is how you hide the bodies. That's what the Navy SEALs are good at. Yeah. I mean, you got to know

that stuff for when you inevitably do something really shitty in Korea, which I hope they're teaching the football players, too. Oh, my God. I fucking hate the Cowboys. Me, too, dude. Yeah. No, that's who I think gets hit by the media. Where does this unheard arrogance come from?

I think they get smited by God. What can hope, man? I think there's going to be the American set of Ancestors movement is really going to take off. Right? And that's when the Cowboys are finally smited when they break off from the Mother Church. What's the fucking name of the new stadium?

I always forget its name. Cherry World? Yeah, where they play. They're going to elect a new Sedevacantus Pope. Yeah, almost certainly. That's the place to do it. Jerry World? Jerry World.

AT&T Stadium. Okay. When the white smoke comes out of the AT&T Stadium, that's when you know. A white smoke because they instantly get hit by a meteor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's not a

carboniferous asteroid. It's an iron nickel. Yes. So the smoke is pretty clean coming off of that. It's just steam. Yeah. Oh, my God, that would be great. I'd love that. It's just steam. Yeah. Oh, my God. That would be great. I'd love that.

It hopefully hits Jerry Jones's office. Yes. Right. Like a fucking nuke going off, honestly. That fucking son of a bitch will somehow survive. Yeah, like Hitler surviving the bombing attempt. Yeah. Yeah.

It happens when you have a very long office. Do you think he has a very long office? Yes. Yes. He does. I can basically Yes. He does. I can basically promise you he does. You walk in the room and he's like 50 feet away from you at the end of like a

50 feet. How long was Hitler's office? Hitler's office was really long. You had to walk a long way to get to his desk. Hitler's office. I mean, not in the Fuhrer's bunker. Was it that long? Not in the Fuhrer's bunker. Was it that long?

Not in the Fuhrer bunker, but in his regular building. Okay, well, he's dead. Really? I didn't even know he was sick. Thank you. He's still alive. He's still alive. He's like 150. Jesus.

And he owns the Dallas Cowboys. You ever see Jerry Jones and Hitler at the same place at the same time? No, you haven't. Hey, hey. Both have been cited at racist rallies separately, though. There you go, yeah. Both have been cited at racist rallies separately, though. There you go. Yeah. Oh, my God. We need 17 more minutes.

How are we going to get 17 more minutes? We need 17 more minutes. We got to hit it. We got to hit 50. Please, no. We got to. I can't do a 40-minute one again. Yes, you can. What? Why not? The fans have expectations. Yes, you can. What? Why not? The fans have. So Hitler.

Yeah. You don't have anything else. And I'm hungry. We got listener messages in Charlie's Junior Report. And then I got to thank the patrons. Yeah. Do it. Listen, I'm hungry, too, dude.

I, too, am hungry. I'm going to get yelled at.. I'm going to get yelled at. We're all going to get yelled at. Raj? We can yell at him, I guess. We can yell at Liam. Yeah. Goddammit, Liam.

You did something I'm unhappy about. I'm not sure what it was. I will just drop off. I can do that. I'm not sure what it was. I will just drop off. I can do that. Do you know what this fucking the next 20 minutes would be without you? It's going to be like

a fucking weird French fucking absurdist skit. The shit that Roz and I are going to say to each other. It's going to be me doing Trump voice for 20 minutes and him laughing. Sort of waiting for Godot type situation. that Roz and I are going to say to each other. It's going to be me doing Trump voice for 20 minutes and him laughing. That actually is pretty good. Sort of waiting for Godot type situation. Well, there's your problem.

It's a bad guess. It's very good. The fans get mad when we're short. Yeah. Really? Who? Yeah. Bring me their names.

Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying. 99% of the podcast listeners. Who doesn't like 40 minutes is still a long time. 1% of all podcasts account for 90% of the hours of podcasts. My brain is fucking very good. Vote for me, Bernie Sanders. BernieSanders.com. We are going to bring the Dodgers back to Brooklyn.

We're going to bring the Dodgers back to Brooklyn. We are going to take the two-hour revolutionary left radio and we're going to distribute those hours to other podcasts such as 10,000 Losses. Fuck, he's going to come after Will. That was your problem.

No, no, no, no. I am coming after the Titanic episode. No, I's going to come after Will. That was your problem. No, no, no. The Titanic episode. I started turning to Trump. The Titanic episode, it was very informative, but the runtime was a little excessive. Shut up. You're telling me. I dropped off that show

at the four hour mark because if I recall you did. And I was just like,inne was just like okay are you done i was just like no we just have to leave like no offense to kyle but the titanic is not that interesting the titanic folks the tit. Listen, I don't understand. I prefer the boats that didn't sink. I'm urging my Trump and Bernie's there. You know, they built a bigger one next year.

Yeah. They built a bigger one. It was much better. It was much better. And it didn't sink. Did you know this? It didn't sink. It's still sitting in Philadelphia.

It was a very fast boat. Very big boat. Very fast. You can't count how fast it went. it's just sitting in philadelphia it was very fast boat very big boat very fast you can't count how fast it went i'm so mad like unbelievably we got three minutes out of that that's what i'm saying i will soldier bravely on. All right.

You know what? God damn it. They would die today or something like, you know, when you're normal again. Jimmy Buffett. Yeah. Jimmy Buffett died. Yeah. When you're normal again, you want to talk about, I don't know, like, is Nick Sirianni worth a shit without his coordinators I guess

this year's gonna be kind of the test for that I think he probably will be just cause Gannon was like good but then so putrid when it mattered I don't and his Frank Reich

is down in North Carolina now Yeah No wait isn't No he wasn't a coordinator he was Peterson's coordinator Shane It's like Shane Sticken or something that was a coordinator Yeah yeah yeah yeah

I was looking For some reason I was looking up that shit the other day Oh yeah he's the coach for the Colts Frank Reich is No Shane Shane Sticken is For some reason, I was looking up that shit the other day. Oh, yeah. He's the coach for the Colts. Frank Reich is. No, Shane Steichen is now the coach of the Colts. And Frank Reich is now the coach of the Panthers. I fucking hate this coaching carousel bullshit. I know, dude.

It's impossible. And Peters is the coach of the... It's a mess. The Jags, right? Yeah. Oh, my God. That's insane. I mean, I knew that he was good, but it's like the –

there's like – they have like eight coaches for the entire – They all just sort of shuffle around. Yeah, they just got to get new ones. They go back to college, they come back up. Oh, I didn't know that. Can you explain that? Frank Reich is from Lebanon, Pennsylvania. He went to Cedar Crest.

I know where that high school is. Do you think they called him Frank Forthright? I hope not. Frankie Forthright. That would be shitty. That's all Pennsylvania Dutch country. Anyway.

If we're bringing back the fucking Howland Zollerns in Pennsylvania Dutch country. Thank you. Now we're moving the shit along. There we go. learns in Pennsylvania Dutch country. Thank you. Now we're moving this shit along. There we go. I'm censoring you. Listener messages.

First one from Metric Mike. Hello Tom and yay Liam. Hockey season lets in a month away. Your NHL picks. Who's winning? Who's losing? I know it's the Columbus Blue Jackets but humor me. And who on the flyers is a dirtbag this year that we all hate? Hope all is well. Fuck OSU. Fuck the Capitals. And fuck SAP, you pricks.

But to say, they do software and analytics and shit. Are they a sponsor? They're like out in King of, not a King of Prussia, they're out in Newtown Square. Yeah. I could drive over there and knock on their door.

We could fuck them up, yeah. We're socialists. We only support other people. We actually would take sponsorships, though. We've been very clear on that. Oh, yeah. What's that brewery that only does that cheap lager? Oh, Kenny? Yeah. Kenny

Wood Brewery. Come on. I'll do it for beer No Honestly I haven't had their beer I don't know if it's any good I haven't had it either I like

Only one way to find out Sure Boofing it up the ass Yeah Why not? Is there any other way to boof it? Boof it into your mouth Let's just it? Boof it into your mouth. That's just called drinking.

Boof it into your mouth. Boof it into your ear. Guys, have you heard about nasal chugging? It's really like... Oh, yeah. I used to do cocaine. Oh, yeah, yeah. Boof it into your dick.

The flyers are going to be... Oh, I love the sound of it. The sound of it. That's like a Stavros question. Like, if I had beer coming out of my dick, would you drink it? Oh, the beer's going in your dick. Well, it's going to come out eventually.

That's a good point. That's a good point. You two are fucking repulsing. If you're an impressionable college student listening to this podcast, please do not try this. No, do not do this at home. All right. They're calling it penis pilsnering. The disturbing new trend

we just got it hey they're calling it Tom we just got it we just got our first sponsorship email oh shit really well yeah I guess yeah it's from it's from manscaped oh

wow do we want to do they just invent a dick boofing catheter I guess. Yeah, it's from Manscaped. Oh! Wow. They just invent a dick boofing catheter. God. The working people, when they need to boof beer off the urethra. Oh! Fuck y'all flyers are gonna be trash

Bruins are taking a step back let's answer Mike's question Leafs are probably going to be good. Bruins are taking a big step back. I would say when Liam was reading it, I could see Roz highlight the text so he could search

what these teams were. Hold on, I got one more before we completely move on, which is beer is stored in the balls. I think the senators will be pretty good. Fellas, are you tired of your ball storage being hairy? Introducing the Manscaped

Mulcher. Hey, do you want these sponsorship dollars or not, Tom? How much are they offering? We have to talk to them first, Tom. What do you guys think? Call in 267-371-7218. That's the natural evolution of Manscaped. It's like more

violent ways to trim the various hairs in your genital. They're going to come out with a tiny hedge trimmer, you know, just a weed whacker, just a weed whacker. Yeah.

You know, many riding mower for your bowls. You got to push mower for your balls. I can't wait to not get that sponsorship dollar. This is either going to be the favorite episode or the one that just destroys all listener

retention. Ugh. What's the manliest job? Lumberjack. So here's a bunch of tiny lumberjacks to cut down the hairs on your balls. Nano machines. Yeah.

Graku your ball hair off. Yeah. Claire cutting. Slash and burn agriculture. Are the fins behind manscaping too? Jesus Christ. Liam, do we answer Mike's question? I feel bad for Mike.

I did. I did. You didn't. I did. Who's the guy on the flyers we're going to hate? All of them, dude. They're all fucking scumbags, although most of them are gone now. Yeah, because what was it?

Provacab or whatever? Yeah, he's gone. He got released. I don't know. I assume that Scott Frost or Morgan? Yeah, he's gone. He got released. I don't know. I assume that Scott Frost or Morgan Frost is going to be trash. Let's see. I don't even know who's on this team at this point. They're all bastards.

All right. Yeah. So I'll guess all of them until we find out. I guess. What's his name? The goaltender who's probably a sex offender. Oh, yeah. Carter Hart's a sex offender. Oh, yeah. Carter Hart's a sex offender.

Mark Stahl is a big piece of shit. Yeah, he sucks. There we go. Yeah, yeah. He's a defenseman now. I hope the Flyers lose every fucking game. Yeah. We will be continuing our tradition of not talking about the Flyers.

Yeah. So, patron Mike caught up on the last podcast or two podcasts ago from this one where I said, did I imagine this weird proto-cumtown on the Brewing Network? And Roz, I don't know. Did you ever listen to the Brewing Network? I never listened to the Brewing Network, but it sounds interesting. Heyday was about 15 years ago. But yeah. Okay. They had an episode. They had like a Preston Steve like kind of morning zoo crew thing. And then they had a proto-cumtown called Lunch Meat. The brew crew it would be, I would hope. No, the session. Oh.

Yeah. Wow. What's the brewery that has the make America juicy again that's one of those guys Heretic, although Jameel got I don't know why he got forced out of his own brewery I don't know what the fuck he did alright, so Patreon Mike says

just got up on the app, I'm gonna fuck up your car Ken, I'm a professional brewer of 10 plus years and listened to Brewing Network when I was a home brewer slash baby brewer, but I fully remember lunch meet, to top that off, I met the session crew at HomebrewCon and Justin was a total creep hitting on my girlfriend at the same time. So you're not crazy in that specific way. Cheers, man.

Thanks for the content. So Justin, do you have any... I apologize for that. On behalf of all Justins. Yeah. Oh. Um. All right. We got Charlie's.

We got a union report because I think the Charlies had to win. The union had to win. The Charlies. No, they're the Charlies now. They're the Charlies now. The fighting Charlies. Oh, fuck. Hell yeah.

You thought the IRA was tough. All right. Hey, guys. Charlie from Roxborough. Hey, Tom. Hey, Liam. Hey, him. Back at the River End, the Union didn't take all three points against North Jersey.

Gave up the first goal but scored the next four unanswered. Lesley Speranza, low. And God's not getting the last one going into the international break uh up in the top three again uh but the next game's gonna be home to Cincinnati after the international break

but I'll be there Tuesday September 12th at Franklin Music Hall well there's your problem Antifada Podcast and Minion Death Hole all gonna be there I don't know if tickets are still available

I don't know when this is gonna come out a week later but there's your problem live show at the Franklin Music Hall later folks okay okay live show at the franklin music hall later fellas oh wow thanks charlie appreciate that hey the fucking episode

coming out next the fucking only took a week all right uh he calls from the fucking union like the game's over and he's standing there and just um uh but shouts out to charlie uh yeah The game's over and he's standing there. Shouts out to Charlie.

Yeah, he was talking about Carranza. I think there's some rumors that they might be selling him to some European teams. What a creepy sentence. I know, right? It's the nature of soccer slash football. But yeah, the Union are fourth in the East. Definitely not. But they do the formula where I guess it's points.

Yes. They're not that far behind. I don't know. They could easily become number two before the end of the season. I don't know if they're catching up to Cincinnati. Shit. All right. There's no baseball tonight. Shit. Alright. Oh, there's no

baseball tonight? Shit. Nope. That fucking... I don't like that. We didn't have a game to have in the background. I know. It's been terrible. Yeah. Let's see. Oh, we're almost at 50 minutes.

So, I want to do shoutouts to our North Catholic Tier Pag patrons, of which we have a new one. Yay. So, shouts out to Patrick, Sean, Mike, Amanda, Steve, and Kyle. And new patron, I don't know if it's Kojo or Koho. Thank you. If I mispronounce that, you can message us. Well, you pronounce it the two different ways you could do it.

Yeah. Yeah. So, there's not – unless there's like a coyote coyote yeah okay that's the third one so we're covered um coy joe you'd also i don't like that no i don't like that either um so voicemail 267-371-7218. Give us your name and pronouns. Shit. Tell us what kind of nanomachine would you use to trim your balls? Would you? Yeah, exactly.

What kind of beer would you dick booth? If you could have your balls replaced with kegs, would you do it? Yeah. Yeah. I'd love to have a 95 degree Fahrenheit Pilsner. Yes. I think I'm an Irish style guy. I gotta have a nitro set up. Can't wait for it to settle.

Gotta do whippets to keep the... Keep the nitro topped up. Yeah. Have a popped up. Yeah. Have a K scale. Yeah. It goes sour after four days. Oh, God. Oh, DM us, follow us.

I'm at Take a T-Pain. Liam's at Not Liam, and he's with Zero Cozy Sleep. You're Who Shot JGR. We're at 10K Losses Pod, patreon.com slash 10 000 losses to listen to the much more organized uh understandable less punchy uh bonus episode recorded before this other podcasts well there's what there's a problem uh trash future um what else we got uh uh hell of a way

uh liam no that's it help help i'm sending a very hostile email sorry tipping pitches are you sending it to me no no no are you sending it to manscaped no neither are you sending it i'll tell you who off air. I'll tell you who off air. All right. Yeah, listen to the other podcast in the Nate Bethea Extended Universe. Oh, which I got to tell you, I think there's a connection there from my family. Anyway. All right.

Bye. Bye. Say bye, Ross. Bye, everyone. We're from Philly, fucking Philly. No one likes us. We don't care. No one Philly. No one likes us, we don't care.