Ten Thousand Losses - DraftF*cks - Super Bowl Edition

Episode Date: February 11, 2023

Just in time for the Big Game, DraftF*cks brings you the hottest moneylines, parlays, money bets, odds, and gamifying of crippling addictive behaviors caused by the material conditions of the imperial stage of capitalism AND is your new sponsor of Ten Thousand Losses! Tom & Liam talk about the Super Bowl and then answer a backlog of listener questions. Fuck the chop, go birds! Follow us on Twitter: https://twitter.com/tenklossespod  Leave us a voicemail (leave your name and pronouns): 267-371-7218 Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/tenthousandlosses   

He is actually going to eject a fan. Because bad things happen in Philadelphia, bad things. The fan jumped into the penalty box area. Joy it is to come to Philadelphia and stand here and dodge an ice ball. We, the Dallas Cowboys, had a sense of John Cooney. And we're live. We're live. Yeah.

We're very alive. Very excited because something really cool's happening soon um in fact within only a few days you're excited for it pitchers and catchers report to spring training oh the eagles are going to super bowl too. That's pretty cool. I guess that's cool. Yeah. So, yeah, welcome to your official pre-Super Bowl. We're going to have all the hottest money line stats from all your favorite sports bets. Yeah, all the prop bets. Your prop bets, your pluses and minuses, your ups and downs. Things we understand.

Your parlays. Especially your parlays, actually. Your blackjacks. Your aces high. Brought to you by DraftFox. DraftFox. DraftFox Sportsbook. Because if you lose...

If you lose in... You're fucked. We extend you a line of credit no matter how many states you've been barred from having checking accounts in no matter how many credit unions you've scammed you can bet with sports

fucks the scoviest sports sports betting people you ever did say yeah yeah which is which is like yeah least actually least um fucking exploitative yeah the least problematic sports book sports books at least we're honest yeah we we don't we don't make any apologies for who we are as people. We are scumbags through and through. Yeah.

Yeah. But, you know, we might be – I might be a Kenzo, and you may be a North Florida scumbag to be. But at least we're not screwing workers. Good for us. Yeah, like Temple University, my alma mater, one that you had attended. Yeah, absolutely fucking embarrassing. So the Temple grad student union is on strike demanding fair wage.

They are abused as near serfs, forced to grade papers and do all this shit for, you know, I don't know. Eight dollars. do all this shit for you know eight dollars for for daniel chomsky uh the lesser of the chomskys who gave me who gave me an f on a paper no a d minus on a paper because i was a libertarian at the time did you deserve it yeah yeah oh yeah i did um yeah so but yeah support the the temple grad student union yeah when when twitter is working again like you know tag temple and tell them how upset you are with them like just fucking that school let them know whatever whatever it is um instagram whatever just make it loud because there's probably like six people who are on the side of the fucking uh university so all disgusting so yeah they're all disgusting

they're cops or worse university administration oh yeah that's that's you know it's just as fucking it's this is a it's a city school we're in a union town right exactly and it's just trying to trying to pull this stunt is absolutely fucking despicable yeah your fucking cops got a dumbass union uh fucking the grad students who actually do stuff do work it's it's crazy if only someone had a theory about how the most work is done by the people who get paid the least yeah fuck that guy though yeah who marks yeah he's a pretty cool man yeah no i just wanted to upset you okay i wasn't sure if that was a bit or not so yeah it was i just i really like annoying you yeah that's true that's that's what you my wife get along. Alright.

She's a good lady, Tom. Yeah, I know. That's why I married her. So yeah, support the Temple Grad Student Union. My wife also a Temple graduate. So I'm flipping off the diploma on the wall right now. Just the Temple University part, not my wife's name part.

That's fucking funny. I like that you're doing that yeah fucking like come on yeah nah um but uh i shouts out to the fake boston market in the student center yeah it is the same as boston market but it's not it's what are you gonna do you know yeah all right i get ate so much fucking just rotisserie chicken all right hello welcome to another episode of 10 000 losses the only philadelphia sports podcast that exists i'm your host tom payne my pronouns are he him with who's my co-host yay liam liam anderson hello hello what are your pronouns he and him thanks uh so announce and oh yeah announces we're we're all alive i'm alive

uh appreciate everyone being chill on patreon because you haven't gotten like your bonus yeah thanks for not being dick holes to us yeah no i appreciate that we couldn't handle that not this week yeah like you know i it was it was literally me canceling two weeks in a row i just have had a lot of personal shits Besides the usual end of the market period nonsense. And it's... Yeah, I appreciate the support. I have Catholic guilt up the ass about... I know you do.

Yeah. So... Literally, because... Jesus. Jesus. Five minutes. Come on, man. Five minutes, 45 seconds.

I have to review that one. Oh. God damn it, dude. I think I have to. Do I have to cut that one? You do have to cut that one. All right. I have to cut that one.

All right. Sorry. All right. I'll just bleep it. It was funny. You're a monster. it. It was funny. You're a monster. Yeah. It was funny.

Yeah. Oh, man. So give us a voicemail. Tell us what you think that joke was about. 2-6-7-3-7-1-7-2-1-8. Yeah, then you can figure it out. I just don't think it's that hard. I think the people.

Yeah. Yeah. Google had Pope Benedict's dead. Fucking piece of shit. All right. For unrelated reasons. That's funny. Did I say the voicemail already?

Voicemail call on 267-371-7218. We're getting it again. And then patreon.com slash 10,000 losses. All right. I already did that joke the coming spring training thing all right so uh i just i just want to yeah i don't want i don't know where i was going with that all right so uh birds they're in the super bowl they done and gone they they did it. Yeah. They're doing media days, and it's not going well.

I'm just here so I don't get fined. Well, they asked Sirianni if there were any players in the Eagles. He wouldn't let his daughter date, and he said, my daughter is five. Yeah. And also, we have a guy who's got arrested for rape yeah yeah sexual assault fucking rules yeah that's how the xeriani is visibly like a college kid still like he's pretty fucking young what is he like my age like yeah uh it's it's embarrassing man yeah that it's so fucked up like come on man

and i i could see that being a funny question but come on man like do your research first like if you exactly like if you're if your kid was like you know that would be funny if the kid was already married to an eagles player that would be funny yeah um but it wasn't funny it was just gross yeah oh yeah there's some responses that i think he asked thinking about that you know i don't i just i don't know whatever i don't want to move away from that all right uh yeah um yeah so so we have we have the cerebral media day all that cool shit um i don't really have a problem with the chiefs i don't i don't like that they do the job obviously that's a big job it's fucking gross um i don't like tyree kill i don't oh he's on the dolphins now oh yeah shit i should have known that because i watched the game it was like where's tyree kill that shows you how like in in the baseball i've been last last year yeah yeah so thank you uh so

i i but otherwise i don't really have a big deal i mean it's it's it's i you know there's no like hatred it's actually i think actually this game is going to feature a lot less like Philly fan directed hatred towards the Chiefs. You're going to get the standard. Fuck you. But I mean, Andy Reid, you know, it's the Kelsey's. I don't think. Yeah, there's no like big rivalry between. It feels like they're a legitimate team.

And they are. They did get here. Like I get hating like Patrick Mahomes, his brother. But they like they played a here like i get hating like patrick mahomes's brother but they like they played a legit like the afc was legitimate this year like they played through it like the the only thing that i i mean i normally i i have no real opinion of patrick mahomes but like i mean he's obviously a good quarterback um seems like he's a fun guy but he's a he's a baseball owner did you know that yeah i didn't know that yeah so i automatically hate him for that because i hate understandable understandable

and you're right to do so yeah so but yeah i i i no real big matchup kind of the there's no hatred there no hatred you know i don't want them to win, but I don't hate them. Yeah. And there's only a very slight margin difference between our teams. We're both very clearly the best teams in our respective conferences. Yeah. And I think it's a good match. I mean, the Eagles are only behind.

But this is your SportsFelix money line by one and a half. So the odds are very... Basically even, yeah. So I think... Well, speaking of the fans that we were talking about earlier, the Nick Boza... Oh, that almost fight? Yeah. No, um, the Nick Bosa, uh, that almost fight. Yeah.

No, Nick's the one on the 49ers, right? Yeah. Joey is the one on, uh, chargers. Yeah.

So, so basically, uh, Joey Bosa got fucking heckled by a bunch of, uh, guys from Delco outside of the Lincoln Financial Field during the NFC Championship game against the 49ers. I have 30 seconds of the audio I want to play,

but I do want to tie this into my Tom Payne theory of Philadelphia enculturation, which is that when we trash talk, that there is a promise of threat threat the use of force behind those words right whereas most other fandoms don't have it and i don't the 49ers definitely don't have it no yeah buffalo bills oakland raider well back when they were oakland raiders now that they don't have their same fan base yeah definitely but cleveland browns maybe ish i mean they're goofy but they're not like as violent but

they're serious like yeah they're serious um patriots fans gonna get like that um especially like the boston guys not the you know suburban but uh so joey bose is getting heckled by these guys and every single one of them i promise you would would have fought Joey Bozo if he started throwing punches. Yeah. Like, he would have got jumped on by, like, 15 guys. Now, he probably would have killed four or five of them.

Yes, he would have. Yes, he would have. Let's all be honest. The Bozo brothers, they're Trump-loving fucks. I hate them, but they are strong dudes, and they are physical,

like, very gifted physically. So, yeah, they would be fucked up, but all those guys were willing to fight. So I don't think we'll be seeing that. I think that this clip is going to be the best that we get of Philadelphia Eagles fans during this run. So I'm going to play this for those of you who haven't heard it. The Nick, the Nick Bosa or Joey Bosa altercation. When did the Chargers play this week? Are you Snapchatting your own buddies?

No, I'm just videoing you. The guy who's not playing today. Bosa! Bosa! Bosa! Bosa! Get the Doppler effect. Posa!

Posa! So can I! Me too! Me too! Overage 2! I just look and love that. Fuck you! Posa! Posa!

A bunch of fucking sheet metal workers and plumbers, and IBEW guys. Dude, like, you lost. You lost. If you're like this rich guy, you are rich, and you're just losing your shit. It's a bunch of fucking union guys. Yeah, just union guys who've been drinking since last night. They have. I was at the NFC Championship.

I can confirm. Yeah, we saw you hanging out the Lucy's, the Lucy tray that you had. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was me. That was me. But yeah, dude, I just love. Bosa. Because that's such a great word, a name for philly fans to chant because you got it's not bosa it's boo we're getting that real deep dip thong in there absolutely the funniest shit in

the world that is just so good that's just such it's so like emblematic of what Philly is as a town with just like, yeah, I'll like, I see a, a very large man who plays this sport and is very good at it. One of the best in his position. And you know what I'm going to fucking do? I'm going to try and get him to fight me. I really am. There is no fear in those eyes.

That man has been drug for like 18 straight hours. And he wouldn't have had fear sober either. That's it's this. If I want to take the video and I want to like put it in a time capsule so that someone in the future can understand Philadelphia in that one clip. One clip. Absolutely. Because it's it's this. You can't shit talk back oh you're a little of

course it goes to homophobic joke you know like first thing but like um it just immediately yeah we are like you know like i'll bridge too like it's just there's you can't too yeah well tickets are not cheap to that game yeah i'm that's true it's like i'm not you know you're this guy you're like yeah no i'm i'm not intimidated by you you can't debate me because i'm just gonna say your name i'm undebatable yeah like pure agent of chaos yes your teammate yeah who's playing today why the chargers in playoffs like why aren't the chargers playing today is such a perfect like it just dick move beautiful like such a like such a philly like you know just absolutely both middle fingers up like just able to find the crack in the armor within five seconds right you've just

diagnosed your weakness immediately i was uh it was really funny because I, this is kind of unrelated, but yeah, I can't remember his name now. He used to be quarterback at Pitt. Before that he was at USC. It's like Culver's. It's a weird name.

And he's transferring to BY, or like Keldon, Keaton Slovis, Keldon Slovis. He's transferring to BYU after saying like he hated playing there, but it was really funny. Cause he was like, they are the meanest fans on the planet because they don't curse like everything they're saying to you is like just a bunch of like old white dudes from utah being like you're throwing arms not very good pal like real hateful shit but like wrapped up in

mormon like you don't want to talk about like mormon niceness yes yeah yeah there is a skill to saying derogatory things without being vulgar like it makes it it's more difficult i'm not good at it i go quick for vulgarity oh yeah yeah i mean that's that's the true spirit i mean that's the spirit of this podcast quick to tagline quick to vulgarity yeah um you know that but there's definitely you know like i'm not mad i'm disappointed like i'm disappointed you son just imagine someone yelling that at you yeah yeah i like i don't like that like do you like that no no because like that doesn't feel good you know what i mean like that that that hurt like it hurts you on a personal level yeah and like and i'm not talking about like obvious things like race race or class or like gender but like yeah if someone like looked and like i you know i'm like a big dude and like jokes about my weight don't really bother me but if someone were like you

didn't go to a good enough school in undergrad and you've been pretending your entire life like i would i would be a hurt beyond compare i would be like i don't want to be around you anymore simply because i don't like these truths about me as a person this is what my mother is really good at is like seeing into your soul like philly taunts are directly at your soul like like i'm just thinking of like a t a kids kids have called me, like, fucking asshole, dumbass, like, all this shit. Like, I've been cursed out by kids before. None of them hurt me. But one time I had a kid say, do you just, like, lesson plan, like, five minutes before class starts?

Is that why you're always printing things? And I was like, goddamn, fuck you. Shit. Yes, I am. Fuck you. What's it to you, asshole? How much do you make a year fuck you somehow it's probably more than me yeah yeah and you know what it's it's you know philly kid you say that i'll make more than you yeah they don't care yeah yeah they don't get you do not engage in a pissing match with a student. Definitely not if they're from Philly.

You're going to lose. Yeah, you'll lose. They will make up new insults. Yeah. Weird shit you've never heard before in your life. This wasn't a student, but I had stopped a mugging just by my presence. Right. And I was in my bleep uniform at the time and

a bunch of guys like the guy was like yo motherfucker fake ass cracker cop fake ass cracker cop what are you gonna do i was just like what like dude just like give her a purse back like i'm fuck i'm not gonna do shit just give her a purse back don't be an asshole but like fake ass cracker cop is stuck in my head like like the order the order of like you know like it wasn't cop crackers cracker cop fake ass cracker cop doesn't feel good i can tell you that no no it's like dude no i'm like turned the corner and you're stealing this woman's bag like did give it back to her like the dude did give it like he actually did give it back to her and uh that was nice um anyway so yeah we were talking about sports yeah i uh i went to the nsu championship yeah so how how uh so let me relay this to you yes yes i'm i'm i'm listening tom so i started drinking at 9 a.m yeah yeah okay i should get started late

i'm not gonna reveal what i paid for the tickets all i could say is thank you well there's your problem patrons that ten dollars a month adds up yeah yeah uh i i uh corinne's dad bought five tickets, which is an insane number of tickets. I don't want to know. That's a lot. Many, many. That's the number. It's just many.

That's a couple months of my pay. Yeah, it is. That's, you know. But anyway, so I go to the NFC Championship, and it's a lot of fun uh but i want to be specific there's a there's an nfc there's a niners fan in front of us so i made friends with the people who were next to me uh older woman and her husband they were cool uh you know we're all in good spirits. Like we're all feeling good. Hassan Reddick gets that hit.

Yeah. Uh, and he just starts talking so much shit. Like as, as his quarterback is, he's, he's dead essentially. And I was like,

listen, like I get you want to defend yourself, but like you're in fucking Philly. Yeah. You are in fucking Philly. Like. You are in fucking Philly. Like have some sense of self-preservation. My God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he left in like the third quarter and I was like, where are you going, dude? Like, what are you, where are you going? Why are you headed out? You don't want to see this obviously competitive game. Yeah. Well, I mean. I mean. going why you headed out you don't want to see this obviously competitive game yeah well i mean i mean we didn't we didn't talk about the nfc divisional round but that was also a very non-competitive game right so i under i would be mad too if i spent however many grand on that

ticket and then watch my team get waxed immediately immediately get waxed so i mean i i don't i'll blame him it was just like you're talking a lot of shit my guy talking a lot of shit for a team that's losing yeah i i i you know i i so i am a b see bruins flyers um and i will usually wear bruins stuff bruins merch because that is my hockey team and like yeah you get into it with flyers fans but like flyers fans like the flyers haven't won a cup since the ford administration yeah you can point that out to them it's like when was the last time you won a cup like when was the last time you were in the stanley cup finals the last time you were the stanley cup finals you lost in six to the to the hawks yeah uh fuck the flyers well that's but i did i was at a game once it was a flyers bruins game and corinne quotes this back to me all the

time i uh the bruins were up three nothing and i was talking my shit and then it's three one and then it's three two and i said to corinne man they better win because i've been talking a lot of shit bruins lose four three oh yep yep that's what i that's what I deserved. Yeah. Yeah, it happens. I, I, I genuinely try not to, to trash talk too much because I have to report if I get arrested. So, um, yeah, I don't, I don't at this point in my life do it too often. Like, you know, I, I, I basically have, have sort of internalized the point that I'm willing to talk shit only if I'm

willing to also get hit. Right. I'm like, I'm not as willing to like get in a fight as I used to be, which I guess is growing up. Yeah, that's true. It is.

So it's not necessarily worth catching charges to defend your, your team's honor. I mean, if you think about it like objectively, it's kind of silly, but I mean, unless someone's being an asshole, they kid or something like that. Yeah. If someone, if you think about it objectively, it's kind of silly. But, I mean, unless someone's being an asshole to a kid or something like that. Yeah, if someone's picking on a child,

you can do it. You can cast charges for that too, and walk your way to jail morally in the right. Yeah. Yeah. So, I know there was

vomit in your section, too. Yeah, some guy threw up on Corinne. Yeah, that's gross. It was gross, honestly. I mean, we used to have the, you know, he threw up on the band who threw up on the girl, you like, at the Phillies game? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Did it, like, intentionally or whatever? Yeah, yeah yeah he intentionally that dude died too apparently oh no yeah i figured what it was but it was not like a good way to die yeah there's a there's a lot of bad ones i will say that yeah uh yeah were you out in the streets after the yes i was yes yeah yeah how many poles did you climb none have you seen me oh you're strong upper upper body not that strong my guy uh i mean i wouldn't do it either uh my students are asking me like yeah would you do that fucking way no have you seen me like yeah it's like i might say that's a lot i mean i can't do

a chin-up i could do i could do lab pull-down mean i can't do a chin-up i could do i could do lat pull-downs i can't do a chin-up yeah i'm not upper body lower body strength and arm strength yeah if this if i was walking up an inclined plane that was yeah if i was if i was climbing to the to the pole yes then no problem but this is walking for like hours like a spiral staircase to the pole yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm going for gold but uh I can go faster

uphill than all the other guys ah yeah bet you feel foolish now don't you yeah we on the Italy trip we went to Ciccaterra and one of the towns has like this like you gotta climb up the resus the on the italy trip we went to chiquiterra one of the one of the towns that's like this like uh you gotta climb up the hill from the train station and i forget how many

steps it was a fucking lot but i was like there was a a family that had they were from houston they had astros gear and i was like we are not coming in second to them they were your wife is just like i'm gonna fucking kill myself yeah yeah uh so we but we we did it we beat them we were like uh oh yeah dude fourth from the top but they were not any higher than i yeah fuck that and then my acl my acl was crying for mercy holy shit um yeah so uh uh but you know talking about this fan shit that we've been talking about you are allowed to go beat up uh their fans if they do the job you know so you can do that you're legally allowed to punch a chiefs fan if they do the job oh is that sorry i got my i know i got my server fixed i've been working on it all goddamn day and it just got fixed i'm so happy right now i could poop my pants what's the newest coin you're

minting oh i'm not minting any coins man i'm i'm illegally hosting uh pirated content you know that oh yeah i still have to check that out i completely forget yeah um all right uh my cpu usage is 100 that means it's working yeah i'm streaming everything at once in 4k uh uh yeah so punch punch a cheese fan legal legal advice you are allowed to punch a cheese fan yeah you are you are yeah all righty uh so i figure unless there's something oh we did did we talk about lebron uh i don't think so yeah so uh why don't you leave with that because you're up more up to speed yeah lebron james last night in a loss to the oklahoma city thunder past kareem abdul-jabbar's all-time nba points record

which is very cool yeah uh i don't really have that much to say positively about lebron the guy but uh absolutely that's fucking sick i didn't think that record was ever going to be broken um i i will say i don't really see much point in the uh the sort of greatest debate that you know who's the greatest debate but i i don't think it's reasonable to say it's not lebron oh yeah uh it's you know i mean fuck you don't have to there's like anti-lebron you know stuff and so you know there's plenty is valid too but like you can't hate the guy i mean no he's for the for the no yeah yeah it's it's just like tom brady's the goat quarterback i fucking hate the dude did you like my take this morning which one was that uh that if anything brady is actually underappreciated i did i did

like that yeah uh i don't know if he's underappreciated but i do think that it is a fucking dynasty that they achieved and that's very very tough to do especially in football yeah yeah especially football you know it turns out all it takes is a white quarterback on all white row receivers yeah uh yeah um that that's that's a joke guys all right um yeah so uh congrats lebron uh now stop having charter schools okay um yeah uh or let them unionize and then not have any funding from the school district um all right did you want to yeah did you want to cut to the mailbag yeah let's do it yeah we have a shitload so yeah let's see here yeah and we didn't do any in the last episode because we ran so long talking about Dana White's

an asshole. Guy sucks. Yeah. Yeah. And we're going to have Patrick back, I think, in two weeks to finish working on a bonus on the whole MMA thing. Yeah. All right.

So I shouldn't tap things that will come up in the audio. All right. We hang on one second. Let me just open a new window yeah i was i was talking about me tapping my desk i know i was just being a dick well i mean that's baseline so yeah thank you thanks yeah um so that's all right baseline data is something i deal with every day work okay um was johnny a dick today their baseline is yes yeah it's that's not a number i know

all right so where is it the window all right so right, so first, it's from Wayne. I apologize for getting to these. Some of these might be from December, but, and I don't think we're getting, we might not get all of them on today, too. But, all right, let's see what happens. This is Wayne.

What's up? This is Wayne. Gotta fuck up my last voicemail. It's, pronouns are he, him. Wild college football playoff games last night for New Year's Eve. Yeah, freaking Ohio State. Joking even worse than Michigan did against TCU against Georgia.

Been to the field goal right at the strike of midnight, which was ironically synced up to when the clock hit zero. So we have TCU and Georgia in the college football playoff final out in Los Angeles. Incredible, incredible shit. Thanks for longtime listener. Thank you again, longtime listener. Well, there's your problem. And a new listener to 10 K.

Happy New Year. Go birds. And go birds. Fuck the cowboy. Yeah, that's correct. Yeah. All right. Well, thank you, Wayne.

We got another Voicemail From Charlie We actually have three Two from Charlie today Of course we do We have We have We have an older one

And we have a newer one Okay And like I say The number two is The best Alright Don't loop it infinitely Here we go

Hey guys This is Charlie from Osborough He him The best. All right. Don't loop it infinitely. Here we go. Hey, guys. This is Charlie from Asheboro. He, him. Yay, Liam. Hello, Tom. Yeah, it was the, you know, bizarre post-World Cup wrap-up for the U.S. men's national team. You know, thinking the stuff happening in the House of Representatives

couldn't get weirder. The U.S. national team has to have to them. The guy that was coaching the U.S. men, the team during the World Cup, Greg Burkhalter, had his contract lapse at the beginning of this year, but he had to reveal the fact that he was being that the US Federation was being approached by his former teammate on the men's national team, Claudia Reyna, who was blackmailing the Federation with an alleged with an alleged incident, domestic abuse incident that happened in 1991 with his girlfriend, then now current wife, to try to get him to not be, have his contract not renewed. So the contract did lapse, and he had to Reyna owned up to it. This stems from the fact that Claudia Reyna's son, Gio Reyna, who's on Borussia Dortmund,

didn't start the first game against Wales and played a very limited role in the second game against England because he was dogging it in practice. And after the World Cup, Burkhalter revealed that he was going to expel Gio Reyna from the team during the World Cup and had to put it to the players to vote. There was several leaks here. And, you know, it's just, it's such a fucking stupid fucking story. It's like, do not mess with New Jersey youth. It's like New Jersey youth sports happening all at once, but this shouldn't happen at the highest level of sports.

This is going to be a very weird offseason for the U.S. team. And thankfully they don't have to qualify for the World Cup in 2026. So who knows who's going to be the next coach? Could be anybody. It could be you, dear listener. Yeah, this is the best I can explain it right now. Oh, I hope it's true. Lots of rats within rats on this one.

Alright, well, that's your... I saw the news when that was like... That was bizarre. Yeah, I saw part of that. Yeah, that's weird. At least it's nice to know that soccer's fucking weird too. Like every other sport.

I mean, it's also, it's extremely weird. I mean, they literally played a, you know, World Cup on top of dead, you know,

Indian and Pakistani workers. Oh, shit. All right. Thanks, Charlie. Bobby is next.

I think that a good, sensible team requires a good, sensible leader. So I, Keith Dahmer, should be the best coach in the World Cup. I think it's pretty obvious. Cricket is my specialty, but as a cricket expert, I think that I could lead a sensible team of sensible players

who will cup victory. Thank you. He's all over the place. Here's a message from my friend. Hey, Andy Pope Liam here. He's all over the place. Here's a message from my friend. He slipped into JFK there for a little bit. Hey, Andy Pope Liam here. I hope you could hear any of the shit I just said.

Bobby from Maryland, I respect the hell out of your story. Love you all. Yay, Liam. Hi, Tom. Fuck Penn. Et cetera. Also fuck Penn. Different school, but fuck him. Yeah, fuck him too.

I had a fucking adventure with their parking the other day I was so focused on Oh did you? Fucking hate those people man Pay taxes You're supposed to be a school Not a real estate company That's every fucking university anymore

Wow I slept at the Anymores in there Wow That was not ironic not real estate company that works for that's every fucking university anymore um wow i slept to the anymore's in there wow uh that was not ironic um shit now i'm trying to think if i could do my list cure starmer i don't think i can i'd have to work on it i don't want to torture you with that like live thank you um all right thanks bobby uh All right. So we have now we have we have a couple returning. We've had a couple returning people. We have someone I don't believe was called it before. I'm not 100 percent sure. But Raphael. So I don't believe we've had. This is Raphael from Jersey. I am setting up here in New York City, and I am about to have my holes widened on Saturday if the birds do not fucking win this. Oh, I remember it's one of the most PetroState-infested sports outside of, like, maybe F1. There are two teams with direct PetroState, like, title sponsorships, UAE Emirates and Bahrain Victorious.

And then you've got, what's it now, Ineos Grenadiers, which is, you know, Ineos is a petrochemical company that is mostly print-centric, but still. Fucking petrochemicals. It's like the Dow Jones. Fuck them. And then you also got the fucking Bahrain Tour, which is a season opener.

And I think there may also be a race in Saudi Arabia. So, yeah, UCI. go fuck yourself. I love to ride my bicycle along the line. Yeah, that's about it. Go Birds, fuck Penn State. Go Birds. Go Phils.

Sorry, Mets. And, yeah, have yourself a good day, guys. Yeah, I am here to break breaking news. Oh, level, level, levels. No, I don't care. Destroyed. Yeah, I don't give a shit no I don't we will be doing a cycling episode

oh breaking news for Tom as well breaking news for Tom as well I forgot to text you about this I wonder who that would be because I'm pretty sure I know who that is yeah I already signed her up so text you about this. I wonder who that would be. Because I'm pretty sure I know who that is. Alright. Yeah, yeah. I already signed her up, so. Alright. The one cycling journalist

we know of. Yeah. It will be Kate Wagner. Hopefully the computer is... Why am I still doing this voice? Hopefully it's not delayed this time. No delay, delay, delay. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.

Fuck. All right. All right. We got the thanks, Raphael. That voice does sound familiar, though. Did I fucking do that? I'm losing it. It's long COVID.

All right. Corey, we got Connor from California I was not firing on all cylinders hey Tom hey Liam and hello to any guests as unlikely

as that may be on the pre-episode my name is Connor from California he him I try to get him to do both I've been listening

basically since the podcast started and as you may be able to guess from my location your Philadelphia Eagles are about to host my beloved San Francisco 49ers for the NFC Championship game sorry I. Your Philadelphia Eagles are about to host my beloved San Francisco 49ers for the

NFC Championship game. Sorry. I figured this was the perfect time to leave my first voicemail. First of all, I'd like to wish everyone a healthy, clean game for the rest of Shut the Fuck Up Forever. Well, that didn't happen. Hey, I saw it running and I broke your guy's arm. ...the most testicular cancer

of all time. Who? Now my question. The only significant weaknesses of the team seem to be the Niners' pass defense and the Eagles' run defense. Which one do you think is going to rip my heart out of my fucking chest and stomp on for the sixth time in 12 years? Will the Niners' pass defense sink to the depths of the Kansas City game before the win streak started? Will the Eagles' run, step up, and throw a wrench in Shanahan's game plan? How will I, yet again, cease

to exist as a functioning human being for the next two to six months? And what new hobbies should I get to pass up? Anyway, that's all from me. Fuck them football in general. Communism will win, and go Niners! Bye! I'll take up baseball.

Yeah, you're into baseball now. Go Giants. Giants are predicted to be a 500 team this year, so have fun. Sorry. That was fucking amazing. Good voice for radio, though.

I gotta say. So the voicemail said, I would put Roger Bale's penis in the Large Hadron Collider. Okay. I mean, that would give you cancer. Did you ever see the guy who stuck his head in the particle accelerator? Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty cool.

If you haven't seen that, look it up. It's like Russian particle accelerator guy. Leaving the cleanest wound of all time. when you get fucking domed by a photon um dude lived yeah um had a headache if i recall yeah i think it's easier than shit though later in life oh that's a shame yeah um oh i don't know what that means is oh that's a new a new nft finally went out yeah i finally I finally minted one, dude. Yeah. Coming soon, Liam Bucks.

Liam Bucks in partnership with DraftFox. It's just you in a different pose flipping someone off. Every time, yeah. Liam Bucks. All right, we got Corey from Minnesota here. Apparently, I'm very dumb. Hey, Tom and yay, Liam. This is Corey from Minnesota again.

My pronouns are he and him. I just wanted to apologize for my previous voicemail and inform you and the listeners that I successfully reversed my Dragon Ball Z-like fusion with the couch. And in the spirit of keeping this brief i want to ask you folks um exactly what heinous things would you do to the stanley cup or the lombardi trophy i'm not gonna play favorites here i'd fuck it i would fuck the stanley anyways thanks for the other content i'd fuck the gold biking if i win the cup i Cup, I'm fucking it. I'm fucking it. I am fucking that trophy. Sorry.

No, you know what? I'm not sorry. If I win the Stanley Cup, I'm... So I'm coming at this as the angle of, like, me, Liam Anderson, at 31, becomes a professional hockey player good enough to make an NHL roster. I'm fucking the Stanley Cup, dude. No, no, no two ways about it. I am fucking the Stanley Cup i i think we had this conversation

before that i feel like charlie brought this up the lombardi trophy is much more uh it's like a fraudable uh kind of uh yeah yeah yeah no absolutely you're out of your mind if you think i'm not fucking the Stanley Cup. Man, that's fucking wild. Dude, it would be kind of funny to lose in a place they couldn't recover it from. Yeah, and be like, sorry, get a new one. Well, shit, this, that, I mean, this is kind of crazy. That fucker's on the moon right now, so I'm sorry about that.

Yeah, sorry, there's nothing I can do. I play enough Kerbal Space Program uh i could whip something together uh that yeah i i don't know if i'm gonna fuck that no shut up siri uh i i accidentally pressed it um i do that all the time yeah um fuck i i'm not gonna fuck the Lombardi trophy As deliciously fraudable as it looks No I'm fucking the Stanley Cup I don't know I don't know what do you do

What do you fucking do I don't know dude What are those when they go crazy They take it on their yacht They all fuck it We know that Maybe you Oh I know they, I mean, they, they all fuck it. We, we know that. Maybe you,

Oh, I know you rent out the Stanley cup. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you just pass it around. I, I, I guarantee someone would pay a million dollars to fuck the Stanley cup.

Like if you were doing that, you would, you could make some bank, I think. Yeah. I kind of feel fucked up though. Oh, I don't care could make some bank, I think. It kind of feels fucked up, though. Oh, I don't care. Yeah.

All right. All right. Now that our voicemails are sorted out, we got another from Charlie. Birds! Birds! Go, birds! Go, yay, Liam A. Tom! Charlie from Roxborough, he, him.

Go, birds! Go, Birds. Birds. Birds in the Super Bowl. Again. For the fifth time. Third time in my life. The Birds. Birds all the way.

I don't care who they're playing. I don't care if it's Mahomes or Joe Burrow. I don't care. It's just Birds. Birds all day. Fuck the 49ers. Fuck Rock Purdy's. Elbow exploded. I don't care. It's just birds. Birds all day. Fuck the 49ers. Fuck Rock Purdy's. Elbow exploded.

I don't care. But it's birds. Just birds. All birds. Yeah. I think Charlie died there at the end. Oh, that's a shame. I like Charlie.

Yeah, he's a nice guy. Boss beer. Yes, fuck yeah. Go birds. Boss beer. Yes, fucking fuck yeah. Go birds. I love the stankle mooms. Yeah. That's beautiful. What a beautiful accent we have.

Just love it. Literally music to my ears anytime I hear a good one. My students get weird when I'm like, oh, you do say that very... Hey, why are you analyzing our accents? Because it amuses me to do so. Because it amuses me.

All right. Would you rather be doing this... You're stuck in here. Would you rather be doing this or reading some fucking... Reaching Catra in the Rye? Yeah, exactly. Fucking be grateful. Yeah.

I could stick more Colin Hawfield on you. Book fucking sucks. A terrible fucking book. Yeah. Whatever. It's fine as an example of literature that you should read but it's not i don't think it's a great book okay uh last one we got zach from pittsburgh pittsburgh expert hey uh that's he she her uh it's been a while since I've called from Pittsburgh. That's pretty kind of neat that there's an arc from the first time I called

to now where my gender identity is now recorded through multiple stages. Anyway, it's really exciting that the Eagles are making it to the Super Bowl. Yeah, absolutely. Hoping they win as my Pennsylvania solidarity grows, even though the Steelers actually finished the winning season, so I'm not as bummed as I was last time I called. It's also cool in Pittsburgh news that Touch got signed back, and hopefully that will lead to something.

Probably in their, like, 60-win season, but still, it'll be cool to see Touch. Yeah, but anyway, go Birds and fuck Penn State. Fuck Penn State. Penn State, we absolutely support our fans and their journey of self-discovery, living their truest selves. Thank you for listening to us.

Taking that step, yeah. It's tough. But yeah, it's self-affirming. It's gender-affirming, all that stuff. Proud of you. We're your dads now. We're your gender-affirming dads now. Yes, exactly.

Also, a video at Hubert's surfaced showing several white teen girls with one spray-painting the face of another with a dark color and yelling, I'm not going to repeat it. Other girls present laughed throughout the video.

Yeah, so that's Hubert, baby. St. Hubert's, or as we called it, St. Pubert's. That's good. Yeah, they get so mad when you said that yeah uh bringing me back all right uh let's see i don't think i think we're actually through voicemail as well oh yeah i gotta look this up catholic catholic kids come on, man. I'll read the DM. So, friend of the show, Metric Mike, sent us a... I love Metric Mike's, like, six-part DMs.

Oh, since that's me copying and being lazy. Oh, okay. They're usually two or three parts. Browns fired Bernie Kosar, a former Browns quarterback, from the Browns pregame radio show because he placed a $19,000 bet on the Browns beating the Steelers on January 8th. The Browns lost 14 to 28.

So if anyone's asking how sports betting is going in Ohio, the alleged first bet place results in results in an NFL rule violation that results in one of the Browns radio personalities getting fired. So it's going great. Fuck Penn State. Fuck sports betting. Yeah. Not to be confused with uh

bet fucks or sports fucks who are the sports fucks sports fucks our sponsor yeah um yeah oh man yeah fuck fuck that shit it's it's they're gonna find out that some fucking refs oh yeah they yeah. They basically already. Yeah. I mean, you know, like I got to say, too, like when just going back to the Eagles Chiefs game that are not the Eagles Chiefs games, the Eagles, the Chiefs Bengals. Yeah. And the Bengals drive there towards the end. Yeah.

And there was a lot of Bengals fans are upset with the penalties are being called and honestly like i saw why i i i wouldn't like losing my season on that either yeah um obviously they shouldn't have thrown the pick that's that's what doomed them but the penalties at the end um they were very ticky tack yeah very very at the very least you can say oh it's rigged maybe you know maybe but no it's it at the very least game shouldn't be tiki-tac bullshit like that i mean and there's a lot of ways that they could that i mean because there's didn't the guy who did the point shaving in the nba write a book and he was talking about how easy it is yeah yeah yeah it's super easy to push it without being obvious you just have to know what we're doing tim donaghy yeah yeah from havertown oh went to nova yeah went to cardinal o'hara because of course he did yeah got my first sack against cardinal o'hara i'd only suck yeah that

was the first time i ever actually played like the first time I got put in a game, and I sacked them, and then they pulled me the next fight. It's like, come on, fuck you. Yeah, anyway. All right, so, ready to wrap this up? Yeah. All right. Shout-outs to our North Catholic tier patrons, Patrick M., Sean P., Mike S., May the B, Stevie D.,

and then we have two new 700-level patrons, Fizzbuzz and Riley S. So, thank you. you thanks we appreciate the money that helps with the student loans um all right plugs 267-371-7218 please give us your name and pronouns dm us follow us i'm at dick at tp and he's at liam anderson with a zero because he's elite and then we're at 10 000 losses something i don't know maybe twitter won't exist by the time uh we can only help out yeah uh patreon.com so it's 10 000 losses and then listen to other pods i'm so behind on podcasts right now uh well there's a problem just put a new episode today yeah i just saw that come out and then that's the one on the airport right

yeah yeah uh i love in zen casters the titles ross give bad airport some of the bonus episodes are named that way like too many floors yes oh man all right yeah so listen to that listen to trash future listen to lions led by liams listen to hell way listen to any pitches where are the other ones kill james bond um you can listen to 10 000 posts if you want uh i don't care uh listen to the joe west podcast apparently that's the thing uh oh as we're as we're getting out of here the breaking news today is that joe west was discovered editing his own Wikipedia page. I bet he was. Yeah.

Removing the negative instances. Okay. Under the guise of minor edits and grammar fixes. Okay, guy. Yeah. Relax. Yeah. Cut to Joe West.

All right. So thanks, everybody. Love you all. Bye. Bye. Go Birds. Go Birds!