Ten Thousand Losses - Mad About Everything

Episode Date: January 1, 2022

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you. Accused of punching a police horse. CTE! CTE! CTE! Those negative fans make himself vomit. Go Bears! Go Bears! You gotta think the fanatic's gonna go down to her and give her a bunch of hot dogs. The snowball's starting to come.

They'll boo us, but they won't let anybody else boo us. Hello? Yeah, lead me. Hello, what's up? Hello. Yeah, lead me. Hello, what's up? I'm bad at this. All right, I'll take over. Welcome to a very special episode of 10,000 Losses, live from Tom's house. Yes. Where I am currently.

We are going to release episode 9 concurrently with this because last week was Christmas and it got away from me. So some of the stuff you hear, it doesn't matter because no sports have been played. Everyone's got COVID. Everyone's dead. Uh, we don't have too much today, but, uh, I am as always Liam Anderson and here with my, my, my co-host. Toast.

Yes. Toast. Um, uh, yes, I'm Tom Payne. Um, and I'm, we are. Toe host. Yes. Toe host. Yes. I'm Tom Payne. And we are in the same room. Yeah. We're doing a very special episode. Yep. Because my girlfriend is not in town.

And I was sad. And then I'm hanging out with Tom. Yeah. And his significant other. So I'm happy about that. Yeah. We ate chicken together. We're eating chicken.

I'm stealing your whiskey right now. Yeah. I have your beer. I'm stealing your whiskey. Yeah. We're pals. Yeah. We ate chicken together. You're eating chicken. I'm stealing your whiskey right now. Yeah. I have your beer. I'm stealing your whiskey. Yeah. We're pals. Yeah. And my one concern is that there's too much just virile masculinity in one room.

Yeah. I mean. The levels might just be shooting out the podcast. The window might break. Yeah. We are ripped and jacked and yoked and ready to shred yep uh oh you know what uh i i actually had something uh you you saw cars once that's covered right did i tell you that yeah you did say that we laughed about it yeah we didn't put that in the outline but

before we got started i really wanted to talk about the fact that our golden boy uh has covid and they tried to drag fucking Phillip Rivers out of retirement. I love what the hijinks the NFL is up to and the NBA, which I don't know if you agree with this. I know we didn't have it in the outline, but they need to pause the season. This shit

is just bad. Because it sucks, dude. They have to put a product on the field, metaphorically. I'm a big college football guy. it sucks, dude. Like, they have to put a product on the field, metaphorically. Like, I, so, I'm a big college football guy. All these games are getting canceled. There has not been, there has been one good game in bowl season, and it was the University of Alabama

at Birmingham beating 13-ranked BYU. Like, that's been the one game. Like, I watched Maryland-Virginia Tech in the finals like 54-10. Like, these games suck ass. That's like Temple, isn't it? Yeah, it's like a Temple score. And I'm like, I'll watch any football no matter how shitty because I'm a bad person.

It fucking sucks to watch a supposedly legitimate Blue Brug program get beat up by 44. Yeah, and that's like a bowl game. It's like the pinnacle of... You want to watch, like, a shootout. Yeah. You know, you want to see some, like, primetime, like... You want to watch, like, a game that ends, like, 51-50. Yeah.

Like, that... And it sucks, because, like, it's funny, because this college football season, we got so many good games. Like, there was one I was watching, because I cheer for Ole Miss, because I'm a moron, that went, like, it went 51-50. And, like, it literally went down to the last play of the game on, like, a failed two-point conversion by Arkansas.

And, like, there was that Alabama-Auburn game that went to, like, quadruple overtime. Just, I do, like, the, you know, the Sixers beat the Raptors yesterday. The Raptors had no dudes. Yeah. It's kind of like, yeah, a win's a win, but, like. It's a weird dynamic with all this COVID shit. It certainly, you know, part of me is like, I want them to play because,, if shit gets shut down, which it's not, it's going to fucking suck.

But on the other hand, like, they are human beings. Yeah, I don't – yeah, fuck. I mean, when you're calling Carson with – not Phil Rivers. Or Drew Brees. The Saints were trying to call Drew Brees out of retirement. Drew, do you have any more white supremacy in the tag? I think I might coach. You might coach. Is that Malcolm Jenkins' kid still on the team?

I just – like if I could watch anything in the world, it would be to watch Malcolm Jenkins just pick up Drew Brees by his feet and just spin around and throw him. I love that Drew Brees came out and was like, I've been educated about racism. And I just knew that that was Malcolm Jenkins basically holding a knife to him.

Being like, we're going to sit here and read WB DuBois together until you fucking get it. Man, I hope that's what it was yeah I really do uh shit who came out was like it was like the height of the black lives matter protest I forget who it was oh Blaine Johnson yeah this like corn-fed boy from Oklahoma who had said some dumb shit in the past like when he was in college just being like black lives matter and I like I understand that now.

Yeah, no, props to our beautiful boy, Lane Johnson. Who we'll get into later scored the thick six. Apparently the play call was East Texas. I was like, call it the thick six. Call it the thick six, you cowards. And if you know what you said

about Lane Johnson in the past, he's from East Texas. Yeah. There are a few places in this country that are more racist than East Texas to this day. Like, you still hear talk about there are certain towns in East Texas that are still kind of technically sundown. Sundown towns, yeah. It's like, fuck that shit. So, you know, if Lane Johnson

can change, so can you, because you're listening to this as a... Hopefully you have decent politics already. Yeah. But if you're not, come along. this as a... Hopefully you have decent politics already. But if you're not, come along. Come to Doralstown. See what happens. Or North Philly.

Yeah. Or that. Come see me. Come see me. Do you remember a couple years ago, too, when Kyle Lowry threatened some guy at the Sixers game and was like, I live at 23rd and Lehigh. Come see me. Because Doherty kids never change.

Kyle Lowry waiting on his mama's porch at 23rd and Lehigh for one specific Sixers heckler. And I was like, the guy's from here. That's a guy from Philly. That's a Philly dude. He's a North Philly guy. He went to Doherty and then he went Nova, and then he went to the NBA. I just love that all the money and success and power you have as Kyle Lowry,

and you're still willing to, not ironically, say, I live at 23rd and Lehigh. Come see me. I mean, I— Philly is a different breed, man. I guess I could share this story. Like, you know, as a teacher who works with kids who have emotional issues, a lot of times our parents have emotional issues as well, right? It's like cyclical.

And I had once a situation where a parent threatened one of my assistants and uh this is up here in the suburbs unfortunately but but um you know i'm from kensington i'm from like the rough part of philly and i told my assistant straight up like not i'm not not kidding like if this kid's dad shows up in the parking lot I will meet him out there and I will be glad to meet him out there and it's like I had another teacher in there looking at me like what the fuck is wrong with you

I'm like if someone's going to threaten my assistant I'll go out there and see how tough they are talking to me and it's like an urge I'm from second. I'm from second. I'm from second in Allegheny. Go see what the fuck happens. Go to Freddy and Tony's.

Come see me. I've had people on Twitter DM me, like, yo, fuck you, comments, whatever. I'm like, all right, go meet me at Freddy and Tony's in second Allegheny. Very good food, by the way. Support them. And I say, go ask for chinga tu Madre Pendejo and see what happens. Well, of course, if you know any Spanish, you know what that's going to get you.

I don't even have to be there. And then go to Sean Thornton's and also get your ass kicked there. Yeah. With their weird handmade tapestry of the spires of Kensington. Jesus Christ. Absolutely fantastic bar.

We're hyper-local again. It's a Philly sports podcast. Yes. I can't read the outline from this far, Jesus. Absolutely fantastic bar. We're hyper-local again. It's a really sports podcast. Yes. I can't read the outline from this far, so you're going to have to hold my hand and throw it. Fuck.

Let me zoom in. Hopefully it won't freeze my computer. We'll see, baby. There we go. Oh, also, our pronouns are both he, him. Yeah.

Well, we talked about the masculine energy. Yeah, we did. I'm thrombic. Everyone's pregnant here. Everyone's pregnant. Yeah, we did. I'm thrombic. Yeah. So. Everyone's pregnant in here. Everyone's pregnant. Yeah. Good.

So let's talk about the Giants shitting in their own mouths. Yeah. We won. We won. We won. We won by 24 points. We won. We won the game.

We won the game. We won the game. But this is what we should have did the last time we played. Yes. I don't know. This is what good teams do. Good teams beat up bad teams. We showed, we played well and showed the Giants what it's like to be a shitty team.

Like the Giants learned how shitty they are. We, we. Not without our drama. No. The Giants learned how shitty they are. We... Not without our drama. No. It was scoreless in the first inning. No, it was tied. It was 3-3.

Jesus Christ. It was 3-3. And then the Eagles learned how to put a drive together. Yes. We figured it. Well, we've been doing this shit every fucking game. Where we're like, all right. They expect that we're going to try and establish the run game

So we're just not going to do it. So we're not going to do it. We're going to try and establish this passing attack. Which actually, our passing attack ended up being pretty decent this game. We established a run in the second fucking quarter. But yeah, that first quarter was absolutely like we're like

like we're texting each other i was like could you imagine going down there and paying for this like absolutely just dog shit foreign outs i think i think uh new york actually uh the giants had a first down before we did it was like on their second or third drive. But it was just absolute dog shit football. It sucked ass. Fuck that shit. But then in the second quarter, they came back, and it sort of picked up, especially the second half. It was like two different football games.

It was. And Hurts had his butterfingers again in the first. And I swore that there was something off with his throwing. You mentioned that to me. Because he was doing these little dipshit. Well, he was throwing at their feet. Yeah. And it happened like three or four times.

He wasn't taking off like he normally does. I still think something's off with him. I think they adjusted for it, you know, with the running game. Miles Sanders got hurt. Our big, brave boy. Who we love. He hurt his hand He keeps hurting himself And then Boston Scott

Hero of Philadelphia Although confusingly named Well it's Dallas Cotter Boston Scott running is the funniest shit to me We're both big boys And it always makes me happy To see Boston Scott Who I think is listed He's Darren Sproul's guy like we're both big boys yeah and it's it's it always makes me happy to see like boss of scott who i think is listed of like five five yeah he's tiny dude he's darren scrolls guy yeah just like

well like there was one the one play it's like watching a dude play frogger um i think it was like a like a shit i'm forgetting my play calls um he was it was uh he was running on like running to the left side. It was like a zone run. And he ducks behind Maillotta and gets – that was a touchdown. And just watching him behind – like literally guys that got a foot on him, if not more. That was 1-6-8.

Yeah. That's a big deal. Yeah. It was great to watch Jason Kelsey, part and soul of this team, lead blocks downfield. And Jason Kelsey got a little frustrated

because I think it was Jordan Howard didn't follow his block. Yeah. The word he got wrapped up? Yeah. Didn't follow his block, so the Eagles still need to work those little things out. But, like, it's – Jason Kelsey is literally the emotional heart of this team, besides maybe Lynn Johnson. Yeah.

Obviously happy. His offensive line is the heart of the team. Yeah. Yeah. And it was, like, I want to talk about, obviously, he missed a couple – Jalen missed a couple easy reads. There was one where we scored the TD eventually, but Goddard's just sitting back right at the end zone. Wide-ass open.

I actually put that in here. Apparently, he didn't miss that read. Apparently, he was the last read on that play. He was like the safety valve. New York just blew the coverage.

I remember the postgame and Sirianni was like, no, I will vouch for this. On that play, Goddard was the last guy you would look for. It was just Dallas being stupid. Part of me should have been like, we'll call the play again.

See what happens. Make him the first read. But no, there were a couple other plays and this has been an issue where he only looks at one or two reads. Maybe he should have progressed through all five or four or five. But if you see an open read, you're going to throw

an open read. I think that's what they teach you to like. I don't know. Am I being an apologist? I feel like there are very few quarterbacks that can make – there are quarterbacks that can make all five at once, basically. Tom Brady. Brady, Rodgers can make three out of five at least reads at once. Yeah, and he wasn't looking that way.

And also, Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers know where the guy is going to be. Yeah. They just already know because they've memorized the play. And they're also, like, old. Yeah. And they've seen it a thousand times. And they know what coverage whoever's going to run. But, no, but the run and, you know, Jordan Harrenbross,

this guy with the running game after Miles Sanders got out, you know, pounded the rock and set up a couple passes. Eagles are running for like 200 yards a game. Yeah. And I just love. The shit works. And I love because NFL. Run defense is hard, man. Yeah.

We both played football. Run defense is hard. And the offensive line of this team is a run. Like, they want to run down. They want to knock guys over. Yeah. And I said this on Twitter, but, like, if you haven't seen Jordan Maia's rugby highlights, he is literally a foot and a half taller than everybody else. And, like, rugby is a physical sport, and he's running over guys with just a hand.

He's pushing a guy out with a – And, well, that also goes to the thing that I want to see him do a running play. guys with just a hand. He's pushing a guy out with it. Well, that also goes to the thing that I want to see him do a running play. I think he would. If you put him on a goal line, especially if it's a tough touchdown, I would love to see what he does with a defensive line.

He's big now. When he was playing rugby, he was trim. Now he's over 300 pounds. He's a big boy now. When he was playing rugby, he was trim. And now he's over 300 pounds. He's a big boy now. And I'm sure a stiff arm from him is going to hurt. Yeah, you could be Fletcher Cox and he might knock you over. You know, that type of strength.

The defense looked, once they got going, they were smothering tail. Yeah. At the end of the game, we started getting all this collapse of the pocket constantly. But the defense held the game together. That first quarter, they only allowed one first down, I think, from New York. And they were – who was the quarterback from New York? Oh, Jake Fromm. Yeah.

I mean, they scared the shit out of him. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He. Yeah. I mean, they scared the shit out of him. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He couldn't get settled. Where Fletcher Cox and I forget who shared a sack, but, I mean, they just ran his ass over. Yeah. And, like, just over and over. And, like, this is what I said about the greatest Super Bowl ever played, Super Bowl 53, where Belichick basically looked at, oh, God, Jared Goff and said,

I'm going to make you make a ton of decisions that you don't want to make or don't know how to make. And I'm going to make you do that every single fucking play and make you miserable. And that's exactly what the Eagles did. Jonathan Gannon's defensive scheme for once in his life worked out. And, like, they kept getting home, they kept getting pressure. Yeah. And, you know, you can tell a lot

by how unhappy you make a quarter. I mean, he looked miserable. And it's a remarkable that he's doing that without floating much. Which, growing up with, what's his name? Jim Johnson? Is that the right name? Shit.

Who was the defensive coordinator on Green? Yeah, yeah. Jim Schwartz? Jim Schwartz. Thank you. He was a real blitz-heavy guy, and you'd love to see Brian Dawkins get in there. Yeah. Safety sack.

But, yeah, the front four has been getting good coverage and getting good penetration, I mean. And even if they weren't hitting him, they were just, yeah. They weren't doing it. The front four has been getting good coverage and getting good penetration, I mean. And even if they weren't hitting him, they were just – Yeah. They weren't doing it. I mean, they wrapped up Saquon over and over and over again. Yeah. Good run defense. And then the guy can't be comfortable with a three-step drop even.

You have a guy in shotgun, he's getting upset. Yeah. Speaking of shotgun, there was fourth and third and ten, and they tried to run with the shotgun. The announcers were just like, what are you doing? This has happened a couple other games too. I've seen this happen. Why the fuck are you running from the

shotgun on third down? You're making it 15 yards if it's third and ten. Why? I guess Saquon Barkley i guess like you could reasonably expect that he could maybe break out but maybe 35 yeah no they and they did it more than once yeah and it was like this isn't working guys like stop like just do a wildcat snap at that point honestly honestly. Yeah. Fuck it. Notre Dame box. We were all on the right side. Well, speaking of...

We're going to get four yards if it kills us. Speaking of Notre Dame box, where it has like, you can't tell who the tight end is and who's the lineman, Lane Johnson with his with his... 6-6. 6-6.

The Eagles didn't allow a sack but they did have one receiving touchdown one fucking wide open and I know that you have to you have to tell a ref

like you're on the eligible receivers play and there's I guess no one that shows something on the Giants side because

you pay there's someone on that team that's supposed to be like keeping track of who's on who's in formation it's like oh shit they have 6 linemen one team that's supposed to be keeping track of who's in formation. It's like, oh shit, they have six linemen.

One of them is going to be eligible. And the dude was wide open. Literally, he just stepped back the block and ran off. That's a trick play. And that shit worked. I mean, a trick play won us the Super Bowl. So, won you the Super Bowl, I should say. That's true.

Alex Eagleton, haven't heard much of him this year, but he had to pick six. Yeah. Buried him. Yeah, which, yeah, that was the nail in the coffin. Fucking... Hell yeah. No, it was a good game to watch. I mean, he had garbage time at the end, so Minshew got the play.

As a backup. Yeah. That's Minshew got to play as a backup that's what he is, he's a backup he's not your starter thank you for your service enjoy your paycheck I'm sure that the jacket that he wore, the bomber jacket, will get him into army bars

you get free drinks in Bridesburg, the post office is still open. That shit burned. Irish lightning. Speaking of hyperlocal. Hyperlocal, yeah. Do you like cocaine?

No, I do, but I can't have it anymore. No, it's not good. But the post office, great spot. It's burned down, so. Sorry, everybody. Sorry, guys. Yeah, they ordered flat toilet paper dispensers for a reason. Anything else on the Eagles?

Play Washington on Sunday. Washington's all dead. Still dead from COVID. Revenge game. You have to beat them. We should say that if the Eagles win their final two against Washington and the hated Dallas Cowboys, if they win against Washington,

I am absolutely going to that Cowboys game. Yeah, I think we might have to do that. Yeah. It'd be expensive, but if you want to help pay for that, you can subscribe to our Patreon. Yeah. Our next Lotus episode is going to be, hopefully, Roz talking about. if you want to help pay for that, you can subscribe to our Patreon. Yeah. Um, our next Lotus episode is going to be, hopefully you bras talking about shitty decrepit baseball.

You get to hear me talk about baseball. We'll also have at some point, Kate Wagner of McMansion hell fame. Yes. I want to talk about the post Jordan bowls. Oh, hell yeah. Because we're a weird sports podcast.

Yes. I'll tell you that. Uhs. Oh, hell yeah. Because we're a weird sports podcast. Yes. Did I not tell you that? No, but hell yeah. This podcast is really just my way of fulfilling parasocial relationships. But no, that's awesome. Yeah, hell yeah. For Temple, we've got nothing. They were supposed to play Nova tonight.

Uh, that game got postponed due to COVID. Uh, once again, fuck Villanova as we were most proud Temple boys. Yeah. Um, and we,

we should own, we should own Villanova on the podcast that, uh, you've listened to. Maybe. Uh, uh, fuck. I think that was the one we were thinking about going to. Yeah, it was. Maybe. Uh. Uh, fuck.

I think that was the one we were thinking about going to. Yeah, it was. Yeah, shit. Ah, sorry. Tyler Johnson, our boy, selling loosies out the back of the Wells Fargo Center, moving on to the Sixers. Did you, uh, yeah, he was unjustly called for blocking, so we're in the Sixers now.

We beat the Wizards, fuck the Wizards. Um, but, holy shit. Uh, did you hear what they talked – what Doc said about him? Oh, he doesn't really know the playbook, but he's been in the NBA long enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doc will tell you. Doc knows. Man has a ring. Yeah, and by the way, if you're listening to this and you're one of the guys calling into,

uh, the VIP or worse, the fanatic and, you want to fire Doc Rivers, uh, go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Man has a ring and you don't.

Shut up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don't have a ring. There are criticisms of me and Doc Rivers, but he is a good coach. You might have a father judge.

Probably do. That's probably your proudest possession. Yeah. What's the name of that fucking company that's got class rings? Fuck. Oh, layman's. I know who you're talking about. Yeah.

You probably got the shitty one with the American flag on it, too. Ugh. I might have done that with mine. Shit. Did you? I don't wear my class ring. Yeah, I got the American flag on it. Well, I have a class ring. I don't wear my class ring. Yeah, I got the microphone. Well, I have a class ring.

I don't wear it anymore. I yopped it out. I got to change it. Get the cross off one side. Get something cool. Maybe put it upside down. Buddy, you went to North. I know.

I know. I know. Yeah. So, the Sixers have not been hit really badly by this wave of COVID. I mean, the Mavericks are signing, like, three dudes to 10-day contracts. The Sixers, I would say. I mean, we both got phone calls from the Mavs. Huh?

We both got phone calls from the Mavs. Yeah, it was crazy, too. I was just like, no, I can't let this up. I'm waiting for my call in for the Flyers. Yeah. Yeah, although Tom here will be starting at point guard for the Dallas Mavericks. Hey, I actually do have one year of point guard experience with the Port Region Tigers. Good for you, man.

Yeah, when I was in fourth grade. I played center. Yeah. Well, I hit six feet pretty bad. Hey, I'm six foot if I wear shoes. You're not that short, Guy. Five-eleven and a half. I mean, Mosey Bugs could dunk

and he was, what, five-seven? I can't dunk, though. I can't dunk. I can pass. I know the fundamentals. I'm okay on the defense. I'm a good white boy point guard. I know the fundamentals. Look, chess pass. I can bounce pass. I'm actually okay on defense.

Hand down, man down, Tom. I usually get people mad because I... Really? I'm acting it out like you can see. Get really close in. Face guarding. Shit. They beat the Raptors, the Sixers did,

in Tobias Harris' first great triple double Embiid I want to talk about for a second is still playing at an MVP level he's still, I mean the game against the Hawks was hideous but Embiid is still playing at an MVP level, he's not in the conversation he's being robbed

he is he put up 36 last night. He's pulling weight. Doing this without his complimentary all-NBA defense. He's having a career year. Joel Embiid is special. Do want to talk about the fight he had with Montrezl Harrell. I'm going to issue a tiny bit of constructive criticism of Joel Embiid.

Montrezl Harrell. He listens. He listens. He does. Friend of the pod, Joel Embiid. I've met him. He is very cool. He's going to be a groomsman. Yeah. I can't wait.

Can't wait for that suit fitting. That'll be $70,000. Yeah, here's $10,000. Go get it. Knock yourself out. Please subscribe to our Patreon so I can afford one of these. So he and Montrezl Harrell, Montrezl Harrell plays for the Wizards. Trez issued some criticism of Joel Embiid after they got into a shoving match,

which was, you say you're so tough, but then you're pointing and begging for the ref's attention. You sort of can't have it both ways. If you're so tough, then stand on that. Stand on that. And I want to say two things. Is that, literally every fucking player does it, which is basically

I was fouled. Joel doesn't go to the line enough somehow. Truly, genuinely. Joel Embiid same thing LeBron 10 years ago gets hacked on every play and they just, sometimes they call it sometimes they don't. He's the anti-Yannis. Yeah.

He gets hacked on every play, man. They truly hack him. But I will say Joel Embiid loves being a troll. He does. Until the odds are not in his favor. And like, I'm not attacking his masculinity here, but his

breakdown after the Raptors, which is a heartbreaking way to put it. And like, I'm not making fun of him for crying because if I had made it that far and lost on a Kawhi Leonard dagger in my face. You can't, you can't.

That Kawhi shot was. You, you, yeah. Uh, I actually saw a video of two Sixers fans who went to that game. Yeah. And the guy's taking a Snapchat and he's like,

we drove 10 hours for this. It's just Kawhi hitting the dagger, which was the two Sixers fans in the crowd. And his dad, it's him and his dad and they're just like looking but I will say Joel Embiid can dish it out but sometimes feels like he can't take it okay

and I think that you gotta be on all the time if you wanna be a troll yeah if you wanna play bully ball you gotta be able to. Because shit can get under his skin. That's more what I'm talking about.

And, like, sometimes it makes you play better. Like, if somebody says, oh, they're not that good, like the Rockets did to the Warriors a few years ago, where James Harden says the Warriors, in, like, a Snapchat video that the team posts, James Harden says they ain't even that good about the Warriors. And Steph went off for like 45. Yeah.

So I love Joel. Obviously, I have a Joel Embiid jersey. Me too. I think his brand of ball is absolutely fun as hell to watch. I love watching a 7'2 dude take threes. I will say, Joel Embiid's three form is some of the most hideous shooting format. It is.

You haven't seen me shoot three. Or me. Joel Embiid's three shooting form, like, like the weird, like half cradle he does and then does this shit, uh, is,

is something else. You're, you're, you're kinesthetics at that size. You're just, you're doing whatever your body. Yeah. You're just, you're just working aroundesthetics at that size. You're doing whatever your body... Yeah, you're just working around your own body at that point. I will say about Joel, I'm kind of like,

you can't let shit like that get to you. Like, if you want to be a troll, you've got to sort of embrace it. Yeah, you've got to... I feel like Joel is I mean he's a nice dude he's

he's good I mean he's the reason that a lot of the Sixers and Wells Fargo some people got paid last year during the shutdown because MB was like

because our billionaire owner couldn't do it death to crypto death to crypto death to color world or color slides whatever you want to call it yeah build a stadium in Camden probably fucking can't do it Death to Crypto. Death to Crypto, Death to Color World, or Color Splice, whatever the fuck it's called. Yeah. Build a stadium

in Camden. Do it. Do it. Do it. I don't want to fucking pay for it. I'll take Paco. Fuck you. Slap him on the knob, Josh. I will say, there are a couple times where do you remember the 17, 18 Celtics that were trying to fight everybody

with, like, Jay Crowder and Isaiah Thomas? Yeah. When, like, Tatum and Jalen Brown were either not in the league or rookies. And we had that, just the goofiest Celtics team in recent memory. With, like, obviously, like, I don't care that Joel Abita and Marcus Smart hate each other. I love Marcus Smart. I have a Marcus Smart joke.

I love him. Just the most antagonistic fucking dude. Watching Joel play like Lou Williams is fucking fun. Because they just hate each other. It's like watching Westbrook play. They just hate each other. When Ben was still playing in this league, and fucking what's his name on the Nets?

Bald guy. Who wore the headband. Fuck. Jared Dudley? Yeah, Jared Dudley. Yeah, yeah. They hated each other. Yeah.

That was always fun. Watching Ben apologize for the foul and then laughing about it. That's good. It makes the league better. Yeah. Yeah, but it's like wrestling. Like, you got, like, a heel and a face. Watching Joel Embiid and, like, Russell Westbrook hate each other is good basketball.

Yeah. Like, and I really like Russell Westbrook. Like, watching him as a player, I appreciate that Russell Westbrook wants to kill your kids. Like, Russell Westbrook, if it gave him competitive edge, absolutely would be a player. I appreciate that Russell Westbrook wants to kill your kids. Russell Westbrook, if it gave him competitive edge, absolutely would be a serial killer. That shit's fun, and it makes the games better.

Joel Embiid being a taunting goon and trying to fight Draymond Green every 30 seconds makes basketball better. It's just kind of like you've got to also not let it get to you. NBA, it's like personalities are so big. It's just kind of like you've got to also not let it get to you. NBA, it's like personalities are so big. It's only five guys a side.

So when you're the big personality, it just makes the game shine so much more when you're on the court. And yeah, you've got to be able to take it. The Flyers are in a holding pattern. Their last two games got postponed. They played the Kraken tonight. This is Wednesday.

Today is a Thursday. It's Wednesday. No, it's Wednesday. At 10. Yeah, at 10. So in a couple hours. A couple hours. Yeah.

Oh, what time is it, dude? It's 9.38. Oh, shit. Yeah. What was it? Oh, okay. Oh, what state? Is that Kentucky?

Oh, shit. Yeah. Oh, tattoo. I have a tattoo of Kentucky on my leg. Fans. Okay. All right. Hey, shit. Yeah. Oh, tattoo. I have a tattoo of Kentucky on my leg. Fans. Okay. All right. Hey, guys.

Kentucky Fried Chicken's good. I like bourbon. I went to Kentucky, and this is my souvenir. All right. Hell yeah. Tell me about the lockout, Tom. Oh, we really... I didn't delete this.

There's nothing else on this fucking Philly shit. There's nothing going on. I don't want to say, I'm wearing a Bryce Harper jersey. That's my update on the Phillies. This is fucking depressing. There's nothing, there's nothing fucking to talk about the Phillies. Nothing's going on. This lockout sucks.

Fuck billionaires. And you know what? You know what I can get into into MLB the show, the game I like to play it sometimes but everyone who plays it now is so much better than me I'm sorry and I just can't enjoy playing the game

so if you want to play me play the Lena Payhook and Black Cats baseball co-op, because I have a leftist logo, please, uh, DM me. But, uh, otherwise, yeah, fuck it. I have nothing. Uh, I guess this is going to be a short episode. Where are we at? Uh, how many minutes?

33 minutes. Shit. That's not bad, actually. Um, let's see. Who can we shit talk? We shit talked over last week. I will say, I need, oh, college football. Okay, yeah, yeah. So the semifinals for the college football playoff are Friday. It's going to be Alabama versus Cincinnati and Georgia versus Michigan. off for friday um it's gonna be alabama versus cincinnati georgia versus michigan i have never

in my life ever had my hopes pinned to a fucking football team like i do to the university of cincinnati bearcats right now i my hopes and dreams are riding on the Cincinnati fucking Bearcats. Like, not when Temple got snuck into the top 25 and lost to Notre Dame on Halloween. Not the Eagles Patriots Super Bowl. Not hoping that the back row has a bigger Patriots fan. Actually, I hope they go 17-0. Right now, there has never been a bigger fucking University of Cincinnati fan than I am right now.

Like, I don't mind. So my great love in sports, Tom's is baseball. Mine is actually college football. Which is the most conservative of all the families. It's the worst. It's the worst. I am a bad person. I want to be very clear. Liam showed up to my house wearing camouflage.

I did. I was going hunting. I own a camel car, honey. I'm a good York County boy. It's alright. I don't cheer for Penn State. I cheer for Temple, a university with no problems. There's never been any

issues, nothing about gentrification or displacing working class people in the neighborhood or anything like that. Also, Bill Cosby. I'm not going to do my Bill Cosby voice. Don't. Thank you. Yeah, so I was talking to you about this earlier, but

I love watching college football. I am tired of Alabama's dominance. I understand that there's very few sports, I think, with less parity than college football because a program – and it is possible to break out into a nationally established program or to have ebbs and flows. There are programs – Alabama even has had ebbs and flows. There are programs that Alabama even has had ebbs and flows. But, like, there are, I mean, there's been talks for a million years

about, like, the Alabamas, Michigans, Ohio states of the world forming their own sort of super conference. Premier League. Yeah, basically, which, like, that's what Division I FBS football is. Right. Because there's Division I FCS. But I am so fucking tired of Saban. I'm so fucking tired of Alabama.

And I say this as someone who thinks that Nick Saban is the greatest college sports coach probably ever. I am so fucking sick of him. I'm so fucking sick of his smirking face. I just. Sick of Roll Tide. I'm sick of sick of him. I'm so fucking sick of his smirking face. I just. Sick of Roll Tide. I'm sick of Roll Tide. I'm sick of people that have no affiliation with Alabama who are from the north

rooting for the goddamn team. And I say that as someone who roots for Ole Miss, who has no affiliation with the school but heard their fucking tailgates were good. So I drove from Philly to Oxford, Mississippi in a 95 Ranger that lost their gear somewhere in the Smoky Mountains and stayed in a Walmart parking lot to root for a team that ended up beating Fresno State 74-16. Go Rebs.

I'm so fucking sick. We're going to have to do, like, over the summer, like, pick a shitty team to go tailgate for. Corinne told me she wants to, like, establish that as a tradition for her. Yeah. Yeah. We'll go next fall. We'll just pick a team. I don't know. Maryland? Oh, I have a family

connection there. Oh, WVU. That's the best. WVU tailgates are wild because when WVU wins, they destroy the town. It's a very Philly atmosphere. No, never mind. That's Virginia Tech.

Anyway, that was a bad joke. I'm going to make that joke. Shit. Yeah, no. So college football. Yeah. Yeah. The whole bowl system, the thing is, championship is new to me.

Yeah. I used to play NCAA like ncaa 14 or whatever yeah yeah since that went away what they should do genuinely is have a 10 game season and do a single elimination tournament with the top... There are 125 FBS teams. Right. Which is way too fucking many. Right. And, like, just do a single elimination

64-team tournament. And maybe have, like, promotion or relegation. Yeah. Which I think is a big... You couldn't do it because of how the conference system works. Well, I...

Because it's outside the NCAA's purview. I would say that baseball, for example, would be fucking phenomenal if you took you have major league, triple, double, single, high A, low A and you have maybe one year, Toledo Mud

whoever has the lowest record in the league so the Pirates can send down the AAA and the fucking Toledo Mudheads gets it up. You'd have to break the league system but fuck yeah, Toledo Mudheads is in the World Series So the Pirates get sent down the AAA and the fucking Toledo Mudheads get sent up. You'd have to break the league system but fuck yeah. Toledo Mudheads is a World Series. Fuck yeah. Or at least do something like the FA Cup. Yeah. Like that would be really cool.

I would watch that. Oh yeah. In an NCAA all three divisions of NCAA football or basketball. Basketball might be cool. I'd watch that but I would watch that with basketball, especially because you'd have some weird private Christian college

somewhere in the Midwest you've never heard of shooting like 48 threes a game. Or if you have the actual professionals also involved in it. That might be interesting too. I always loved the Alabama could beat

the Lions. No, they couldn't. They would get annihilated. I always wanted to watch that. Yeah, sure, put on Alabama versus the Detroit Lions and watch them lose 120-0. I feel like, in the back of my brain,

I feel like there was a friendly match between the Eagles and some college team at one point. Eagles lost. But I don't know if I'm confusing that with something else. But it's somewhere in my memory. There was a really good history of the Eagles DVD that came out towards the end of the Andy Reid era. It looked very well done, like really informative. Well, in the early days, professional

professional ball leagues played colleges all the time. And the leagues were very fluid. Pottsville Maroons, they won the championship. They have a football made out of anthracite in the Hall of Fame.

Good. Pottsville, you know. The Pottsville Maroon is probably the only thing I'm going to support in Pottsville. I'm not going to support a brewery there. Pottsville Piss, maybe. I support unions. No, that would be fun.

Now I'm thinking of an alternate baseball universe where we had promotional relegation. That would be pretty interesting. That would be good interesting. Would it be good? Yeah. No, definitely. I mean, this is kind of like an extension. Promotional relegation in American sports, a lot of times there's no incentive for bad teams that still make money to get better.

Promotional relegation would actually force you. Because I know in the Premier League or the English football system, getting relegated from Premier League means you're... The first year you lose a certain amount of money. But after three years, you're getting no money from that Premier League contract anymore. So that's a real incentive for you

to go out and recruit and work on your program. I'd always said that I thought teams that never got any better. Yeah. Like, where they're clearly mismanaged should start getting punished.

Yeah. Like, draft picks taken away. Financial penalties. Well, it's like Pitzer Pirates with the nuttings. Or like the Lions.

Yeah, no. You should start losing. You should be fine. There should be penalties. You should start losing. You should start losing. You should start losing. You should start losing.

You should start losing. Cities deserve teams. Like, I don't think it's controversial. Like, Doug, you should start losing. You should be fine. There should be penalties. Cities deserve teams. I don't think it's controversial. Sports are like a, you know, we're getting into the theory here, you know, like religion is the opiate of the people. Right. Right. And if, by the way, if you get that quote wrong, like you were like an atheist, like Edward, you're an idiot, shut up. Marx is not criticizing religion right uh he's saying that it's something that sues

sues the pain of being a fucking poor person um and sports do the same thing it soothes what it is to be you know not in the the capitalist class right it's just watching an entertainment thing yeah and you're and you're like that's why college football is so cool to me it's just watching an entertainment thing. Yeah. And you're, and you're, and like, that's why college football is so cool to me. It's like people, you know, it sucks when someone builds their identity around any institution. But like, it's cool to watch, you know, that's, that's what sucks about like the Lions. Is that in a city like Detroit, you have all this negative shabby, and then you still have the fucking Lions who aren't trying. And, and Detroit deserves a good team.

The working people of Detroit deserve something enjoyable to watch. At least they can watch on Sundays and be like, you can take all

of your shitty anxieties and struggles. That's why it's cool to watch the Bills start getting hot. It's like, Buffalo's a fucking union town.

Yeah. And Buffalo deserves better than what they have. It's been dealt. Yeah. They don't deserve, like,

the Sabres should be in the Stanley Cup final every year if they had any fucking decent sake. Yeah, and I think the thing in Philly is that we're a working class town, but we're big. We're a big enough market where it's like if you don't try and put a problem up, you're going to be punished. The new Phillies manager is learning it the hard way. As I wear a fucking jersey.

Bryce Harper, MVP, baby. The working classes. And that's why I think we can both agree that ticket prices should ticket prices should be – like, certainly, like, tickets should be – like, there should be a cap. Yeah. I don't know if it's, like, that should be league policy. It should cost me $20 no more to go to an Eagles game. Yeah.

Well, like – You're a fucking player now. Like, say we go to the Cowboys game. Yeah. How much is that going to cost us? $200? $200. Yeah.

And that's not counting beer and food and parking. Right, exactly. Yeah, I went to a Phillies game. Yeah, I can get a big – baseball is a little different. I can get a Phillies ticket for $20, but I got to pay for parking. I still got to pay for food. So it's going to end up being $60 a person. And that's – we're lucky that baseball is a sport where they have so many games

that that's where the – they had so many games that, you know, that's where the, you know, they wanted to get people in the seats. They go like, you can, you can go to a Phillies game with a,

with a Wawa bag and you can bring your own food, but it sucks that like what the Sixers were shitty. Yeah. Oh, now they're good. So now it's like a hundred bucks per person. Right. Yeah.

Fuck off with that. Like the price shouldn't be on how good the team is. No, it should be capped. It should be capped. It's like, you knowris roth chris not chris rock kid rock sucks but in his rider there's a stipulation that beers can cost no more than five dollars and tickets should be no more than like 25 what is it is the land of falcons that it's like beers no more than four or five dollars or something like that like I feel like there's...

Of course, capitalists don't really understand this. You make something... You will still make money. You will get a lot more people. You have people like were sold out. And you'll build fandom that way. And you build fandom if your tickets are cheap and the concessions are cheap.

And you're still going to make money because you're... Television deals. You're making your money off TV and merchandise. You're not making your money off of tickets. Baseball. I'll be baseball. The most baseball is money. But like NFL, for example,

it's money. It's irrelevant. It's all from TV deals. Yeah. It's 55 to 70% of a team's income, depending on the team. And it's shared too. I got into the Reddit argument one time over that.

Had to pull out the stats don't go on Reddit getting banned for yelling at people I remember when I got banned from the horse it was about beer prices right it's fine you want to wrap up yeah sure at least you didn't get banned from the big ol' hut no which RIP It's fine. Yeah. You want to wrap up? Yeah, sure.

I mean, at least you didn't get banned from the Bagel Hut. No. Which RIP. RIP to the Bagel Hut. Yeah. So, wrap up. I guess it's a short. It's almost as normal.

Yeah. Everyone's got COVID, Tom. Yeah, everyone's got COVID. Shit. All right. Do you want to read a joke or do I want to read a joke? Go for it.

Hey, so what's the difference between Bigfoot and Father Judge Brad with a job? I don't know. Well, Bigfoot's been cited. Goddamn it. All right.

Insert the rim shot here. All right. Oh, I fucked up the order here. Any plugs? Subscribe to our Patreon. Yes. We need beer money. Yeah, we need beer money. Listen to Well, There's Your Problem

and listen to Lions Led by Donkeys. Listen to Kill James Bond. Listen to Liam's Led by Donkeys, Lions Led by Liam's. Well, There's Your Problem. If you like actionable threats, the SS Leopold build episode is right off the bat. You can tell

I was not unhappy. He's getting mad. But no, no, you were 100% right. Sometimes it happens. Yeah. And if you don't subscribe to our Patreon, do it. It's only a dollar. Please give us money. We'll be recording more bonus episodes soon. Yeah. And if you don't subscribe to our Patreon, do it. It's only a dollar. Please give us money. We'll be recording more bonus episodes soon.

Soon. And, yeah. I don't know if there's anything else. I don't think so. Go birds. Go birds. And,

bye everybody. Bye. Okay, bye.