Ten Thousand Losses - Mandated Union Naps ft. Justin Roczniak aka donoteat

Episode Date: April 4, 2025

Liam is on his annual break from the podcast mines so shop steward Justin Roczniak of WTYP fame joins Tom to talk about Liberation Day Tariffs, jerkin' it in space, and raw milk.  Find our bonus episodes and Discord at: https://www.patreon.com/tenthousandlosses  Find Rocz at: https://x.com/who_shot_jgr or https://bsky.app/profile/donoteat.bsky.social  Follow us on Bluesky: Podcast: https://bsky.app/profile/10klosses.bsky.social Liam: https://bsky.app/profile/wtyppod.com  Tom: https://bsky.app/profile/tompain.bsky.social Follow us on Twitter: Podcast: https://twitter.com/tenklossespod Liam: https://twitter.com/notliamanders0n Tom: https://twitter.com/tohickontpain  Shoot a message or leave us a voicemail (leave your name and pronouns): 267-371-7218

He is actually going to eject a fan. Bad things happen in Philadelphia, bad things. The fan jumped into the penalty box area. Joy doesn't come to Philadelphia and stand here and dodge ice balls. We, the Dallas Cowboys, head assessment, John Keene. All right, we're recording from the day of liberation. I was about to say, bright future for America. How liberating.

How liberated do you feel right now, Ross? I feel extremely liberated. I think I could do about anything. I could go punch an alligator. I don't know why that's the first thing that comes to mind. Well, because before Trump, you know, that was too woke to punch an alligator. It was too woke to punch an alligator. It was too woke to punch an alligator.

You know, now it's like masculinity is back and we can do things you only saw on the cover of like Men's Life magazines from the 30s. Yeah, exactly. I could fight a kangaroo. I could tame an elephant. I put it in a cage. I could tame, not only tame an elephant, but tame a dame. Oh yeah.

Yeah, I was about to say. We could start doing old timey misogyny, referring to your wife as the old ball and chain, you know. Yeah. Just all the Lockhorn comics, they're just back in fashion. Could do all the Rodney Dangerfield stuff, but without the comedy aspect. Yeah, we forgot to put the part where he was funny. Yeah.

No, this is just a guy who hates his wife. Yeah. No, we don't want timing or like those eyes or anything like that. The self-deprecating humor. No, this is entirely grievances. Yeah. We want Star Trek where the episode Charlie X where the young boy slaps Yeoman Rand on the ass, but Kirk doesn't tell him, young man, you can't do that.

Yeah, no, this is the unworked. There's no right way to hit a woman. I think is what he says. The Unwoke Federation. Well, that was an episode though of like the next generation, right? Well, the mirror universe, right? Yeah, exactly. Where they had the Unwoke Federation. Well, also, they also could just be code of honor, which is the one where the, it's like the second episode of the next generation where they go to the planet that's all African tribes and they fight for, what's the name of Crosby's character? Yasha Tarr. They like, they capture her and they have to like fight for her back because

they're a tribe and they're all they fired the fucking director for casting like for casting only African like black Americans in that role. They were supposed to be aliens and they're like, no, we're going to like do like African tribal. Like, yeah, exactly. I got the plot of this episode out of the back of soldier of fortune magazine. a Sep Sud out of the back of Soldier of Fortune magazine. Actually, from those magazines. Who was, what was, what was the superhero from that weird, like weird fiction era? He was like, he was like, it was Dr. Something. He was like the best guy ever.

I don't know if you've ever read them. Let me look it up real quick. Dr. Yakub. Dr. Pope like fiction, like he was a Pope author. Not, did they, Doc Savage. Doc Savage. Yes, he's a polymath. He's a scientist and he's got like his group of guys who like are also experts, but he's clearly the best. Right.

It's just insane how competent he is. I remember reading one, there's a guy, a bullet whizzes in the room and he's detecting what caliber it is. Who could have had access to this firearm? It's like, all right, man, this is like not enjoyable. It's Lester Dent. If you've never heard of him, weird pulp, pulpy shit. I got into that when I was reading Lovecraft, I wanted to see what other weird shit was going on at the same time. And yeah. And this was in the back of Soldier Fortune magazine.

I mean, it's like those 1930s type of stories that Soldier of Fortune guys think they were. That's true, that's true. Yeah, they think they're that guy on the cover where he's got like the crabs on him and his like shirts coming off and there's like a woman behind them like, oh, please help me. Oh my God. That's what all these soldiers do. Weasels ripped my flesh. Yes, the weasels ripped my God. That's what all these soldiers do. Weasels ripped my flesh. Yes, the weasels ripped my flesh.

Yeah, weasels, weasels ripped my flesh as I tried to liberate Rhodesia. Yeah. But not in the right way. Man. Oh, yeah. We're back. Yeah, Rhodesia guys are back. This is a- I was about to say, Rhodesia guys are back. This is-

I was about to say, Rhodesia is probably coming back in a big way soon. I didn't see Trump announce tariffs against them. Yeah, so Liberation Day is- Oh, Trump declared a national economic emergency because we've been mistreated. I'm reading this as CNN. Claiming the United States has been mistreated by foreign countries that are happy to sell U.S. consumer goods, but put up trade barriers to make American-made goods unattractive and uncompetitive.

If you're if you're trying to bring back factories, wouldn't you try to have them back before you do the tariffs? Yeah, that that is about where I would start from. I mean, considering that the regulatory state's been obliterated, I mean, this is, you know, but all those regulations are still on the books. What we have right now is a situation where everything's going to be much more expensive and no one's going to be able to build anything or do anything here because the paperwork is going to take too long.

And also, you know, it does not look like there's any way for, they can't even deregulate. They, they don't know. They, I know this has been said too many times, but it's like the dog finally catches the car. Yes. What what are we doing? What is your what is your broad economic plan? It doesn't even make sense by their logic. No, because these guys fucking love not having tariffs. They love being able to pay for non-union labor.

Over. That's the whole reason we fucking de-industrialized. Yeah. Yeah. That's why where I grew up in fucking Kensington was like filled with empty abandoned factories where you used to make shit. Yeah. It's kind of like, well, are they going to, you know, again, I don't think you can onshore industry when no one can actually get through a regulatory process that's still on the books, but there's no one working there to do any of the work.

And if I want to build a factory, I have to get the steel and shit from fucking China. And now it's like 25%, 35, 100, whatever it is more expensive. Yeah. And then I have to, you know, I have to get the insurance for it. That's what I'm worried about is like, that's the thing that drove me insane like about a week ago. I was like, oh, because there's still regulations on the book, but no one to enforce them or do anything.

If you're trying to be in good faith and compliance with anything, it's just not going to happen. No one's going to be able to get insurance to do anything. It's going to be impossible to open a business in the United States more complicated than like a daycare. Well, you just have to be a fake church and just declare that, then you can open any daycare you want. I have a fake church with a steel mill attached.

Oh, we'll take good care of your kids. Their hands are very good at getting into the textile machinery. You just have an 11-year-old running one of those huge cranes with the giant vat of molten metal. Oh. Just like you see, you know, there's like videos of like catastrophic failure where there's like the wire machine at the steel factory just starts shooting out. Just starts shooting out.

Yeah. Yeah. It's just, it's just toddlers waddling away with Google hearts on. Yeah. And they have like Elmo stickers on them and stuff like that. Oh, my God. It's the cutest disaster. It's the cute that like their union, but like it's the S is spelled backwards. It's so oh, he almost died.

Elmo says union. Yes. Elmo says Elmo says, oh, yes, I'm here. Elmo says report. Yes, I'm you almost says report Sorry, I'll just take your union mandated break You have the Union juice break There's a playpen just like coming in like like this ah That was really tough today. You know, like. I'm taking, I'm taking my union nap.

Oh my God. They, they, they have like a designated adult that's like going to pat him on the back. It's time for it's story time. You know, um, yeah, I Yeah. I got my- This job site is not supplied enough blocks. You have the toy where they're trying to put the triangle in the triangle, but it all fits in the square, But they block it out because it's like, it's like this is unsafe, right? You have to be able to do, you have

to do it by the book. They have lockout tag out on the play pen and shit. Yes, that would be great. Like when one kid's up on the top of the slide, you have to tag out, tag it out. Don't want a collision at the bottom guys. Exactly. Exactly. We're going to have a mandated cool down period between kids on the slide. Yeah.

Yeah. Because that friction will get there. Yeah. That's where we're headed for that kind of fucking future. Filing workman's comp because the metal slide was too hot Got a splinter from the playground equipment. I'm going to the workman's comp doctor because I have a boo-boo. Yeah, I Can't go back to work until until until mommy has kissed kiss the boo-boo made it better Yeah, Larry. Are we got good insurance. We get free kisses to make it better.

One of like the supervisor is like the five-year-old and he gets like a thing. It's like, oh yeah, well one of the things on the guidelines, all right, he falls down. Just pretend it doesn't hurt. All right, come on. Oh, it looks great. Get back up off. You know, can't react. Don't react when the kids, you know, cause they'll cry. The contract says we can cry for five minutes. You get guys arguing, the kids are arguing like by the radio, like, are we going to, are we going to play, you know, Barney with Sesame Street today. Every day you want to put this Barney on. I want to listen to something else. Yeah, I was about to say, my mom bought me this They Might Be Giants Kids album.

The nerdy kid. Yeah. The sun is a plasma of incandescent plasma. Nerd. Nerd. Yeah. He's, he's, he's, he's, that's one of the engineers. Yeah, I think so.

Yeah. Which technically makes the management. Oh yeah. So he's not union. Unless he's a floor. I don't know. I don't know how that works. We'd have to go to the toddler steel mill and check.

If you work at the toddler steel mill, call in. Call in. Let us know what your job would be at the toddler steel mill. 267-371-7218. Make sure you give us your name and pronouns. No, what I think is really funny is if you're going to not get rid of regulations, right? So, but dismantle the regulatory state. You're going to have people who have like unredressed grievances.

If you can't redress those through legal means, you're going to have what we had, the reason that common law existed, which was to stop guys from posseing up and fucking up the town next door because someone stole someone's fish. Then you're going to go after Luigi with the death penalty. You're just going to make it like, well, for someone who has all these grievances, it's not being redressed and you know you're going to get the death penalty for it. Well, people are just going to be like, all right, fuck it. If I'm going to, if that's the penalty, fuck it.

Like I'm going to just fucking go all out. That's like what this shit encourages. It's definitely like on the business end, you're definitely like encouraging like, okay, the only type of business that's now able to be conducted is scams. No one can conduct business in good faith anymore. No. It's just, we're taking Miami and we're applying that to the entire country.

Yes. Everything is just crypto, water fountains, and just bullshit. Everyone is looking for an up on you. Sorry, you wanted to you wanted to work in a factory. You wanted to do something productive for society. Sorry, the only jobs available now are crypto scammer, DJ, fitness influencer and. Guy, guy who works in a factory where we take shitty

stereos and tape and like hot glue rocks to the inside of them So that they feel heavier so that they sound like you think they're better Yes, yeah, they get that kind of shit. That's what's gonna happen. Yeah did The guy I didn't the guys are still those shits out of the back of their car now fucking run to the country. Yeah, no, it's, you know, the only entry level job left is going to be a guy who steals meats from the grocery store and sells them out of his truck.

Oh, my uncle, I mean, my uncle who used to steal from Wilson. I mean, he's fucking dead. Go, go get him. Like you still feel for my grandma. Just slide him down his pants. He wrapped them in aluminum foil, too, which I think would make more noise. I was about to say, yeah. He's like, well, the scanner won't go off if you take it out with the aluminum foil on.

I was like, is that a Faraday cage? Is that how you think meat works? I think that might work, yeah. Might it work? I don't works? I think that might work, yeah. Might it work? I don't know. I think it might. If there's an RFID on the meat. Hmm.

Maybe, maybe Tom's drunk fucking Philly uncle Kenzo with like three teeth. Maybe he was right after all. He might have been. Yeah. I mean, because you know, what's your other option? Like, I don't know, really fine chicken wire. I mean, for him, he used the box so he could just punch somebody and run. That's a good point. Yeah. Yeah. It's just fucking sock. All right. See you. See you first day. Just running out there. It's fucking just his pants are just like, there's meat just coming out of his pants. There's like meat juice coming out the back, leaving the trail.

Fucking getting into his shitty ass. I forget what car it was, but you had to wait for the seatbelt to slide back over you. Oh, those guys. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. His window was broken, so he had a fucking trash bag taped to it. Hell yeah. Yeah. That's how you get away. No one's going to find you again. But the, man, dude, so here at World Liberation Day, I'm looking at the rapid response account

for the White House and the tariffs. We're talking fucking 46% tariffs on Vietnam, 34% tariffs on China. I like how there's no organization to this. It doesn't make a lot of sense. There's no alphabetization or anything. Let's see, who else do we hate? Myanmar, 44%, Madagascar, 47%. There goes one.

By the way. Do you like vanilla? Well, because there you go. What else do we got on here? Laos, Botswana. Like, we're really, I mean, some countries are only getting 10%, but some of these. 10% seems to be the floor. Where's Morocco?

Where's America's oldest ally? Morocco has 10 percent. Ten percent. All right. So couscous not going up. Well, that's also Algeria. Show my fucking ignorance here. Now, we're on Israel, even. Or no, 17 percent on Israel. 50 percent tariffs on Saint Pierre and Mekinon.

That's going to be bad for the rum running trade. Yeah. Let's see what else, what else have we got here? Looking for the rest of the list. Reunion, Reunion, 37% Norfolk Island, 29%. What the fuck? This is so stupid. This is the dumbest shit.

24% of Japan. Just just not understanding what a trade deficit is. Just I was I was about to say that that's that's all this is, is just here's a really dumb guy. Mm hmm. With a very good, very good brain. I have a very good brain. Yeah, like like no, like we don't trade specie anymore. Like this isn't mercantile, like, he thinks that mercantilism is still in effect, right?

Like oh, you know, we cannot spare Nikon to the French. They're our enemies. We don't want to trade with them. You know, like, what is this? Stupid, stupid. Everything's going to be fucking expensive. Don't worry. trade with them, you know, like, what is this? Stupid, stupid. Everything's gonna be fucking expensive. Don't worry. I'm sure he'll get around to getting rid of income taxes, too. Income tax. But but like in a way that it makes like the guys who do who think like going up an income bracket means you pay more taxes.

I'm sure he thinks that like like they're going to rewrite the tax code to make that real. So that you don't listen, man, I'm just trying to make below forty thousand dollars a year. I don't want any more fucking shifts because I don't want to pay. I want to go up into the next tax. Like, like. Did I ever tell you? I had a, at one point in my career, I was a co-teacher in a classroom. And my co-teacher, who was the math and science teacher, believed that.

Oh my God. This was a math teacher. And I like, listen, I'm a fucking idiot when it comes to math. Like, I can't do arithmetic, but I can do this arithmetic and let me show you how it works. And she didn't believe me. She thought it was like some liberal shit I was coming up with. I was like, this is, you can look it up. This is the fucking tax code.

I'm not lying. What do you want me to do? Why would I? I don't have a special interest in lying to you. I'm a communist. I hate the Democrats too, you idiot. I can't say that. Oh my God.

All right. Well, it's been 20 minutes, so let's do the intro. Hello. Welcome to another episode of 10,000 Laws. It's the only Philadelphia sports podcast that exists. I'm your host, Tom Payne. My pronouns are he, him, and with me is my temporary special guest co-host, Yey.

Yey, Roz. Yay. Pronouns also he, him. I am filling in because Liam is on vacation. Yeah. We're in fact doing a podcast exchange program. Yeah. I'm like an officer on loan.

Like the British guy in, what's it called, in Dr. Strangelove. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. Or actually, actually, I like Riker on the on the Klingon ship. When he's on the officer exchange program and he had he like has to headbutt the fucking guy to like prove he's the. Yeah, yeah, let's. You would figure the officer exchange program would be like. I haven't seen that episode.

I hope there was like some cultural education before program would be like, I haven't seen that episode. I hope there was like some cultural education before they sent him over, you know? No, they just told them like on the, it's called a matter of honor. It's actually a decent episode. It's a season, was a season two episode. I'm not the biggest Will Riker guy,

but he's, the Klingon officer too is quite fun. So yeah. Yeah. Do you think they participate in the officer exchange program just to fuck with people? They get a real kick out of it. There's another guy who's got like a weird breath thing over his face. Like he has to breathe special air that pops out like every couple seconds. So, we have that too.

He's like a fish guy. He has to stay moisturized I guess. Half remembered Star Trek lore here. It's going to be a podcast about Star Trek where we don't watch Star Trek. Yeah, honestly, that would probably be better than actually being informed. Did you know that the Tarva left in the original series actually reflects the movement throughout the enterprise? Wow.

Yeah, great. Thank you. It does. It's kind of cool, but fuck you. And that's on our outline. series actually reflects the movement throughout the enterprise. Wow. Yeah. Great. Thank you. It does. It's kind of cool, but fuck you. And that's on our outline. Fuck you.

Announcements. No announcements. We got to record a bonus. We're already behind the bonus for March. Sorry. It just... Dude, I don't know. I didn't know Liam was going on vacation this week until he told me last week.

And I didn't have time to schedule bonus. I think Roz, you're going to be on one of them. We got like three different bone eye to schedule. So we'll get there. We'll get there. We're like the old SEPTA motto. We're getting there. Yes.

So yeah, voicemail calling 267-371-7218. Give us your name and pronouns. And patreon.com slash 10,000 losses where you get all of our other bonus episodes where Roz was on. I think we talked about making baseball better by making it worse. Yes. And you can do that. You also get access to our Discord, which I don't think you are on our Discord, Roz. Am I not on?

You should add me to the Discord. I can add you. I can add you in the OG, at the OG tier. Which is, it's a lot of random bullshit. Although Jordan does, from Brigham Young does post there sometimes. Oh. Yeah. So we do have some famous people.

All right. Let's talk, let's talk, speaking of Jordan, he also does sports podcasts. Let's talk about sports of Jordan, he also does sports podcast. Let's talk about sports. The Phillies. I was I was excited for opening day, but I didn't actually watch the game because we were recording another podcast then your eight hour Catholicism episode. Yeah, exactly.

Liam was providing updates throughout the whole thing. I understand we won. Did he include anything that I had typed up like two years ago where there was a slide that had Bishop Brennan from Father Ted? Was that anywhere in there? No, that was not in there. We did have a Father Ted opening slide though. Very good. Very good. That would be an ecumenical matter. It's a great show.

Just death of the author. My understanding is Mr. Linehan didn't have a huge amount of creative input. It was mostly Arthur Matthews. Yeah. Yeah. Also, he wasn't insane yet. That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Also, he wasn't insane yet. That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, Phillies, we have baseball.

Phillies are 3-1 as time recording. I think they're going to play tonight, but I don't know if there's going to be a rain delay or not. Let's take a look. I think it's a seven o'clock start. Oh, no. It's supposed to start in 10 minutes against the Rockies. But the Phillies so far have looked good. We get lots of home runs. I mean, we'll be up on the Nats. Won that series. I mean, the Rockies suck. You know, we'll see. We'll see. We'll see how we do against a real team. I think we played Dodgers after this series. So that'll be fun. I got to actually get out to a game year, because I haven't in so long. Yes, you do. Yeah, we'll have to do that in the summer. Yeah.

I'm trying to remember. Oh, that was football we went to, right? Yes. We went to the temple game. Yeah. We went to the temple game. That was fun. Yeah. Yeah. The day the day that the day that we lost you in.

Xfinity Live and then Liam flushed the toilet and exploded on the guy behind him. You remember this? I I don't remember that bit. Yeah. And I've we've said this on the spot before, but just Liam flushes the urinal. He turns around and this guy's already got his like dick out, to like piss and it just splat, like erupts and splashes all over his, all over his dick. One of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life, I was laughing so hard, there was like three other guys who saw it, they were laughing very hard. I don't know what like toilets not working right is very funny to me. Like

if you, if you like rigged the toilet that if I flushed it and it just shot out, I would just I would laugh constantly. Like it would be the funniest thing in the world to me. I feel like for some reason, this is a necessary part of the sporting experience. If you go out to a play, even like Xfinity Live, it's like, yeah, the bathrooms have to be kind of shitty. They have to be they might do something weird. Yeah, it's people shitting in the sink. People, people fucking smoking weed in there.

Pissing on the floor. Pissing on the floor. Falling, falling asleep in the trough. I've seen that. Oh, yeah. There you go. Yeah. I think that was a Frankfurt hall. I saw someone fall asleep in the trough. That also sounds about right. That's so gross. That's so gross. That is an unfortunate mistake.

Yeah, that's a, you know what? You know what piss washes off? Your skin, not your clothes. Yes. Thank God for skin. But yeah, no, fillies, fillies look good. You know, some of the hitting better than we thought. Have you noted, have you seen the torpedo bats?

I have heard of them. I have not seen them. All right. Let me, let me find you a picture. So I want to know what you think about these. They are, they are technically legal, but the Yankees hit a shitload of harm runs with them. Here's an article in the chat that has a link if you scroll down to the second picture. So, they sort of taper towards the end.

Yes. Instead of being like there's a taper and then there's no more taper. It gets it gets thick at the middle, like the towards the end and then tapers back down. And it's completely legal. Does this like reduce the weight of the bat? Does it like it? It puts more meat at the sweet spot. I see. Yeah. So like I get I get a torpedo bat, I can hit harder.

If you, yeah, so you don't have to, your sweet spot is a little more condensed. So you, yeah, you hit harder if you get it on the sweet spot. Huh. And that little bit of extra juice in the hands of a, you know, guys with amazing hand-eye coordination would would, you know, in theory. I mean, the Yankees fucking raked. They hit 15 run home runs in their first three games. Damn. Yeah. Now we're playing the Brewers, but the Brewers are a horrible team. As about to say, well, I mean, you know, if it works, it works.

And if it's legal, it's legal. I guess, you know, I know it'd be difficult for a major league baseball team to afford, but they may also have to buy those bats. Yeah, they're pretty based on how much a beer costs at Citizens Bank Park. I mean, they might be in pretty bad ways, especially now with the tariffs. Yeah, I was about to say, where are the bats paid? Yeah.

Um, where I can't wait for the beers to be $25 because the aluminum is 10 of that. I was about to say, yeah, they got a canned tariff now too. Yeah. And that was Trump's first term. I know some people in the brewing industry, they got a can tariff now too. Yeah. And that was, that was Trump's, Trump's first term. I know some people in the brewing industry and they got fucked by that. And they were like, Oh, I voted for him, but, uh, so yeah, you fucking dumb ass. What'd you think? What'd you think was going to happen?

What do you think was going to happen? You idiot. As someone I know is good enough. $300 for a Labatt. Yeah. Oh man. Oh man. Steel fucking softball bats. They're going to be $500 now.

Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Bats that are called like nuke or hot butter or, you know, I don't know, tank shot, whatever. Stupid softball bats. But yeah, so we'll see what happens. How much the Phillies are going to cost? I mean, is a Japanese player going to be more expensive? Yeah, I was about to say, are you going to have to put a tariff on that? I mean, we're going to have to go back to like an all-American domestically made sport. You know, everything's made of plastic.

That's the right folks. We're doing professional kickball. There we go. Yeah. We're getting a big rubber ball that makes the satisfying like ping pong. Yeah. And we're going pro with it. We're going pro.

I'm sure there is like kickball league though. I'm sure regulation kickball. There has to be. Listen, we there must be. Yeah. Call in 267-371-7218. Let it tell us know. Wilkie, you know about Obscura Weird Sports.

Call in and tell me about fucking professional kickball. Yeah. I know there's a there's guys trying to make professional ultimate frisbee. They call it ultimate. But because it because frisbee is trademarked. You just throw the frisbee back and forth until it lands on a roof. How is that competitive? I don't know. I mean, I guess you get real good at throwing it.

I guess so, yeah. The guy who throws it on the roof the most. Oh, you missed the roof the most. Oh, you missed the roof. You fucking loser. What's the highest roof you could throw it onto? Now, I would watch that. You know, this guy can fucking get it on the roof of City Hall. Yeah. Like you would watch that. I just someone in like the courtyard of Philadelphia City Hall

just gets thunked in the head with this comes down the other side. You have to throw it. You're just giving a press conference. Hall just gets thunked in the head with it as it comes down the other side. You have to throw it. You're just giving a press conference. It just gets domed. You got to throw it in both the highest and most inconvenient spot. Yeah. With a frisbee that has some guy, like it's some fucking the name, like that his name's on it is like gamer name or whatever Yeah

Yeah, you just got dunked in the head by like I don't know frisboy What would your what would your ultimate frisbee name be 267 371 7218 Frisboy 420 420 69 xxx. Yeah. Yes 420. 420, 69, XXX. Yes. All right. So let's go over to the Eagles because there has been some discussion that I'm trying to ban the Toshibushi aka Bradley Shove.

And it's some real dumb shit talking about, yeah, we don't have like, it's dangerous. We don't have like the science behind it, but we're pretty sure it's dangerous. It's like, what sport do you play? Yes, I've seen some of the discussion on this and it doesn't make a lick of sense. You know, it's kind of like, OK, this is a sport about guys crashing into each other. I mean, this is probably one of the less crash into each other aspects of it, to be honest. probably one of the less crash into each other aspects of it, to be honest. I mean, as long as we're just going by, you know, reckoning because we haven't got,

you know, we haven't got the National Highway Transportation Safety Board to, you know, test it out yet. You know, this is it's all vibes. It's just like, damn, the Eagles went too much, so we should ban the thing that works for them. Like, dude, get a quarterback to squat 600 pounds. Yeah. I mean, really, that's what you need. How hard can it be?

I love how they, meanwhile, at the same time, they modified the kickoff again, so that if you get a touchback, it's 35 yards. The reason is to encourage people running it out more, which is the entire reason you change the rules of the kickoff so that they wouldn't be running it out more, so you wouldn't get players hurt as often. There's no actual logic here. There's no logic here. There's no sort of, there's no science.

There's no football scientists down there in the lab with a simulated quarterback that's painted up like a crash test dummy trying to figure this out You know and they're wearing they're wearing the pads and the helmet but with a doc like a lab coat over it the lab coat over it Yeah They got they got a bunch of beakers full of pure liquid football It's just different flavors of Gatorade behind them. Yes. Here at NFL Labs, and they have iBlack one as well. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's a good bit. So, they tabled it. They tabled the vote, which for the British listener, that means in American parlance means they're going to vote on it later. They're going to push back

the discussion. I believe in British parlance, what that means, they're going to bring it up to attention. Isn't that how that works? I think that's how that works, yeah. Marshall Yeah. Yeah. Let us know. There's a, you know, I don't think we've gotten the British caller. I'm not sure. Stan That country's decayed so much, they don't have telephones anymore. We'll be there soon. Yeah. Yeah. They, they, they're, what's really big there is the, the, the Heinz Beans with a Z. They're now replacing the telephone with a string. Cannon string is really back. Oh yeah. You know, it's very energy efficient.

It is. And what's great is if you tie everyone's houses together, it's like one big party line. The call is coming from inside the house. Oy, get off me beans. All right. By the way, if anyone knows where I can get spotted dick, please call in 267-371-7218 or comment on the Discord. I've been craving Spotted Dick. Have you ever had Spotted Dick, Roz?

I have not had Spotted Dick. It's quite good. I feel like I've heard of this before. It is good. Or it's also known as Spotted Dog or Drowned Baby, apparently, historically. Oh my God. Yeah. All right. Let's see.

It's just got very dark and ominous. Are we supposed to get a storm today? Good question. Oh yeah. It does look like one is moving in. There we go. Let's see where we got. What we got next.

Took is push. Jorick's in pro far going back to baseball for a minute. 80 day PED ban. Oh, he voted positive for. Chorionic gonadotropin. So I assume that's come. I I don't know what else gonadotrophin could be. I mean, that sounds a lot like it.

Chemical name for cum. It's organic chemistry right there. It helps produce testosterone, man. Like that sounds immediately. He's barred immediately and barred postseason. I can't believe they kicked him off for doing hormone replacement therapy. This is what happens when MLB gets rid of its DEI. Exactly.

Exactly. The trans panic has gone too far. I mean, honestly, gender affirming goes for everybody. You don't have to be transitioning. Exactly. Legalized steroids for everybody. That's an unironic take. That's literally an unironic take of mine. Legalized steroids for everybody. You should be able to get them through a doctor. I mean, yeah, exactly. It's like, okay, I have body dysmorphia. I want to be much larger. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I would like to be able to – I've lost a bunch of weight. I'm like down 50 pounds since last year, but I would like to have my bench back. I would

like to not have to feel weak benching 160 pounds. Right. Yeah. bench back. I would like to not have to feel weak benching 160 pounds. Right. Yeah. I would like to have my bench back, please. That would help. But I would love for an MLB player to actually just straight up say, you know what? I fucking was trying to like, you know, I was taking this to help my game, man. It's competitive. We're always trying to do better and I just wanted to do better. Instead, he's like, you know, I was taking this to help my game, man. It's competitive. We're always trying to do better. And I just wanted to do better.

Instead, he's like, it's the most difficult day of my career. I would never knowingly cheat. It's painful because anyone who knows me knows I'm very passionate about the game. I'm sure you are just like I fucking. Yeah, I fucking love being good at baseball. I want to be better everybody else. I'm on the Braves and I'm an asshole. So yeah. Just come out and say it. Come on.

You're already 80 days banned. They're not going to ban you more. Like, oh, well, he didn't say he was, you know, not trying to cheat. So, I fell on the needle accidentally at the doctor's office. I fell on the cover needle. Several times. At the gender clinic. Yeah. I went to the gender clinic with my friend and I accidentally took the pills. No, I was actually trying to get estrogen because I wanted it to make it harder for me.

I wanted to be, I wanted to play baseball in hard mode. This, what, what a, like, all right, whatever. I mean, are you ever shocked when someone when when someone gets tested like like like pops a test in sports for performance and I'm never shocked. It doesn't surprise me at all. As they say in NASCAR, you ain't cheating, you ain't trying. Yeah, right. It's just not getting caught. Yeah, exactly. You know, it's it's't trying. Yeah, right. It's just not getting caught. Yeah, exactly.

It's a game of deception ultimately. Yeah. Don't be a dumbass. Don't be like fucking, what's his name? Tateez Jr. Fucking failing a test. Then while you're out, break your fucking hand riding a motorcycle even though that's also against your fucking contract. Dumbass. Yeah, I'm suspended because I tried to cheat. Let me

ride a motorcycle. Yeah. Break my fucking hand. The one thing you need in baseball. Yeah. Literally. Yeah. You just need a hand. You're got to ruin your career in surgery as well. You'll even need all your fingers. Yeah, there's a what was it? What was it? Was it Mordecai Brown was a nasty pitcher with three fingers? I mean, imagine the fucking crazy. Yeah, they also call them three finger brown. He threw an insanely nasty knuckle curve because of his because of the way his hands were mangled.

Well, yeah, I mean, exactly, you only need to use three fingers. You don't have to expend all the effort. You only really need to the throw ball. That's a good point. Yeah. Baseball, anyway. Let's see what else we got. The Sixers have been eliminated from the playoffs, so I guess that's good for thanking. I don't I have you watch the six.

Do you are you even in the basketball that much? I don't watch too much basketball. I watch it if I'm over at Liam's and it's on. Yeah, I I typically would watch like maybe. Up until this year, I'd watch probably half the games. I don't I don't. I watched two games this year. I don't give a shit. Yeah, the only thing I do with the six years is get mad at them I don't, I don't, I watched two games this year. I don't give a shit. Yeah.

I, the only thing I do with the six years is get mad at them for various municipal reasons. Yeah. Well, last time we had you on was a, and they just, yeah, they just fucking suck. I wonder, are they tanking the, to, cause Josh Harris is mad. He didn't get the, the deal he wanted. Um, well, I guess he did get the deal he wanted cause they're staying, but. Yeah, exactly. They're just staying in South Philly. Yeah. Oh man. Let me put the Phillies. I'm not going to put the game on. I should put some

torrents on to really keep it true to Liam being on recording. And the flyers, they're non-existent, right? They suck too. Yeah, I was about to say that, but that's a historical, what's the word? Collapse? Not a, like a historical inevitability. Oh, that the sixers are just going to be bad? Yeah. All right. Yeah. Or the flyers are just going to be bad? Yeah.

All right. Yeah. Or the Flyers, excuse me. That's what I was thinking. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Flyers. I'm sorry. Yeah.

Yeah. Flyers are 23 and 53. Somewhere up there, God said that 76ers are the ones that asked and just said, fuck them. Yeah. Well, as long as we're good at football and baseball, I'm fine. The sports that matter. Yes, exactly. The two American sports.

Well, I guess basketball is American too. Yeah. Hockey, that's for Canadians. That's for Canadians. That's going to be expensive too. Who will soon become Americans. That's going to be expensive too. That's going to be really expensive to go to a hockey game. Yeah.

I did get three tickets for $17 through my union. So, I mean, that's how bad. They were like $80 for cheap tickets if you bought them through the scene like not that long ago. They're probably cheaper now, but yeah, this is before they just like collapsed. All right, we've got 45. All right. We don't have a ton of listener messages today. So let's listen. Well, I'll read. There's no voicemail. All I've got loaded up are like the riffs and shit. So I mean, have you heard this one? E-L-G-S-E-S-Eagles! I'm sure you have. My dad made a joke to me about that and I had no idea what he was talking about.

Oh, really? You hadn't seen that one? I had not. I had not actually heard it. I only became aware of it after the fact. Oh, that's funny. That's funny. Yeah. No, that was, I was actually playing in my classroom several times a day because I was laughing so much at it and the kids are like, yo, what is this? They thought it was stupid funny too. So it was like, no, my dad was like, well, I heard your mare can't spell. And I was like, what? What happened?

I, I hate her for a lot of reasons, but like. Yeah, we were getting cooked in like, there's a Reddit called NFC East Me More, and we were getting cooked that day. Look, you don't have to spell to win the Super Bowl. You don't have to be able to drive to be a mayor. That's true. Yeah. Or drive, well, at least drive sober.

Driving sober, yeah. I mean, I don't know, I'm the first mayor to legalize drunk driving, hopefully. Well, you know, that's going to be legal now too, I think with the Trump, like we're going to have, you know, Pete Hegseth is going to make sure that we don't have to have breathalyzers on tanks anymore. That was about to say, I'll be legal to drunk drive, but only in military. Yeah, only only in any military vehicle. Yeah. We are.

Just like the rum ration. Yeah, exactly. We're bringing back the rum ration. You're going to be able to go up, go up in the airplane with the hip flask. You know, it will will just like the cosmonauts on Mir. They'll they'll send the astronauts up to the International Space Station with bourbon rations. That was you know, that they would like, in the heyday of like when we were fucking country and we actually gave a shit, they would have given them like, it would be like in a Ziploc sealed bag but it would be actual, it would be like barrel proof fucking, it would be Jack Daniels. It would be like a big, but it would be like their best shit.

Yes. Because they'd be like, well, when, but it would be like their best shit. Yes. Because they'd be like, well, when we come, we're going to send whiskey to the astronauts, we're not going to send them like the 40, like we're not going to send them to 80 proof. We're sending them barrel proof. Oh yeah. Like they're astronauts. Like they get our best because we're proud of them. This was apparently a big complaint when the International Space Station from the Russians

is that the International Space Station is dry. That's a big, you know, like that, that I don't drink that much anymore, but I do like to have like, like once or twice a week, a little sip of something, you know, it's a It's like, okay, what are you going to do up there? You know, you're not doing experiments all the time. Right. Right. There's that one time that we think they had sex when they sent the married couple up. Have you heard about that one? I have not heard about that one. STS, no wait, married. I misspelled married. STS 47. So, it was in 92.

Huh. Yeah. I thought that was something that hadn't happened yet, but apparently it has. First married couple. Yeah, so maybe they tried fucking in space. They used that little shower thing. Yeah, I mean, if they didn't, that would be appalling. You would pass up that opportunity.

I mean, let's be real here. I mean, people are jacketed in space, right? Like, absolutely. And are you familiar with the Apollo seven poop incident? Yes. All right. I mean, it's a turd floating around the cabin. Yeah. Yeah. They're like, I want a minus. My little stickier.

So have we had a, is there like a part of the space station where there's just cum drops floating around? Oh my God. You're the guy who wipes down the loads in the space station. Oh man. That's a predecessor to the guy who cleans the holodeck, going back to Star Trek. At least they had gravity. You gotta imagine if it's just floating around, it's like hitting you in the face and stuff.

He's got a little vacuum. Yeah, you'd have to, right? I wonder, like, all right, the protocol is, all right, we don't say this, you know, this isn't for public consumption, but we have a little like to, we could just take care of that in there, you know. Yeah, this is the, it goes, it vents directly to space. There's, you wake up like one morning, there's like a satellite, like knocking on the window of the copula and the satellite's pregnant.

Oh, God. You gotta, you gotta, if you're jacking it in space, you're floating around. That's the pod title, by the way. You would have to be holding on to something with your other hand to keep you in position. You gotta get Velcroed in. I think you might have to. Yeah. I and then you need like one of those special like laptops they have to watch pornographic material on.

But the connection is going to be very slow. So DVDs up. I would hope so, because because otherwise it's gonna be like the 90s. You're gonna be waiting, you know 15 minutes for a jpeg to load and where's the server? Where's it like it's where's it routing through like god damn it It's thinks I'm in fucking, Virginia Yeah God damn it I gotta get a VPN. Yeah. God damn it. Wow. International Space Station sponsored by NordVPN.

Yeah. International sex station. Wow. Well, that might be the episode title. Well, you'd have to, I mean, you know, zero G sex tourism could be a big thing, but we got to figure out the the basics first, I think. I mean, I think you'd be flying off. You would one thrust and.

Oh, yeah, you just together. Yeah, that's not going to work. Yeah, that's all it's all BDSM up there, I guess. Yeah, that's all it's all BDSM up there, I guess. Oh, sorry. We're going to be tied together. It doesn't work otherwise. They only send kinksters up. We have the world.

Yeah, the world's first munch is on the ISS. Oh my God. What the fuck? It always comes to come every time we have you on. Oh God. Oh God, that's all right. Let's see. All right. We're, that's the one, that's the one location though.

There, the one location that's not affected by Trump's tariffs. Space. Where no man has come before. Yeah. So at least you won't have to pay a duty on it. Yeah. We get a cum tax. If you come across borders.

Oh, that'll be next. You just have someone jacket it in the woods in the Canada US border and just like making sure you paid your fucking tariff. All right. Let's go to some listener feedback. We got one DM from frequent very long DMer. We tease her about this. It's okay. Roisin.

So, hey Tom, yay Liam. Wrong. Liam's out here. It's Ross. Roisin again, it's opening day and the Guardians like the Phillies want it in 10. Kyle Manzardo had four Ribbies, a two-run bottom that splashed in the Coffin Stadium fountain and a two-Ribbie double in the 10th after the rules made a dumb decision to intentionally walk out the easier out in Carlos Santana to get him. Hunter Gaddis was aided out of the eighth inning jam by a bonkers of a play by way of a goofy ass

double rundown. Only for Emmanuel Classe to show up in the ninth and postseason for him to blow the save and force the Guardians three to 10, freshly extended ace Turner Bibby was supposed to make the opening game start but fortunately he took a swig of Bryce Harper's raw milk the other night so he was scratched with tummy hurt and fevered Ben Lively who had an otherwise solid outing despite Vinnie Pitt, I always said Piss Quintino, past Quintino, so you're on her run a time of writing that Guardians are Tied for First and A.L. Central. I was thinking the other day, I had like this weird like, I was like falling asleep and I was thinking like, what if Bryce Harper shits his pants, like when slides in the home because the raw milk.

This is what we should have been talking about today is the raw milk crisis in Major League Baseball. I mean, yeah, we can talk about it a little bit. So I was thinking of like what the tweets would be if like he got up after his slide and there was a little brown on his pants. And then I in my mind, I imagined like the tweet of him, like imagine his face sliding in the home. And then it just says like my face when my raw milk betrays me.

And I was just like, I was laughing at like, as I was falling asleep thinking about this. I think Major League Baseball, I mean, if these trends continue, they are going to have to adopt brown pants as part of the uniform. Every single team. So the Padres are safe. Yeah. Everyone else though. There's going to have to be like if someone if there is like a like a like a fucking neuro

virus breakout, they're going to have Listeria breakout. They're going to be like no raw milk during the season. Sorry, guys. They have to cancel the season. You can't ride a motorcycle. Sorry. Everyone drank too much raw milk. No more baseball. Yeah. We don't, we don't need the baseball rubbing mud anymore. We just use, the poop. Just use the poop. Just use the poop. Yeah. No, I'm looking forward.

That makes me wonder, has anyone, someone has to have shit their pants, like sliding in the home or something like that. Like dirt. Yeah, that must have happened. Yeah. I guess it blends in with the dirt though. Yeah. I mean, maybe not at the professional level, but it definitely has happened.

There's no way. Maybe they're all wearing adult diapers. Well, I guess the sliding pants are kind of, they're kind of like compression. So they kind of might hold shit in. I guess that would make sense, yeah. I could have used some of those when I was in Ireland. But, yeah, no. Oh, sorry. Let's get back to Roisin's

DM before we forget. We actually put a butt plug as part of the uniform. What happens if you get the pressure and he just shoots out? Just tears through the pants? Bryce Harper would definitely, it would be classy. It would be like, it would be a fanatic butt plug, right? What, it goes right in the fanatic's nose? Oh my God. Or snoot or whatever he has.

Yeah, the little tongue thing. I gotta say, every time now, so I took a video of the fanatic shooting the hot dog gun and it is so phallic. I caught a picture right as the moment as the hot dog is leaving the orifice. It is so fucking, it looks like he's coming. It's so fucking stupid. Why does it have to be a hot dog with like a tapered end, like a round dome? And it looks like a fucking urethra.

It's just. I guess that's half the fun, right? Yeah. Yeah, I will say if you're if you're shooting out hot dogs, you should talk to a doctor. Yeah. If you're shooting hot dogs for more than four hours. All right. What was left in the voicemail? Something about the White Sox, Cavs beat the Spurs. Their mini skit is now over anyway. Go Cards, go Guards, go Cavs, go Fields, go Birds. I don't know. Fuck the White Sox, I guess, even though this is maybe like one of the 40 wins. I'll get this year and fuck Penn State. And then Rasheen, she also shared in the thing that the Cleveland Browns owner, Jimmy Haslam said the team's going to plan B of renovating the current stadium if the state doesn't approve 600 million

for the Brook Park Dome. So They might have to stay at their beautiful lakefront location and just revamp their current stadium. How horrible. What a horrible thing. Unfortunate that Cleveland will have to keep their beautiful stadium. Yeah. We will have rise on for a bonus to talk about how this uniquely does not work ever financially for a town to give tax breaks for stadiums. It just doesn't work. It's stupid. It's a very bad idea.

Yeah. I think a lot of politicians overestimate the effect of angry sports fans on politics. Yeah. And also the other thing too is, is I think that it is played out now and I think cities are going to just say, fuck you. That's hope so. Yeah. Cause that's what, that's what Cleveland's doing. Cleveland's telling you fuck you, you got money pay up,

but if you want to do it fucking pay for it yourself. Yeah. If we're in a situation where a city is historically desperate as Cleveland is saying, fuck you. I think we're in a good spot. Yeah. Urbanism is back apparently. All right. We don't have any voicemails today. I want to give a shout out to North Catholic tier patrons, Patrick, Sean, Mike, Kate, Charlie, Luke, Kyle, Chucklebird, Kat, and new, new 700 level patrons as of time of recording. So, give some plugs. VoiceBail, 267-371-7218.

Give us your name and pronouns. DM us and follow us. I'm just doing BlueSky now. So, I'm Tom Payne at BlueSkysocial. What are you on bluesky? I'm do not eat at bluesky.social. All right. Awesome. And I'll put the Twitter, I'll put all those shits in the fucking show notes. It is really annoying having like, like, I know you try it sometimes to dual post. Yeah.

And then sometimes you're like, I word it better on the other one. And then it's like, I don't know. Yeah, I like the blue sky better. I just I find that the engagement's better, you know. Yeah, I think blue sky needs to be able to I need to be able to like switch accounts so I can like, quote, tweet shit from from the from the podcast account. Oh, you can do that. It won't go back. I haven't had the ability to do that.

You can switch accounts, but like hit quote tweet, and then like, then you could like, like select which account to quote tweet it from. That's the one thing that I really want. And it should probably have two factor authentication. Like that would probably be nice. That would probably be good. Asa group chats. Yeah. Oh yeah.

That would be nice as well. We're still coordinating all this fucking shit over on Twitter. Patreon.com has 10,000 losses where you can get access to the Jog Crux Missing Testicle, which is our Discord server, where you can see. Of the most unhinged versions of all of our listeners. And we got other podcasts that we're friends with. One of those I think you're familiar with, it's called WTYP. Well, there I may or may not,

I may be returning as a fourth time guest, I think. That may in fact happen. Yeah. For similar reasons as to why I am here today. Because, yeah, someone's real tired of working in the podcast mind, real tired of the emotional labor of being a fucking social worker. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Wow. Unbelievable. You would take some time for yourself.

Fucking bizarre. The goddamn trail of the industry, the goddamn child's engineering union protects them. Tie back that back to the- I'm taking my union nap. Taking my union nap. We got also, we have Brigham Young Money, Trash Future, Beyond the Breakers, Ready Free Tote Bag, No Guides, No Mayors, Kill James Bond, Hell of a Way to Dad, Tipping Pitches,

Sicko's Committee, Self-Worrest Championship, and Bust, and Batting Around. Those are our friends. Go listen to them too. Do you got anything to say before we leave? Go Phillies. Yeah. Hold on. Go Phillies. All right, everybody. All right.

Bye. Bye, everyone.