Ten Thousand Losses - The Berchtesgaden of Sweet Treats

Episode Date: February 17, 2026

Jordan from Brigham Young Money fills in for Liam (out, cavorting with goats) and do godawful accents, discuss theology, the sickness at the root of Utah, cast aspersions upon Drake Maye, and reveal the real reason why Zach Wheeler had his rib removed. Audio from the George Foreskill Grill taken from Red Letter Media: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaOsX-vwKLw  Find our bonus episodes and Discord at: https://www.patreon.com/tenthousandlosses  Follow us on Bluesky:  Podcast: https://bsky.app/profile/10klosses.bsky.social Liam: https://bsky.app/profile/wtyppod.com  Tom: https://bsky.app/profile/tompain.bsky.social Shoot a message or leave us a voicemail (leave your name and pronouns): 267-371-7218

He is actually going to eject a fan. Because bad things happen in Philadelphia, bad things. Joy it is to come to Philadelphia and stand here at Dodge Ice Ball. Dallas Town Warriors. Head of Sets, Mike, John Cooney. Live. Yeah. So, yeah, you're saying your Star Trek rewatch with Jason Statham is about.

I think it'd be great if he was like Captain Picard. He's like, oh, number one, all power to the forward of political. to shields also I'm going to take my shirt off. Yeah, Worf is like, Captain, I think we should raise shields and fire on the enemy. And he's like, all right, all right. I think we should do it. All right, fucking hell.

Yeah, just fucking, you know, Star Trek, the British generation or some dumb shit like that. Mr. Lassad, prepare to go into hyperspace. Yeah. It's going to be great. Fucking do it. Do it. I don't know. Jason Stadham feels like he'd be better as like a Scotty role just like just because of the accent but also

He's fucking he's the real shady guy he might be better as like a deep space nine character where you can have like a shady guy Yeah like your senior enlisted type of guy yeah he doesn't have the uh I don't say like I don't think he has like the class to be an officer on like a ship but he could be like the he could be like the the e9 type uh Senior enlisted guy. He could be the weapons officer, a tactical officer. He could be. Cap, can't, huh? Give me, kill by accent. Captain, these motherfuckers.

See, I can't, I can't hold the accent too long. Fuck it up. Captain. We got the full phone to be those ready to go. Let it send. Let us send away team. I got 15 goals. Down there in the bags.

We'll fucking take care of it. I can't. I can't. I can't. I don't know that accent. It's Sean, don't worry about it. Um, it's great.

Yeah. Oh, I'm great. We're great at accents. So, we're good at it. We're definitely not just offending people listening. No.

We're like Sean Connery and the untouchables. Just a spotless accent that no one would ever find offensive. So, so, so, so friends of the show, um, Garrett Dennis.

Um, lovely man. when I met him the first time, we were at Yards Brewery. And after a couple of pints, I just started, Oh, all right day, so Sean. And he recoiled as if, as if I had done some terrible, terrible offense.

And he's such a night. And you know, like, he's your classic English. He looks like he could be a group captain in like a World War II film. Like, he's a classic Englishman. So he's not going to be very like, what the fuck's wrong with you? Like he's got some demeanor about him. And he could just, he lay his guard down for a second. And he didn't say anything.

It's like, oh, I'm so sorry, Gareth. I'm just a little sorry about that. The Irish one is the only one I can really do without like dropping out of it. It's, I don't know. The British one's always been hard to me. Yeah. The British one's always difficult because, like, I guess

like it's just been poisoned by media in America that like whatever we don't really differentiate British accents like everything from the scale from Cockney to Wales is just like just combined together like a sack of potatoes and just hit with a stick

a bunch of times. Yeah, that's England. Yeah, that's all the fucking same place. Yeah, it's all the same. Scotland, England, Wales, Ireland. It's all the same. Yeah, Ireland. It's definitely the same as England. That's not going to get us killed. No, no, definitely not. They're really, they're really good about that. Well, it's funny. It's funny. The Irish, so like the Irish accent, I do that. And if I keep a tone down a little bit, I can actually pass for it when I talk to Irish people.

And, like, it's very, very low-key. It's like, I've been to the States for 20 years, you know, how it is. And I've had people tell me that I sound like it's from like Tala, which is like the, I don't know if that's true or not, but that's like a shitty suburb of Dublin. I was like, oh, so it's like the Kensington of Dublin. Awesome. Yeah, it's a fucking shit. Yeah, what's up? Fucking Schittsburg, because they have a bunch of fucking crazy accents, too.

The Kerry accent. I can understand all. I've only run in the one Irishman I could understand. That was like my first trip to the country. I can understand them now. My wife has no. Ooh. And there was one, in Scotland, there was one glass week in.

security guard I couldn't understand but he might also be drunk the rest of the hell you say yeah the rest of them I couldn't understand but yeah it's it is there is a I mean yeah it's fucking any place is a wide range of accents but I know well except in Utah

you guys don't have an accent no we don't have an accent we just have a just emerging of like 15 different accents of Europe that just like you know manifest itself here which now means no one here can say mountain or library or fork correctly.

It's like the general American accent, like, leveled up in Utah. And now it's just going off in other directions. So, yeah, so many people are you. Not as bad as Idaho, though. I think I've talked to you about that. That Idaho accent is the absolute worst American accent. It is.

Like, the only way I can really, like, describe, like, Utah and Idaho accents is, like, it sounds like when Liam Neeson tries to be an American. That's not bad. That's a bad. Hello there. It's good to be here. And so you can just hear that little bit of Irishness and a little bit of Scottish. Like it's all that merged together and like a blender with like some like Scandinavian details.

And it just became this like weird sort of like sub language of everything else. Linguistics on Utah is fascinating. I'm going to have to do that because linguistics is a little little pet hobby of mine. But the, uh, I think I've told you. the when I was Italy and there was the family from Utah or not Utah from Idaho yeah yeah yeah how's Bryce Harper working for you I don't know man you only even have a fucking team like I don't know how's you don't abide Seattle you don't abide seattle yeah oh and and all of it's all of our favorite players it's mainly Bryce Harper and is that a triple because you used to have what the the

the bees yeah it's not like has the bees now that still which is the triple a team for the angels which means no one cares about it. at them. Yeah. But Boise had like a double A team. I'm not sure if they still do or not. They might have gotten independent after they, uh,

after the league reform. Yeah. You guys used to have, there used to be a ton of teams out west for all the like rookie, rookie advance. Yeah, there used to be like two within like 40 miles of here too. We used to have like the Orim Owls,

which is just like 40 minutes south of Salt Lake. You used to have the Ogden rappers, which goes all the way back to like 19, something. And like it was a like a, a rookie team for like the Dodgers. Hmm. The owls are still around, but they're just now independent.

Boise Hawks. Yeah, they're Pioneer League. Yeah. Them and the Raptors went prior, went Pioneer League and the owls just stopped existing and move somewhere else. So I actually have a question. So I, you know, we had you on the bonus, which by the time this comes out,

the bonus will be out. but in between the recording of the bonus and this guys if you haven't told the guest Liam's not here so Jordan's filling in as temporary guest co-host I had a friend of mine moved to your not Yerum for like I don't know like six months and then he just like bounced back

and you mentioned it you mentioned it on your latest revival Brigham Young Money is back what is the deal with that area? Because he never told me too much about it. With Orham? Yeah. Okay.

So Orham is in Utah County, which is pretty much just there is nothing separating that from like Provo. Provo and Orm just like are just right next to each other. There's really not a boundary between them. And like Utah County, which is where like Orham and Provo are, is probably like the largest collection of Mormons in the state. Okay. And that's where like BYU is.

That's where like the, it's, it's, it's like the triangle of death in Iraq for, for botheist thought, except for Mormonism. Okay. So that may explain why he, well, I know why he actually only lasted six months, but there's other reasons. But I could see that that being, this, this person being noradivergent and queer maybe didn't. Uh, yeah, that's generally not two things you want to be in Utah County. That's a, that's a rough poll, to be honest with you. Uh, I went to high school in Orem. I, um, I, uh, started my college at Utah Valley University and then like, I got my associates and bounced.

Just because I had like a ton of like credits from high school. And I was like, yeah, I don't want to take an art class in college. So I'm just going to make sure I get this done and then transfer to the U. So. And that's what I did. Yeah. But yeah, I'm very familiar with Orum. That is a horrible, horrible city.

Oh, it's all, it's all like just sprawl. Like, yeah, it's not like really a city. It's like our suburbs. Whereas like Salt Lake City is like a real city. It is per se. But like the whole like metropolitan area of a Salt Lake City now like extends like 40 miles north and like actually like 60 miles north and like 60 miles south now. Like it goes all the way.

to the tip of like the southern tip of like Utah County now like that's how um that's how kind of big the metropolitan area here has gotten so it's a big place yeah I'm looking at it it must be a bitch to drive around because it's all highways it is it's all freeways so it's all just like I-15 just goes north south throughout the entire place with a few belt routes and like IED cuts through the halfway part two and that's generally where your dividing line is for a lot of stuff I that's interesting I always, I'll get like obsessed with like a place and that I'll just like learn. I'll like find local forums and then just like learn about it for a little bit. Like I've done that.

I usually do it with places like I visit, but I'll just pick random places. Like one time, like I don't know a lot about Utah. I might have to do that. But I did it for like the boundary waters up in Minnesota. Oh, yeah. That was one I did. What else have I thought? I've done a bunch of shit places.

I'll get obsessive random, like, small California towns, too. You could learn so much about Salt Lake City if he just, like, surfed Reddit for, like, a couple days. Yeah. Namely, just like, wow, you guys have a lot of baked good shops that are, like, gourmet. Well, we mentioned, did we, did we talk about crumble the last time you were on? I think we talked a little bit about it, too. I think so, yeah. My niece thinks it's the best, it's like, because it's still on TikTok, it's the best thing ever.

Oh, my God. goodness, crumple, like, makes me physically ill. Yeah, they're disgusting. It's disgusting. That's far too much sugar for a human intake. Like, there should be a law. There should be. There probably is in Europe, about what qualifies as unhealthy foods.

Well, I mean, like, when it comes down to it, when it comes, like, all sorts of, like, fun sweet treats in Utah and all that. We're, like, the Birchis garden of, like, sweet treats. Like, we have, like, the dirty soda shop. not too, which is like, hey, I see you have a soda. How about we just fill it up with a bunch of like a coffee creamer and like a red bowl on top of that too? Oh, God. I still have not had a dirty soda.

I don't know. Don't do it, man. I remember I went to a jazz game not that long ago too. And I got like some sort of like butterscotch root beer thing just because like I'll try it out. That kind of does sound good. That kind of does sound good. It did sound good. And then I drank it and I felt like I had the shakes for the rest of the night.

Like that much sugar, it's like, oh, I think my pancreas died. Oh, God. Yeah, it's a shame because like, like, I don't know, one of these days I want to do, I had to convince my wife, do like the America road trip and go out west. And we've been, we've been to California. We've been to Oregon, like, just on the coast and do more like hiking and stuff like that. And Utah is like, fucking gorgeous. And it's got all this beautiful public land and stuff like that. But it's just a shame.

going to have water in like five years. But other than that, it's great. Hey, listen, we, um, we're probably going to have more over here. So, you know, you guys are more than welcome to make the track back. We're going to build the pipeline. We're going to refill all the water. We're going to build the pipeline over the mountains. We're going to fill up. We're going to fill up. We're going to release the sea lakes. The tanks. We're going to do it. It's going to happen. We got to talk. They're going to be gone to the big fresh lake after all the water I put inside. We got to talk. We got to talk to California, we got to make them turn the dials. They're not turning the dials.

When they don't turn the dials, they don't have the water. And when they don't have the water, no one has the water. They're telling me, gruesome Gavin, he doesn't like the water. I'm going to give it to you until they appreciate it much more there. It's a desert. They need the water. The water, very fresh, very clean coming from the mountain. You couldn't say that about, you couldn't say that about how it is in San Francisco.

I heard the water is very bad. We're going to build the machine from the Simpsons that makes the water flow backwards. We're going to do Operation Plowshares. We're bringing it back. We're going to build the rocky mountain trench. We're going to take all the water from Canada. It's coming to us. It's going to melt any way and go to the ocean.

Why not having it come to us? We're going to use Elon's tunnel digging technology to build these underwater pipes. And we're going to make them. We're going to go through the mountains. We're going to go through the mountains. It'll be easy, folks. We'll be winning so much. We'll have so much water.

So much water everywhere. So the Great Salt Lake has. has becoming less great, I imagine, because of the shrinkage or is it just getting shallower? Yes, both. Okay. Because, like, the Great Salt Lake is only, like, three feet deep, like, at most of its areas, too. Like, the deep as it gets is, like 10 feet. It is not a very deep lake.

And, like, since it covers a large surface area, too, and also because, like, snow runoff has become less and less and less, especially because, like, people keep building, like, homes in the mountains that just like disrupts all that. Like there's so much stuff that like has factored into. You need a lawn. Yeah. Well, yeah, you got to have that in the desert. Yeah, you got to have the Kentucky bluegrass.

If you don't have that, like what are we even doing here? We really, oh my God. We could stare escape like a bunch of stuff and make it look nice, like actually match the, the landscaping with the actual climate and everything. Native plants, you know, then you have like native animals and shit, but. But. But when we moved to this valley because no one was here, we were promised it. And when we did that, we were able to do whatever he wanted because that's just what it is.

That's why Brigham Young got dysentery at the right amount of time. It's like, fine, good enough. I'm done. No more moving. I want to do at some point, and I don't know how much the listeners want this, but it might be just for me. get somebody who's like a linguist who knows about the the because we talk about like Mormon pseudo history their pseudo linguistics is fascinating to me yes because like you're just like obviously pseudo history you're making up but like hey this shit's like dug in the

ground like we can kind of fudge shit pseudo linguistics you're just like yeah so no for real guys the native american languages came from Egyptian which is part of a language family that we can restruct to 15,000 years ago. And like, like, like, it's literally the second most studied language family after Indo-European is the, is the Afroasiatic family. Yes. It's like, motherfucker, they still speak Egyptian today in Coptic church. Yes.

And like that's the craziest thing about that, too, is like the story behind that with the church is, like, they brought like a bunch of like, uh, uh, translations that, uh, Joseph Smith did supposedly of like Egyptian hieroglyphics to like the University of Illinois and be like, hey, can you just make sure these translations are good? And like the church's story is, he said like, wow, this is the most accurate translation I've ever seen. Where did you get this? And then like Martin Harris, the guy who brought him and he was like, well, we got it from angels. And he's like, well, I can't let this truth get out. We must destroy this. And then like actually when they, when people actually ask that professor, it's like, I told them to get

the hell out of my office. Like, that was insane. Like, it's just scratches on a paper. Like, they just pulled this off of, like, some sort of funerary papyrus. And, like, it's gibberish. Yeah. This is, it really just shows how Mormonism is truly American, like, to its core. Yes. Like, no, they said, they told me it was the greatest transcription they've ever found folks, and you won't believe it. They said that you can't see it, folks, they're lying to you. They don't want you to see it. They don't want you to see the plates. it's it's like a religion created through Facebook comments yes really it's that it's look we're not that far removed from these people no like like it's not that long ago yeah it's it's not that long ago

which is which is amazing too because like you can craft you can unlike a lot of religions which are millennia old and like it's harder to find like the primary sources of lot of stuff like this one you can like trace it to a guy. Yeah. Like it's a guy. He made it up. Yeah. All the way down to like one guy.

Yeah. Dude. Cause was on some shit. Like I don't want to tell you. Like, like listen, secure the bed while he did get got. So,

um, I don't know if he secured the bag, but, uh, he had a run. He had a run. I mean, he tried to.

He did, he did a fairly decent job of it too. And then he just kind of got high on his own supply. And then like, also just pissed everyone off. He's like, look, I'm sorry.

the angel said I had to marry your 14-year-old daughter. I didn't want to do it. The angel told me to. Oh, man. These angels, man, they're fucking around. Well, listen, he had a flaming sword. What do you want me to do? That's pretty sick.

Listen, if a guy with a flaming sword came to me, I'd be like, all right, man. At least I'll hear you out. He said your daughter had to marry me or she was going to die. Like, I had to do it for her. I'm the self-I'm the selfish one here. I did this. I didn't want to.

Oh my God Can we like like The next the next new religion Can it be like sick? Like can we have like new cool shit? Like does it can it not be that? What you mean? Methodism mixed with masonry?

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Let's throw some Lord of the Rings shit there. Let's sort of something. Fucking why not? Well if you read the book of bourbon They tried that and it's it's not good.

Like it is a hard read. That is a. That is a hard road to ho if you ever tried to read that. So there was a podcast that it was like an atheist skeptic podcast. I forget what it was called, but they read the whole book. So I listened to the whole book of Mormon and they did the Quran too. They did the Bible. I was like, I don't need to listen to the Bible.

I got that. 13 years of Catholic school. I'm good. I know all that stuff. Actually, there's kind of sick parts of the Bible. Like I don't want to tell you. Revelations is crazy, man. That guy was on something.

It's fun to see what he was seeing. Jesus has some bangers. I got to tell you. This is the episode title. Jesus had some bangers. I don't tell you. He did. The beatitudes fucking rock.

Yeah, sermon on the mouth. Awesome. He cooked with that. We're very jinzy in this last five minutes. No. For real. He was cooking.

Jesus was kind of cooking, man. But let's get, yeah, like, let's get some lower the ring sheet. He was vibes maxing. He was vibes. listen, this is the new, this is the new youth pastor. Flipping the chair backwards, sitting down, talking to the kids.

Jesus will have with you kids, okay? Listen, I don't want to care. I'm definitely not going to marry one of you as soon as you turn 18. I'm definitely not going to go to federal prison in like five years for the whatever's on my hard drive. We were randomly the other day, like, like, this is tied in the Lord of the Rings. like we were talking about like the apocalypse or the ends happening. I was like, oh, there's that one book where like, I think it's called like Dyes the Fire. And it's like a bunch of nerds.

They just start to be in cinderin. And they become like the Duna Dine Rangers, but in like like fucking Cornwallis, Oregon. And it's like, dude, let's do that. Like so like let's have that because that's like kind of cool shit. Like that's kind of sick. Yeah. Like we're going to be in the woods. We're going to have longbows.

Like that's my. religion like I'm going to kill evil doers from the kill evil doers from a distance with I'm going to like the the normal people won't know like the sacrifices that we go to protect them from like the the evil people which I you know whatever they are you know capitalists or whatever. And honestly that sounds like a bunch of the like split off organizations from the church too. Like after Joseph Smith died there was just like a bunch of like crazy like different. sort of like sex of the church. Like my favorite ones like the ones that took over like Beaver Island, Michigan, they were called the Stringites. And it was just this guy who was like, all right, well, since he's gone, I'm the prophet now. And then he just like started like a free love commune off of this island too until one of his followers just killed him.

Oh, God. Aren't there, aren't there some like chill Mormons that like never went west? Yeah. And they're kind of like... That's the reorganized church, which is now called like the community church Christ or community of Christ. I can't remember. But yeah, those were all like the people.

So Mormonism had like an Islamic type schism after Joseph Smith died. Hell yes. Like you had like the Brighamites who all followed Brigham Young out west too. And then you had like the stringites, which went to Breivir Island, started their free love commune and all that fun stuff. Great. They had fun, I think, until someone. and shot James Strang. And then you also had like the reorganized search.

It was like the second biggest from the Brighamites, which was like the people that followed like the Smith family essentially. Okay. They felt like the the prophet, the office of the prophet should stay within the Smith family. Oh, this is fucking straight of Islam. I know. That's what I'm saying. Like it's definitely like just straight up like a Shia,

Sunni split. Like and just less bloodshed, I think. Yeah. I don't know. We got time. But, um. But yeah, it's just kind of crazy how they'll split up too. But yeah, like the community of Christ, like nowadays, like,

they're a lot more like lax on like the divinity of like the Book of Mormon and things like that too. It's like they still like hold Joseph Smith as a prophet, but like more of a, kind of but not really sort of thing. Okay. I look at the wiki. This is their accepting of same sex relationship. So that's kind of chill. Which puts them a hell of a lot further than the LDS church.

Yeah. Yeah. that's uh all right so that's that's not that's too bad i listen just i don't give a shit if you got some religion just be chill to other people who don't yeah just be nice to other one everybody love everybody um all right well let's let's jump in so it's 24 minutes and we were talking about an hour talk about sports yeah um hello and welcome to another episode of 10 000 losses the only Philadelphia sports podcast that exists i'm your host tom pain and my pronouns are he him and with me is my temporary guest co-host.

Yay. Yay, Jordan. Pronoun, see him. Coming from out west again for all of you. If you couldn't tell, this is Jordan for bringing me on money. I don't know how you wouldn't be able to tell after 25 fucking minutes of us talking.

Of us talking about Utah culture, history, religion. Yeah. So, well, I guess you are a guest. Tempera guest co-host. Fuck you.

Announcements. Bonus will be coming out. Bonus with Jordan. We talk about, remember the Titans. That will be coming out very soon. We certainly talk about Remember the Titans and definitely not like 40 minutes of the IRA. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. We review the IRA calendar that one of our listeners, listener Wayne got me, a bunch of other shit. Jordan certainly didn't buy a Bobby Sand Soccer jersey from the Sinn Féin website. Oh, yes. We do look at the Sinn FINE website. Voicemails. I don't have any voicemails. I had one voicemail that was 40 seconds of nothing.

So call in 267, 371, 7218. give us your name and pronouns. You can also text that number. And you can also go Patreon.com slash 10,000 losses, where you can access to our bonus episodes, including the bonus episode of Jordan, and access to our Discord, where you can also send us messages

and interact with all the 10,000 losses. I don't know, what's the Dem and them, faithful army shitheads? I don't know. I only have to assume that the 42nd voicemail was just Charlie getting way too excited about the new MLS jerseys and just passing out before he could talk.

It's sadly, it's not. It wasn't his phone. Well, Charlie's got to direct line. Charlie can text me if he needs to. Yeah, he's one of the few privileged. Gotta be really excited about those union jerseys because it's got Ben Franklin on the private. Yeah, got some Benjamin's on it.

Because that's something that's never happened in Philadelphia sports before. A jersey with Ben Franklin on it. Yeah, you know what? Let's be real. Hasn't happened before. Those six years have that like a Ben Franklin mascot where it's like Ben Franklin dribbling a basketball? They did. They did.

You're right. I don't know how he would, man. And the doubt. Bad person and take it up to court. I'm sorry. Phillies had a Ben Franklin-esque figure on their luger at one point, too. So we got a couple. That might have just been John Krug.

Oh, man, John Krug. One of these days is politics going to come out and I'm going to be very disappointed. want it, but not surprised. John Krug might be the one guy who's just like, I don't give a fuck. I just want to be able to just be nice to each other. We've talked about this before. Like, we and I have actually talked about this many times. He's like pro women's sports in a big way.

He likes wrestling and he likes basketball. So I'm not sure. He, but he has interacted with me on Twitter and he dismissed out of hand the idea of putting Old Bay on a cheese steak. So get him out of here. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. It's questionable at best. We'll just leave it at that.

Yeah. He might be apolitical. I think he kind of has to be at a certain point too. Like that man's had way too much fun in his life to be like someone to like dismiss people out of hand for politics. Like you can definitely tell when someone's like a hard right winger in sports because they can't shut the fuck up about it. Like, a goose gossage is someone who's like, we'll never shut up about politics. And like, okay. Thanks, Goose, for chiming in on this thing we really wanted you to chime in on. Yeah.

The, the, all right, sorry. I was trying to look up a John Cruck quote where he said basically it would be, it was like Mick and Morandini and two other guys on the 93 fills who would not be canceled in today's climate, which I believe. I 100% believe that. And I Googled John Crook canceled 1993 Phillies. And Google's AI decided to say, John Crook did not cancel the 1993 Phillies.

Rather, he was a key all-star player for the team that reached the World Series. That's not what I was asking you, moron. I hate this AI. I love when Google just decided to give you context for your thing you searched for. It's like, oh, I got it now, yeah. Oh, you're probably thinking of it.

Like, no, actually I'm not. Oh, no, you're thinking of when John Kruk was part of the 1994 players strike. And it was like, no, not what I was saying. I've posted this one before. I think it might have been on X-back before I left. But I put Eagles 41, 33. It was like the 2017 season, the Eagles went 41 and 33. It's like, oh, shit, really?

Really? It's not Super Bowl 52? Okay. A game's above 500. I mean, that's pretty good. Also, that depth chart's probably hurting from those. 75 games. That's, that's, that's, you need an entire major league baseball minor league system to cover that fatigue.

I know, your injury report would read out like a casually list from the Somme. All right. Give me one second. I got to piss really bad. And then, um, we'll get back into it. That's cool. I'll just entertain myself here. Sorry.

Do do do do do do do do do do. I'm going to read off things I see on the Philadelphia Union logo that I have here on their New Jersey's. There is Benjamin Franklin, the Declaration of Independence, the flag. I think that's an eagle. The Constitution. Some buildings. An Adidas logo. more stuff of the Constitution.

Ben Franklin again. Yeah, it's a nice jersey. A little too wordy for me, though. I do like the fact that RSL finally has a New Jersey that doesn't have a multi-level marketing company on it. And it's a healthcare company. I know. Not perfect, but not openly a scam. So I guess I have to take that.

But it is back to the garnet and blue. that I'm used to. So, you know, that's, that's pretty good. I'm just happy I can entertain myself for all of you. It's, it's pretty good. Soccer. Soccer. Yeah, that's all I got.

Do, do, do, to, to, to, do, to, do, to, do, do, do. I talked to myself about the union jerseys. Oh, all right. And then I just transitioned over to the RSL jersey just because I liked it, because it doesn't have a pyramid scheme on it anymore. Oh, sick. What was the pyramid scheme? Like health advantage or something?

Well, that's the stock standard for Utah. I know. Well, they keep going back and forth on those two. Like the first one they ever had it was like Zango, which is like one of those fruit juices. It was like, it can cure cancer. It also costs $75 a bottle. Oh, boy.

Listeners, I just came back from taking the piss, which if you, if you, yeah, If you, I didn't have a wall, I would have been visible. But thankfully, I'm invisible. The picture's right behind where I'm facing. So thankfully, uh, no one had to see that. Fuck it. Donvass.

Fuck a bit. Um, you like football, right? I do like football. Let's talk about the Super Bowl. Yes, do it. How was that? That was a, was it a boring game or just a thrilling battle of defense? Well, as someone who hates the New England Patriots with all my heart, it was not a boring game.

because I want Josh McDaniels to suffer. And suffer he did when his offense produced nothing until the fourth quarter. Drake May, man. Dude, what a tiny, like, guy. Like, he's a baby. I know he's big, but like he's six foot four. But like he is, what a baby face, man. I know.

It's unfortunate. Gen Zee face. That's going to be so fun for him. Don't worry, though. I think that they have a long history of winning the NFC, the AFC East, just because the bills are just self-destructing right now. The dolphins are going to be shit, and the Jets are going to be the New York Jets for all of time.

Oh, boy. I just, I just Googled Drake May. And Jake May, Jake May's wife has attended every single one of his games since junior high. So when do they get married? Are they the same age? Please tell me that, because that could be really terrible. or really sweet depending on context on a lot of that.

And Michael May, nay Hudson is American Baker. Oh, boy. Oh, that's fun. She was also,

she was the president of her fellowship of Christian athletes chapter. Oh, she rose the prominence in December 20205 when she launched her

bake-mas series on TikTok baking a new item. All right, don't call, is that a baby? I think you have to bake for a living to be called a baker, not making it on. Yeah, like that's, if you do it on TikTok, that's just a hobby. But, you know, in January 2026, May partner with JetBlue, providing cookies for the airlines flights from Boston and Denver in advance of the 2006 AFC championship game.

Oh, I got to look up. I got to look this shit up. I just, I'm being critical because she's a Patriots quarterback wife. That's the only reason. Yeah. Okay, those cookies look. With Dave Portnoy, oh, fuck off. Yeah.

Fuck off. This is, but be baking with Bryce Harper next. This is Mormon coded. This is Mormon coded, even though he's from North Carolina. I know it is. I feel like everything involving JetBlue is kind of Mormon coded in itself. Because like half the, half of the board is Mormon. Did we, have we talked about,

the Mormon creative writing, Cabal? No. Cartel. Yeah. I think I know what you're talking about. Yeah, Brandon Sanderson. Yes.

We have, we definitely have talked about this. I think we have. Orson Scott Card. Orson Scott Card. He was the inn. Yes. He was the end.

The Twilight Lady. Yeah. Yeah. So that she came next. Orson Scott walked so that Brandon Sanderson could run. Yeah. Orson Scott Card felt like the, Orson's got card felt like the

inspiration for Andrew Scott's character from the latest Knives Out movie Oh, I have not seen that I like the first one. I haven't seen the other two. So he's just like a writer who like hates that he's a sci-fi writer but also like is really hateful

towards a lot of people and he's like oh yeah that's Orson Scott card almost to a T oh boy I love So, and apologize listener, apologies listener, if I've said this before. Because I have talked about Brandon Sanderson on here and his mediocrity before. But there was even one time Nova from WTYP.

She posted something about Brandon Sanderson. I was like, I'm dead serious. If you do a series on Brandon Sanderson, I want to be involved because I hate this motherfucker. I've watched all his videos too. Pumping breaks, kid. that man's a state treasure. This motherfucker,

the people are going, have him finish Game of Thrones, a song of ice and fire. They did. They finished the show. Congratulations. Okay. You're going to get this guy

who his most clever thing in his book is instead of skin tone racism, we're going to have eye color racism. And he has a little ghost that float around to tell you what emotions to feel. In 1978, people with brown eyes were the scene as fully human again. Yeah.

Yeah. What a surprise, like, really, oh, no one in human history has ever done anything about eye color, definitely not the Nazis. And so you're going to have Brandon Sanderson, Mormon, who is on the record, on the record saying, I can, I'm better positioned as a tithe pair of the LDS to change them from the inside.

Because I do think he is kind of, like, he's like decently less. Yeah. He and like, like, liberalish. Yeah, him and like Ken Jennings are like the ultimate. Like, you know what? I can change it from the inside. Yeah. It's like, can you go?

I don't know about that, bud. I don't know about that, but like, listen, if you can, go, go for it. But he, he, he, you, have you read like, George R. Martin? You read the books? No, I never did. Did you see the show though, right? I saw the show, yeah. I'm all caught up on egg and dunk right now too.

I haven't read those stories. We've watched the show. But there's a lot of fucking, right? Something he's averse to. And he also can't write, he can't write dialogue. He writes, that's actually what killed me is I read his first book. I got 100 pages in and I don't remember the dialogue on top of my head, but it's soldiers talking like modern teenagers. Oh, my God.

But not in like a, like, oh, no, no, that's how soldiers would talk. It's like, no, this is how teenagers talk. This isn't how soldiers talk. You have not heard soldiers talk. Yeah. There's not enough, there's not enough slurs. And they're not using fuck as a comma in this thing. Exactly.

And they're supposed to be like grizzled veterans. It's like, listen, Brandon Sanderson probably misses calling as like a video game. like scene designer because some of his like battle scenes like though this would be sick in like a fucking anime or like a video game JRPG this would be sick

there's like guys bounced off walls and shit there's a guy with a cool knife and he says a cool line before he stabs somebody like yeah that's what you should be doing you are not a really good fantasy writer I know there's going to be people mad at me for this but yeah I don't give a shit anyway back to the Super Bowl

no you're good I was looking up something else essentially too. Like there was, I didn't know about this wired article that someone pretty much wrote about Brandon Sanderson saying like, you suck. Is this the guy who stayed with him? I don't know.

And it was like, there's, hold on. I've spent so much of my life trying not to learn about Brandon Sanderson because I feel like every other like a little bit of micro-mormon culture just slowly eats my brain. I think this is, this is,

yeah. Oh, the picture with him with the sword. Yeah, that's the wired article. Oh, God. He stayed with him. The guy stayed with him. Oh, God. And people are like, he's mean.

No, Brandon is a bore. I watched his, so he does a series of lectures every year at BYU in their creative writing class. And he does a series of writing. And I had aspirations to be an author at one point. And so I watched those. And that's where I started disliking him. And I was like, some of this is stuff he's saying is, it's like legitimate advice.

Like, like, he's, he's not an idiot. No, he's not. He's not stupid. He doesn't seem like a malicious guy. He just, and that's the wired article. He's just the most milk toast human being alive. Yeah. He's like every other person I went to high school with and all that too, which is just like,

oh, you don't have a personality outside of like, it all just kind of rolls back into church at some point, too. Like, you don't really have a self. No. and he's probably very nice. I'm sure he is. And that's the thing is like, I've known plenty of people that were really nice,

but also just have no personality. No personality. You could be nice and have a personality too, but yeah. The, the, he gives, he gives advice that's fine in writing.

Like nothing that he, there's no bad advice that he gives in his writing stuff. It's not necessarily, like if you watch his video, like you learn a little bit how, you know, you learn some of the, some of the different, like, techniques. Like, it's a, it's a broad overview, but he just graded on me. And then one of the court, one of the lessons he has, oh, now we have the Mormon guy.

Like, now we have the guy who's like mentioning the church and he starts talking about like the fathers or some shit, the elders or whatever. And it's like, oh, this is, this is the guy he's boys with that's going to do all the dumb Mormon shit. Yep. And like, that's the least interesting lecture. But yeah, go ahead. Find out for yourself.

I watched all 12 hours of it. I do not want to watch that. No, you don't have to do that. Like, that's like one of those things that pop up as like flipping through the channels. It pops on a beat K, BYU for a second. It's like, oh, Lord, no. No, please. I don't need a devotional about how fantasy writing can actually lead back to servitude for the Lord or something.

Oh, boy. There's a reason that, like, I, like, the fantasy writers are like, it's Tolkien, George R. Martin, and then Terry Pratchett. And that's about all I could stand. Yeah. There's a reason. And we could talk for hours on, like, the genre conventions and how everything is basically ripping off those guys anyway.

Because I think, like, all three of them, really were able to build off of human emotion. Like, like Tolkien was, had his brain broke by World War I, so he's able to write about that. And it's in everything. Everything that Tolkien wrote has,

sorrow, but the joys at the, like, the things in life, but knowing that they're transitory and really at the end of the day, a peaceful life, you know, is much more invaluable.

Like, that's like the aspiration of men, of humans should be to be peaceful with your neighbors and not to, not, no desiring to rule over others is like an utterly immoral thing, which is like, yeah,

that's actually kind of like kind of fuck with that, you know, totally understand. I think George R. Martin, for the most part, like he just has a good handle on like human emotions for the most part too. Like one of the things like,

I've never really read this book or anything, but one of the things I really like is when he talked about being like present for like game six of the, the 86 World Series. And he's like, I've seen the lows and the highs of human behavior in a matter of two hours within this one game. And like, there's something kind of poignant about that, too, like being able to just, like, feed off of emotion like that and like be able to channel that into something too,

which I don't think Brandon Sanderson has. That's why he has a floating ghost in the story, like these thing called Sprin or whatever that, like, they tell you what emotions to feel. Do they have a holy spirit? I think so, yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. And then it's like joy sprint and like com sprang or whatever.

Like, yeah. It's like having, it's like having a, what's your name, Counselor Troil Next Generation. Oh, God. Like, Captain, I'm sensing, I'm sensing hostility. It's like no shit. They've already shot us three times. Like, but someone has to kind of spell it out. So he has a character.

He has these little like ghosts that like tell you like little spirits that like manifest. So in Mormonism, the Holy Ghost is supposed to be one of these creatures that follows you everywhere and gives you, as long as you are of good moral being and all that you will give you a still small voice guidance and things like that. So hearing this is just like, oh, okay. That's an interesting, growing up Catholic, that's an interesting take on. Uh, we also don't believe in the Trinity either, which is the point of those things that, uh, Oh, interesting. Okay. So then why do you have a, what is the Holy Spirit God then?

But not it's part, it's not like the Godhead, like we haven't. It is the Godhead. They call it the Godhead, but they're all three separate beings. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. A lot of people seem to have problems with that. And then, uh, you know, considering Mormonism as Christian.

It's weird. You know, okay. A lot of it just feels like a writing pitch. He was like trying to like find out where something zigs instead of zags. Definitely. It's definitely interesting based on like my. Well, first of, the Holy Spirit is very vague in Catholicism, but it's supposed to be like how grace comes through. And like it gives you fucking advice or not advice, but like it moves through sacrament and stuff like that.

Yeah. And it's the same way in more. I'm generally the best way like thinking about Mormonism is it's one of those things that tries to fill in a lot of the voids in like Christian theology and also like tries to sway their way to to kind of create their own story around it. And that's not really different from a lot of other religions that were in the burnt over region at that time either. Like the Fox sisters had their own version of it. The Pentecostals had their own version of it too. The Shakers had their own version of it too. Like just Mormonism was the one that kind of won out.

and lasted for some reason. Listen, I think that Christianity is the one I want out too. There was a bunch of other shit going on, you know, Mithraism and all the other stuff too. So, yeah,

it's something hits like a, like a nerve of the cult, the zeitgeist, and it just goes, it just spreads. It just, it hits on to something that people are concerned with like Christianity. Hey,

there's reason it spread through women and through people who are in slavery. because it has this liberatory message of salvation in the life beyond. It's crazy. Are we talking about football? Yeah, we're talking about the Super Bowl. And we're talking about theology, which I, listen, I fuck with. I put the 13 years.

I had to take theology class every year in my Catholic schooling. That's a reason I'm not, I'm not Catholic anymore. But I have, I have sympathy towards Christian theology from an intellectual perspective. It truly is funny that we just went from like, I hope nothing good ever happens to Josh McDaniels to be like, actually, where do you think the divine spark within man lies? The Holy Spirit is the font of grace. Define grace.

A question, by the way, which I asked my priest growing up and he could not really solidly answer that. He went the fucking seminary. Like, how do you explain grace to a fourth grader? Fuck. Dude, it's like the magic that God gives you. It makes you happy. Got you.

That's why so many. like Catholic priest just carried a Shaleli and just like, no. My drank, thankfully. That's why I learned how to hook up the hookup a keg. I'm not joking. I learned how to hook up kegs in eighth grade

for the church hall because my, our parish priest was a fucking boozer. And we're pretty sure he was fucking a couple of the widows. You know what? That's better than most. That is a hundred. No one is hurt there. No one. they're there, listen, they're lonely.

He's got to be celibate. There's a, there weren't going to be any children involved in any way. Listen, that one's not going to hit the spotlight page. So you know, that's okay. It's like, oh, you know what?

Fine. Everyone, victimless crime. Everyone wins. It is literally a victimless crime. I guess, I guess he count oaths, either that you swear, but. Yeah, so Super Bowl, Super Bowl, the Seahawks won.

But would you think about the, halftime show. I loved it. I think like it's just, I just thought it was hard to escape the thought of like how much of like just like Maga America just getting mad at that the entire time too. Like I can only imagine like every like 65 plus like white male that voted for Donald Trump like three times seeing like two guys grind on each other on like an F100 truck.

And just like how that just went into their brain like God damn it. Just, where's the kid rock show? What do you mean? It's not on X. That's the everything app. Oh. I do love the idea that there's like, I saw this a bunch of places, too. It's like the idea that there's this parallel culture between like conservative America and like liberal America, which is represented by like the NFL and all that too, which is not bore out in any statistics whatsoever except for in the minds of a bunch of diff shits.

because like no one was going to watch like the kid rock and a bunch of like a bunch of like AI created country music stars that I don't think exist in real life like who the fuck is Lee Bryce fuck you that's not a real person made up that's made up that's made up that's two first you put Luke Brian into like Chad GPT just like change it up just a little bit just a little bit making 20% more conservative and they did and it was Lee Bryce who's saying about like, I don't know, a tractor and beer. Like, yeah, tractor and beer, but also about how like, I got my beer, I got my tractor and I don't see any woke people, you know, there's no one blue hair in my town.

And that's okay with me. It's like, you know, there's a thongshould. Was the guy that like saying like the men north of Richmond, like. Oh, Richmond north of Richard. What happened to that guy? I don't know. Did he not pick up his phone? Is he dead or something?

like this feels like an Oliver Anthony yeah like if this happened like last year like it would have been headlined as like the MC by like the Hoctua girl too like Yeah

Richmond North of Richmond and Hock Tour are doing a podcast together Um it's just it just feels like so many like different like conservative griffs just like kind of just tapered off right before this or they would have been on this Oh, so I'm looking at what he's done.

So he said that he was nonpartisan, but in February 2025, Anthony spoke and performed at the 2025 conference of the Alliance for Responsible Citizenship, an international conservative organization affiliated with Jordan, Jordan B. Peterson. Mm. Bloody, bloody, I'm not political too. The, please. It was just a shame they had to call it that because the American Bund was already taken. You know, it's funny.

Up, up, up, not too far from me, the German-American bun that had a fucking camp, Southerton, Pennsylvania. That sounds wonderful. I'm sure everyone had a great time. Oh, yeah. Oh, there's definitely not Nazis in Bucks County. Where I am, it's, we're okay-ish, but a little too far north. Now I'm just,

I'm just thinking of like a Nazi version of like Camp Krusty where they were going to get like Charles Limburg to come speak, but they just got some whino in a suit that had red hair like Charles Limburg. You two kids can fly high. That's not Charles Limburg. That's a man of the suit. Yeah. Charles, Charles Limburg, he definitely had his own kid kidnapped, right?

I, you know, I have a hard. It's one of those weird ones where it's just like an early case of like the cops just pinning it on an immigrant, just like calling it a day. you guys come out well I miss Greg the last time he was he was out this way we just time wise fucking my dumbass job but it's actually really pretty where his baby was found

it's a nice hike I'll take your word for it too I'm sure it's a good forest it's fucking um what's it's it's called shit what can't remember i'm sure norman schwartzcoff's dad who was like the head of the new jersey state police thought the same thing as they were like pulling the sheet over the baby it's just like oh this is a pretty nice hike up here we should probably do this it's just a shame of it in jackboots and like a and like a nazi uniform that's what we wear in like the north new jersey state

police oh yeah i was going to say have you seen the new jersey state police uniform yes um yeah oh shit. Fellas, you should probably lose the Sam Brown belt and the chin strap. It does not look good together. It's like a Hopewell Furness or some shit like that is the, but there's a hike there by a reservoir. Oh, Sourland Mount Preserve. That's what it is.

Sourland Mount Preserve. It's not too far from me. Well, it's a little bit. That's like me going to like Nutty Puddy Cave. It's like, you know what? It's a really beautiful place where this place is if you just discount. Are you close to Nottipani Cave? Oh, yeah.

Like, Nottipati Cave is like 30 minutes south of here. It's off of, it's off a mountain Timpanogos, which is right in between like Salt Lake and Orum. Just to bring it all the way back around. I never, like, realize, I knew it was out west. I never realized it was like, oh, no, this is like.

It's like right outside of like the metropolitan area. Like, it's way up. Wasn't, um, also, speaking of weird shit, we were talking about Orum. Is there like a canyon there where one of the serial killers left his bodies or some shit? that? You mean like Ted Bundy?

Is it Ted Bundy? Yeah. Provo Canyon? Yeah. Provo Canyon's kind of a little bit further down, well, by Provo. But yeah, that's Ted Bundy found some victims up there and all that too. Oh, shit. Really close to Sundance as well.

Oh, okay. We'll have to one day do the, I'll do the Philadelphia, the Kensington tour, because there was like three serial killers and like a triangle from where I grew up. You had the Kensison Strangler, the most recent. You had Marino who killed all her babies. Oh, Judas. Yeah. And I don't think she ever went to jail for that. And then what was the other guy?

Gary Hydenick. Gary Hydenick. Luckily, where I am, we only now, we only had Revolutionary War loyalist Quaker gangs. Nice. Yeah. So those, those, the rumors where their gold is somewhere, a cave somewhere in Bucks County. So, you know, it would be kind of cool to find.

Super Bowl, bad bunny. Yeah, so that happened. It was, it was cool. Yeah. It's kind of hard to like say that. And I guess like for the most part, too, it's like the fact that they tried to like do like a parallel concert with that too is just. It's just amazing to you because it was just like something that took place in like a black box theater and like Kid Rock did Bob with DeBah and then tried to do like Bob Richie.

His country shit. Yeah. It's like he looked like if Dr. Phil like guest art on heaha or something like that. Like it's like what is this? Like come on. This is the culture. This is the culture you have. Really?

Yeah. This is it. Like where's William F. Buckley? Get someone who actually has a fucking brain please. And like it's a super bowl halftime. show. It's supposed to be like up tempo. It's supposed to be like amp you up a little bit too.

Like bad bunny like amped you up. And like it was like yeah, fuck yeah. It's culture rocks. And then like you watch the like the TP USA one too and just like, fuck. I feel like it just like took Ambien and then just down some like vodka on top of it. It's like I just watched like I'd rather watch the one that has like 400 incredibly attractive people in scan.

Yes. It's just twerking. Yes. Like, I was watching with my wife, and I was like, there's something for both of us here. Yeah. Like, we're both happy watching this. I was like, everyone's hot. I was to say.

And then you go back to the T.P. USA when you just get kid rock, like, lip singing bar with the ball and the most like boring fashion ever is like. All right, man. Thanks, man. That song came out, what, like 98? 98, 99. Yeah. I remember it being on TV.

R.L long ago, Judas. Oh, my God. Well, at least we don't have to worry about football for the time being. No, but this is a baseball town now. This is baseball. We're baseball spring trainings. Bryce Harper's finishing up getting his blood cleaned by a Spanish Fort Utah chiropractor that's just hooking him up to two shop facts and just like one's on suck,

one's on blow and just pulling out all his blood and pushing it back in. to air it out. We're doing dialysis the wrong way. Yeah. We want to get extra air in your blood. You know, the funny thing is like when that finally came out, I had to go look it up a little bit

just to see exactly like what this is. And like the more I looked into it, it was like, well, he has a master's in public health from Harvard. And I started digging into it. I couldn't find any sort of mention that. But then it was like a bunch of like bullshit doctors

from like the, from like the, Hollywood upstairs medical college. Hollywood upstate medical college. that specializes in new age and woo-woo horseshit medicine. Oh, my God. And it's like, you're at a certain point, if I was the Phillies, they'd be like, Bryce, I was going to say that.

Can you not have all your blood taken out by someone who's about as qualified as like a phlebotomist at like the Red Cross, maybe less, probably less. less. Like, Bryce, listen, we pay you a lot of money. And we're glad to pay you a lot of money, right? We're happy paying you this money. But you can't pay, we can't pay you the money if you don't have blood. It turns out you need that to live.

But if you're not alive, you can't hit a baseball real hard. Look, they said the ozone in my blood will make me hit the baseball harder. Is there, I mean, he's got, he's got to be a midwit. Right. Like he's, oh, yeah. Like,

he's definitely a moron. Like, he's, we're not a moron, but like, he's, he's not dumb and he's too dumb

to realize that he's dumb. He's smart at baseball. And like every other baseball player that's smart at baseball, he's dumb at literally everything else. Yeah. Um, the raw milk to the,

the infrared blankets. I can't wait until he starts going bald and he gets some fucked up surgery. He's going to Turkey to get the hair transplant. Turkey. Yeah. He's going to show up to spring training and it's going to look like that Frankenstein from the Venture Brothers

that has like the top of his head caved in so they had to put a different head on it. Him and Eric Adams take a flight back together. And not the good Eric Adams. No. Not the singer from Manor War. Not the fun one.

The corrupt police captain one. Although singer Eric Adams probably voted for Eric Adams. Probably if we're being honest about it. You're an Italian guy from New York City, probably. Or the other guy. What was the other guy who was running? Slewa.

Yeah, he probably voted for him. At least that guy's funny. Well, Slewa is least a straight shooter. Insane and also, but still, straight shooter loves cats. So, I mean, like, there's something there. I'm guessing you never encountered the Guardian Angels. Not in, no, I never have. I've seen people with maroon berets before and it was like, this feels really out of place.

Like I feel like I'm in like a 20 year like time sync or something. It's, it's, I ran into when I was growing up in Philly a couple times on the train. It's like, these guys are, what are these guys? I remember having to ask somebody the first time I saw. I'm like, who are these guys? Oh, they're the guardian angels. Okay. So they're like going to help out if like someone jumps me?

or something. Is that what the cop's job is? Yeah. It's like, why is there, I know. And that's the thing too. It's like we've put so much money to like subway security at all the different like

shops, especially like New York. It's like, it's incredible to be like, well, we need the private security for guys who just like wear berets and just like yell loud. It's like that, that helps out the cop who's just sitting over there against the wall playing candy crush.

Yeah. They, they, ever helped out in Philly. I've only had two ever incidents on the, in all my time taking public transit in Philly. I've only had two incidents. And both of those were handled either by me or by pastors by one time we had a guy, this was on the bus. And I grew up in a Puerto Rican neighborhood and I had the only white kid on the bus.

One guy started giving me shit. And all the other people are like, shut the fuck up. Leave this guy alone. He and do nothing to you. Like, shut the fuck up. and they just chased them off the bus. And then the other time was taking, as an adult,

I was taking the regional rail back up to here where I live now outside the city and a guy was being a shithead to two kids. I think, I don't know, they sort of looked a little queer or something like that. Yeah. I don't know what it was, but he kept saying shit. I was like, you know, motherfucker,

if you're going to say another thing, say it to me. And then the fucking, the conductor's like, all right, you're in the right. That guy's an asshole. You're in there. I don't want you guys to get. I don't want you getting in the rest to go over this guy. He's getting off the next stop.

Don't worry about it. I got it. I'm moving you to the next car. And he called me Santa douchebag because I had a Santa pin on my shirt. So, but both, neither time were guardian angels or police involved. Funny. Funny enough. All right.

Yes, but yeah, spring training's back. I can't wait to find out any more Bryce Harper milk enemas. The raw milk thing still gets to me to as like someone who. spent some of my life growing up on a farm and things like that is like if you've ever been near a dairy and you see exactly like what they do to get milk out of a cow like the machinery the smell everything about you should like you would never drink that shit in a million years i i actually i actually as a kid went to a farm and milk the cow so i i actually know the and it feels weird oh yeah it's very rubbery.

It feels like you're doing something else now in hindsight. But, uh, uh, yeah. We don't have a cow. We have a bowl. Animals are fucking dirty. And I would like my shit pasteurized, please. Yeah, like boil the shit out of it. Yeah.

There's no. It doesn't do any. Well, listen, we're going to like with the news today about the flu vaccine not being approved for next year or something like, like the fact that we're like vaccinated in Europe now. We go to Europe every year. That might be my thing too is like, I'm going to Vancouver. I don't care what else. Yeah, fuck it.

I'm not going to CVS and fucking, I don't like to drive sick. You know, drive up the can to. Maybe I just make a nice trip out of like flu season too. Like I'll go see like a Canucks game. Yeah, do something nice. I'll go get myself whatever like MRI vaccine they actually want to use. It's like, please thank you. I've always wanted to see the, what is it, Lance Almeadow,

where the Vikings. had their like little settlement in Canada, go up there. That'd be awesome. I'd go to Toronto. I'd go to Montreal. I don't have. I need to. I haven't been to Canada a long time.

I've never been to the actual city. I've only been to Kingston, which sucks. I've only been to Vancouver. So like Vancouver is a cool city. I like Vancouver. But yeah, like that's, I feel like our future is unless things get really better in a real hurry is we're going to have to like schedule vaccination schedules around international travel.

Yeah, I can't, it's, it's gonna be, I can't wait for the, the new measles play. I'm actually the next, my next physical, I'm gonna be like,

hey, do I need to get a measles booster? Just in case? Yeah, I think I'm like 20 years after my last MMR booster. So I'm like, hmm,

I should probably talk to, it's been a while. It's been a fucking while. And it's like, I just go into my doctor now. I'm just like, just shoot me up with whatever you think I need. Like,

I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I think I might need the shing, because I was like a few years too late for the chickenpox vaccine. Yeah, I was too, I think. Too early. I get that as well.

Well, like, I've been in the Army. They gave me like 20 vaccines my first day in the Army. Just shoot all that shit in the ass, right? Yeah, it's just like a medic with like that like gun they use on cows. Just like, it's like, okay. Yeah. That was the, uh, where's there, where's there a bunch of guys that got Hep C from the air,

the air needles back in the day? I'm sure, but luckily it was not me. So, no, no, it would have been, it would have been like in the, 50s, I think. 50s or 60s. They swap out the needles pretty well now, so you don't have to worry

about that too much. But yeah, spring training. Looking forward to it. Baseball? Baseball? I love baseball. Zach Wheeler might not be ready to start the season.

I saw that. He got a rib removed so he can suck his own dick. Oh, thank. God damn it. You got to perform me. Him and Marilyn Manson. I think we saw the headline

and we immediately had to thought. Like, that's not, that's an easy joke, but it's a funny joke. Listen, I got to say, I'm a husky guy. When I was younger,

you don't need a rib removed. You just need an old school bathtub and some flexibility. That's all you need. That, very true. You get about an inch in and you're like, this doesn't feel good. This actually feels more like the opposite.

What are you doing in the bathroom? Don't worry. You've been in there for three hours. It's fine. It's fine. I'm really tired, mom. I ate bad shrimp.

I don't know. There's no. Tom, there's no fucking hot water in the house anymore. What the fuck? Better not be in there trying to suck your own dick. It's why I claim my mom does not listen to the show. That would be a terrible way to go.

You just accidentally break your neck like that. Quarter comes into. A third one this week. Oh, Philadelphia, the fire department, like, all right, fucking, yeah, this is not. This happens all the time. We're in the talks with the health department about getting in some PSAs in the city just to make sure this doesn't happen anymore. Yeah, we got to talk to these fucking kids.

I got to get these schools or some shit. The guy got to stop sucking their own fucking cocks. We're just working on some flyers for them, you know, just to see what we can do. Maybe just like, hey, kids, it's, it's dangerous to suck your own cock. Just, you know, it's like, there's better ways. There's better. You can pay someone. You can find someone.

Listen, we got this thing. It's called Kensington and Lehigh Avenue. And you go there and you have $20. $20 actually. Might be able to too much. But, but, you know,

maybe the first time it doesn't, you know, you need a little extra. This is the greatest middle school, like, assembly ever. Yeah, we're just like,

Oh, kids. My name is Clint. I'm sorry. You know, cat and caton. I'm Clint Humphreys. I am. Kay Humphreys with the Philadelphia Fire Department.

I'm here on behalf of the health department here to talk to you about something that's near and dear to us. Sucking dick. And you're here to Joll's life? No, I told this story to on WTIP once. But I got a tour of the fire, one of the Philadelphia Fire Department's boats. fireboats. And we're in the fucking engine room. And it says no smoking. And he's fucking lights up a cigarette. He's like, yeah. So this fucking thing, if it detects the fire inside the engine room, you have 30 seconds to get the fuck out or else you'll die because of the halon. And he's like smoking a

fucking cigarette. I was like, oh, okay. And like, this is like my like I like I was like, I have family member who was in the fireboard like hooked me up on this shit. I was like, okay, maybe should I say something about the, they also, fun fact, they, that, that fireboat, it's still the, it's still the newer one. Yeah. It has a jet drive and the intake kept getting shit stuck in it from the Delaware River. So they, they took a canoe, a metal canoe, a aluminum canoe, cut it in half and welded it over the intake. Like all the fucking shit that was getting stuck in there. Mother necessity.

We love it. Welcome to Philly. I don't really have any. Nothing really has come out of spring training yet. We'll keep you advice. Tyree's maxi. Everyone has a fucking handbone that's like breaking that they have to get replaced or surgery on. I saw like Francisco Linduors went down with it too, which sucks because I'm a Mets fan.

I'm sorry, everyone. I know. I hate me too. That's right. We got a couple listeners. You and Wayne could be happy about that. Or sad about that. I never wish harm on the players unless they're branded Nemo.

Yeah, I agree with that. Francisco Lendors seems like an actual good guy. Yeah, he seems like a decent guy. I don't wish any harm on him. The hammate bone, which is the lower outside edge of the hand. That's a weird fucking bone. It's easy. It is a very common baseball.

injury though. Yeah, because that's the same way that Corbyn Carroll and Jackson Holiday had. Yeah. Like, apparently there's just like a, just a wave of them. And apparently there's like three different ways you can hurt it playing baseball. You can hurt it throwing. You can hurt it catching. You can hurt it swinging. Well, that's all three ways. Yeah. It's all three things you do. Yeah, you can get jammed really hard when on the bat and it can fuck up that because it's like one of the bones that contacts the bat really hard or something like that. And it receives a lot of the shock. I don't know.

I don't ever keep track of spring training just because I just, it's hard to care about like exhibition baseball. Like I know it's gotten importance and things like that too, but just like, yeah, it's, it's there. It's there. It's happening. I am a bit like baseball is my favorite sport.

So it is, I do keep a prize. It's nice. It's back in the news. It's all it's during the day Yeah, it's sorry, I can't really watch it but it's the thing to have the MLB TV on the background while you do other stuff And he's like all right, cool I got Keith Hernandez talking my ear off again the missed I missed this Yeah, I'll put oh sometimes if the it's a you know I could do it in the class

I'll put it in the background if we're reading or something like that but I just drive around town like like Bad Lieutenant just listen to the Mets games getting mad I don't say the N word though I'm not like a I'm not bad okay come on you can't say the N word for a spring training game you got to save that shit for the regular season

um in for a penny in for a pound I guess goodness uh uh sixers Tyrese is an all-star so that's nice

uh I don't watch the all-star game I the NBA the last time I watched the all-star game was when it was in Utah and like it was fun to go like I went to

I went to the game I went to the three point contest and the slam dunk contest that's all cool to see in person it's fucking death to watch it at home it sucks so TV I just there's a

the NBA has become so like cutting edge with the annoying like cat like late stage capitalist shit oh yeah it's it's obnoxious to me at times.

Obviously my critiques of the NBA have nothing to do with the demographics because you'll hear dumbasses say shit like that. The same thing with my criticism of New Star Trek. It's nothing to do with the demographics. It doesn't do with it. It kind of sucks. The people will complain about the NBA, the player, whatever.

I, you know, obviously this is a socialist podcast. but I'm having just a hard time watching. Yeah. I'm not feeling. I feel like the regular season doesn't matter. And people have been saying this right. It's just a low bar to get into the playoffs. I don't really care.

Yeah. I mean, like once they started doing the playing stuff and all that too, it's just like, oh, okay. So you can just be like 10th place and still manage to get in the playoffs. Yeah.

Okay. They need to actually constrict their playoffs a little bit. They're too long. And just go back to eight teams. just yeah and I can't watch the last two minutes of any any basketball game anymore yeah like figure out the fouls the playing was fun when you thought like the warriors are going to get like eliminated or something like that yeah it's only good for like schuydenfroid to be like the lakers might not make it it's like fuck yeah yeah that's it outside of that they're useless it's like oh ho we're playing a few extra games to

see who's going to get swept by the one seed awesome Yeah, it's, it's, yeah, it's, it's too much. It's too much. And it drags out too long. We're well, we're way too deep into baseball season. And it's like, all right. It doesn't help too that like it happens like parallel with like hockey playoffs. Yeah.

It's like, all right, man, I'm going to definitely care about this. Or I'm going to watch playoff hockey, which is like one of those things that almost gives me a panic attack every time. But man, it's thrilling. Yeah. It's like playoff baseball. It really is. Anxiety-inducing. When the Phillies do get eliminated, I'm like, oh, I'm free.

I don't. Luckily with me, yeah, with me and the Mets, it's like, all right. June, done. All right. We can clear our schedule. I can watch. I can watch with peace of mind now. I almost get mad when they make the playoffs.

Now that, too, it's like, fuck, I care about this into September. This is bullshit. Yeah. Oh, so in boxing related these, since we had you go for Rocky. Oh, yeah. Move the Rocky statue to the top of the art museum steps again. I saw that. And they were doing something with the Joe Frazier one, right?

They moved Joe Frazier's statue to where Rocky statue used to be at the bottom of the stairs. So the real The real They're going to move it to The fake boxers at the top of the steps The real Philly guy Who's an actual boxer He gets to be at the bottom

Where they near the Rocky store Which I don't know if it's still there It was in a fucking Connix box That's amazing That truly is amazing to be like A fake boxer representing a guy that's still alive, that is kind of a huge piece of shit. Yeah.

And like, he's still above like Joe Frazier. Like, still held in higher esteem by then smoking Joe Frazier. Yeah. Yeah. It's, uh. That doesn't depress me. at all. Yeah. Yeah. Joe Frazier,

Philly, born, born, raised, and died. Well, he's born in Carolina. So raised, raised and died in Philly and buried in Philly.

And honestly, why shouldn't Rocky have that statue? After all, Sylvester Stallone was our latest Kennedy Center Honoree. Mm. Before they decide to shut it down. I regret to be, be honest with you.

It's finally good for me to break through this glass ceiling that I usually like to have women pee on top of first. Oh, Jesus. I really appreciate you guys, like a Tulsa King so much.

You know, it really doesn't sound like this. This is just something I do, just because I've just been in character for so long. Oh, my God. That's always like the funny thing about Sylvester Stallone

is like he's dumped himself down to be his character. He plays himself down. If you haven't heard that a rocky bonus, go listen to that. And my rocky impression is a little more spot on because I had just watched it.

But that was a good bonus. But yeah, I have to feed my pets. I'll kill myself. Turtle, the turtle goes on top and turtle falls over. You can pick him back up. Hey, Paul, yeah. I just realized something.

You're kind of a piece of shit. Hey, Paul, can you not swing that shit around here? I'll try to fuck your sister. Why did I keep you around all these times? You're really bad to us. I can't wait to buy you a fucking robot and this is a four move. I actually regret buying you a sex robot. Yeah.

Polly, would you like me to, Paulie, do not try to suck your own dick. I am here. I love you fire to fire. It's like, fuck. He's a first, yeah, he's a, the first one. He's the first one. So remember this guy from the Rocky movies? Yeah, he died sucking

his own dick. He had a robot, too. Turns out, turns out robots could suck dick. Who knew this shit? Mike, you ain't going to believe this, but I've been to that house four times in the last month getting that dick out of that robot. It just keeps getting caught in the gears.

He keeps doing it. I don't know why. Oh, my God. Maybe you get your dick stuck in gears. That's that's a, that's a, um, Did you ever see the George Forskine Grill from Red Letter Media? It's it's hidden. You have to like look for it.

It's an unlisted video. If no one's ever seen that, please look it up. Oh my God. I know. I love Red Letter Media. I have never heard of it. Oh, you've never seen the George Ford. We have to do a Jordan React video to the George Forskine Grill.

Oh, I got to find it for you. Hold on. Why? This video may be inappropriate for some, losers. Not losers, users. Dick the birthday boy.

Yeah. Oh my God. Oh, no. Should I watch this before or after I get offline with you? You should watch it now and we can get your alive reaction. Oh, yeah. That's all. I'll hit play now, so I'm watching with you.

With us now is 41-year-old construction worker Rich. Hi. Now, Rich, I understand that you still have the foreskin of your penis. So he still got his foreskin. You'd like to have it removed, right? Yeah. Well, you're in luck. Have I got the product for you?

It's the new George Forskine grill. You can do it yourself. Why waste all that money on expensive doctors and medical procedures when you can grill it off? Now they're going to grill it off. It's disgusting, uncut penis. He really, he pulls his ducing. dick out. Well, fake dick, but yeah. I was like, how is this on YouTube? All right, Rich. It's time to grill off that.

Just a real, uh, here we go. Is it, did he put it in yet? Yes, he did. Now he's screaming. Well, Rich, it's time to take a look at your new penis. It's disgusting. Droborsay universe out now. Oh, the meat one. there is so gross.

I wonder what they made it out of. I don't know either, but that's amazing. I expect that quality from red letter media. Yeah, it's beautiful. I'm sure, like, probably the only people that ever buy that's probably Tony Doku pill and that's about it of CBS News. Oh, my God. Famously, a man who's been circumcised twice.

Yeah, get the extra. You can have to do it on the budget now. I was like, you can't keep paying for that. Oh my God. Do you think he used a George Forskin grill for a second? That possibly could be. He was dedicated to it. So I've been accused of stealing of stealing Comtown bits before.

Now I'm going to be accused of stealing red litter media bits. So there you go. What an amazing way to end this episode. I'm so not going to go stare out the window for like the next couple hours, just contemplate things. I know. it's it's um it's it's there's nothing to say really there's not really to say i have two more things on the fucking thing i we have see i'm glad i was going to start off the episode be like dude i have no dms i have no voicemails it's going to be rift city no worries here hour 25 we

we talked for a fucking hour before this we have things i can't talk about on the pod we have fucking rift for a long time um always going to say is temple men's basketball third third in the American, 73 in a conference. Utah men's basketball, 10th in the Big 12. Let's fucking go. Actually, I think they're like 12th out of 14. Oof. It's all right. It's a tough conference. Just get into the tournament.

It's all you need. We're not getting in the tournament. Are you fucking kidding me? You never know. To win out the Big 12 tournament, we'd have to beat the likes of Iowa State, Kansas, Arizona, BYU. BYU, they can't shoot with their left hands.

So, I mean, that's fair. Yeah, they're, they're not allowed to use one hand on things. They can't cross over people. That's on, it's on sportsman like. They're not allowed to, you know, handle balls like that. Unless. It's against the honor code. Yeah.

Yeah. It's Utah Bassman. I could go Temple. I'll accept you as my substitute team because this. Absolutely. And especially since all the, I think all the gambling allegations, all those players and coaches are gone. Yay.

Temple Owls, by the way. All right. So there's this, there's this blog called the Temple Football Forever. And I kind of like, it's this old man, he yells at Cloud Football blog

about Temple Temple, Temple Football. And I just like his, I'll send you a link. He still has the time he got retweeted or comment it. Matt Rule mentioned him in a post. in 2013 and he has it at the top of his header.

And so like his latest blog post is one way to spice up to 2026 temple season. Trick or Asian. Let's get some true plays, guys. And then his other post is like, well, that's a terrible idea. Yeah, Casey Keeler beat Kurt Signetti once. And then, then this is what I wanted to mention. Temple Football makes history in a good way.

We are the first G5, there's so many asterisks this, the first G5 team since 2017 to keep all their starters, but only counting starters who started the final game. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's a hell of a statistic. That is, wow. But we did keep a lot of guys. We got 22 guys.

We got one of the Drew Aller clones that they make in the Penn State Laboratory. the Christian Ackerberg clones. They have one curly hair white guys DNA, and they just keep making new quarterbacks up there in Happy Valley. One of them is going to be our quarterback next year. Delightful. I can't wait for college football to come back. Yeah.

Yeah, that's... Yeah, and then maybe college football 27. maybe they'll have players that look like their actual size you don't have a 300 pound guy who looks like they're 200 pounds

so at least we got like last names now instead of QB 13 so I guess we're doing something right we're doing something all right I want to give our shoutouts because we're almost that hour and a half North Catholic tier patrons

Patrick Sean Kat, Mike Charlie Kyle Wayne Sam Sam Cleare Chuckberg No News 1011 page 700 level patrons. Voice emails, call on 267, 37171718.

Give us your name and pronouns. Tell us what you would do with Kid Rock's penis. DM us and follow us. Would you put it in the George Forskine Grill? Yes. DM us and follow us.

I'm at Tompane on Blue Sky. Liam's at W-TYP pod in Blue Sky for some fucking reason. And then we're at 10,000 losses pod. What's your handle on Blue Sky? I am S-L-C-L-L-L-C-L-L-E-L-L-L-L- on Blue Sky. It's just slylunk.com.

You can also find me at brigham youngmoney.com on Blue Sky too, which is our pod page. I got actually updated, I think. I haven't posted on there for a long time, even with our new... Yes, your Blue Sky page has not been updated. I don't think they have the password. I think only I do, so I should probably do that.

I was thinking about that's like, oh, yeah, we should probably do it. The Brigham Young Boys are back from the dead. Go listen to them. It was a fun episode listening to. It is just as meandering as this was. Yeah. Also, Kyle's still on X.

He's technically on Blue Sky as well. Fight in a good fight. I don't know how he does it. It's not even like a moral thing or something like that too. It is just unpleasant to be on that website. We have to, we got to get Kyle back on because we only had him on the one time when the Ukraine war. Maybe if we get all three of you guys back on, that's when the Ukraine war ends. Or that's when it happens.

Can you imagine? Oh my God It would be the best episode ever It would be like the end of return of the Jedi When all the like When all the EWox are dancing and singing Bapada da

Bapla Blanc la Bap And they're just playing drums On helmets And things like this is great You just have You just have all of our faces

smiling Harrison Ford's hug in Lando and Wedge. Wedge is there. Louis-Sty Walker, seeing ghosts. Seeing ghosts, yeah. And then Leah just grabs it by the hand. That, then the music,

you know, crescendos into the, you know, we have a not racist Jamaican-based character going, Mesa Free! Oh, man, I forget they put that in the newer versions, too. Yes, they do. Oh, yes, they do. I watched it on the plane back from Amsterdam.

It's just great because George Lucas, I might go like, I think we should add some more stuff to it. Now that I'm finally free of the payments, I have to give to my ex-wife, we can do this now. We have the alien who sings. We need to see his uvula. We need more of that. There's more stuff in the background.

We've got to have a lot more. I feel like we're bordering on Jordan B. Peterson. Like, George, you should have the, the hero's journey highlighted. That's half the people on Star Wars, too, from Georgia Lucas to Frank Oz. So, I mean, if we're being honest with each other. Yoda, I can do a little. It's just a Jewish guy from New York. That's what it is.

Frank Oz was just doing old Jewish guys. That makes sense, actually, how you think about it. Give me this past me, you will. Make it fast. Oh, my goodness. List of bringing young money, folks. Yes. Yes. Patreon.com slash 10,000 losses where you can hear all my racist impressions,

um, including the forbidden one that Liam, the Liam, uh, the Liam will do that's, um, it's from a, that might be a Comtown bit,

actually. Yeah. Oh, oh, it is an accident that's done on Comptown. There's a couple. There's a couple I could do that. I,

I'm not breaking out for the, uh, I'm not breaking up for this, but, sorry, guys. I appreciate that. My students know I can do impressions. They're like, do this impression. I was like, absolutely not. I would like to have a job.

I'll do Irish guy for you again. How about that? Patreon.com slash 10,000 losses, like I said, and you'll get the latest bonus episode, which has Jordan with me and Liam when we talk about fucking remember the Titans and how much bullshit it is. You also go to our Discord.

And let's go, wow. listen to our other friends podcasts. Well, there's your problem. Bring him young money. Talk your shit. Trash Future Beyond the Breakers. Radio free towbag. No guys some airs. Kill James Bond. Hellway to that. Tipping pitches. Sickos committee. Self-wurst.

Championship and bust. And batting around. I will get on all of those podcasts. Get on all those podcasts. Yeah, you got to listen to all of them or else. You're not a real fan. That's my goal is to just like be the Pokemon. I'm just appearing in all those podcasts. I got Trash Future down. I got a hell of aided dad down.

I got this one down. I got... Just thinking about it now. It doesn't matter. I've been on a lot of them, but I'm going to finish it out. I'm going to do it. Yeah, we got to get...

I've had a couple people... I've had everybody on from one of those. I've had everybody on from... I haven't been on all theirs, though. You've got everyone from where those are your problem, right? I've been on WTIP. I've been on Beyond the Breakers. I've been on Radio Free Toapag, but I have not been...

I've been on, like, a live stream for tipping. pitches. But I have not been on the other ones. If you ever won us on B.Y.M. Let us know. You got it. I'm sure we can arrange that. I spend two hours talking about

Forskins. That is immaterial to Mormonism, okay? Yeah, let's talk about Utah. Yeah, guys, yeah, I've never been to Utah. Also, you pronounce Lancaster wrong. And, yeah, go back. Hey, what's going on? First time, long time.

I want to talk to you. out. I can only imagine. Yeah. I should start a Google voice number again just to get those. Oh, yeah. I'll definitely. I'll leave the Google voice number.

The last call we got was from former presidential candidate, Rocky Anderson on our, he's just like, I just wanted to say thank you guys. It's like, thank you, Rocky. And then he ran a really crazy mayoral campaign. And we were like, yeah, we got to distance ourselves now. Oh, boy. Yeah, there's a friend of the.

The show Patrick wants me to get a local politician. I was like, all right, let's, let, we got to talk of real life about this. I'm sure he's a good guy. Let's, let's talk about this in real life. It's like, that's one of those things where it's like, we got to measure this out first before we go out there too. It's like, not only for us, it's probably a, we need to do a brand defense sort of thing for both of us.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so we're announcing that the 10,000 loss is going to have Brian Fitzpatrick from PA1, the America's most moderate Republican. Nice. Nice. Yeah, we're getting him on. All right. With that

say, thanks for listening, everybody. Bye. Don't burn your fortunes. Don't die sucking your own dick by accident. We don't care. We don't like us. No one likes us. No one lies us. We don't care. We're from bail.