That Gaby Roslin Podcast: Reasons To Be Joyful - Lucy Beaumont

Episode Date: June 9, 2026

Comedian Lucy Beaumont is a bundle of joy and brings her infectious laughter (and accent) to the podcast! She tells Gaby about bringing joy to people via the power of comedy - and how she feels more relaxed on stage, than in her real life. There's the story of the crow who tried to pick her up by her beehive haircut - and the gang of youths who stuck a Wagon Wheel to her forehead on the London Underground. And - we host The Easiest Biscuit Quiz Ever, to see how she fairs...

Lucy Beaumont, my favourite, favourite, favourite accent, please will you teach me how to make it my version of a whole accent better? Thank you. Can you say snur? Snur. And can you say glub. Glob? Yeah, and then put them together, snow globe. Snur globe. Yeah. Do you have any of them?

Was that all right? Yeah, it was amazing. Lucy Beaumont is such a pleasure to see you. Thank you for the joy that you bring. And I just love being around joy spreaders. And that's the whole thing with you. It is about joy. And you're going back out on tour to spread more joy and laughter.

It's just such a gift that you give people to help us laugh and to make us laugh, especially when the news is a bit bleak at the moment. I know. Well, when is in it, I know. Yes, actually, right. Yeah. No, it's lovely. Yeah, it's a joy to do.

It was why I'm doing it again. Do you get as much joy out of it as we do watching it? it's amazing. It's amazing. I feel more relaxed on stage than I do off stage. It's because people feel like you feel like you just are with friends. I suppose they've paid, haven't they? They've paid to, but they come knowing yeah,

and also knowing that they're going to have a good time, do you know? It's lovely. It's lovely. Do you get your friends to pay as well then? No, no. But I try the material out on them. Do you? Yeah, yeah.

Everyone's got voice notes from me. And it sounds like I'm just trying to tell them something funny, but really they all know I'm working out material. And are they honest with you? Oh, but, oh, no, no, they never are. Oh, no, because it always makes them laugh. Oh, good. They're always weird.

They know that if they get a voicemail from me, I've done something ridiculous. Oh, I love that. Okay, most ridiculous thing. Oh, my gosh. We've seen a lot, you know, sewing bee and taskmaster and bake-off and everything. Yeah. And traitors.

I've done the rounds now. Yeah. So what's the most ridiculous thing? And I don't mean tell you. What's like, you know, is it walking into a tree? That makes me laugh more than anything. Walk it. Oh, my God.

Where do you want to start? Oh, please. Just go for it. I've done so many. Please. Go on. Well, it wasn't my fault, but you know a crow landed on my head once. It used me as like a stepping.

I had a little bit of a beehive, actually. A crow. It was trying to pick me up. The crow. And then when it realized it couldn't pick me up, it sort of used me as a stepping sturt, you know, to get onto like a fence. It was trying to pick you off? Yeah, it was sticking its talons.

Because they pick up little dogs, don't they? But you, you... Did you know that? They pick up, like, Yorkshire Terriers. Crows pick up Yorkshire. Yeah, you look it up. Did the crow think you were a Yorkshire terrier? Well, I don't know what breed it thought I was,

but I wouldn't like to be it on behalf of the crow. So the crow, okay, so I'm there, the crow on your head. And then what happens? And it was trying to pick me up. Did you feel the togging? Yeah. You have felt the togging from the crow? I was ever so worried.

Because I am little. I know that, you know, my mum's biggest fear was that I was going to blow away. She wants, I went to school. I went to school. You know, high school, my friends came to pick me up and I said, this bag's so heavy. I don't understand. And I looked in it.

And there was a brick in it. There was a... There was a... She put a brick in it because it was a windy day. She's a really caring mom. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Have you ever done that with your daughter? Is she little as well? No, she's like quite... No, she's got my legs. I wondered why I didn't have legs. I didn't realize it was because I was saving them to pass on. Saving them for your daughter?

I say to her all the time. My daughter... say you've got my legs. Oh. She's got long leg. Okay, so the crow. I actually need another one now. And then this isn't, this was in my last tour.

This isn't in this, this tour. And then I was on the tube, on the northern line, actually, and I just fell asleep and a gang of youths got on. And they just parted a chocolate wagon wheel and stuck it to my forehead. I know. And it really, it upset me for you, because I've been talking about, I've been saying, talking about it for about 11 years on stage,

telling people this. And I'd always thought, you know, like, as anyone else had that level of public humiliation. And then I did a gig in Glasgow, and I went past this woman at a bus stop. And she had, you know, one of those massive rollers? Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A really big one. The big, squidgy one? No, like a barrel one. Oh, right, okay. You know, like a Velcro one. A Velcro. But massive. Yeah.

And a boy on a bike went past her and put a sausage through it. Go? Yeah. He just got it. He was riding with a bag of chips with a sausage. You know, with no hands on his handlebars. And he went like that, and he went, just put it through. It's your life always like this.

Yeah. Oh, this is what. when anyone gets a voicemail off me, they're like, oh, this, some of it, some, so when you do, would I lie to you? They're always true. Now I see why they've taken a whole list and say that you could come on again and again and again.

Yeah. It makes sense. Does anybody believe the things? No, I always win because David always thinks about it too much. I know. I've watched. Yeah. I've been watching when I knew I was going to be chatting to you.

I was watching them. I was, honestly, I, You just make me cry in the best, best way. And you're exactly what we need. So you going out on tour. Yeah, again. Okay, so here's something we have for you. This is from us with love, okay?

Okay, we're very exciting. Because, of course, your tour is bad at quiz shows, good with weirdos, okay? So we have got a quiz for you. Okay. This is, it needs a sort of fanfare. Can you do a fanfare out of your mouth? That was disappointing.

I'm so sorry. Did you like his fans? Oh, that was all right. Okay. Can you just try a little higher note? Okay. I see why you pushed him on that. You knew he had more.

Here we go. This is officially the easiest biscuit quiz ever. Oh, wow. Okay. Okay. Lucy Beaumont, which, I've got to do Quizmas. Which brand makes. the original digestive chocolate hobnobbs and penguins.

Is it A, foxes, B, Macvitties or C, Burtons? And the answer is, Burtons. I'll tell you in a moment. Lucy Beaumont. What's the name of the classic long rectangular biscuit that has a patterned filling and is often cream-flavored? Is it A, rich tea, B, Jim,

ginger nut or C custard cream. Custard cream. There's a cream. Okay, I'll tell you in a moment. Lucy Beaumont, which Scottish biscuit is known for being crumbly and having a high butter content? Is it a shortbread, B, digestive or C, warbun? Sharp bread, sharp bread, I put my life on it. Okay, so you're saying for that question it was shortbread and yes, the answer was Surebread, thank you very much, thank you very much. Yes, yes. What is the name of the classic long rectangular biscuit? You said, custard cream.

The answer is, castor cream, castor cream. Thank you, thank you. Okay, to win the award that we've made, and I'm really excited to give it to you if you get this one right. Which brand makes the original digestive chocolate hobnobs and penguins? I asked, is it A, Fox's, B, McVitties, or C, Burtons? And you said, Burtens.

Producer Dave, would you like to give the correct answer? I thought it was McVitties. The answer is, McVitties! Oh! But she got two out of three so we can still give him the award.

Oh, I'm very excited about giving you this award. Oh, wow. Are you ready? Yes, I am yet. Dave, don't look. Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Is it a car?

Is it a car? Right. Okay. Lucy Beaumont. Yeah. This is the first ever award that we have given. Really. Is it, what artist did you commission to make the sculpture? Well, Banks' his best friend.

Oh my God. Can you not say his name? No. No. Yes! Yes! Oh, it's lighter than it looks. Yes.

Like an Oscar's meant to be lighter than it looks, isn't it? There we go. Wow, thank you. It's a pleasure. Oh, look at that. You don't get that every day, do you? No. The first of one.

And will anyone else, how much will it get on eBay do you think? Absolute fortune? And will you be doing this again? No. Is this a one-off? It's a one-off because it's special for you. Wow. I mean, we might present somebody else with the golden magic, golden knife, plastic, environmentally friendly one.

Yeah. Again, but it won't be on a fake. Jaffa cake It's fake gluten free It's gluten free Did you find that's better To stick the knife into

Is that Did you have to test lots of different I'm gluten free So it was a spare Oh well thank you so much It's an absolute pleasure Thank you very much Lucy Beaumont Now we also

Actually we're going to do that in a minute Because I just do want to talk to you about all the various quiz shows And game shows and things that you've done If you had to rank them In order of the best fun I'm not going to do how you did and everything, but the best fun.

Because you've done so many of them. Obviously, we saw the on Celebrity Traitors on that. We all loved it. Producer Dave was obsessed. That's why. He's not looking even in the eye. That was the nation. Yeah, it was just fantastic.

But also, Somme and all the others, but all the quiz shows you've done, an eight out of ten. Which ones bring you the most joy? None of them. I just do it for the Monet. And the ones that aren't for Muné, I get, oh, so quiet.

Oh, am I here? Can you just live in the studio with us? Well, can you just come and move in? Yeah, I love to move. Will you come and live with us? Well, who would turn this? Look, it's prime London location, this. There we go.

You're moving. I'm under the desk. Do you know when we last met? Did you know I've met you before? Oh, we have met before? Yeah. But it was a very long time ago. Yeah.

It was on... I think it... See, I, in my head... I think it was as much as... I was 10. Was it on... I see, I thought it was at Terry and Gabby at the Terry and Gabby show.

Did you come to? Which show did you come to? Big breakfast? Big breakfast? When I was a child. Weirdly, somebody said to me, you know that Lucy tells people that she met you when she was younger and I thought it might be the Terry and Gabby show.

No. It was... I did the Chris Evans show. I told him about it because you were on it with him. It was actually Paula Yates that did the... the ceremony because do you remember that fountain that you had in the courtyard out the back?

At the back of the house? Do you remember it was a kid's competition to design the fountain? Did you design it? Well, my mum went to art school. Well, she got, I think she had me. I think that's why she left, actually. But she's really good artist. She did it and pretended it was me.

And we came on the show. And it was awful. Two weeks before she said, we've won a competition, you're to keep your mouth shut because we're going to get a hotel in London and it's good. And then so she told me I wasn't allowed to tell them but right, when, so they, oh my gosh,

so they unveiled it. They had an unveiling. They had like a kid's choir singing. I was going to say there was a choir there. Yeah, they made a really big thing and I was like, I've got to tell everyone it was me. And then right at the last moment my mum said, I did give her a little bit of help.

I was like, oh my gosh, you came, you came to the green room. Nobody else did, but you came to meet me and my mum. Oh, my word. Yeah, and you were so lovely. You were so lovely with me. Oh, my. I've never forgotten. And we've always said, like, for years,

like, if you've ever seen you on anything, we always say, she is so, like, we knew how lovely you were. And then it's not got a very nice ending. Oh, God. Well, we went, do you remember Granway's supermarket? We were shopping in there, and they were selling bubble bath. The Channel 4 was selling bubble bath.

It was our fountain. It was our fountain. bath was. So my mum tried to sue them, but she didn't get very fast. She ended up not penniless. So weirdly, a TV producer said, which this isn't going to be on,

but a TV producer said to me, watch out, Lucy Beaumont, met you many years ago on a show you did, and I thought it must be the Terry and Gabby show. And actually, it's on YouTube. If you put in Lucy Beaumont, bring breakfast. Oh, I'm bringing up. Yeah. And it's, Paul

Yates that's interviewing us. Oh my God. But you were just so lovely. You were so lovely to me. I've never forgot it. I've honestly never forgot it. You and Diana, Princess Diana. You remember?

You was both really lovely to me. Lucy Beaumont. What was it? Big break. What do I... I touched a riff. What do I put in? Lucy Beaumont?

Big breakfast. Oh my God. Atlanta, we launched a competition to design our new fountain. and ever since we found a winner which was about 10 days ago there's been a frenzy a frenzy of building going on and we are now about to unveil the finished product. Look there's the picture that I never drew.

First of all right now I've talked to the designer which is Lucy Beaumont who is 10 and her mother Jill who you helped with the drawing didn't you? A bit. Yeah. You can see the design here. What gave you the idea for this design? Washing up really? I didn't know anything about it.

It's a complete line. Did it take you a long time to do this? I didn't know about it, Gabby. I drew it. I'm part of the idea. Oh, yeah. I don't think of it. Yeah, that's true.

I didn't know she'd done it. She admits it all on. I think it went quite smoothly. The teapot was a challenge. Why? Well, it was quite big and very heavy. And it took three of us to get the big breakfast bowl over the canal bridge. It was very, very heavy.

Worthwell. When we finally see it, what are? its key features. I think it's very abstract. They brought it all this lives. They brought it over Canal Bridge. Because they thought a child had done it.

Oh bless her, Paula. Yeah. Toastmaster. He's going to continue nearby Clarence. Oh, my God. Take it away. Ladies and gentlemen, I remember him coming on.

He used to come on a lot. God bless all the fountain. You were brought here to the Lusater to the cottage to bring us water and help our program's plumage with the split splattering of your drops. Did you write this? Did you write the program? I didn't know what was going on.

I was like, what is going on? Because I had nothing to do with it. Oh my word. I'm a superstar. That's just... I knew I loved you and I love you even more. Lucy moment everyone.