That Gaby Roslin Podcast: Reasons To Be Joyful - Megan Crabbe

Episode Date: September 1, 2025

Megan Crabbe joins Gaby for a chat about joy and body positivity! Her new book - 'We Do Not Make Ourselves Small Here' - is a very personal book, for every woman who has been taught that she has to shrink part of herself in order to be good enough - whether that's her body, how she shows up in relationships, how she shows up in bed, the life choices she makes or how much she's allowed to like herself. Megan talks openly and frankly about how she deals with haters online, and how her feelings towards her own body have changed over the years. You can follow Megan on instagram and remember you can watch all of our episodes on our YouTube channel - where you'll also find our Show n Tell episodes, every Friday! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We don't make ourselves smaller here. Megan Crabb, you know what? When you came on my radio show, I just fell for you, and I knew I had to speak to you for longer. So thank you so much for being on there. It was a mutual feeling, so I'm glad to be it. I just love your energy. No, it really is.

It's infectious and good infectious. Thank you. I try to cultivate it. So how did this all start? I mean, obviously I know about your childhood and growing up. that awful feeling judged and trying to fit in and eating disorders and all of that. But where does this energy come from?

Where does all of that come from? I think, are we swearing on this podcast? Do we swear if you want to? I think I have worked very hard to learn to give less of a fuck about the expectations that are put on me, whether that is by beauty standards or patriarchy, you know, what anyone else thinks. I just actively try and practice every day, peeling a layer back, doing less of what everyone expects and more of what is actually me. But how? How?

Where was that moment that you thought, I don't want an eating disorder, I don't want to be judged, I don't want these people to bother me, how did you stop doing that? I think for me there was a really strong turning point where I had been through, as you said, body image issues from when I was a child. I had had an eating disorder as a teenager. And even after the eating disorder, I had gone right back into believing that the perfect body would bring happiness, right? So I went back into dieting and obsessively exercising and hating myself. And it was actually when I had reached the goal. So I had the magical goal weight in my mind. Oh, really? Okay. I'll become that and everything would be great. And one summer, I hit that goal and I looked in the mirror and I still hated myself. And I thought, I'd change this and this and this and this. And somehow,

some, you know, freak universe twist at that same time, I had seen someone online on Instagram who was much larger than me, who was wearing a bright red bikini, who was talking about, I'm not going to hate myself anymore. I'm done with dieting. I'm embracing my body as it is. And that happening at the same time as, you know, I would supposedly meant to be happy in my perfect body shifted something in my brain. Oh, that's incredible. Yeah, like opened a little crack of, oh, wow, maybe I've been wrong all these years. You know, I've been chasing this idea of what's meant to be happy and it's this perfect body and maybe I've been wrong and maybe I should try something else. And so I literally, I stood. I remember I stood in the garden with my brother who'd seen me go through

all of this and all of the misery that comes with it. And I said to him, well, should I just try? should I just try and go the other way try and learn something different You said this to your brother Yeah He's a very, he's a good man Oh wonderful Yeah yeah yeah

And he basically said to me Look you might as well give it a go Obviously all we want is whatever's going to make you happy Try it What a great answer Yeah So simple Yeah

And that's what I did I've never looked back But then So everybody talks about the negative side Of social media there is a hugely positive side as well. So it helped you and you in turn, because you went through it, you are out there to help others.

Trying, yes. No, you don't say trying because you are helping others. You are. You know you are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take away the negative bit. Correct. Own it. I think for me, it just allowed me to see something that I'd never seen in my life.

But I don't know about you, but growing up, there were no women who fell outside of the... you know, the ideal, plus-size women especially, there were no examples of those women who were genuinely, I'm happy in my skin, I'm not changing myself, here I am. You didn't see that. You maybe saw the joke. You saw the comedic fat suit, like Monica and friends when she's fat Monica.

But you never saw the positive representation. So for me, back then, you know, social media was the first time that I had ever genuinely seen that. And I've, you know, there's that phrase. You have to see it to be it. And that gave me that chance. It's very interesting because so many, when I speak to comedians or actors or musicians who didn't see somebody of their colour, of their sexuality, of their size, I still think that we live in a society that's far too judgmental in a big way.

You know, it's always, why did she do that? Why didn't she do that? Why can't, actually, very often she, although it affects men as well, as we know. I know, sadly, men who have had eating disorders as well. It's not just a female thing. But everybody's very quick to judge. And do you ever judge? Do you ever think?

Why did they? Why shouldn't they? Because I imagine you don't anymore. Well, I think it's almost impossible to get rid of that completely because I think that initial first judgmental voice, that's what we've been taught, right? that's what we've grown up with. That's kind of the conditioning.

I think what matters is what you do with that initial thought because that will sometimes still pop up for me. I'll have a judgmental thought and I'll think, well, will she wear that for? It's just something about someone else's appearance. But I choose to not voice that. I choose to question where that has come from and then I make the choice to go in a different direction.

And I think that's what you have to do every day, right? If you're trying to be decent to other people. Brilliant. It's not about the first thought. It's about the second thought. Absolutely brilliant. Okay, so let's talk about the book. Okay.

So this is really exciting for you, isn't it? I mean, when you talk, look at your face, you just light up. You sparkle. Let's talk about the book. It's book number two. So book number one was a deep dive into all things, body positivity. And it really was like, I have to write this because I have to let people know all these things I've learned. And I put it out there.

And then I didn't write another one. one for a long while. It's been eight years. And I was kind of thinking, I don't know if I've got anything else to say, you know, I don't know if I can do another one. I think you do. Well, I think I do as well. And I lived a little bit and I, you know, questions all things. But it's important that you speak. I want you to keep speaking. Bless you. I'll try. Yeah. And this book, it's, it is really a journey about all the ways that women make themselves small. And it includes the body, but it's not just the body. It's, you know, where we shrink ourselves in our relationship. or our sex lives, what we do for our careers or the choices that we make,

you know, all the ways that we mould ourselves basically to be what other people expect us to be or what we've been taught to be. And it's me just gently unpicking. It's not me saying, I know the answers, this is X, Y, Z, how you do it. It's just me having a little look and saying, come have a look with me. I was taught these things. Were you taught these things? I went through these things.

Maybe you went through similar. And at the end, it's just an invitation, really, for anyone who's read it to be a bit more themselves and a bit less apologetic. We apologise so much. We do. As women especially,

most of our sentences start with an apology about how we look or how we sound or how we act. I just want us to reclaim what we deserve, which is our right to be here and take up space

and be in the bodies that we have and, you know, live our lives. What do you say to the, sadly, women, as well, and the men, but to people who will write a nasty thing under a post. So because we're talking social media

and that's how people know you've got millions of followers. How do you feel about those people? Because a lot of people are now calling them out and it's very interesting watching this happening. And sadly it's women on saying nasty things to women mostly. It is.

How do you feel? about those people? I have mixed feelings about those people and I've seen people are starting to call them out and more power to them if that, I see the value in that. For me, I have to try to hold on to some empathy for the people who leave the mean comments because they too have been taught.

It's about them, yeah. This is what you do. And if they say those horrible things to another person, God only knows what they say to themselves when they look in the mirror because it is all projection. It is a reflection of how they feel about themselves and they push it out onto somebody else. And yeah, it's cruel and it's unacceptable for sure. But it's all about them, really. So I think for me, the most empowering choice is to just not give them the airtime to just block, delete,

move on with my life. Because if they're taking up space in my brain, they've kind of won. I don't think they deserve that. And I wish them the healing that would lead to them not feeling the need to put someone else down in order to make themselves feel better. So what would you say to a, and I'm not making you go back and speak to 16-year-old you, but what would you say to maybe a parent of teenagers or to the teenagers themselves or a grandparent or a carer or teacher, whatever, of the young person who's going through the body issues that you went through, the mental health issues. what advice would you give now?

Because I think in many ways it's even tougher. Oh, we are in a hellscape for body image. Absolutely. I'm so thankful that social media wasn't what it was when I was growing up because it would have been even worse. Honestly, I think for parents especially, the most important thing you can do is be an example to be a positive example.

So many of us have had the experience of growing up with parents who were doing their best, were doing what they felt they needed to do, but taught us to critique our bodies, you know, stood in front of the mirror and said, oh, look at my mummy tummy, or got to get rid of that. Oh, got to watch what I eat.

Oh, I'm so naughty for having a bit of cake. We pick that up. Gosh. We absorb that. But we all, at some stage, we'll do that. Yeah. Oh, I fancy another ice cream. Oh, I shouldn't have two scoops.

But hey, I'm going to. That's me. And I love my ice cream. But when it's really weird, when I put it on social media or eating ice cream, they go, oh, you're so thin. How come you don't really eat it? I'm not so thin, I'm very healthy, and I love ice cream.

End of, done. Nobody knows. Nobody knows what's going on with you and your body. I love my ice cream. I'm not stopping my eyes. As you should. No, but people will comment on all those things. They will. And you're right.

Those are the little things that people... They're everywhere. They're everywhere. And that is... And it's not men nastily as well. No, but that is what diet culture is, right? And it's something that is so embedded that you don't even really notice it,

you kind of go about your life. And then when someone points it out, you're like, oh, yeah, all the images are Photoshopped and all the lead actresses are thin and all this talk about calories is you can't escape it. And their faces don't move. Nobody's faces move anymore. It is everywhere. And it's one of those things when you see it, you can't unsee it.

And I think, yeah, for parents and specifically for moms, and this is not to shame anyone who is going through their own issues because, Lord, I know that's what you've been taught as well. but the most important thing you can do is heal yourself to then lead by example, I think. So, okay, so a young girl or a young boy is listening to this and they follow you and they are feeling that they are not enough. What advice would you give them? I think the most important thing is to recognise that there are bigger forces at play than you.

Because I think for a lot of us, especially around body image, we have a lot of shame and a lot of blame towards ourselves. And that's what we're taught. You know, it's your fault. You're not working hard enough. If you just had more willpower, you could turn it around. And we think, oh, it's my fault that I feel the way I do about my body and I look in the mirror and I hate everything. You've been taught this since you were old enough to perceive things. Since you were first, you know, watching animated films, playing with dolls.

You were getting messages that you didn't realize the end. entire time that we're teaching you, this is beautiful, this is worthy of a lead character, this person's worthy of love and this person isn't, all those little messages. Wow. And I think we have to take that blame and that shame off of ourselves in order to recognise the bigger picture. And that's probably step one. And then we can say, you know what?

Yeah, I deserved better. I actually always deserved more representation. I deserve to see myself. I deserve to be taught that all bodies are worthy of love and respect. Of course, because we all did. And then once you have that component, that's when you can start to have some more compassion for yourself and recognise that you aren't the problem and you never were.

So you are making a massive difference through your social media and through your brilliant books as well. But what's the next thing for you? How do you see this going? I'm TV, YouTube and all the rest of it. but how, what would you like to do? Because you can do anything. I absolutely know that of you.

I have no, I have no doubt that you can do anything that you put your mind to. You're a voice for generation. You're very, very important. I appreciate that. So what are you going to do? No pressure. What would you like to do? Well, yeah, not what are you going to do, what would you like to do and then make it happen?

It's tricky to. answer that because because this wasn't on purpose. I know but now you're making a difference. Yes. So how are you going to carry on making a difference to more people? To be completely honest with you, I think

at the moment my job is to keep showing up in the ways that I have been because we are in this time where things kind of feel like they're going backwards a little bit because a handful of years ago you know, body positivity was much

more of a hyped thing. It was a buzzword. Everyone was talking about it. We had more representation and things seemed like they were really getting better. And at the moment, it does feel like we've taken a step back and we've swung back towards a very thin ideal. You know, people are saying skinny is back in, body positivity is over. Skinny is back in. What a ridiculous term. How about health? Because I'm, I've studied health and nutrition for nearly 30 years. Instead of had bowel cancer and mum had lung cancer. And I'm passionate about it. health. But that's health. That's not what you look like.

It's their inside. Yes. And health at every size. Any size. Yep. Being healthy. I didn't know that people are now saying skinny is bad. Yeah, it's massively trending. There's something called Skinny Talk, which is on TikTok, very similar to basically pro-ana

content that you use to find online. Oh, no, no, no, no. It's huge at the moment. Let's not talk about it because we don't want to give that a platform. Yes. Yes. So it's a big issue. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to carry the fuck on. I'm going to keep being an example of you don't have to listen to that noise. You can go this way. What that looks for me personally?

Honestly, I don't know. What would you like to do? Magic wand. I have a magic wand. Make meaningful things. Maybe write more books. Maybe go into fiction. Maybe go into TV writing it.

Just trying to build an example. Here's the thing that I think you should do. Go on. Go on, you tell me. I think you've got to write a TV drama for young people. I could see that. And you've got to be in it. Maybe in Netflix?

Yep. And you've got to be in it. What do you think it should? What's the plot line? Exactly what you've gone through. But you do it narrating it. So it's a narrated piece with you in it, but with comedy, because you're funny as well. And I mean, I can see it.

And I can see you walking down the street and thinking out loud. You know, we hear your thoughts out loud. But it is that. And it's the finding yourself judging somebody and then you're talking to yourself and saying, hey, shut up. That sort of thing. That's how we see it.

I mean, I'm going to get you. Honestly, ever since I met you, I thought you have got to do this. And I can see you as the lead in it as well. You've got to write it. But it's be funny. Yeah, I think so. A good feminist comedy. And what are you going to call it?

Let's come up with the title. The book name's a bit long, isn't it? We don't make us smaller here. Yeah, but the TV one's got to be... For Netflix. They're going to want it. Short and snappy. Short and snappy.

Short and snappy. Sounds like a Sabrina Carpenter album. You see, we need people like you. Keep, just like I said to you when I first met you, just keep doing what you do. Keep flying. Keep doing everything. And I will do anything in my power to keep supporting you.

I think you're fantastic. Thank you so much for being on. Thank you.