That Gaby Roslin Podcast: Reasons To Be Joyful - Michael Ball

Episode Date: May 9, 2021

In this episode Gaby chats to her good friend the incredibly talented Michael Ball OBE. You will hear them talking about GSA, which is Guildford School of Acting where they both trained. Michael talks about his first big break in ‘Pirates of Penzance’, being in the original cast of ‘Les Misérables’, representing the UK in ‘Eurovision 1992’ and he shares some hilarious stories about forgetting his lines on stage. He talks openly about his own mental health and coping mechanisms, the amazing Captain Sir Tom Moore and recording a number one single with him. Plus, he talks about writing and recording from home with some of the best song writers in the business for his stunning new album called ‘We Are More Than One’ in which he reflects on the positive effects of lockdown - available now on Decca records. For more information on the sponsors of this episode:Grass and Co. - Find your calm 25% OFF, plus free shipping at: www.grassandco.com/GABYUse discount code: GABY at checkout.LinkedIn Jobs - to post a job for free visit www.linkedin.com/GABY Terms and conditions apply. Produced by Cameo Productions, music by Beth Macari. Join the conversation on Instagram and Twitter @gabyroslin #thatgabyroslinpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Gabby Roslyn here, thank you so much for listening to this podcast. I had so much fun chatting to my good friend and the incredibly talented Mr Michael Ball. Now, you'll hear us talking about GSA a lot. Apologies for that, and that's in fact a Guildford School of Acting where we both trained. He was two years above me, of course. We talk about his first big break in Pirates of Penzance, Eurovision, and some hilarious stories of forgetting his lines. Michael talks very openly about his own mental health issues,

and how he coats. We also talk about the amazing Captain Tom and recording that number one single with him. And of course, we talk all about his brand new album called We Are More Than One, which is available now on Deco Records. Go and have a listen to it. It really is very moving and very lovely. Please, can I ask you a favour?

Would you mind, please, following and subscribing by pressing the follow or subscribe button on the show. Now, I have to tell you, really honestly does not cost any money. It's completely free. And then if you wouldn't mind, rate and review on Apple Podcasts, which is the purple app on your iPhone or iPad. You simply scroll down to the bottom of all of the episodes and you'll see the stars where you can tap to rate and press write a review. It would mean the world to us. Thank you so much. Hello, lovely. Oh goodness me, Michael Ball. If this is not going to be the

The campus chat ever in Lexington? Because I'm the campus person and you're the campus person and we both love to the theatre. Well, there is an element of truth to that I have to admit. Michael, do you know what? It's really funny. When the lovely production company that I do this with, they sent me through, how about Michael Ball? And literally, I screamed because this is the interview that I have always wanted to do with you

because we never have. Do you know we haven't? No, and we've done chats on radios and things, but this is the truth about you and I knowing each other. You didn't know me, but I knew you, because you were in the third year, and I was in the first year at GSA, and all of us fancied you so badly.

Oh, don't be ridiculous. No, swear, swear, because you did. Now, this, I'm not, I promise, listen, I've known you over the years, and we see each other all the time. And we just always smile and laugh and you always say, don't tell anybody I was in the years above you. But this is the one I am.

But you did Sweeney Todd at GSA. No, I didn't. Yeah, you did. You sung a song from Sweeney Todd at GSA. Oh, I did sing a song. Yeah, I did sing a song. You didn't do the whole show. You sung a song from it.

And us first years saw you do that and we all went gooey. Then we used to see you in the Britannia pub. in Guilford, in the Brit, hasn't you called it. And all of us will say, go and no, you go and talk to him. No, you go and talk to him. No. I had absolutely no idea. I was kind of eccentric there.

I was always dressed sort of in, in skulls and a big... Yeah. And with Doctor Whoish, I always thought. Yes, I loved it. I was like a hippie. Yeah, but you had always big sleeves, didn't you? Yeah, yeah. But do you know what?

So we both trained. You had never trained as a singer. I wanted to be a broadcast. That's all I wanted to do was to be on telly and radio. That's all I wanted to do. And that place, I loved it. I loved GSA. I really did.

I'm so thankful for those three years. I'm with you on that. I did, and I made the best mates. I didn't work terribly hard, if I'm honest. You know, we always had that thing called ability in the morning. with Valma Bougy. Oh no. 9 o'clock in the morning.

Val McCardell, Godlover. And I sort of invented a back injury and a heart condition so I didn't have to go. I actually got a knee operation in so I didn't have to go to that. Yeah. It's 9 o'clock in the morning.

I'd been up late. I'm not going to make it and I didn't want to be expelled. No, we were drama students. You don't go to bed early. I know. But what I loved about it is, I hadn't a clue I was going to go into the business.

And it was only because I'd been in Surrey Youth Theatre. And Kay Doodney, who was kind of responsible for me doing this, said, you should go to drama school. Maybe that's where your future lies. And she got me an audition at Guildford. I was a little bit late to get on the thing, but she managed to wangle it. And I got in, and literally, from the day one, I knew I was with my tribe. Yes.

And I was doing the right thing. And great people, great friends. such good times. Oh, outrageously good times. And you learnt. You did learn. I mean, our year was notoriously a naughty year. You were a very, very good year, if I remember right. Yeah, the first, yes, actually we were.

And I'm pretty darn straight. And we were and we all, we did lots of musicals because we just loved musicals. We were a year that loved musicals, even though we were doing the acting course. And there I was. I remember one teacher, you and I, have never had this conversation, but that teacher knows who she is. But one teacher in year two

at GSA said, you know, what's everybody's flight plans? You're going to know exactly who I mean when I say this. We don't need to say her name. And she said, okay, everybody, what are your flight plans for the future? And people saying, RSC and, oh, I want to be at the national. I want to be in movies. I want to be in soap operas, all of that. And she said, Gabby, I want to be a, Saturday morning kids TV presenter. And she just looked, she went, oh, with that face, you'll never get on telly. And if you do, I'll hang myself. And I walked out of the class and I went to the principal.

I said, I don't like that teacher because I'm going to be a TV presenter. That's all I've wanted to do. And I never went to her class again. And then I saw her a few years ago. It's an end of year show. And she came up to me. She said, I never said that I'd hang myself. And I said, oh, but how did you know I was talking about you?

Do you know what she said to me? You know the teacher? Yeah, of course I do. Do you know what she said to me? Go on, tell me, tell me. You are never going to work until you're 40, and then it'll be character roles. The same woman.

Yeah, yeah. And I've now got a dance studio named after me at GSA. If that isn't the irony of irony. Oh, my word, that is fantastic. That's just made me smile so much. Now, so the thing about you at college was, as you say, you didn't work and you were, as you said. I hope you're not going to reveal any secrets here. No, no, no, no, no, fear not.

I'm not. I did outrageous things. I know. But, you know, you were a drama student and you were beautiful and lovely and talented. And no, it's none of that. All I wanted to say was that all of us as corny as this sounds and everyone's going to go, oh, what she's, ugh. but we knew you were going to be a star.

And so us first years, not only did we all fancy you, but we all just said, he's going to be a star. So when it happened for you, the thrill for all of us, you know, there's that lovely feeling of somebody that you knew, you knew at college who was a student, and we all said, that guy's going to make it.

Then was it Pirates of Penzance you did? And I think we all knew that I was still training, And there was this sort of amazing feeling. I've never said that to you. We were all so thrilled. It's like, yes, you can do it. Because sadly, so many people who train don't end up in the business. And you did.

And we were all so thrilled. Oh, that's just lovely, Gabs. That's really true. I swear on my life, that's completely true. Oh, bless you. Yeah, and it's true what you say. So many of my contemporaries, and I'm sure yours as well, and no longer in the business, they were talented, they worked hard.

But the breaks didn't happen. And you know, as well as I do, so much of it. Yeah, you have to work hard and to a certain extent you make your own luck. But you need those initial breaks. You need those things to happen. And for so many people, it didn't. There are also people there who really shouldn't have been. To this be really honest as well.

That's the same anywhere. That's the same anywhere. And I think those three years you're trying to find yourself as corny as that sounds. But I do think that. No, it's true. But so when you went into Pirates and you did this through an open audition so for people who don't understand

you weren't, and no agents said to you that you're going up for this part. You just went. No, I read it in the stage. That's amazing. Yeah, I was in, Basingstoke Rep doing, oh God, the worst production of sweet charity.

Was it sweet charity? No, it was Godspell. I read it was Godspell. No, no, no. Godspell I was doing in Aberystwyth. Ah, right. Then I was in, I got into Basingstoke rep. We did three productions.

Sweet charity, which was a shocker, but such good fun. Lark Rise to Candleford, and that's right. And wind in the willows, and I was ratty from beginning to end. Because there were a lot of local kids in it. And while I was there, I read in the stage, there was this open audition for the Joe Papp West End production of Pirates, which was going to reopen the beautiful Manchester Opera House. And myself and another guy was in the cast said,

well, let's just go up. It's an open audition. So we did. And I think the first audition was actually the dance or do. Was it the singing audition? So we just went in and did a song. And then the afternoon was movement, which I sort of scraped through. And I kept getting recalled. And I think it was six. Three calls later, I started realizing this is getting quite serious. Then they came down and worked with me. And I think the director, the people all knew the people at Basingstoke rep.

And then I got the word that it was between myself and one other person for the lead role of Frederick. And then they came down and the Americans worked with me down in Basin Stoke. And I ended up with a gig. It was just amazing. It was amazing. And, you know, as you. say I'm a few months out of drama school and the cast is Paul Nicholas who's riding as high as a high thing at the time he just don't just good friends and big big star obviously Paul

Bonnie Langford lovely bonnie who we know and love uh Victor Spanetti and Dillis Lay so proper old school performers as well and then me in a little box stand below on the on the poster saying and introducing Michael Ball as Frederick do you have that poster of course I do I'm looking at it right now. Oh, how amazing. Do you have all your posters from all the shows? Most of them. I had this fire in my house, so a lot of things got destroyed.

Which was a real nightmare. And Kathy saved your life, didn't she? Yeah, she says that. I think she probably started it. You cruel, man. 30 years man and boy with that woman. That's what you say. I bloody love her.

You know, I do. Yeah, she did. She properly did so many. But so much of my member, because it started in my office, so much of my memorabilia was destroyed, sadly. But I've managed to replace quite a few of them, and some of them escaped. So, yeah, I'm sort of surrounded.

What's your favourite poster? I'm sorry if it did burn in the fire, but the one that really just says, oh, would it be Les Mies? Yeah, the original cast of Les Mises at Barbican, because that was the start of everything for me. You know, that was when I thought, well, this isn't a fluke. I remember seeing you in that at the Barbican.

Did you? I think I've probably seen that show about 50 times. And, oh, God, you know what? I'm going to say, oh, you're going to hate me. But we had lovely Luke Evans on this podcast. Do you know what? He sung twice. Did he?

On the podcast. Oh, at these prices, I can't believe him. I love him. I love him. God, sing a little bit. Sing a little bit from Les Mises. There's a grief that. can't be spoken. There's a pain goes on and on. Empty chairs at empty tables. Now my friends are

dead and gone. Oh, this Michael Ball singing my ear. Do you know, can I think you're also when the recent one you did, I know we're skipping all over the place, but we will do. But but the recent one. You sung my favorite song in a musical, which I wish a woman could do, because if I could, I haven't talked. Oh, okay. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. You immediately said that. Anyone can sing any song. I got a really, I got a real bug bear about this, that, that especially Steve Sondheim, used to write all the best songs for women. And so I nick them. And you can change the gender if you want to or change the words like, You can sing them as written,

but you can sing any song if you can make it your own. So what song couldn't you sing? Well, all those years ago, because I was very lucky to go into Chicago for a year, but if I could have done any role, I wanted to sing, stars in the multitude. That's what I wanted to sing. But I couldn't have done that all those years ago

because they would have gone, what's that girl doing? Do you see what I mean? No, that's true. Yeah, I do. No, that's fair enough. It's a wonderful song. Can you imagine the excitement of hearing those songs in a rehearsal room for the very first time? It's being in the room when Coln Wilkinson is presented with Bring Him Home

because it wasn't written when we started rehearsals. What do you mean? I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. Two-thirds of the musical wasn't written when we started Les Mis rehearsals. You're kidding me! No, I didn't have a lyric for empty chairs. When I did the audition for Les Mis, I wish I could remember the Lé-Mise.

I wish I could remember the lyric, but it was pants. I mean, it made no sense whatsoever. Oh, wait, no. Empty pants at empty table. No, no. It was not a good song. But it was a great melody. And then they presented me with the lyric.

And I went, well, this is just brilliant. This makes sense of Marius' journey. It's the actual hook when you think he's not just a, wet blanket. He's got, he's a passionate, uh, young man and he becomes a fully fledged man during this song and his life is, is, can move forward. I remember they wanted to cut the song. No. Um, yeah, when we first openly, Ms, it was over four hours long, four and a bit hours long. So things kept getting cut, including that bloody awful song that the child sings. Um, it's on the, it's on the album, but it's not on the,

Not in the musical. Little people know when little people find a fly can fly around the side, but I don't care. And I remember that used to happen on the barricade after Eponine had died. You know, that moving moment. We're all in tears. And then this little child would get up and sing this song. And I said, I remember saying to Trevor Nunn, do you know, I don't think I'd be singing this because I'm quite grief-stricken because Eponene's dead.

So I probably won't sing this one and bob around. And then one by one, everyone in the cast is going, do you know, I think my character would have been really affected by the death of Eponim. So I don't think I'd be singing this. There were three people left singing who would sing anything. And so then they cut this on. But yeah, with empty chairs, they're going, on paper, you can cut it. You know, it can go straight from Marius being saved from the sewers into every,

day you walk with longer step, you walk with stronger step after turning, for those people who know the show. And I said, this is my second big job, and my first West End, and I'm a very new boy. But I said, if you do that, I can't do this show. I really can't, because it makes no sense. Marius becomes nothing, and he needs it. And they knew that, but they're just worried about time. You know, they don't want to pay the orchestra over time. But they kept it.

Thank goodness. They saw sense. You've been in the greatest ones. I mean, you really, really have. You've done them all really. Be really lucky. And then obviously we end on hairspray where you still, you shocked my daughter by getting your breasts out and asking her to squeeze them.

And let's just leave it there. Let's not tell anybody what we mean by that. Because my daughter, who still loves you, even though you did that. That didn't frighten her, I hope. No, but she does. I still can't quite believe. that Michael Ball took his breasts out and asked me to touch them. Okay, we can't just leave it. Leave it. Leave it. Leave them wondering what we mean.

Just leave it. Okay. Nobody will know. When, so you do. We maybe explain it later. And your daughter. You know, you want to pay for the counselling? You carry on. She's at university now. She's coping disorder. Oh my God. She's lovely your daughter. Well, Mike, I've got good girls.

And they adore you. And what's so sweet is that, and I have to, at university, she has, she loves you, as you know. And she has you and Alfie's albums. When everybody else is doing all this sort of dance music and going completely, she's, I just listen to Michael. Oh, bless her. Bless her.

I've taught her well. That's a proper girl. But now when, so you did lay miss, but then suddenly, very quickly you became a, for once for a better expression, a pop star and a household name, and Eurovision only happened a few years after that. How did that happen? That happened because of aspects.

Yeah, because love. Love changes. I love. Love changes everything. And so that got me into the charts. And, you know, it was a big hit. So I signed a record deal. And I went and did, aspects on Broadway.

And I had a really big think about what I wanted to do next. And I realized, the office were coming in for me to come back and do other musicals. And I thought, if I do that, then that's all I'm going to do. That's where my career will lie. And I think I want to, I want to be above the title, basically. I wanted to, and you couldn't make a name for yourself. I think the last person who really made a proper name for themselves from musical theatre would have been Elaine, Paige,

who's a slightly older generation. So I thought this is, and shows now had become about the big show as opposed to who's starring in them. The Les Mises and the Phantoms, although Michael Crawford started it with Sarah Brightman, it then became about the show. And Miss Saigon was about the show. You'd put a star in to get it going,

but then it was about the show. It wasn't, they weren't star vehicles. And I wanted to make a name for myself. So I came back and I thought, I'm not going to do, I'm not going to do musicals for a bit. And this is around the time as well, of course, that Kathy and I were together right at the beginning. She was giving such great advice to me.

And she said, you need to go into the studio. I signed a record deal with Universal. And I made an album, which was, was really bad. I remember us. We made it and she and she came around and I said this is this is not good. You can't release this. And at that time, the BBC then had a, uh, came to me and said, we've got this idea for Eurovision. We want to redo it. We want you to do all the songs. Uh, you'll go on to Wogan every week and, uh, present them and then they'll be a special and then the nation will choose, which one they want to go forward to represent. And, you know,

I'm thinking, this is 92, so I'm thinking Eurovision, it's a bit naf. Is it a bit naf? It's fun. I mean, I love it, but is it a career move or is it career suicide? I thought, well, no, let's take the plunge. It gives me a chance to showcase me doing other things, the musical theatre, and it might work. And thank God it did. It did work.

Of course it worked. It worked really well for me. So I was then able to start on this other trajectory with a career. So I remember that year, 92, it was my 30th birthday. And so we'd come second in the May, I think it was, April, May for a Eurovision, released a new album that had been produced by Mike Smith from the Dave Clark Five, who became one of my closest friends, who Kathy had put me in touch with. and he produced the Eurovision single

and I found myself and I would have sworn if you talked to me at college what will never happen to you I'll never have a number one record I know that but that's not where my career will go but I found myself it sounds awfully flashed but I don't care

30th birthday sold out a couple of nights at Hammersmith Odian as it was then with the number one album and being presented with a gold disc by Cameron McIntosh on the night. And I kind of went, yeah, this is good. This is, this is amazing. And so I stopped doing musicals for after Aspix for about seven years

and concentrated on that other area of my career. But you did. So that was the same time. I remember going into the Big Breakfast and you came on the Big Breakfast and you were, you know, people weren't sure whether you were a musical theatre a pop star. And then you started doing presenting. And I remember you even back all those years ago.

In fact, I remember a night, a very drunken night in a club in London. In Soho House, in fact, it was. And you were standing on a chair singing. And we were all there and I walked in. And I said, you're a presenter now. And you just, and then so you started presenting on this chair. And it was one of those moments. And everybody looked and said, how do you know him?

And I said, he was at college with me, we all fancied him. And they went, Michael Ball, how come you were at college? It was one of those sort of bizarre things. I remember being there. And Savage was there. Paul O'Grady, as I always call him, Savages, you know. So Paul was there as well. You were standing on the chair.

You were presenting. You were singing. You were everything. And then I think I just, because I remember having this conversation with you. You were saying, why aren't you a TV presenter? You said, they've offered me, I can't remember what your first TV gig was. But was it your own show on a show? ITV?

Yeah. It was the ITV show. Where was that? And it's, do you know, when was it? Yeah. 94? Yes. Oh my gosh.

Yeah. Yeah. And do you know what? It's a shame I did it then. I didn't know what I was doing. Well, like all these things, you don't, I didn't know the gig. I didn't know what I was meant to do. But you were, no, Michael, don't say that because you did it and you did it really, really well.

I did it. No, I did it. I did it okay. What was amazing with that was all. the guests that came on that I got to sing with. But it was deemed really old-fashioned. When I, you know, and it was kind of a throwback. You know, guest, the presenter comes on.

I sang a song. I then present another interview and somebody gets on and sings a song. I sing another song, commercial break. Then the headlining guests comes on. I sing with them. I close the show with another song. So six songs, half an hour. show. And it was kind of an old format. But it worked and it was the success. But yeah. Well,

we only had two seasons of it. I know, but people talked about it. And it made people realise that you were a presenter now as well. Yeah, I guess so. I guess so. But I learnt in that period of time so much about the art of presenting, which is very different. I mean, you do it instinctively. I need to learn these things. But what was nice is I was a, I was a to do all the other, juggle the other balls at the same time. And, and, yeah, as I say, I wish I'd had that opportunity for the TV, just with different circumstances. Having said which, I'm quite happy with the way everything has worked out.

Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, I'm not worried about it. But you know, you want to look at something and go, oh, no, that was great, that was good. But I should have had better script written. Do you know what? Can you do me a favour? Can you really, can you change that then in your head and just say, actually, it was great?

Because it was, I mean, I really do. And I think that that sort of television, obviously because you now do it with Alfie. So when you do your Christmas specials with Alfie, it's a similar sort of thing. And people love it. It's warm. It's kind. It's family. It's engaging.

So please, if you can, shift the way you think of that. All right. I will. I do regret the haircut, though, in the second. series. I had decided that's it, I'm going to have long, flowing blonde locks. And some of it looks a little bit dodgy. It was, I mean, guess he was cutting my hair at the time.

Nikki Clark, so I looked exactly like Nikki. He only ever cut people's hair to look like himself. It was very funny. Yeah, so I look, and coloured like his. So, yeah, it's quite funny looking back at those pictures. Oh, that's so funny. Oh, my word. But what's what, you know, the presenting side of it now you do the one show.

You obviously have your Sunday show on Radio 2, which is completely has you through and through. And I know you love it. It sounds like you love it. I hope you love it. Yeah, that's properly me. My radio show is properly me. And you know, especially over this last year, it's been so important to me. So important, I think, to a lot of the listeners.

that feeling of connection, that feeling of, and I try, you know, I don't shy away from the things that are happening, but I try and be positive. I try and make people think, like for two hours, let's just have a smile, let's focus on the good things that are happening. Hallelujah. And you have to. You can't ignore, and we always pay tribute to the sad things that are happening

and that we're dealing with. But fundamentally, it's a positive. message. It's got to be. I'm going to come back to this last year because obviously your album that you've written, oh my God, I've listened. Congratulations. You heard the whole album yet? It made me cry. It made me cry. I've heard three tracks. It made me cry. That's completely true. But also with Captain Sir Tom, we'll talk about that. But I just want to go back if we may just again to something that you talk about very openly. And that's about anxiety and confidence and stage fright and all of those things. It's very interesting because hearing you talk about all

these things and there I am saying everyone fancied you at college and there you were standing up in a club. We'd all had a lot to drink. I was singing embarrassing songs at you. But people expect you, me, you know, lots of us to be incredibly confident. I talk very openly about that I can be crippled with shyness. You talk very openly about anxiety and not feeling as confident. And actually, I think it's really important that you talk about it because anybody who's a fan of yours, anybody who knows you would say, Michael Ball can do anything. He can sing. He can dance. He produces musicals. He can go on stage. He can be on live television. He can do all of that. But inside, there are moments of you where you have that self-doubt and anxiety.

I think everyone does. And to a greater or lesser extent. And I'm glad. I didn't talk about it literally to anyone when it when it when I was going through the problems the problem started in Les Mis and um which was my biggest mistake I should have got help and it wouldn't have been such a painful journey for me having said which I I managed to turn things around for myself and it's it makes you very very aware of how vulnerable we are and can be at any time and to look out for the warning signs that things are spiraling downwards

and to try and stop that. And I do know that when I did start being very open about this and people weren't talking about mental health when I first started mentioning this, it did start a conversation with fans and people who read these interviews and heard me talking where they said, yeah, that's exactly how we feel, that we've had this.

And you realize so many people have suffered bouts of panic attacks and anxiety and confidence issues throughout their lives. And I think that's just part of us. That's part of the human psyche. And people suffer to a greater or lesser extent. The most important thing is that we understand it. We empathize and we get help. and help usually is just talking and understanding the triggers for it,

understanding finding little techniques to deal with it. Quite often, for me, a lot of the time things would happen because I was simply exhausted. I was run down. And I've always made it my credo that when I'm on stage, when I'm doing an interview, when I'm presenting whatever, I give it 100% and I present a positive image. No one wants someone miserable.

But that can take its toll when that ends and you come down and real life is around you. And your mind can spiral. So it's looking after yourself as much as you can physically, which I never used to do. And finding those warning signs and the triggers. Have you ever had a panic attack, Gabs? Only when I was at Guilford. I had it once on stage at Guilford, and it was the most horrible feeling ever

because I forgot my lines. And then somebody from the prompt corner shouted it out, and I thought, oh no! But I'm very shy. I'm desperately shy at moments. And we talk about it quite a lot on this podcast. But I think that interesting, the reason I asked you about it

before we talked about the COVID year, was because there are a lot of people who now even more will talk about anxiety, shyness, fear, worry. Because of being in, I sort of, I don't want to keep using the word lockdown. Okay. I feel that it's such a, it is, it was a negative time. But it's sort of, it just, we were sort of prisoners. But I think a lot of people now are feeling as you have done in the past. And so your album's about, I know, talking about all of that.

and how you felt and how many people felt and looking to the future. But how you cope with anxiety would be a great help for people who've now maybe just had it for the first time, who are now scared to leave their front door, who are now scared to go back to work, who are scared to do the things that they were doing 16 months ago. Well, the first thing I would suggest is they look for some kind of professional advice. Now that doesn't mean, oh my God, I've got to go and talk to my doctor and find a counselor and I've got to do there.

There are plenty of things like podcasts, things like that you can read little tricks. First of all, understand this isn't a way of life. This can change. This is just this is a blip. This is happening now, but it can be dealt with and dealt with successfully. And sometimes really easily. it's a mindset it's it's

trusting that you can trick your mind in a way what these things I think that they grow and grow you have the negative thought you think what if I forget my lines and then that takes you out of the moment

so then you start thinking I have forgotten my line I can't remember my next line you don't trust yourself that something will come out something will happen and if it doesn't It's not the end of the world. It's embarrassing and it's or it can be funny. You know, it's your, it's your, it's how you choose to interpret what's happening that will have the, the role on effect.

So it's a way of dis, I can only talk about me personally. I, I concentrate on breathing. And if you regulate yourself physically by breathing. by consciously dropping shoulders, by physically changing your position, that will have an effect on your brain and what your brain is thinking. And then the little triggers that are going in your head, you have to stop them. So there are little techniques, there are tapping techniques that you can use,

that are very discreet, that will just distract your mind. And then the most important, the most important lesson that we can all learn, is this two shall pass. You know, you're not dying. The panic attack is a physical manifestation of the adrenaline and so rushing through your body, the fight and flight, but it doesn't go on forever. You're not dying.

It is going to stop. So you just have to ride it. For me personally, what I found on stage when I have, and I still get them, you have this rush of anxiety, I try and in my mind turn it into a wave that I ride. And I think, okay, I know I have this physical surge of adrenaline or I presume it's adrenaline rushing through my body. I'm going to ride it as opposed to drown in it.

And I use it then to inform what I'm doing and trust that I'll get there. That's great. That I can get through this song. And it actually makes. make me perform better. And it easily does. That's fantastic advice.

That really is. For anybody, whatever it is, if that fear is there, instead of battling it, you just ride it. It's very interesting because, you know, I mean, I actually love getting nervous for live television. And Terry Wogan, who you just spoke about, the late great Terry Wogan, who we both knew very well, he always used to say, it's not brain surgery, it's only television. you know and and it's the same with you saying about remembering the words of a song if you were to say the wrong words of the song people would think did he do no he didn't you know it's and what difference is it going to make to their do you know what I mean it's such

a exactly to you it's such a huge it's huge for us but for other people we were in that night when it went wrong oh it made it so special yes I mean there are times when you really I did a I I did a Wednesday matinee of Aspects and the opening of aspect. I've told this story before. Stop me if you've heard it. The opening of aspects is love changes everything. You just have a chord of music. I come on with one of my co-stars staring up at me,

just her back to the audience, me, centre stage, a chord, and I start singing Love Chen News, everything. And, you know, nine months into a run, it's a wet Wednesday. I've sung this song a thousand times. And I'm not nervous in the slightest. And I come out and the chord of music. happens and I sing love, love changes everything, hands and faces, earth and sky. And then I completely lost the words. And I just kept repeating, love changes everything, hands and faces earth and sky.

Love changes everything, hands and faces earthen. So of course, my co-star sitting with her back to the audience is just killing herself laughing. She thinks it's the funniest thing she's ever heard. I'm going, I have no clue what the words of this song is. And thank the good Lord, there was a lovely little old lady surrounded by a matinee shopping bags, mouthing the words to me. No.

Because she knew it was over. Yeah. And that's how I got it back. Oh, I love that. Oh, I'm notorious. I am notorious. Everyone will tell you, I will make up. And I never, I never don't sing. Something will come out of my mouth.

but it's usually You're naughty You're naughty I am naughty No I'm not You are Yes you are You love a giggle

You like to make other people laugh I know you do But I only I never do it so an audience can't see An audience mustn't ever know But when you come out And you're in We were in Phantom

The scene in the mausoleum Where he's firing the fireballs At us It's just me Christine and the Factor Raul Christine and the Phantom Tense scene And I'm meant to sing

Angel of Darkness Cease this torment And I went Angel of Shna-Dar Stum-Dum Toilet Now you try singing something after that The others couldn't sing a word

Oh that's fantastic See actually no And it's perfect time We are going to come on to the album next But perfect time Because the thing that I ask In this podcast to everybody is what makes you properly belly laugh

Now you are Once you start giggling, I've seen you completely lose it. So what makes you really, really laugh and lose it? On stage? Anywhere. You, Michael Ball, you. What makes you laugh? Oh, this is so low and so base.

And people are going to be going, oh, that's disgusting. Farts. Farts are the funniest thing on God's green earth. You mean real ones or just the noise? Real. No problem. proper, proper, proper ones, with the noise and everything in the companies and people's reaction to them and the inappropriateness of them and the base humanity of them. So you can be the most pompous burke on earth.

If you do one of those, you're one of us. Do you know, I can't believe it. If they happen on stage, I've gone. I'm absolutely gone. And they do. Have you let Rip on stage? Oh, too appalling one. that, oh my God, I can't tell this story.

Yes, you can, yes, you can, yes, you can. This is a public story. Okay, I'm apologising now to everyone listening. Please don't think so ill at me. We've all done. Aspects of love, there's a really tender scene towards the end where Jenny, who's in love with my character, Alex, she's my niece, is lying in bed and she pulled back the bed clothes.

And she sings, Alex, let me hold you. I've got so much on my mind. And in silence, pulls back the bed sheets and I have to turn round, think about it, walk to her slowly and make the decision to get into bed. And because I do that, the uncle comes on,

hears us, Uncle George comes on, has a heart attack, dies. It's the pivotal moment of the piece. And she did this, this lovely young girl playing Diana Morrison and Alex let me hold you I've got so much on my mind pulled back the sheets and as I turn

dead silence in the theatre I let out the loudest flabbiest wuffle you've ever ever in your life heard to the extent where the front rows of the audience are going oh my God

and this poor girl is looking at me and she and then I have to walk to her and get into the bed and then she has to do that she couldn't sing it it turned into a ballet I'm just heaving with love uncle George had heard it in the wings comes on has a heart attack dies his dead body is shaking with laughter it was it's that it's that it's it's those things that you think are they're so inappropriate they're so wrong

There's nothing. Everyone understands you can't help it. There's nothing can be done. But it just, talk about destroying the fourth wall. Oh, that is not what I thought you were going to say. Yeah. So do you have a fart machine at home? Do you remember those old plastic fart machines? No, no, but I, there has been. Who was it who had it on staff? Oh, Brian Blessed in Chitty. He would hide one on stage and let it go for people, which of course killed me. Absolutely destroyed.

Do you have whoopi cushions around the house? I imagine you're not. No, no. They have to be real. No, they have to be real. She must love you very dearly to be with you for almost 30 years. 30 years of putting up with your farts. But no, it's not like I do it all the time.

You know, there's just something about nerves. Just on stage. Oh, don't judge me. Of course I am. Everyone's got the wrong impression of me. Everyone's got the wrong opinion of me. No, they haven't. They know you well.

They are the funniest things. No, I don't know you're going to go there, but thank you for that. Now we're going to go back to your album. Suddenly, it's... Oh, such class. I know, they're thinking of that really classy Michael Ball. Oh, no, what have I done? Oh, no, I love that.

I love it and I love it for it. So you have actually written this album in lockdown to commemorate lockdown. I mean, you and Captain Tom, that was something so beautiful. And what a man, what a man, what he did for this country was amazing. And you two having that single. But this is the album. It's we are more than one. Now, I listened to the single that, so funny, you've put it everywhere.

And I know Radio 2 are playing it, which is fantastic. But it made me cry. Oh. I mean, properly, no, but it properly made me cry because the words are really, they're you aren't they? That's how you feel. Yeah, yes. The whole album is me.

And it was a springboard from what happened. You know, we were all going through our own problems and journeys. I got sick very quick, very early in March through the virus, so I'd have to leave the show, the radio show. Of course, hairspray, we'd done two days of rehearsal. That got cancelled. I then felt really ill, Kath got ill. I went back to do my radio show.

And the first, I'm talking to my producer there, I said, we need to find some positive things, some positive stories. And I'd seen this news report on Captain Tom. I said, I think he'd be lovely to have on the show. You know, it's a wonderful story. This is a lovely man. Can we see if we can get him on? And we got him on on on Sunday.

And he'd done incredibly well. You know, he'd had, I think, over £100,000 at that time. And did the interview with him and with Hannah and asked the listener to get behind this. And over £200,000 came in just in that hour. And the next day, he was on breakfast television on the Monday. And then it erupted. We know what happened with that. And so because I'd sort of formed a bond with him,

and I've been there right at the beginning, they said, come back, the BBC phoned and said, he's going to do his hundred flap. Why don't you come on and be, and surprise him with the song, because we know you get on. So I did that. I was up and I sang.

I thought, what song's going to be appropriate? I thought, never walk alone. That'll be lovely. Did a couple of lines of it. And I saw him singing along. And I genuinely, as a kind of, a quip as you do. I said, oh, Tom, we should do this as a duet. And as we finished talking and I came off there, I went, do you know what? One earth is stopping us. He could be number one for his

hundredth birthday if we can make this happen. This is on the Thursday. And in order for it to be eligible to be number one for his 100th birthday, I had it had to be out by Friday morning. That was the only way it would be eligible. So I just phoned the family and said, can you get Tom to, first of all, just talk a bit of, you never walk alone into his phone. And he did, but then he couldn't stop singing it. So I had this, this, which I've still got pride of place in my computer, of just him, a cappella, singing, you'll never walk alone, and speaking the world. And speaking the words like poetry. And then I galvanized everyone around me and we finished at three o'clock in the morning and was able to send it across so it was available for download and Zoe was able to play it

on the breakfast show on the Friday. And we got into number one. It was, it was, you know, it's one of those things that you, it's, it's synergy. It was meant to be. And it made me realize I wanted to do something. I needed to do something that I couldn't just sit and and I did a lot of it, but just sit and eat lot of food and watch box sets. And I then understood the technology that was available for us, that there was a way that I could be creative. And also in the last show before lockdown, I'd had Amy Wodge on my show, who is one of the greatest singer-songwriters in this country. She wrote Thinking Out Loud with Ed Shearer and she's

Grammy winning. She writes for everybody and we clicked. You know when you meet someone and you just go, you're my best friend now for life. Wonderful. Yeah. She properly is. And she said oh, if ever you think of writing, please get in touch. I promise you know, we can do something. And you know, you say things like that in this business and you never do. And I sat down, I went, do you know what? I'm bloody well going to do it.

And I called her and she went, thank you. Great. Let's do this. Here's what you need to get delivered. A little focus right amplifier. This nice but not expensive microphone. A program will help you to set it up. Her and Alex are a protégé.

They remotely set up this little recording facility that I'm sat at now. And we went on a Zoom chat for three. She said something, nothing may come of it, but let's have a go. Three hours. Have a think about what you want to write. I didn't want to turn up with nothing. So the very last track on the album, you probably won't have heard it yet. It's called The Song Will Remember.

I wrote an entire lyric and turned up and read it to her. And she went, okay, that's not normally how songwriting goes, but this is great. So straight away we had a song. We worked on a melody. And so I had a pretty good demo. right at the end of the first session, which gave me encouragement, gave me confidence. And then we would just get on the computer and sit and write. She said, I want you to meet someone.

She'd then phone her friend Liz Rose, one of the greatest writers in Nashville, wrote for Taylor Swift and Carrie Underwood. And the three of us were on there. And we would just spitball ideas and run with, with things and nine times out of ten these things connected they worked and we started i started coming up with all these these words and these lyrics and ideas for the structure of a song and for that summer it was the most just me and you know how hot it was and i've no air conditioning they're stuck in this little sweatbox writing this album and uh the best that the lovely thing gab to be a

able to do it to then come off, make a little demo, to then sit and think, how do I want harmonies to go and just be able to play around myself with things, be able to take down stairs to Kath because just the two of us in the house and go, what do you think of this? Love it. Go away and work, get other people involved. And then gradually, as the demo has got into shape, be brave enough to play them to friends and management and record companies. And they're going, yeah, this is working. Write an album. And so I did.

I mean, I've dabbled in songwriting. You know, I've done a few bits here and there. I had four tracks on the last album. So, and thank goodness I had. So I kind of had got an idea. But that was done very ad hoc and on the fly. It wasn't a concentrated, you're going to sit down and write a song in three hours.

So to have that concentration, that focus, and so much inspiration around. you know, all the thoughts that all of us were thinking. I haven't seen my dad for a year. He's 87. Haven't seen my mum, she's 87. Time is precious. The good things that were happening,

the realization that we need people, the less we're seeing of people, the more we need them, that the woman I'm with, I love, and I want to tell her, I love her. the I mean spurious things there's the second track

on the on the album called God willing and a fair wind well that is one of my phrases you know I'll see you next week God willing and a fair wind and I said this and Liz Rose went that's a brilliant expression I've never heard it before

and it's what my grand used to say all the time so you take that idea and you think what am I trying to say with that and it's yeah there's positivity Do you know what's so lovely, though, Michael, is that when I, you know, I've sent the track listings and it says, sung by Michael Ball, written by Michael Ball and then produced by Michael. And I was reading it through. And I thought, oh, you must feel so, well, I hope you do feel so proud. Genuinely, yeah, and I really, I promise you, yeah, of anything I've ever done.

I love, I've made, you know, 23 albums or something, solo albums. But the new normally covers Or songs that have been written for me To have have This came from left field I wasn't planning on this at all And to have have First of all found the motivation to do it

When I wasn't motivated You know it would have been very easy To have done nothing But then having seen Tom do what he did And I thought no we have to do something We can't just veg it It's fine if you don't want to to. That's not a judgment, but I know if I didn't do something, it wouldn't end well for me.

So to do that and to literally go from the seed of an idea sitting down and and as my song says, we are not alone. It's other people's input as well. You know, Nick Patrick, the producer of the album, great mate, being involved with him. We've managed four days in September when I distance was able to get five musicians into a studio and just say, because I could play an instrument and say, this is what I'm hearing, this is what I want, to put down some basic tracks. And because they hadn't played for so long or done anything,

their artistic creativity was off the scale. So they're bringing stuff, and they were just so excited to be part of it, and they're mates of mine, so they were poor in their heart and soul into it. So it was the most organic. It sounds so cheesy. No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't.

It's the most organic and proper, proper creative process with literally no influence from anyone else other than those people I brought on board. And to now be here and it's there and it's ready to be released. Well, it is. By the time people hear this, it's out. It is out there. And it will be, it's going to go to that.

Look, congratulations on being number one. The best way to end this is you have to end with another song. So can we just have a little bit of your new one, please? Which one do you want? Do you know what? Where's the lyric to... Can you hear I'm bringing out all my lyrics? I love that.

That's proper. That's real. Oh, I don't know which one to do, though, Gads. Do whichever one you want. Do sing whichever one, just a little bit of whichever one you want to sing. If I never see another sunrise, if I never hear another song, if I never reach the dream I'm dreaming, you'll be the one to keep me strong when I'm lost and I'm going nowhere and the road looks cold and long.

You'll be the one that you'll be the place that I will always run to, oh darling you'll the one, be the one, be the one, I'll always run to be the one, be the one, I'll always turn to be the one, be the one, you'll be the one. That was off the top of my head. That wasn't the words. I made a few changes. This is the trouble. I never remember lyrics properly. I love that. I'm always changing us. Do you know what? I love that. I love you. and you were a joy and long may you rain, my darling, and carry on doing what you do, because you do it wonderfully, and you do bring joy,

and you make people smile. I've heard, I mean, I've obviously, I mean, I've known you for a long time, but I was doing all my research, and I was watching stuff back on YouTube, and people love you and continue just doing what you do, please. Oh, stop it. No, you love what you do. I also wind a lot of people up,

as well and that's fine too. Yeah, you're allowed. You're allowed. And keep farting, but not in my, nowhere near me. Thank you, Mr Michael Ball, OBE. Yeah. Oh, thank you, Gabs. I love that. That Gabby Rawlsend podcast is proudly produced by Cameo Productions. Music by Beth McCari. Could you please tap the follow or subscribe button? And thank you so much for your reviews. I promise that the team and I have read them all and we really are rather overwhelmed and they really me and the world to us, so thank you so much. If you kindly leave a review or a comment, that would be lovely. Thank you.