That Gaby Roslin Podcast: Reasons To Be Joyful - Vex King (and his wife Kaushal)

Episode Date: September 29, 2026

Author and positive energy spreader, Vex King, joins Gaby for a chat about joy and love and positivity. We're also joined by Vex's wife - Kaushal - his biggest champion, and another joy spreader! They chat about how they met, about kindness, love - and why their mission is to spread kindness and positivity wherever they go. Vex's books have sold millions of copy worldwide and give advice to those who are seeking a spiritual guide, emotional healing and good energy. His books are focused on self-love and help people all over the world.

Vex King, it is a complete and utter joy in every single way to see you again, chat to you again, talk about your new book, but also get to meet your wife at last. A surprise guest and it was unplanned. She came just to be a cheerleader. Oh, Coach, how lovely to meet you. So lovely, but you're about positivity too. So the two of you, please will you tell me, at home, is your house just floating? because there's no negativity. There's just you both put out positivity and kindness.

And really, really, from my heart, thank you for that. Because right now the world needs more of you. They really, really, really do. I think you're such a big advocate of that as well. And you do as well. And your top actually represents it because you are just pure light and sunshine. So thank you as well. Should we just end it there?

We've just praised you. See you. Bye. So let's, we're going to obviously talk. about the book, we're going to talk about all your extraordinary, your knowledge and your thought and your heart and your soul. I mean, you're a very, very wise man. You must have been on this planet many, many, many times. But let's talk about you two. How did you meet? Tell me everything. I want all of it. You're all the God. Yes. Do you want to tell me? Okay, I was trying

I'm going to do like a really condensed aversion. I knew of him. He knew of me. Our paths never crossed until we were like, right, we're not looking for any relationships. We're just like going to enjoy life. And then, bam, we met. And we weren't looking to coincidence. So we were on this self-love journey.

So the funny thing is we went to the same middle school. We didn't know each other. You're joking. She moved to America, still hadn't crossed paths when she came. back and then I was in my final year of university and we were both in the smoking area of a club and we don't smoke. So we just happened to be there accompanying people that do smoke. I love that.

And we just started speaking and then, yeah, and we both told ourselves that we wouldn't jump into another relationship because we were focused on ourselves. But you know, some things are just meant to be. Yeah, literally meant to be. So how long is it eight years? No, no. It knows. Married for eight.

And together, seven. Yeah. Wow. So I was right about the eight years. Yes. Yeah. Oh, my word. You've known each other that long.

Yeah. So who is the, who's the guide with this incredible knowledge, it's incredible knowledge, it's incredible insight, this incredible kindness. Is it a case of both of you following this light or did one of you follow the light and the other one? How did all this come about? So I'd actually love to answer that because I think. Love the way you're asking each other. It's so sweet.

I think, so when Coachel came into my life, you can tell straight away, she's just this like bundle of, not just energy, but this just is light. And yeah, she's so positive. Whereas I think the way I grew up, I was still protecting myself. I had this kind of like shell on me

because I didn't want to get hurt. And I think she really opened my eyes up to that the world is actually kinder than I first realized. So I think she, introduced me to this idea of kindness. And I saw it in a very tangible sense through her. Like, there was no ulterior, like, motives. There was no other intentions. She just wanted to love me unconditionally. So she, I guess, is the catalyst for opening my heart. And then, yeah,

that created the change. I would say there's a lot of synergy. It's like, if I'm, let's say, not feeling as good and I work on the wrong side of the bench. But everybody does. Yeah. And it He is so good to be able to pick me up from that. And likewise, when it's the other way around, I'm also there to pick him up. And I think that's why it just really works. And we really just kind of like bounce off of each other in that sense. And we've, in a sense, always been like this, but actually getting married and living together and having to actually live with a boy and realize, oh, wait, I thought I was living in, like, la-di-da world, like, you know, fairy tale world.

that's when as much as it was like really great we learned so much more about each other and actually how what makes us tick and how we can actually overcome kind of lumps and bumps and bumps along the way so how do you do that because a lot of people obviously find that very difficult um but 17 years together eight years married and you're still smiling and it feels like you two were on honeymoon which is wonderful that you know what advice do you give people because obviously you because your platform is all about positivity as well and make Am I right? Yeah.

Beauty. But, you know, sort of what advice do you give people? Because you give advice, Fex, your books are extraordinary. They're just, they're perfect. And I really, that's for, I really, really mean. Thank you so much. But how do you, for you to, what sort of thing you say to somebody? Okay, you're entering a relationship.

You know what? You should try this. I think it's so important. And, you know, sometimes it can sound cliche to people. But I think that. The healthiest our relationship has been is when we're actually loving ourselves individually. And we bring that wholeness into the relationship rather than acting on our wounds when we have disagreements or looking for the other person to feel a piece of us inside of us. Oh yeah.

I feel like just speaking from my point of view, since going to therapy, but six, seven years ago, that's what really made me come into my own and realize what makes me tick. take a step back and not let my emotions get the better of me, which I used to back in the day and sometimes it creeps up every now and again. But it is really true what you said. It's like the more internal work you do, the more you're able to give in your relationship. And I'm not just saying that in a romantic way, but also in platonic ways of your family or with your friends or with colleagues, it's one of those things of like if you are having a crap day, you're more likely to take it out on other people or other things. But actually, if you're able to handle that bad today better, who will then still be able to show up for other people, because you've got the

tools there. You know how to work through the things going on in your... And I think we communicate really well. And if we have a disagreement, like, and I say, for example, I just need a moment, or she says she needs a moment, we have our own kind of individual practices to ground ourselves. So, Coach will might go on a walk with our dog, who's called Tupac. I might meditate or I might write some notes down. and then we go into the conversation with some clarity instead of like charged up. Just going straight out. Yeah.

That's really good advice actually for everybody. It's having that moment of time out. Vex, you're the words that you share with everybody. And I've asked you this before. Yeah. And you said, I can't really answer it. But I'm going to ask you again, where do they come from? You, this wisdom.

I mean, it's, you are a very, very, very wise soul. That's very kind of you. Thank you. I think a lot of it comes from experiences that I've gone through. So I think I've always self-reflected, like I've just observed the world. And I've always asked questions, like why, especially growing up facing homelessness and just, you know, unkind situations. I've always asked like, you know, why do people act like that? Why has, you know, a God or creator put me in this position?

and I've always asked questions and then I've tried to understand myself by writing things down. And I think that's where the writing element comes down from. It's me trying to understand myself and make sense of my emotions. I also observe a lot of other people's experiences. So a lot of the stuff I write about isn't just my own experiences and what I've been through. It's what I've seen through other people. But also, I think one of my best skills is listening. So I listen to people and I hear their problems.

I hear the pain beneath what they're saying. And then I think the natural instinct in me is, I want to try and alleviate that. And I think that's where the compassion comes in. You're a healer. I want to try and support people. And that's what I try to do through my writing. But, you know, kosher will say herself, like sometimes there was a, it was in, it was like a few months ago, right? When it was the heat wave and we were outside like some baby on a sun loungers.

And I just had a really random thought. And I said, sorry, I need to quickly go and just write. something down and I did. Like sometimes inspiration just comes naturally and I just feel like I need to put it to paper. I feel like my husband's very, very, very modest. I would say, being his wife and his personal PR, he's very, very modest and he, I don't think he takes the credit that he's due. But we were talking on the way here, actually, and we were talking about how actually

I truly believe he is a vessel and he allows a lot of the information to come to him. and he's just got this really special gift, which I know he won't say, so I will say, because I see it from externally watching him, and it is really, really, really special how he is so in tune with himself, but also how he's so mindful and thoughtful and looks at things from such a bird's eye point of view, whether it's like friends or family that have come with problems or whether someone sends him a DM or whether, I don't know, there's something that we've read somewhere, he really looks at things in a way that I just feel like is so special. And I truly believe that you are...

I'm not married to you and I think the same. There we go. But what's so extraordinary about your writing, Vex, is that... And now more than ever we need it. It feels as if you're answering all that negativity, all that very... I mean, it's very bleak.

It's very dark. The news is really alarming for a lot of people. And I think once they start doom scrolling, they don't stop. I know that the three of us want to put up positivity. I'm very lucky that I get positivity back because that's what I put in. But once you start looking at a new story about let's not mention any of those certain men at the moment, or some women as well, let's be honest, around the world. But there's so much darkness that

it's, we need you now more than ever. And I feel that you're answering, you're, you're, you're shouting back at the dark to try and shatter it into pieces to create the light. Yeah. And I think it's so important to be authentic about it because I think especially like one thing I will say that I do is I'm always learning from people. So my audience as well. So sometimes I might make a post and someone will say like what about so and so, right? And you know, we can say that maybe they're taking a post out of context. But at the same time, sometimes they're challenging my thinking. So something I haven't thought about. So I'm trying to spread as much light as possible without denying the dark.

I'm trying to show people that you can count your blessings without denying your problem. So the way I want to kind of relay the positivity is that we can find hope and optimism during difficult times, but we can do it in a way where we're not suppressing our emotions, we're not just turning a blind eye to what's actually happening with us. And that's how my, I suppose, my work has changed over the years. Whereas I still want to spread positivity and I'm still a massive believer in it. And I can truly say, apart from the one wobble that I had recently, I literally wake up. And I think I'm in a very privileged position to be able to say this because I think for 30 years of my life, I didn't wake up like this.

But I think now I wake up content with my life every day. I don't wake up, you know, screaming and shouting. But it's a very kind of subtle feeling of, okay, I'm in a good space right now. you know, I've reached a lot of the life goals I had. Obviously, I can keep moving the bar and I can keep setting new goals. But, you know, one of my biggest life goals was to free my mum because, you know, she struggled for her in time. Well, let's actually, do you know what, let's go to those stories because I think that's important for people who don't know those stories. I'm very lucky that I do because we've spoken before. But your life was not like it is now

no, growing up. Yeah. So my dad passed away when I was six months old. My family, and I were, so actually one of the businesses that my mum had with a toxic family member went bankrupt and then we were technically homeless, so not on the streets, we were moving around from hostels and living different family members and then eventually we got a council home, but it's filled with racism. Yeah, I mean, that's, I remember you telling me about the racism that you, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. It was difficult at the time because, you know, for me, I remember like my first, one of my first

memories as me taking a ball outside and then having literally every kid on the block just stare at me and shout racist abuse saying you need to go back home and eventually because I was like overwhelmed I went inside I told my mom and she's like I just don't play outside don't worry and then you know I tried to go outside again like weeks later every time I went outside I had to fight the kids and I was like I wasn't a fight do you know how this is how I know I was kind of wearing a mask because when I was rejected by these kids, like they would come and kick me or something and I don't want to hurt them back,

so I would just kind of, you know, go along with it. Then eventually, you know, I'd get really beat up. I'd chase them, get the better of them, because I just had this like innate willpower. Like, no, this country belongs to me as well. And if I'd hurt the kid, I'd actually ask them if they were who came up. So I wasn't a fighter, but I felt like I had to be. And then because it got too much, I remember going back home once and saying to mum, like, I just, you know, because I would, I go and say, I'm bored and I'm bored.

And I'm like, there's just no point. Every time I go outside, like they take my ball, have to chase them, have to fight them. Sometimes their moms will knock on the door saying, your son's punched my kid. But I'm like, the context is missing because they were like ridiculing me for hours on end. But yeah, difficult circumstances. Even our neighbours, they would knock on our door, like, at midnight, shouting racist abuse. And then we had a washing machine once on our front lawn that we needed to dispose of. And I remember it being like probably at 2 a.m. on a Saturday.

They put fireworks inside the washing machine. It exploded. So I'm sleeping and I hear an explosion. And then I hear, you know, through the letterbox, you need to get out of our country. and then spanging on the wall. Oh, this is just, it's horrific. It gets worse and worse, isn't it? So I think, I think I had, I actually had a very cynical view of life.

Like, to me, it almost felt like I was walking into a war zone every single day. And I was, you know, kind of very hypervigilant. I was always looking out for threats. And I guess that made me good at reading people in situations, but at the same time, I was always on edge. So I had a lot of healing to do. but it was around, I think, 15 years old when, you know, I found this random forum and, you know, I found my way to kind of books and positivity. And I decided that I was going to change my life because a lot of other people who had

had very unfortunate circumstances managed to change their life. So maybe I could do the same. And since then, I've been on this journey. And that's why I feel like when I talk about things, a lot of the times, you know, You know, people sometimes look at me, especially if you've not come across my work or my stories, you will see someone and be like, it's easy for him to say. What do you mean that they, you think that they're thinking that's... Because I do get DM sometimes. And it's easy for you to say.

You've sold millions of books and, you know, you live in a nice area or something like that. And I'm like, do you know what? I understand because they're talking from their pain, right? And I completely get it. But the stores... Don't judge a book by its cover because there's so much more underneath. And it's more, yeah, it's more important than ever, I think. It's to, and it's the same applies to me.

You know, I want to share my humility in this because I also don't want to judge them because I've been in their position as well. That's what I mean. Yes, exactly. It's the thing about, you know, somebody driving in a car and you're driving in the car and somebody starts hooting you and getting rude, you never know what's going on in life. They might be rushing to see a parent who's very ill. They might, whatever it is. Instead of getting angry at them, you just say, okay. But what you went through is horrific. You didn't.

Did you go through things like that? I had a very fortunate childhood. It was very, very, very happy until I reached my, just before my 14th birthday where my dad had a stroke. And we had no idea what a stroke was. We, you know, God, he must have been very young. Yeah, very, very young. I was also daddy. little girl. So I wasn't very close to my mom growing up. We were actually in America at this point. We'd move there because it was my granddad's wish to have all of his sons living in America. And yeah, our lives completely changed in the space of seconds. And I still remember being the whole family, like as in my immediate family, but our whole extended family were all in A&E sitting there waiting for answers. And I was so young. I was just trying to make everyone

laugh and performing and just being a people pleaser and all of that stuff. But yeah, my life completely turned upside down when I, just before my 14th birthday. And he was disabled for five and a half years. He couldn't walk, he couldn't talk. He could only move his. No, yeah, not at all. And he was the chatiest. If you think I'm chatty, I got it from him.

He was even more chatty than me. But he was like the life of the party, the glue of the family. So I always, I mentioned this on my stories recently, how we joke about it now as a family of like everyone had a pre-stroke husband, dad, uncle, friend and then a post-stroke, dad, husband, uncle, friend. And yeah, I definitely feel like I had two dads in my life in that sense because one would take me to the park and take me to Toys R Us and like, you know, anything I wanted, he'd drop and do whatever he, whatever I wanted he would do for me. We were two bees in a pod. I was like his tail. I'd just follow him everywhere. And then post-stroke, it was like you're having a one-sided conversation with someone who, at one point for about, I'd say, six months to almost a year, he was a vegetable.

Like, he would barely open his eyes. And you know he's there, but there's, you know, nothing you can really get from him. But towards the end of his life, he had something called multi-organ failure. It was all of his organs were kind of fighting each other. and he died really peacefully and we all say now although he was very young when he died he was 40 no wait 51

he was 45 when he had a stroke we always say to everyone like but he lived his life he had the best 45 years of his life albeit the you know the five and a half years were really really difficult obviously on him but having that kind of living grief but all of you yes it is

especially in an Indian family dementia as well you know it's watching somebody go and they're still physically there but not with you. Yeah. So I had, yeah, an opposite childhood to my lovely husband. We both kind of connected with losing our dads. Yeah.

The grief of that, hers, like she had memories linked to her dad. I didn't. I didn't have anything. But there was still the impact of the grief, I think, throughout the rest of my life and the impact of grief in her life as well. And then, so this is, I've actually posted about this recently. So we were on this self-love journey before we met each other. And we were really truly.

tuned into something called PMA, which is positive mental attitude. And we would talk about it when we met. And, you know, although we were attracted to each other, of course, there was like this platonic deep friendship with each other, like we'd lean on each other and have really deep and meaningful conversations. And I remember I was in my final year of university in Nottingham, and someone handed us a leaflet where we were together and it said PMA on it. And we almost felt like it was like this sign from the universe.

And then obviously years later we got married and we got married and together now. The interesting thing about grief is that there's no two people have a feeling, but there's no rules to grief. And all these years later, and I know it was a long time ago for you. And for me as well, my mom died 30 years ago and she was quite young. But suddenly it can just grip up on you for a split second. But that's people have got to accept it. And people don't know.

I think you said to me last time that people never know what to say to you when you say my dad died when I was six months old. imagine it's the same for you. Yeah. Your father had a stroke when you were 13 and the people sort of right, they don't know how to cope with it. And the fact that you two talk about it and everything that you've now done since all of that will help so many people as well.

And talking about grief is important. It really is important. And there's no single way, I mean, I've been asked so many times to write about grief. And, you know, grief can take many different forms. So, for example, COVID. I don't know if we spoke about this last. last time. But with COVID, there was a sense of grief because people made all these plans and they were suddenly taken away from them when lockdown happened. So that's an element of grief as well.

But there's just no single way. Like people can talk about their own journeys and their own relationship with grief, but there is no single thing that really makes loss, I think, any better. But the words that you write can be for loss, for gain, for heartbreak, for love, for positivity, whatever it is, they fill those spaces. Your words are astonishing, Vex, and your books are very precious to people. Does that feel, and I mean this in a positive way, does it feel a bit of a responsibility for you to carry that,

to know that people look to you to heal them? So it's an interesting question. It's kind of layered. So one thing is I write from a pace of kind of, wholeness on when I feel good. So I just write what comes to my mind. I tap into stuff. And this can sound quite abstract,

but if I sometimes feel this sense collectively, and I'll be like, I need to write about this. I don't know who it's going to reach, but I know someone needs this message. So I'll write. I take my position seriously, but not in terms of pressure, that I need to behave,

but act in a certain way. Good, good. The responsibility comes from, If people are looking up to me, I want to lead by example because I feel like, and you know, this is one of the inspirations of the book, there's a lot of performances and performative kind of, even sometimes performative kindness, performative empathy and people are trying to further their careers through this image, whereas I would rather just be human first. Like I think that's the most important thing. You're not about fame. I you know you can probably find this tweet but this was way before like I had a platform and I always used to say this to Koschal and actually this is how I started out on social media

I used to have pages without my face and I've always said that if I can just be like behind the scenes and just spreading loads of like light and positive energy I would I would love that so but you know it's almost difficult to reach lots of people and also kind of hide yourself away. Yes, but what I mean is you're not, and lots of people on social media, there is a lot of good there. And I know that everybody's very quick to damn it,

but there is a lot of good there. But there are people out there who just want to be famous. Let's be blunt about it. They want what they believe fame brings them. It doesn't really bring what everybody thinks that fame brings them. But you're doing it from a place of not wanting to be famous. You're not going, hey, look at me. Ah, this is my free thing.

You know, whatever it is. And everybody's got their thing. They can do that. I'm not knocking them. But yours, it just feels that it comes from in here. In your soul. I think it's heart first. Yeah.

Yeah, you've got it. You hit the nail on the head. I think it's leading with your heart. And it's not to say, look, when you say your books are brilliant, I'm like, no, no, no, don't say that. I'm not going to say anything like that. It's always nice to be about to say. But we're allowed to. Yeah.

We're allowed to. It's always nice to be loved and appreciated, but I guess my self-worth doesn't hinge on those opinions, and that I think makes the work purer. Yes, absolutely. I hope it does. How does it feel to be a multi-million selling author? I mean, what did that? Please tell me that you sit at home with your dog and the three of you sit there with the dog on the lap,

and you're watching Coronation, whatever it is, something on telly. What do you like to watch on tell? Why? I only watch football really. But we're watching silo at the moment. Yeah. Okay, silence. With a dog on your lap, watching silo and you go, oh my word, look, how many books I've said, please tell me. So she usually has that reaction.

I'm the one that's like, whoa! And I'll be like, oh, that's really good. And she'll be like, this is amazing. And he's like, yeah. I'm like, nothing, no, nothing. I'm not going to get anything. I think internally I feel this real sense of gratitude and joy. Like, oh my God, this is amazing.

I'm reaching so many people but honestly with anything the feeling is so fleeting like it comes and it goes and I think I'm at this point and I was trying to I suppose make this point earlier was that now that I have a sense of

security I really do find this and it's so hard to explain to people this deep sense of joy supporting people and animals and I feel like I've I can now do that because I'm not surviving

anymore. I can do that and I can do it for also and you know this goes back to the thing we said is it's not just people, it's animals. You want to start an animal sanctuary. That's our long term goal. The end goal is, is, you know, if we can is have this animal sanctuary and different types of animals. Oh, you've got to come on joy of pets. I mean, that's it. You're going to have to ask me twice. Yeah. Oh my word. Yeah. We, I think, you know, people say, are you an animal person? And I don't label myself as anything really. Even when people say, are you like a self-help writer?

I'm like, I just write, right? I want to help people, but I just write. But it's the same with animals is I think when I was younger. And actually it's because of my wife, when I was younger, I was always afraid of animals because... Were you? Yeah, I never had any positive. There was no animals in our family. I'd been chased by animals.

I had a friend who had like really violent staffs. Oh, but stuffies are lovely. I know. We had a stuffy. They're lovely, lovely dogs. It's the owner. It's the owner, right? It's the owner.

And then, you know, I meet my wife and she's constantly sending me animal pictures. And then we go to different, like, animal. We went to a animal, like a puppy cafe in Japan. And they all came towards me. I know. It was like, it was his birthday, actually. And we were in Japan. And my friend was like, oh, what should we do?

And I was like, well, it's his 30th birthday. Should we like, take him out and, like, do some stuff? She's like, yeah, let's do it. And I was like, how about we got? I, like, slid her this. like thing like how do we go to this is it's like all these dogs are up for adoption and you can go and spend time with them and she was like yeah let's do it and I'm there going oh my god oh my god all these dogs and they're all sitting on him lovely he's like I'm not surprised

it was just so nice because I you know you look at the light yeah well and I see the light behind well yeah yeah yeah no I had one or two you see the we you see the light in the animals as well you see the and you know and and that's why I think I've learned to I think I've just Learn to love life. Oh! I think I just, and I think it's not just me, but my wife actually, you know, I think sometimes we'll see something like feathers and we're so excited about the feathers. And sometimes we all talk to each other and be like, people are going to think we're really

weird. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know that's the clip we're going to use for our socials? You say, I love life. No, just through there. He's just going, yes. Just to be able to say that, not just because of everything you've been.

through. But right now, in this moment, because we only ever live in the now, you to be able to say that is just so incredible. And I do recognize how much sometimes privilege it takes to be able to say that. And that's why, for any of watching, just know that I am so incredibly grateful. Like, you know, that. We feel it. We know it. It's like, you know, for me, you know, some people's dreams are like having yachts and what, all kinds of stuff. And that's. And that's okay. If that makes you happy to some degree, that's fine. But I literally wanted to kind of end my mum suffering. That's my biggest goal. And I'd be very, very honest about that. Like, you know, she had 30 years of debt as well. And I was just like, that was my priority. And we've spoken

about this as well when we got married is I really want to liberate my mum before I live for my, and I've done it. So for that, for me, it's a dream country. And we've moved into a house in a village. it's so peaceful. It really supports our nervous systems. And then we've got Tupac, our dog, who's just, you know, any animal, unconditional love, especially with dogs, you see it, so evidently. So, you know, we're just in a good space and a good place. And we don't take it for granted in any way. Because, you know, the thing we've learned is that things can be taken away. And that's why it's so much more important to. You've learned it in a very harsh way, both of them. Unfortunately. Yeah. But it just makes us so much more grateful for the things that we do.

have and just holding on to them with love because knowing that, you know, life is transient. Things, things move. And that's actually important for when bad things happen as well. Because, you know, the rain will pass, the storm will pass. Feelings that feel heavy will eventually pass. So there's wisdom in that as well. You are light. You are both light. Thank you. That's, that's, you're just wonderful. I absolutely love to be in your realm. The energy that you give off, I hope people listening to this and watching this will feel that. And reading your words, your new book is out.

It's going to be another multi, multi, multi, multi million selling book. As long as it supports people in a positive way, I truly believe. And the reason I'm saying this, because, you know, the experience of reading is subjective. But I took, you know, I've spent the longest time writing this book. So usually I'd be done within a few months, maybe a year. I've sat on this book for two years and I've only written when it's been guided. I used the same formula as my first book,

which again will sound a bit air-fairy to people, but I prayed after every single line that I wrote. And I just wrote from this space of joy, but I had to take myself to certain situations which might not feel too joyful because I wanted it to be relatable. And from me, and I'm sure every author says this for their latest book,

But I do believe this is my best book yet. And as a writer as well, I think we're always evolving. You know, things are always changing. You look back and sometimes you think, oh, I wrote that 10 years ago and that was true for them. But this feels more true to me now. So I really believe this is my best work. For anyone that reads it, thank you so much for picking up a copy. And I really, really hope it helps.

And you're such a deeply spiritual soul. And so are you. You know, there's so much depth there. So thank you for sharing it with everyone. everybody. Thank you for sharing the words. Thank you for sharing your wife. At last, I guess to meet you. We always ask everybody on the podcast, what brings you real joy? So it can be obviously your wife, obviously your dog, but is there anything else that brings you real joy? And this is going to be sound so simple. No, no, we love simple. But it wasn't actually this year,

but last year on my birthday, my wife said to me, what do you want to do for your birthday? And I said, Did you know what, I'm okay? It was the sun was shining. That was enough for me. I said, I'm okay. And she was just like, no, we have to do something. And I think on my actual birthday, I played some music in the garden under the sunshine. And I literally had the best time.

I was playing like the old UK garage, which I love. And I remember when I was younger, I had a joy it used to bring me even while I was struggling. And even now, like that feeling of just, I just felt free. I felt good. and music does that all the time to me. Like it transports me. Music is actually one of the ingredients for writing. So when I write, before I begin, I actually will play a song.

And that for me just ritualises the whole kind of ceremony of writing. But music brings me so much joy. So yeah, that's my thing. That's perfect. Thank you. And you didn't have a chance to think about it because we literally pulled you from the table. Come on, you've got to be on this as well. What brings you real joy?

So I went and did a retreat a couple of years ago. And from this retreat, there was one message that came to me. And this is something that can bring me joy whenever I want it to. And that is reminding myself to be where my feet are. So it's just, it's the simplest thing of even when something really good is happening or maybe not so good that I'm always, I go back to my thought of it's okay. just be where your feet are, which is right here right now. And that brings me, yeah, yeah, that kind of brings me back down to earth, no matter what emotions I'm feeling.

And it is just to be where your feet are. Would you please do me a favour, Vex? Will you ask me what brings me joy? Gabby, another question to you, what brings you joy? Your books. Oh, thank you. And that's absolutely true. So, Vex King, are both of you, Mr and Mrs. King?

Miss from Mrs. Kidd? Thank you both so much. Thank you. Thank you. No, thank you. Thank you. Wow. You made me cry.

You're so going when you... Oh my word. That was... You are lovely. You know what? I didn't share the thing that I bought, but I'm going to share... Oh, you can. You can.

We'll still record it. Ed? Ed, you would still record... Yes, go on. So I want to... So this is going to... This is really random. No, we love random.

So this is... is a little basketball kind of hologram, toy that came with Kellogg's cereal in 1998. So it came with, I think, Frosties. And the team emblem on it is Chicago Bulls. And during the 1998, they were the best team. So there was a lot of kind of self-belief that they used to give me. But what I used to do in PE,

when we used to play basketball, we used to wear a sweatband. And underneath, I used to put that to just help me believe in myself. And then basically at the end of like, so you'd play basketball, so you'd do different sports for like, I think it was a set amount of weeks, right? Yeah. And at the end of like the whole basketball kind of season, I guess, I remember the P teacher saying, after you've got changed, come to me and I'll give you your grade. So I went up to him and he gave me a really good grade. He's like, you're really passionate, you know, you're a good player.

And he said, but do you know what I really like? He said, when you're on the sidelines, you're constantly cheering for your team. You're constantly pushing them to like, you know, go. And it's almost like you're a coach. And he said, I can see you doing coaching in the future. Because you really... Well, that's what you do with your words. Well, you know, I don't necessarily call myself a coach, but I do believe in people, I think.

And he spotted that. And that kind of reminds me of it. What was his name? Mr. Jones. Do you remember Mr. Jones? Yeah. we always just remember Mr Jones yeah

well Mr. Jones Chris Jones from Northampton unless he's moved how lovely don't lose that that's very much thank you thank you for sharing that with us as well do you know what I'm actually going to start keeping it should keep it with you

because it You've got it next to your heart as well exactly yeah but it just helps me kind of believe in myself and even with this whole book you know I think externally there can be a lot of pressure to become another the bestseller.

Oh, it's like with the band, it's always, they have a number one album. Yeah. How's this one? You don't talk about it. Yeah. And I'm just like, I'm just, I'm doing me. I'm trusting what, because the thing is, right, I think it's, but even when it comes to books or even as a musicians with an album, is, we have to ask what the product itself

is like and if it's actually a labor of love, because if it's come from the heart, it will reach other people's hearts. And that's what I have to trust, I think. And as a chronic, well, ex-chronic people pleaser, I, when I read the book, I was like, people are going to read this and be like, I did not know that I was a people police. I think it's going to be like a book that's going to really open people's eyes to be like, oh, I feel I'm being attacked, not attacked, but this book is like kind of revealing so many things about you. Because when I read it, I was like, oh my God, I didn't realize how much people pleasing I was doing in my life, not just pleasing people. people in my family or whoever of my teachers or whatever, but it goes so far beyond that.

And essentially it will lead people back to their own heart. Yeah. And hopefully reaffirm that it's okay to be yourself. And by being yourself, actually, that's how you offer your value into the world. That's how you let your light shine. People are scared to be themselves. Yeah. And unfortunately, you know, we've got things like cancel culture.

So, you know, any misstep is now suddenly like you cease to exist. And there's just so much pressure. and it is very, very difficult. And I really... If they read your book, that will help them. I hope so, because I've covered so much in you. And, you know, how it shows up in work. And, you know, sometimes with books, people ask if the stories are real.

Like, are they fictional? Did you? Every single story. And even, like, I talk about boundaries. And I use an example of a guy that was working on our house. And he was, like, in his 70s, actually, very innocent, very pure. and someone in his family had set boundaries with him and he didn't understand it and he was so sad about it

and I think that also needs to be part of the conversation because we can throw these words around but people don't actually know what they mean right so people have sometimes weaponised boundaries as well so boundaries will protect you and they're so important but it's also important to communicate what boundaries are and communicate that you are setting a boundary and why you're setting it especially with the people you love

So I think I've tried to cover as many, it's very nuanced, I would say, because I wanted to bring balance and I wanted to listen to different perspectives. And I think for me, this is my life's work. And this is potentially the last self-help type of book I will write because I think there's... Did you just say that out loud? Yeah, I did. And this is probably the first time I'm saying it out loud on a platform. You know, unless, you know, I don't want to make a promise because, you know, know if something came up and I felt really passionate about it, I would consider it.

But I think I'm in this place where I think there's a different way to shine that light out into the world. And there's been this thing that's been calling me. And I've been told if this book does well, although I will do this anyway, that I'll be able to do something else with my writing. So let's see. Wow. That's incredible. Thank you so much. Thank you.

Thank you for having both of this. I know. Thank you. Thank you. Happy wrestling