That Neuroscience Guy - Neuroscience Bites- Break-Ups

Episode Date: March 17, 2022

In the first instalment of our Neuroscience Bites series, we take a few minutes to dive into the neuroscience of break-ups. 

Hi, my name is Olof Krogolsen and I'm a neuroscientist at the University of Victoria. And in my spare time, I'm that neuroscience guy. With season 3 we've decided to try something new, which is every Wednesday I'm just gonna do a day in the life of a neuroscientist. So what I'm going to do is just take something I'm experiencing and try to unpack it. So unlike our regular episodes, which are, you know, 10 to 15 minutes long, where there's a lot of research, this is more of just literally, you know, things I am experiencing and trying to tell you, like, what's going on in the brain. And maybe that helps you a little bit as well. So today, what's on my mind is uh breakups um you know if you've been in a serious relationship and it's ended you've experienced the breakup right and it really comes down to whether

you know you're the one breaking up with someone or you're the one that got broken up with. And now, if we think of the neuroscience of this right away, if you're the one that's doing the breakup, well, then you've gone through a thought process, right? You know, like your prefrontal cortex has processed the value options for the choices. You know, do I stay? Do I go? Your emotional system is weighed in, good old amygdala, our old friend. And you've thought it through, right? And you've come to a decision. Now there might be a trigger point, right? There might be some event that sort of is like, yep, this is why I'm doing this. Because it, you know, it sort of ratifies what you were

thinking you were going to do so it's generally easier if you're that person however if you're if you're the one that's being broken up with it's a lot different you know because you might not have been expecting it you know you were you were surveying the land a little bit differently you know um you you were you thought that things were in a state where they actually weren't in and what happens and and i guess the hard part of this is like it would be obviously be great if a relationship ends and you can just be like boom you know i'm on to the next thing generally easier if you're the one doing the breaking up because you've already moved on to the next thing you know by breaking up with someone you you literally you've already arrived at hey i'm going to try something else but if you're the one that's broken up with that's kind of where i want to spend the next 60 seconds is because it

you hang on for a long time and the reason you hang on is because you you you've had something that you wanted and it's been taken from you, and you want that, right? Like, so you, you know, the value for that is almost increased by the very act of losing it. You know, this is a classic value problem, which is things that are taken from us end up having more value than they're actually worth. And that's, again, your amygdala throwing some weird stuff at you. It's your prefrontal cortex not evaluating the problem correctly. And that's why breakups suck, is because your brain is literally playing havoc with you. Now, I'd like to finish with what can you actually do about it, right?

Well, it's the same old story. Like, you know, People kind of seem to, when I talk about brain health, they just kind of laugh. But it's true. Get lots of sleep because if you sleep more and you sleep well, your brain health will be better. Exercise, make sure you get out every day for a walk or something. And then diet.

When you want your brain health to be optimal, which is what you need if you're processing a breakup, make sure you eat healthy food. Don't binge on sugar and definitely don't go grab a beer or a glass of wine. Anyway, that's what we're going to be doing on Wednesdays, just little tidbits like this, just a little sort of thing to tease you and give you some more insight about what's going on in the brain. Remember, our up and live that neuroscience guy.com if you go there you can support us on patreon which we'd love as you know from season uh or episode one of season three um we're trying to help pay for uh matt and l to go to school this year and possibly buy some better computers to actually produce the podcast.

Our link is there to our merch page. Admittedly, all we have is the one T-shirt right now, the logo shirt. But, you know, I've been wearing one. I think they're pretty cool. Love it if you buy one, too. And, again, all those profits just go to Matt and L. It's going to be 100% transparent. You can follow me on Twitter, That Twitter, that neuroscience guy, uh,

YouTube, that neuroscience guy.com. Um, it's out there. Love your support. Thanks for listening. And we'll see you on Sunday for a full episode.