That Neuroscience Guy - The Neuroscience of First Impressions

Episode Date: March 13, 2022

What goes through your head the first time you meet someone? Is it how they look or act? Is it how they talk or smell? Or are you just wondering what they think about you? To kick off season 3 of That Neuroscience Guy, we're discussing the neuroscience of first impressions: how we make them and why they matter. 

Hi, my name is Ola Kregolson, and I'm a neuroscientist at the University of Victoria. And in my spare time, I'm that neuroscience guy. Welcome to the podcast. You know, you walk into a room and you meet someone for the first time and you wonder what are they thinking? What are you doing? First impressions are everything. We know that. They're such a big deal.

You can make or break a relationship on a first impression. On today's podcast, the neuroscience of first impressions. Welcome to season three. We are aiming for a massive season. We are planning 21 episodes as usual. We've got three interviews lined up, something we've never done before, but I'm going to introduce you to three of my good friends in the neuroscience community and share all the cool stuff they know about the neuroscience of daily life.

We're going to do a live show. I'm going to take your questions in real time and answer them. And then, of course, just the usual. So, so much more. So, first impressions. So, you walk into a room and you're meeting someone for the first time. Maybe it's a date. Maybe it's a job interview.

Maybe it's just, you know, you're showing up for work for the first time. Well, it starts with a conscious level of processing. You've got sensory input. So they're going to see what they see. They're going to process your outfit. That's your visual system. They're going to look at what you're wearing. They're going to, you know, their brain will literally just be like,

okay, what is this? What's that? What's this? What do I think about this? There's a verbal level of this. Their auditory cortex is going to hear your voice and it's going to trigger things. verbal level of this. Their auditory cortex is going to hear your voice and it's going to trigger things. And there's this conscious level of, wow, this is who I am. But where it gets interesting is the subconscious part of this. When you show up and they start to process what they're seeing,

let's just focus on the vision stuff for a bit. Well, it's going to do two things. One, their emotional system will be activated. They're going to process what you're wearing and, you know, they'll like it or they won't like it. But they're going to tie it to like their actual feelings. You know, like, do I like that color? Do I like that shirt? You know, do I like the fact you've shaved or not, assuming that you shave. So there's that whole level of processing that's tied to emotion.

And that forms a massive first impression because if they have a negative emotional impact, and you'll never guess it, our friend the amygdala, that's going to really bias their first impression. And at the same time, there's memory. So as they see you, they're going to be searching their memory banks. Where have I seen those shoes before? Where have I smelt that aroma before? And they're tying you to that at some level.

aroma before, and they're tying you to that at some level. Now, the problem that you have with this is you can't really control that, right? That's their previous experience. And what's actually happening? Well, what they're doing is they're building a model. They're basically saying you, person X, and they're starting with that first impression. So the entire model of you is tied to that. The emotional response, the conscious response, the memory response, it's all tied to that very first encounter. that very first encounter. To be honest, that sucks because like, you know, if they have a negative emotional vibe on something you're wearing or, you know, you're wearing like a pair of shoes that, you know, reminds them of something that they don't want to be reminded of, there's not much you can do about that. All you can do is show up and be your best self.

about that. All you can do is show up and be your best self. So that's what's happening for them. They're building this model of you. And think of an actual model. It's like they're sculpting this thing and going, well, this is who this person is. And this is what they stand for. And this is what they believe. And it's all tied to their conscious sensation, which is what it is. But it's tied to to their conscious sensation, which, you know, is what it is. But it's tied to that subconscious stuff. Now, what can you do about this? Well, obviously, you can do your best to make the best first impression. You know, it sounds like common sense, and I don't want to talk about your personal hygiene,

but, you know, take a shower, put on an aftershave or, or perfume, you know, wear your best outfit because never forget that the very first thing they see and experience is the model of you. Now that model, well, let's think about what happens with that model. That first model is the foundation. Now, let's say they meet you for a second time. They're willing to talk to you again. Well, that will cause them to revise that model of you. And this is kind of what your prefrontal cortex is doing.

The left-hand side of the prefrontal cortex is trying to maintain this model of you. We talked a bit about that in season two. And the right side is questioning and going, you know, hey, maybe we should revise the model we have of this person. But the reality is that first impression is the foundation. It's the thing that they're going to base it all on. And to change that takes a lot of work. So let's just walk through a few scenarios. Imagine you show up and you know, you had a great workout and you just didn't have enough time to shower. So you're a little bit odorous, for lack of a better word. Well, your model is tied to that smell. They're going to assume that, you know, so-and-so's okay, but they don't smell so great. Well, if you then show up and you smell

amazing, the problem is, is it will take more than the second time to change that first impression. will take more than the second time to change that first impression. That first model that's built, that really, really sticks. We call this primacy and recency. It's the most recent thing, and it's the first thing. And that first thing is massive. So if you want to change that first impression, you just can't do it the second time you show up. You have to show up consistently over and over and over again.

So let's take that to a few other ideas. Honesty. Do you believe your friends are honest? Do you believe the people you interact with are honest? Well, this is tied to this idea of first impressions. If the very first time you meet someone, you say something and you get proven wrong, they basically call you out and they say, you're a liar. And they actually find out that you did lie. Well, guess what? That model of you is of a liar. To rebuild you as an honest person, you have to be honest over and over and over again. And you have to keep being that way. And the worst part is, let's say you lied one, you know, the first time, you know,

do you like my haircut? No, I don't. You know, devastates the other person. They're very upset. Even if that's a true statement, well, it's going to take you, you know, I can't give you a number, but let's say it takes 20 more encounters with the person to finally get over that bit of dishonesty. Well, guess what? If you lie one more time, it wipes out those 20 other times instantly. Because your first model is of a liar and that's what they'll go back to if they have any reason to and this sort of extends into trust naturally like you know a lot of human relationships are tied to trust you know do i trust the person

do i believe what they're saying well this, this is the same idea. If on your first encounter with someone, you extend this idea of trust and they trust you, well, then they think of you as a trustful person and that's what they buy into. But if you break that trust, then that model they have, what's sitting in that prefrontal cortex, is shattered. And to rebuild that model takes a ton of time. They need to trust you over and over and over again. And eventually, one day, the model becomes one of, well, yeah, that person, there was that one time they were untrustworthy. But, you know, the body of evidence as a whole suggests they are trustworthy.

First impressions are massive. Absolutely massive. And the neuroscience of it is very simple. Like I've said, when you walk up to that person for the first time or you meet them, whatever the context is, you're basically saying, well, I don't know anything about this person, so I'm going to assume this model. And like I said, that's what your prefrontal cortex does it's going all right this is how I represent Olaf for lack of a better name and it's going to accumulate information and build that into that model of Olaf and if it finds information that goes against the model it will update the

model if it finds information that supports the model it will support the model but that's the key piece is to realize that first chance you get it's probably the most important thing you're going to do now how do you actually make a good first impression then well it's pretty You know, you show up the way that they expect that you should be. You know, if you're showing up for a job interview, you know, wear a shirt with a collar, wear press pants, wear nice shoes, you know, shave, have a shower, all that kind of stuff. Even if you don't agree with it, you have to assume that the person that you're meeting, well, they're going to follow society's norms. Now, of course, they might

be looking or thinking outside the box and then, you know, what can you do other than hope that they go with what your vibe is. But the key thing is you have to make a great first impression because your brain will anchor to that and their brain will anchor to that. I hope you've enjoyed thinking a little bit about the neuroscience of first impressions. They're massive. Now I've got a bunch of stuff to share with you. Our website is live, thatneuroscienceguy.com. There you're going to find links to the show and a bunch of other stuff. We're on Patreon now. You know, I hate to ask for money, and I'm not really.

I'm asking for money for Matt and Elle. Matt's our sound producer. He does all the tech stuff behind, and he uploads the episodes. And Elle, we just brought on this year, she's doing our social media. They're just graduate students. I don't need your money. They do. If you guys were willing to donate $1 a month,

you could literally send two graduate students to school for a year. Just $1. That's all we're asking. We're also on Etsy. It's a little cheesy, but we've got some That Neuroscience Guy t-shirts. You know, I've ordered a couple because, well, hey, it's my podcast. We've got some other design ideas that are coming out. Right now, we just have the TNG logo. But hey, again, the money you spend on the shirts, it goes straight to Matt and Elle,

helps them go to school. We're on YouTube. We're not quite where we wanted to be yet, but our channel is up, and we do have a couple of videos. We're going to be releasing more. Please email us your ideas, thatneuroscienceguy at gmail.com. Five of the episodes this season are basically your ideas. We're literally going to tell you what you want to learn about. And last but not least, follow us on Twitter. I know it sounds kind of silly, that Neurosag guy,

but it does help. And the more popular we make the podcast, the more we can deliver. We got a big surprise coming midweek this week. On Wednesday, a day in the life of a neuroscientist. Every Wednesday, we're going to drop an extra piece of episode. It's just me live, no editing, no Matt, no nothing. It's just me talking about stuff that's happened in my life and the neuroscience behind it. I really hope you enjoy it. My name is Olaf Kregolsen, and I'm that neuroscience guy. Thanks for listening, and I'll see you next week.