That Was Us - Decisions, Decisions | "The Right Thing to Do" (S1E11)

Episode Date: August 6, 2024

The right thing to do isn’t always what you want to do and vice versa, so how do we know right from wrong? Jack knocks on his estranged dad’s door to ask for money so he can afford a home to fit his growing family; Toby initially fights against it, but reluctantly opts for additional surgery to avoid more serious complications down the road. Randall fights tooth and nail to find a treatment to give William more time, but stops when he is truly able to hear what William wants, which is to stop chemo; and Kevin doesn’t feel passion in his relationship with Sloane, but stays because he believes it’s the right thing to do. We all face moments where the right thing to do isn’t obvious, but all we can do is our best. Decisions, decisions… Let’s sift through. Check out Your Mom Is A Podcast, a new podcast from Milana Vayntrub & Sandeep Parikh where they embark on the hilarious journey of parenting improvement. Follow That Was Us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, Threads, and X! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking about episode 11, the right thing to do. Kate wrestles with her feelings following Toby's heart attack. Randall feels conflicted about his father's relationship with Jesse. And Jack and Rebecca find out they're having triplets. When you're with Amex Platinum, you get access to exclusive dining experiences and an annual travel credit. So the best tapas in town might be in a new town altogether. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Terms and conditions apply.

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send off your entire purchase. That's T-H-E-O-UA-I-D-C-W-A-I-com, co-T-W-U. Welcome back. That was us with your host, Chris Sullivan, Sterling K. Brown. And Mandy Moore. 11-11.

Yeah. 11. Did you guys do like a back-to-back screening? Yes. Of the Christmas episode and then same. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like we said last episode, in the real world, the episode 10 happened before the NBC Christmas break.

Right. And 111 comes back when? Mid-January? Something like that. Yeah. Yeah, we had like a six-week hiatus. That's right. Yeah.

It's one of those times, for six weeks. And we're like, what is it coming back on? And that's like, we told y'all before. He's going to go away for six weeks. Yeah. Patience now. And even then, it's just the little secret we have to keep of what's going to happen with Toby on the operating table. What is going to happen to have to buy us?

And the episode opens with Kate, with the bad finger song without you playing. Yes. And sort of like the chaos of the hospital and people are coding and nurses and doctors and everyone's sort of running around. And we're obviously led to believe that like she's there at the hospital in the midst of Toby's crisis. Yeah, yeah. And it just turns out that she's holding some coffee. And she's like, sorry, what, which direction is room 420 or so? You know.

Everything's good. Yeah. Like the curve of, like the curve, a little way. But we opened, go with the flashback, right? We opened a young Jack with young Jack, witnessing his mom and dad. You're right. In the midst of his dad's hand around his mother's throat.

Yes. Pushing her against the wall. Yeah. And I was like, we're on NBC. Mm-hmm. Okay. And then you see young Jack just sort of like stand this ground. Does he say something?

Does Jack, does he say something? Does he say something to his dad? I don't remember exactly. I can't remember exactly. Hats off to casting because that little dude looked a lot like Milo Ventimilia. Yeah. I bought that. He stood his ground and like you see his dad say like you two deserve each other.

Yep. That moment right there is enough for a lifetime. Yeah. To change your child. Sure. Just the visual of that. Yeah. I had friends recently who had taken a couple of kids in because there was an investigation going on about abuse in this household.

abuse in this household. And it turns out there was no child abuse, but there was abuse going on between the husband and wife. So child protective services was like, so there wasn't any child abuse. I'm like, that is child abuse. To behave that way in front of your children is child abuse.

And so it's just, it's another piece of the, of the Jack Pearson puzzle. He's one of the most wonderfully enigmatic characters, I think, in television history. Yeah. Truly, because he unravels like an onion. I feel like, I mean, all of us do to a certain extent, but I think, like, everybody else is a bit more forward

in sort of 2020, 15-ish or whether or not. Jack Pearson is, like, still waters that run real, real deep. And if our suffering or our trauma is kind of what forms us on a core level, we get that quicker with the rest of our characters. And Jack's, like you're saying, and maybe Rebecca's, too. Like they unfolds slower through flashback over the seasons. But do you think that's just in part because of the modernity? Like we're living in the modern world and it's easier to have these conversations and it's not

in vogue, but like to be able to talk about our feelings, to be able to not compartmentalize things. Like Jack and Rebecca, we're from a different generation and a time. And I mean, Jack, especially, it's like there's so much kept close to the best. there's so much kept from Rebecca. There's so much Rebecca keeps from Jack. Like, I think that's just more of an understood idea. And I mean for our audience, as it unfolds, like, when you're like, how did this person become this person? We get these little snapshots of there.

And then later we get a whole, you know, Vietnam storyline or whatever the thing. The thing is that make this man who behaves in a certain way, whether it's with alcohol or, or the, the flip version of it, how much he loves his family, his children, how much he appreciates a grand gesture or all of these things. It's just interesting how the different speed at which these characters unfold. Yeah. And he is just a slower burn. Yeah. And you get these little moments.

Let's talk about this because his mom says to him in the moment, like, promise me you'll never be like him. Right? She says of that. And he's like, I got the lesson. Right? And you see him. We fast forward. There's a six, a delightful little six-floor walk-up, two-bedroom that they were going to start their family in. Rebecca is happy as can be. She can see it all. It's great. Like, look, I'm only 20-something years old. I can take six flights. It ain't no big thing. Yeah, one baby. I got that. Happy is clam, you know? A baby. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? Then they go to the doctor's appointment. And who's your doctor? What's his name? Dr. Schneider, I want to say or something? Dr. Schneider. Dr. Schneider is like, how would you guys react if I told you that you were having twins? And, you know, Milo's got his mother, huh, huh. He was like, I, what did he say? Like, I would laugh or, like, you would tell you you're crazy.

It's like, good, because you're having triplets, right? And it was like, we, as the audience, got a chance to be ahead of that moment for the first time. Just be like, oh, my God. And we knew that this doctor's bedside manner. It's like, come on, man. What's with all the jokes? He really, like, twists that surprise a little bit.

And then walks into the break room, there's like, it's never easy telling people there. Having more than one baby. And there's Dr. King. I was like, I don't know, Dr. Strider. It seemed pretty easy. He was like, I'm glad. You had a whole script.

Also, like, thank God you don't end up delivering the kids. Seriously. But I thought when I was watching that, I'm like, I don't like him very much. He wasn't the best. So we go through and, like, now. Now there's a real reconsideration of like, oh, dude, we're not prepared for three babies. Who is? Who is?

She's like, this is insane. We got to find a different place. And Jack recognizes even though they already put down like the deposit and everything, they're not going to get their money by now. So Jack goes and talks to his boss and is like, I'm going to need more money. He said, look, man, I'll bump you up to $17,000 a year. You're already the highest pay. We've got a lot of money back. Thanks, right? Rebecca, moms, moms are like, and it's real. The nesting is a real thing. Yes? I'm going to mansplain nesting to you. No, no, no, no. But it's like, women are like, no, bro, something is off and we got to fix this thing now because life is coming. Yeah. Right? So she goes and talks to her mom. Shout out to Perkins. I don't think I think I get to meet Perkins.

One time. What? Of all the times that she was on the show. Well, because different time lag. And so, like, one day when I was at work and you guys were finishing off something, I got to get. I love Elizabeth Perkins. I love Elizabeth Perkins. Man, when they told me, casting told us, like, this is who's playing your mom.

I was like, yeah. And she was so good. Yes, because she is truly one of the kindest, most likable people. And just to be able to play that, like, deeply biting. biting, discerning, disapproving mother. And we quickly learn in this scene like there's been illusion to like Rebecca and her mom, obviously, she told her parents off on Thanksgiving and didn't want to go there. And we understand later in life her mom's, you know, relationship with her children and with Randall specifically. And there's a lot of animosity there.

But it's like even in this stage, pre-children, we learn like she's disapproving of Jack. And there's just a lot of trepidation, I think, on Rebecca's part of, like, you know, really steadying herself before she goes and has lunch with her mom and has to break this news of like, wow, not just having one baby, I'm having three, like, how is this going to go over with my mother who's clearly going to be, you know, have much to say about this? And she does. It's like she predicted it. She has some things to say. Yeah. Some ideas. And like in your space of not really one, like, you know, things are complicated, you still have to like hear it. because there's a part of it that might make sense. Yeah, she's not wrong. Like, how are we going to make this work?

So you go home, talk to your husband, who's like, you know, doing the bills. Oh, God, that scene of, like, just watching Jack go through bills sort of gives me, I was like, oh, I don't want to do any more bills. Men go through a form of nesting, too. Yeah? Did you know, like, when Bear and, like, except it was, mine was different from Rachel's. Mine was like, all right, this table's a little wobbly.

I've got to fix that table. The door squeaks. Like there was like a list of like tasks. There's the honey-do list that needed to be accomplished. Mine is sort of like looking at my wife's Amazon sort of like history and being like, I have to make more money. I was like, we're getting a lot of stuff. I got to make some more money. That's pretty much what mine is.

Perceptive. But so then you float to Jack. You're like, my mom suggests, like, maybe we go live with them for a couple of years, save some money, they have all that space. And he's like, what'd you do with my wife? What you do with my wife? You know what I'm saying? Bring her back.

And this is one of those Mandy Moore moments when you're like, all right, I know he's probably going to try to dismiss me, but like, I don't see another way right now. That's like in the back of the head. It's like my husband's not going to like this. No other options. I don't see another way, right? And so then you sort of get that he's not ready to hear what you have to do.

And you're like, I need some mint chocolate chip ice cream. And he's like, there's my wife. This was one of the, I love this moment in relationships, because I think this is something that I could do better. So Jack goes to get the ice cream. And you asked him to go because you need a moment and you weren't ready to have that moment in front of him. Yeah.

And then he forgets something, he comes back and he bears with, and he can hear that you're in the midst of dealing. Doesn't say anything. Walks back out, makes a noise opening the door like, hey, I forgot my wallet, da-da-da. We can clearly hear in your voice. He can clearly hear in your voice. You're not right, but you try the best to put on a good face. And he gives you that space.

I could do better. I'm always meeting, like, what's, are you? Let's talk about it. You know what I'm saying? Like, honestly, when I watched that, I was like, okay, Brown, that's something you can, you can incorporate. Because sometimes people just need space. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she did.

I think it's like she was barely holding it together. I mean, this is the worst possible prospect. Yeah. The idea of having to live with her parents is the last thing in the world she wants to do. but in an effort to take one for the team, like there really are no other options. Like they don't have enough money. They don't, like a sixth floor walk up with three bait,

like that's just, it is truly not going to work. They have to figure out something and like this is the only thing that's presented itself. And I think she's allowing herself the space to reconcile that and not, it's like I don't want to burden him with this. I need to digest this myself. and we will, at a later date, discuss this. And maybe get into the nitty-gritty of, like, yes, this is not what I want to do,

but, like, what other options do we have kind of idea? And I think, like, in not confronting you, but in knowing what you're going through, and knowing that you don't, that the brave face is just a brave face, he goes and asks the last person in the world, that he'd want to ask for help. Yeah. If Rebecca was willing for us to live with her parents,

which is the last thing she wants to do, he's like doubles down on, well, the last person I want to ask anything from. He goes to see his dad and asks him for some money. Now, pockets his wedding ring. Pocket's his wedding ring. Yeah.

Right? Doesn't say he's about to have kids or anything. His dad goes like, what'd you do this time? You know, it's girls, his gambling. He's like, gambling. Gambling. Right. Like, you want to...

He'd rather throw himself under the bus. Yeah. then let his dad know that he is married with kids on the way. Yeah, because I think he doesn't want him to be a part of his life. He's just like, that's who I need. So you want to help me or not? His dad helps him out. He's got the car.

He goes and sells the car. Now, this is the thing about Jack and Toby. I'll say later on, this is season six, I think. Quit buying houses without talking to your wife. It's not the move. It is not the move. Please talk to your wife before you buy it. It's a giant purchase.

Yeah. Or a boat. Or boat. Randall. Or boat. I think this is the writer's room, Mayaculpa, too. Just people in this writer's room are just buying things without talking to their partners. Like, this should be in the show.

This seems to be in all of our. our lives. But the good thing is he's able to get the house that he's working on. And his wife, thankfully, can see it. She walks into the space and you can see the space being transformed. Again, she has to see it. There's no other choice. Again. Yeah. But like this is our first, this is our introduction to what becomes like the Pearson home. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Their childhood home. like the scene of pretty much like every major thing that happens in this family's life

including them losing the home so it's pretty I remember that feeling of like wow they stripped everything away from the set and made it feel sort of like it was still a construction site and which again kind of to borrow your phrase Chris not ever having done television before I was like

whoa I was so like floored at watching them sort of like piecemeal the set and then have to put it back together for later scenes. It was crazy. I'm still floored. What they do in production in terms of like set design is stupid, wild. Stupid. Yeah. I wonder how often that happens, sorry, going back to the first house, right?

I wonder how often that happens where there is, it's tumultuous at first around this thing. And then over time it becomes like a family home. Like, I'm trying to think about, like, I think the childhood house I grew up in, there was kind of some conflict in the family for moving there at first. And it was kind of in the middle of nowhere, no friends, no, blah, blah, blah. And then it becomes, it grows into this thing. I wonder how often that happens, especially since it happens when people are young and they don't have any money. A bit of a side note here, too. The house that was originally, like, the original outside of the Pearson home ended up getting changed.

because of the geography that we needed for the Super Bowl episode. Explain. It used to have a porch, and it didn't have a porch by the time we got to. Well, no, there was a porch. It's just like they, I remember the moving houses simply because, like, the placement there, I want to say, like, it wasn't two store. There was something, something that made it not possible for us. It was, there was either an upstairs, I believe there was like an upstairs balcony.

that would have made it a lot easier for us to escape the fire that Dan realized in the Super Bowl episode needed to be eliminated that we just left and got on the roof from the Pearson bedroom. So I just was clocking that in this episode a little bit too. I was like, oh, this is before they made the transition of because it was like we were shooting in South Pasadena before and then we switched to Eagle Rock for like the outside of the house.

And then that's where we stayed for the remainder of the seasons. But it was just something that I remember clocking, like, oh, wow, that can happen too. And shifting like that without the audience being completely aware. Until you said it, I would not have even clacked it. Of course, yeah. Just a funnel inside. That's good. Should we talk about...

Kate and Toby? Yeah, Toby and Kate at the hospital. Oh, yeah. Realizing he's alive. He's alive and he's drinking coffee. He's alive. And I told Chris Sullivan earlier today, I was like, man, you stuck your foot in this joint, man. Yeah, truly.

That dude was acting his ass off. Yes. Because you are such a charming, affable, warm, generous human being, and that still comes across. And you also, what comes across is terrified. Yeah. Like, oh, wait, they can give me a pill or you have to cut open my heart. Give me the pill. And that'll be the best part because I don't want nobody to cut it.

cut anything open. Yeah. And it's interesting after Kate having just gone through, well, I guess it would be elective surgery. And I guess it's elective still to a certain extent, but it's like if there can be a permanent fix there. And it's just like, I was laughing and frustrated with you like at the same time. Yeah.

Both of those things. And when you can do that as a performer, I go. That's very, that's very good. Agreed. Agreed. I remember being both relieved and stressed about shooting this because I was like, like, oh, good. I just, I'm, I lay in the hospital bed for this whole episode.

I don't be comfortable, especially in the suit. Like, I was just like, you do, but then the stress was like, oh, I got to do all that just laying in a hospital bed. So it was like, it's like all those scenes, all the connecting, like. Yeah. I can remember a couple times, this is my sidebar of, uh, Chris walking around before he put on this, sometimes he'd just have on the suit before he put the wardrobe on because he was just looking for like.

air. Yeah. Coolness. And I can remember just seeing him walk around and I was like, this man looks miserable. It's a lot. I said, how you doing big dog? He's like, ah, hanging in.

It's just like a constant, like, low hum of panic. I was like, if I need to get out of this thing, it's going to be, it's going to be a minute. Like, low, like, like, let's hydrate enough to stay awake, but not that I have to go to the restroom. Does it come? Do you have to, like, go? It was a lot. Like, yeah, yeah. For season one, for season one, it was a, it was a, it was.

It was an upper suit and pants that had padded legs. And so it was just like, it was a lot. It was a lot. Very conversal. But, yeah, luckily, the episode dealt, there Toby dealt with, like I was saying, previously, with humor, which is how I get in those situations. I'm just going to make light of this to calm myself down. Yes. I have that. Do you have a note?

You're looking at your notes. I have Toby still wants it. Yes, he does. Toby, they're on Kate. And any given opportunity, he wants Kate to climb on top of him in the hospital room. If Kevin is a love addict, Toby is a sex addict. Let's not, let's not avoiding that. It feels good.

This is another episode where I walked in and did all my work in one day. Is it really? Yeah, yeah, because it was all in the hospital bed. That's a full day. And I walk in to another famous, to me, director, Tim Busfield, who is famous, obviously. West Wing, West Wing, 30-something. But to me, being a Sacramento boy, we have the B Street Theater, which was started by

Tim Busfield and his brother. And when I was in elementary school, the B Street players used to come around to all the schools and do a performance to kind of get kids interested. in theater and get bring people down to theater and so I think I talked to him about he showed up on set and I was like no way and I was like I'm pretty sure did you do those like did you go around it's like yeah I did some of those times it's highly possible that you are the first professional actor I ever saw that made me realize like oh this is a job acting acting is a circle acting is a job yeah the B street theater was just an incredible that's amazing like and and then he ended up being this in

And this one day on set for me and Chrissy, he came in and gave me two bits of advice that I had never been given because it was very early in my television career. Never leave a hit show without your DGA card. Never leave a hit show without your DGA card. He told me not too. Wait, did he really say that? Oh, yeah. Oh, wow.

And that was when I was like, oh, I guess that's something I should think about. DGA for those is the Directors Guild of America. He says, make sure you direct an episode so you get your DGA card for the show's over. Yeah. And the other thing he said, he said it to me and Chrissy because he knew that we were both. knew at this, is give a director one Hollywood take. And I was like, what is that? He goes, no moving, no blinking. And I was like, Michael Kane. I don't understand. And he was like, it just gives them a base to edit around. Wow, interesting. And so you do one take where if you're doing all this

with your head and your hands, you just do one take where you stay perfectly still and you say the lines and you don't blame. They can cut into that take a lot easier. And I was like really good advice. I forget to do it a lot. I loved working with him. Yeah, I did too. He's also deep, deep, deep old friends with Ken Olin, our producer, director, extraordinaire on the show. But we don't just keep teasing to you, our audience, Ken Olin, because you may or may not know who he is. God, we've got to have Ken on the show. But let us tell you, you can't wait.

Yeah, you cannot wait for the episode when we have Ken in here. He won't be able to complete a sentence. He doesn't speak in full sentences. We might not even be able to air it. Depending on what he says. But it'll be fun. It'll be fun. For sure.

Maybe we'll put it, we'll start a Patreon that's private just for that episode. Yeah. What people can go. What dawned on me also in the midst of this Kotobi section was, I didn't realize it was the first time that you said I love you. It was. No, no, I clocked to that as well. Yeah. I didn't realize.

I thought you'd said it before. I was like, through his actions, this man clearly loves. He says, I can't. there's one thing I can't live without, and that's you. Right. That's what he says. In episode 10. Right.

But to say, I'm in love with you? I'm in love with you. It's different than I love you, too. Real talk. Real talk. Okay. I got you. She's like, I'm just letting you know.

If I were to hear that, it hits my ears differently. Yes. I can say to you, Sterling, I love you. And you can say, I love you too. I love you too, big dog. If I said, Sterling, I'm in love with you. I have to be like, I need a moment. Yeah.

See? Different. I also, my favorite was the line when you do decide that you are going to go ahead and have that surgery. And they just like jump right into things. And you're like, whoa, isn't that needle. What was in that needle? He was looking at that needle. Oh, that's big.

Yeah. All of that was, yeah. I'm pretty sure I was making things up at that point. Of course you were. It was great. It was great. The arrhythmia joke earlier was great. The whole thing was great.

And then to see her come in thinking that you haven't come through surgery yet and haven't come to. from surgery yet and telling you like, I love you too. So Chrissy. It's so Chris. It's like, just so you know, said. And you're just listening to it. And then she's like, how long have you been?

I'm like, about an hour or something. Yeah. It's just, yeah. Perfect. It warms my heart. Yeah. So easy to root for them. Truly, truly warms my heart.

So that's what happens there. And we know that Chris hasn't died. And so we're very, very happy. Very, very happy. More that was us after this short break. This episode is brought to you by Defender. With its 626 horsepower twin turbo V8 engine, the Defender Octa is taking on the Dakar rally,

the ultimate off-road challenge. Learn more at landrover.ca. I have a family of four, Chris, you have a family for, Mandy has a family of four plus. Right? We all need our space. We all need places that can accommodate children nicely. We need a refrigerator. We need a way to cook.

It's nice to eat out, but it's also nice to have the option to do things in the space that you are occupying. You get that with Airbnb. There are certain creature comforts that are available to you that a hotel simply cannot provide. My wife and I have used Airbnb all over the world. One of our favorite trips to Vashon Island, we had an Airbnb on a mountaintop overlooking the sound.

It was one of the most beautiful places we had ever been. When we are traveling, we want to be as comfortable, if not more comfortable, than we are at home. And the only way to do that is to stay in a home with all the amenities that we are used to is so much more comfortable and cozy than staying in a hotel. As a mom with two kids and another one on the way, the idea of staying in someone's home in an Airbnb is so much comfier and cozier and less chaotic than staying in a hotel. It's just the thought of being able to cook and do laundry and all of the creature comforts that you have in your own home are available in a fantastic Airbnb somewhere. It's definitely the way I prefer to travel. I'm a man who knows what he likes. I have a way that my nightstand is arranged.

My desk has a place for everything. And even my chair for recording this podcast is positioned a certain way. So why settle for a vacation that isn't just the way I like it? Or host travelers who are looking for that same level of excellence. Right now, your house or condo could be just what someone is looking for. And if you're looking for a little extra spending cash this year, you and Airbnb could be a match made in heaven. When you're on the go a lot or even just have a single trip plan this summer

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I know it's the middle of summer, but I have this oversized cashmere Quinn's gray sweater that I just bring with me on every trip. It's like the perfect addition to any outfit. extra layer, perfect on the airplane, to travel. You never know when you're going to be in some frozen tundra of, you know, a blast of Arctic air conditioning in buildings and whatnot. So my sweater is my favorite travel companion right now. Quince is an always brand, always 50 to 80% less than similar brands. Always has everything I need and more, like great shirts and shorts and even luggage options. And always feels and looks like you spent a lot more on it than you actually did. By partnering directly with top factories, Quince cuts out the cost of the middleman

and passes the savings on to their customers. And Quince only works for factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. Pack your bags with high quality essentials from Quince. Go to quince.com for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash T-WU to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash T-W. you. Well, let's get into Randall. Randall is really sort of like

bugging over whether or not, like he's having this sort of reaction to Jesse in William's life. Yeah. And he's like, am I a homophobic? Like, am I homophobic? Well, it's a delicate conversation. Very.

Right. Because why, yeah, why is he? Why is he so bothered? is he so bothered? Why is he so bothered? And the first thing that pops in his head is like, am I homophobic, right? Also, Kevin's teasing and avoided it at the beginning of the episode. What's the movie that he... Beginners. I love that movie. He references beginners. Yes, hilarious. And he also, is he talks about, is this what he talks about artnership? Yes, I wrote that done too, Sterling. That he and Sloan are in an artnorship.

They're in an artnorship. They're not boyfriend, girlfriend. Again, this is another thing. I think that The black piersons are very accommodating about people knocking boots in their house that are not them. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? It's like, hey, gang, look, I have to say, I'm giving you a bed at a place to stay. You ain't got to be like. Yeah, they come up out of the basement all. I got to get she.

Dishevels. You know what I'm saying? Like in this house. Yeah, they're children under this room. In the middle of the day. I'm like, can we breathe? He's up off of that. So he's sort of trying to figure out because Randall's awkwardness gives me sort of just giddy.

The soup dumplings? No soup dumplings for you? I was like, wow, we're going back to a Seinfeld joke. Okay. It's a perfect, like, Randall Dad-Poll. It's a total random joke, right? And so he later on he asked his wife, he's like, why am I bugging? Like, what's the thing?

She's like, am I homophobic? And she's like, no, you're not homophobic. And she says, why do you know? It's just because you're kind, right? Like, you're, that's just not who you are. And he's like, then why am I having such a problem? And she says, well, maybe you just need to get to know him. And maybe you'll feel better once you know who he is and his place in your dad's life, et cetera.

And then she, like, lovingly, oh, Sue's just the best. She's like, you know, what I need to do is getting this bathtub. I'm like, I can't just turn it on like that. And then I'm like, okay. And then Sterling gives the people what they want. Try to give people a little taste. Takes his shirt off. That's right.

It was a little taste. I was like, I was struck. I was like, oh, wow, I forgot this show can be sexy sometimes. It's like, like, that kind of like moves the needle, especially for a network show. I was like, wow. their relationship is just so beautiful again you root for them you just like when the two of you guys are on screen together i'm like i can't get enough like and i love too how how she sort of explains it to you of like you thought you knew who he was and this is like a huge curveball this is a huge new

piece of information that you weren't equipped with before and so like give yourself some grace to digest it like and get to know jesse and maybe all of that together will help you feel a little bit better about who William is. Absolutely. And also, nobody believed that you can't just turn it on like that. Yeah. Please. Yeah, please.

Come on. Jesse comes to the crib and they have a nice little moment. Sidebar. Dennis O'Hare is somebody who I've had an acting crush on for as long as I can remember. Same. When I was living in New York at the public theater, the original production of a play called Take Me Out appeared there. And he plays this, like, baseball, this journalist who sort of find

himself sort of enamored with the sport of baseball. I'm not a huge baseball guy, but I watched him in this play, and I'm like, oh, I get it. I get it. Like, his love for this game was so palpable. And then he started popping up on all of, like, Ryan's shows and the horror story and everything. I was like, this guy deserves whatever he gets because he can act his ass off. So it was a joy to just be in a scene with him. And he's such a lovely presence.

It was so much fun to be around him. He's incredible. He's a powerhouse in the New York theater. scene is like i have i have yet to be able to see it but he does a one-man show that is the iliad what what yeah does the entire thing wow it's i mean he's he's he's a boss he's a boss he's a boss i want to see that yeah so i get a chance to do a little scene with him where randall's sort of just like randling out yeah it's like offers him some something to drink and he's like you're an addict that wasn't what i was supposed to do you know just going through like sticking

his foot and, like, foot and mouth disease over and over again until William comes in. And William's like, I'm staying with Jesse. I'll see you later. And he's like, you'll be back tomorrow. He's like, I don't know, we'll play it by ear. And you see Randall just sort of being like, oh, all right, you used to be here. And now you're somewhere else. So when William finally comes home, he's like, hey, man, you think we've bonded?

Yeah. He's like, because, you know, I thought we kind of bonded and you can't get kicking him with the family. Why is it so easy then for you? Because I think Randall's always just sort of fearful of being not enough. Yeah, yeah. Abandoned, we're not. And so they have this conversation, and I don't like, I'm saying this as an audience member, truly, I got moved watching these two men saying like, the end is real, right? I can feel it.

Yeah. The medicine's not working anymore. Jesse's gone through these things before, he can help me find. an assisted living place to where I can finish this. And he's like, whoa, what are you talking about? Yeah. This is your home. Yeah.

Like, this is where you'll be. And he's like, I don't know if he's like, I can take it. Yeah. And you see him sort of like, it's not about me per se, but it's about we're going to be together. Yeah. Right? Jesse can be with us too. We're all going to be together.

And it's interesting. And quick sidebar. don't take too much time because my mom lives with ALS, which is also Lou Gehrig's disease. This has lived with it, diagnosed in April of 2018, and lost speech around October of 2018. So for a long time, it had these interesting thoughts of like, will my mom be around to see the end of the show?

Will she be able to survive and she's still with us? But like being able to bear witness, it is something. And I think about this with Rebecca too, to be in the presence of someone as they are slowly sort of drifting off. Not everyone has the constitution for it. I can see different people in my family who have a tough time being in the space.

But sometimes you just, and as we kids, we fast forward to season six, you can see us also sort of like figuring out exactly how to be in the presence of that, right? And you just cherish what is in front of you while it's in front of you. Yes. That's it.

That's it. however it shows up, however they show up, just cherish that you get a chance to spend that time with them while you can. And I think I was seeing Randall say that to his father, like, I love this, I love you, however you are, like I'm gonna, it's gonna be okay. And see him sort of like almost be kind of Jack,

like it's gonna be all right, even though it's not gonna be all right, but it's gonna be, we're gonna be together through that thing to the end, man. Hit, it hit, it hit in the river. Yeah, that was an echo of Jack Pearson's son for sure. Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

So that was that one. Do you want to hold off and talking about Kev? Yeah. We'll talk to... Because we're going to have a special guest on. Milana is going to join us so we can talk to her about life outside of selling cell phones and her time on our show, which was pretty awesome. We'll be right back. Guys, we're back.

That was us. This is episode 111, and we have a special guest today. I'm going to mess up your last name, so you have to help you. It's Milan and Bella. That's fine. Vintraub. Oh, Vintraub. Vintraub, who you may know from many, many phone commercials, but before all of that,

well, actually before and after all that, she also came and played with us on This Is Us. How are you doing, my dear? Hello. Hi, I'm doing so good. I'm so happy to see you, Walt. Yeah, it's great to see you. Paul Grown and Jane just. So much.

That's right. I think you look, you look the same. You do. Absolutely stunning. Thanks. Thanks. I'm just very sweaty. I think that's.

That must be it. It's a glisten. It's a glisten. A dewyness. We're well hydrated. That's what's happening. We're all parents. So we have a low undertone now of exhaustion, which leads to kind of a laissez-faire attitude.

Exhaustion and elation. Yeah, makes us seem, makes us seem European. There you go. Yes, we're very French, but like no cigarette, but it's the same vibe. It's the, you do it. I'm very happy to, how you say, be here. They be alive, I guess. Be alive.

It's a wonderful thing to be alive. It's fine. I'll take it or leave it. Lo joie de vie. I like it. I like it. Solly, how old is your kid? I have a three and a half-year-old son and a one-and-a-half-year-old daughter.

Yeah. Wow. Mazel tov, congratulations. How old is you? You have boy or girl? I got a boy who's three. Who's three? We've been re-watching the show. As you know, this is a re-watch podcast. We've been checking you out and how you do in this show. Again. And you're absolutely delightful. How many episodes did you wind up doing with us total?

Four or five? I don't quite remember because I'm also re-watching with you guys. So I'm at episode 11 now. Oh, great. That's where we are, too. I want to say, Seven? Yeah, that sounds about right. Because I'm like, we have all of the play stuff to be in too that has yet to be explored. In the last episode, we talked about the Hanukkah celebration. Yes. With you and Kevin.

You're fantastic. So fantastic. It's so charming and so sweet. But it's like you don't miss any story points. And also just are like, well, that's history. You know what I'm saying? Who gets to write it? Probably had some sisters and daughters too, but you know, history.

But it was written by men. Yeah, I know. That was really fun. I kept, like, being like, I just want to make sure that I say all the Jewish words right. Yeah. And there wasn't, like, a resident Jewish advisor on set. Yeah.

Yeah. So I ended up having to call, like, a cousin who teach it. I'm like, I mean, I really, I'm representing a lot of people right now. You really want to do this, right? You did better. I did a reading of a movie. with the Douglas family, Michael Douglas, Kirk Douglas, his son, Cameron Douglas, okay? And they are Jewish. And I did all the stage directions for this movie. And in doing the

stage directions for the movie, I kept coming across a word that I didn't know. And I just said Yarmulik. And I said the word Yarmulik, I can't tell you how many times. And everybody watched me go through this thing. And like, Audrey McDonald, who's in this movie as well, like at the end of the movie, she goes, good job. No one corrected you? Nobody corrected me. Oh, Sterling. And I was like, Yamaka don't look like how it's spelled. In case you ever encounter it, it don't look nothing like how it's spent.

It's true. I'm sure everyone was trying to be nice by not correcting you, but actually, like, the long con of it is quite cruel. Yes. So you're an established voice actor. You had had your own show. You also early on started online? Did I read that about you? yeah wow you're doing your research sully thank you and and so you did all of this and so what where were you in your life when this is us came around oh that's such a good question i think i was like um like boy crazy and heartbroken and just uh you know like in my like late 20s just figuring out myself i i don't quite remember where i was in my career i just remember where i was emotionally oh no i i feel that so far i

on the rewatch podcast that's about all I have too which is which was like a whirlwind of being on this show when you auditioned for the show it's hard it's hard for we talk about the bubble that we were in yeah making it like not really realizing until we ended up out at the critic's choice awards was our first time like being out in public as a group that this is us was a thing like a bigger thing maybe than it was what was it like auditioning for it was there a vibe around this or was it still kind of under the radar? It probably hadn't even started airing yet, I would imagine. How many episodes did we get before it started airing?

How many, do we, do we film? We had about six under our belt before it started if they hit the air. Yeah, at least, at least. So you were, the show itself was not something you had heard of. I think it was. I think maybe I had just shot when the trailer came out and that had a lot of big bucks. Right. Okay.

Do you remember that trailer went totally viral? Yeah. And everyone was crying at the promo. So I remember then being like, oh, this is really special. I'm a part of something special. Yeah. And when you auditioned, did you know the sort of like breadth of like the job, like what the character was going to be and how long you were sort of like signing yourself up for? No, not at all.

I was totally in the dark about what the trajectory of the character was. I actually think the piece that I auditioned. with wasn't in the show. Really? Oh, wow. Yeah, I think they were just like, we want somebody who's a certain type who can deliver these lines

kind of naturally. So I think they cast probably a wide net and settled on me. Settled. There was, I doubt there was any settling. First of all, how did you? Everyone else is unavailable. Everyone else, yeah.

Everyone else now that was unavailable. I guess we'll go with Milanova. No, but it is like we talked about, for my character, my character in episode 10 has a heart attack. And so in the episodic world of television, you never know how this is going to go. Is it going to go up or down? Especially when it comes to Kevin Pearson. Yeah. Will he, will he, this, this, egotomaniacal?

No, not this, this man of a certain, of a certain fame and a certain. He's like, yeah, he's like ego broken. I mean, like in this episode, they refer to him as a failed sitcom actor, you know, who's like, just trying to matter, trying so hard to matter. And I think in looking at the time, because I was so invested in my character, I was genuinely heartbroken when she was heartbroken. Sure. And I was genuinely mad at him when I was mad at him. Yeah. And now looking back with some compassion, I'm like, oh, of course.

Of course he wants just like the more famous woman. Of course, he's just in this ego feeding frenzy. Sure. You know what? It's interesting that you say that. So talking a little bit about that storyline, because we haven't really addressed it in full. We open up this episode on your storyline with Kev and Sloan in the midst of rehearsing and they're like finishing off the play.

Yeah. And there's this gorgeous scene. I need to know who plays Ron, the director, because this dude- Oh my God, is so good. He's hysterical. He's hysterical. Like, he just sits there and is like waiting, and you guys are waiting with bated breath. Like, is this good?

Is it bad? Did you like it or whatever? He's like, you know, when I first heard that you, this failed sitcom actor was going to like turn into a vanity project and the playwright was going to replace like a Tony nominated or Tony winning actors, whatnot, I, you know, I don't know how he ends it, but he ends it like on an ellipsies where Kevin's like, is that all he have to say? Is that it? Is there more?

I was like, oh, there's more. There's more. And I actually see, like, you guys are really winning together. There's a charm, a connection. You guys seem really beautiful. And there's a really cute, just lovely moment of seeing you guys be connected with each other. Yeah. Embrace and you're excited.

That could have, like, potential for Kev after Olivia was such a see you next Tuesday. Like the last time we saw this, she invites her ex-boyfriend up to my Kev. Like in the middle, after they have this kiss, like, what's wrong with you? And Steels Sloan's rental car. She's on her way to visit her pregnant sister. Yeah, who's having a baby. I mean, it's just like the level of selfishness. The degree of selfishness is just out of this world.

And wide. So the fact that you put it up with all that and that you guys like wound up together. So at the end of the cabin, we see you under the covers. You're with my brother. And you're like, hi, Kate. No, no, no, no. It's like, okay. Knock boots.

Kev can't really be alone, right? But, like, we're hoping that, like, maybe something good can come from it. And I think after watching the Christmas episode, too, and that's seen with your family, who is just, like, giving you all kinds of delightful shade. But you have somebody sort of have your back and be like, hey, people don't believe in us. People discount you. They discount you. They discount me.

Let's take a bet on ourselves. And you're like, hey, maybe this rag tag bunch, we'll figure it out, right? And so then at the end of the thing, it's, I think there's also one of the first walking talks where we have like, you and Kev go through like a space, which is kind of cool to see like a little with Busfield as the director. Yeah, director was a West Wing director. That's what I'm saying. With Busfield as the director, we have our first little walk and talk around the corner.

I love that nod. Look at that little throwback. And then here she comes again. In her blonde wig, after her ayahuasca experience, where she's like howled with the wolves? Ahead of her time. Ahead of her time. Yeah, with the ayahuasca.

She talks about howling with the wolves. She does like seven different things that she's done. And Kev goes, wow, you did all that in the month. And you can see there's an automatic like, oh, where do I fit now? That Sloan sort of translates like, all right, this chick is back now. now, what does that mean? Sure. So I think what's the next thing we see is that is he talking to her?

Is he talking to Olivia? The director comes up, the play director, and he's like, thank God you're back. Right. I didn't know what I was going to do. After he just said that we might have something quite magical, he takes it all back. Yeah. Takes it all back, instantaneously. And so I'm trying, what's between, is there anything between that scene and watching Kev talk to Olivia.

That's the next thing that happens. Also, in that walk and talk, I'm sure this, I'm sure so many actors can relate to this. But any time you have to like comment on yourself as less than, you have to like, because there's a part in that dialogue where I say, and I can't imagine why a guy like you would want to be with a person like me. I'm a little bit like as Milana have to take a hit being like, yeah, because I'm garbage.

Sure, I can buy that I'm garbage. Welcome to the first five seasons for me on this show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's awful. You just have to do it. Anytime there's like a comment on yourself, you have to like lean into like, no, no, no, this is just a insecure person, regardless of the appearance would feel less than.

But then Olivia walks up and I'm like, oh, right, no, that makes sense. She's stunning. But then as I'm re-watching the show, I commented in episode 10, that I'm like, of course, this, Sloan is the person that Kevin should be with, which is why he won't be. Right. Because he makes weird decisions. And they kind of deserve each other. They're both kind of egomaniacs at this point. Yeah. I think also there's a certain thing that like we haven't yet discovered about Kev too

in terms of like the torch that burns. Yeah. Oh, yes, yes. You know what I'm saying? Like I feel like they're, I don't know, like he's sort of just like constantly in flux and is happy to sort of just go where the wind takes him. Sure. Because sort of being rooted is something that scares him. Sure.

Because without saying too much, because he'd been rooted before and it was unsuccessful. Sure. Right? Yes. Information we don't. Information we don't know yet as the audience. Yeah. Things that we don't know yet is the audience.

But so listening to you, listen to that conversation between Kevin and Olivia. and Olivia, where, like, the first part of his good, like, yo, I'm going to go with Sloan for a play. She didn't abandon it. She wrote it. She's really great in it. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's, like, I feel like that's the way that I need to go and I need to honor the fact that she's sort of honored us in that way. And Olivia's like, okay, but what about you and I? And he's like, I'm going to keep James Swamp. He says it almost like, hey, you know, it's the right thing to do. Even if it's not what I want to do, it's the right thing. And I was like, why does that caveat have to exist? Why do you have to say that out loud? Like, it was so icky. Well, here's

the thing. He wasn't, well, this, okay. No, no, what's the thing? Yeah, what is the thing? Tell us the thing. It wasn't meant for her to hear. Sure, but it just didn't need to be Sterling. Yeah, I agree. Okay. I just love my brother and I'm trying to find something to like lift him up. He didn't say it right, did he? No. If we are giving him credit. He's almost saying it to make Olivia feel better. Like he's saying like, of course I want to be with you. But this is what I have to do. This is the right thing to do. That is highly generous. That is way too generous. This like person is, in my mind, I was watching it. I was like, she is so undeserving. Like the fact that He was like, I'm doing the play with Sloan because she didn't leave us.

She's committed. She wrote this. And then Olivia has the audacity to be like, okay, okay. Well, then what about us? I was like, what an icky question? And then how does this see you next Tuesday end it? I'm going to go off and have sex with like the first random person that I see and drink my life. Yeah, that's why we do.

Yeah, go enjoy your life. This is the scene as an actor when you've been asked to be on a show that you read it. And you're like, God damn it. No, I want him. to profess his undying love for Sloan for three to four seasons. Yeah. Well, what was particularly cruel, I think, for Sloan is that she never really got to tell him off. Yeah.

Like, you know, again, I'm kind of going into the future and I'm not going to do that too much. But like, I just, I want justice for Sloan. Hashtag justice for Sloan. Yeah. Let's do it now. Yeah. What would you, if Sloan had the opportunity, what would she have said that the writers did not give us

an opportunity to tell that man? Oh, sweet Kevin, what an idiot you are. Yeah. Look at these perfect breasts. No. Look at what you're passing up. Period. Consistently.

You are the problem. Everywhere you go, there you are. and Kevin Thank you for doing my play Excellent That's exit That is it That's it

And Kevin would have said You're not wrong Perfect impression Thanks You are Artnerships Not wrong That's it

That is quintessential Justin This is quintessential Justin This gesture is my favorite Yeah When you were on this show did people, did it change the way you move through the world? Because people always had questions for us when the show first started about like, what's going to happen?

How's it going to go? Did you have any of that? I don't think so. There was one time where I was asked to present at some event. And they introduced me as the star of This Is Us. And I came out and I could feel everyone being disappointed that I wasn't Mandy Moore. And so my first part was I'm so sorry I'm not Mandy

Anyway I'd like to present this award for So like if anything it just created hype around me That was probably undeserved That is not true Malana That is hilarious But no if anything I think You know it was at that time I'd pretty much only done comedy And really since

And so it from like as a creative person it was such a good exercise in being present in this way that doesn't have a punchline. And I actually found it a lot harder than comedy. I feel like, you know, people usually have their lane. And I, yeah, I mean, what a trip. Like, what, also for that episode, for the Christmas episode to be directed by Helen was like so magical to have that as our acting coach.

Yeah. That was really, I think, when we talk about, like, how did it change our lives? For me, having her guide me in scenes was profound. Wow. Yeah. That's true. That's really cool. She's kind of awesome.

Yeah, she's amazing. And just, she's one of those, we talk about how on the show that we're not sure if they did it on purpose, but they insert all of these personalities who are from our television past. Yeah. Like Dr. Kay and even Milo is from two other hits. TV show, you know what I mean? And there's like all of these that make it feel familiar. And Helen Hunt is one of those. Like the number of episodes of television I watched her on, you know, I had a cry. I did have a crush on Helen Hunt. Of course. Sure. Who did it? Yeah. It was a, it was a special occurrence. And then Tim Busfield, of course. That's such a great, I've never thought about that. But yes, the show is so much about nostalgia that they bring that into the set.

Yeah. How cool. In kind of a sly way of just like these people are stars. Yeah. We've had Brad Garrett, Katie Segal, just pop up. Just in the first season. Perkins. Yeah, yeah.

Just these first 10, 11 episodes. Jamie Gertz. That's right. Yeah, there's been quite a few. Malina Vintraub. You know what I'm saying? Just adding to the litany. From your youth.

Yeah. I remember the first time. I saw Malano. Malana on YouTube. Dude, your phone empire has, it feels like it's been, have you, has it been 10 years? Has it, has this, the gig been going for, it's been going for a minute. The, the, uh, the commercials. The commercials.

Which you also now direct, don't you, Malana? Yes. Yeah. Oh, I know. We're Instagram friends. I'm always like, yes, ma'am, a real boss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not just in this.

I'm going to run this now. Yeah, I'm going to run the show too. It's a real gift. It's, I mean, the best part, as you guys know, on any. production is that you get to work with people that you love. And so when you get to hire the people, it's, it's all you can ask for. That's so cool. Which is why we brought you here.

If I could be in one of those commercials, I was really, this is the long game. To try to get into national commercials. It's hard out here. You know, seeing the slim. We are doing podcasts now. Just remember us next time you're casting a commercial. You're all hired. You're all, I need a gaffer.

You heard it here. Oh, great. Yes. Yes. I do craft service. You do craft? Perfect. I could see you with the snacks.

I do the best snacks. I'll do like hair and makeup or something. You do hair and make? Sure. I don't think I have any other skills. I'm sorry. You're worthless. Thank you so much for coming and talking to us.

Mauna, thank you. Oh, what a dream. Thanks for having me. You are so incredible on the show. Your energy, your presence, like everything you brought. It's so understandable why Kevin would fall in love with you and choose to be with you. and choose to be with you, even if it was... And then changes mine.

And then even if it was short-lived, we were all rooting for you. For sure. But, yes, thank you for joining us. My pleasure. Thanks for having me. Take it easy. Thank you. Have a good day.

We'll be right back with more. That was us. Wait. I didn't get charged for my donut. It was free with this Tim's rewards points. I think I just stole. I'm a donut stealer. Ooh.

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just by going to hellofresh.com slash TWUKids. HelloFresh, America's number one meal kit. All right. Welcome back. Welcome back to our favorite part of every episode, our fan segment. And today we have a Q&A, a straight-up, good old-fashioned Q&A. You guys got the cues? We got the A's.

That's right. Perfect. Come on. Let's do it. Let's see what people ask. Let's see what you all want to know. Wow. This is something I feel like that comes up just about every episode.

I'm curious about for you, Sterling, because when we started the show, you did have your two boys. But Amari was a teeny tiny little baby. And for those not watching on YouTube, you are listening. And you like, that's a little. The question from Chris Funkopop, first of all, I know about Funko Pops, Chris, don't think I don't know. How has re-watching the show changed your view on parenting? Changed my view on parenting. You know what?

I think I was sort of in the pocket of how I felt about parenting. It's not going to change. No, I'm pretty stiff and rigid. Some might call it fossilized. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Calcified. and my ways. I think of anything, like it's sort of like

has given me permission to be more forgiving with myself. There you go. Like I think that's like, even if your best efforts, mistakes will happen. Yeah. Mistakes don't mean you haven't done your best. It's just part of life. Everybody makes mistakes.

So the same grace that you would give to a co-star, to a friend, to your child, you have to learn to give to yourself as well. Sure. What about you guys? I mean, I think as you've brought up many times, Chris, like this show is a manual for how to live life. And I feel like as a parent, it does just that as well. Like, there's so many times during episodes where I'm like, wow, I haven't even thought about that chapter or that juncture

of being a parent and what childhood must feel like. We're so far away from that. But like, this is such a great example of how to handle it. I have found myself saying that about Beth and Randall, obviously in later seasons with Toby and Kate and with Jack and Rebecca, obviously, it's really, that's been illuminating to me is like, wow, this is when we do find ourselves in these kinds of particular situations, this is the perfect way to handle something. Yeah, I feel like it's reminding me to slow down. And to not just, not just to appreciate the moments for myself, but to allow these moments to sink in for my children, even if they are pre-memory or whatever. Like just this morning, Eiffo wanted to be held, and she wanted to be held in a way that was like a baby.

Like, she's now a toddler, but she, like, laid in my arms. And a lot of times these days, like I'm rushing around. I'm trying to get out of the house. You need to eat. Get dressed. And I need to just remember just to stop and just let that moment be, and just let her lay there and just gaze at each other because I'm not going to get to hold her like that for much longer. No, you will.

And I really think that the show is helping remind you. me of that on a daily. I love that. And also have you guys seen, I feel like I've seen this like meme on Instagram a lot lately. Like, yes, it's, it's your children's childhood, but it's also your parenthood. Like stop to appreciate that as well. That's right. So I feel like the show is also in that same vein, like a great reminder of like, this is our one and only chance of being a parent to a toddler who still wants to be held like a baby on occasion. Like, oh, man, yeah. Oh, my God. Amen.

Crazy. Okay. What's next? Yeah? Yeah. This is from Olivia R.A. 13. What was everyone's favorite couple slash ship on the show? I'm a Kevin Sophie girl all the way, L-O-L.

Is there a feel like, I guess you can pick a favorite Kevin ship because he had so many. So many. So many. I don't like to compare and contrast like the other couples on the show, unless we're talking. talking about Philip and Kate versus Toby and Kate. I mean, all love to Chris. We know, we already know, big homie. Yeah, I'm like, all love to Krispier, but, you know, come on.

But I mean, it's really hard, it's really hard to beat Randall and Beth. It really is. It's really hard. Even as incredible as the romance between Jack and Rebecca is. Why do you say that? I'm curious as to why you say that. And if you believe that. I believe that.

Do you? Yes. You guys have to tell me why. Because I think we, I love it because we get to see both, really in depth, get to see both sides of the relationship, the before. Uh-huh. I hear you. And the after. So, like, we were just talking about parenting.

Like, we could see the way they were parented and the way they are parenting. Sure. And there's something about that, the fullness of that, the telling of that story. and the way they're doing it and the attitude they have towards each other and the love they have and the sexiness that they have towards each other. Yes, all of that.

That I just, I want more of. Yeah, I agree. And it's like, it's so very different than Jack and Rebecca. Like, I just, I can't get enough of the two of you on screen together, even when there is repair to be addressed, even when we're in the phase of, you know, Randall and Beth just sort of, like, missing each other, like two ships passing in the night. I don't want to say I love seeing Beth be mad.

I do want to say I love watching Susan be mad. I think there's so much comedy, too, to what you guys are able to bring to the characters. That's not really a part of Jack and Rebecca's gig. Like, that's not who they are. Yeah. It's just not who I am. It's not the way those characters were written. Yeah, exactly.

But you guys got to have so much levity and so much fun with each other. A lot of lessons there. Yeah. And the way you parent, like, Like, it's just so interesting, again, like, watching this sort of, like, delineation between, like, who Randall was, where he came from what Jack and Rebecca instilled in him and then how he translates that into being a parent that I think is just really illuminating as well that I love watching. Yeah, no, that's all good. That's good stuff. I love them, too.

I'm biased. So that's why I had to ask you, like, what you're going to leave it at that. We're going to leave it. We don't need to get anything else. On to the next, R&B. This is one of my favorite. Now, does Mandy Moore exist in the This Is Us universe? Did Kate sob through Walk to Remember like the rest of us?

This is a valid question because a walk to remember, or just Walk to Remember, walk to remember, walk to remember would have been a Kate Pearson movie. Sure, but I am absolutely saying she does not exist. I do not exist in this weird sliding doors. No. I don't know. I think there's just like, it would have been kind of nice little nod to be like, you know, watching them rock out to it. Oh, you're like, no, no, no. Kate was in Alonis Morseh, that girl. Probably. Mandy Moore was like way too dorky for her.

You know what? Facts, she's pretty emo. Yeah, she was like not watching TRL. Yeah, Alonis in public, Mandy Moore in her room. I was watching TV. She's reading Bop magazine. What's the next one? What we got? Debbie.

Biggest insecurity and how you find peace with it. Also, favorite thing quality about yourself. Oh, Lord. You're giving softball question. Yeah, exactly. that I'm not good enough. I feel that. For anyone.

Yeah. For my children, for my wife, for my friends. I need a lot of reinforcement from those people. And I try very hard not to put that on them. Yeah. Children, friends, wife, family. I hear you. While still trying to get it, which is a tricky balance.

Because I also. So how I find peace with it, I haven't found peace with it. How I try to handle it is I try to be honest about it. So that if family, friends, not so much children, I don't need to put that on them just yet. That's to come. But I will say when either one of them just walks up to me and puts their arms out and wants that hug and comes in for that big squeeze, I hold them. I just go, thank you. Yeah.

Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm just honest about it. As you're showing right now. It's the best way that I can come to peace with it. What about a favorite thing or quality about yourself? My ass. I'm not going to argue with that.

No, it's a flatter buttocks. It's still. That's something amazing. It's of, I've told you this. Being in the gym, my back, when I catch myself from the rear, my back is always bigger than I think, and my butt's always smaller. which I'm very disappointed in. My favorite thing or quality about myself,

yeah, that's a hard one for me, which is also probably one of my big insecurities. So insecurity, what's it going to sound? This is real, boy, I didn't anticipate going to this. If you say your abs, I swear to God. No, but it has to do with just being physically attractive. Okay. Because growing up, I did not feel attractive at all.

I had very few people who, in my opinion, that were checking for your boy. and I have very low self-esteem with regards to my appearance. I think being in the Midwest, being a dark-skinned black guy, where, like, folks who are fair-skinned sort of got more attention were called the pretty boys or what have you. Like, I did not feel attractive until later in life. And then sometimes when people say like, hey man, looking good,

I'll be like, right on, and sort of like dismiss it to just keep it moving on to that. I think it's one of the reasons why I probably started working out was like, well, I want something to look good on me. And at least I can have control over that, all right? So that's that. Biggest favorite thing about myself is that I truly do believe that I try to elevate the energy of whatever room that I'm in and make it a more positive experience for myself

and for anybody else that's in it. I just feel like life is too short to be not striving or trying to be a beacon of joy. It just feels good. It doesn't always mean you're going to be happy, silly giddy, but, like, you can hopefully know that you're in the presence of warmth and love when you are in my presence. So that's to affirm you on both cases, first of all. Yeah. I want you.

Physicic. Chris is in love with you. Physically. You're just saying, you're one of the more. Go on. You're just like, cut, cut it out. You're in a very attractive person. Thank you, sir.

And I mean that. on all levels. Thank you. Yeah. You do elevate the charisma of the room. All ships rise when Sterling is in the room. Yes. I appreciate that.

Thank you. I often, like, refer to you in my mind, I'm like, Sterling for president. Just truly, I'm like, if anyone couldn't unite this crazy world that we live in, it's Sterling K. Brown. Everything you just bring to the planet. Yeah. It's like at all times. Thank you, Amanda Lee.

You have to answer now too. Come on. I kind of feel in line with Chris about the insecurity of feeling like enough, feeling deserving of all of the incredible gifts that have sort of come my way in this lifetime, how I make peace with it, just working in therapy, talking about it, being honest, being vulnerable, not being not shying away from it, not feeling like the work is ever. sort of done and recognizing like this is something that I will carry around with me probably forever for the foreseeable future and that's okay like I think it informs the way I move through

the world and the choices I make and I'm okay with that for the most part I when I can like dig a little deeper and recognize you know start to like excavate where does it come from when did it sort of first sort of show up it definitely has roots in like my childhood and being a young person and things sort of coming to me in a way that felt, you know, seemingly easy. And so, like, there's a lot wrapped up in that. I hear you. I would say my favorite thing about myself is also hard. It's hard to talk about what my favorite thing is.

Maybe the kind of friend I am, the kind of partner I am, like, hopefully the kindness I try to show to the people that I love in my life. That's something that matters. I think it's very interesting what you, these things are kind of, it collides with what we talked about in the last question about this is our parenthood. And we're not only parenting toddlers, we're reparenting ourselves through the process of parenting and trying to work through these things. Because even if these are, insecurity is one thing. And to acknowledge it is helpful for me anyways, to be honest about it, it only becomes problematic when it leads me to mistreat

myself or someone else. Yes. Right? If it informs the way I behave towards my children or my partner. Yeah, it's like I don't want to model that to my children. Right. But also to realize that how old a feeling it is. Yeah.

And that these feelings don't belong to us anymore. Yeah. But they still exist. Like they still, we still remember. Sometimes I think it's just me remembering what it felt like to feel that way. Yeah. And I don't actually feel that way. Sure.

That is. I feel you. And to like, let it go. To let the feeling pass and to realize that feelings aren't facts. Yeah. And you don't have to take that on. Right. They come, they go.

Yeah. There's ups, there's downs. Yeah. You can just take notice of it. Yeah. That's interesting feeling. Kind of like in meditation or something. Let me say.

So just to affirm you, Mandy Moore, I remember I was having a conversation with Mark Duplas and I did this movie with him. This is, this is, he goes, who do you think, like, in your cast, what I'd be surprised about that I would want to work with that I don't know that I want to work with? And I was like, you want to work with Mandy Moore.

Oh. And I said, Mandy Moore is one of the hardest working people I've ever met. And like the thing that I think about when I think of you. And maybe this is, this comes from this, the feeling of the things coming too easy because no one's going to outwork you.

So, like, you don't show up like a diva or what people would call a diva. Like, you show up prepared, ready, and locked in. Like, and I describe in terms of the way in which you love and care for the people who are your tribe, there's a fierceness about you. Mandy Moore Brooks, no nonsense. Let it be clear.

Brooks, no nonsense. The cuteness of the cheeks, the beauty of the face, Don't let it fool you. Mandy Moore don't take no mess. And it's not a difficult thing. It's just like if somebody is out of pocket. I remember that. I remember the first time I saw the switch where Mandy was like,

You're out of pocket. You're out of pocket. There's a shift. You're out of time. There's a shift? Yeah. We're not doing that. Yeah, we are not doing that.

Moving on. Thank you, Sterling. You're welcome. That means the world. Real talk. Thank you. That was a little Q and. I didn't realize that fan segment was going to go so deep.

I didn't either. I was like, oh, we're going, we're going there. Yeah. But that's kind of the magic of the show, right? The magic of the kinds of questions that our show elicits from people and they, they're curious about with us. And I'm happy to have the opportunity to be able to answer them. And if you want to go there with us, come on.

Send us your emails at That Was Uspod at gmail.com. We want to hear how you relate. late to the show. We want to hear your questions. We want to know what you want us to talk about so we can have this discussion with you. Or you can call us on our emotional support hotline at 412-501-3028. Leave us a message. Maybe we'll call you back. Yeah. We've been known to do that. Yeah. We look forward to connecting with you. Hope you guys are enjoying re-watching the show and watching us talk about re-watching the show as much as we've enjoyed doing it and sharing it with you. And really, if you want to support the podcast, rate, review, this is the way, subscribe.

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Thanks for tuning in. Good to see you guys. We'll see you next time. See you next week. That was us. Baby. That was us is filmed at The Crow and produced by Rabbit Grinn Productions and Sarah Warehound. Music by Taylor Goldsmith and Griffin Goldsmith.