That Was Us - Finding His Way | "Number Three" (S2E10)

Episode Date: February 11, 2025

In the third and final episode focused on the Pearson siblings, we follow Randall as he revisits childhood memories, feels the impact of having Deja in his life, and contemplates how his life might have changed if just one thing had happened differently. Sterling chats about all the scenes from this episode that made him emotional, while Mandy and Chris discuss how the show made them think about how their life could’ve taken many different turns. Plus, the talented Niles Fitch, AKA 17-year-old Randall, stops by for a chat! That Was Us is produced by Rabbit Grin Productions. Music by Taylor Goldsmith and Griffin Goldsmith. Follow That Was Us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, Threads, and X! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode of That Was Us, we will be discussing season two, episode 10, number three. Randall and Beth are faced with a hard choice when unexpected news impacts their journey fostering Dacia. Jack takes Randall on a college tour. Hello, friends. What up, guys? How's it going? The third episode in the second trilogy? No, the first trilogy.

End of the first trilogy in season two, because we've already gone through Kevin's. We've seen Kate dealing with the miscarriage, and now we're seeing what's going on in the life of Randall, all in the same day. From Randall's perspective. And I love, of course, that Randall didn't just... walk, but he also was talking.

He was talking a little bit, too. Jack and Rebecca were like, wait, did he just, what did he just say? Did you say, table? Table. Not surprising. Overachiever from the jump. Sterling worked with that actor.

I did indeed. I was like, let's make it real, big guy. Let's make it real. Let's take it again. So we start off this episode. What I kind of really enjoyed about it is that you just see him in dad mode. Yeah.

Right? Hanging out with his girls, you know, helping with homework, et cetera. And then he goes and he's talking to Dacia. And you see they've been working on this project together with the plants and seeing like what other things besides just, you know, water, whatever effect plants, playing music. Yeah. Making cheesy jokes about Beyonce and lemonade.

I think he had a dad joke with Faith and Tess about, you know, why did the something go to the dentist? Had Bluetooth. I can't remember wrong. He's so dumb and so delightfully dumb. and just enjoys being a dad. Yes. And I can say that those are points of synchronicity between myself and him.

And we're upstairs talking to Dajia and then we hear a bit of a curfuffle. Outside, yeah. Outside. It turns out that Shana, Deja's mom, has come. She's been let out of prison because the gun was not hers

that was found in her car. Charges were dropped. She said it was where the charges were dropped. So her and Beth are having a bit of a heated discussion. Yes. Let me tell you, if you haven't had firsthand knowledge of two sisters in the midst, that was a close representation of what it's like. And mama bears. You know what I'm saying? Like going at, and I so love to see Sue get, because Sue don't get mad. You know what I'm saying? But there was, there was like, she's like, I'll be back and she's like, we'll be here.

You know what I'm saying? Like, it's, you know. And it was interesting because you get a chance to see this little girl, and she gets mad, she would get mad even at that time, lyric when I would call her a little girl, she'd say, I'm a young lady. And I would say, okay, young lady. But you got a chance to see her handle her mom. Like she becomes the parent. And this mom is like, that's not the way it goes, mom. We have to call the social work and everything will work out, right? Did you not find that heartbreaking? Very much so. Yeah. I just was like, oh. Very much so. A child being asked to, like, parent, the parent. Yeah, yeah. You understand their dynamic. It's like, oh, this is the way it always is. Yeah. Yeah.

And the girls go, is everything okay? And he's like, no, just, you know, is Deja's mom coming? And everybody's just trying to do what's best for her. I can't remember all the lines. But that's the gist. Debra Joe Rupp comes back as Linda. Yep. As Linda.

And is telling us that she is indeed out. that she's gotten herself together. She's got an apartment. I checked on her the other day. She seems to be doing really well, and I'm going to recommend to the court that she'd be reunited with her daughter. Like, Beth and Randall, like, you got to be kidding me.

Like, that's what you have to do. Like, you have a gun in the car, what not. The kid could have got to it, not gotten to it. Like, I don't care how she's doing right now. Like, how are you going to tell me that the woman that showed up at my doorstep yelling at my wife last night. By the way, let me go back real quick.

Nothing is more embarrassing to black people than acting a fool in front of white people. The neighbor's coming out. Everything okay? I'm like, oh, bro, you weren't supposed to see it. Oh, God. I was being honest, like, that was a real moment. I was like, we're not supposed to do this and fun in it, right?

So you're going to tell me that this woman who showed up last night is fit to be like, like, and I say it into that, like, Dacia actually had to, like, parent her, right? And so now you're going to reunite them, and we're just through with it. Randall is, he, I would say Beth is here, and Randall's, like, even a little bit hotter. It's like, listen, I have to go drop my kids off now. I have two drops. I keep my house clean all the time because that's how we do things, because before she'd

ask you, are you finished? And I was like, now I'm finished, right? Okay. Go drop the girls off. You can see Annie's like, is everything going to be okay with Deja? I say, yeah, we're just all trying to figure out what's best for her.

That's all it matters. You guys go to school. Everything is going to be fine. Then he has to drop off Deja. And she asks, like, have you talked to the social work and everything? I was like, no, we're still figuring it out. So he gives a lie.

Not because he's just trying to obfuscate, but he's like, I don't know if I'm ready to just get into this just yet. Yeah. Okay, so she goes to school. He's going to come back later to see her project, right, that she's been working so hard on. And they had a wonderful time doing together. Calls Beth admits that Linda had already given permission for Shawna to be reunited with. I just wasn't ready for it, right?

He has a memory to when William was alive. And he just had his breakdown in season. one. And he's like, man, that was a lot. I didn't know that that was something that you had to deal with. And he's like, you know, I'm not actually, oh, no, it was after Thanksgiving. It was after Thanksgiving, excuse me. I know Thanksgiving was a big deal. It was a lot to go through. He's like, you know, I'm not ready for small talk right now. He's like, okay, I got you. They're just laying on lawn chairs going through it. And he said, how many times have you met my mom? And he said, Twice. You know, once when you were newly born and she just kind of wanted to connect

and see me, et cetera. And then once when you were about nine, and she told me you were doing really well, and I got myself cleaned up and I was doing much better. And I got really excited at the prospect that she might allow me to be a part of your life. And so I'm getting myself together and she ghosted. And we remember that from previous episodes. What we didn't realize, is that he followed her, right? And I was like, oh, man. Like, I'm remembering these things as they come to me, too, because I was like, oh, yeah, that's right, he did follow her.

He only had $20, and he asked the cabby to go as far as he could, hoping that he had enough money. He thankfully did. We see Rebecca going to the house, and we see young William walk up to the house and knock on the door, and Jack and Rebecca let him in, right? and he gets a chance to meet young Randall. And he's like, I didn't know if I was going to be a part of everything,

but maybe just sort of like the bigger moments, right? Birthday party, you see they're celebrating his birthday, and he's standing in the background, just smiling. Happiest can be graduation from high school or whatnot. You see William there. Now, we obviously know that this didn't happen, but we're just seeing it play out what would have been, what could have been.

Yeah. And then you see him standing at the door, and he says, but I saw these three bikes. And they said, one, two, three. And I realized I didn't know which bike was yours. That there's this history, these nicknames that you guys had already assigned to one another. A whole life that it transpired that I had absolutely nothing to do with. Who am I to inject myself into that and disrupt the equilibrium of what your life is right now?

Sure. And so you decided not to. And so you flash back to Randall in the car, just kind of being on. like, hmm. He decides then to go check out Joy's apartment. And he sees Shauna. Yeah. Played by Joy. Yeah. Played by Joy Brunton, who I absolutely love. And you see her smiling, talking to neighbors. She's got new clothes that she's got for for Dajun and whatnot. And it's like, sort of like in a good frame of mine, right? So then they goes back to school and he meets with his wife. And I love, like, the scenes with Beth and Randall are so just like, I love that woman.

And I love the relationship that we were able to have on screen. And I was like, I don't know if it's right for us to keep Deja from her mom. And Beth is on the same page. She's like, I was thinking the same thing, right? And now, this is an anecdote here because I can't remember this whole thing. But I remember Dan coming up to me for this episode and was like, like, I have this thing about Pac-Man. And I was like, okay.

It's like, it doesn't really make sense, but it kind of makes sense. You'll do great with it. And that was it. And then he's gone. And you did. And people really responded to that metaphor. Yeah, the fans on social at that time. Okay.

Well, because he goes through it and he's sort of breaking it down. And he says, you know, you're just like Sisyphus. You're just going on it and you're doing the same thing. over and over again, just trying to get, gobble up these dots and avoid the ghost. But eventually the ghost catch up to you or whatnot. And Beth is sitting there, listen to you and said, baby, what are you talking about? I said, I don't know. But maybe that's kind of like what life is and that they're supposed to catch up to you,

and that's the beautiful part of it. What's the whole kind of reinterpretation of the Sisyphus myth is Sisyphus smiles? Yeah. Is that the one thing we don't realize about that story is that Sisyphus loves the rock? Is happy. Yeah. He's tied to it. loves the push.

Right. This loves the... Yeah. And so that's... They leave it there, but recognizing that, you know, I think of William and like... I don't know if he says that in this... Does he say, like... Well, he doesn't say this, but you understand that like, my mom made a choice with regards to my life

and keeping me from him. And listen, we've only been a part of her life for a hot second. Like, we're actually the ones that are disrupting what we're. was. And if she wants to be there, like, who are we to keep her from that? Yeah. And Brown got a little teary and they're standing in the back of their classroom and she's doing her presentation and she's talking about one particular aspect of the project and she goes, my foster dad helped me with that. And I'm telling you, it's, okay, a couple of things. Let me get anecdotal for just a second.

And we'll jump into the past storyline as well. I got two boys. Love these little boys. And I think God slash the universe has blessed me in television many times to just have these girls. And I got to tell you, I love them. I love all of them. And I was like, maybe like, and I don't, there's no regrets. Like, I think everything happens exactly as it's supposed to happen.

But I'm so thankful that I get a chance to, like, supplement my own fatherhood with these beautiful young women that I have in my life, too. That's it. I love that. True. Brown gets a little misty. It's also one of Brown's favorite memes is putting his thumb up of himself. I use memes of myself from time to time. Gifts of myself.

I do too. It's my favorite thing with my group of friends to like, yes. I also have a thumbs up meme. You do? Yeah, it's Toby. It's Toby early in one of the. the recovery meetings, inviting her to a Super Bowl party at his house. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I'm going to use them both in our group chat. You have to use them all in a group chat, right? More that was us after the short break. Td Bank knows that running a small business is a journey, from startup to growing and managing your business. That's why they have a business. a dedicated small business advice hub on their website to provide tips and insights on business

banking to entrepreneurs. No matter the stage of business you're in, visit td.com slash small business advice to find out more or to match with a TD small business banking account manager. Life can pull us in so many directions, kind of like our characters on this is us. And when things get hectic, finding time for yourself isn't always easy. That's why we love Peloton. Peloton has the convenient and varied instruction we all need to stay on track. My exercise needs very greatly. Like, I travel a lot, so sometimes I need yoga, sometimes I need a jogging partner. Sometimes I just want to go for a walk or sit for a meditation.

It changes for me all the time, and Peloton has it all. Whether you're into Pilates, boxing, marathon, prep, or just need a good stretch or meditation ses. Peloton has a class for you. They've got something for every vibe, every goal, and all three of us, look for different things in a workout, but we can always find it on Peloton. Some days, I want to challenge myself with a tough boot camp.

Other days, I just need a 10-minute walk or a calming meditation. Pelotime gives you the ability to choose what you need, whether you're pushing yourself or taking it easy. And let's not forget the instructors. They are the best motivators out there. It's fun to imagine which instructors our characters would connect with. Like Randall, who's always pushing himself, would probably love someone like Robin Arson,

While Rebecca might go for a more soulful yoga session with Aditi Shah. Allow me to give a special shout out to my girl, Jess Sims for the dope. SimS60 that she always brings the pain on. Adrian Williams with the Thunder 45. I love you guys. And the class lengths are perfect. Whether you've got 20 minutes between meetings or just enough time to sneak in a quick workout while the kids are napping, Peloton fits right into your day.

It's all about finding your push and your power. no matter what season of your life you're in. And with Peloton, you've got the variety and motivation to do it all. Find your push, find your power with Peloton at OnePelaton.com. So we go back to the house. Daya's just packing her stuff up. There's a little bit of a montage, the girl saying goodbye, et cetera. Randall goes out to see Shauna and gives her a bag,

says she's bringing the rest of her stuff down. You know, if you ever need any help, right? Like, you know, math and science are kind of my jam. If you need help with homework, and she's like, well, we're going to be in New Jersey. He's like, yeah, but still, like, I can pack the girls up. It would be an easy thing. We just come through and she's like, no, I think we're good.

And you get it. Like the wind that is in Randall Pearson sales, he's like, okay, this one is not going to go that way. So, okay. Yeah. Deja comes out. And she says, goodbye to Beth, very sweet exchange between the two of them, what have you. I got to keep this one together because this one, this one actually got me, for real, for real.

And she's talking to me and she says, you know how when we first met, you were saying you kind of felt split into, right? Because he had, you know, the bio father that you didn't know, but you had this family that you're with it. You obviously loved. she said, well, just because I want to be back with my mom doesn't mean that I didn't really enjoy living here with you guys. He's like, yeah, I know that, right? And I says, well, look, I know you're not too big on me touching everything. She's like, well, that's just when I don't see it coming.

I said, oh, okay. So there's a hug. And, man, man. Yeah. Lord of mercy. There's so much love that, like, that I have for this child that who's now 21 years old. She's a grown. And she was just so mature and just like, it was like, it wasn't hugging.

It was like hugging someone that I've known all my life. Oh, yeah. And, you know, we talk about the big house and the fancy car. And then she just ended by saying, bye, Randall. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And she's gone. And there's a couple tears from Randall.

And he goes to be with his wife as they say goodbye. And the last part of the storyline is after she's gone and there, you see Beth sort of cleaning up her bedroom, folding up blankets, et cetera. And he's like, you know what? I feel like we should try again. Like maybe not immediately, what have you, but I feel like we should do it. And she's like, you know what? We have a lot of love in this house.

and we are set up for it, and we will try again. So there's a positive thing. He's like, you know, and maybe next time, it'll be a little boy. And she's like, a boy, huh? Like, hey, man, make a dream. You know what I'm saying? And then there's a shot. Is this in this episode of a little boy

being talked to by a black woman who, as soon as it's like a social worker. Yeah. And that this little boy could be like, it's a seat. Potentially like the boy that like... And here's it. So, okay, I'm going to say, Give everybody a pause for a second, because if you're watching a long and you haven't gotten ahead, don't listen to this next part.

Yeah. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. Because we know. I didn't realize until watching this again, I was like, oh, wow. That the social worker is grown-up test. Yes. Right? Yes.

And it's such a wonderful. The way these riders be sprinkling. They'd be sprinkling, though. It was a sprinkle, but it was a diversion. It's a diversion sprinkle. So that's where that storyline ends up. So, okay, Chris, what's on your mind? No, I just, the montage and the longing that young William had,

imagining how something might have gone. Not immediately, not as I was watching, but in the days following, and I don't know if you guys have ever experienced this, I had a, like a visceral, it was almost like a memory of what my life would have been if I never moved to New York. Oh, wow. And the important part is it was great.

Oh. Like, I had this, because of the way I was thinking about these episodes and literally the way the show was structured, I had this memory of Rachel and I's life together in Chicago as a theater actor, as a working theater actor, living in our home and, like, the children and the schools. And I could picture the schools because I've seen them and the neighborhoods and like all these things. And that never happened to me before in my life, ever, ever.

And you think it was a direct, like the correlation between this episode? Because I was really sad for young, for young William that he didn't get to have that. Yeah. I hear you. And it was one thing to imagine it. Yeah. And it was another thing to like see it. Yeah.

And it really, really fucked with me. Yeah. And I was kind of blown away that it evoked like a positive version of that for myself. Like it's not that I regret anything that has ever happened. But there was this weird, medicinal, like, sliding door thing that happened. Yeah. And it was, yeah, it was a lot. I was sitting in the car.

I was like, it was like a whole, like a whole other life had been revealed to me. I was like ruminating on the idea that like, these three episodes, there's like this pivot point of pain for all three of the characters, right? Kevin hits rock bottom, Kate loses the baby. Randall says goodbye to Dajia. It's like, it's so interesting that like these three siblings find themselves at this like real inflection point

of like things are about to turn in what direction, who knows? But like maybe it can only go up from here. Right. You know, but I just, I was like, that's so interesting that like they chose this like seemingly you know like innocuous time right like for in the past and in the present but it's like oh no actually like it's all for a reason like it all means something these are very very big monumental chapters sort of coming to a close or to a head for these characters you know so to that point the thought that I have with it is that because in the

And in the next episode, we'll get into Kevin's addiction, right? But because these two siblings had something so critical going on in their own lives as well, like they were not necessarily tuned into what was happening with their brother. Sure. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. And it just reminds you that like, life be life and for everybody. Yeah.

You know? Yep. Because Kate says later on, like, I'm so sorry I wasn't there. I didn't see it. And you're like, you just lost the baby. Yeah. You know what I mean? This is the constant struggle for me in my life is to not, is to stay as present as I can

in my own life while still acknowledging the fact that everybody is going through something. Sure. And to try to be present for them too. Right. For the kids and for Rachel and for some people, I know they're going through stuff. And I'm just like, I got nothing for you. Yeah. I've got no energy.

I don't have any insight. I, you know, sometimes all you can do is just sit with people or just listen or whatever the thing is. But, like, I have definitely been guilty of that, having all of these people around me, going through things. And I'm so self-involved or so self-focused on whatever the thing is, even if it's justified. Sure. Yeah. That they fly by. And it's painful.

And I'm curious how you feel about this, man, because I feel like it is oftentimes the women in our lives that put the needs of others before themselves. So I'm curious to this idea, what you made me think of is like, you know, you got to put your own mask on first so you can help other people get their masks on too. Sure. But I don't know if everybody thinks that way or not. I'm not 100% sure. I think for a big part of my life, though, I'd put my mask on and then worry about how I looked in my mask. Okay. Is it on right?

Am I doing this right? Is it? I don't feel any air coming in. Like, you know what I mean? But you're not wrong. I mean, I think it's the, I'm aware that that is the way it's supposed to go, but it doesn't often unfold that way. It's like my, my, I think I'm predisposed to want to take care of those around me.

And especially, like, being a parent now, it's like that's where my focus is. Like, I need to take care of these, like, I need to take care of these, like, little people that are relying on me, and then I can focus on myself. That's interesting. Because, like, if I take, I mean, true to, like, I was like, if I take care of myself first to the South Terrier, I'm better able to take care of everybody else. One thousand percent. You're not incorrect.

That is not incorrect. That is not incorrect. That's what I'm saying is like, I feel like I'm at this juncture of my life where that doesn't feel as feasible. Sure. No, I understand that. But maybe a couple years removed, I'll be like, yes. And, and, but it does, like, come to a head.

Because sometimes then you reach that point where you're like, if I don't have a moment to breathe for myself, like, I will not be able to fill my cup and therefore be as present as I need to be for my family. I've also been listening to this incredible podcast called, We Don't Always Agree. And I know that if one of the co-hosts, her name's Ryan, Michelle Batchel. that if she were sitting here. She would say, of course you get the chance to take care of yourself. Because somebody else is taking care of everything else.

I hope she hears that. Because she would love so hard because it's exactly what she would say. She would feel validated. Well done. But as long as you come back around and take care of people, taking care of yourself is never a problem.

Self care is not. selfish. Let's go to the past before, because there's still like a little bit of a thing that a quota that I want to get to in the present, but I want to get to the past. So Kate's doing her songs for school. Kev is figuring out what he's doing for college. And Randall's filling out his college applications. Got Harvard and Stanford and all these things, right?

And he's looking at them all or whatnot. But he lingers particularly on this application to Howard University. anecdote Susan Kletchi Watson attended Howard University Sterling K. Brown applied, got accepted to Howard University, visited the campus of Howard University, was probably my second choice. Okay. Beautiful place. Yeah. Gorgeous. And one of the only reasons, one of the main reasons. I was watching, I was wondering about it. One of the main reasons why I didn't go is I thought I would leave with children. There were so many beautiful women. Wait, for real.

Solid as a rock. Like, there were so many beautiful women on that campus. Number one, I was like, I don't know if I can make it. Number two... This is a stupid. Number two was that if you go to an HBC, you by and large, folks be dressing. Like, you dress up for school in a way that you don't around, like, in a P-WI.

You know? And I was like, I don't know. if I have the wardrobe for this school. So if you want to avoid both of those things, the attractive women and the, you go to Stanford University. The multitude of attracted women. It was just.

Sure, sure, sure. Stanford did, we did fine. Bird, you were gorgeous. Yeah, you did okay. I don't want to say Stanford is the whitest college. It's pretty, you know. It's pretty, pretty white. Okay, I digress.

So Randall goes and he finds his dad. Was his dad first or his mom first? I'm trying to remember. He's the dad, I want to go visit this college because his dad was going to take him. He's like, Harvard, you know? I was like, just sounds good coming out of my mouth. Harvard was like, he's like, actually, dad, I would love to go to this other school, Howard. It's in D.C.

And I kind of want to check it out. It's about four hours away. He's like, all right, man, we'll get around to him. He's like, can we go this Friday? Because that's when they're meeting everything. He's like, well, Kev's got a game this Friday. He's like, he always has a game. You know what I'm saying?

He always has a game. Like, he wasn't letting it go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He wasn't being pushy, but he was like, can we do it? He's like, yeah, we can do it. Kind of a first for Randall. You know, seeing him really. Absolutely.

Like, in a very effective but definite manner. Adult. Let's do this. And he's like, okay, cool. And he's just beaming. Like he's thought about it. Yeah, he's thought long and hard because you know that, who's rise character on our show?

Right? Yvette. Yvette's son. Yeah. It's already there. Yes. Keith. That's right.

Thank you very much. If people didn't make that, it took me a second to make that connection. Yeah. I was like, oh, right, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he agrees to go. You see the same scene retold three times, like everybody at the door can be like, oh, don't worry, man. I got plenty of fans.

Ugh. Every time it just makes you cringe. And I have to give Niles credit because Niles, what he does, with the cornyness that is Randall is, whereas like I sort of lean into, like, I got, he just goes, see, hello, cool, K. Like, he's like, it's a dumb line, but he's like, by, hello, Kuket.

And then I evolve it to like, hey, hello, cool K. Like, it's just like, put a little sauce on. Sure, sure. The confidence arrives. There you go. Real quick, I think the interesting mirror of this episode is Randall and Jack pushing the limits of fatherly connection. like really trying to see how far they can get just get in there just hold their kids sure so they get to campus to this point chris they get to campus and there's keith and a bunch of his friends and they're like yo what up r p how you doing and he's so excited i also love they both have on the same kind of coats do jack and randle right like he's got like the sort of like p coat long sort of thing and everybody else is dressed different

Yeah, right? And they're about to join the college tour. And then Keith's like, you know, actually, I was going to show them around some of my friends and anything like that, have it be a little less formal. He's like, well, you got to show them everything, Keith, make sure he's a real tour. A real tour. And he's like, okay. And just Niles' face, Azra, he's just beaming. He's just so happy to be in this place, right?

And you feel Jack like, oh, okay, I thought it was going to be this one thing. You see Jack kind of by himself, what have you. But then you see Randall go through a lot of things, right? He's meeting new people, et cetera. They're shown on the campus. A couple of sisters walked by. And he's like, okay. He's like a Cheshire cat, man.

Like, he can't stop grinning from ear to ear. Just so happy. Then there's this conversation where he's talking to the guys. He's like, you know, like, he goes like, you know, my high school is pretty much all white. And they're like, yeah, mine too. He's like, yeah, mine too. Because I think there's this expectation that everybody here is going to have like this quote-unquote black experience that I haven't had. And so to those guys saying that like, man, my high school's kind of like that too.

My high school's like that too. There's a place for you in this space. You don't need to feel like you are outside of it. Like we all come from a similar sort of thing. And you see them just ease into it even more and more and more, right? So they're out on the quad at the end of the. the thing, and Jack's walking up, because it's time to get back. They got to get back to everything. And you see, Randall kind of go quiet a little bit, and it's like, oh, Dad, I want you to meet

people. There's a little bit of a hesitation, if you will. And he goes, well, it's time for us to go. He's like, oh, really? He's like, yeah, we got to get out of here. So he says goodbye to all the fellas. They're like, hey, man, can't wait to see you. Like, it's all love, right? They're getting the car and they're driving back. The aftergoal, Niles kills this, man. He's just Beaming. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Every part of his fiber is just like activated.

Activated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, how was it? He's like, it's great. It's great. Also, I have to make my voice deeper to catch up with Niles because it was great. And he says, you know, there was a moment there. It seemed like you didn't want to introduce me to your friends or what have you. And he's like, oh, he's like, well, I didn't want to introduce.

Not because you're white. It's because you're old. You're old, right? And Jack was like, oh, okay. Still not 100% convinced, but like, I'll take you at your word. And he goes, but dad, you know that feeling that you felt when you didn't feel accepted for that moment when I didn't introduce you? Feel like that all the time. Yeah.

Off balance is how he put it. Yes. What I love about this conversation is that it is a conversation between a young black man and a white man who love each other. And I think this is one of the magic things. Conversations that are difficult still transpire, and just because they're difficult, doesn't mean they need to be had. But because you know that there's love on this side

and love on this side, I can tell you the truth and you will meet me where I am. Yeah. Right? I wish that was a more readily available thing that we practiced. Sure. You know what I'm saying?

Or just even coming from a place of love so that you don't immediately vilify someone that has something to tell you. Right. Yeah. And so Jack hears him. He's like, we'll make one more stop. And he shows him the wall.

The Vietnam Memorial. Vietnam Memorial in D.C. And he talks about how, you know, he was in the war and he got drafted when he was 25. And a lot of things changed for him. He's like, there's some things that it's hard to talk about. I don't even tell your mom about it, what have you. But when I first got back, I kind of felt out about it. and out of place, too.

It was a moment for me of real sort of like, he empathizes. Yeah. Like he didn't dismiss how he felt. He's like, listen, it may not be the exact same thing. Sure, but I'm going to find a way in. Yeah, but I've felt what you've felt. And I'm going to tell you from my experience, it comes and goes, right? There are times in which you feel a part of and there's times that you feel on the outside of it.

But you just keep showing up, basically, because you belong. And he says, oh, Milo, is it extraordinary? Spectacular. I wrote spectacular. He goes, whatever choices you make, dog, like you need to trust them and lean into him and go with them because you're spectacular. And he goes, no, no, he says it again. Yeah. You're spectacular.

What a word. What a choice. And here's a thing that I thought of. Such a specific choice. Here's a thing that I thought of, too, because this will come up later in terms of the words Jack, you. with Kate as well and how she sort of reaches an impasse with regards to how much she wants to hear them and then something else happens too.

I always think in my head, I don't know if you guys are at this place. This show I think even sort of helps me with it. I want to be the voice in my child's head that they want to hear. Yeah. And I, my wife in particular, I, I, I, I, I, my wife talks to herself she's not crazy she's just she's an only child and she does a lot of like

talking to herself and I like talking out loud talking out loud and I always just sort of like roll up around the corner because I'm always curious what is Ryan thinking now that she won't tell me and sometimes she'll be talking about things that other people have told her about herself

about the industry etc etc and they can be affirming they can be critical or whatnot and I was thinking I was like when my kids, if they do have these conversations with themselves out loud or otherwise, I hope they can think back to the things that their dad said to them, and it makes them feel good. Oh, I have no doubt. Because that spectacular when I was like, that's a good one.

Yeah. That's a good one to have reverberating in your dome for perpetuity, right? Yeah. So that's, is that the end of that storyline? and they all come together, and then, you know, Kevin there at the hospital, et cetera. But, yeah, that's the end of that. And it sort of makes you wonder,

because I know we'll get into it a little bit later on, who are you to bed if he went to Howard? But see, we don't know that. I thought about that watching this episode. Yeah. It was like a little more crushed for him because I thought, wow, what could have been, again, like with William?

Sure. What could have been? What would his life have looked like? Had he been given the, opportunity to go there. Yeah. We'll never know. We'll never know. Oh, except when we get to later on and he had, he dreams about how he went to Howard and we'll get later. We'll get there. Hold on the present is that it sort of wraps up and then we catch up with all three of our big three. Um, mom calls Randall, tells him about Kate losing

the baby. So when Kev shows up and he's like, Randall, I got to tell you something. He's like, I already know, Kate lost the baby. He's sort of like, oh, not fully knowing that as well. And sort of shook. Kev goes into the kitchen, doing a little day drinking, vodka and orange juice, right? This is the same episode, right? Yes.

Vodka and orange juice, taking it to the head in front of the girls. And, you know, Randall can tell, he's like, man, you don't look great. Like, you know, hope you can get it together. But I should go call our sister. And that's probably the right play. We just found out, sister lost the baby.

Like, she needs. And he was like, nah, I'm good, I go. Like, I don't wanna talk to him right now. He's good. And then so he decides telling the girls, he's like, you know what? Just telling her, I had to go, right? So Kev takes off after like downing two glasses, right?

We saw two glasses of O.J. and Bacher. Yeah. He's in the car. He's not, you know, he's swerving a little bit. Yeah, kind of intentionally, right? Like, dangerous driving. Maybe like he wants to hurt himself or who knows. And then we find out that Tess is in the back of the car.

Uncle Kevin, what are you doing? Slow down. And she's like, what are you doing here? Put your seatbelt on. Like, last thing that he ever wanted was for one of his nieces to be in the car with him, right? We see the police, gets pulled over. Phone call to Black Pearson House. Beth is, because we're looking for Tess.

We don't know where she is. Tess is with Kevin, your brother. He just got pulled over for a DUI. All right around and says, I'm going to kill him, right? Yep. That's pretty much where we leave it. Yeah, that's the end of this trilogy, the first trilogy. Okay, so let's just talk about the trilogy.

It was great. Period. There's so much more on the watch. It is. We are going to talk to... Niles. We are going to talk to Niles. Niles.

Yes, we are. Today. Right now. Let's do it. So we'll be right back with More That Was Us. More That Was Us after these words from our sponsors. Who doesn't love the good things in life? I mean, come on.

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to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash T-W-U. Ladies and gentlemen, everyone, we are back with more. That Was Us. We have a special guest with us, as we refer to. The lynch pin I consider of Randall Because there's the younger version Then there's the older version of

But the one that the tie that binds That brings it all together My main man The Cornerstone Niles Beatt What up, honey? How are you doing, bro? Doing great, how are y'all doing today?

We're doing great We're doing great It's so good to see you I was just teasing Niles I was telling me he gained weight in his neck my man then got thicked out you know what I'm saying

he's grown he's graduated from USC well you were 14 15 right when you started the show when you got cast 14 going on 15 now I'm 23 my goodness

look at him college grad he came Niles came to premiere of American fiction one time had a lovely date he was so sweet

it was so great to see him we had fun I always tease him I'm not gonna tell you what I said about because, like, I don't want to embarrass him too much, but he's been one of these people in my life that I've always just been happy to be in the presence of.

Like, you get a chance to see these young people grow up. And you and Milo probably feel it even more acutely than I do. I have, like, these little girls, but you got a chance to see this dude become a man. You a man now, big dog? Yeah. Trying to be, trying to figure it out. It takes a long time.

Oh, my God. I'm still working out. I thought it would click. Yeah. Click overnight. No, no, no. Talk to us a little bit about what's going on in life. You just graduated.

You are, are you a directing major? Like, the focus that you want to do is start being behind the camera or what? So the, the program that I did kind of encompassed it all. So it was directing, writing, editing, producing. Okay. So just any route that, you know, I wanted to take. Yeah. I learned about.

And it was amazing, amazing two and a half years. This man also has sent me a full script. Your script is like 120 pages. I haven't read it yet. I promise I'm going to read your script. Throwing himself under the bus there. I thought he was sitting me like, you know, I'm trying to do this short. And I was like, no, it's 120 pages.

Yeah, proper script. I'm doing real stuff. He's not, he's not sending you shorts. He's not, you want to be in my student film. No, he's graduated. We've graduated to another level. We've graduated to another level. We're watching 210, which is episode number three.

So it has Kevin's episode, then it has Kate's episode, then it has Randall's episode, right? And your storyline sort of focuses on Howard University, applying to colleges and whatnot, but being uniquely sort of pulled to Howard University. You go on a road trip with your dad. Tell us a little bit about your experience of shooting that episode. And this was one of the few times also that TIEU went on the road. They actually went, and I think it was one of the first things to actually shoot at Howard the university.

Really? Yeah. So I'm curious to hear what your experience was like. The experience was really good because at the exact same time, I was also applying to colleges too. Yeah. So I got to do a little tour of Howard and all the students that were helping us on set were super nice.

But being able to travel, especially with Milo, man, it was a great experience. My mom got to come. I had some friends from Atlanta pull up to. Nice. God, being able to travel and work is like the, the, you know, the, you know, the, you know, the, the two best things you can get. One of the comments that I was making to the team is that you as Randall just had this Cheshire cat grin on your face the whole time you're on campus, right?

And I'm wondering, like, how much of that was just Randall and how much of it was. Niles also just being like, yo, it's a campus full of black folks. Like, how cool was it just to be in that environment? They call it the mecca. What was it like to be there? That was 100% all night. like you know not only that at the time I'm 17 yeah so I'm seeing people in college I'm seeing you know I'm seeing what I'm about to become yes so I was bright-eyed and you know I wanted to

experience every everything that I could in the little time that we had out there absolutely did you say it was the first time anything had filmed it I don't know if it's the first time but they don't let a lot of people from what I remember talking to from sue like on to the a lot. So, but at least shooting Howard for Howard. Interesting. I think it was one of the few times. Oh, that's very cool. Yeah. Very cool. Niles, can you walk us through the process of how you got on this as us? Like, your audition process, what you knew about the show, because we've talked to Logan and Hannah and the audience is aware that, like, we did shoot a sort of younger version of the teenage big three. And then they realized that there wasn't enough of a

jump between the young version and what because your characters had to sort of like live through jack passing away and so it just wasn't going to work age-wise so you guys had to kind of like jump in very last minute what was the process like yeah my process uh so i originally auditioned when the show before it even came out okay okay i believe dan was in the final meetings but it was me and like a bunch of kids that were lying mackenzie's parker age okay And I'm 14 at the time, so I'm looking around and I'm like, okay, this probably isn't going to go my way. So then maybe three months later, out of the blue, I get a call to come in, you know, audition. I audition on a Thursday after school.

The next day I'm getting out of class, I get a call saying that I booked it and I need to be ready to do wardrobe the next day because we film Saturday and Sunday. So it happened in less than two days. Oh, man. Nuts. And then I'm coming on set and Milo's like, oh, we have a lot in store for you guys. And I'm looking like, you know, to me, this is a one episode thing.

And one episode turned into six years of my life. Wait, wait, you were just, they asked you to do one episode? Like there wasn't a full contract that you signed for multiple years? It was just one. I had no idea, especially because I hopped on, hopped on and they said that it was potential to be a guest star.

Like a reoccurring? I think it was only a guest star at that point. Wow. And, you know, here we are. And then we were reoccurring and then series regulars. Wow. It happened so quick. And I was only in LA for six months prior to that.

Wow. Are you serious, man? And that's how it goes for everybody. Yeah. It's just that easy. You have to put your time in and then they call. When you least expect it. You're totally when you least expect.

Talk to us a little bit about the relationship that you, Hannah, and Logan had with each other through that whole process because you guys were with each other all the time. And it seemed like a really authentic and beautiful bond between TV siblings. Talk to us a little bit about it. Well, I think Hannah and I's relationship specifically was able to grow when we first started because we both lived in the same area. Okay. And I didn't drive. So my mom was working. So Hannah and I would carpool to work nearly every single day.

And then, you know, Logan and I would go surfing and we would hit up six flags all together. So just over time, we truly, you know, built this brother and sister relationship and even post-filming. They were at my graduation, my birthday party that I had, you know, a couple months back. They took me out to dinner after I graduated, but, you know, we really built a real bond, and I'm glad to have been able to meet them, you know. We heard about that birthday party. We know, we were, you know, we were, you know, we were just, you know, I, we were like, where was our invitation?

So my address, there you go. Yeah, yeah, it got lost in the mail. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's totally cool. It's totally cool. How long? How long before, how long were you on the show before you three going to Universal Studios together became an international incident? Oh, that's a good question. Like, I'm sure, I'm sure you became quickly recognizable, especially when you were together.

Man, maybe not until like two seasons in. Okay. Then it was like we go to Six Flags and people are taking pictures. But luckily, the demographic that would recognize it usually wasn't at a Six Flags. That's true. Sure. Okay. Slightly older demographic.

Yeah. You know, we were able to traverse it and not have any problem. You got to go hang out at old folks' homes like me and Sterling. To get recognized. We just wander in and be like, could you see if we can help with anything? People go crazy. Was it, is it, I mean, after six years of doing the show, would you say that it has, it changed your life? Has it changed anything in terms of career opportunities or trajectory?

or have things kind of like mellowed out again? Like tell me what life is like right now and especially immediately after the show to know. I think what was great about me doing the show was I had started acting when I was three. So I had been working before the show. So when getting on the show, I think my mindset was,

okay, this is a great stepping stone for now giving me a platform for people to be able to see my talent. So I really tried to utilize that to, you know, when we would have an off-season be working on something else. So I was always just building up the resume to be able to show one day, hey, you can trust me with a $10 million, $15, you know, $15,000 budget. You said, $15 million dollar budget, not $15.

That's the short films that I was got asked for a lot. That's right. He hasn't read those scripts either. $15 for you, Bigel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Since filming the show, since finishing the show, I did this movie that did really well in festivals with Jenna Ortega and Maddie Ziegler called Fallout. Okay.

Get this comedy on Netflix with Anthony Mackie. Yes. And I have this TV show coming out by Mara Brock and Keely and produced by Regina King. Okay. Called Forever Gats to come out next year and then I was doing college. So just trying to stay busy, man. Yeah, yeah, just a little busy. Just a little busy.

I'd stay busy, you know? Priorit high school. Did you and Regina meet on This Is Us ever? Never did. Never did. So it was really cool being able to meet her and to be able to meet somebody that you've looked up to and then to exceed your expectations on how kind of a person they are. Yeah. It meant a lot.

Yeah, she's an incredible lady. She's exceptional. And she does it all too, you know. That's right. And she's directing and acting and producing. You guys have a very similar trajectory or could have a very similar trajectory. I could see that. We'll have, come on.

Yes. Yes. I got you. Thank you. Let me ask you a little bit more about two 10, especially just scenes with Milo. You talked to us a little bit about being on the campus or whatnot and how the smile was real, because I had a feeling that it was. But just the scenes with Milo, because these race conversations between a young black man and a white, and a white man, right?

And how, if you remember it, I don't even know, like, how much you can remember because it was such a long time ago. But talking about, Dad, you know that feeling that you had for a moment when you thought that I didn't introduce you to my friends because you were white? Like, I feel like that all the time.

Like, I'm curious for a young man, what was like to tackle those scenes dealing with race head on. I think it really helped me and Milo had a very honest relationship. Yeah. And I was in the show, you know, We do have you and Lonnie and your family in the show.

But when it came to my age range, I was the only, you know, black person. So I would even experience it when we were, you know, when we'd have an event or, you know, they're going up to Logan or Hannah and, you know, I'm just there. So being able to then talk about that in the scene with Milo, I felt like was very natural because I was kind of already experiencing that, you know, in my real life. and Milo is someone that I feel like he's aware of race in America. So it was honestly seamless and he's such a great, you know, person to act with in a scene. So it really, I feel like it worked.

Oh, it was definitely. Very effective. To put it lightly, it worked. Sterling was talking about it being a, a bit of a, a bit of a, a healing, a magical moment, a moment of healing, not just for the two characters, but for himself and for the audience watching. It was this moment when he was,

you guys are sitting outside of the Vietnam Memorial or whatnot, and he's telling you, you know, whatever, sometimes you're going to feel off balance, and sometimes you won't, you know, but whatever choices you make, you lean into him because you're going to make spectacular choices. You are spectacular, and you try to shrug it off again.

He says, no, I'm repeating, like, you're spectacular. Like, you should know that about yourself. And I was saying, I hope that my children, when they look back in life, when they hear their dad's voice, they hear things that are affirming who they are in the world and are buoyed by what they hear in terms of their father's voice in their head, right? And so I thought that scene was beautiful in that way between you and Milo because, man, how delicious. For me, as an actor, I got a chance to hear that from time to time as I'm moving through Randall's arc in life right now, knowing that somebody believed in me like that. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. And, you know, this is something that you'll understand. You know, I lost my father young. You lost your father young. Yeah. But some of those conversations that I wish I would have been able to have in college, I wasn't able to have with him. Yeah. So in a way, being able to do that on screen with someone that I've known for years and trust, it was healing for me.

And I don't even think I understand the implications that it probably has had on my development to be doing a role where you're like a unicorn, but people are pouring into you around you, on set and offset. Yeah, you know. That's what's up, man. Yeah, very true. Lord, you forget sometimes, like, this thing called acting or whatever, you know, like a lot of people, I said this before, they feel like it's make-believe, and yes, it is. But it's also, you invest yourself as fully into the given circumstances of the characters so that you don't have to act, you can be, right?

And so, like, the difference sometimes between Niles and Randall, between Sterling and Randall, between Toby and Chris and between Rebecca and Mandy is very thin. Yeah. You know? If you're doing it that way, you know? Yeah. What else y'all got for this deal?

Oh, you know what? Before I let you go. Because, I mean, hopefully, hopefully we'll get a chance to have you back later as we get into other storylines for young. Because I'm so curious once you meet Beth. Like, that whole storyline, like for a second, I didn't know if they were going to put me in young age makeup.

I was like, Brown, you look too old. Let's go ahead. Let this young man do this thing. Just hoping. Just wishing and hoping. But I'm sort of curious because, like, because you were young and you were going through or whatnot. Like, talk to me us a little bit about that whole Beth Randall storyline for you. I mean, and what's our girl's name? Rachel. You and Rachel.

I'm just curious, like, what that process was like, what that relationship was like, how you enjoyed it, et cetera. No, it was really cool. And, you know, Rachel was a fantastic actress. And I believe when we started working together, I think I was 17 and she was 24 going on 25. Oh, yeah. You're like, okay, old, all right, Sterling. Let him finish.

Let the young man eat. Come on, let's do this thing. So for me, I always felt like, you know, she doesn't even know this, but she was always so mature and so talented. In a way, I felt like I was always trying to make sure that, you know, I was likable or, you know, I was mature. or, you know, when we did do a scene together, that it was everything that she envisioned and then some.

So it was really cool then I felt like that really portrayed well in the relationship. That sounds so much like Randall, you know what I'm saying? Just trying to please, absolutely. And like every man who's ever met a woman. But, Niles, you have always been so wise beyond your years. You were never a 14 or 15-year-old. I mean, you are, I would say your kindness and maybe, like, innocence, but, like, the level of talent, I think it speaks to, like, all three of Logan and Hannah. Like, you guys all arrived so fully formed.

You knew who these characters were, even though you were thrown in at the last minute. It's wild. And, like, you were thrust in this, like, crazy situation. And you all rose to the occasion in such, like, a spectacular way to bring that word back around. It's like I have such visceral memories of like, I mean, shooting the Super Bowl episode, us like being out in the cold on that roof together. I mean, we just like we lived some really crazy things with each other, but you were always so fully realized.

You knew who you were as an actor, as a human. And it's just like it's so nice to see you now as truly an adult. Yeah. But you've always been that. I'm going to be honest, though. And I told this to Sterling, I was faking until I made it. Well, we all are to a certain degree, truly. We just admit it to that, too.

I don't know what the hell I'm doing, bro. No. It's all good. And if you are going to be directing, I'm also accepting scripts. I just want to put that out there. Yeah, we all can't wait to work for you, Nile. Nowes, if you want people to follow you on IG, anything, where can they find you? And if there's anything else, they're supposed to be looking out for you for right now, let the people know.

My name is, on Instagram is Niles Fitch. Forever comes out next year on Netflix. Okay. Exciting. Yeah, I'll be seeing you guys around. Niles, thank you so much for joining us. Give him a gun flex real quick because Niles has been working on the guns. Go on Sean. Go on Sean.

No, I'm not doing that. No, no, no, no. No, no. No, no. Listen, hold on, Niles. It's not, it's not vanity. We need people to subscribe on YouTube. They can see it in.

Forever. Oh, fair enough. He said they can see it. Netflix next year. Make sure we watch forever so you can see Niles's gun show. Yeah, they'll see the gun show. Appreciate you. See, but Lowe's going to do it and then Sterling was going to do it and completely kill me.

I was not. I'm covering up. No, he's covering it and it's still there. You stop. You guys. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Niles Fitch. Let's give it up for him one more time. Thank you for joining us, brother.

We love you so much. So much. We'll be right back with more. That was us. I mean, how great was it to talk to Niles? Absolutely wonderful. And see him. Seeing everybody just grow up.

You know what I'm saying? Like babies becoming grown-ass people is pretty damn cool. Yeah, he was 14 and now he's 23. He's a college grad. Lord, have mercy. A grown man. And he's so unattractive. I know.

That's the only thing he doesn't have going for him. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? It's tough. YouTube. You don't see what we're talking about. Yeah. You'll see what we're talking about.

Poor guy. If you've ever had a reason to love. like and subscribe it's uh to see the interview with with nice he's gained weight in his neck beautiful man that is it for this episode if you guys want to uh contact us reach out to us in any shape form of fashion you can email us at that was us pod at gmail dot com you can also leave us a message on our emotional support hotline that number is 412501 3028 yes do that and do what you said Yes. Do both of those things.

All of those things. Like, subscribe, tell your friends. Tell your homey, man. Help grow the show. Tell one person. We want to stick around for as long as possible. We want to do this for the entirety of the series. That's what we're trying to do.

So that we can keep saying... That was us. All right, and welcome to your favorite part of the episode, The Retread, brought to you by Peloton. Find your push, find your power with Peloton. What we talked about in this episode. Well, we talked about two specific things. One, it turns out Niles Fitch is the most beautiful cast member of this is us. He's pretty handsome.

An incredible human being, with an incredible future ahead of him. Absolutely. And we talked about the fact that Sterling King Brown could not go to Howard University for the fear of impregnating too many women. I was scared. I can understand. A lot of beautiful women. And it sounds like Niles had a very similar experience visiting Howard.

He just said that that was mostly Niles and not the character. He was just elated to be there. The smile on his face, like any time it's saying, Mr. Walkmeyer's like, oh, man. He's in the right place. He's a 17-year-old kid who's amongst, like, you know. Star of a TV show. Star of a TV show.

That's a good point. You know, getting a little bit of attention. I'm here working, ladies. I'm here working. Coincidentally applying to colleges himself, so it's like he was living this shared experience with Randall of like, wow, could I go here? He also shared a really interesting thing about how both he and I

lost our fathers at an early age, but like having Jack on the show, his relationship with Milo was a surrogate of sorts for the father that wasn't there, and it was healing. So it was really cool to hear that as well. Right? Find your push. Find your power.

With Peloton. That Was Us is filmed at Rabbit Grin Studios and produced by Rabbit Grin Productions. Music by Taylor Goldsmith and Griffin Goldsmith. da-da-dum that was us