That Was Us - Randall and Beth's Love Story | "R & B" (317) with special guest Rachel Hilson

Episode Date: September 2, 2025

On today’s episode of That Was Us, we’re diving into Season 3, Episode 17: R & B. We see the highs and lows of Beth and Randall’s relationship through flashbacks spanning their first date to married life, including the birth of their first baby, leading to a present-day fight that could change everything. Mandy, Chris, and Sterling chat about arguments with your spouse, the feeling of raising your kids so well that they don't need you, and the impact of a bombshell statement like the one Randall made in last week's episode. Be sure to watch and listen to the fan segment, because we have the lovely and talented Rachel Hilson, who plays young Beth, joining us on the pod! That Was Us is produced by Rabbit Grin Productions. Music by Taylor Goldsmith and Griffin Goldsmith. ------------------------- Support Our Sponsors: - BAU, Artist at War opens only in theaters, for a limited run beginning September 26th. Go to https://www.baumovie.com/ to watch the trailer, read about Josef’s real-life journey, and find showtimes near you. You can also sign your organization up for group screenings.- Buy four cartons and get the fifth free, at https://davidprotein.com/thatwasus. You can also find David on Amazon and at local retailers—just use the store locator on their website. Humans aren’t perfect, but David is. - Brought to you by Bombas, One Clothing Item Purchased = One Clothing Item DonatedHead over to https://bombas.com/ and use code TWU for 20% off your first purchase. ------------------------- 🍋 About the Show: The stars of This Is Us, Mandy Moore, Sterling K. Brown, and Chris Sullivan, dive back into the world of the Pearsons, reliving each episode and all the life lessons that came with it. Together, they dig in and dig deep, have the tough conversations, bring in very special and familiar guests, share never-before-heard behind-the-scenes moments, and feature listeners in highly anticipated fan segments. Join your favorite family back in the living room to examine our past, cherish our present, and look to the future with new episodes of That Was Us every Tuesday. ------------------------- 00:00:00 Intro 00:00:32 Discussion 01:01:23 Interview 01:23:27 Outro Executive Producers: Natalie Holysz, Rob Holysz & Jeph Porter Creative Producer: Sam Skelton Video Editor: Todd Hughlett Mix & Master: Jason Richards #thisisus #thatwasus Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode of that was us. We're diving in the season three, episode 17, R&B. Through flashback spanning their first date to married life to having a baby, we see the highs and lows of Beth and Randall's relationship leading to a present-day fight that could change every. Oh, no, here we go. How are you guys? I'm on the edge of losing my mind. I thought I'd just wait until we rolled on the podcast to do it.

Says Married People Everywhere after watching episode 317, including Sterling K. Brown himself. Yeah. It's not comfortable. It's not the episode I need. You know when life comes at you from every direction? Yeah. And it won't let up for a second.

Yeah. And then you've got to watch an episode like R&B, which is like, no, no, no. No. Randall and Beth are where I go for stability. Yeah. There are a safe space. Because right now, everything else in life is driving me crazy. Yeah.

Yep. Let's talk through it. Okay. We start at the continuation of this fight that was kind of, we were left with a literal door closing. Yeah. In the previous episode. Like, let's go. Yeah, totally. It's like gloves off.

Right? Yeah. And just the simple fact that she was like, you know, talked about this horrible message that Randall left her. Wasn't the best. and how her husband would never talk to her that way. That is correct. I was like, oof, that is. Yeah.

I still love that forever we were talking about, we were waiting for the moment where you told her to put a pen in it. Yeah, and then, but we never talked about this phone call. Yeah. This was the moment. I'm going to tell you something, though, when you have to do something to someone's face,

like the part of it connects differently. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But when you get a chance, you say it to do, boom, I don't like, and they hang up. It's like I, there was anonymity. There's a little bit of space. Sure. There's not the same like accountability.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Connecting with someone in person. Yeah. Sure. I know. I just spent the whole weekend going back and forth with somebody on text. Did you? It was essentially, I was like, all right, you want to do this?

Let's do this. But now let's not fully do it. Let's do it over text. Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. A little bit of space. Continue, man. You're rolling. Well, no, just that he was trying to hurt her feelings.

He did say that. And I think Beth bringing up the fact of, like, when has she never not had Randall's back? You know, like every single whim and flight of fancy that he has, she's like, I have been on board for every single thing. And the one time that I have finally, like, I'm digging in my heels, I've really sort of connected with what I'm passionate about and where I want my life to go, that's when, like, the problem really arrived. And it's true. It's so hard not to see like both sides of this fight, right? But like I tend to want a side with Beth. Like, do you know what I mean? Like I get that like, you know, Randall's apologetic and he didn't mean what he said on the phone. But it's sort of like I don't buy his excuses for them kind of being in this place. It's like it's really hard to want a side with him. He's doubled back. one too many times correct explain what you mean well the the if at any point you want me to pull out i'll pull out yeah i want you to pull out i'm not pulling out yeah totally like like like i can't say no i can't say no to this like i have to like i've given the people my word i have to follow through

and it's like yeah yeah right and then and then and then i was trying to hurt your feelings i'm sorry please don't listen to the message like yeah yeah yeah yeah i used to hurt people's feelings on purpose right because it was a it was a weapon and it was a and i don't anymore which i'm very proud of like it's like a big therapeutizing of my human interaction to like pause right pause and just keep pausing yeah until you can present yourself in a clear and and less emotional fashion that's maturity but i've matured yeah i've matured yeah good for you but yeah do you I've definitely used the knowledge of people's emotions. Yeah.

Like, know just the thing to say, just to, right? Yeah. I don't know if that's where I tend to go. I'm definitely not, I don't think I'm, my husband and I are not, like, we don't quarrel too often. Quarrel. Quarrel, do we love? We don't really often. We don't fight.

We're not big fighters. The last quarrel we had was in the library. with a pipe with a pipe no we don't fight often I am terrible at confrontation I don't like confrontation I will avoid it at all costs but also I think that if we do fight like I definitely dig my heels in a lot longer like Taylor will want I want time to digest what I'm upset about and not like dive in and Taylor's pretty insistent on like, no, no, let's talk about things now. Let's not go to bed upset or let's not like leave it to just sort of fester. And I'm a bit more like immature. Same exact relationship. Really? Yeah, yeah. I'm like, no, I don't want to talk about it. Rachel needs time. I'm pissed. The, the hard part is then Rachel takes so much time that we never come back to it. And so I keep like trying to like, guys, check in. Do we all have the same relationship? Are you, really?

you want to talk about things? Yeah, I do. Wow, I love that. I really try to as quickly as possible because I've recognized in our 19 years of history that if it goes unaddressed, it grows. Whether it's silently in the corner or whatnot, it's still growing.

It's not like it's gone. It's just sort of becoming something. And the sooner you're able to tell. And what I've learned for us, right, confrontation isn't the scary part. It may be uncomfortable. Like, not all sort of confronting always feels good. The scary part is when we stop talking.

Yeah, of course. Oh. Yeah. Those silences. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those silences. And as we'll find out with Randall and Beth, you know, they're both capable of talking about it. Sure.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, oh, yeah. And we find out from the beginning. So we flash back to. Randall on the phone with his brother talking about this girl and how much he likes her and how he holds the door open so that he can just sort of hold the door open for her and get a moment. And Kev's like, look, man, let me go ahead and help you out real quick, right?

Yeah. He's like, you know, Steve Martin did it in his movie. He's like, I got way more game than Steve Martin. First of all, who has two landlines in the dorm room? I know, I know, this whole conversation is flawed. And he's, what, listening through your other? ear? Like he hears the comment. He's got two landlines, one up to each ear. Yeah. And Kevin's what? Hearing through the tunnel in your ears? Like two cans on a string? There's, there's some

there's some plot. Yeah, we have to. There's a few, there's a few holes. Listen, it doesn't happen often on our show. The double landline. In order for Kevin to hear, in order for Kevin to hear, You would have had to hold both of those receivers and 69 them. You had to flip them and press them up against each other. And also to me, like what always is so silly is the person on the other line waiting? Like Rachel, who plays young Beth, like just like, hello? Why are you taking so long to answer my questions? You weirdo?

And then coming back with your weird pickup line? She would have hung up immediately like, hello? More than likely. Okay, no one's there. Bye. Also, shout out to the. roommate real quick. And Niles for the one line and just like, stop listening to my phone

calls. You're talking right in front of me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What do you want? There's no space in a door room. Bro, you're the one who brought the second landline. Yeah. I'm watching a man have two phone conversations on two landlines while I'm trying to polish my trombone over here. Funniest instrument. Funniest instrument. But that's really what he is doing. It's not a euphemism.

He was really trying to polish. He was over there polishing his trombone. Trying to get ready for marching band and his psychotic roommate. With two landlines. Two landlines. Oh my gosh, but you know Hopkins probably has a dope-ass marching band. Anyway, so he gives him a line. He's like, you know what, I'm taking you to dinner tonight. How do you guys know the line?

It's something like that. I forget, like. It's something very sort of just real cool. Yeah, I'm taking, oh, I'm calling to take you to dinner tonight. What time should I pick you with? There you go. There you go. She's sort of charmed by.

And she's like, yeah, I'll go out on the date with you. No problem. So you go to the date. This is, I think they were both really wonderful in this scene. I just have to say, both Niles and Rachel, killed the shit. For sure. Kilted it. My man has got his tie on.

During a nice restaurant. Yeah, really nice restaurants, got his jacket. I don't know where they found that restaurant. That was that a set or was that on an actual restaurant? No, that must be an actual restaurant. It was so stuffy. Yeah. I was like instantly, her and her.

her hoodie and him in his suit and tie. And I was like, oh, boy. And they're the youngest patrons by, like, 30 years, at least, like, 40 years. But he's just, like, it's the smile. It's just the joy that this young man has of, like, being in the presence of this girl that he likes so much is palpable. Like, I felt it. I was like, okay, that is the feeling.

Like, that's the feeling. And he's like, I don't have any game, but what I have is pure honesty. like he goes so deep so fast and as an older man I'm like you don't have to tell her all that big dog yeah it's the first date man you can hold some of that shit in wait for date number two he goes to his dead dad like within seconds but but he goes there so like he takes himself by surprise yeah yeah and he's like oh man I have not talked about him I'm sorry and then to her credit she's like yo my dad passed away too you know what i'm saying i don't know if you ever can really be ready for one way or the other he had cancer for a long time but she's like i'm not going to leave you hanging

she tries to like help him out help this dude out but also probably surprised by his admission and the fact like oh well we have that in common i wasn't expecting that yeah because again it's like it's a perfect example of especially randle but like 50-50 incredible to have the vulnerability to say that on a first date. Yes. Also, do not say that on the first day.

And that's also a side of Randall we've never really seen before. In quite this context, you know, like he is someone that keeps it close to the vest. He's stoic.

He's there for mom. Like, kind of this whole period of their life, these last, what, like five, six months, however long it's been.

Um, he's really held it together and it's like, I think you really recognize this instant connection that he felt with Beth in order to be, vulnerable enough to like just like unload that on her on the first date is like that really

speaks to just how meant to be they really were yeah the waiter comes over and he's like listen it's it's the restaurant policy can you pay for your meal up front and randle's like cool whatever it takes he's going to write a check do do restaurants like let's have that quick question real quick is this is us slipping in this episode i don't every no like because like if i'm saw my parents write a check at a restaurant. If I was the waiter, I'd be like, what are you doing? Yeah. Where your card?

Yeah. Where to cash? Like, where to cash at? Cash. Cream, but cash rules everything around me. Cream get the money. Not a check. What? You guys never heard cream?

No. It's Wu-Tang. Got it, got it, got it. You don't understand what I'm saying. But I was like, he pulled out a check and like it was going to be perfectly legit. It's all good. I know, it must be somewhat acceptable. Like, I feel like that's too big of a detail.

Maybe. Well, first of all, he doesn't have a credit card, obviously. And I don't think he has that kind of cash. And so, like, you know, maybe that's like the checkbook that mom sent. ATMs were around. Okay. Yeah, this is 98, 99. Yeah.

Because we're like the same. I'm two years old. But I don't think that, like, mom sent him off to school with an ATM card. Like, probably just the checkbook. It's like in case of emergency. And that server, when he pulled out of a checkbook, should have just said, now you're definitely not even. Like, we know you don't have no idea.

Before he got a chance, and you could see the server had a look on his face. He's like, oh, man, I hate to be doing this, but, like, it's policy. And Beth was like, no, I ain't seen nobody else do this. Because it's not policy. It's not policy. It's not. And Randall says it even later. It's like, I don't care if it's policy or not.

I'm just trying to keep this night going. Yeah. Right? I'm just like, I'm with you. You're beautiful. I tried to present myself in the best way. that I knew how to because I think you deserve a great first date, right? Again, and it's just, it's right, and it's also, he's just, he slash we are a lot.

As everyone, as Deja says, you're a lot. You're a lot. But I love that Beth is like, we're not eating here. Like this is not going to do. Yeah. We need to get out of it. And at the end of it, she said, look, man, you're nice, dude. Everybody's been trying to hook us up.

Because we basically, you know, two black people at this school, right? But, like, you come in with a tie. All I want is some nachos and ginger beer. Yeah. That's my favorite thing. Like, look, this has been great, but please just don't call me again.

All right? Yeah. Cool. And what does that do for old Randall? My man rolls back to his dorm room. Smiling. Like the Cheshire cat. Elated.

Man, ear to ear. And he's like, my man asking how to go. And he's like, great. Yeah. I'm going to marry. and let me tell you guys something this is funny slight quite slide tangent here i there's one of two people that i was going to marry from stanford university uh-huh one of them was ryan michel buffet and i told my friends i was like i'm going to marry her or her wow wow

bro you talk about somebody who is right this is right he does knowledge yes yeah this is less sweet you know. I know. Because there's two. There's two. It was like either or 50. This story. That's what you to know, this is a less sweet story. But I was an Econ major, so I had to like, wait, just check some balances, right? But yeah, I was close. I have enough Randall in me to understand that. Because I was like, yeah, it's going to be one of those two people. Wow.

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for SELOR Stellis Lenses at your child's next visit. So then we jump up to Sue and Sterling playing young Beth and Randall. Randall comes in, he's singing a little song tour, just being silly or whatnot. But evidently, he's proposed. Multiple, multiple, multiple times. And she keeps saying no. And she just keeps saying no. But also I was like, I'm like, okay, Sterling is cooler than Randall.

I was like, Sterling is a much better dancer than Randall would be. In my opinion. Sure, I appreciate that. I was like, okay with the booty. I was like, it's. Yeah. We're having fun. Also, Sterling came in clean-shaven?

Yeah. Yeah. And your face had like an ASMR effect of. on me. I was like, okay. That face is giving me feelings. Really? Like your skin was so soft. Your skin was skinning. And like growing and I was like clean shaving baby face. And I was like, I was like, I'm hearing like wind chimes. It's a lot of face for me to look at. I appreciate that. Thank you. No, no, no, it works. It was. It was. I just was laughing at the dancing. I was like, yeah, it was purposefully ridiculous. It was, yeah, but you're

cool. I appreciate that. I was like, no. I was like, I appreciate that. I see you, Sterling. We had fun doing that. And then what, we're about to sort of, like, the party's about to get started, right? It's like, we're going to get a chance to see them be Amherst or whatnot. And he's like, oh, man, it's Sunday. We got Sunday dinner with the moms, right?

Because if Randall's, if he is one thing, he's a mama's boy. Yeah. Loves his mom through and through. And Beth is like, do we have to do Sunday dinner? I was just thinking, you know, we haven't done mini golf in a while. He's like, oh, mini golf is the jam. Mom would love that. Mom's going to love that.

Great delivery. It was so good. It was a hang on the door. She's going to love that shit. Boom. And next we see, shout out many more. Like every time there's this delightful glee and just joy of being around your children. Like you see it in 318 as well, which we'll get to when we get to 318 of just a desire to be of help and of service and just lovely.

Yeah. Right? And Beth is like, yo, we need to get your mom. a date. Yeah. And also, I don't know why it hit me so hard this time. Maybe I just hadn't watched an episode or so in a lot. But like you and that makeup gone.

Like, Manny Moore just gone. Bro. Like that. Bro. Like, when we get to the end of 3.18. Yeah, forget about that. Anyway. So anyway.

So anyway. I remember doing these scenes. What do you remember? Well, what I remember is, I guess, to speak to the makeup is, you know, we jump around in time so often. And there are certain time periods that, like, we haven't quite hit on. And I believe this was one. This, like, interim before, you know, present-day Rebecca, where she's noticeably older,

but she has to be somewhat older from the time of Jack's passing. So it was, like, tricky of, like, we're going to use these prosthetic pieces and we're going to do this kind of painting. And also knowing, like, just where I was in life, where I, like, hadn't met Miguel yet, but, like, it was just, it's interesting. So it's like, I remember, like, that transition of, like, it was a whole new mental game to play with myself of, like, where is she? Where is she living? What is, what does her life look like? What are her days consist of? And, and also just, like, yeah, like, you guys playing this

younger, like, this was the youngest version you guys had played. Because we had seen, we later see your wedding in this episode. And that, so it was, It was just like an interesting, like I just remember clocking it. I remember the mini-golf, like, Chris and I were saying earlier, there's like this lost period of this show for me, for us, of like season three and four that like things get a little like grainy. Yeah. Forgotten.

Like one and two, it's so sharp in my mind. And like three and four things are a little fuzzier. Right, yeah. So it's interesting, like just rewatching as an audience member now going like, oh, yeah. Yeah, that's what happens. Yeah. And then you're immediately brought back. But I remember, like, you know, it's not often that, like, we have these sorts of scenes where, like, you do kind of get to have fun.

And, like, there's, you know, a lot of, like, information learned as well. Like, this episode, there's just so much, there's interesting backstory. Yeah, right. That, like, is really pertinent to, obviously, where we are present day. and there's like it's just new territory new ground that like we're treading that's exciting to watch it's fun and it's also it takes a lifetime of relationship for randle and beth to know each other this well yeah yeah yeah and it's amazing how when you put it all in an episode of television like you get such a flood of information yeah on their relationship in this episode and everything

just becomes like it was it was clearly a strong relationship before that but now it's in like, it's in 4K. Yeah, right. It's so clear. It's like in Technicolor or something. You're like, oh, I knew and I understood Beth and Randall. But, man, I can't believe it took like to the end of season three for us to get this like fully realized, you know, backstory of how they met, how they got, you know, like all of it. It's so interesting.

You like replay all the moments you've seen of them before and they all make sense in a different way. Really? Yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's interesting. Okay. Okay.

Yeah, this episode, the season finale of season three and the first episode of season four, like, were a whole different emotional experience for me. Yeah. Because it was, we're right in the middle of this lost, quote unquote, lost period. Where it's like, oh, right. And it's just like everything's making sense of the past and the future, what's to come in it. Yeah. So, okay, but just to continue in that episode, that what winds up coming out at the many

golf is like, you know, you say to, Rebecca says to Beth, like maybe one of these days you'll accept one of his proposals or something like that, right? And Beth is like the record scratch, like, you told your mom about the proposals? And he was like, yes. You know what I'm saying? She said, even the one, even the one where you, very tasteful about that one. Don't worry about it. I want to know about that one. And I think like the idea for Beth, I believe, is like, why, I, dude, can we have anything that's just ours? Can I have something that's just mine? You know what I'm saying?

Like, does she have to be involved in all of it? Right? And I think Randall's hurt from his perspective because, like, what do you want me to do? Right? Like, and I have real empathy for him because he's like, my sister's sort of kind of doing her own thing. My brother's in New York doing his thing or whatnot. Like, this is my girl. Yeah.

You're my girl. and this is my girl and so like I can't not be with my girl just the same way that I can't not be with my girl you know what I'm saying it's King Solomon if you bring the baby to me

I can't split the baby in two and give you one half and one half you know what I'm saying like what do you want me to do right but I understand from her perspective too is like well you gotta make a choice right have you have anybody felt any kind of tug of war like that before in terms of partner parents

type of thing. No, not, not in this way. Okay. Okay. You? Yeah. Love it. You want to speak out at all? No, I mean, it's just, it's, it's, it's that transition. It's that, it's that spiritual transition of, you know, leaving your father's house, quote unquote, right? Of like, transitioning, you know, from boy to believe and clean to man, you know, and, and having to make your own mistakes, learn your own lessons, start your own life, and to watch parents, essentially the place Rebecca is in right now, which is just untethered. There is no child at home. There is no partner at home. There are no grandchildren. No. No. No. No. I'm the first to have that. Yeah. That's right. And so there's this like, you know, and I can feel it happening already with my kids.

where it's like they're becoming my purpose you know they're becoming my yeah oh bro my my meaning and and when that purpose is evaporates like almost instantly it sounds like from parents who've been through it it's like and then one day they're just gone and they don't need you in that same way anymore and you have been dedicating your life to this person yeah um and now they're gone and they don't need you and they need to not need you. Right. Hopefully they come to you if they do. Sure, sure.

It will be the great tragedy of my life if I prepare my children so well for life that they don't need me. Yeah, the great tragedy, but also, like, what a legacy. What you want. Yeah, it's what we're working towards. It's what you want. Bright sadness.

It's the holding of both things. Right, we did a good job. Off they go. And now they don't need us. But maybe we can sew in like a couple of like some misinformation, Mandy. You know, like some things where it's like, you want to know how to change your tire? Well, first you can a whipped cream. Yeah.

So they always need you. So they always have to come back to you for something. There you go. So in this, in the end of this thing, Beth says, I don't want my life to be consumed by my husbands. And Randall, you can. consume things, right? And Randall's like, you know what? Listen, I'm gonna go.

If you don't want me, then you don't have to deal with me. I'm gonna go take some space, and then they have a conversation with each other, do Beth and Rebecca. And you say, like, I'm happy it's gonna be you. But that's, real quick, that's an interesting character dynamic too, because I've had the exact same thing with Rachel, where it's like, early on in our relationship, you know, you want to marry, you want to marry the song and dance man. You want to marry the clown.

you want to marry the actor, like, and I was in a place where it was like, I could walk into a room and just suck up all the oxygen and take up all the air time and, you know what I mean? Like, and not leave a lot of space for anybody, I'm going to tell you, every time you tell me who you were, I am always sort of just like, I don't recognize the person that you talk about. Yeah. Like every time you talk about who you were, I was like, wow, what? what that must have been like? Because that's not you.

No, it's not. No, it's not. It's not me. And the great kind of Greek tragedy of it all is that it was never me. That it was always a... Something that you were put on front. Yeah, yeah, a thing, right? A persona.

Sure. A mask, you know, all these things. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, to learn and to mature and to partner with someone and to, like, recognize, you know, got to leave space. but include people. Yeah. Yeah.

So, like, it's interesting. And in playing Randall, right? Like, you're talking about somebody who has, I believe, nothing but good intentions. Oh, yes. Right? But in just sort of like his largesse, I don't know, joie de vie or whatever, whatnot.

Like, he just is big. Like, they talk about, you know, you get, you say something. about when he was a little boy looking up in the sky and just trying to find his place within the stars, right? Feeling small. Looking at the big dipper. Right. Wondering where he fit in. He's like, you're not going to have to worry about that with him because, so just in terms of like how I approach the character from the beginning has a lot to do with like a desire to be loved, a desire to be needed and wanted. Because if I am loved

and needed and wanted, then people will always want me around. because I begin with the story of, like, not being wanted to get rid of me or whatnot. So now there's things that I put on myself to be more, because if I am more, then maybe I will always be needed. And be enough. And be enough, right? And so I think a lot of it is born that a lotness that is, Randall, is born out of that idea of, like, I need to be a lot because people need a lot. Right. right if i'm not a lot then maybe they don't need me in the same sort of way right but it doesn't

leave space yeah anyone else yeah including your partner who feels sometimes like not neglected but just like not considered in the same way and it never comes from a place of i don't think randalls even like aware of it because you said like i think you the characters you approach it with like with the best of intentions, you just, you want to be this person and live this big life and you have all of these grand plans, but sometimes it's not considered like, what does your partner want? What do your kids want? Like, do you know what I'll say, well, okay, yes, but that's what this fight that they constantly have. Yes, yes, yes. At every juncture of their life together, it always comes back to the same fight. They've just having it for years, yeah.

Right. Since the beginning, she says. And it's the first fight you guys have at the restaurant. And it's like it is her deepest concern. Like, I don't want to lose myself. I don't want to be with a partner who doesn't let me be me. Sure. And look where we find ourselves in the present day.

Yes. So we'll come back to it more directly in the nachos. Because I think the nachos sort of is like the culmination of that thing. We should have not a fight itself. That does not go. That's fine. So she has a conversation with Rebecca. and I think Rebecca sort of assuages her fears of being consumed

because I think, I'm not exactly sure what she's saying. What are you saying with that whole star? Gosh, I think maybe to sort of exactly what you were saying, in my mind, it's hard because I watched this a couple weeks ago, to be told. I think it's sort of like that is where his big personality emanates from. Like, this is a human who's constantly looking for his place in the world. And I'm glad that he fell in love with someone like you who doesn't want to be a wallflower.

Like, I think you guys are a really good match in that sense. Yeah. But I think she's trying to not persuade Beth, but just really instill in her. Like, I don't think you have to be worried about Randall, like not letting you forget about who you are. Right. That's just not who he is. Right. He's going to celebrate you.

He's going to be there in real partnership. Right. I believe. I think so, too. I think so, too. I think she's just sort of being his biggest advocate. Because she says both things. She says, like, I know my son's passions tend to overwhelm, but you don't have to worry, right?

Because it is starts. Yeah. I found the quote here about you wondering where you fit in the universe. Yeah. And then when he met Beth, he no longer had that worry. That's right. Yeah, he felt like he had found his home. like a place where he fed.

Yeah, that's beautiful. So then we get to, Beth says, we are to go somewhere and she said, forget about your mom. He said, that's her words, not mine. They go, they get some nachos, they get some ginger beer. Randall's still trying to make odds or ends

of what's happening, what have you. And then Beth tells him, she's like, okay, now. And she points to her finger, you know, with the ring. She's like, yeah, I know you probably don't have the ring within. My man pulls out the box.

And she's like, what? And I was like, what? My man just keeps it with him. Well, he said, he's like, our front door doesn't lock well or something. I'm not going to keep my ring in there. I'm going to tell you guys something because over this next sort of thing from this proposal to the reenactment of this marriage to the like the whole vows thing, which is just so good. I think I'm married to two women.

You think it's real? It's binding. You're married to Ryan and Sue. Listen. Unless you're with the state of California, do not listen. Listen, this is the guy who was the extra, who was the officiant, who was an actual minister. Stop it. He was an actual minister.

When I proposed, and this is what really did for me, because Sue tends to keep things a little closer to the vest, right? Sure. Where Sue slash Beth is sort of like this, and Randall slash Sterling is like, blah, la, la. like I saw Sue's tears like even from the proposal to the saying of the vows to everything and I was like yeah she felt that she felt that shit and she felt this shit y'all know bro

yeah that's yeah yeah and I told I came home from work and I said rye they hate to break it to you I said I love you and I think I just married Sue. Hope that's okay. She's outside. She has some luggage. She has a sleeping bag.

She's moving in. A sleeping bag. She's here for a sleepover. An air mattress at least. Come on. An air mattress. An air mattress at least. She brought her stuffy in her sleeping bag.

It was such a, like, people ask these questions about, like, you know, how do you guys do that? Like, how do you, like, you know, pretend to be married to somebody and how do you kiss somebody and how do you all this stuff? And I don't know how you got works for you. I'm curious to hear, but, like, I think there's a part of you that just has to love them. Yeah. You know, like it's just that. I think for it to be palpable, I think for people to really buy in and believe it, like, you have to feel it. Yeah.

I don't think you have to be like, I'm in love with this person. Clearly that happens. Right. Yeah. Clearly that happens. I think it's where reality and art, people get a little confused, perhaps sometimes. That's why those relationships don't end up working out in the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I think if you can find the proper boundaries of like, to me, I have found when you can go, oh, I can see how to love this person. Right. I could see why someone would love this person. Yeah. What a great. You know what I mean? Don't get wrong.

I don't love you. I don't. see how someone could. I could see how it's plausible. Well, I just meant the boundary of like, like, of not allowing yourself to be like, but do I love this person? No, but I'm seeing like, I can see why Rebecca loves Jack. Absolutely. It's undeniable. Yes. So therefore, for, with Mandy and Milo, like, it's an easy way to buy into that. Absolutely. And I think when that's missing, yeah. It happens often. Yeah. I would say most of the time. Sure. Yeah. You have to work a little harder to make it work, ish.

Yeah. So anyway. It was a joy to not have to make it work. Yeah. It just worked. When it's there. You know what I mean? I wonder how many successful creative endeavors have involved people who can't do that.

You know what I mean? Like, I wonder if there's been seven seasons of a TV show where the people hated each other. Where the two just really didn't like it. Like, you know what I mean? I mean, you've heard, you've heard, you've heard, I've heard tale. I've heard tale of, of, of certain relationships. What's the most notorious one? Moonlighting, right? Yeah, they hated each other. But how long did that go on is what I mean? Like four seasons, five seasons? Like, oh, a while. And they were longer seasons back in the day, bro. They were like 24.

Yeah. Tough. Some fly by night. Right. Right. Right. More, that was us, after this short break. Summer always feels like a juggling act. Family trips, kids, camps, neighborhood barbecues, even just trying to get everyone out the door on time. Yes.

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for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com, code T-W-U at checkout. Bombas.com and use code T-W-U. Okay, wait, let me finish with this show, because we'll get to the fight. But there's the proposal with the nachos. It's beautiful on one knee. I also love it when Sue comes and sits on my knee.

It makes me very sweet. It's just a loving sort of thing, right? Also, can we say shout out to Chuck, one of our prop masters in the scene? You got a shout out, Chuck. Yeah, I was like, Chuck. Chuck's the cashier, the brother with the locks, in the back there, our prop master for five seasons of the show,

absolutely wonderful, right? So there we go to the vows, right? Is that what's next? Is the vows? Is Beth sort of like freaking out because she hasn't finished her vows? She's been planning the wedding, et cetera. And Kate comes in

and she's trying to help her come up with some rhymes because evidently she wants her vows to be a rhyme. Although Sue loves a little bit of hip-hop. Sue loves a good cipher. So maybe she was going to do something like that. She would have got the Wu-Tang references. She would have got the Wu-Tang. Cream, absolutely.

Cream gets the money. She wants Kate to stall, whereas Kevin is helping Randall make some cuts to his, like, you guys. Cut it. Ridiculously long dissertation on marriage. I love my brother so much. That scene just cracks me the blank up. Like, my man had pages.

Yeah. Randall had pages. He said 12-point single-spaced. Yeah. Yeah. And through the entire scene, you can see Justin actively hating his fake goatee. Actively. Like, actively, like for the audience.

Yeah, like, can you get this off my face immediately? I wrote Kevin and Goatee. Hates it. He, you guys, he hated that goatie so much. Like, as soon as they put it on him, he's like, why are we doing this? Also, any time I think about that, I'm like, you, sir, you just show up. And you breeze through hair and makeup, and you could come five minutes before they say action.

Yeah, Justin, like, Mr. Rogers, his way onto set. He goes into his trailer, takes off his amazing jeans and leather jacket, puts on a different pair of jeans and a leather jacket. And walks on to set. And basically just, yeah, like, rolls on his set. You know, to his credit, like, he kind of insisted on he's like, I'm just going to wear the stuff that I like, right? Yeah.

Because there's times when Randall has on. on these sweater thing of a jiggas with the collars that come up and there have to be times where Sterling just be like I just wanted to take it up but I was like

he was right for the character so what can I do? Yeah but I love Justin's like why don't you just tell them that you want to wear what you want to wear I'm like because we're not all Kevin okay we're not all movies sir

we're also not all Justin yeah there were several times there were several times over the shooting of the thing where Justin was like on a private plane to like the Kentucky Derby or something yeah and he looked at me like

you're not doing it? You're not doing it? You weren't invited? And I'm like, no. No. We're not all Justin Hartley. How about you invite me on your private plane to the Kentucky Derby? Yeah.

But the saying is so funny because Randall just wrote a dissertation about marriage or whatnot. He's like, nope, cut it. Cut it. Cut it. Cut it. Cut it too. And Prince's purple. Right.

No, you're right. He's like, I haven't written anything about my wife. So then they realize that they haven't written anything about each other. Beth comes into the bathroom and Randall was obsessed about not looking at her so he plays the scene with his eyes closed for the whole thing until he turns it back to her.

Also, real shout out, I don't even know if this was written, but Chrissy's saying that last little thing to Justin about his goatee. I don't know if it was written or not. I don't think it was written. It was so good. It feels like somebody

like call, like it also doesn't feel like Chrissy. Yeah. But somebody told Chrissy like, hey, at the end of this, just look at Justin and be like, hey, you got a little something right here. Like, somebody, somebody fed her that because she would not be, that's not, she would not be so, I don't know what the word is,

she wouldn't bust his balls that way, but like, perfect, perfect moment. Perfect sibling moment. So we're in the bathroom, we're not looking at each other because I don't want bad luck or whatnot, and they start to say, like, listen, well, why don't we, we haven't got our vows together, why don't we just do them together, right? You know, we're better together. That's why we're doing this whole thing in the first place.

And so they go back to back, and they start sort of talking out their vows and coming up with them together. And then we montage back and forth between the bathroom and the actual vows. I'm telling you, I mean, I already said it. I married to two women. And, you know, it used to be that way in the Old Testament. And at some point, it changed. But I brought it back. Until now.

Until now. Sue me, do what you have to do. I'm married to two women. I mean, like, watching it. I watched the wedding, and I'm like, oh, man, like, it's weird. How often do you guys cry at yourselves? Like, does that happen every once in a while for you? Am I the only person?

With the show? Yes, with the show. Yes. I was moved. I was moved. Yeah, we're all moved. I get a little sort of weirded out and I was like, why am I crying at my own fake wedding? Because it's like.

Like, it's, I don't know, we're all so invested. Yeah. And we cry for different reasons. It's like, you know what I mean? Like, there's so much that's rolled into all of this that like echoes parts of our life. I mean, it's why people connect with the show. It's like, I don't think we're immune to feeling these feelings. Amen.

I'm experiencing it as a fan. We're experiencing as fans. Fast forward. We're parents, right? First time parents. First time parents. Baby tests. Everybody knows what it's like to wake up in the middle of the night.

Like, who's going to change this diaper? who's going to do this thing. There's delirium that's like through everybody. Easy for fights to happen. You know, usually not enough energy for him to go full blown, but there's like enough energy to be like, oh, you make me so... Yeah.

But it's like, let me just get up and do this thing, one of the things Rachel used to do to me in those moments, in that exact moment, was she would whisper to me in the volume of the white noise machine at the frequency of the white noise machine. So the white noise machine would be a shh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h. And I'm like, what? What? Until finally in the middle of it. I'm like, what? Just say it. The baby's awake now.

Oh, man, that's good. That's good. Yeah, it is an edgy time, that's for sure. It's an edgy time. Sleep deprivation is not for the faint of heart. We try, you know, I thought, I thought they actually dealt with it with quite, you know, lovingly. Like, look, just let me do it. with nachos. It ended with nachos. Because it's the thing, like, listen, you asked me to do it. Please don't micromanage me. Just let me do it. I know how to change your diapers. She's like, well, did you do this? Did you do that? Like, woman, please, can I do it? Right. So then they realize they're both sort of hangary, tired, hungry, whatever. You want some nachos? He gets up and makes some naches. You guys eat poverty nachos growing up? What's that? Oh, yeah.

It's chips with microwave chips with cheese on top. Yeah. That's what I heard of call. It's a plate of chips with melted cheese on time. It was usually velvita in our house. Because it's spread back. Oh, yeah. I definitely made that. Still put Velvita in the mac and cheese for Thanksgiving. It just spreads different. I mean, I like some crunchy, like cheese.

I like the real melted cheese on top of my. There's seven kinds of cheese. Oh, okay, got it, got it. Belvita's just one. Just one of them. Got it. Just to get the little goo. But, like, you got the crunch on top.

Yeah, it's called constipation castle. We will do that. But I will, we will stop the crunch at breadcrumbs. Sure. Yeah, no, no, no. I don't need that. No, no. I mean, I want the crunch of the cheese being.

If you ever see, have a black person at Thanksgiving at your home, if they see breadcrumbs on the mac and cheese, they will politely decline. Politely. Will they scrape them off and go for the underlayer? No, they just won't touch them. What if there's velvita on the underlayer? Then they're missing out on something possible. Okay, okay, okay.

But more than likely you'll see someone take a very demure meaning and be like, oh, thank you. I'm fine, thank you. They take it and just keep passing. Yeah, that's how we're. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Worst case scenario.

It's the birth of worst case scenario. Yes. Right? Like, what's the worst thing that could happen to your daughter? Beth mentions that, like, her not having rhythm, which is a real thing for us. If our children don't have rhythm. Sure, sure. That'd be tough. Right?

And then Randall says, like, I don't want my daughter on the pole because if T. Payne makes a song about her, then I think we've lost. Yeah. T. Payne makes a lot of songs about the club. Yeah. The strip club. Yeah. Yes. And then the real one, what was the real one that Beth ended it on?

Was it? She forgets about mom. that's what I have. That's what it was. Yeah, going back to work and then all of a sudden she just doesn't remember who I am. And so this is, this is a thing that I think is very specific to moms and heteronormative relationship, et cetera, is indeed this idea of being consumed. It's not just by the husband, it's but the identity that I once was was I was this person. And now I'm now I'm seen primarily as a wife. I'm seen primarily as a mother, not as a me.

You know what I'm saying? Do you ever feel that? I do. You ever feel that? You ever feel that. But you're Mandy Moore. You are Amanda Lee Moore. Like you are a megastar.

Sterling. You are ridiculous. Thank you. But also, what? I am a human woman. Like, absolutely yes. And it doesn't. go away. You just sort of internalize it. You just learn to live with it. You learn to

cope. You learn how to manage it. I mean, it's, but yes, I feel that all the time. I feel that being here today. I'm like, oh, I didn't get to drop off Gus at school and I didn't, I'm not there to put Lou down for her first nap. And it's like you're constantly like my, my world revolves around them, and I have my own identity in this world. That I need to maintain. That I need to maintain in order to be a present parent, in order to be a better partner, all of those things. Also, to do your job.

Yeah, and I love my job. Like, to stay present and to stay creative. It all feeds each other, for sure. But, like, yes, there is absolutely a different burden on women. Yeah. You're also literally being consumed. Yeah. If you're breastfeeding.

Sure. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. We don't go through the same thing. No, but you do go through your version of it. Yeah?

I believe so, don't you? I mean, I definitely went through like an untethered, like the opposite of it. Like I was being disregarded by everyone. Ah, interesting. Like, yes, I understand. It was unneeded. Like, it's the photo negative of being the mother and child are all consumed in each other. and I'm an employee.

You're an afterthought, yeah. Who helps do the laundry. There's good serotonin getting shared over here between these two people and you's like, well, that looks nice. But also there is a morning too, like Taylor went through, like, wow, my life is never going to be what it was before.

And, like, that's, he's like, I love my kids more than life itself. And it's, I'll never be able to just, like, sit down with a guitar, read my book all day, like write a song whenever I want like there's just life has to be scheduled in these little time periods now between taking a kid to school and someone taking a nap and all of that it's like life just at this particular chapter just looks differently and I think there's a lot to grapple with for both parents yeah it's that bright sadness again like taylor brought the boys to the beach to the beach for um bear's birthday party and and we saw each other for 30 seconds I know No. You know what I mean?

And he was so excited. He's like, I'm going to go see Sally. I can't wait. And it's like, you're really going to have a conversation? You're going to be chasing two kids going different directions on the beach. I chased mine that way. I chased mine that way. And we were both more than happy to, but also like, remember friends? Yeah, totally. You're going to have to do a breakfast burrito when kids are in school again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So these nachos, right? There's an analogy that Beth wants to make. Because Randall's just, he makes the nachos. They're sitting there. They're having a good time to do worst-case scenario. And then she's sort of watching him eat the nachos.

And she sort of comes up with this analogy, what night. There's three kinds of nachos, right? There are like partial, I can't remember. Crumbs. There's crumbs, right? They don't have anything on them or whatnot. Then there's like something else. There's two.

And then there's the full nacho that has like all the cheese and all the toppings, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And some people are like full nacho kind of people, right? And Randall is like, you're great. Anytime I want nachos, you make the nachos. but you also just eat the full nacho, right? And then she shows the bowl of just crumbs. And he's just smacking away. And he's like, whoa, are you saying I don't, like, I take up?

You're saying I leave you with the crumbs? I leave you with the crumbs? And she's like, no, never mind. And this is the interesting thing because this is where they're both right. She says in the argument, when we come back to the present, she's like, we made a promise that neither one of us were going to consume each other. We weren't going to be consumed. And I broke that promise.

Like, I allowed myself, I let myself be care. I let you consume me and you let it happen to. Yeah, right? Like, you didn't do anything to stop. And I think that's the interesting thing where it's, there's both right, because Randall didn't do anything on purpose, right? But the concessions that are made within the relationship, and my wife will say this too in a heartbeat.

Like, I told Ryan Michelle straight up, I was like, if you let me have these kids, man, I'll stay at home and take care of them. All I want is to stay at home and take care of these kids. Then life happens, right? And more opportunities started to come my way than her way. And then you ask yourself, what am I supposed to, am I not supposed to, I have to make money. Yeah, I have to provide for the family. I have to do something to do this thing, right?

And then she'll say, but you said you were going to watch these children. I was like, I know. I know I said that. And, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Things changed. Yeah. It was a really interesting mirroring in that situation because it's like, I didn't, he wasn't

trying to dupe anybody. He wasn't trying to do it. And so what his argument is like, listen, if at any point in time you said you were uncomfortable with something, this is what he says, even though you pointed out, he doubled up a couple times. He doubled back a couple of times. A little coitus interruptus, right? He's like, pull, yeah.

Yep. You guys get what I'm saying. sound of it. Yeah. That's what it sounds like. Yeah. Stop making that sound. Stop making that sound. Stop it. Anyway. But, but, but like, it's not an intentional thing. And I think he means when he says it, even though we've seen in the evidence, she said, look, you said you weren't going to run. So now I need you to stop out of it. And then he went too far. So he's, hands down. He's wrong. He's, he's more wrong than wrong.

right. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And not purposefully so. Sure. Yeah. But at a certain That's what makes it so hard. At a certain point, it's like, we have these conversations like intent versus outcome. Sure. Right? Right? Like, you still have to take ownership of the outcome. Yeah. Of what transpired. Yeah. Because I think that's what Beth is actually doing. She's taking ownership of the fact that like, I've allowed this up till now. And now I'm breaking that And now I'm saying no, right? Because our relationship doesn't work unless I'm the person that goes along with something, right? Yeah, sure.

And so in the midst of the argument or whatnot, he says, like, listen, you're not some shrinking Lily that I've been walking all over this whole time or whatnot. Like if you wanted to stand up, you could have stood up and she's like, during which one of your panic attacks, during which one of your anxiety attacks could I have done that? And then it goes quiet. And then she apologizes. And then he says, well, you know what? I don't have any more speeches.

She goes, where are you going? So I'm going to Philadelphia. And congratulations, I don't have any more speeches, right? So it ends dark at a dark note. And I remember, it was either in this episode or one before, they wanted me, the writers wanted me to sort of like interject a little levity where Randall sort of tries to break the tension with a joke or whatnot. I was like, guys, I don't think this is the joke time.

Like, I know what he typically does, but, like, this is a place in their marriage where they've never really been before. Nobody's really laughing about anything. Like, to me to do that would be to undermine where they actually are in this relationship. Yeah, and what you've built to get to this point. Yeah. So he goes to Philadelphia, and there's this great montage that you see Randall in Philadelphia by himself. And then you see young Randall lying in bed with the promise and hope of what is to come in the future. and you see young Beth looking at the check that says, like, first date with Beth, with Beth Clark, right?

And then you see my wife, Susan Colacci Watson playing Beth Pearson, laying on the ottoman, on the chaise, if you will, next to the bed, because she can't even bring herself to be in the bed by herself. Without him, yeah. Okay. We have a special guest. We are going to be speaking to Rachel Hilsen, who plays younger Beth, the sort of teenage version, I guess. And Beth, she is absolutely phenomenal. Wonderful. We had the pleasure working with her, I believe from this season moving forward for the entirety of the show, because we flashback a lot to this time period.

And she's just, she's such an excellent, like, totally pro actress. I'm interested to chat with her. I'm sure she will be incredibly gracious. But I think because sweet Niles was younger than her, there was this interesting dynamic between the two of us. But he definitely had like this little like puppy dog eyes around her. And she was so lovely. Because she's, I think she's a little older than the game.

Yeah, I mean, she looks like she's the part for sure. But like, but yeah. So I think that was like an interesting dynamic that I always clocked. So we're going to take a break. We'll be right back with more. That was us. and with Rachel Hilsen. Ladies and gentlemen, is now time for our favorite segment, our fan segment.

As we revisit Beth's backstory in the rewatch, we thought this would be the perfect time to chat with Beth herself. Younger, Beth, that is, played by the uber-talented Rachel Hilton. She brought to life Beth's early years with warmth, wit, and authenticity, giving us a deeper look at what shaped the character we know today. But we are also curious about Rachel herself and her journey to This Is Us and Beyond. So without further ado, let's bring your on.

Hi, Rachel. Rachel. So great to see you guys. I feel so honored to be doing this with you cool people. Honor is ours. Please. It was so good to get to this part of the story. So what was interesting, before, like I think she joined.

We joined us, Rachel played my wife's daughter. Oh. Which wife? We talked earlier on an episode that he has two wives. I do have two wives. My real wife, Ryan Michelle Bathay, recognized by the law, in First Wives Club, right? Oh, wow.

Got it. She absolutely did. And then she came. Was that the timeline? Was it first wives before this is us? Yes. Yeah, it was right before. I think it was maybe the same year.

I think you're right. Yeah, stacking them up. Yeah. Yeah, I know. Such a funny world we're in. It's just so small. And clearly this was meant to be. So, yeah, that was a really, that was a pleasure.

That's awesome. You've gone on since to do, like, many, like, outstanding things. I think the last thing that I know of is Duster. You did love Simon, did you not? Love Victor. I did love Victor. Yes. You did love Victor as well.

And then saw you in Winning Time. Like, you just been bawling, like... Booked and busy, as they say. Well, I got Love Victor through Isaac and Elizabeth because it was also their show. And so, you know, even more reason why I'm so grateful for this show, because it's led me to all of these other amazing projects and relationships. You came from New York, and if I recall correctly, you didn't have a car and you were riding your bike?

Yes. No one rides their bike in L.A., Rachel. I know. It's dangerous. And it was super just kind of dangerous. I don't know. Yeah, I was, yeah, I've been living in New York for six years. I decided to make the move to L.A.

I had a license. The thing is I had a license. Okay. I got it for a job when I was like 21. And then I never used it aside from outside of, that job and um and so i had it but i moved to l.A and i was like yeah i'm not going to a car what i'm going to get a little cruiser that's right and um i lived not too far from paramount and so i would just bike like the mile to paramount um where both love victor and this is us

for shooting and so i was like this is perfect who needs a car pandemic kit oh i need a car So I can, like, just, just, just, you know, leave. Talk to us a little bit about where you were when this is us first came into your life, what the audition process was, yada, yada, yada. Yeah, I had just graduated from college, maybe the year before. Oh, wow. And I think that year right after college was a little bit like, oh, what am I doing? What am I going to do?

am I going to work? Am I ever going to get a job? And I had just done this little project in Oregon, and I was visiting actually those people in L.A., because a lot of them were from L.A. And the audition happened to come around while I was in L.A., which was incredible timing. And so, yeah, I went in.

I think I had like both the initial audition and callback, maybe in the same week. Oh, wow. I met, yeah, I had a chemistry read with Niles. Yeah, I remember being asked about my dance background. Okay. Which was funny, because I wasn't actually sure where that was going to fit into the story yet. But yeah, I think that was like 2018, and I was however old I was then, which I'm, I'm, I'm, Oh, never mind.

I'm almost, so I'm graduating from it. I'm graduating. And I think there's still like some like, oh, do I say that? I feel like that's a very old industry. Like, do I say my age? I don't know. Most women don't tend to share their age. You don't have to do anything.

Yes. Right. I have a question for you. Did you watch the show? Like, did you, when you were going in for the audition process, did you sort of like clock the way that Susan played Beth? And, like, I'm just curious because, like, with Niles and Hannah and Logan, they came on the show, gosh, in, like, the seventh episode. So there was no real point of reference for anybody to look at, you know, you or Justin or Chrissy or anything.

But 2018, like, the show had been on for a couple of seasons. So I'm just curious, like, what your relationship was with all of that. I had not been watching it prior to the audition. That's okay. There's no shame. There's no shame. Sully's piss, but. I was a distant fan.

I just, you know, everybody, it's like, oh, that show. I'm a distant fan. I love it. I was like, oh, I don't know right now. Listen, we're busy people. We're busy. Yeah, yeah. You're stuff to do.

But then I, I binged it, and I was like, oh, gosh, what have I been missing? I've clearly been missing out. And, yeah, I was watching, you know, initially for Susan, and then I began to enjoy it. But, yes, I think I was lucky in that. way to have this sort of roadmap essentially of like this character. You know, I was definitely given some creative liberties because, you know, this is her, this is, this is her journey to how she got to this adult version of Beth. But, but yeah, I wanted to get, you know, the essence, right. I wanted to get, you know, certain things that don't necessarily, that don't really change.

over the course of time, you know, we all have our ways of speaking and our ways of moving that I think aren't that easy to break. And so I wanted to make sure that I got those as best as I could. Well, mission accomplished. Yeah, it was, dude. So seamless. I mean, we can go back to our little island girl. Like, the work that you put in is extraordinary.

Truly. Just like that relationship. You got to speak to it a little bit. but playing with Felicia Rashad in those scenes or whatnot, like what do you recall most from that experience? What a legend. What an honor. I remember when I found out that I was, that Felicia was going to play my mom,

I think I immediately called my mom just to sort of freak out and fan girl with her, because, you know, she is, she is the mom. Yeah, America's mom. Yeah, America's mom. And so I was definitely intimidated the first, you know, the first time I was on set with her. But she's got such an ease. It's kind of like such a gentleness.

I mean, it's, it's, she's commanding. She's so commanding. She's such a big presence. but it's, you know, she's just got this way of, you know, making you feel like your, I think, meant to be there, you know, meant to be in the room. Yeah, she, I remember talking about her cats a lot. I can't remember their name, sorry, that's random.

I remember talking about her cats. I remember talking about theater. quite a bit. She asked me if I did theater because she is, you know, that's where she began. And I hadn't done any professional theater at that time. So I was definitely feeling like, yes, I did a lot of theater in college. But yeah, she's just a lovely human. I, yeah, I don't know. I was just honored to be in the same room. Did you, you said you were nervous. How long did it take to get over nerves? Because in your performance. I'm always sort of like moved by the level of maturity and ease and what I consider

to be comfort of your performance. So I'm curious if the nerves were there, how long are the nerves there until you're like, all right, now let me just do my job? Yeah. Well, with that first episode, I think I felt a lot of trust from our director. We had a really great rapport. it felt like we understood each other. She also was a dancer. And so I think there is this level of just, you know, connectedness. And I think she gave me a lot of freedom with my performance. And so I think that made me feel at ease.

I think when, like, a director trusts you, you feel just, you know, automatically more confident. So I guess that helped. And then, you know, it's the thing of like you put it into your performance because I think there were some, there were a lot of moments in that first episode, especially where Beth is, you know, not super sure of herself and dealing with the teenagery things of, you know, trying to figure out who she is and where she belongs. And especially in this episode where she's literally trying to.

to figure out how to how to make it in dance and also how to deal with this this big personal tragedy as well or this other you know familial tragedy as well and I think like it's the thing of putting I don't know putting those those feelings of unsureness into the performance yeah and I mean it's such a great set I'm sure you guys talk about that all the time But the crew is just so, um, so kind and so generous. Yeah. And so I think that helps a lot to, you know, not to get over the, the initial fear of, like, people watching you. Yeah, it makes the job, the job a lot easier.

If, if Beth, if Beth ever was unsure of herself, it, it lasted all of, uh, 30 seconds. Totally. Because in the episode, in the episode that we, that, that we are talking about right now, like, you show up, so self-realized in a way because that makes you realize how self-realized Beth has always been

like it's fascinating we're talking about how you get to watch Randall and Beth the history of them in this one episode and then in my head I'm replaying every moment I've seen of them together and it all starts to make even more sense

and it all starts to become more clear yeah through like a different lens because you have more information it's so kind of the alchemy of Rachel Hilsen showing up, you know, season three and four and redefining an already incredible performance by Susan Kalechi Watson and giving it a brand new shape is just magic. But it's a real feat. It's magic, yeah.

And I have to say, it's like there's something about you that, like, the very moment that you showed up on our set, it was like, wow, this person is fully realized. Like, there was such a quiet confidence that you brought as a huge. human and as a woman as a performer that I was always just sort of an awe of like you knew who you were you knew what your purpose was and maybe there was like some of Beth and like the character sort of infused in that but you just like you always showed up you were super professional you did your thing you were always reading I remember I was like I was just so sort of like really taken aback by like oh this like this young person knows who they are and like they're that you just you always showed up

and you were at like a 12 in the best possible way. I was like, oh, okay, cool, that's what we're doing. Like, we're all going to rise to this level and hopefully do this work together. But just, yeah, you were just always so spectacular. And I think when people talk about the show and talk about other actors playing these versions of, you know, the adult characters and stuff, like you are always mentioned without a doubt.

It's like you gave such a different, like Chris was saying, like a different color and shade that, like, we thought we knew because Susan's so extraordinary, and it was like, oh, wait, here's this other, like, flavor and texture to this character we knew so well that, like, is just making everything technicolor in a way that we weren't expecting. And, yeah, I just, like, I so enjoyed any time that you were on set and we all got to work together, it was like, yeah, Rachel's here. She knows what she's doing. We're all in good hands. Heck yeah. That's such a huge compliment, Mandy, because I'm just a huge – you guys are such inspirations to me, and so that means a lot.

I feel like, yeah, coming into the show, you know, it already has this level of prestige and your performances are all so solid. And I think, yeah, I wanted to honor Susan's performance. think in that way by just trying to bring my best because, yeah, honoring Beth, but I think, yes, like you said, Susan's work on the show is just so brilliant. So thank you. That means a lot to hear. Okay, so going to this one real quick and this whole first date thing that you and Randall have with each other, tell me what you remember about the scene because it's so good. And we were just talking about it and just the Cheshire Grinned smile that is plastered over Niles's face as he's just looking at you in complete and total adoration. And you're just taking it all in

being like, all right, bro, with your tie and your coat. I'm in my pretty. And your checkbook and everything else. Like, what exactly do you have in store for us? Like, what are your recollections of that scene? Yeah, well, I think that was the first time that I really worked with Niles because before, you know, the first episode we did it was just that brief run-in and we didn't get to spend a ton of time together. So this is the first time I really got to spend time with Niles, who is a character. Yes, he is. I love him. I loved him immediately. He had, he definitely had this like, you know, like, John and put on a little, like, something. I was saying earlier, Rachel, I was like, you know, like Niles was a baby when he joined the show. And so, like, you were,

definitely a sophisticated young woman and I think there was like just watching from the sidelines I was like there was always a little bit of like chest puffing a little bit like do you know what I mean that I was like oh this is a door

it was perfect it was perfect for the character but yeah it always it always tickled me a little bit yeah he's he's a sweetie and it's been so amazing just a side note to sidebar to watch him like rise

his star and do other things but yeah so I remember you know we we had our own sort of like report because it was probably the first time he had had a love interest and you know I think anytime there's like a love interest when you're young it's like

how do we connect but we want to make sure that we connect you know in a way that feels real but we were also like as these characters not fully in sync yet or at least Beth didn't think they were fully in sync yet so I think that worked in our favor But what do I remember about that scene? I remember, well, I remember Kay being there

and her walking us through some of the beats and some of the moments in that scene and just like what we needed to sort of hit. I remember just being in that restaurant for a really long time. And the waiter being so, so sweet. and he just was kind of apologetic about, like, this role he had to play, which was kind of funny.

But, yeah, Niles and I just sitting across from each other and just trying to, like, not laugh at times, you know, in between takes. Yeah, I mean, it was, I think what is interesting is, like, I do think Beth, when she gets to college, she does, you know, it's like after she's had to let go of dance, after she's had to let go of her dad, and she does sort of, like, pardon a little bit. Like I think like before we do get this more softness, this like this youthfulness, this like

head in the clouds and I can be this like teenager who's still figuring it out. And I think moving into college, while she's probably, she's still doing that, she is just a bit more hardened. And I think, you know, she just, she's not going to, she's not going to, she's not going to break. And immediately with young Randall, she's going to make him work for it. And I think because she's seen, she's had a beautiful example in her dad of like what a man is and what she would want from a man. And I think she like goes in with that and then he goes into all of his stuff. And it's, you know, it is a lot.

It's a lot. It's a lot. Thank you so much for coming to chat with us today. Oh, is that it? Okay, great. Like, oh, okay. It's easy for having me. It's easy, breezy here.

We will say this, though, like, because you've been prolific. You've been on a tear. You've been working. Is there anything else that we should be looking out for you on anytime soon? Is there you want to share your social so people know where to keep up with you, R-H, like, holler at your people. Tell them what you up to. Yes, I am Rachel on a cloudy day on Instagram.

Yes, you are. I am, yeah, I have a movie coming out, I don't know, soon, end of year, maybe top of next year, with Regina Hall and Will Ferrell called Judgment Day, which I'm just talking about. Okay. I finished that a couple months ago. It's a comedy, obviously. And, yeah, I'm just kicking it. You know, watch Duster.

We are not renewed, but it is still something I'm so, so proud of. And I think it stands on its own as a limited series. So please check that out on HBO Max. Congratulations on everything. And it's so good to see you and connect. And thank you for joining. us and giving people just like slightly more behind the scenes insight into you and Beth and everything that you brought to the table. Thank you guys. I really appreciate it. Thank you so much.

You rock, sister. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for joining us. Have a good day. Congrats to you on all of your things. Thanks. Thanks. New shows and all of it. So thank you. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Gang, what a lovely conversation with Rachel Hilsen. She's just so fantastic. Polished, man. Polished. That is the perfect word. I think, like, what I realize in just watching her, like both her and Sue have this quality of just sort of like taking everything in,

this sort of attentive listening or whatnot. This sort of gives them a wisdom. You feel like that is beyond their years? Yes. That they share in common. It's not just the physical. It's like a soul sort of thing. You trust them.

Yeah, yeah. She also said something which made me, She said, like, when she, when Beth met Randall, there was a certain hardening, like a loss of innocence. She had given up dance. She had lost her father or whatnot. And I think probably more than anything also in their dynamic that exists is Randall helps to soften. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

Yep. And I think they, like, they needed each other. They met each other at just the right time, you know. And then they have this wonderful relationship that has its crests and its troughs, and we're left to one. wonder, like, are they going to make it? Yeah. Are they going to make it? And that's where we'll leave things off for now, gang.

Stay tuned for the next episode. See you. Yeah. Next week. Yeah. On. That was Us. That Was Us is filmed at Rabbit Grin Studios and produced by Rabbit Grin Productions.

Music by Taylor Goldsmith and Griffin Goldsmith. Da-da-da-da-da-dum. da-da-dum that was us