That Was Us - The Big Three Hit Puberty | "Changes" (503)

Episode Date: February 17, 2026

On today’s episode of That Was Us, we’re diving into Season 5, Episode 3: Changes. The Pearson family is pushed in new emotional directions: Randall navigates big shifts with Tess; Kevin and Madison confront some hard truths; and Kate and Toby take a meaningful step toward adoption. Meanwhile, new characters reveal there’s more to Laurel’s story. Plus, Mandy, Chris, and Sterling give their hot takes on the TV show "Lost," changes on the set of This Is Us post Covid, how they prepare for intimate scenes, and so much more! That Was Us is produced by Rabbit Grin Productions. Music by Taylor Goldsmith and Griffin Goldsmith. ------------------------- Support Our Sponsors: - This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/TWU and get on your way to being your best self. - Head to Walmart today to try a bar or stock up on 4 cartons of your favorite flavors, like Blueberry Pie and Salted Peanut Butter, sold exclusively at Walmart. Check out https://Walmart.com to find a store near you! - With Shipt, no order is ordinary.Try Shipt free for 14 Days - Download the app for visit https://Shipt.com Terms apply. ------------------------- 🍋 About the Show: The stars of This Is Us, Mandy Moore, Sterling K. Brown, and Chris Sullivan, dive back into the world of the Pearsons, reliving each episode and all the life lessons that came with it. Together, they dig in and dig deep, have the tough conversations, bring in very special and familiar guests, share never-before-heard behind-the-scenes moments, and feature listeners in highly anticipated fan segments. Join your favorite family back in the living room to examine our past, cherish our present, and look to the future with new episodes of That Was Us every Tuesday. ------------------------- 00:00:00 Intro 00:00:32 Discussion 01:09:58 Fan Segment 01:23:48 Outro Executive Producers: Natalie Holysz and Rob Holysz Creative Producer: Sam Skelton Production Coordinator: Andrew Rowley Video Editor: Todd Hughlett Mix & Master: Jason Richards Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode of That Was Us, we are diving into Season 5, Episode 3, Changes. The Pearson family is pushed in new emotional directions. Randall navigates big shifts with Tess, Kevin and Madison confront some hard truths, and Kate and Toby take a meaningful step towards adoption. Meanwhile, new characters reveal there's more to Laurel's story. What up, y'all? Hello, friends. What up?

Chit-Chin. A lot of changes. A lot of things that, like, a lot of things that, like, I didn't remember until I saw it. Uh-huh. You know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah. Like, the opening of the episode, I was like, oh, wow. I love it when he does.

Like, sometimes I just saw Dan the other day and grabbing a drink or whatnot, and he was giving me a paradise pitch. He loves a pitch. He loves to corner you. He's really good at it. I mean, he is the ultimate pitcher, but he does love to corner. He would, would he do this for you guys, like, during the course of the show? Like you'd see him at an event or something, he'd be like, oh, wait. Here's the thing.

Exactly. Yeah, yeah. He'd come up to you and he's like, so check this out. What do you think? How do you think Ronald feels about being gay? And I'll be like, huh? Yeah, you're like, wait. What's the context?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, trust me, it's going to work out. It's going to be great. I'm like, okay. Yeah, yeah. But he does any, he's right. He's excellent at it. But I could just imagine, like, what the writer's room was with these particular ideas of like,

wow, this is a big swing. But here we go. He has a way of like, what is it? Like he throws people that we've never seen at all whatsoever. But now the audience has been schooled. So now the audience is just waiting. Right? Because we've done it enough times.

You're like, all right, who is this Asian man and his granddaughter? Fishing. Because the episode opens on a grandfather and granddaughter fishing. They're going fishing. And immediately you're like, Are we back in Vietnam? Like, where, what? Like, where, how is this related?

Yeah, we don't know anything. And then he just drops it. And then he goes to the titles, and then he goes into the show. You're like, all right. And you forget about it. Until it comes back around again. Until it comes back around. We're like, who are these people?

Yeah. How are they related? How are they related to the Pearson? Yeah. Yeah. It's good. So changes. Everybody's going through a lot of stuff.

Which one do we? Do you want to just finish this sort of fishing situation? or no, you want to go to Jack and Rebecca, a pediatrician with the teens? I want to do the fishing, but then I like the reveal last. Okay, okay, okay. So we could go to Jack and Rebecca at the pediatrician. Cool, cool, cool.

With the teenagers. All three of them are going through puberty at the same time, which is like walloping mom and dad. Could you imagine? New doctor. You guys, I have a 14-year-old. I can't imagine having three. At the same time, going through all of those emotions.

Mickey-Ficky time? Mickey Ficky. Like, they're all synced. Like, you know, like, we all have cycles. Some may manifest in other ways, but, like, to have three kids going through it. Oh, Lord, her mercy. But also, this was the first episode that I really clocked. I was like, oh, everyone's voices are changing too.

I was about to say, like, it made me think I was like, how much longer do we have them? Because they really were. Yeah. To see Lonnie Parker and McKenzie. And McKenzie. It was not too much longer. Yeah, because I feel like they're about to get phased out for good. Because I don't think they're in season six.

Just the last episode. Just the last episode, right? In the last episode that we've recorded during season three. Right. Yep, yep, yep. Because, yeah. That's right. Yeah.

They look good. They look like, you know, Lottie's good. They're just like. So does. Parker. And then McKenzie's like, she's a giant. She's so tall. So tall.

That became one of the harder issues, too, is that she started to outpace the boys a little bit in terms of her height. I find that it's always been the case. You know what I mean? It's just sort of like she was so almost as tall as both of us that like it's ridiculous because Chrissy is so tiny. Yeah.

You know what I mean? You see me and Chrissy next to each other and like you can see how she's considerably shorter than me. So it like just never, it was always, they put poor McKenzie like seated in a lot of scenes because she just was so much taller. Yeah. Which you don't know when you cast an eight year old. You don't.

How tall they're going to be. You got to get Walt off the island, man. It's hard to figure it out. You have to get Walt off the island. We were just talking about Lost yesterday. Were you? Taylor and I were. Yes, and to speak to how well this is us introduces characters or storylines that you're like,

oh, wow, we're in season five. And like, here's this new twist that Laurel's still alive. Like, they didn't execute as well on Lost. You're like... Lost was the great creative design. Disappointments of my life. Great creative disappointments. Those first few seasons...

Incredible. Incredible. It's great. Great. Do you not agree? I don't disagree. And then the last season and a half, you're just like... I'm just like watching Damon Linda Love watch our podcast.

It's been like, am I catching strays for what the fuck? I'm sorry. This is a... First of all, he's not watching. First of all, he's not watching. Second of all, this is a universally held... I will say this. So for me.

The bed was lost. They did. Okay. They did not stick the landing. I would say seasons like five. Yeah. How many seasons were there? Six.

Yeah. Five and six were, you were just sort of like, you guys. Turns out it was heaven. It was so disappointing. But Sterling, I don't know, heaven. They're not catching strays. This is a universally held belief. Okay.

Across the board. Is it purgatory or have it? You decide. Like, God damn it. Yeah, that they were not Dan Fogelman about it the whole time. And like, I know how this is ending was such a bummer. I would say that Fogelman with regards to this show, and I say Paradise, I'm not sure how he feels about the land.

But like having an end point in mind helps you drive towards something. Has Fogelman pitched you the landing strip for Paradise? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he knows it. He knows it. He knows it. He knows it. He knows it. He knows. I think unless he knows the full picture. That's just, and things can get peppered in between and maybe extended or, you know, like, manipulated a little bit.

But I think the general shape of something, he knows from the beginning. So let me, let me do my little, my tiny Lindelof defense. Okay. Just in case he's watching. Just in case he's watching. Season four I thought was really cool because. it was the beginning of the flash forward. Okay.

Yes, agreed. You know what? I like the flash forward. As soon as we're done with our episodes, we'll do a lost. That's where we go from here. A lost recap. Yeah. We'll call it lost and lost.

Season two for me was the back half of the plane. So we introduced the plane cracked in half. We see there's survivors from the back half. And so we had all those new characters. We have Mr. Echo. Yep. I like Mr. Echo. I like Mr. Echo.

Yeah. I like me. But his end, his demise, come on. Wasn't perfect. But like one of the great... Wasn't perfect. One of the great introductions is my man, the Australian cat with the hair. Desmond?

Desmond may have wound up being one of my favorite characters. Sure. Sure. Of course. You're not hearing us. The reason it is so disappointing is because that is so great. I understand. Yeah.

It was genius the way it unfolded. to know that it wasn't well thought out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Was a total disappointment. And then at the end, they were like, I don't know. Enjoy. What is the science say above your head? Hot take!

But that's, I'm saying, this is not a hot take. Yeah. I can't wait for folks to weigh in on this because, okay, so I'll say this too. I cried like a baby at the finale. I did. I did too for different reasons. I can't believe this is how it ended. So many years of my life.

For this. Years. Yeah. This was before you could like binge it. You guys feel how I felt about GOT. Like this is... No, that's how I felt about GOT too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't feel any which way about it. Wait till you see it. Never gonna happen. I won't watch dragons. It's fine. You don't have it. No, I won't watch dragons. Well, season four, once they got past the books and it's like,

wait, who is this white guy with a beard dressed in leather? See, that's what happened up, is this a different white guy with a beard dressed in leather? the books. Yeah. We're still waiting on the books? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I think. So, like, in theory, that show could be wildly different, but also, like, why would he write to what the show became? Like, I'm confused. They kept saying winter was coming, and I'm like, are you sure? Winter did come. Because it's been coming for a long time. It finally came.

And that shit did slap. Yeah. Okay. I'm just saying that's it. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. It slapped two and a half seasons too late.

I understand. The teens are having study group. We'll get back on the show. The teens are teaning. The teens are teaning. They're doing a study group at home. Kate is inviting Stewart, who, like, used to be her boyfriend, that she broke up with. Stuart Apapha, Apopagambia.

What's his name? Abernathy, right? Yeah, yeah. Love Stewart. I mean, how did that pass muster of, like, I guess there aren't a ton of Stuart Abernamban. Nathis out there. Yeah. It cleared that name.

Anyway. He's coming over for study group. I wrote Kate wants bagel bites. That really brought me back to my childhood. Bagel bites were a thing. Bagel bites slapped, as you would say. Totinos? Yeah.

Didn't you have those at one of your football parties that you wanted to have when Kate came over? Did you have toastinos? I don't know. I just made that up. In the show? In the show. In the show.

That might have been the very first time we sat down to watch the game. That's what I'm talking about. Possibly. That's right. Because Stewart likes bagel bites. Stewart likes bagel bites. So Kate wants bagel bites at home. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I wrote Kate's friends crushing on Randall. Cute little girl. Yeah. Very sweet. It was very cool. And Randall was like so nonplussed. He's watching Mr. Belvedere. She said, we're doing something.

He's like, would you want to help us out? He's like, I did that in third grade. Yeah. I was like, okay. He could care less. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're building a diaper. A desert diorama.

That's right. What's Kev doing? Is Kev not involved in that all thing? Oh, he went to football practice. That's right. And then dad is taking him downstairs to work out. To work out. So this eighth grade, so this is a big thing too, because we're told growth plates and all that type of stuff,

like you're supposed to basically wait to about high school, till about 14 to start lifting heavy. Like you can do body weight stuff. So me and the kids would go out into the garage, like, you know, Like, they'd see me lifting weights. I said, you just do air squats. You just do air jumps, do pushups. Whatever you can do with your body is totally fine. Because you can get jacked and then, like, stunt your growth.

Oh, yeah. Talk to Rachel about it. Oh, yeah, because she's a gymnast. Rachel was jacked and tiny. Oh, my God. Yeah, she was, yeah. Her two younger siblings were taller than she was at one point. She's now the tallest.

So when she stopped, like, gymnastics and stuff, she grew. Yeah, she took gymnastics to the point where it was like, okay, now is the point age 10, 11, 12, where you either get shipped off to some... To Russia. Russian coach somewhere in Florida and some, like, live-in gym situation, or you stop doing gymnastics. And she chose the latter. Wow. And then she grew? She, like, had a growth spurt?

Yeah. Wow. Okay. Well, there you go. And her body pays the price. And they're not even... Sort of mine, too, from tennis. I mean...

Really? Yeah. They're not even lifting, though. Like, it's just such intense... Muscles. Yeah. They're not lifting. But it's like five, six hours a day of whatever the thing is, yeah.

But there's this thing. There's this beginning because he... Jack wants to start lifting with him. He's like, I promise you I'm not going to go super hard or whatnot. Yeah. But like the kids got to get his weight up. Coach says he's got real potential, et cetera. Yeah.

And you can see... Kev's just excited to spend time with his dad. He's finally getting the focus on him. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yep. Yeah. So, okay, finishing this off,

Kate is still working with Stewart or whatnot, and she's like, Stuart, you know, you don't have to make up a reason for wanting to be here. I know, he's like, what are you talking about? I, like, friggin love deserts. Yeah. He's got a weird thing for deserts. He's got a desert king.

He's got a desert king. He uses sand. He probably still uses sand today. Easy. Okay. Anyway, and so Kate talks to mom. She's like, I thought evil wanted to get back together, but it was really because he just really liked that.

He just loves a cacti. And mom gives, moms gave some advice. What was mom saying in this particular case? Well, she just talks about how following your heart is a real strength, and she's just proud of her. Like, there's nothing wrong with being open and being vulnerable like that. And don't let this particular situation dissuade you, essentially. Eventually, it's going to work out.

Exactly. Exactly. It's so sweet. As we have a seated McKinsey sitting next to her mother. And now you know why. Yeah, and turns over and just. Gives a little kiss on the cheek, which like, again, at this age, well, any age, I think, with Kate and Rebecca, it's just nice to see them get along. It's nice to see, like, the love, because the love, the love is always there, but I just think, like, they have such a complicated relationship.

Yes, man. Exactly. Anytime we're sort of cresting high on the wave, I'm happy for Rebecca. Yeah. More, that was us after this short break. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. February can be a lot. Everywhere you look, it feels like people have their love lives totally figured out, whether it's couples, dating stories, or big romantic gestures.

It can start to feel like you're behind somehow. The show illustrates that really well, watching how different family dynamics play out, and understanding that there's no right way to do it. Married, dating, single, or just focused on ourselves, nobody really has it all solved. That's the part I keep coming back to, man. No matter where you are in your romantic journey or even life journey, you're not too late.

You are right on time, and therapy can help you find your way through that. That's right. Sometimes you just need to work things through with a trained professional. Yes, it's nice to have friends and family that you can talk to. Other times, it's nice to have somebody who is maybe less emotionally involved in the issues that you want to discuss, who is maybe more logically involved, who can put it through more of a therapeutic filter. And therapy can help you take a step back and look at what feels heavy in your relationships.

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Something the show always captured so well was family travel, visiting parents, siblings, grandparents, everyone gathers at the cabin or Thanksgiving at Randalls, packing everyone into one place for a few days and letting life happen. As a kid, I didn't appreciate how much work went into those types of trips. You know, now as an adult, planning these trips, I feel like I need to create those moments, those memories for my family. Those trips with family are so meaningful, but they also mean your home is sitting empty while you're gone. Hosting your home on Airbnb can be a practical way to make that time work for you.

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Listen, if you're ready to host, but you need some help, find a co-host at Airbnb.com slash host. I think Randall's next, because Kevin's storyline is the one I think is most interesting in this episode. leading into the next episode as well. Yeah. Randall's a situation where, okay, what's old girl's name, cute, you know, girls trying to hang out with him? Her name is. Tanya. Her name's Tanya.

Right? I Tanya. And so she's like, you know, you must be really smart. Is it easy for you to just do this stuff? You just sit here and watch TV the whole time and then, like, get straight a day. He's like, no, I have a routine. You know, I come home and do something and watch a little Mr. Belver there, and then I go do a homework, right? Yeah.

And she's like just... I'm in the middle of my routine. Right. Right now. You're disturbing my routine. He is. Thank you very much. Real salty.

Yeah, he is not having it. Which at this point, I'm like, come on, man. At this point. She's giving you the sign. Come on, man. She's sending out heavy vibes, right? Even me sitting back, I was like, are you not interested in the least? Yeah.

So she goes for some chapstick. This is Ford. Little girls are four. This little, I don't know, little girl. This young lady. She was forward. She was letting them know. She's like, oh, you know, it's a root of your favor.

You know, like, would you like to taste? Did she say taste? You want to try some? You want to try some, right? And he's like, I think I'm going to go. He leaves, right? And we think he's gone. Because what ultimately happens in the editor of it, like.

They cut right as he's getting up to leave. So, yeah, and that'll tie into the present thing. But what winds up happening is she grabs his hand and says to him, I always wondered what it would be like to kiss someone like you. And it's the wording, right? Yeah. Because it wasn't like Randall. Or smart people.

Smart, not even smart people, you know what I'm saying? It was someone like you. Yeah. And poor guy, he's just like, you know what? I don't know what you're here for, but let me go on about my business, right? Like just another reminder of like, even in my own house, I just got othered. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. She's crazy. Kev was with his dad. They're out in the garage. Dad's at first you got to warm up, you know, move the shoulders around a little bit. I always watch these scenes. I'm like, Milo loves this. Who wouldn't?

Yeah. I mean, I guess what guys would be exciting? Lifting with my children is fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't even get a chance to do it like a whole lot. But like every once in a while I was like, hey, let's do a Peloton body weight workout. And they do it. And we just have the best time.

And so he's like, he's like, we're going to start off with the bar because the bar is plenty enough. He's like, yo, slap some weight on that thing, man. Let's go. He's like, ah, eh. Add some lead. Did he say lead? Yeah. Oh, God.

Quick question. I know you know the answer to this. Do you know how much bar, typical bar weighs? 30 pounds? 50 pounds? Very close. Close. Yeah.

It's 45. Okay. And like the big ones on each side are 45 pounds. Okay. So if you have a bar on each one, that's 135, right? And so, like, that's usually, like, once you get to high school to a certain side, like, that's a big one. Then, like, two things is, like, $2.25. And in the NFL Combine, they have you test how many times you can do $2.25.

Oh, wow. Right? Would you see some dudes or three plates? Two plates. Two plates. Two plates. Another one is $3.15, right? Because you add 90 pounds each time. Wow.

But, like, these NFL cats, check out a combine. It's insane. The things that those guys can do. Yeah. is beyond fathom. Just how strong they are. I could do like 10, 2.25s when I was in high school, but these cats are like pumping out like 30, 40.

Like, br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br- Wow. Yeah, so powerful you get C-T just watching. But it was interesting because in this one, we see that there is a legacy even to it because he lets his son get down on there. He starts working with the bar, and he's doing great. And we see flashbacks.

We see flashbacks of Stan. and young Jack doing the same thing. And it's interesting because, like, it's probably one of the more encouraging sort of elements of Stan. You see how Jack is sort of even, like, not as sort of rugged. Like, like, there is a softness even to where you see Stan to Jack to Jack to Kevin. Yeah.

That is, I don't know, it's an interesting thing for me to remember that, like, Jack is the tough guy, but he's a tough guy who's like actively trying to be a different way. He's trying to soften. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. It's really cool to see.

Whereas I've heard several yoga teachers say soften? That's not correct. That's what I said. Yeah, softened. I almost left the yoga class. Do you use fabric softener? No. Okay.

I'm telling you, I agree. I was like, I'm like in Downward Dog and I'm like, hmm. Salman, Texan. Technically, like the way it's spelled, but people do say salmon, and that bugs me. I think the only. This dinner is over. This dinner is over. I think the only thing that you can say you can go either way on is often.

Often. Or often. Because I'll go both ways sometimes. You could go either way or either way? I often. Yeah, I think I'm most often use the hard tea. Yeah, often. Often.

Well, how often are you using often? That's a good question. Now I'm going to clock it and be more aware. Either way. Either way. So we'll use this to dovetail into, let's talk about Kevin Madison. Okay. I like this one.

Because I felt like this is a storyline that each one of us could possibly comment on as well, right? We find out at the top that Kev just booked this movie, right? Yeah. He's pretty excited about it. But also, can I bring up the fact that we see, the first thing we see is, is Madison waking up early before Kevin, right? To put her makeup on. It was a very Maisel moment. Yes, yeah, yeah.

Oh, I, sorry. Sorry. I didn't watch Maisel. Yikes. There's, listen, we're living through peak TV, Sterling K. Brown. I know. There's too much to watch. Yeah, what are your favorite shows?

Right now? Right now we're watching the diplomat. Diplomat shot. It's great. It's great. But, I mean, there's too much to watch. So in Maisel, they make a comment on 1950s culture that a woman wake up. A husband would never see his wife.

Without makeup on. Without makeup on. And so they get up early. They do the hair. They do the makeup, all these things. In our show. That's right, right? That is correct.

That's correct. But I think in our show, it's like it's so wrapped up in this poor woman who is essentially strangers with Kevin, right? Yes, yes. And, like, not, you're still shocked. It's not that big of a deal. I'm fine. The marvelous Mrs. Maisel, like, we're really.

Because he's in it, and he thought that you watched everything he was in. But, like, he's just mad. I miss the J-Lo movie, too. I'm sorry. Okay. I know there's certain things that you're okay with, but I missed your turn on Maisal. I miss the J-Lo movie. It's okay.

But anyways. But yeah, she's also, she has a history of struggling with appearance in her body. Yes. And all these things. And it's just a reminder of these things. Yeah. And this poor woman who's like thrust into this relationship with a movie star. A supermodel movie star.

Yeah. And they're having babies and her bodies changing. Like there's a lot that's going on, I think, in her mind. And I just saw this and was like, oh. Yeah. Girl, you're about to, like, split wide open in front of your man. Like, you don't need to be putting on blush at 6 a.m. And she gets up.

She makes him breakfast. It's a low cow pancake? Is that what it is? Yes. Low cow, sugar free, something gluten-free. It's grain-free, blah, blah, blah. And he comes in, and she was like, wow, two days or whatever. Like, that's your second workout or something.

And just before breakfast. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're really excited, even though, and they kind of address the fact that, like, I thought we weren't doing, like, the engagement thing. And he's like, you know, they're old. They're old. This is, this brings them happiness, whatever.

Sure. And then he finds out that he got this movie that he wanted, right? With this, like, author, director, blah, blah, you know. Can't wait to get into that next episode. Yeah. Yeah, it's great. It's fun. And sleep training.

And sleep trading. Lots of talk about in the next episode. He gets so excited that he leaves her, leaves the pancakes. It's like chicken breasts and rice for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, basically, like, takes a phone call. I probably going to have to have a sex scene. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's like, you know.

There's a love scene. Yeah, there's definitely a shirtless scene. Got to keep it tight for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's on the ready. Leaving Madison with this plate of pancakes. Dejected. She worked so hard on.

Totally. Yeah. They go on this walk around the block. There's a funny sort of interlude with a runner who sees him and wants to take a picture or take a selfie. Yeah. Well, because they're walking without their masks on. Yeah. Because they're, you know, together.

I was a quick, quick anecdote. Having the mask during this time was fun to go to run errands. Yeah. Because, like, folks wouldn't sort of clock. Clock. But if I said, I remember like speaking to cashier or something like that and having people go Sterling. Like they heard the voice.

Yeah, your voice is recognizable. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why I refuse to wear a mask. Because I do not refuse to be recognized. Yeah. You encourage it. I must be recognized.

I love how naked you are and your desire to be known. Listen. My. Yeah, you work hard. I'm not going to put all this work in. For people not to be like, are you? Not to get extra whipped cream on your hot chocolate. I would also say,

Starbucks barista is excited to see you coming. Is it different at this point in the show? Like the first three seasons, you have the suit, you have like a different look or whatnot? Like, is it happening more now that your character's looking more how you look in regular life? Yeah, I mean, yeah. Okay.

But I will say watching these episodes that even now rewatching them, I'm starting to get annoyed by the masks. Really? Like, yeah, yeah. Because there's just a trauma to it. Like, I'm not, like, I was never against wearing them. Sure. I wore them, but I did not like wearing them. Right, right, right.

I was uncomfortable. I was like, especially with a beard. It's like all kinds of different stuff. And now as I'm watching, in the back of my head, I'm like, can we get rid of these masks? Yeah, you're retramatized. Have you watched Eddington? No. Okay, never mind.

It's, they have masks on there. Well, it takes place during COVID. Yeah. And it's this, it's, it's an Ariaster movie. Yeah. And there's this sheriff and this mayor that are sort of at odds with one another. Pedro Pascal's the mayor and Joaquin Phoenix is the sheriff. And the sheriff has like this grace for people that takes place in Texas.

Yeah. For people who don't want to wear a mask. And the mayor's like, there's a mandate. And, like, chef, you got to treat people like people. Like, if they don't want to wear a mask, like, you can't just throw them out or da-da-da-da-da. And the mayor's like, that's exactly what I can do. It becomes a big sort of debate. Yeah.

Side line. So they take this picture with this runner while they're in the midst of this, like, heavy conversation. You can just tell there's like... I sense you're upset about the sex scene. Yeah. I'm not upset about it. And he kind of, like, keeps harping her about that. Like, it doesn't mean anything.

There's a bunch of people standing around, blah, blah, but all the things you would explain to your partner of, like, it's not a big deal. Anytime you have to explain, like, what a sex scene is like on camera. And it is the truth of the matter. Hair and makeup is there. They're like, can you turn this way for the light? Can I not try to drip a beat of sweat on you? Like, it's like an unsexy thing. So you try to put people at ease with that, right?

And clearly this is not what's bugging her. Yeah. The only love scene I've ever had in a movie. Yeah. The, the lead, Lucy Lou, was it, no, no, was the lead actress and I was her husband. Yeah. And, and the lead actress's husband was directing the movie. Oh, well, that's.

So on top of it, on top of it, on top of it usually being awkward. Come on. I've had that situation where somebody significant other wants to come to set that day. I'm like, come on, man. You're not helping. It wasn't even wanting to come to set. It was a low-budget film. He had to be there.

He's the director. The director. Yeah. Ooh. Yeah. It was a... Dan did... To Dan's credit.

He never came to set if, like, if Kate and Justin had something. No, he just watched remotely from his office. Yeah, exactly. I dare you. You said.

I dare you. I am watching. Keep your tongue in your mouth. You nasty little thing. Anyway. By the way, it took me a good half a season to realize that people were watching us remotely.

Oh, yeah. Did you really? I was not properly informed of that fact. Of that. innovation. I wasn't either really. That was the beginning of that innovation, wasn't it? Yes. Yeah. And part of me was not happy.

Well, no one ever has to show up instead again. Who was it? Part of me was not happy about it. I was like, this is an odd thing. Oh, see, I love it. I love knowing that like somebody. Maybe if I had been informed. Sure, sure, sure. It just made me feel good like. Man is an exhibitionist. No, no, I just, it makes me feel good knowing like, okay, our bases are

covered. Like, if something is going crazy haywire, like Dan is watching, listening, something, he knows that, like, if we didn't get the take or, do you know what I mean? Like, somebody would jump in. You want to know how I found out? This is maybe partially why I'm also upset. And I don't know when it comes, but it was on it. I was not having a good day.

Yeah. And the guest director and I, like, right away, it was like, the only time has ever happened. Like, something was, maybe she also was not. having a good day. And I was making a choice. And I got a little attitude from the director. And so I got a little. Oh, I'm like, I offline want to hear who this director was.

I can't even remember. I got a little like, all right. Was it during this season during five? Yes. I got a little shut down. Uh-huh. And how I found out that people were watching remotely was I got a text from Dan. be like, hey man, are you okay?

Was the director of Mandy Moore? No. Okay. That would be hysterical. Hesterical. I was like, that was the next season, but that would be amazing. This director and I didn't see it all. The episode comes up later.

I'm like, oh, this was the episode. Remember in San Francisco? Yeah, it's probably better that I don't talk about it on the episode. But like, yeah. And so I was embarrassed. Yeah. And I was like, what do you mean? Am I okay?

It's like, I can see something feels wrong. And I'm like, what do you mean something that feels wrong? I'm like, oh, he's sitting watching. And everyone's sitting and watching. Writers, producers. I'm like, and they're watching, and they're watching, not just the takes. Yeah. The cameras just, I'm sitting here on the couch between takes.

Oh, yeah. And they've got just a live feed to me ruminating. And I'm like, oh, shit. You got to give somebody a heads up. Not that I would change anything. Not that I behave a lot differently. Sure. But I was like, that's kind of fucked.

Yeah. Like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To have all these, you know, baby monitors. This is interesting. Just in the smallest of way, for speaking of me as an individual, I live my life like people are always watching. Not weird.

Yeah, I love. That's what makes you a movie star. Yeah, kind of. That's what makes me a character actor. People are always watching. People are always watching. Yeah. Anyway, let's continue with this storyline.

Madison admits that she is not upset about the sex scene. Right. She's upset about her body and changing. And she can't really even talk to him about it because they're essentially strangers. Right. And she, I think, ends up, like, walking off, right? And they get back to the house. And she admits her eating disorder to him.

Yeah. and that she keeps the ultrasound picture on their fridge to remind her that she needs to eat. This is what she is eating for to feed these growing babies. Yeah. Babies. And how she is just wildly insecure and he's like essentially this Olympic swimmer. And, you know, like how could he possibly understand what she's going through? And he realizes that, in fact, he's playing a lawyer. Like, why would he need to be ripped?

Does his automatic, like, his autopilot reflex is to sort of just essentially like, oh, I got a gig. My body is my temple. I need to work out. I need to look a certain way. This is the expectation the world has of me. And he admits that he has, in fact, his own eating issues and body dysmorphia and body image issues. And it's all kind of related back to his dad. It's, he has a lot of stuff too, and he's really worried that he's going to pass a lot of this on to his unborn kids.

And that's when we cut back to in that past, like after he's worked out with his dad, he winds up going back into the gym by himself to keep it going. Yeah. Yeah. And just like how he had the greatest, most connected parents in the world and even they missed so much. So that's why he has this deep-seated fear of like, I don't want to pass on my shit to my kid. It's just an interesting example of like the opposite ends of this dysmorphia conversation, right? Yeah. That like what is healthy and what is not?

Yeah. And the fact that it's the actual obsession that is detrimental to the life that's being lived, right? Like exercise, as we see, he goes back in, right, to get to get more exercise or to get whatever the thing is can also be a problem. Yeah. You know, if it's affecting your life in a way, I remember this story. There was this guy in my college who was just like, like a strong, like ripped. Yeah. Beyond, like super hero.

And Adonis. Yeah. Yeah. And was in the gym. If he wasn't in class, he was in the gym. Right. And he would hang out there. Like even if he wasn't working out.

Totally. Like that's where you'd find him. Yep. And he was an animator, I remember, cartoonist. Yeah. And he at one point broke his leg and couldn't work out the way he wanted to. And I remember talking to him in the gym. And he was like on the edge of suicide because his body had become accustomed to this output of serotonin and adrenaline or whatever the feel good drugs that come with exercise, which is why it feels.

feels good to exercise. Yeah. But he had given his body so much of it that as soon as it didn't have it, it like fell into this. Deep chasm of depression. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. This is why it's so, we have to be so careful with anything that occupies that much of our brain chemistry. Yeah.

Yeah. Social media, whether it's social media or whatever the thing is that's given it that little, that little morphine drip of serotonin is something we have to be careful with. Yeah. Which is, this is an interesting illustration of that. So I can, I remember the first time, Justin had to take his shirt off for the show or whatnot, and I would tease them, right? But like, I also saw that, like, in the teasing,

it was all, and I recognize this within myself, is like, we all have a certain way that we want our bodies to look when we have to be naked in front of the camera. And we know what our best version of ourselves is. Even if people see something else, And they'd be like, hey, looking good or whatnot. You're like, thanks, appreciate it. But like in your head, there's this thing that you want to be able to show

because you know once it's out there, it's out there in perpetuity. Yeah. Right? And I think that I have a fairly healthy attitude with regards to, you know, my safety, health, and well-being. But even when I have to do these scenes, man, it's like, oh, I will eat once the scene is finished. Right.

Because the little bit of bloat, or what I'm not. have you, like I'll try to drink a little bit of water, but like not too much because it just makes it a little puffy. And I like, I need that whole thing. And so it is, I don't know how you guys feel about it, just speaking myself. And I think just my brother would echo me on this. It's like, there is pressure that you put it. And people ask me, it's like, you're a councilman. You're a, what are you so jacked for? Part of it is because I just, the quality of life that I want to have in terms of endurance and being with my children. It's just, just me. But there is an extra little thing that happens when you turn that camera on.

Sure. And you're like, right? If you make me shoot that sex scene at the end of the day, you'll see the most angry version of Sterling Cambron. Because we won't get to have anything to eat all day. And we know nutritionists and things that have tricks and tips for like, like, there are dudes hopping in baths with 50, pounds of Epson salt. Yep. Just take all the liquid.

50 pounds of Epson salt. So, you know, there are certain supplements you can take to make your veins pop. My brother used to, like, take this when he was a wrestler and had to make weight. Sauna. He had a gum that he would just spit out a pound, two pounds to make weight. And so there's all these, yeah, there's all this like routine for preparing for your whatever on camera. But it's, yeah, it can get in your head. I think Mandy Moore is the only person.

that hasn't got figured out because she just climbs mountains. I don't climb. I have not climbed mountains in years. I would love to get back to that. You climbed the mountain since you've been a mama? One. Climbed one. One.

I'm ready to get back out in the world. I can see you are. Look at that dress. Come on now, mama. Yeah. I mean, I think it's not different for men and women. There's incredible pressure on women. Yeah.

I feel like I just haven't, maybe because I've been doing this since I was a kid or something, but I just haven't felt that same pressure. Or I don't push that same pressure on yourself? Myself. God bless you. Yeah. I don't know. And I've been this size and that size and, you know, weight has fluctuated over the years. And it's never really, it's never been something that's bothered me personally. But I do understand that that, yeah, the pressure is undeniable. Yeah. Absolutely. But yeah, I don't. I don't think about that. Well, maybe because, like, I'm not doing sex scenes, so, or shirtless scenes or, you know, anyway.

You and Milo had showers. Before there was ever any paradise. You know what I will say? But, but this is NBC. I will say the one thing that I do think about if I'm going to be showing a little bit of skin is a tan. Okay. We all look good with a little color. That's something that I think about.

I hear you. Listen, when you're pasty pale like me, Come on, Orlando, you ain't pasty. I'm pasty. I'm pasty. I'm pasty. I'm in December. Multiple different shades of sun damage.

Just a little color. Does a long way? I'll do a spray tan. Oh, yeah. How long do the spray Johns last? A week. If you keep it, like if you maintain it properly. Do you get in this thing naked or do you get in the thing you put on draws?

Like, how does it go? I have underwear on, but otherwise naked. And usually a tiny bit of underwear. Really? Yeah. You feel good when you're talking about it. It's an Irish boy's dream come true. It does like, everyone looks better with a little color.

Everybody looks better. A little bit, not orange. No one. Not wrong. Not orange, though. That's the difference. It's hard. You need a, yes.

I have a very talented. Shout out to Julian. She's the best. Does she come over to your house? Yes. Okay, maybe I need Julian's number. You do need Julian's number. You know what I'm going to do one?

Give me Julian's number. Okay. Just to see. I don't want to be left out. Maybe you could do like with a little glitter or something. Just a little sparkle. All right, clip this. If this clip gets 10,000 lights, we will do a group spray tan.

Yeah. On Instalive. Okay, so that's Kevin Madison. Yeah. And then so Randall's. Randall's situation is... Present day, Randall. What's going on with Randall?

He's looking for a new therapist. More pancakes with Beth's foot in them. Pushing pancakes, I wrote. Pushing pancakes. You're looking for a new therapist. Randall's looking for a new therapist. We saw in the last episode, he essentially broke up with Dr. Lee

and said, you know, there's some things that I feel uncomfortable talking to you about, and I need to be able to talk to them. So I think I need to find someone else. Yeah, so he's meeting with people via Zoom over his iPad or laptop. I can't remember

where do you eyes. And to varying degrees of enthusiasm with the folks that he's meeting with. And he ultimately lands on my man who played two for, I'm trying to remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From 30 Rock. 30 Rock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So good. Great guy. Great guy. And like he comes downstairs. He tells

his family, like, I think I met him. Keith Powell? Keith Powell. Yeah. Keith Powell. And she's happy for me, et cetera. She's just trying to, like, warm the girls up, talking about her pancakes and everything. I stuck my foot in these pancakes. But have you heard the statement?

Yeah, I love it. I love that statement. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, many more been around. It's one of the statements that I feel probably, maybe the most jealous that I can't really use on a day to day. Yeah. It's a good one.

I can't carry it off. No. You don't think you can? I mean, I could, but nobody in my world would get it. Rachel, if you said it to your wife, if she made something that was just delectable, and you said, baby, I think you just stuck your foot in this, whatever it is.

Yeah. She'd get that. Maybe. I'll give it a shot and let you know. It's all good. I'll give it a try. It's a good try. And it's one that is always deeply appreciated.

Is it Southern? Yeah, it's Southern. It's not necessarily Black, but it's a lot of Southern. A lot of Southern and Black has overlap, right? But it's specifically a Southern. I think so. Term. Yeah, I agree.

And so he tastes the pancakes, tells her that she put a foot in it and that she gets excited and happy. Yeah, because there's a lot of attitude with these girls. He winds up meeting with therapists. This episode should be called puberty. Yeah.

Yeah, it should be. Talking about, he's just a little nervous about, you know, how it's going to go, et cetera, because I think he's got a lot riding on it. You know, he wants it to be a good thing. I don't know if you guys have gone through a situation where you've had outs with your therapist. I've had the same therapist for a long time,

So it's been very fruitful in that way. But I can only imagine, like, meeting somebody new and starting that process. It's like, you know, trying to be naked with your clothes on, which is more difficult for most people except for Chris Sullivan, who lives that way. The consummate nudist. Emotional nudist. Yeah, I'm an emotional nudist. Oh, there's a podcast.

He says you seem like the kind of guy who likes homework. So I'm going to give you an assignment. He says, I want you to go home. and think about a story from your childhood, something that you think is sort of fundamental to me getting to know who you are as a person, right? Write it down and share it with me the next time. Okay.

So in the midst of that, also we find out that Tess had an incident at school. Sure. Right? I'm trying to think there was a little bit of attitude from everybody that morning at the breakfast table. Come home. Beth and Randall are taking a look at this video that Tess and her friend

and this is the beginning, the first introduction of like pronouns into our world, which I think is a fascinating conversation that we should have like in conjunction. But she and her friend, like, her friend is a they. What's their name? Alex. Their name is Alex. And Alex is like, yo, I'm not a she, I'm a they.

I've told you over and over again, screw you. Like that's basically like, you know, That's the mantra. They've made a TikTok video slash music video telling people in the administration to... To screw themselves. Yeah, which if it hadn't been on network television... It would have been F off. Probably would have been go fuck yourself.

Yeah. Yeah. If this was an HBO show, the level of trouble that she had gotten in... A little bit higher. Would have been the F word. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's a good point, too, because there's parts of me watching, I was like... It's pretty sweet.

Not so bad. I know it's pretty cute. It's pretty cute. Yeah. Listen, here, Mr. Reynolds, get out of here. It is like that, essentially. Young lady, you do not tell a teacher to get out of here. Get lost.

I think for Sue and I both, like, we were like, she's like, hey, S.K., like, is this bad with the bad? And I'd be like, I think we're supposed to act like it is bad. One of those moments where it's like really like, we're on network. Yeah. Go what. You got to go with us a little bit. Yeah. You know, when they're singing, freak out.

Yeah. You know what they mean to say. Right. We'll be right back with more. That was us. I've tried a lot of protein bars over the years, gang, mostly out of convenience. And what I kept running into was the same issue. They either had decent protein, but way more calories than I wanted.

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Peanut butter chocolate chunk. Come on. Yeah, peanut butter, peanut butter and chocolate is a timeless flavor. Sorry, I just took a bite out of this one, but this is delicious if anybody wants to try. Is it really? Yeah. Yeah, this is the new brawl. Here.

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O' raspberries over here. Raspberries? But bananas, you have to listen, shopper. It's got to look a certain name. I need one bunch that's ready to go. Talk to me. I need second bunch that's going to be ready in three days. Talk to me.

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That's s-h-i-p-t-t.com. Tess's situation is over. She has a teacher, and this is inappropriate and, like, I can't be... Don't be touching a black woman's hair without asking permission. Don't touch anybody's hair. Don't touch anybody's hair without asking permission. Look at you, Joe Biden. For real, for real.

Like it's one of those things. I remember, like, even as a dude, they'd be like, why do you even brush your hair? And I'd be like, what are you talking about? It's like, you don't have any. Like, if it was this long or whatnot? So I would do this thing where I would brush it backwards so they could see the difference. And then I would brush it forward. And they'd be like, oh, it does make a difference, doesn't it?

I was like, yes. And I resist this is a dumbass. But if you don't have it, you don't know. So Brown is always kind of like bridge gaps. So screw you. Screw you, right? So the parents are very upset It's always trying to bridge the gaps

Yeah I am I know And it must be exhausting Time to time Yeah And so the parents are upset It was really

But we're looking at both of us And Sue has to go And as a young lady You do not speak like that To adults and everything like that And as I'm watching I'm like yeah that's right You tell them

I was like Do the best you can Yeah Make it believable. It's really like, I mean, I was like, I don't know, the production value on that video is really good. It was a solid video. Yeah. It was a solid video.

But you guys kind of do more or less say that. Basically, she says she's done being the prissy girl in a straight white, like the straight white suburbs, right? Yeah. When Randall goes to talk to her, he acknowledges, he celebrates her acknowledging her feelings, right? He just doesn't agree with the way that she went about it. So it is, there is a little bit of that mixed in, like, you are entitled to feel that way. It's understandable why you feel that way. Yeah.

You just can't, you can't make this video and talk about teachers that way. It's like, this is going to go viral. People are going to find out it's not the way to handle things. And he talks about how he never would have done something like that as a kid and really just how great it is that she's sort of coming into her own. There's a right way and a wrong way to get the message across, essentially. and he grounds her, takes her phone away for six weeks. Six weeks and she's about to say something that she's going to regret that you put it out out there, you're going to lose it for another three weeks.

Yeah. She buries it, you know, called him a fascist before it walks out, holds hands with his wife. Did she call you a fascist? Like, yeah, yeah, she did. There's something. Well did she know? There's something that, like, he says about his daughter. Like, I was worried that she's going to be like me, you know, sort of close off.

When things like this would happen in my youth, I just sort of like, sat on them and didn't do anything about him as evidenced by like you come to the room in the in the past when randall's doing his homework and he's i think he's well he's just sort of reminiscing on what just happened between him and tanya or whatnot and she's like i saw you and tanya down there and he's like yeah good night mom yeah she's nice yeah you say she seems nice yeah okay just sat on it so i like what he's saying in terms of the juxtaposition of a daughter who is self-expressed. Absolutely.

Versus him who was... Compartmentalized and now we're living through the repercussions of that. Exactly. I guess the interesting part of the conversation, too, is the Internet has a long memory. Yeah. Is also another thing that, like, I think we know the generation behind us didn't quite know because they got social media at a time where, like, it's still... Sure.

Could be a problem for them. And now I think maybe the youngest do actually are aware. My sister. What you post, yeah. Everyone can see. Yeah, but also probably don't care. They seem to not care. Well, I'll say.

No, but what I mean is like there's an awareness of like, yes, of the permanence of it. Like when Rachel was in charge of hiring people in the year 2010 and 11, they would go to their Facebook pages. Right. And if people, and if a majority of their posts were them sloppy drunk, you know, they're like, maybe. Maybe not. Maybe not. Yeah. And my assistant, well, former assistant Haley, who will be turning, I shouldn't say that, but she's, she's younger.

But like, she's of an age where she said, when I got into college, I knew I had to, like, erase, I erased my whole Instagram, right? because I knew that people would be looking to, you know, college counselors or whatever to check that stuff out. And so she wiped it out and then had a level of consciousness as she moved through college and be like, all right, maybe this is worth sharing. This is not worth sharing. Right, right, right. Not that I think that the video they shouldn't have posted, but it's an interesting conversation. Yeah. Like about the Internet's memory.

For sure, for sure. All right, let's get into some Kotobi action because this is, you want to talk about changes. You guys are making big headways with regards to adoption. And there's a trepidation and excitement and equal parts on both sides and both people sort of get frustrated at the other person for being excited and or trepidious. You want to talk us through, like what that whole process was for you as you remembered and watched? Yeah, I mean, there's this kind of conversation, I think, around a lot of things involving kids, even when you're having your own.

Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of a lot of interesting parallels for me as an actor when it comes to delayed joy. Yeah. You know, in our industry.

You're waiting to, like, contract is signed. Yeah, the contract is signed. Yeah. Okay, but I'll celebrate the first day on set. You know what? I'll celebrate it to premiere. Uh-huh.

I'll celebrate if it gets critical review. And then by the time, by the time you've delayed all your celebrations, it's over. Yeah. And you're on to the next thing. Yeah. And I feel it happening with a lot of my friends, too, when, like, writers or directors, like, I just sold my first script.

Hey, man, that's great. Yeah, well. And I'm like, no, no, no, don't do that. Yeah. That's huge. Celebrate that. There's that personal relationship to enjoying the good things in life. And Kate and Toby clearly have different anxiety about different things.

And they're trying to line them up in a way that makes the process enjoyable but also realistic. Yeah. And they play it out where it's like, okay, I need you to be a little more anxious. And Rachel and I do this all the time, actually, where it's like, I need you to be a little more worried. Right. All right. Well, I need you to be a little more excited. Sure.

You know? Sure. Yeah. And let's come a little closer together. It's real. And let's talk it out. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which I thought was, I mean, it's the way that this show parallels my life. I mean, we had this conversation last night over something. Oh, yeah, bro. Oh, yeah. I mean, it sounds like a conversation between Sterling Kay and Ryan Michelle also. Yeah. You know, and that, I think the important thing is not making the other person wrong. Right.

You know what I'm saying? But just trying to empathize with where they're seeing things and how do we go through it together. It is an emotional acknowledgement. Yeah. Of the other person's reality. Yes. Yeah. What's that?

Shout out to this woman who plays Ellie. Yeah, she's great. She's great. Wonderful. Yeah. From the moment she walked on, I've actually, her name's Annie. Uh-huh. And I remember clarifying how to say her last name with her, and I can't remember now.

Spell it? Spelled. F-U-N-K. F-N-K. Remember? Has it got a double dot over something? I feel it. Nope.

Nope. So there's no, there's no punctuation. No. No, I don't think it is because I feel like I would remember if it was like you don't forget an Annie funky. No, you don't. So if there's some, and Annie, I'm so sorry. Annie F. Yeah, Annie F.

She's wonderful. She's great. She's really great. And the three of us got along like gangbusters as soon as she. Yeah. As soon as she. They gave her a great. Back story.

Yeah. As you're sick, because you don't see it coming for a second. Like, you know, me and my husband have been together. What puts a person in this situation? Right. Right. They had one child together, et cetera. Husband passed away from cancer.

She grieved for two years. She went out one night. Yeah. The night got away from her. And someone else. And she ended up pregnant. She ended up pregnant. And so we also, no, that's in the next episode.

I'm going to stick to this episode. Please. Brown. stick to that episode, right? Please. There is enthusiasm on everybody's part. She's got to go somewhere, and you guys offer to give her a lift. Yep, right?

Yeah, so we head to the car, get all loaded up. I'm going to say something about this argument. I find it interesting. And it could probably only work during COVID, because I'm not buying one thing of Pampas, bro. You go into the store to get, you better get you some diapers. Yeah. Now, she's talking, like, I think ethically, she's like,

everybody's making runs on things in the midst of COVID and just trying to like get as much. And she's like, I'm not going to contribute to the hysteria of the hoarding, et cetera. But you got to get more than one. One packet of diapers for a baby. Yeah. But the arguments also, you also got to bring them in the house.

So I got to look at you. Have it in her back. You know what I mean? It's a very cute argument. How many times you guys get to do that? Because there's a dance. There's a little rhythm to it. Yeah, we played it on a couple of different levels.

Yeah. I was watching it like, you guys, you guys, you got Ellie there. It does, writing wise, writing wise, it does go by maybe two beats too long. Yeah, agree. Before they turn, like, maybe we all were just enjoying the scene a little much. Yeah. But yeah. I'm like, don't you want to impress this woman?

She's going to give you her unborn child. Yeah. Yeah. Which is why it's, she's going to give you her unborn. born child. Perhaps. Well, when they're born. Perhaps we should be a little more aware.

The thing that I enjoyed about it is that in the cute television of it all, there was an argument, there was frustration, and there was repair. Yeah. There was like, actually, like at the end of it, it was like, all right, my bad, I should have brought it in. You got me. Yeah. And then it was just like, ready?

Yeah. Ready to go? It was great. Yeah. Just, that was a whole day in the park for the three of us. It's a good times, man. Yeah. And then, like, how do you guys leave her?

Like, we drop her off at the, at her, where she's going, which is essentially to go home, right? Because her son, daughter, baby, child is freaking out. She's like, I need to get home. Yeah. And they drop her off on the curb. And they were essentially like, hey, hope that, uh, that cute little argument we had back there didn't change the way you feel about us. Yeah.

And she makes, you know, the, the, the, uh, the observation that, that you can tell a lot about people by the way that they argue. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Listen, there's a lot of things. Well, she's got, uh, what's, what's her ringtone? Oh, Ghostbusters. The Ghostbusters ringtone.

She's got a Buffy reference. She's got a Ghostbusters ringtone. She is, she has. Stealers, something about the Steelers? She's got a dealer's mask? Yeah. Because she had researched them a little bit. Yeah.

And Toby points out that she has an excellent taste in pop culture. That's right. Because you make a reference to like her favorite Star Wars character was like, not Bubba Fed. No, I don't even remember. It was, yeah. Bober Frick. Bober Frick. And she's like, that's a deep cut.

Yeah, it's a deep cut. So it's all feeling good. Yeah. Everything seems to be going according to plan. Yeah. Right. That's the end of the episode, right? Every once in a while we cut back and forth between the granddaughter and her grandfather, right?

At a point in time, they're speaking in the house, or she's speaking in English. He's like, I told you, you got to say it in Vietnamese. And you're like, you only say I have to do Vietnamese when we're going fishing. Right. So it turns out that, like, they're in the States now. Like, you know, because the first scene is all in Vietnamese. Yeah. Right.

Then we start this transition to English or whatnot, and he's cooking and anything. It's like, who taught you how to cook. He's like, well, you know, I can't remember who taught me that cook, but like, what's more important is like, who I cook for. Who I cooked for. Cooking a meal is how you show people you love. them. Yes. Yes. And he's like, was this, and he winds up saying a she. He's like, oh, so it was a she? And they're like, yeah, so we're all sort of on the hook throughout the episode like, who's this too? How are they related? What's what's going on? This is also, I think, when

multiculturalism comes in to play for writers, because it gives you a deep fake. You're like, I didn't see that coming, right? Yeah. Because it turns out, the granddaughter asked, like, is the person that you cook for the woman who's in all the pictures in the house. And he's like, yeah, that's it, right? And so they sit down to eat, they fall to the table, and then the camera goes up. And I'll be damned if we don't see Laurel and this Vietnamese man in the picture frame.

And everybody's like, oh, shit, y'all did it again. I didn't know who these people were at the beginning of an episode. And now I know. And now it all comes together. Yeah. I love the show. Laurel lives. Laurel lives.

Laurel lives, right? And she lives with some sort of romantic relationship with this. Lived? Right? Because the way that they phrase it is that maybe she's not still alive? I can't remember. The way she phrases, the way the daughter, is it? Yeah, like, is it the woman that's in all the pictures around or something that makes you feel like she's not in the picture anymore?

She's not around now. Yeah, like maybe she doesn't live there. Exactly. At one point in time, she was around. But our show kind of leaves it. Leave it open. Purposefully vague. So also important because we see an older version of the person in the picture in life.

Like the grandfather was not the word in the picture. He was a younger man. Yes. With a young Laurel. Yes. If it's continued. If Laurel has lived, yes, to older age or not. But we will find out.

Fun, fun episode. Really fun episode. Good stuff. Changes, right? Chit-chit-ch-changes. We have, we're going to do a little emotional hotline. Yeah. Emotional Support Hotline.

That's the words I'm looking for. We're going to go. We're going to talk to Joe. We're going to talk to Joe. Our favorite segment, our fan segment, guys. We're going to take a break and we'll be back with more. That was us. All right, we are back with our favorite segment, our fan segment.

We received an email from a listener named Joe and his story really resonated with our producers, especially from the perspective of being an adoptive parent. We haven't heard the full story yet, but we know it connects deeply with the themes of This Is Us that we explore on the show, Family Identity, and the many ways people come together. I'm excited to hear Story Gang. Let's give Joe a call. Let's call in. Let go, Joe. Hey, everybody. This is Joe. Hey, Joe.

Hey, Joe. I'm doing well. How are you guys doing? Well, thank you. Fantastic, man. Let us know how your story. Let us know how your story ties in to our story. It starts with the rewatch that really sparked my interest in sending an email. Okay.

And that is because I'm watching the show for the second time as a parent. The first time I watched it, I was not a parent. Me too. Completely touched by the story and loved every episode in the entire series. But watching it through the lens of a parent is completely different. And on top of that, I'm an adopted parent. Okay. Okay.

Do you mind regaling us with your story of how you, your journey to becoming a parent? Yeah. So I don't know exactly how it started, but I will give influence to the Rosie O'Donnell show as a kid in the 90s. Okay. She was a big proponent of adoption. Yes. And it just kind of sparked my interest, even as a kid, like I thought maybe someday that's what I'll do. Yeah. And particularly what interested me was foster care.

Okay. And so as a single adult in my 20s post-college, I decided I should do some volunteering, and I learned about CASA, court-appointed special advocacy. Okay. And I did that for five years. I had five children in a foster home. Wow. And at the end, the story is wonderful because the foster parents adopted all five.

children. Wow. Yeah, so that was really cool. Wow. Experience. So not only did I get to see that process, but I got to experience it firsthand. Yes. How foster to adoption can really be a benefit to children. So I met my husband in 2015 and mentioned this idea. He was like, maybe. We got married in 2019 and I kind of got I got him on board. Let's say I kind of got him on board. Okay. And we went in March of 2020 to meet with a agency because I knew from my experience that I didn't want to work with the Department of Children's

Services. I wanted to work with an agency that would advocate for us. Okay. We actually went and met with this agency the day of COVID lockdowns, the morning of. Wow. Wow. Okay. Yeah. So that, that completely stopped our process. And then once we got, when things started opening again, the agency actually didn't survive COVID, so we had to find a new agency. Oh my goodness. And that process was grueling because we came to find out that most agencies are trying to find stable foster homes, not to work with families that are wishing to foster to adopt. Okay. So over and over again, we met with agencies and we'd leave the orientation like completely disappointed. It got to the point where my husband wouldn't even participate in it anymore.

Why is that? Why are they looking for foster homes and not to set up adoptions? Because the goal is reunification for most of these ages. Sure, sure, sure. Get it. So they're looking for temporary homes where they can place a kid, get the kid back to the family, and then get you a new kid or kids. Copy that. Okay, gotcha. Wow, okay. Yeah, so that was really defeating. And then it's just, you know, God's plan. One day I'm scrolling through social media, and I see this ad for a company called Raise a Child. And they're not a agency that helps you with fostering or adopting or anything. They're an agency that helps match you with an agency that meets your needs. Okay. An agency for an agency.

Exactly. Oh, wow. So I did their orientation, and they matched me with an agency. And one of the people called me, We were on the phone for a couple of hours, and at the end of the call, she said, I think your story is compelling, but I actually think you would be better matched with Chris 180. And it ended up being a match made of heaven. They supported us every single step of the way. We actually had a six-month-old that was going to be placed with us, and that fell apart, and that was quite devastating because we met the child. And then after a couple months of getting past our grief, we met our two now eight-year-old and six on Monday, full-blood siblings, Mabelina Michael.

They are in third grade and kindergarten and are absolutely thriving in our home. Oh, my gosh. Wow. So can I ask you, what year is this, Joe, that this all sort of transpired? How long have they been in? How long have you guys been a family? Okay, so that's a really interesting story too, which also connects to the show, is we met them at like the last weekend in February of 24. Okay.

And it was like one of those moments where you just know there was like an immediate bond where our daughter ran into my husband's hands and our son ran into my hands and we played at the park all day. And we just knew. and then we worked with their person overseeing their case, and we actually ended up having this really unique experience of co-parenting with their foster mom. Their foster mom, Christina, is wonderful, and she was not interested in adoption. She actually wanted to be a foster home,

the opposite of what we wanted. Wow. She wants to be that safe place for kids to land while, you know, the courts figure out what's best for the child. Yeah. So we co-parented with her from March of 2024 to May of 2024, so Mabelene could finish first grade. Okay. And so they were with her during the week and us on the weekend.

So it was a really interesting thing. I say, like, I know now what it feels like to lose a child, but I also know what it feels like to be in a co-parenting situation. Yeah. And Memorial Day of 2024, they moved in with us. And it was, our agency was so pleased and their representation was so pleased that they, they moved up the adoption. We adopted them in October of 2024. Wow.

Congratulations. It's amazing. Thank you. This is amazing. What's wonderful is that Christina has been willing to stay in their lives. So tomorrow is Michael's sixth birthday party and Christine and her family will be there. That's awesome. That is so beautiful.

This is such a new experience. Okay, so wait, just, I'm curious for you and your husband in re-watching the show as parents, right? Because it's been a year and a half so coming up on two years, et cetera. Like, how does it affect move you differently? Because, like, we have two people across from me and Chris and Mandy who were not parents at the beginning of the show and our parents now. So I'm curious from your perspective, what's different, if any, in watching. Well, there's another layer of this, Sterling, that it relates to Randall's story,

and that is transracial adoption. Yeah. My husband is a black man. Yeah. And our children are both Caucasian. Oh, you flipped it on me. You flipped it on me. I'm actually trying to get him to rewatch it.

He's not. We did watch the original run together, but that is a whole other layer that is hitting me as I rewatch. Yeah. Because that is definitely a journey that Randall goes on. And it's definitely something that my husband is learning to navigate. Because if you know the statistics, it's something like 60 to 75% of children in foster care are black and brown boys.

Yes. So we almost thought, like, for sure. That's what we'd end up with. Right. And we got two adorable little white kids. And my husband is, Mabelene has taken to him. So he's had to learn how to like style her hair and comb and blow dry and do makeup and nails,

all that kind of stuff. Are you kid, you're blowing my mind, Joseph. I feel that this is us reboot coming on. Yeah. No, I want to watch that show. It's like the negatives of this is like. The photo negative. Dude, this is absolutely because at the end of the day,

like you think something is going to manifest in a particular way, and then you're presented with something, and you say like, oh, I have love in my heart for these people, right? Like, regardless of how you thought it was going to look, you guys still said yes. That's friggin awesome, man. Unbelievable. It is unbelievable.

Sometimes you kind of can't even believe. it's your actual life. Wait, Joe, I love, like, you told me what your husband was. You are not African-American. No. I love this. This is what it, what it, I want to watch this show. No, I'm not even as well.

Joe, I want to watch your show, too. Dude, listen, thank you so much. Your producer, Sam, is amazing. Go ahead and tell her to pitch us. Okay, Sam. You heard it from the man. She heard, she absolutely heard it. She's wonderful.

You're wonderful. Just, like, if you want to, share your family's names, right? Will you tell us your husband and your children's names? And if you want to keep it like incognito, that's fine too. No, my husband's name is Victor. Yeah. Mabelene is eight years old.

I'm living outside of Atlanta, Georgia. Our children are from North Georgia. Okay. And can I give you like one more little short story? Please. We don't know the story. We love this. I'm trying to get your life rights.

Go. Give me here. So our son's name is Michael. Yeah. And so, Mabelina is eight and Michael will turn six on Monday. Okay. And my mother, my grandmother

raised my aunt Donna as her daughter because her, her, my aunt Donna's mother passed away shortly after she was born. Okay. Many, many years ago. So my, my grandmother raised. my Aunt Donna as her own. And the first child she had with my grandfather's name is Michael.

And he, for all of time, has been known as my uncle Mike. He goes by Mike. His son's name is Michael, but that's my cousin Mikey. Okay. And his son's name is Michael. Wow, lots of Michael. But he goes by his initials. Michael Gregory, he goes by MG.

MG. MG. And the baby that was placed in our home that never came in December of 2023 was named was Michael. Wow. Wow. So I always say I know it's my OMA, which is Grandma and German. My OMA has something to do with all of this. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I believe that. So wait, this young man is about to turn six. Is he just go by Michael? Do you call him any things? He goes by Michael. He's the only one. in the family that goes by Michael.

He just goes by Michael. Wow, meant to be. Dude. Absolutely meant to be. God bless you, Joe, and Victor and Maveline and Michael. Thank you for sharing your story with this, man. And thank you for watching your family.

And we're so happy to be connected to you and to know all about you and your family now. I mean, this is so, so special. And thank you for what you do. I can't imagine how emotionally taxing it is to be a foster parent, to foster to adopt. Like, it is, honestly, the little bit that we know through the research, through the show is just like,

it is a very, very special human being who has the capacity to open themselves and their lives and their homes up to these children. So thank you for what you and your husband have done as well. Amen. Thank you for your kind words. Appreciate you, man.

Same to you all. Thank you. Bye, Joe. Have a good one. Bye. What a cool guy. Are you kidding me? That was cute.

We really put our foot in that episode. We really put our foot in that episode. That was us pod at gmail.com. And you can also get to us on that speed pipe. Dot com slash that was us. Who wants to sign? I'll do it. I'm looking into the camera.

Ladies and gentlemen, that was us. That Was Us is filmed at Rabbit Grin Studios and produced by Rabbit Grin Productions. Music by Taylor Goldsmith and Griffin Goldsmith.