The 85 South Show with Karlous Miller, DC Young Fly and Chico Bean - Affion Crockett in the trap! With Karlous Miller, Mona Love and Brandon Lewis! PART 1
Episode Date: August 7, 2021The legend Affion Crockett is in the trap with his homie Brandon Lewis and Karlous and Mona Love post up to hear stories and game from the legend Affion! You know they gonna talk about tiddays - but A...ffion also tells us how he got in the comedy game, tells us about his break dancing days and tells us his favorite impression to perform! PART 1GET LIVE SHOW TICKETSGREENVILLE, SC AUGUST 7thbit.ly/greenvilleghettolegendsFAYETTEVILLE AUGUST 14thbit.ly/fayettevilleghettolegendsThis is the coldest podcast!Hit Our Website for more info: https://www.85southshow.com/Get our custom merchandise: https://85apparelco.com/Subscribe To our Channel: bitly.com/85tubeWATCH KARLOUS' MILLER's COMEDY SPECIAL! https://vimeo.com/ondemand/karlousmil...FOLLOW THE CREWKARLOUS MILLER - https://www.facebook.com/karlousm/DCYOUNGFLY - https://www.facebook.com/DcYoungFly1/CHICO BEAN - https://www.facebook.com/OldSchoolFool/Director - JOE T. NEWMAN - www.ayoungplayer.comProducer CHAD OUBRE - https://www.instagram.com/chadoubre/Producer - LANCE CRAYTON - https://www.instagram.com/cat_corleone_/It's Jon - https://www.instagram.com/holaj_o_n/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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I knew I wanted to obey and submit,
but I didn't fully grasp
for the rest of my life what that meant.
For My Heart Podcasts and Rococo Punch,
this is The Turning, River Road.
In the woods of Minnesota,
a cult leader married himself to 10 girls
and forced them into a secret life of abuse.
But in 2014, the youngest escaped.
Listen to The Turning River Road on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Hit a back clip and then dipped off the sex.
Your girl having sex.
She looking at me like, Loz, what we're doing next?
We might play the box.
Yeah, I got one from my ex.
That's the eggs box.
I picked the dough locks.
Nigger's so hot.
I take a shot of the motherfucking gin.
Again, I'm going to win putting dick all in a friend.
Now once again, when I come with some old kick in the front door and turn on the stereo.
Hey, I meant to say turn the radio on, but you ain't going to even be on that bitch.
A tattoo on your arm of your mom.
I mean, you know, harm.
If I'm going to walk up in, I'm coming with some parmesan.
I might order pizza.
I might get two.
The more you buy is cheaper.
All right.
That's called a special.
Yeah.
That's called it special.
I got the coupon.
Yeah.
They got an honor that shit.
It's called the Tuesday Night Special.
Yeah.
I can't believe the next track.
The L. Jones is a dirty burger.
Get the fucking alarm early.
My flow with the energy.
Got that world play, wrecking.
It's demolition's a derby.
If a rap is a herbie curvy, I left them on the journey.
With hospitals, devils advocate, excellent attorney.
Love craft country.
I get naked on the journey.
My balls deep.
I'm pulling out.
My dick, Gregory.
Chainsaw Massacre, melanin' face, leathery, feathery hat, throwback, starter jack is a down coat.
John on the beat, so everything got a sound dope.
Four eyes that second half are been around smoke.
King of Pop, Probleball shot, and then the crown broke, ground folk.
Suffered that PTSD from slavery, pimping I'm a ball, wherever Ohio players be.
Prayers to the church on the moon, I mastered it, lyrical disaster.
These niggas is blasphemism.
Okay, why?
God damn.
That's the brown man, digger.
Okay?
Right now, that's the ground man.
You're all over here, getting me.
Man, you don't know four.
I lost my head, man, man.
You're the coldest, boldest, nigger that I'd never seen.
Every time I see them, we're on a different scene.
Hey, you know what I mean?
Why, that's what I'm from the bay with them yada our beans inside of our scenes.
Bitch, you're the sight that I've seen.
I'm type of niggas be wearing jogging pants and flippin' jeans.
and keep the clean and pull up just with Janine
and then hit her all in the spleen with the pain
you ain't seen what I'm seeing with the pain
all in the spleen with the pain
had an old chick named Janine
she kept her house clean
she made a whole lot of collard greens
come on that shit had a lot of steam
come on
took the pot off the top
top off the pot
Hey Fianna's name Scott.
Come on live right now on my IG.
I'm in ATL doing the B-I-G.
Putting out that smokers in my face.
I'm getting contact.
Yes, you will.
I'm not going to walk by.
I'm telling you, man, because I'd be hired in a bitch.
In the kitchen trying to fry chicken wing your shit.
With the bread and the hot sauce and keep it real.
Just some niggins shit, because that's how I really feel.
Hey.
You got a headache, take an Advil.
And then take a nap and then really chill
I mean I stay higher than the light bill
Nigger do you even know what that is
That's the biggest bill most niggas got
She ain't really been the same since Park got shot
Y'all be letting niggas get away with everything
Seeing a nigga grab a nigger person
Touching dinghling
Oh
Touching dinghle?
I just like, what?
I'm gonna go here free stabs.
Y'all see why I'm at.
I'm a little bro.
This is just a trap shit, man.
That's how it's supposed to be.
That's fine.
We got all types of things going on in here today.
You know what I'm saying?
We got a lot to celebrate.
Just found out.
85 South Show was rated.
The blackest show.
Show on Earth.
This is the blackest show.
This show black as hell.
We're in here.
We in here.
You know what?
Today we got some very special guests
in the trap with us today.
I don't know if you have been in jail
for the last 12, 15 summers
or if your TV just been broke
or you just don't watch shit
when people are done.
doing great things.
But this
nigga right here
has been part of
a lot of great black things
from the movies
to the television shows
to the impressions
to soul train
to wilding out
to shit what, meet the blacks
meet the blacks again
actually I wasn't in that
oh well they should have put you in it
shit
wilding out alumni
The niggas on the first episode
Before it was an episode
Ladies and gentlemen
Hey for y'all
I'm cracking in here with us
The list goes on in on
The list goes on in on
Big fan
My man Brandon Lewis is in here with us today
Don't act like you don't see him
All over in there talking shit
And things of that nature
Roasting Nick
And then we got America's favorite hood chick
Don't go to be white girl
Mona is in here with us too
You see how I put this shit together
It's such a well-rounded cast
Hey Fiona, first of all
This is your first time in the trap
So welcome to the trap
Thank you, man
Marvin Gaye is in attendance with us today
Also, my forever co-host
I don't even need to turn around and look
Marvin is always in my soul
So I appreciate his presence
Yeah right here
Man, what's been going on? How are you living, G?
I'm living good, man
Pandemic been good to me
I'm still, I'm healthy
Hell yeah
Kobe free as a motherfucker.
Been seeing you popping in on all these interviews,
giving the back stories.
I was up late watching soul train clips
and shit like that.
What's the shit you did like with TV One or something shit?
Yeah, yeah.
I had shit pop up on YouTube.
I was like, nigga what ain't talking about?
Didn't this nigga come out doing this shit?
I was like, bro.
Spaghetti body.
Hey, and your Apollo clip
that went viral on Facebook again this week?
Heavy.
Man.
Yeah.
So you got a lot of history, bro.
How did you get started with entertainment?
Dancing, really?
Dancing has always been my thing
and dancing is what put me on stage first
So by the time
Deaf Comedy Jam came around
I saw
I saw hip hop and comedy merge
And the hip hop I was already a part of that
The only missing link was was comedy for me
So when I saw comedians like Cool Bubba Ice going there
And at the time I wasn't a comedian
I didn't even know I could do comedy
It wasn't an aspiration
But when I saw him go on and do all impressions
I was like, oh shit, I've been doing voices since I was a kid.
I'm a dancer.
I know how to work a stage.
So I just started trying shit.
And that's how I got in.
Man, you've been killing it with the impressions.
What's the number on it now?
Like, how many impressions do you, would you say you do?
I have no idea.
Because some people I forget I do, and I just don't do them in a while.
And then somebody knew it will come up.
Like, I just randomly did DJ Cassidy on the versus reenactment.
But it's not like I had a spot-on impression of them.
I was just, I had the glasses, the hat.
And when he was DJing for Keith and Bobby Brown Versus.
Yeah.
I just came out doing wacky shit and everybody was dying off of that shit.
That series that you and Spice Adams created, where y'all recreate the verses joined.
The after show?
Yeah, like, how did that shit come up?
When Teddy and Babyface fucked up, when Teddy Riley had all the bad Wi-Fi, that's really where we decided to do it.
We was like, man, we should spoof this shit.
They got to let Teddy go again.
They do.
He didn't do it.
I don't know some real shit.
They got to let Teddy go again.
He got a whole other set of hits that he didn't get to use.
He alleged.
But he went twice, though, didn't he?
He got to go again.
He got to go three times.
It don't matter if you.
He got enough to where he could go again.
Yeah, he could go again.
Yeah, for sure.
Factuals.
That versus shit really been interesting, though, bro.
That Gladys Night.
Who she went against?
Patty.
Oh, yeah.
Miss Patty.
That was a good one.
Gladys was.
Soldier Boy Bowie was the funnest.
Yeah.
She swore a big drink, though.
That shit was funny.
You got to get Soldier Boy on this bitch.
He ain't been on here?
He ain't been on here.
This is prime time soldier boy entertainment right here.
He should be on here.
For sure.
I'm saying, bro, this is...
Somebody texts that, nigga, I know one of y'all niggins in here no soldier boy.
Don't nobody...
A jack-knowing on.
Get Big Draco on the line.
Big Draco.
You on?
First rapper to do...
My fault, yeah.
He ain't the first rapper to do the shit.
Oh, he will be after he doesn't.
You all have some heavy hitters on here.
You all have some heavy hitters on him.
Yeah, we got y'all on here.
Fuck you mean.
You on here.
Thank you, my nigga.
Nigga, you was on the real deaf comedy jam.
I actually was.
That was my first comedy experience, nigga.
I was in a room full of legends.
I mean, that's, if you know anything about your spirit,
that's when you know God talking to you,
saying you made the right decision.
When you look to your left, you see Sertritha entertainer.
To your right, you see Janney Brown.
You see Jamie Fox.
You see Russell Simmons.
You see.
Everyone who's who, Chris Rock, everybody was in this one room.
Yeah.
So I was like, all right, I got some work to do.
I got a journey in front of me, but I feel like I made the right decision.
It's crazy.
That meet the black shit taking note, too.
That was the third one or the second one?
I don't know.
I think they had, I think on Part two.
Yeah, it's part two, the scary joint.
Where you have some legendary scenes up in there?
And it's like, shit is hitting different, especially with social media.
That's the one.
Yeah, yeah.
But you know I'm talking.
I can't remember all this shit.
I knew what you're talking about.
The haunted house, Martin, Lance.
Yeah.
Ray, right.
Right.
And then you know, these movies is hitting different now because now these clips getting, like, all this fucking use that you never thought they would.
Every time you, like, click on some shit, it's the motherfuckers posting comments and then clips and videos and shit.
Yeah.
Especially the, like, with the, I don't give a.
Right.
Yeah, we have...
When the white boy
He did that shit
He was in the restaurant
Random as hell
He just walked out
He was like, I don't give a
Ugh
He said it perfect though
Like a white man
I don't give a fuck Keisha
He just walked up
Loud
Loud
Loud as hell
Like he was the one of them
That was real inconsiderate
Because he just left y'all
With that bitch
It just left
Like everybody in the restaurant
Don't know what the fuck going on
But he looked back
But he looked back
When he went out to do
He looked back
To make sure he'll be hurt him
Yeah.
Yeah.
So y'all been on the road and shit.
Yeah, shout out to this boy, man.
Brandon Lewis, this nigga, cold blood.
We've been on the road for, what, three, four years now?
Yeah, I've been knowing that nigga when he wasn't shit, bro.
Man, I knew Carlos Miller when we did MTV, your mama.
Exactly.
Nick ain't even have a lineup.
Nothing.
It's how far we go back.
All the way back.
Far back.
When I thought Hollywood was gonna be calling my fucking phone when I did that show.
I'm like, what's taking so long?
Ain't that a bitch?
Didn't nobody give a fuck about that show.
Not even the people who watched it.
How many times have y'all had that job, though,
where you was like, oh, nigga, this is about to be the one.
Every time I get one.
Every single time.
Really?
I'm here, yeah.
Yeah, you're on now, Mauna.
I'm telling you.
We're going to get you on.
What else's left to do?
You're in here with Aphion and that shit.
Somebody's going to sit here.
A light skin couch.
Like skid couch?
That's what y'all doing.
I'm here for it.
Yeah, we're not scared.
The melanin deficient couch.
Nah.
Now, we're here, though, man.
I'm glad to be here.
I'm proud of what y'all doing.
I remember when me and you had a convoy.
You was trying to figure some shit out and then here you are.
I'm still trying to figure some shit out.
We're going to have to have another one, man.
Let me know.
I'm telling you, shit is getting so weird right now.
I'm having a fucking dilemma.
Well, I'm always.
I'm always an ear.
I don't know everything.
Hey, man, you know about this shit, though.
I know enough. I know enough to help a little bro.
Hey, man.
Bro, how you link up with Nick, bro?
Shit, the same as most he all did.
You was one of those ones.
You just had a lot to do with the start of that shit, though.
Yeah, he said that he built the show for niggas like me,
but I still had to audition five times for that shit.
That's the type of shit he'd do that.
I wish I could say, yeah, no, he just called, and it was a rap, but it almost wasn't.
Shout out to DJ Debrick, my boy.
He fought for you.
That's my guy.
Yeah, Derek was inside the room in the office, and he was like, yo, why y'all not just booking this nigga Atheon?
Since day one.
He was the one that was, like, but again, Nick came to me.
I saw him in Vegas one time.
He was like, he's like, nah, I got a show for you, man.
I'm going to call you next week.
MTV, you got, you know.
He did say, you're going to have to audition.
but it's built for you
we're ready for you
but I was like why am I auditioned
and then had the people in the room
had the people in the room wasn't like
incredible
you know what I'm saying
like I'm freestown the same way you were just going
I know exactly what you say you know exactly what I'm saying
yeah yeah so Lowe's
I'm in the audition room
and I just black out I'm freestalling I'm talking about
the producers in the back of the room I talk about
now I ain't even know Nile at the time
I was talking about these shorts I was
roasting niggas and just pointing at them
and they was all like oh my god oh my god
three more auditions later niggins like
I thought I just did my eight mile M&M shit
like just just really killed it
and nah but but you know
what I learned is this
everything is a journey
and you gotta
you gotta remove all
bitterness from the journey and here's why
I say that because you well know
that there's some fuck shit that can go
on the business side of things and you have to remember that it's business we always think it's
personal shit but when it's business you have to literally look at yourself as as this fucking
bottle it's a product and people are making a decision based on that product whether they want
that product on their shelf or not and so I used to be sensitive about a lot of shit I used to be
personal about a lot of shit and then I finally was like oh okay you don't you just making a decision
about my product and you think that removing my my the product from the shelf is going to
discontinue sales but you don't understand that I manufacture this product and I know other
distributors that's going to and I don't need my shit in there but I don't need my shit in that
particular store so that's that's my my outlook on on this whole thing for my heart podcasts and
Cocoa Punch, this is the turning, River Road.
I knew I wanted to obey and submit, but I didn't fully grasp for the rest of my life what that meant.
In the woods of Minnesota, a cult leader married himself to 10 girls and forced them into a
secret life of abuse. Why did I think that way? Why did I allow myself to get so sucked in by this man and
and thinking to the point that if I died for him, that would be the greatest honor.
But in 2014, the youngest of the girls escaped and sparked an international manhunt.
For all those years, you know, he was the predator and I was the prey.
And then he became the prey.
Listen to the Turning River Road on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Your entire identity has been fabricated.
Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace.
You discover the depths of your mother's illness,
the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life,
impacting your very legacy.
Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro.
And these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories
I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets.
With over 37 million downloads,
we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests
and their courageously told stories.
I can't wait to share
10 powerful new episodes with you,
stories of tangled up identities,
concealed truths,
and the way in which family secrets
almost always need to be told.
I hope you'll join me
and my extraordinary guests
for this new season of Family Secrets.
Listen to Family Secrets,
season 12,
on the IHeart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
The OGs of Uncensored Mother
are back and badder than ever.
I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the host
of the Good Mom's Bad Choices podcast
brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast
Network every Wednesday. Historically,
men talk too much.
And women have quietly listened. And all
that stops here. If you like witty women,
then this is your tribes. With guests like
Corinne Steffens. I've never seen so
many women protect predatory men. And then me
too happened. And then everybody else want to get pissed off
because the white said it was okay. Problem.
My oldest daughter, her first day
in ninth grade, and I called to
I asked how I was going.
She was like, oh, dad, all they were doing was talking about your thing in class.
I ruined my baby's first day of high school.
And slumflower.
What turns me on is when a man sends me money.
Like, I feel the moisture between my legs when the man sends me money.
I'm like, oh my God, it's go time.
You actually sent it?
Listen to the Good Mom's Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network.
The I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you go to find your podcast.
Hey, bro, you know, all the two of a day sign.
You're out.
You're crazy.
You're out.
No, I don't need that little one.
Yeah.
All them up.
All up.
They're online, 85 Southshow.
Show.
Yes.
While all the tour days here.
I'm tired of my fuck and ask me, where can I get the tickets.
Bitch, they're not in my pocket.
Right.
All the way.
And these are the shows that we're going to do as long as the world stay open.
So get your tickets.
So if the world open, then we're going to come.
And if it closed, you already got your tickets.
So we're going to come when they open back up.
Yeah, we're going to come to your house.
All the way.
Tell them what we are.
Hey, look.
August, we're in Greenville, South Carolina at the Bon Secule Wells and Center.
Uh-huh, talking shit.
Bond Secure.
Then, August 14th, we're being Fayetteville, North Carolina at the Crown Colisee.
Then get what?
What?
Get what we're going?
Where?
To the body, mother now.
September 11th, show little Jacksonville, Florida, and the Bostar.
The Bistar.
Then you know what we're going?
What we're going?
To the west side.
No.
Wait, the top of the west side.
The North Coast, man.
All the way.
Seattle, Washington.
Put him on the glass.
Home of, Baby got back.
certain mix of lap
Seattle, Washington
we at the
Wai Moon Theater
That's October 1st
Then October 2nd
We're in Sacramento
Going back to the set time
And then
That's at the Memorial Auditorium
Yeah
Then 1029
We're back at the bottom of the map
Like D.C. said
Tallahassee
Tallahassee
Yeah, I mean
We at the Donald Tucker
Civic Center
That's October 29
That's October 29
That's October 29
October 29
October
Then on November
We got some days then too
Where we're going?
November 5th
North Charleston South
Carolina.
Show did.
North Charleston, Collison.
That was he it?
Then we got it.
Then we got it.
We're going to get no break.
What we're going?
Greenboro, North Carolina.
Greenboro, North Carolina at the Greensboro Coliseum.
Y'all better sell that out because I live.
They couldn't come up with a night before.
Every time y'all see me in Greensboro, y'all be like,
When y' y'all are coming to Greenboro.
Y'all don't fuck with us?
Y'all don't fuck with Greenboro?
Yes.
116, I expect to see all y'all to be coming up to me in four seasons mall at the show.
So please.
116.
Greensboro Colisein.
Bro.
Do what?
Damn, right.
No more.
What are you doing?
Bro, ain't know the Atlanta.
They're gonna keep asking us about Atlanta.
Oh.
Don't even tell them, man.
Nah, yeah.
Just go to 85 Southshow.
Yeah, don't tell them.
Don't tell them.
Don't tell them.
We just moon walking on you, host.
Yeah, you did.
I don't know who's going to pick that shit up.
This is it for now.
This is it for now.
But if y'all buy these chicken.
Let them know you mean business.
Let them.
Y'all buy these tickets.
We don't put some hard dates on that.
Throwing those.
Hey, you want some more gas to throw him down him.
Hey, buy them tickets, man.
We're not playing with y'all.
We mean this.
We'll do it live.
We'll do it live.
We'll do it live.
But shout out to Nick.
Like, don't, the audition shit was, it was, you know, tedious, whatever.
But he gave me the platform to, to be where I am today.
Like, I've said that publicly.
I've said that in his face.
I said it on wild.
And I've said it.
I've never.
shied away from giving Nick his flowers.
And I never will.
It ain't never got shit to do with him.
Bringing back to what I was saying,
it's never a personal thing.
Yeah, that's the part about it.
There's other decision makers involved.
That's the part about it.
Well, you just be like, who said that?
And they'd be like, uh-oh.
Because on some real-n-knit-knit.
That's my frustration.
It's don't nobody know shit.
On some real-nigger shit, you can't tell you where they came.
Yeah, they can't tell you where this shit came from.
Well, they said, who said that?
Point them out to me.
Right.
I want to talk to that person that said that,
and they don't do that in Hollywood.
They passed a buck.
They don't know.
No, no, no.
Well, Carlos, you need to calm down.
I don't.
You need to calm down.
Just be, just be, look, it's all going to be good.
It's not, though.
Who the fuck said it, though?
But they won't.
Like, they won't even tell me who fired me.
They're still there.
I know.
I still probably see them every day.
Damn, that's crazy.
It's part of the game.
Yeah.
The same motherfuckers who don't want you there.
I got to be with you every day.
Make them sick.
That's why when I be having fun, I'd be having extra fun.
I don't get a fuck of what it is.
It's like, I don't give a fucking fun if I'm laughing,
I'm extra laughing.
I'm extra as fuck.
Whatever it is, nigga,
you're going to see me in abundance.
Was people shocked when you came back?
Yeah, niggas was crying.
Not the motherfucking cast,
a nigga just worked there.
That's how I knew.
When I came and all them camp,
nigga, the cameramen, all you know the motherfucking camera men.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Loose, my man.
They was crying and shit.
I was like, niggins, it was white people crying.
Damn.
Just their favorite nigga.
That's hard.
That's okay, man.
But you flipped it, man.
You flipped the opportunity in the best way possible.
You, Chico, D.C., y'all really,
have built an empire
off of what that platform
provided for you.
Now, I don't know
I don't know the ends and outs
of your journey of the story,
but again, I'm just talking about
from what I'm seeing
from the outside looking in.
My journey, you listen to Rick Ross?
Yeah.
Rick Ross got the coldest line
about all this sum all this shit.
Oh, mm-mm.
I would always tell my niggas,
but ain't nobody to listen.
That's how you sum it up, Mola
Nyes got a line
He said, I got no game
It's just some bitches
Understand my story
Let it sit
You don't listen to nobody
I thought this nigga had one too
I had nothing
I'm like, damn
That was deep
He got no game
I'm still thinking about
When I didn't get the $1,000
On MTV
When they said cut
I thought this money was mine
You didn't get the money
What happened?
They was like, I had it in my hand.
I was like, I got my $1,000.
And they was like, eh, cut.
They tried to grab it.
I'm like, no, we're going to give a check.
I'm like, no, it's over.
He's like, no.
We was tugging for that shit for like a solid minute.
And then they was like, it took like 180 days.
Yeah.
Damn.
I'm like, why it takes on money for $1,000?
I don't know.
That show was bullshit.
They're good for holding the money in the pipeline.
That's Hollywood, no.
That's when I learned a business side.
Yeah, you ask what job I get all,
Every job, every one of them.
Yeah, I don't get fuck what it is, nigga.
I thought all of them was the one.
But now that I see, you gotta have a whole bunch of little ones
and then get a big one.
But you never can't tell, which is gonna be that one.
You think something's gonna be little,
and then that shit blow the fuck up.
You never know.
I'm talking about the one that the people
who are making the movie gonna believe
gonna be the big one, where it's like some nice money up front.
It ain't like some comeback money
where you can get booked off some appearances.
and shit. I'm talking about it.
Fuck what the people think is the one.
The one that's the one for me.
That big ass check.
I mean, that movie was terrible.
I'm like, I made $17 million.
That's the one.
Right.
Yeah.
You know that movie like there's some bullshit,
but it's like you get a good deal on the back end
and then, like you said, the shit that nobody
expected it to be the shit.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Next thing you know, you're in the notebook too,
crying and dancing with some white dude.
You're the most well-known nigga ever.
Yeah, that's it.
That back end be lovely, though.
Yeah.
I love that, yeah.
Don't pay me shit up front.
Give me back-in point.
I ain't sticking the ground long.
I'm gonna hit me a lick and get the fuck on.
I'm not even gonna give the industry a chance to not like me.
I'm leaving.
What's that number on that there?
Niggins about $20 million.
I'm going to Mississippi.
You're never here from me again.
You're fucking right.
I'm desperate.
Pay the taxes.
I'm out.
I don't believe you, though.
I'm telling you.
I'm not staying.
You may not stay in the traditional industry,
but I see you being on some Chappelle shit.
You're going to get a shitload of land in Mississippi.
You're right.
And you're going to have a gang of shows.
You're going to bring niggas out there.
I am.
And do it on your term.
They got to come see me.
$20 million, you own Mississippi, niggas.
No.
Half a, okay.
Do you understand that isn't even a lot of money?
It's an old white lady in Mississippi with $20 million.
I get that.
Because she collects shopping bags.
Nah, she's just been rich the whole life.
She wants to collect on the bottles for 15 cents, 20 million.
I'm gonna get me a couple of ems out of this game, then I'm a dipper.
I'm gonna just move to my land and get fat.
Give me a dog in a lady with some nice tetties.
I'm out of here.
Fuck this shit.
I'm still in this table when I leave.
I'm gonna get you one if you want one.
Yeah, I'll have that nigga send it to you.
I'm need that.
This shit dope, man.
Oh yeah, this is a black orange, right?
Black?
Yeah.
What type of teeth is, though?
Dolly pardon teeters?
Nah.
It's too big.
Dali partner has it.
That's the wrong color.
No, yeah, exactly.
I'm talking about, I don't know.
I think the ones that last the longest be like them church-lady tithers.
We know you melanated.
Yeah.
Who is black, who is a black woman with famous tithes?
There's a lot of black women with famous tiths.
Pam Greer.
Poxy Brown.
Fam girl tits.
Known for tithes?
Yeah.
Pam Grimmoth for face.
I ain't never thought.
No, it's a boxy.
Big Tiddy.
Nica, go watch coffee tonight.
Dali Panty, y'all know that's Titties.
You can go watch coffee tonight.
Are you trying to say who the most famous black Tills?
Jack-O-Bives and Jackie Brown.
She was old in Jackie Brown.
Who is the most famous black woman known for Titties?
Dallie Park right now?
Right now?
And no, period.
I never know.
Aretha Franklin.
Yes, she is.
Yes, she is.
She knows.
When you think of Rita Franklin, you don't think Tities.
When I was labeled.
When I was labeled.
He'd be like,
I'm thinking, Jill Scott got the title right now.
And then we saw him.
I think Jill got the title right now.
She got nice titties, too.
Shout to Jill.
Queen Latifah had him for a minute.
No one has been labeled.
No black woman has been labeled as the titty woman.
Because they told us to stop.
Remember, they said we was over sexualizing the women.
So then we could really-
So Tally has the crown.
Right.
As soon as you said, Dr. Parton, Tittis.
That's too big.
But Foxy brand.
Exactly.
See, look, you just said too big.
Titties.
Mm-hmm.
Foxy Brown, you're saying, oh, she's fine.
That's just an ideal woman, shaping everything.
Jill Scott, I can give you that one.
I can give you that one a little bit,
but still Jill Scott and off her face.
I'm still trying to think, did we overlook somebody?
Queen of TV, there got to be living single Queen of TV.
I think the Queen Latifah Titty's, I think when she played Bessie.
Yeah, she pulled them out, and then it's like, mm-hmm.
No, nobody like that.
I never disrespect them Titties, but.
I feel like they're nicer Titties.
It just wasn't a good scene for the Titty.
I don't think that, I think those, there was a,
as good as they was going to get.
That's how you make your titty's on a hot summer day.
You don't want to take a picture then.
You stand in front of the feet,
you're trying to quit your tits off.
You might lift them.
Not saying nothing was wrong with them tities,
but those are not the ones that they led me to believe they was going to be.
I was deceived.
She had nice nipples.
They was cool,
but,
you know.
Those are real titties.
My tithes don't sit up.
And I'm not mad at that.
I don't give a fuck if your tits,
if your tits look like torpedoes,
just show up with what I expected you to have.
Like,
what you love.
led me up to believe.
Those tithes that she had in those movies,
those weren't Cadesia's tities.
Those was the other ones.
I didn't, you brought it up.
Those just set it off, tities. Yeah.
What are you from?
I heard it.
You don't know, Mom,
she'd just be saying a lot of wild shit, man.
That's why I love her.
She just be saying any fucking thing.
She got the world saying,
The bad thing, mathing.
The what?
You need a pussy pap ready.
The what?
You know how you're going to have a pap smear?
Right.
Well, I'd never been, but...
So now the cat's a bit furry.
Okay.
He'd be a little sweaty.
You weren't ready for the pat.
You ain't show up before.
Right, because I would have a pap shower.
You had a full day in the humid Philly streets,
and you wouldn't get your pap after that?
And I came here for a regular dog.
That was his name talking about a pap.
Right.
So you got to open up that.
But I'm still going to let you do the pat
because you ain't ready to play me like this pussy stain.
Right.
Cause it down.
Goodness gracious.
It's tough.
It's tough.
It's tough.
Yeah.
It's a little twang, too.
It's a little twang, too.
It smelled like an underarm pit after a gym workout.
Whoa.
No.
Man, I drink water and shit.
Yeah, but after a long, sweaty, humid day, I've been, I know Philly.
Philly humid is fucked.
A lot of walking.
It's a lot of that.
It's a lot of incubation that's going on in your pussy meat.
And so...
There's a lot of black streaks sun.
You could drink all the water you want, but that sweat and that salt,
It's going to create
motherfucking spam in your pants.
I like to call it twing.
You like to call it what you want,
but it's going to knock a nigga out.
Tomato tomato.
Noggin's got a rough out there.
That's just tart.
When you say tar, when a woman says tar,
you got to be like,
fuck it, let's go.
Exactly.
You're with it.
But you got a thing.
It's a little hesitation.
But it's like,
fucking, come on.
You're not turning out.
It is what it is.
It is what it is.
Well, Tart is after you lead the club
Like, y'all, I've been dancing on each other all night
You're gonna pop it
For sure
But as a man, we don't want to hear that
That's why, like, when you say tart
You'd be like, chill, like, chill
You'd be fucking, you keep your nose up
Like, when you say tart, you're like, come on, man
You still popping after she says tart
Exactly, but I'm gonna think about it
Like, it's gonna be a quick thing
It's gonna be like, fuck it, let's go
You could have did without the Tart comic
To sum it up
But you're a real street nigga
She's smoking a black
He knows, he danced
So he's been in the club dancing with a chick.
I know, we've been sweating, sweating,
and then we leave and we get it popping.
But if I know that her pussy don't stink
on a regular basis, but you're right.
That nigga, I've been dancing with it.
Damn, bro, you do know.
I'm gonna dance with a lot of women.
And that pussy's-
You ever dance to get it with her ass?
Don't why you dance-ets?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dancing nays got it easy, bro.
When do y'all come?
come up with routines.
Because dance and niggas just show up with a dance,
like, nigga, when y'all breakfast this shit?
Yeah, niggas gather in the garage,
in the fucking hallway.
So the niggas be having a secret means and be like,
all right, niggins, you do this, you do this.
Then I'm gonna pass it to you.
After that movie, oh, you went there?
All right, niggum, I'm about to go here.
Can you break dance?
I do it all.
Spend on your head, though.
All of that shit.
I mean, not anymore.
But you do realize that we live in a time
where you can make money
just going to people's wedding and dancing.
Facts.
You know how many fans you got?
Like, eighth, bro.
Like, the reception is gonna be crazy.
How much to get you to come and fucking battle me?
In front of my wife?
In front of my wife.
Dude, I got 15 grand.
Her pop's fucking loaded, man.
Just come to the wedding.
Fucking battle me.
It's all I want.
And then y'all come up with a routine and shit is.
Oh, well, that's not a routine.
You just give me that 15 and I'll come smoke you real quick.
You take this shit serious.
You're not going to let the nigger win on this special day.
You have no idea how you're putting the dancing niggas are for real, for real, indescated.
It's too competitive, nigger.
I can't let you...
You gotta beat me for real in your tucks.
Pop, like me, nigg.
You gotta beat me.
nigga, you're paying me 15.
I'm going to take the 15.
I'm going to eat your food,
and then I'm going to beat you in the battle.
So what's the one song, like, dance?
What's your song that you can't resist?
Like, I got to dance.
Just begun, Jimmy Castor.
Who?
Who?
Play a DJ.
Who the fuck?
Who the fuck?
Somebody played Jimmy Castro and just begun.
And you'll understand what I'm talking about.
Y'all young motherfuckers in here.
Y'all don't know shit.
That's not.
When y'all don't get him out in the 50s?
But look, here's the thing, though.
I said some mystical shit, y'all have been like,
oh, nigga, yeah.
Chuck Barry.
But that's sound like, uh.
Jimmy Castor.
Long time coming.
Twist.
They played that on a hundred commercial.
Play that shit and see what happened.
Play this song, let's get this thing on.
Have the ligners that don't know it's going to get up and be like,
oh, shit.
Turn that shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, there's some breakdancing shit.
Turn it up, turn it up.
Oh, he's like nothing.
Oh, he said, no.
Who is this fucking table?
And that's some cardboard and shit.
I stand in the back like this.
This is what rap first came out.
This thing is telling his age.
All right, that's enough.
We can't play the old shit.
We're gonna get flagged.
Jimmy Castle's suit the shit out of us.
I want every fucking damn.
Nobody told him to make my song a rap song anyway.
What is that jazz?
He a nigga.
It's a funk song.
That's funk.
That sounds like a B-roll of a dope movie.
When they're going through packing shit.
Oh, it's been in all of them.
It sounds like beats shoot-hop.
It's been in all of them.
That song, Legitler.
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Tell me about a legendary dance battle you had.
We don't get to hear a lot.
lot of these stories.
It was one in
Raleigh, North Carolina.
Okay.
Well, me and my boys almost died
because of the battle.
That was too dark,
man, hold on, wait a minute.
No, you got to hear why is legendary, though.
Okay, bet.
So we three niggas,
the Apollo footage,
the same three niggas, me and the twins,
we went to Raleigh,
because at the time, that's when
you knew who was who
in different cities and shit.
Yeah.
So you know who the crews were,
or you knew who had dope nans,
So we was out in Raleigh, hanging out with some chicks,
and they was like, yo, let's go to the club.
We was like, yeah, we need to go to the club.
We want to see who y'all dancers are.
So anyway, we're in the club, and the club looked a lot like this,
but times a hundred.
There's niggas is, you know, a little more gold and shit,
change and shit, it was a lot of that.
And so we're in the club all night.
We're with these chicks, but we would break off,
and we start cyphering.
We dancing.
We're doing all that shit.
You're mad at you in the club.
There's three niggas on three different sides of the club.
Doing flips.
Doing flips.
It's a lot of competition.
With M.C. Hammer shoes with silver tips on.
No, we ain't had this.
We couldn't, we couldn't dancing now.
They're too slippery.
I couldn't do that shit.
So you killing them.
You were doing back clips in some motion.
You know, when you start dancing,
everybody form a big ass circle.
So we, we in nay town, we in a club,
we ain't never been here before.
So we was already taking a risk doing that shit.
And so literally, the song, the same song we danced to on Apollo is called Hot Music by Soho.
The DJ put this shit on.
This is like two hours into the club night.
DJ put this shit on.
We literally see the whole club follow these other three niggots in a wave.
They came right over to us.
So they've been plotting that shit all night.
So the nigga dancing and shit, he, you know, one nigga do a quick flip and land in a split.
and the twins are self-taught gymnasts.
They nigger gymnasts.
They used to flip it off their mama house.
Self-taught.
So these niggas looked at each other and laughed.
And one of the twins start flipping in one place.
Like he just kept rotating handspring.
Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.
11 times.
Bop, wow, wow.
In front of this nigger.
We started beating these niggas so bad,
they were sitting Indian-style in the circle,
watching us, with a bunch of thug niggas behind them.
The thub niggas
was mad that they niggas
was sitting down.
They was like, man, get out there
and get these niggas.
So one of them,
the twin is out there dancing.
One of them
starts to swing on the twin.
The twin
on some Mayweather shit,
he didn't even see the nigga.
He's bobbing him and dancing.
You mean to tell me this nigga
out danced a nigger punching
at him?
You may be trying to hit the nigga out of anger
and this nigga
and this nigga,
and this nigga,
He didn't even know he's fighting.
Man, what the fuck is going?
He missed him every swing.
Talent.
So I see the shit, and I'm like, oh, fuck, it's about to go down.
We're feeling to die.
So out of nowhere, I Bruce Leroy kicked this nigga in the back.
The twin?
No, I kicked the nigga that's trying to punch him.
Because to me, I'm like, oh, we're in a fight now.
Because he's swinging.
Somebody going to swing on me next.
Well, I kicked this nigga to back, and he went like this.
And I see all the niggas in the back taking these shit on.
And then security came and, you know, we lived, but it almost, it could have got dicey.
Nick, out of all the stories I ever heard about some niggas dancing, I ain't never heard death being involved.
Did this one never stop pop-blocking or did he pop-lock?
That nigga was still back-flipping why this whole shit was going on.
Did he like, moonwalk out there, John?
Nah, nah, we had to get security.
And I backed up against the wall
because I was like, if it's gonna come at me,
I don't want nobody to.
Yeah, yeah, I was like,
that's the coldest part about the internet.
Somebody in the comments is gonna be like,
I was at the club that night.
Yeah, so here to go.
I was gonna have a club name and everything.
That was club ecstasy.
That best used to be raw.
And the niggie came in that dancing real good,
got their ass whoop.
No, it really went down like that.
It sounds far-fetched, but we lived through that shit.
And that day was known for killing niggas up there.
I believe it.
Live the pop like another day.
This is a good one.
Live the pop like another day.
North Carolina, niggins are favorite.
What part of North Carolina that was?
Raleigh.
Raleigh.
They're rowing Carolina.
They're rowing.
They're rowing.
They're real niggas.
They're real niggas.
They're real niggas.
They always be real.
I fucks with North Carolina in the real.
There's some good-ass food up there.
It's that barbecue shit that I like.
They got good barbecue at the airport in there.
That's the best shit in there, bitch.
They do.
That's Charlotte Airport?
Man, that's a barbecue spot for your head.
The barbecue spot at that Charlotte Airport need to move to Atlanta.
That airport is right for sure.
I fucks with that shit.
You get that barbecue and you go sit in one of the rocket chairs.
rocking chairs.
You got them right.
Eat like you on the front porch.
Big white rocking chairs in the window.
You think so?
You're just trying to find
any reason not to like it, Landa, and that's
some bullshit.
I order macaroni and cheese
or cauliflower and cheese.
You can't eat everybody macaroni.
You know that?
You think you're just going, just because this is a black
city, you could just pull up eating people macaroni.
Can't you everybody right?
No, it don't work like that,
Mono.
Just like you probably can't eat everybody
cheese steak.
Exactly.
That's a good point.
What's your favorite cheese steak place in Philly?
The poppy store, like hood stores.
Puerto Ricans, a little bit.
So it ain't none of the chains.
See?
Hell no.
That's all right.
Ishtribibles and all the tourist spots.
Right.
You got a South Philly cheese and you got a North Philly cheese.
South Philly is Whiz, that orange cheese.
North Philly is white cheese.
Yeah.
Mayanase.
So what's better for you?
The white or the yellow cheese?
North Philly, for sure.
I'm from North Philly.
Okay.
Philadelphia is a rough city.
It's a great city.
It's rough.
They don't be bullshit, but they show a lot of love.
Yeah.
Philadelphia is a warrior.
They fuck with you.
They fuck with you.
Hell yeah.
I felt so out of place one time I went to Philly.
I was in the barbershop and I was sitting there.
The niggas was cutting my shit.
And then everybody in the barbershop started praying.
I was just sitting there.
There's a lot of Muslims in Philly.
I'm talking about the entire barbershop.
The nigga, everybody.
Muslims.
All of them. I was like,
y'all niggas ain't even going to ask me
if I want to, all right.
Fuck me then.
They got that beer, they might have thought
you was going to get down there with them.
They did, and I felt like they kind of was disappointed
that I didn't, me.
Sure.
The whole mood changed after that.
Yeah, look at this nigga.
Man, you down here working?
In Atlanta, yeah, yeah.
Comedy theater all weekend.
How's that, how's that,
how's Atlanta
like respond after seeing the
nigga they've been watching for so long
because you know this city
a lot of the niggas come here
and they can just do the first part and then
they leave like bro you're like that's
the fans you want to be in front of the rough
crowd right I think
we didn't got a bad rep though
no it's always love yeah it's always love
I don't play Atlanta that
often you should every time
no I'm about to be doing more but
this is one of them markets where it's like if they
fuck with you they let you rock
No, 100%.
Anytime I'm here, I get love
wherever I go.
And I've been coming to Atlanta since
since I left North Carolina.
Who's your favorite?
Oh, 20 years.
What's your favorite city?
I love L.A.
That's why I live there.
I love L.A.
I love to visit New York.
I can't live in New York.
It's too fast-paced for me.
I'd be tired after like 6 hours in New York.
Because you didn't do 40 things
once you touch down.
I don't really do too much shit.
That's one thing.
about it. When I go to New York, I just, I give up in the middle. I was like, fuck, man.
Who got to walk again?
But I'm not going down all those fucking steps. We need to do everything we want.
It's a lot. It's a lot for me. It's a lot to do.
Of course, I'm from the South. I'm used to motherfuckers being that way. It's too much
motherfuckers for me. Atlanta's really fast. It looks like Philadelphia. It's a lot.
Yeah, the thing about Atlanta is everybody's moving. Ain't nobody really staying in one place too long.
In New York, that's a lot of niggins lingering.
A lot of lingering-ass niggins.
A lot of niggins walking in.
They're super aggressive.
That nigger, like, trying to fight me
because I wouldn't hit the weed.
If you hit the weed, turn it down,
he was really offended by that.
You don't want to hit my weed, ma'am?
They do get offended by that.
New York niggas get offended if you don't even buy their weed.
They'll just give it to you.
For sure.
Yo, I know you ain't want to fuck with me,
but I'm just saying, just take this on me.
No, nigger, relax.
Your bag dirty.
Never buy weed from a nigger if the bag dirty
Like if the bag looks like it's been
Handled too much
Your cellophane cloudy, dude
Yeah, I don't fuck with that
That mean he'd been trying to sell it for a long time
And anybody bought it
Y'all didn't get spoiled
Y'all out there with the medical weed and shit
That's shit then with the college
What? Some of it ain't
No, the good zai is from a felling
I think you just like hood niggins anyway, Mona.
So when you like hood niggas, they weed hit better.
Any excuse to go down there, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
You just like dangerous shit.
It's a hood-ass, nigga.
You ain't some other shit, I think, I'm just a hood-ass-a-ed-l-A-ggot just good weed.
Just give me just the house.
It's hard to find.
Just give me the houseblood.
That shit hit to me.
I like the dispensary weed, though, because, like, a lot of niggas don't leave when you buy weed from.
What you're about to do?
Oh, this ain't that, bro.
Keep it moving, man.
Anytime you call the weed man, L.A.
They want to hang out and shit.
Y'all got some little cuties over here, huh?
Bro, we got enough for us.
Ain't nothing extra left over here.
Jay Wend, plenty of some pepip.
Man, you want him, Caprican, or water or something?
I'm good, man.
I'm sipping my little water.
What you want?
Capricon.
I know.
You wanted one, you just didn't want to say the shit.
I always be trying to act like they don't want to Capriza.
Hey, why don't sell Capri Sun by the gallon?
Who?
You're not listening.
What you say?
Water.
Oh.
I thought you had a big-ass water.
I just like free shit.
Oh.
They put, get my bag, y'all.
She try to clean that.
Bro, we're about to switch the Kool-Aid because we've been drinking Capri-sun too long and they ain't fucking with us.
Hell.
We're about to switch.
They can't see.
I saw a bitch on YouTube cut that open that was dutoo in it.
Doodoo in it.
What?
Don't believe that.
Google it.
What was?
It was brown shit inside of Capri's son.
Ain't shit in these.
You can't see.
This you can at the bottom.
These is doo-doo free.
Why I think they made the bottom clear?
Because of the doo-doo isn't.
Ain't no rats or nothing in this bitch.
Say that joke.
No roaches.
They want to fucking head.
My favorite city in Baltimore.
I fucking Baltimore.
Baltimore.
31st.
That's my first time of Baltimore.
You're doing stand-up?
What you doing?
Yeah, I'm doing stand-up.
For real?
Aw, shit.
I'm a comedian.
I'm gonna be in your town under 25th.
Really?
Where?
July 25 at the Met?
At the Met.
That's North Philly.
Atlanta got the best comedy crowds.
You think so?
But I think we've got watered down.
Like the old uptown days when they used to boo,
that was the best crowd.
That wasn't the best crowd.
You don't think so?
That was stressful.
Because I think if you made it, because if you made it, you was funny.
No.
They didn't mean you was funny.
They might have just been too tired to boo you because they didn't booed everybody.
I seen a lot of niggas didn't get booed, but a lot of the niggas didn't do good either.
I came up in them day.
Wait, so the crowd was just too tired for going in?
No, they were saving the boo.
The Atlanta crowd were like, who next?
No, I'm going to boo him.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
We got the nigga, we can really booed.
He ain't the worst.
He ain't the worst.
He ain't the worst.
He ain't the best.
But it's trust me, save your booed me.
You gonna need your energy for this next nigga.
Yeah, Uptown 5-59.
I got booed my second show.
Your second show?
Second show that we do.
Kind of be.
I haven't had a bad night yet.
Soul crusher.
Yeah.
That's scary for me.
I feel like I should have already.
What?
You having what?
Like had a really bad night.
Like when nobody laughs,
or they're not like, you know what I mean?
Like I've had times like to make them laugh,
like work at it.
But I haven't had a flop yet.
You gotta make these people.
You gotta make these people laugh.
You got to.
Them flops be coming, though, don't know.
Yeah, Gaelic, I think it's part of the game.
How long you've been doing it?
Three, four, you, three years.
Oh, yeah.
The flop.
Quick PSA for comedians.
If you get booed, leave.
Leave.
Well, like, walk off the stage.
Like, go home.
Like, if you're doing bad and you leave,
I promise won't nobody be mad at you.
I swear.
Like, drop the mics.
Because they want you to leave.
No, no, no, drop the mic.
Like, committees will do bad, and then they'll come, sit,
Like, stand next to you, and it's like bad energy.
It's like, get away, bro.
If you bomb, and stay away from people.
Stop.
Like, get away.
You can feel a trap in them.
Don't go, don't bomb and go away back over there with the comedians who ain't went on yet.
No, no, finish a set.
No, no, finish a set.
No, no.
Get the fuck on.
Because they don't want you on the same.
Do you curse them out first?
No, they don't like you.
You cocked bitch.
Tell you that.
I have it planned out already.
If you're feeling it, if you're feeling it, if you feeling it.
I always bring a cousin.
You could do a Bill Bird.
Just in case he got to back me out that bitch.
Bill Bird did that one time.
He was getting booed and he just started cussing everybody out and they started laughing.
That's my plea.
But everybody can't do that.
I can fight a little bit.
And he white.
He white.
But you know the thing, I like to see comedians bomb.
You're an evil nigger.
Because I know how hard this shit is.
It's hard as fuck and everybody thinks they can do it.
When I see a nigga dying, I go get front row.
I like to just watch them die.
Watch them die.
Every nigga or the niggins that think that's like when the niggas dying like I can stop me
I got to see this nigga die and then when they get off a stage and they start talking to
you. It's like a ghost that's talking to you.
Damn it's cold bloody.
That's the evil side.
Every comedian nobody, they like to see a nigga because it's hard, bro.
This shit is hard.
When I see a comedian bomb and that shit crush my spirit, I'd be like, Trey yelling in the alley.
Yeah, that's how I feel.
I don't want to see that for nobody.
I get secondhand embarrassing.
Yeah, I start sweating for them.
Yeah, exactly.
Especially if there's one of the dog, one of the-
Now, when it's my, when it's a comedian I know, I'm like, damn.
That makes it worse.
No, no, don't back track.
You like watching your homies, now.
I don't like watching my homies, like, watch your homies,
I like watching comedians that think they're nice and then they go die.
Oh, okay.
Because we get a lot of that on the road, like,
and I'm, I'm known for the giving niggas the mic.
Like, they'd be like, yo, I'm a comedian, I'm like,
oh word.
High five.
Damn. Get that.
Quick five.
Could they be talking?
Could they be talking?
You can die in every time, right?
You can die in three minutes.
You can die really in two minutes.
You don't think almost every time take the mic, right?
Yeah.
And I think we've only had like maybe one or two that was nice.
Everyone else.
Yeah, you got to let them get them guests back.
You don't want them niggas to blow up and be like,
yeah, call those bitch ass.
Nick ain't gonna let me on.
Now I'm running shit.
Her ass nigger try to stop my career.
to stop my career, man.
You know that's going on the ground for sure.
Nah, for sure.
Oh, I used to host comedy shows
nigger can come up and bomb
and don't have one complete joke
and get off stage and bomb it was like,
yeah, that nigga Carlos ain't bringing me up right, man.
He ain't tell him who I was.
He ain't say nothing, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Then the nigga had did two minutes
right before I came up, you feel?
So he had, I'm on a whole other vibe.
You feel, man, then mixed that shit
with what he said,
Then he ain't bring me up right.
And the DJ ain't played my song.
Then the mic was fucking up a little bit.
So, man.
All them bomb excuses.
All the bomb excuses.
This is the funniest shit to hear when the nigga bombing though.
Them niggas handed me a right-handed mic, man.
Man, when the nigger bombed...
Hey, when the nigger bombed, this is what the nigger always say.
It don't matter who it is.
The niggie be bombing.
A nigga always said, yeah, man.
I just came up here to show my nigg call her some love, man.
Man, nigga, no you fuck you, dude.
I just came.
I just came up with me to show y'all some love, man.
What are you going to think about the social media comics?
Like, people that came up.
This the thing about it, leave them alone.
Yeah, leave them alone.
That's, you can't, it's like,
somebody is telling all the social media comedians
that they have to go do stand-up comedy.
If you're not a stand-up comedian, don't let nobody talk you into that shit.
But they're going for the bag.
I don't blame them though
I don't blame me either
because some of them are making a lot of money
They're stupid then
These people got in fucking demand
If people want to book you and you do
Sketches on social media
The bitches need to know that you come in and do
sketches then
Shoot sketches in front of these motherfuckers
And put everybody who was going to boo you
In the goddamn sketch
Don't let these people book you for an hour
Of comedy if you ain't never did a minute of comedy
I show up at these motherfucking schools
With a production team
Yeah we shoot sketches this whole time
I'm gonna need these people over here
to put these black t-shirt in calls.
And y'all, okay, this was your own.
Niggas, dude, what the fuck you've been doing?
Facts.
Why would you goddamn let somebody talk you out to hustle
that you've been on?
Facts, man, I'll go to the, I'll book these motherfucking colleges
and be like, look, I don't do no stand-up comedy.
But I will come and be on campus for two hours
and I'll shoot some schedules with some students and I'm out there, bitch.
Because this is going to get more promotion that way
if the shit go my way, then if somebody say,
man, that nigga came to school and bom!
Like, no, that nigga came to the school
and turned this bitch up
and we went viral,
names.
Why wouldn't you?
Facts.
Fuck bad shit,
br, man.
I'm a stand-up comedian.
I'm not about to let these people say,
okay, Lose,
we need you for the homecoming fashion show.
Don't curse.
I mean, fuck all that.
I ain't fuck that.
Don't book me if I,
you're watching the shit that I say.
Why would you bring me somewhere
that you don't want me to say this shit?
I like the cut.
Stop hiring comedians and trying to tell them what to say.
Hey, could you watch the bitch?
What could not be something in the bitch is in here?
I mean, we're fine with the language.
Just don't call them hos.
They fucking ain't they?
There's kids in the show.
They're holding babies.
Fuck out of it.
I feel like I'm a lover of comedy.
I feel like the comedians I watch coming up
told jokes in little clubs for 15, 10 years, whatever.
People like me, I went viral from the beginning.
So it's like, if I say, yo, me, me,
in Baltimore. They're going to meet me in Baltimore.
Yeah, but you've got to do something when they get that.
Here's a thing.
You get booked for 45 minutes.
You got to do a leak.
That's the contract.
Comedy clubs is 45 minutes.
That's the minimum.
Or at least tell these motherfuckers.
Hey, keep it real.
I don't do no stand-up comedy.
I need it.
Forty-five minutes of comedy.
I'm fucking you suck.
Take a picture with everybody in that day.
Getting booked.
Give them a reason to love you.
Get booked to issues.
What's that, though?
There's two different issues.
I'm throwing it's for me, like the street.
So I'm getting the venue, I'm getting the security.
It's my shit.
I'm booked myself.
Right.
Because niggas ain't calling me.
Right.
I did the punchline in Philadelphia.
I fucked the punchline up.
Right.
Them niggas wasn't going to call me.
You don't need them to call you.
Comedy is male-dominated.
They're not going to call you.
And then on top of it being, I'm out male-dominated.
I'm a viral comedian.
So the comedians that's local in me, they're not inviting or one.
And I try.
Exactly.
They're not supposed to.
You know how many of these people who you think is supposed to call you don't have no idea you
gonna wanna do comments.
Fuck call you.
I'm saying, I have came and really been like,
yo, when feeling of yours, you're a legend here,
I wanna open for you.
You should have told him that.
You fucked up when you told him that.
You're really from Philadelphia.
Yeah, you hear it.
It's sound like freeway.
Like, sometimes you be talking about things
you're gonna give her, like, cut the beat, yo.
Ain't nobody gonna just be like,
you wanna open for me, for real?
Like I can't, some guy,
snatch the dishes out of your kitchen.
You're hopeful?
Go out there and do your best,
and I'll do the rest.
But here's what I say about social media
comedians. Because it's two different things. I agree
with y'all. Like, if you're not a stand-up comedian
and you get booked to do
an hour in the headline, you
should be smart enough to not do that.
You should do what you're strong as that.
You should take $1,000 of that
deposit money that they sent you and
hire a nigga to write you some material.
No, but like, some of them do, though. Some of them do.
But here's the thing. But still, you're not going to be
nice. Even with somebody writing your shit,
it takes some seasoning to
be on stage for a whole hour.
But at least you will have enough shit to say
when you get there.
If you remember it,
because you're going to be so goddamn nervous
because you're not conditioning for it.
Right.
It's like having a boxer come in,
a professional boxer show you all the punches,
but you get in that goddamn ring
for the first 30 seconds,
you're going to be gassed.
Oh, I don't advocate for none of these nudes
to get them to manipulate the coming the game.
What I'm going to say is this.
Look, there's also the question
that I always get, like,
do you think the social media comedians are funny?
And my thing is,
yeah,
There's some who are funny and there's some who are not
The same way coming up in the Deft Comedy Jam era
Whatever era you're in whoever you know
We're supposed to be the realist in the traditional era
There was garbage niggas then too
And there was a great niggas then too
So every era whatever platform you use
There's going to be the good and the bad
You know if hip hop niggas if if hip hop niggas would have stopped
When the 70s band niggas like nah y'all just gonna be a fad
Y'all cheating and y'all using our music
and y'all just spitting words over it
and that's not real music
if they were to listen to that shit
and got discouraged and stopped doing it
we wouldn't be sitting here
we wouldn't be sitting in this room
because hip hop
even though they didn't like it at the time
now they're getting with it now they're you know
real musicians laugh at them too
they're real musicians like man
I'm gonna stand up comedian and sometimes I'd be
I'd be wanting to do some shit too
because them niggas look like they're having a lot of fun
in them sketches they be sucking real titties
and shit they be having the only
And some of them are repetitive and boring.
They'd be slapping girls on the booze or some bad ones, yeah.
But I don't like no play.
They'd be getting to touch real boys and them sketches, right?
I actually like to do stand-up.
Fuck them sketches.
That was the way for them.
But the stand-up comedian would be like, fuck them sketches.
They didn't even got no punch last.
See, I do sketch.
I do sketch, too.
They just got a nice, pretty visual.
I do it all.
That's the thing, Los, I'd be like, fuck them sketches.
Fuck them.
But you gotta, but it's like, it's almost like the new, it's the new one.
But see, they do skits.
They do skits, yeah.
Like, we play basketball.
They're baby sketches.
I'm going to live in color schools, so we do
sketches.
There you go.
Minutes long.
Yeah, that's why me and Spice will do a whole out.
Wait, wait, wait, so what's the real difference between a skit and a skit?
A skit is a baby.
You do this baby, exactly.
It's like the, okay.
And it's typically not as funny.
Yeah, exactly.
It's not as well thought out.
For me to do a sketch, I needed to be creative.
I need to be the, people call me sketches.
I have to be the baby mom.
We're going to knock shit off on the shelf on Walmart,
and we're going to get put out.
Like, that's,
really what people bring in.
It's like for me, I needed to fit me.
I would have you be a lawyer or a doctor
or somebody respectable in the community.
With them same nails.
Yep, because it would be so unbelievably, believable.
You like them?
I'm scared of them, but I like them.
I feel like you could be in a movie.
It's like the bus drive with a big booty.
Like, they'll put you in a movie with some white people.
You're just going to have to be an aggressive,
black woman giving them life advice.
Like, look, look, bitch.
They like that.
Go get your man.
Exactly.
You take over.
You're being four movies doing this shit.
But that'll be, hey.
It'll be hard.
White people love aggressive black women in their face
trying to give them life advice.
And somebody got to get punched in the face.
Why do people love anything we do?
We set the tone for everything, the culture,
and we make things.
I'm about to find a way to manipulate racism to my advantage.
That's why when y'all talk about people,
the Big Wigs saying, no, how can the Big League say no?
We create the culture.
We control the culture.
I think things are changing in that way, is that?
They mind-trick you.
We gotta start tricking white people into doing shit that we don't even like just to see if they're going to really do it.
They're in control of the finance.
True.
But we gotta start doing some wilder shit is all I'm saying.
Like what?
Like, it's been our whole plot.
Like next winter, I feel like niggas is just dressed like cowboys.
The whole winter.
I'm talking about all the way down.
Unannounced, surprises.
And it just, then when white people started doing it, like we do, just stop doing this.
that shit all of a sudden.
They're like, boy, y'all,
lame to him wearing that goof-ass shit.
I like that.
I like that.
I like that.
Some motherfucking chicken hats or something.
Something outrageous so we can clearly
see you that they're stealing this shit
from us.
Nick, we start wearing chicken hats
and next day you look up,
Louis Vuitton chicken hats is $2,500.
It's just, I don't know,
but look at the bodies. Look at bodies.
Look at white women's bodies now.
Their lips, their hips,
they're late. Like, we already know.
But even our skinny women
And finally than they skinny women.
We can take, fuck all the plastic surgery women.
We'll take 100 skinny black women and put them up against 100 skinny white women.
No surgery, no makeup.
We still going to win.
For sure.
A thousand percent.
Hey, what's up, you man?
Carlos Miller of the 85 South Show, and I appreciate you checking out my guest.
Afeon, Crockett, Brandon Lewis, and Mona Love.
Oh, we're not through yet.
Click the link so you can check out part two of this interview with my special guest.
That's right.
And Link, part two.
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