The 85 South Show with Karlous Miller, DC Young Fly and Chico Bean - Affion Crockett in the trap! With Karlous Miller, Mona Love and Brandon Lewis! PART 2
Episode Date: August 7, 2021The legend Affion Crockett is in the trap with his homie Brandon Lewis and Karlous and Mona Love post up to hear stories and game from the legend Affion! You know they gonna talk about tiddays - but A...ffion also tells us how he got in the comedy game, tells us about his break dancing days and tells us his favorite impression to perform!GET LIVE SHOW TICKETSGREENVILLE, SC AUGUST 7thbit.ly/greenvilleghettolegendsFAYETTEVILLE AUGUST 14thbit.ly/fayettevilleghettolegendsThis is the coldest podcast!Hit Our Website for more info: https://www.85southshow.com/Get our custom merchandise: https://85apparelco.com/Subscribe To our Channel: bitly.com/85tubeWATCH KARLOUS' MILLER's COMEDY SPECIAL! https://vimeo.com/ondemand/karlousmil...FOLLOW THE CREWKARLOUS MILLER - https://www.facebook.com/karlousm/DCYOUNGFLY - https://www.facebook.com/DcYoungFly1/CHICO BEAN - https://www.facebook.com/OldSchoolFool/Director - JOE T. NEWMAN - www.ayoungplayer.comProducer CHAD OUBRE - https://www.instagram.com/chadoubre/Producer - LANCE CRAYTON - https://www.instagram.com/cat_corleone_/It's Jon - https://www.instagram.com/holaj_o_n/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is an I-Heart podcast.
I knew I wanted to obey and submit, but I didn't fully grasp for the rest of my life what that meant.
For My Heart Podcasts and Rococo Punch, this is The Turning, River Road.
In the woods of Minnesota, a cult leader married himself to 10 girls and forced them into a secret life of abuse.
But in 2014, the youngest escaped.
Listen to the Turning River Road.
road on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Join IHeart Radio and Sarah Spain in celebrating the one-year anniversary of IHart
Women's Sports.
With powerful interviews and insider analysis, our shows have connected fans with the heart
of women's sports.
In just one year, the network has launched 15 shows and built a community united by passion.
Podcasts that amplify the voices of women in sports.
Thank you for supporting IHeart Women's Sports and our founding sponsors, Elf Beauty, Capital
and Novartis.
Just open the free IHeart app
and search IHeard Women's Sports to listen now.
Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney,
the podcast where silence is broken
and stories are set free.
I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing
all new anonymous stories
that would challenge your perceptions
and give you new insight on the people around you.
Every Tuesday, make sure you listen
to Pretty Private from the Black Effect podcast network.
Tune in on the IHeart Radio app
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Hey, what's up, you man, Carlos Miller of the 85 South Show,
and I appreciate you checking out my guest,
Athe Young, Crockett, Brandon Lewis, and Mona Love.
Check out part two of this interview with my special guest.
That's right, part two.
I'd like me a little shit, too.
We've been thinking about it's not even the white man.
Who is it?
You don't even understand, bro.
America, if you fucking do the same shit
these white people doing, you'll be straight.
And what is that?
Nigel, any time you see a bunch of white people
doing some shit, do that.
Tick-Tong.
Whatever it is, nigga, do it.
We're not being American enough.
That's why we're not enjoying this shit.
White people don't wear their masks.
You don't then.
You know what I mean?
I'm going to be like, that's right, brother.
That's right.
Take their God damn mask off.
Just don't understand how this shit work.
I think we should start calling the police on that more, though.
Man.
When they walk by, I locked the door.
You got it locked the door.
They grew up in the park, call the police.
It's a bunch of people in this park, and they're passing around a ball.
Might be stuff of cocaine, but they don't comprehend that.
White people don't comprehend that.
I'm not talking about that.
You're a black person.
You'll never be able to call the police, so don't ever do that.
Nope.
Nope.
I'm just saying.
You just have to do shit to the white people anyway.
You just have to take advantage of what white people.
call freedoms.
Like you have to be, go get you a registered
gun license.
Join the NRA.
Buy you a truck.
Put you a big ass American flag out in front
of your house, man.
We'll get a Confederate one too.
Oh, yeah. That's the only way you're going to get
any piece in this bitch. You've got to be
American, bro. We ain't been
American enough.
We got to get, when white people
get mad about some shit, we got to show up mad
too. You're right.
Texas is hiring a motherfucker
And we need these credit
The only way
It's a loser fan
Who would flag the loser flag?
It doesn't make any sense
It don't matter
If you want to be
If you ain't leaving
Just do what the fuck they're doing
I'm not saying it's gonna make your life better
It's just gonna buy you some time
I'm gonna just stay a nigga
Stay a nigga
And they say I look white
They know I'm not white
They follow me around the store
They're gonna be over that white shit
In one minute
That can be across
Maybe from across the street.
Like, is she white?
Oh, she's clearly not.
Yes.
It ain't even white people who get this shit.
As soon as you open your mouth.
If I don't even open my mouth, my earrings are big.
It's over.
We just got to start taking advantage of this shit.
Well, no, they follow you because they're like, is she white?
And the baggers people are they mixed.
That's rude.
Why?
Because it is.
They think you mixed.
Say hello.
Before you say, you white.
They tension?
Yes, because you can see the fingerprint.
They do that.
They do that to me.
Hence the name don't call me white girl.
I'm 100% black.
I like you.
A hundred?
A hundred.
I have as much white in me as you have in you.
No, I don't have no white in you.
You got some white in you, it's impossible.
I ain't got no white.
No.
I got white.
Did you go on Ancestry.com?
You remember on Forrest's Girl?
When he was showing you all his ancestors that died in the war
and it was the same motherfucker over and over again,
that's what my family looked like.
A bunch of niggas my height, bald head.
And a granddad looked just like me.
So there's not a drug.
Drop of white than you.
First black man to own a horse in North Mississippi.
My great, great, granddaddy.
Stole it from a white man.
Got all kind of black history in my family.
You ever heard of a Jerry girl?
Yeah.
You don't know Jerry last name?
What?
Miller.
That's hard.
I'm a staple in black history, bro.
My great...
Jerry Miller.
My great, great, great-great-granddaddy was the first.
black man to put some house speakers in a car.
These random Negro facts.
Yeah, random Negro facts.
Hell yeah.
They had family marched with Dr. King, too, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Right there with him.
He's in the back, though.
My grandmother was squirted with a fire hydrant on Turner Street.
For real?
With a hydrant?
Yeah, they told their little asses to move, and they said,
sprayed them with the fire, and they flew.
Damn.
My great uncle sold some weed to a couple
of civil rights leaders.
He wouldn't tell me exactly which ones.
He just knew. He said when they used to come
to town that they used to hit him up and he'd bring
him to business. He was a nigga that down
knows up. He did.
In the Civil Rights Movement Arena.
Yeah. Right. They knew who to call.
My granddaddy told me he was selling weed since
the 50s.
Wow.
They called it hash back then.
Riefer.
Riefer.
They came rolled up
You get a couple blocks for $5 in the paper bag
He said joints was a dollar then
Yeah
Take me back
Probably with some bullshit
You don't remember Arizona
People like they don't remember that
Around 2004-tile 3 we smoked Arizona
It was only Hayes
And it was Arizona
That was y'all
We had
We had
He never smoked shit
He never smoked
He'd be dancing
That's what's up
So no smoking at all
You're just being dancing
Nah
He gonna live
forever. That man, dance, do karate,
one finger push-up.
He's the one who got everybody
on their flat-up. So you drink green shit,
wake up in the morning, you crunches.
Nah. I do drink green shit, though.
Okay. Keep me doing that shit where you have to
get on your elbows. But I...
Moly, what the fuck is wrong with you?
I'm not giving you nothing to this dick, okay?
You don't know how to hate handsome your way.
You already talked yourself out of this, Mauna.
You got random niggas cash apping you and shit
You're not ready for me
This thing I don't use microwaves
He don't?
He's smart because this shit's not good for you
He used that iPhone though
All the radiation is right there
Might as well warm your food up
While you're getting this shit
Right
This thing I don't use the microwave
He don't trust the government
And I don't blame him
You know how much patience you gotta have
To not use the microwave?
It ain't that goddamn long
Nick
That shit's all this hell
Toast the hubbing.
You got an air friar?
Not yet.
Do you not use a microwave
because of the radioactive shit?
Yeah.
Why am I going to swallow radiation?
Exactly.
Sure, we got phones.
Yeah, that's fucking us up to.
But it's on the outside.
Right.
And you're just going to welcome.
When you go to get an x-ray,
they put that big ass lid on your motherfucking air.
And if you're pregnant, you can't get it.
That's what I'm saying.
So you're going to eat the fucking radiation?
No, do I eat it?
I sit and over.
With some pasta sauce, nigga?
It's mixed into the pasta sauce.
Are you drinking and eating fucking...
I'm watching it too because I wait.
That's how I know when to take it out when it bubbles.
That shit be too hot.
That's how you know this shit killing you.
Like microwave gets shit.
You've never been to jail.
No, I ain't been to jail.
This is a good dude.
This is different for me.
You know what I mean?
No, he ain't never even been there now.
You made the grill cheese with the iron?
I made fucking deep dish pizza.
How long was you in that, mom?
I did a year.
Damn.
Twice.
You did a year twice?
I probably came and spoke to you in one of them prisons.
I was on a sixth in Market.
I used to come down there with Charlie Macon.
We was always in the juvenile prisons talking about it.
Now, she was in the big girl prison.
I was a grown-ass point, though.
You're young as far as.
Take the compliment, nigga.
How do you make that deep dish piece in there?
Right.
Listen, so you take tortillas, right?
Because you say you tortillas, and then if you get a little spicy beef sausages,
and then you take ketchup, and you mix that with sauce and a little sugar, that's your mariner.
So you do your first layer.
with your meat and the cheese
that you stole from the kitchen
cheddar, then you do another layer
you might do some fry onions, you know, put some veggies in there.
Who fucking get all these ingredients from them?
You're in prison.
I stole them out the kitchen because I worked there.
So you smuggling and everything.
I put adobe by the cat
to roll that bitch up on the elevator.
Okay.
And it was a good time, you know what I'm saying?
I hear you.
I'm not interested, but I hear you.
I've never, ever, ever in my life
been around so many fucking women.
and it was pretty terrible
but you know in jail a lot
people do the past time they fuck
especially in girl jail
especially to marry women
like if your wife's in prison
she writes you don't know whether
she's fucking some big woman named Bruce
because the women had beards there
you know what I mean
y'all look shocked
bro when the last time you heard
a female prison story
that's my first thing
just like two seconds ago
that was
that's the first and the last
people say you too pretty
Listen, people say, you're too pretty good job.
Well, you're laughing at you low-key trying to suck my dick just now.
I was definitely laughing.
You leave all the way below.
I'm that big of a fan.
I ain't that big of a fan, y'all.
It's a lot of pretty women in jail?
It's a lot of gorgeous.
I was in the right position, too ugly.
No.
Bro, this shit, wow.
Every time we try to have a nice little conversation.
I've seen a woman get fisted in jail.
No cap. It's jail. What else you're gonna do?
You fuck, you eat, you fuck, you eat.
Do a couple crunches.
You know what I mean?
Just passing time.
Bitches go to jail. Let's move on.
With a fisting.
You said, let's move in jail.
None of y'all know nobody's been to jail?
So, it's women in jail.
No.
Fishing each other.
I was in the same jail as little Kim.
Making deep dish pieces with stolen ingredients.
Also handmade dildos made out of pens, pads, and rubber gloves.
What?
You take pens and pencils as the base.
You wrapped them around with sanitary napkin, so it could be solved.
Then you take a rubber glove, put it on top, another one on the bottom,
and you have you a dildo, sir.
If you want to get fancy, you can make you a strap on her.
How is she going to fuck your wife?
Big would be married in jail, especially the women that have men.
Like, the men that come see her every weekend and shit,
she got a hickey, she said she broke out.
No, her fucking husband upstairs is giving her that shit.
Bruce, big Bruce.
My first cellie was like 350 pounds
She was from D.C.
And she was in me
She had both lockers filled
And she said you can't get a locker
But you're welcome to get whatever
And I needed you to hold me down sometimes
So I was sitting in front of the door
Why she fucked people
loudly
She got it made
Big Bruce is the motherfucking man
From D.C. Shout out to you
You watch this
She didn't try to fuck you?
No, she didn't. In jail
So I was like a family thing, girl jail.
So she was my dad.
And my dad did a lot of time in jail,
so I remember calling him, and I went on the phone with him.
And I'm like, Dad, something, something.
He's like, no, no, no, no, no, no,
don't call on them bitch's dad.
It was too late, she was already my dad.
So you called you a Sally dad?
That was my dad, nigga.
We had two lockers.
She ordered everything for the room.
And we just shared.
So how long you were in there?
A year.
And you didn't get fucked by nobody?
No, I never dated a woman yet.
I'm on my way.
It's close, Avion.
Mm-hmm.
That's not my name, but I mean, I hear-
She called the nigga Aron.
No, I did not.
Oh.
I said Avion.
Your name's not Avion?
No.
What is it?
A-fion.
Oh, it's A-fion.
Yeah.
So I used the F instead of a V.
Yeah, and there's never a V in that motherfucker.
A-Fee-ion.
I mean, I'm close.
I know your name, I know.
Yeah, I got you.
But you put a V in that, motherfucker, and that's not of that.
A-Fion.
I got it.
It's like calling this nigga Darlose Miller.
No way.
I don't go by that no more.
I used to go by Darlo's.
It's different.
Damn.
It's a different letter.
It's all good.
That thing is,
I just can't believe
these women is in that.
That's not bad women
want some dick.
They didn't have making ink pen dicks, me.
And they say,
we'll fuck anything.
For sure, ink pen dicks.
They get an inkpin dicks.
So they take a lot of sex.
It's a lot of sex in God jail, too,
but you're not going to believe that.
No, I seem to...
Yeah, that's why we're doing our best to stay.
That's enough to make a nigga, like, what's the law?
I was in jail 10 plus years ago, that's a long time ago.
I was the kid.
I ain't trying to break none of that.
People make mistakes, fellas.
I'm okay on the outside.
I like life.
Me too.
I haven't been in a while.
So was y'all penalized for, like, when they come and rage y'all shit and they see these dildoes?
Everything's contraband.
If you have a state-issue shirt and you fucking put a little rule in it, it's contraband.
You know what I mean?
Just that.
Adobo, salt and pepper is contraband, all that's contraband.
Happiness is contraband.
Like, jail is terrible.
The way they treat people in jail is terrible, too.
We have more people in jail here in the United States
to anywhere else in the continent.
That's why we should treat it.
We got more people fucking up.
Yeah, but that doesn't mean that they just get treated like shit.
You deserve your rights.
Your religious rights, you deserve eating a meal,
get a piece of fruit.
Exactly.
Huge money just to feed them and don't feed them.
You don't get an apple.
Privatized prison.
It's been times a whole month.
Exactly.
It's been times a whole month ago, I don't have any fruit and vegetables.
That's wrong.
Y'all making pieces.
Deep dish with tortillas.
We need to take, we need to pay more attention
to the niggas behind the wall, how they're being treated.
I think we did.
I'm just saying, can you plug us with some of the bad bitches
that's in prison so we can start sending them
something on the world?
You know what I'm saying?
I don't feel like just because...
The same part is some of them are still in jail
because I was in jail.
I know, and I want to try to build some relationships
before they get out here.
I got a couple names.
I'm talking about the beautiful ones
that you were talking about.
Not the ones that was getting fisted
and Bruce now.
You don't want Bruce information
No
No
Bruce and him get
The same lineup from the barber
Yeah
Give me the Bruce
Yeah
Bring my shit up a little bit
Like Bruce shit was
Shiald and D.C.
Oh
Damn, Monnie
You just had a rough life
I haven't been through some shit
Well we glad you're out here
With us this summer
Me too
Man
Last summer too
You're saying like I'm fresh home
I'm just saying
What was the first thing
You did when you got home
Got fucked
So fuck
I didn't eat
shit
I got fuck
I didn't
I skipped to it
You didn't imagine
you got some
Fresh out of gym
Putz out of the way
Yeah we're not even
Get into the crib
I ain't done
That's some shit
I ain't never
I never missed dick so much
In my life
I didn't realize
I liked it
So much
Until I couldn't have it
Mm
No nothing
would have me
Take COD
because them
niggas
Fuck him too
These COs are fucking
Mm
What?
The COs
Fuck you
This correctional
officers, the police, they'll fuck you.
They give you extra milks and fuck you.
Extra milk.
That's some pimping.
Damn.
Bitch you want this vitamin D or not?
That's just, that's the shit you should have been telling me.
Let me be making jokes about it, but it's say, it's terrible.
What's a terrible thing?
I'm going to give you 100% dick for this 2%, bitch.
You and Joe for five years, then fuck this sloppy, fat-ass CO for some milk.
That nigga ain't never quitting this job
Fuck no, that's why they got them
A lot of weak men like that get CO and cop jobs
Y'all know that, they're weird old.
20 years, this guy from high school
and didn't talk to anybody
and people smack the shit out of Becca
and see it every day and lunch
That's who to stay true for us
When Jada needed the money for the brother college
I'm in a buying need
I'm in a buying mate
I'm in a buying mate
Well bitch if you want this milk you know what you got to do
That was terrible
And that bastard didn't go to school
That was terrible
We don't know what I did to get this fucking money
Make you look at your mom different a little bit
Don't be in that shower crying
Mommy had to do some shit to get them bills paid
Damn
You know why he had so many fucking uncles
Them ain't your uncles
Your mother got one brother
She was fucking now
You were fucking the men
To get you on that school trip
You want a hoagie?
I didn't grow up like that
I didn't grow up like that day
No
But you know who mama got at the worst in the movies
Forrest Gunt mama
She would get my ass
Toll out
I think it was necessary
Yeah she had to do that
She had to do that.
She got that dick of some legs.
She fucked him some legs.
That there is a legend.
The last time you heard a bitch fucking for some leaves.
That nigga had polio.
You know how bad polio was back then?
She got that nigga legs back.
She was making him believe that he was.
It's part of the game.
What was gone?
Mama was a hoax.
She was a hoax.
She did what she had to do.
See how big that bitch house was?
She ain't ever worked.
Mm-mm.
For my heart podcasts and Rococo Punch, this is The Turning, River Road.
I knew I wanted to obey and submit, but I didn't fully grasp for the rest of my life what that meant.
In the woods of Minnesota, a cult leader married himself to 10 girls and forced them into a secret life of abuse.
Why did I think that way?
Why did I allow myself to get so sucked in by this man
and thinking to the point that if I died for him,
that would be the greatest honor.
But in 2014, the youngest of the girls escaped
and sparked an international manhunt.
For all those years, you know, he was the predator and I was the prey.
And then he became the prey.
Listen to the Turning River Road
on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Your entire identity has been fabricated.
Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace.
You discover the depths of your mother's illness,
the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy.
Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro.
And these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories
I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets.
With over 37 million downloads, we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories.
I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you, stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths,
and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be told.
I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets.
Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio,
app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
The OGs of Uncensored Motherhood are back and badder than ever.
I'm Erica.
And I'm Mila.
And we're the host of the Good Mom's Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black
Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday.
Historically, men talk too much.
And women have quietly listened.
And all that stops here.
If you like witty women, then this is your tribes.
With guests like Corinne Steffens.
I've never seen so many women protect predatory men.
And then me too happened.
And then everybody else wanted to get pissed off
because the white said it was okay.
Problem.
My oldest daughter, her first day in ninth grade,
and I called to ask how I was going.
She was like, oh, dad, all they were doing was talking about your thing in class.
I ruined my baby's first day of high school.
And slumflower.
What turns me on is when a man sends me money.
Like, I feel the moisture between my legs when a man sends me money.
I'm like, oh, my God, it's go time.
You actually sent it?
Listen to the Good Mom's Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday.
Effect Podcast Network.
The IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you go to find your podcast.
She didn't know who his father was either.
She didn't.
It worked.
She named the Force.
It worked.
Force Gunp went around the world, nigga.
Twice.
He ran one thing.
Own franchises and shit.
Successful.
All America.
All of that mom's cat.
Had his mama not fucked that man.
He wouldn't have been at that school.
Met the president?
Never would have made it to the university.
The Alabama.
Ping-pong champ.
Come on, man.
Saved 100 people in the war.
I was running.
That's a good-ass movie.
It's one of those ones that don't, you don't mind watching it wherever you're at in life.
For sure.
You could be sitting at the bar, toe up, niggins.
Like, they got four.
It's gone on here.
Hell not.
This is my part right here.
White Lieutenant Dan.
Jump out of that bill with no neck.
Lieutenant Dan.
Lieutenant Dan.
He smacked the prostitute, we get mad.
With no legs, he slapped the shit out of this too.
Forrest Gump beat the motherfucker up like,
take off when that nigga tried to grab Jenny.
All you saw was for coming through that bit like this.
At the Black Panther meeting.
What?
Sorry, I ruined your Black Panther Paulde.
That's a good piece of cinema.
You know who's known for big titties now that's black?
See, it's me.
It's this nigga.
bro, Sherry Shepherd
This nigga went back to an hour
15 minutes ago
No, because I was trying to
Y'all, I couldn't think of one
But there's still no black woman that has the label
No black woman has the label
As a big titty, yeah
There's still no woman that's just known
For big titheater. Nah
I don't know what Sherry Shepard
We know that she has big tities
But what I'm saying is there's no black woman
That's known when you say her name
Oh, the Titty Girl
Like Dolly Parton
Dolly Parton is synonymous with titty.
Whoop a Goldbird, that's some big titters, too.
He is bugging.
Nobody even looks at her to the area.
She's just not that type of woman.
I love him, man.
I ain't never looked at whoopie like that.
You just don't.
Whoopi don't give you that.
Bray, you just can't be out here looking at whoopi-go-bird right there.
Don't discuss our tities like that.
Brian, you need help, my boy.
Don't touch Whoopi.
That's what you are drawing.
You don't have nose.
You're just whatever with it.
It's fucking Moopy Goldberg.
Damn.
Hey, this is your partner.
Who?
This is silly.
I claim him, man.
That's my nigga, but, you know.
I don't know what his mind would be going when he...
Look, all right.
If you had to, if you had to pick,
one...
Whoopi Goldberg or Queen Latifah.
We're still going.
This is crazy.
Y'all won't disrespect who like that.
Don't even entertain.
That's not a...
Whoopin or...
It's at a certain point you have to stop.
Whoopi a queen.
I'm rocking with the queen or no.
On which ones you would rather suck?
Whoopi Goldberg and Queen of the Deepa.
Whoopi Goldberg don't even ask you.
Whoopi Goldberg, love this show.
Whoopi Goldberg love this show.
man.
Queen Beautiful and Whoopie's legend.
If you can't do it, man.
I'm not, I'm not doing either one.
My favorite Whoopie movies is the movie with the white guy.
She has a kid by him and she don't really know.
Ted dancing?
Ted dancing.
Fuck Ted dancing.
Fuck them.
My favorite Whoopi Goldberg movie is burglar.
Ghost.
Ghosts or something.
Mine was Eddie because I was an extra in that motherfucker.
Hey!
That's lit.
You did some of Whoopie, that's fucking lit.
I was a basketball, uh, court side,
Courtside photographer.
You can see me.
I'm real blurry in one of the shots.
It's beautiful.
Hustler.
You thought that was going to be one of the one?
Nah.
But I was doing all the dumb extra shit,
like trying to go eat with the main cast.
What was the job you thought was going to be the one?
All of them, dick.
Now, did you see?
Same thing, yeah.
Not when I was doing the extra work,
but, but yeah, when I first started booking shit,
I thought Def Jam.
I thought that was going to be, oh, nigga, I'm on now,
Nick.
I'm the new Chris Tucker, Nick.
Nope. You got to work.
Got to work.
You got to put it in work.
You know what I'm saying?
But I'm thankful for every job, though.
Every job is a building block.
Is that book special, like, or that big special?
Is that the pinnacle for people, that big common special to our own?
I don't know.
Nothing should ever be a pinnacle.
I don't know how many people picked their favorite.
I told you which one going to be my favorite.
The biggest check.
The biggest one.
The money.
I definitely want the special.
The formula has changed.
though back in the day the formula was death jam get on the sitcom sitcom and then you
out of there and then you go to movies that's how it was it was like Martin he did the he did
death jam then he did the movies then he had a special or no his specials then well kind of the same
simultaneously specials in movies in the other way I don't think mark that that that show
gets enough flowers like that shit is still would you watch to like now if you see
you see the hoodie big homie send this to me himself oh that's what's like that's
Yeah, he did.
He sent me shit.
Like that show, that moment of time, watching that shit, he came to my stand-up special.
He sat in the crowd.
I was like, I don't get a fuck with none of y'all niggas say.
Martin Lawrence is in my, the audience of my special.
That's crazy.
I'll give a fuck what y'all say about me.
Big homie stamped.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
Well, Jay Anthony Browns sent me some hot sauce.
That's valid.
That's valid.
Yeah.
You got damn right.
I was running there with some niggas.
I'll be around the legends and shit, too.
You stand.
You were...
Jay and the Brown is a legend,
though.
You got a club in the way.
Tell, yeah.
I was doing the J-Spot.
I was doing the J-Spot when did nobody give a fuck.
Watch that now.
He wasn't even there.
Jay, a legend.
Yeah.
Shout to Jimt of N. Brown.
I did the J-Spot before they remodeled the bitch.
And the stage was on the other other side.
Jay watched the short time.
One night I was in there, bitch.
They got the fight.
that somebody birthday party, nigger, they towed that bitch.
They remodeled that bitch.
For real.
They were throwing bottles around that bitch.
It was a crazy-ass, mate.
I liked the J-spot.
I liked you.
One day I got hired and I was just walking around.
I fucked around and walked past the J-Spot.
I was like, I don't walk too far.
I walked far as fuck.
I don't know why.
I was just walking.
And that ain't even know where you need to be walking at.
At all, that's Engwood.
Nah, not over there.
But at least if you're on that side
and you keep going west,
it's a little better than if you go to east side.
If you're going the other side of the 405.
Anything south of Wilshire is dangerous.
I feel like every street is dangerous.
Everywhere.
Yeah.
I just feel like it's a lot of tension out there
because there ain't nowhere to park.
Especially in L.A.
Damn, that's a good theory.
Especially.
You know how frustrating it is?
To be a homeowner, and you can't park in front of your house, but once a week.
That's crazy.
Right. That's crazy.
You got to put your shit on the other side of the street.
You got to put shit in your spot, like semenes and shit, like big hunks and cement.
That's how we're doing Philadelphia.
Put big chairs.
Sometimes just put your kids in the spot.
In L.A., you can't park on the street one day or out of the week because the street's sweeping.
So you got to maneuver and find other parking on streets.
that will allow it, and that it's the most goofy-ass
policy ever.
Is it the same day for everybody, or is it alternate days?
No, alternate, like Monday, Wednesdays.
They let you know when you move in.
Let me get street sweeping once a fucking year.
They like, get your ass up.
The funny thing is I lived in neighborhoods in L.A.
that don't have street sweeping, and the streets are cleaner
than the ones that got the goddamn sweeping.
This is Atlanta, you clean your own fucking streets.
Atlanta's pretty clean
It seemed dirty to me
Yeah, sometimes
Depending on what corner you on
Exactly
I didn't visit the hood
This trip
Good
I gotta show you some better shit
About Atlanta
Because you're not about to leave here
You never here, Carlos
I know
I text you, I'm here
You say I'm in Africa
In I be in Africa
You're in Atlanta
Or you in Connecticut
That's a bit difference
I was in Bucket
I was in Bucket
Like that's nice
That shit used to be nice
In the 90s
That shit that fell off so bad.
It looks pretty nice to me.
That's the most dangerous part of Atlanta now.
It is.
These be niggas running down the street.
There was a shootout.
Niggas just shooting at anybody.
Shooter was caught.
No motive.
Niggas just mad.
Shooting people as they passed by.
Don't.
Yeah, Buckhead used to be out there.
That's crazy how Lenis is the worst mall now.
It's the best mall, but it's the worst mall.
You've got metal to take his name, right?
No, it's not the best mall.
It just has the best shit in it.
What's the best mall?
What's the best mall?
You may tell you, the most slept-on mall, most consistent mall that always came through for niggas in Georgia and no nobody ever mentioned it?
West End.
Cumberland.
Cumberland Mall got you fresh when you couldn't find shit.
Cumberland is that shit, though.
Cumberland had your size when then nobody had your size, niggas.
Cumberland came through.
Shut out the Cumberland.
You ain't never really lived in the Atlanta metro area if you ain't never pulled a little.
cute out of Cumberland before.
Shout out to Cumberland Mall.
Cumberland Mall has been
holding niggas down.
You know, that is the most
That is the most slept on mall.
Most slept on mall around this morning.
Because a nigga that tell you to go
every other mile but come in.
Man, Cumberland Mall, got your size.
Nigger will tell you to go.
There's always some little holes in there
that want to be holiday.
You might be buying your business
and get stopped.
Hey, excuse me, bro.
Bro, where are you from?
I ain't from down here.
I just fuck with niggas like you.
Like, okay, they ain't look deep for a bad, man.
Look, look good, like, man.
She's doing bad, though, because she live in Cobb County,
so she stay with somebody.
Card County the best.
No what I'm saying?
Anytime you meet a cutie and Cobb County.
If she look good, and she live in Cobb County,
she stay with somebody.
Big cousin, sisters, or somebody.
I get you that.
I get you.
Because you got to ride out there.
This ain't like,
Four people in an apartment.
They got a big-ass house, but there's a lot of people in that mother.
I ain't got time to break the schematics down.
No, you're right.
No, you're right.
Shout out the car.
I'm from car.
Exactly.
Shout out the car.
Yeah, they had you pulling up in Pallisprane Road.
She stayed with her auntie.
Two big pretty-ass businesses outside.
They got a dog only white people here.
Like, she got a fat-ass in a border color.
This is a bus with a cub, Kenman.
He's got a golden retriever
They dog went to school
Around this bitch
I'm gonna start going back out there
Now it's gonna be a lonely
And it's gonna be a lonely and it's something
I feel everybody gonna take this something
And just be single
I feel because we've been in the house
for a whole year
I don't know
niggas is already out
I don't really feel like nobody
committing to nothing to at least the spring though
Damn.
Maybe.
But they're not lonely.
They're not lonely.
Mingling like a mouth.
Do you know how many people lost all their hoes
doing this quarantine?
I'm talking about everything.
Because she got the no-year-in-no-year-old.
I'm talking about the one who said
you were never going to lose her.
She's going.
I'm talking about she's somebody fiancé.
How and why?
They've been laid up for at least eight months.
I tell you, you never get to know somebody
until you were locked in on some quarantine shit.
That's what I'm saying.
A lot of motherfuckers was only able to lock in with one person and lost all day holes.
I'm talking about it was worse than a flood.
I know niggas who lost eight, nine holes doing this shit.
It's a lot of holes.
I'm talking about that was his hose.
They just found out who was most important.
Quarantine wasn't nothing for you, huh?
No, it was shitty.
She was laid up with a nigger to.
It was a nigger for sure.
Don't let her trick you, bro.
I did quarantine with him.
She said her selling was
350 pounds
She was the lookout. That was her dad.
You see what happened when you get people in the information?
He got, I just noticed.
He got a delay.
You can't let that out.
Shit come back to him.
He had to think about it and then it looped back
around this man.
Hey, y'all remember we were talking about you going to jail?
He's kind of, I'm back a little bit.
That's how we got to the titty.
That's his name.
Backtrack.
He's going to bring them up again.
He still want to know if I hit
Wolfie or Queen of the States.
What's when it's going to
Neither one.
Did you quarantine alone?
Did you quarantine alone?
No.
So you had a bitch in there?
Yeah, he did.
He got a whole family.
He said it like you had a wife,
you grabbed down, I gotta, oh, look, yeah.
That's what marriage do to you.
That's like, did you get a bitch a lot of kids,
they live and everybody live, they breathe.
That married life.
What that shit in on, bro?
Yeah, how's that?
It ain't for the week.
Ain't shit out here in these streets, bro.
If you got a good woman, you better work it out.
It ain't for the week.
Twenty-four.
Seven.
24.
Kids is always hungry.
Yeah, they're growing.
They got to eat.
Do you know how to ignore them?
Have you mastered that?
Oh, yeah.
I got that shit down to a science.
They're master.
And if you got toddlers, you could fake sleep.
That works.
But you know what's crazy?
These generation babies, if you don't got Wi-Fi,
they ain't fucking with you.
Oh, man.
They ain't fucking with you.
They were literally calling you broke.
I'm talking about, can we go home?
They broke.
They Wi-Fi ain't no good.
That shit is a crisis.
You got to have a crisis.
internet. You do.
Oh, man, went to you move, and you call
your kids, and you're like, y'all don't come over
here? You're internet on yet?
No. We'll come with the internet on.
They're not giving the fuck about
you. For sure.
They don't play with toys no one. No, bro. Game to change.
Tablets. It's a different world.
It's a lesson. I love it. Sitting over there
and don't fucking talk to me, because I don't want to talk to you
either. Love you.
How many kids you got, Mon? I have two children.
You have some more?
Beautiful children.
Do I want more?
Yes, when I'm rich, I'll have more.
Like three, bong, bong, bong.
Or I do like the rich bitches
and get a bunch of them and put it in at once.
Do that.
You see these bitches having twins,
that's not natural, they're paying for them.
So?
You can pick the high color, legs, how high,
how tall, I'm short, all that.
For real?
I'm about to create me one like a creative player.
Me two ball players.
Go create me a whole ass baby.
X-ray vision.
Kids bring joy to your life.
It's like the worst and best thing
ever did.
They do.
Like, you love them.
Like, I feel like, if you don't think here and they're like, damn, I could have gave her
that $3.50, you don't really love them children.
I love shit up.
Your parents think about if they weren't right.
Yeah, I'm probably going to have me some more, too.
You want more?
Hell yeah.
I might give me some moat and some step kids.
You planning on having stuff?
Yeah, I just want to be an old nigger with a room full of kids and people's like, look
at y'all.
I raised all yo.
How many kids do you have now?
One, I feel like I should have had
I should have had more when I was younger.
You don't have bad.
I should have been out here with six and seven.
That's wrong.
That's wrong. I'm the only child.
All birdberry shirt on.
I miss that shit.
I should have been getting these old pregnant,
bride.
If I would have been going to be straight late on.
Oh, I would have, ooh.
Damn, that's a sad.
Because I know I miss two good baby moms.
Man, that's a sad.
Because I'd be saying, wouldn't they be posting on Facebook?
I'd be like, oh, I should have got her.
I pulled it.
I'm talking my hour.
All I did with
owner
She'll put it in a
Damn
That's a fact, Loz
You gotta have more than one
Only children are weird
Kids need siblings
You gotta have somebody
You conspired
Like I wish you could kill mom
You gotta have that person to grow up
I know
But I fucked around
I did the same shit
But them only town kids
They love breakfast
I got no kids
I did what he did
All my life
I've been spraying on it
Yeah
Oh okay
Yeah exactly
My baby mama
I haven't been probably a little bit nicer.
I probably would have got another one,
but she made me not want another one.
That happens.
And she would have just been a little bit,
I probably would have ended up with two,
but I'm so glad I did.
I'd be looking at niggas with two baby models,
like, how, nigger?
How do you do this shit?
You got two people that hate you.
Damn, I wish I would have more kids when I was on you.
I should have had some more.
How many of you got?
I got two.
At least you got two.
I should have some more.
Damn, I should have about five.
Woo!
Because we'd be straight by now.
No, uh-huh.
It's still work, right?
It's different now.
When you're older, don't nobody want to watch your kids?
Mm-mm.
No.
Shit.
When you're young, man, everybody watch your kids.
Don't nobody watch my fucking kids now.
Those kids in the trunk, down, stay all back.
Yeah, we should have.
I miss my opportunity.
Should have had some more.
They're watching.
Podcasts in Rococo Punch, this is the Turning, River Road.
I knew I wanted to obey and submit, but I didn't fully grasp for the rest of my life what that meant.
In the woods of Minnesota, a cult leader married himself to 10 girls and forced them into a secret life of abuse.
Why did I think that way? Why did I allow myself to get so sucked in by this man?
and thinking to the point that if I died for him, that would be the greatest honor.
But in 2014, the youngest of the girls escaped and sparked an international manhunt.
For all those years, you know, he was the predator and I was the prey.
And then he became the prey.
Listen to the Turning River Road on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Your entire identity has been fabricated.
Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace.
You discover the depths of your mother's illness
the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life,
impacting your very legacy.
Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro.
And these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories
I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets.
With over 37 million downloads,
we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests
and their courageously told stories.
I can't wait to share
10 powerful new episodes with you,
stories of tangled up identities,
concealed truths,
and the way in which family secrets
almost always need to be told.
I hope you'll join me
and my extraordinary guests
for this new season of Family Secrets.
Listen to Family Secrets,
season 12,
on the IHeart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
The OGs of Uncensored Mother
are back and badder than ever.
I'm Erica.
And I'm Mila.
And we're the host of the Good Mom's Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect
Podcast Network every Wednesday.
Historically, men talk too much.
And women have quietly listened.
And all that stops here.
If you like witty women, then this is your tribes.
With guests like Corinne Steffens.
I've never seen so many women protect predatory men.
And then me too happened.
And then everybody else wanted to get pissed off because the white said it was okay.
Problem.
My oldest daughter, her first day in ninth grade, and I called to that.
I asked how I was going.
She was like, oh, dad, all they were doing was talking about your thing in class.
I ruined my baby's first day of high school.
And slumflower.
What turns me on is when a man sends me money.
Like, I feel the moisture between my legs when the man sends me money.
I'm like, oh, my God, it's go time.
You actually sent it?
Listen to the Good Mom's Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network.
The IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you go to find your podcast.
It's downhill now.
Now I'm just at the point, like, whatever.
Had some more.
Not shit.
You have to.
Only children are fucking weird.
I would be so, it would be so quiet.
It would be so boring.
I would have, like, imaginary class.
So I'm in there talking to like 20 kids.
And then I would have an imaginary student teacher.
I had to cuss that bitch out because she could never get the kids to relax.
Wait, did some shit you did because you was all the child?
What else I'm going to do?
Imaginary shit.
Damn.
It was bad.
That's where you went wrong there.
and they're making up shit
you gotta have more
to one kids need somebody to like
buying with
should have me some more kids
I'm gonna have about
three
your pull-out game is immaculate
if you're really pulling out
and not getting nobody
pregnant on pre-cum
so that means you know
when you pre-cum in
because you get pregnant on pre-cum
oh yeah
hell yeah you got a pre-pull out too
you got a jerk it pull out and jerk it
now you have to pull it out
and wipe it off start over
who's been pregnant up a pre-com
I got burning off become
She's not sure of that
I'm sure of it
You know I'm sure of it
Because I don't like come
What? I don't like to be came in
Oh my
But you can't control that
Yes you can't pull it the fuck out
You can't
I can ask for it
Because I'm not like I'm just meeting the nigga
He knows what I don't like
So he's gonna pull out
So how you know I was freaking on?
Because he pulled out
What's the fucking math? Where's the math
Where are we missing here?
I don't even know
She didn't get nutted up in.
Her club didn't get shot up, is what she's trying to say.
No, the club didn't get shot out, but it was a shoot in the program, right?
Yes, exactly.
That's how I got pregnant.
It was a stabbing in the pool.
Yeah, exactly.
The fight started in the clubs.
Yeah, it was in the club, for sure.
It was in the booth.
The whole club didn't get up.
They're so disgusting to get somebody pregnant.
That's what happens when you come in somebody to get pregnant.
I don't know why I meant to do that.
Like, I feel like, you all know how somebody can really, like,
manipulate or, like, try to ruin your life.
for so long, so I would be real, like, careful with my come.
Because if you, if we and you meet, we're having sex, right?
And we don't have that type of relationship.
And now I'm pregnant, and you say, yo, I really don't want it.
To me, a woman should take that info in for women, but they don't.
Like, a woman knows she wants the baby from the gate.
She don't give a fuck about how you feel.
I'm learning that.
That's why you guys find a woman who don't want it to.
I just think it's unfortunate.
You don't need that pill.
You don't need that birth control pill.
You don't need something to be able to protect you.
Nah, we're straight.
Y'all really think we're out here trying to live better.
We like that.
We like the go raw.
You don't need no birth control.
That's going to take the fun out of it.
I think everybody likes that.
They take the thrill out of.
You're like, well, she's not pregnant.
Oh, fuck.
Take this fucking birth control pill and go out here and continue to not get anybody pregnant.
If there was a pill that you could take, you wouldn't take it?
No.
No.
Really?
No, because I ever talk shit.
I'm gonna be, when I'm in the pussy, I'm like, yeah, this that none, burn control.
I'll take no drugs.
Like this shit, don't you do?
They don't even make this like this no more.
No GMOs, no birth control?
I got a five.
Put my hands on your little remedies and shit?
Nah.
It's all.
Organic dick.
I tell certain people.
No preservatives.
I'll let you know.
Thanks.
We had a light skin me.
That's cool.
You niggas weren't.
Still ain't taking no birth control, mom.
Fuck y'all.
I mean, if it was out with my mom.
My sons of age, I would get it for him.
I would put them on and all that.
That's a lot of male friends.
I've seen women do things like they.
They didn't even want the baby.
They just want what he got or want the situation.
A bitch is trying to force you into that.
Ha, ha, plot twist.
I ain't got shit.
Er!
Got tricked at your pussy!
Thought you had a good baby down here.
Thought you had one, bitch.
Nah, man.
We're just talking shit.
I think it's not there, though.
That nigga had been sitting up thinking about them kids
that should have had ever since I said that shit.
For real, man.
Your wife's gonna watch this shit
and punch the fuck out of here.
Who the fuck was you thinking about
when you gazed in air like that?
Exactly.
You didn't fuck up now.
Yeah, you're in trouble.
When she's zooming on this gaze?
You're gonna get your ass for it.
Yeah.
Blink twice if you're in trouble.
She hit you?
Blank twice.
It's all good.
We bring you some more kids to the fold,
bro.
That's what we're doing.
It's the summer.
Okay, let's make some kids.
Yeah.
Let me find me two-step kids.
Y'all can make me.
They need kids to keep moving.
I'm making a child.
I'm a whole body changes.
I want two, but I want two more where I'm just fucking their mama.
Their dad ain't never coming back or some shit.
Just going to be fucking their mama off and on 15, 20 years or something.
Help her raise them kids.
Step dads are cool.
Shout to the stepdags, man.
Like, yeah.
They are.
I'm like, who your mama hug?
My mom ain't got no hug.
She's been messing with the same man 20 years.
They need a cool.
Uncle who?
He's cool as fuck.
He cool to have.
Uncle.
Uncle daddy.
Yeah.
There's a lot of good women out here working too hard
I had a couple stepdadders in my life
A couple
Shout out of mine
I had the same one forever
I'm glad I ain't have to go through that
I had the same one
I had a couple, man
Damn wrong with it
Yeah my daddy was around
You had a dad
Wow
I had a dad
She'll be clapping
That's why you were so successful
Oh yeah
I think you're begging me because you got a dad, nigga?
Yeah.
No, my dad was awesome.
I am better than you a little bit.
Yeah, I mean, come on.
You can't make a deep dish pieces, though.
I can't.
Not a prison joint.
Yeah, that's what she better than you.
Yeah.
I ain't even get to the top layer yet.
I want you to make one of the 20s.
That's all we had.
Microwave of 190 water.
That's the hot water on a unit.
If you go down, it's really war.
You burn that bitch with it.
Manta, when are you coming back to the A?
Um, I'm gonna come back next week.
Come back, and then I want one of them deep dish joints.
Straight pepperoni, though.
I don't need all that extra shit, because we got ingredients now.
No pork, though.
Huh?
I don't eat pork.
You don't have to eat it, it's mine.
I'm not making you pork.
I'm giving you beef pepperoni.
Have you had it?
No, I don't want that shit.
You want pork.
If you had pizza in Philadelphia, you had beef pepperoni.
But check this out, though.
You were trying to, fuck it.
Never mind.
You shit probably on YouTube at this point.
I don't fucking need you, is all I'm saying.
I wanted you to be included, but once you took that little fucked-up attitude.
I'm going to make the pizza for you.
I mean, don't tell me what you're not going to put on my shit, though, mom.
I'm going to put it on a pizza, but I want you to taste how I taste.
I ain't asked about all that.
You already sold me on the idea of the bitch being good.
I'm like, oh, I wonder what the kind of pizza I like a taste like.
I don't like all that shit you name.
I know the ingredients I want on my deep dish.
I've been to Chicago.
That Philadelphia is a Muslim city.
Yeah, it's a lot of Muslims.
I'm Muslim.
Ain't no point.
Don't just pick and choose when to be Muslim.
You wasn't Muslim when you was in jail and shit.
Yes, I was.
You were following the law dead.
I mean, I mean, clearly, like, you can see a Muslim that's practicing
because they were overgarming.
But I'm Muslim, my faith.
Your whole legs is out.
You're going to hell.
I went to Zuma.
I went to Juma Friday.
You got males, tattoos?
Yeah.
Smoking blunts?
And children.
And kids?
Out of wet life.
Yeah.
What?
You know you can't touch the women
when they don't judge?
She hugged me when I walk in here
They were stoned and shit out of her
Yes
I didn't know that
But you can't hug the women
Or you can't you know what?
You know what you know the crazy shit though
When I went over there to Dubai
They still be trying to flirt
They'd be looking at the nigga
They'd be like you're not supposed to make eye contact
Like that.
Man they be doing
They hit a nigga with them eyes
You went to Dubai?
Hell yeah
Scary is a motherfucker
Was it?
Because you see how we're just
normal and then you see somebody show up
and then my fuck got a tent on. You're like, oh
it kind of catch you off guard.
Could you smoke weed there? No. It was like
no weed, no, can't be shit over there. Uh-uh, you
can't do shit. You got to buy some street water. They got some
niggas over there that's so black. They look like
they blue. They're probably beautiful. But if you
call them black, they'd be like, no, you're black.
Yeah, yeah, you're black. Yeah, you're black.
Yeah, yeah. I'm talking
about this nigga would look like he was frozen
or some shit, like a purplish
blue.
Mm.
What's a black-ass hat?
That colorism goes in every difference, not just black people.
I don't give a fuck.
Some of them niggins were so excited to see me, though.
I was like, I don't know what the fuck y'all was.
I can pull up at the gas station, they got these dudes who just pumped the gas.
I guess a lot of shit over there that's real baller.
They're from regular-ass people.
They got gas pumps in them.
I got out the car.
And there's the Carlos Wallin'outs, sore brother!
So brother!
They pump your gas in New Jersey, too, you know.
I love.
They pump your gas in New Jersey.
I ain't never had to buy gas in New Jersey.
You never been to Lany City?
Yeah, I do.
I got a show coming up there.
I'm just come in and do my show and shit.
Well, you're doing better than me, nigga.
I ain't never been to Dubai.
What you mean?
I haven't been to Dubai.
How is that doing better than you?
Because you've been to Dubai.
You went over Eddie Murphy house.
You went over Eddie Murphy house.
You went over Eddie Murphy house?
He said Eddie Murphy leaving a castle, bro.
Did he tell you?
Eddie Murphy about me, bro.
That's how niggas are.
You did?
My nigga.
Come on, man.
My niggins.
As long as you did.
Because my nab didn't.
Nab didn't.
Nab did the whole movie with him.
Didn't even tell Eddie Murphy that.
That's fucked up.
It's ten niggas waiting for me to tell him about you.
But you know me too long.
I ain't never been a hater.
Word.
I spread love.
Word.
I can't, look.
Eddie, Eddie's a known boxing fan
and he had these big boxing.
viewing parties at
there's no way to explain that shit
it's literally like in the beginning
and coming to America
when
King Jopi Jopir
is walking him through
and his zebras and shit
walking, you know what I mean? They're walking out
and that's his house
he still lived there
and that motherfucking Zamunda
So the first house is his house
The Zamunda Castle?
Remember in the beginning of the movie
Paramount, you see the Paramount logo
and then you see that big ass
fucking castle in the middle of the forest
that's his house
oh
I ain't know that
my son works
where is he now
believe me
I've tied my own shoes once
it is an overrated experience
let them wait
I'm talking to my son
I love that fucking movie
legendary
what you think about the second one
I think that you can't follow a classic like that.
I agree.
It's just, just leave it alone.
You cannot sequel everything.
But again, Eddie always gonna be the goat.
I got a painting of that nigga on my wall, so I'm gonna always pay homage.
Is that your favorite comedian?
Yeah.
Who's your favorite comedian?
Carlos Miller.
Who's your favorite comedian?
Prior.
Prior to, but I like, alive.
Alive?
Yeah.
Earthquake.
David Chappelle for me.
It was prior Paul Mooney, but they're gone.
I'm a huge Paul Mooney fan.
Like, I have a goal of making niggas walk out like he did.
Paul Mooney is fine.
I watch Kobe Brand a lot.
I'm my own fan.
That's hard.
I'm the goat.
That's hard.
I mean, Mamba mindset.
If you don't believe me,
let's book the show and you prove it to me.
You gotta beat me.
Quit touching shit.
Fuck that.
That's gonna get whoever.
That's how you're supposed to think.
Whoever you want to get.
That's that rapper shit.
When I get to heaven, I'm gonna follow some of them niggins.
That's that rap shit.
I mean, I'm the truth too, niggins.
You're funny.
Yeah, I was up at Jesus' last weekend.
Yeah, nigga, I got a stand in on too, yeah.
That's hard, bro.
Yeah, I'll be doing this shit in the next life too.
Who's your second favorite comedian?
One of these niggas.
You know, one of them.
Whoever.
Whoever.
Callas don't give a fuck.
Damn show don't.
Fuck around to say the wrong name.
Whatever.
A lot of the niggins don't like me no,
so.
You've been made it.
Fuck around and show love to the wrong
motherfucker.
I'm fucking with you.
I fuck with you because you're an island.
You don't mind being on that island
and you don't give a fuck
who swim up to it or who leave it.
You're going to always be there.
island and that's what you you're content with that exactly as long as you content you can always
have peace peaceful as a motherfucker because you don't need no other island to come join your island
you good good that's exactly how i like it this game to break your heart if you believe this shit
man back don't look them take your motherfucking heart mm-mm that's why you see niggas that
they're going crazy right now because they be thinking they're hey this the one and then when that one ain't the
they don't have no backup plan.
Especially when you're not, like, I mean, people,
you know, people, some people are really trying, really hard.
It was, like I said, early was comedy college
at Warm Daddy's in Philadelphia.
You could pay $5,000 to learn.
To me, you can't learn how to be funny.
It's like, no matter.
That's more of preparation, though.
I mean, or maybe timing or whatever, but somebody...
Could somebody check on the chicken, please?
Some of the people's just, you don't have a funny bone of your body.
It's something, it's just not it for you.
But for me, I feel like, when you find,
Well, for me, like me making somebody laugh, making myself laugh.
Like, that shit makes me feel better.
Like, that's how I've gotten through shit my whole life.
So while I'm under a bridge, homeless, or I'm in a fucking mansion,
I'm going to be laughing and making somebody next to the head.
Do you have a herringbone on your sock?
Yes, I do.
And look at the chain matches.
It's black on.
She's a queen of the hood, bro.
She's making up for that time.
She's spinning the hole.
This shit came out of a time machine from 1992.
Yeah, bro.
Damn.
She used to date a drug dealer, and he gave it.
I'm not bad at it.
I'm actually not bad at it.
The chain was bigger, and it broke, so she made a chain.
She made a link, a linklet.
You used to do this shit?
No, I said, remember when they did.
In the early 90s, that was the thing that would snatch your pocketbook, you don't remember.
I tried to stay away from their life.
You freak your black in mouths?
I don't champ on, no.
I just smoke them.
You just smoke your blackout?
No.
My brother here, he champ shit. I don't do that.
What?
I just smoke him.
I think that's a...
Ain't that like the sin?
Why are you judging me?
You're supposed to freak the Black & Mounds, I thought.
And make it poor a better.
I don't think you know shit about Black and Mounds.
You got flat shoes, my boy.
The shoes is too flat.
You're not even about that life.
Yeah, niggas that wear vets.
He has no socks on.
He has smoked blacks.
He doesn't smoke black.
He don't got no socks on.
That man is happy in life.
He gave up.
He just be out there with this nigga with no socks on, but.
I look that nigga do what the fuck he do.
These vans, bro.
Are you don't post the office?
He don't wrote on his shoes, man.
Tours shirt, vans, it goes together.
You feel me?
Yeah.
You got like an hour.
He's going to wear shoes with no arches, nigga.
He don't give a fuck.
Generally, any think that you could fall in hand is enough for me.
He a flat-footed beast, and I don't get in his motherfucking way.
Let him do what the fuck he do.
He won't.
He is cold, bro.
He's not going to be.
He cold.
I think the nigga got to be recognized as a cold nigga, though.
Keep doing your thing, Brandon Lewis.
Thank you, dog.
Don't never let this be the last time you come to the trap.
What can they find you at?
He's from the A.
You can find me on Instagram.
Who is Brandon Lewis?
A new season of Roast Me.
I host Roast Me on All Def Diff.
New season, I came to Atlanta.
I got all my dogs.
You didn't get me.
So now I know ain't your dogs.
Now I know I ain't your dogs.
You are my dog, but you ain't over a look.
I could have did something.
I could have came up.
came down there and said, you know, this my dog shit,
just coming down here to show love the brand.
But fuck it, go ahead.
But I got set it off, though.
But I got set it off.
All right, go ahead.
Thank you.
Shout out to set it off, man.
You gotta get these niggas a hard time, bro.
No matter where you're at in life.
I know your rhythm.
Can I listen to what you're not going on?
Yes.
Please tell them where your only fans is.
Okay, well, don't call me white girl.
I don't have only fans.
You could just DM me and I'll see you a picture this pussy through the cash act.
How much you're gonna push on the pussy?
Ask me in a DM from a question.
I feel a lot of judgment coming off.
No, no.
No, that wasn't no judgment.
You ain't got no fucking socks on.
I'm trying to be polite with you.
You don't supposed to wear socks all the time.
Up north, if you could ball your fucking sticks in a ball.
That's a no for us, but I ain't judge you about it.
I like it.
I like the aesthetics.
Stop fucking judging me.
I mean in jail smoke blacks.
Anyway, I got a show in Baltimore, July 31st, okay?
I'm on Jazz and Sellin's album.
I'm on here talking about my daddy issues.
Terrible. You should go check it out.
I love jazz.
She's the best. She's gorgeous. She can sing. She's amazing. She's
amazing. Wait, she was on the new album? I'm on a new album. Hotel.
Hotel. I have a hotel. Check me out. Don't call me white girl. Don't forget. And I have
something really big coming out that I can't talk about. But it's really a show.
Okay. All right? This is lit for me. You know what I mean? I'm trying to get these kids up together.
I'm not mad at you. Listen, you can't be. He's out there to snatch purses. You know what I'm saying?
What's next?
I'm producing shit right now.
We didn't do some TV shows.
Yeah.
A bunch of other shit.
Yeah.
I do everything.
I'm up the mindset of no limitations.
I can do whatever I want.
Let's create some.
We got 85 South Media.
We got our own media company.
We got our own record company.
We got our own studio.
We get ready to take the Tyler Perry rubber.
Y'all are the blueprint to what a lot of niggas need to be paying attention to.
Your niggas earn?
Yeah.
All right.
No, I'm serious, though.
Like, y'all are the blueprint.
of taking an opportunity
and making a business out of it
making an enterprise a multi-faceted
multi-branched business out of it
it's fucking brilliant
bro that's what we've been trying to tell these motherfuggers
I think they scared to fuck with us
all these people bro we legit out there
all what people
n nigga we get we'll wrap off camera
because I don't like to say shit on here
because they steal so much content from this show
without you saying any name
Fuck them people.
Y'all making your own bread on your own.
People are gonna steal anyway,
but just how I look at that, right?
People have been stealing my YouTube videos,
they steal my IG lives,
and they put them on all kinds of pages,
and they get their revenue shares.
I look at that shit as, okay,
we in the 90s, and y'all niggas is my street team.
So I ain't had to go pay y'all niggas directly.
Go get your little rev share off of that video.
But now y'all are promoting my name
as if my face was on the side of a van or a car.
But, I mean, that part I'm okay with.
I would just, a clip of me talking on the podcast a year ago just went viral.
No, they'll take the whole shit.
That's what I want to know.
How do you feel about a motherfucker taking your bit and just seeing it out their mouth?
You know what I mean?
I've had niggas take.
Actual jokes.
I had that niggas take the pep ready to dick ready.
Whole shit.
Whole minute the stage.
You got to run up on people like that.
That's what I feel like.
You have to have a conversation.
If someone's taking your material, I'm talking about something different.
That's why I'm trying to sue the Internet.
The media.
Seriously, though.
I feel what you're saying.
You gotta get like these record companies.
These motherfuckers got so much fingerprints
and their music that...
That's what I'm talking about.
Them people right there.
You want to ID your shit, I get it.
Yeah.
Those people who show up with the fucking paper hanging out
to brief kids.
You see somebody doing a Carlos Miller bit.
It's all in the comments.
You stole it some Carlos.
The people see.
They talk about it.
You know what I mean?
We appreciate them people.
We appreciate y'all.
Don't stop.
from Carlos Miller.
All I'm saying is there are a lot of people out here
with great material.
Still some of that.
You have to use all of mine.
I'm gonna be up in this bitch doing sign language.
Like, loo-what the fuck happened?
And it's still gonna be funnier.
That's the day.
They got it all.
Stoned everything.
Took everything.
I ain't anything.
Stombed my boys.
They stole my...
How are you going to have a death association on your ass?
My jokes in.
You, my, it's gonna be 50 deaf niggas in this nigga DM.
Yo, that was fucked up.
And they gotta send you videos so you can really fill them.
It's gonna be a silent protest.
Oh my god, the quietest protest ever is gonna be 100 deaf niggas.
Silently marching.
You know, they're really gonna be the sign language.
The fake sign language.
Yeah, we love the deaf people.
We love y'all.
They didn't hear you.
A, B, C.
They love a joke too.
Y'all can take a joke.
They didn't.
I know the alphabet.
They ain't going to hit this shit
until the captions come out.
Oh, really?
Wren?
RIN.
Oh, my God.
Wren?
Wren.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
All right.
I don't have one.
For real?
No.
See?
Fuck them people.
That's why I've been saying.
No, it's not even about, for me, it's just,
impressions are one of my tools
to get the, to get the,
job done. You know what I mean? I'm not an impressionist. I'm just a nigger who got a couple
talents and I use every talent that makes money to pay these fucking bills. What's the fan favorite
people ask for the most? Oh, Jay-Z. Y'all about to say it's hold for me. They always ask J-ZZ.
But recently, they started asking more for Maya Angelou. You do Denzel too. No, I don't do Denzel.
I do a version, but now that's Jayfair. Chris Rock. Chris Rock. Chris Rock, yeah. But no,
Maya Angelou, my ain't got bars. Y'all niggas on.
Y'all, she's one of the original emcees.
I'm just trying, I'm here to tell you all, listen.
Surely I'm there for you.
Anytime you need me.
For real, girl, it's me in your world.
Believe me.
The world is it.
The world is nil.
It's the world.
The world is yours.
It's mine, it's mine.
It's crazy.
Whose world is this?
I would think she was so here.
I would think she was still here.
That's true.
Carlos Miller, look at you and I'm talking to you.
I can't.
The world is yours.
Stop, man.
You're an island.
You're like a rubour.
With blue waters floating all around your sand.
But inside of that island, you're still a nigger.
You're still a solid nigger.
And I salute thee.
And still, I rise.
I rise.
Like a Phoenix, how does he have a man?
Hey man, this has been another episode of 85 South,
so we have this bitch.
That shit is crazy.
Let's get a photo, man.
My guy.
What time is it?
I got a piss.
We gotta take a picture.
Let's do it.
Sit back down.
He didn't even say please, that niggas.
Sit back down, please.
Come on over here, Tiddy.
I'm going over here, tiddies.
Why, you keep scooting over here, but we could go closer like we knew each other.
I knew I wanted to obey and submit, but I didn't fully grasp for the rest of my life what that meant.
For My Heart Podcasts and Rococo Punch, this is the Turning, River Road.
In the woods of Minnesota, a cult leader married himself to ten girls and forced them into a secret life of abuse.
but in 2014, the youngest escaped.
Listen to the Turning River Road
on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Join IHeart Radio and Sarah Spain
in celebrating the one-year anniversary
of IHeart Women's Sports.
With powerful interviews and insider analysis,
our shows have connected fans
with the heart of women's sports.
In just one year,
the network has launched 15 shows
and built a community united by passion.
Podcasts that amplify the voices of
Women in Sports.
Thank you for supporting IHeart Women's Sports and our founding sponsors,
Elf Beauty, Capital One, and Novartis.
Just open the free IHeart app and search IHeard Women's Sports to listen now.
Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories
are set free.
I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge
your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you.
Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network.
Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
This is an IHeart podcast.