The 85 South Show with Karlous Miller, DC Young Fly and Chico Bean - BERT KREISCHER in the Trap! | 85 SOUTH SHOW

Episode Date: March 29, 2024

Comedian Bert Kreischer in the trap. This one...is hilarious!   || 85 SOUTH App: www.channeleightyfive.com || Twitter/IG: @85SouthShow || Our Website: www.85southshow.com || Custom Merch: www.85apparelco.com    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Negroes in here for us not to know it. It's at least one of us. Okay. But what if it's one that everybody knows? You ready? All right. This might be it. Dude, don't cheat. All right. Oh, no. Maybe he ain't going to cheat. Yeah, yeah, man. Are you playing? Anyone so far? Name the band, name the band, and I'll give you $100. You never heard this song? No. I've heard this song.

I've heard this song the only one to say. I know this song, who is this? Who is this? God damn it. By the way, in a comedy club, I cut the music on my phone and all the white people. Lookin' fall. That white girl says she don't need to know. Oh yeah, but she's definitely.

Oh. Go no more with you. You guys never heard this? Ever. Never? Hold on. Here you go. You're ready?

No, I haven't. You know. Yeah, you know. Here we go. Listen to the drums. Here we go. You're motorists. Yeah.

Watch your price for fight. Yeah. You're finding this. You're finding this. Who is this? We'll be in one right, night. It's in Boogie Nights. It's not Chicago.

I don't know who this is. Night Ranger. That's what it is? Night Ranger. That's their name? Dude, this is every, if you, if you go out and you, Sister Christian, that's the fucking shit. Oh, no, I didn't know this. This was my karaoke song for a long time.

I know them, but that's what I'm saying. I know white people's all, but I like, I know where to get a party at your house. Yeah. I know what to get the party at your house going. I know some of y'all anthems. Just the city boy. Oh, born and raising South Detroit. That you're the reason in my life.

You're the inspiration. Oh, you'll turn that motherfucker out then. Yeah, hell yeah. I know that, I know how to get the white people party going. It depends on what you're talking about. You're talking about that soft rock? Oh, yeah. Or that new wave shit.

Oh, that new wave from you. Now, this is my shit. Shut your fuck up. This is my shit right here. It's badass. Shout out to Chris Cornell, rest of peace. Oh, man. Sound gun.

It's too easy. Black hole, son. Come on. This is too easy. What the best video? Won't you come? And why you see the pain? I don't know.

I don't know if there's been a movement in hip-hop that connected with you the way grunge connected with us when I was. when you like had this angst of like you didn't really have any problems but you wanted to have problems and you were like yeah my dad's a dick no we really had the problem yeah you really had the problem we had to create them we really had but when brunch hit man this shit just sitting in the dorm room room smoking weed with like a fucking six pack of IPAs just white kids complain about but this is the thing this is what you don't know we love this song black people love this song

Aaliyah did her top 20 on BET, and this shit was on that. Bro. Alia? Yes. Alia said, and she talks about SoundGuard, like, she talks about it. Like, this is one of my favorite songs just melodically I hear it. And it's like, yeah, this one of, yeah. My first pit I ever had that really worked was when Alia had that baby boy.

I'm a man for the big G.A. You know, I've been watching you. I can do the whole dance. Really? I've been doing stand-up. I've been doing stand-up for like a month, and I learned the dance in my apartment, and I would do it on stage,

and it was so good, it would murder. Yeah, hell yeah, it was still murder. It was still- slide up, boy. I've been watching you like a hawk in the sky. And you were my pray. That's cool. Oh, shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. This is borderline racist right now. This is fucking awesome. All spoken to join right now. Have we started the podcast yet? Yeah, it's all. Okay, good, good.

She grew up in Indiana town, had a good-looking mama. She never was around. She grew up, and she grew up Indiana boys in the Indiana night. You know this guy? Calais and Florida. Tom Petty, right? All right. Rest in peace.

Woohoo. Oh, my, my. Oh, here, yes. Time to put on that party dress. More than they had seen. And the book keep moving. Got to keep moving. Oh.

Keep moving on. God damn it, this is a good song. We'll tell you, we'll make you feel comfortable. Hell yeah. Yes. We'd be knowing what the hell going on. Never thought you'd come in here and hear this, did you? What would be wrong with white people, man?

What are like, what's the start? What's the problem? What's the message by and y'all music? I know what it is for us to fucking get on. Like, what is it for white people? I'll tell you, I'll tell you, this is the lyrics. There's a white guy that connect with me. Can you play Tom Petty?

You don't know how I feel? Those are the lyrics when I get draw. I love drinking on airplanes. I love getting loose and like listen to music and I like crying. Like I put on sunglasses and I'll cry. I get so emotional about music. The airplane is easy to cry. If you start thinking about some shit, I have experienced that.

This is what it feels like. I can't think about my grandma not crying. This is what it feels like to be white. to be white. Yeah. Let me hear this shit. Oh, this right here, man, reminds me of being on top of my jetta.

You already white. Let us hit. I'll take you on. That's right. There's something that I used to say, but she don't give a damn way. That's right here. You ready?

This is the lyric. This is where it hits hard. Feel it. Close your eyes. Be white for a second. So let's get to the point. Let's roll another joy. I heard, dude.

Turn the radio loud. I'm too alone to be proud. And you don't know how it feels. You don't know how it feels. To be me. I think white music's a little more narcissistic. You got that right. It's a little more like to be you, Burke.

What struggles are tough. Yeah, the problems aren't that bad. This is a city boy. Yeah, this is. Isn't that a great lyric though? Yeah, I mean, for a white person, yes. To the point. But the reality is, if a black person said that you don't know what it's like to be me,

They were like, hey, man, turn this shit off. This is too depressing. That ain't true. That ain't true. All this emo shit they got now, there's a whole lane for motherfuckers to be sorrowful and full of anged. Now, these young niggins? Oh, yeah, they're different. But they got, see, back in them days, it was different.

I think the deal is, like, we're more into gay shit. Like, we like gay shit. What? Like, I know you guys don't. I know you guys don't. Turn that down. You know that's like, I mean, he'd have got too comfortable already. Like, he'd have got too much to his whiteness too quick.

Turn it down. What kind of weed you smoked? Turn that down, turn that off. Play some pimping in this motherfucker. We got to snap him out of this shit. He got extra comfortable. This is not that type of party, Burke. We have heard the story.

And you didn't talk with the whole white community, too. He was ready, you know, basically. This is like gay shit. Don't play no more that shit. Yeah, sweetie, there you go. Yeah. This high white people song, go around. What you got?

No more white people music. Yeah. We go to despise it first. He started getting negative in high school. Ready than exposed to secret lyrics. He don't know we're going to study this shit when he'll leave. Like, what do you say right there? Right.

You don't know what it's like to be me because I'm gay. Put that shit together. Put it together, boy. Might be able to get you a lower interest rate on your home loan. Oh, goodness, gracious, man. You listen to that song in reverse. It's going to tell you everything you need to know about America.

He's best in yourself. So we be thinking they ain't saying shit, but they really, y'all swag is different. It's coded language. Like, one of my favorite white people's songs is that Beck, loser. And I don't know what the fuck he's talking about. Get busy with the cheese whiz.

No, I'm thinking about, I'm a bitch. I'm a mother. Oh, that's what you call it. Yeah. That's Cheryl Crow, one of them, ain't it? I'm a thinner. I'm a saint. Yeah, I don't listen to that.

That's what. That's sugar music. You know, you know, play Matthew Starr. That's some, like, hot. That's like, that's like fuck a white chick, me your sick right there. Fuck a white chick. Massie Star. We have taken so many turns, Bert.

Like, there's like. That's better. That's better than where you were going. It's like, you ever listen to Rolling Stones, Wild Horses? Still, it's dangerous. Are we going to have to listen? We're going to have to listen all these songs. No, this is, by the way, this is such a joy.

Like, I love listening to music. I love listening to music. But, like, I veered away from hip-pop. I used to be really big into hip-hop. Why did you veer away from it? Uh, oh, well. You were singing along at a concert. Yeah.

No, I just, I stopped, I was talking to a hip-hop artist, Trinidad James. He's got old-gold everything. It's one of my favorite songs, best fucking song. I saw Big Boy posted on his Instagram, and I was like, at first time I ever heard it, and I was fucking hooked. And I was singing along with it. It's a hard song for a white guy to sing along with. Yeah.

There are a lot of, well, we sing the word. You know that, right? That's what I said. sing the word, like, not when you're around, but like, when I'm by ourselves. In the property of your own home, in our car, not in our home, not what we're doing yard work. Like with the windows up, yeah, with the windows up, yeah, with the windows up. So the windows all the way up. And you got ten all, and nobody can see your house. Wait, hold on. Can you imagine singing a hip-hop song, all go and everything and not enjoying getting a lot. I talk to Snoop about this.

As a black man, when you sing the music, but when you sing the music, you get involved, right? You get taken into it. I talk to snoop about it. Just make sure the window is up. Yeah, well, I got self-conscious of it, and I was like, this isn't healthy. It probably is. And so.

And you probably enjoy it more than you should. No, no, no, no, no. Not in a bad way, but in like. Because how you're going to gauge how much to enjoy it? I know the first time. I wasn't saying, I wasn't being in the song and it's staying in a hateful way. Yeah, you were still enjoying the music.

I was enjoying the music, yeah. He didn't put the ER on it before he actually learned it. And then when he learned it, he did a whole look performance. I'm like, oh, wait, does somebody get in this motherfucker with me? I know all the words to this bitch. That's the difference between, in my opinion, being black in America, it being white in America, because if you're a white man, it is a word that you know you can't say out loud.

You know you can't say it. But we don't even have a word that we can say to piss y'all off as bad as that shit pisses us off. If there was like a white people song that we could sing and know that we fuck up with white people, where they see a group of black people saying it. Y'all, nigger, we would... Man, you imagine if the national anthem is like... The only thing that you say to a white person now to make a man really, like that would work like that,

is call them a racist. Yes, it's a hard one to come back. They will fight to not be there. What? How did it? Like, that's the one, like... It's a mic-drop word. And that's crazy that is...

And you can't unprove it. You can't unprove it. Like, it's impossible to improve it. Then you just got to be... You don't know how it feels You don't know how it feels To be me How you know?

I just know You tell about the way That motherfucker looked at me Right Yeah, that's Yeah, you can't You can't come back from that You call it's Canadian

That'll piss us off Really? Yeah, like I'm going to pay For my fucking health insurance See, there's white people problems right there all the way We got in here, man This is this is

Hey man, welcome back to the Five South Show We already in here talking shit. Talking a lot of shit. Did you even know that that's how that shit was going to start? Yeah, I'm a fan of the show. That's my favorite part. My favorite part of the show is at the beginning when you guys were rolling blunts

and no one's really paying attention. Yeah. It feels like your eavesdropping. Yeah. I like it. I like it. Yeah. That's what it's fault.

Yeah. I like that and I like when everyone gets too high and they're all having their own thoughts and no one's talking. That's one of my favorite moments. I wish I had my little glasses so I can... Here, see if we have the same prescription. No, I don't even wear glasses. Listen, man, I already... I can tell you what it's the craziest things

about this man that I know. This is Van Wilder. No. This is who the movie Van Wilder was based on. This is the machine. Yes. I'm a man of many masks. I do got to get you that.

Like, that's always been a special thing in my mind If you're a comedian and you can turn a joke into a movie. Yeah. It's rare. It only happens a few times. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. The first example I ever was introduced was Robin Harris-Baybe's kid.

Oh, buddy. You know what I'm saying? One joke, that's a fucking whole movie. And to be able to do that, I think that's something every comedian kind of probably aspired to do a walk. You know what I'm saying? You turn your joke into a movie. Yeah, I think I got lucky because I got to tell that joke over and over and over again. It got bigger.

Because everyone had to turn over hours. You know, like when Louis started doing it, everyone started turning over hours. And that was the one joke that I, wherever I went, they were like, tell it. So I kept telling it. And I think that's what got me to do it as a movie. I mean, I milked that cow,

like the closet of dairy farmer in the 1930s. Boy. Just taking my time with it. That one other than bird crisis. Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah. Two bears.

One cave. Yeah. Nah, man, how you been? You're successful. You look, he got his own drink now. Yep. Making big business moves out here. Oh, so, man.

Your own liquor, let's go. I watched you guys blow up, and it was, like, fun to watch what you guys were doing. We blew up? Yeah. When? I remember I was doing theaters, and you guys were doing, you did the making, the, I, me and Snoop and shot the TV show in there. And so, and so I had. been in that arena and I was like man I can't imagine selling this out and then like two weeks

later you guys sold it out I was blown away so I've been watching you guys for a while and I love you always show love I love you know I love wild and out I love wild now you say you was going come on I wanted me and Tom to go and be opposing people but we're old it's not it's why it doesn't matter yeah yeah the age is not as before yeah I've seen people suck on it and it's really tough I have shit me so when I say it everybody feels this be a but but but But look, on the low, on the low, just being there, being around it and being, the senior shit is, they chose to suck. Whoa, but wait.

Whoa. They chose it. Okay. Like, because they could have, they could use their resources. So everybody can call you Maddie's dad for the whole episode. I told her with Maddie. She's fun as fucking shit. Maddie is fucking nuts.

She is, wow. I wish I could tell some out-of-school stories about Maddie. Like, she... What does that mean? We took her to, we took her to Amsterdam, where to, uh, to, for Chinese New Year's and I was doing a show in Amsterdam but it was Chinese New Year's

and it was Winston Churchill Day What the fuck is Winston Churchill Day? Come on man, he that guy over there Yeah What is that? Winston Churchill That's why I just said He the British Martin Luther King

That is not far off That is not far off I never heard of Winston Churchill He's not black though Oh Winston Churchill I know he ain't black But I didn't know they had a day for him

Yeah. No, no, no. I celebrate every day he died. The day he died, I celebrate that day every year, January 24th. His Winston Churchill Day is this Bert's own personal holiday. It's my day. So I lived my life like he lived his life. Oh. So he woke up every morning and he had a soft scotch with a cigar, eggs over, sunny-side-up eggs, bacon, ham, toast, jam, coffee, the paper. And he sat in bed for three hours, having drinks and smoking a cigar. Then he got in the bath for an hour. Then he went, and he started drinking champagne. By the way, he was the Prime Minister of England.

Started drinking champagne. Take a walk around four, have another cigar, have cognac up until dinner time, and then have whiskey at his house. So I live, and by the way, he was a gangster when it came to, like, Hitler was like, we're going to attack Britain. And Winston, so he was like, well, fight him in the sea. We'll fight him in the land. Like he was the one British guy with balls that stood up to him.

And that's why Britain never got taken by Hitler. So Winston Churchill's a gangster, but he partied his dick off. So once a year, I celebrate, I live my life like Winston Churchill. I put on a suit. I take a bath. Man, we parted our dicks off last night. My dick fell off last night, man. Yeah.

Had to get it reatted. And that is dope. Knock it off again tomorrow night. Somebody stand up at your funeral again, yeah. You don't say, it would be weird if you're sitting in a white funeral. He's parted his dick off. We all know that. He loved to have a good time.

Am I lying? I just think it's great that you get to know that much information about somebody. Ain't a black man that we knew of in history, but we could know what that big of eight for breakfast and would he drank and all of that. Oh, I love getting into small stuff. I mean, no, I'm talking about that was the prime minister or something. Wouldn't Martin Luther King eat for breakfast? Whatever he could have that day.

See what I'm saying? racist. They do that? No, he had a, he had a Martin Roland Luther King had a dope-ass Rolex. Yeah? Yeah, they had a dope-ass Rolex. We don't, we never even...

I was obsessed with him. I have a picture of my tour bus, but I was obsessed with him. Why? Why? Because I don't know. This was the floor of the riots. Yeah, wait. How am I getting paid in this?

No, no, it was, uh, I just think he's a fucking, is, I know a lot about Martin Luther King. Yeah, I'm a history dude. Can anybody confirm that bird at the picture of Mar Luther King on his two of us? Look at the white people, we're like, yes, he does. They make them uncomfortable. Yeah, he does.

Yes, yes, he does. We have to look at it every time. He makes us look at it every day, and then we sing the Negro National Anthem, which I haven't fully learned the words too yet. I don't know that one. No, I, yeah, I got a picture of Martin King with my tour bus. Good luck. I've had it ever-sized the tour bus, and he's just a solid dude to look at.

He was at, I had lunch, they had a picture of him at the Capitol Grill. I took a picture of it. I was like, it's just a fucking, it looks like he's looking at you. Look how Martin Luther King looking at you. All white people. Every time they see a picture of Molly of the King, you dirty motherfucker. He does have that look right there. You dirty, mother.

Man, I got to ask, Bert, like, you know, just from Van Wild to be one of my favorite movies, like, you know what I mean? How did you stay alive for so long? I don't know. How have you, through some of this shit that I've personally witnessed you do on social media? Yeah.

Like, how, like, what? How do you do it, man? You know, for real, I work out like crazy. Like, I work out every morning. And I'm also not, I don't have the, like, alcohol thing, like, the alcoholic gene. I just like to party. Like, I have a good time. So I can know when to pull it back and then get, I always wake up early.

I always work out. Sona, cold plunge, drink a lot of water. And I don't, I don't, I'm, look, I didn't get famous until I was later in life. Like, I can get success until, like, 44. so like I kind of look at this as like I was a real opportunity so I'm gonna go after it I don't care what anyone says I'm gonna work my ass off every day but health is the most important thing right and I think I think I just bust my ass in the gym I work out like crazy I mean because you you've okay well in that case like what's the the that you can

remember of course because I know the most you've ever partied like the one time that would be number one on your list from all of the shit that you've done That night they parted their dicks off. Dude is wearing my dick. Wait, you guys really don't say that? You don't say that? Nah, we're just, nah, we're just... Hey, boy.

Now, what's your streak? My streak? Your party streak. I had, like, I had to quit drinking because of our fully loaded tour, because it was, like, it was crazy. I mean, I was like, we bring, like, 30 comics on the road. We have seven tour buses. We do all outdoor, uh, minor league baseball stadiums.

stadiums and uh and some arenas but a lot of outdoor shows like amphitheaters during the summer cold beers in the morning eating mushrooms in the afternoon going on inner tubes down a river like smoking weed would still work out and by the end we did the gorge 23,000 people was amazing it was amazing if you i wish i could show you a picture it's one of the most beautiful venues i've ever done in my life set upon the stages on the edge the rim of a huge gorge like the grand canyon it's Amazing. Where is this? And it's in Washington.

It's in George Washington. And I, it's all the seats are rock outcrops carved in. Where is George Washington? In Washington State. Oh, okay. I'm in Washington, D.C. I think it might have been a secret place. It's George Washington.

It's Washington State. Oh, this is she carved into the landscape. And I've done Red Rocks. Red Rock's pretty badass. It's gorgeous. Gorgeous. So you're telling me you did a show in Bedrock? And, yeah.

Yeah. It's, I mean, it's overwhelming. As an entertainer is one of those times when you get on stage. You're like, this shit is not going to happen a lot in my life. Right. I should really slow down and enjoy it. And at the end of that, I was really partying at a clip that was unhealthy. Like, I was like, I would, at the end of my show, I'd tell the machine, bring everyone on stage,

and then I'd kill, like, four beers on stage and just murder them. And the place is going nuts. And then I'd bring the other comics, we'd all right, just murder beers. And then at the end of that, I was like, all right, I got to stop. Like, I'm unhealthy. him, 275 pounds. The internet was like, he's dying. He's definitely dying.

And so I lost 45 pounds. Stop drinking for three months. And now I'm back. I just launched a vodka. I'm ready to get fucking down. Oh, Jesus. You guys don't drink, really, do you? I don't drink it up.

Well, you don't drink it out. Well, Clayton does. Yeah. I mean, not like that. No, no, yeah. Yeah, I'm just saying, just in case, you know, he want to offer somebody to sell me nobody to give it. Do you want to write you all about it?

drink at all. No, I bought with it. I try something. Yeah, I'll try the liquid pour off. Yeah, my man over there, you want. But I was going to say this, man. You go from just what I've seen of you on, you know, social media and stuff. You go both extremes.

Like, you go hard for the party shit, but then, like you said, you're jumping in an ice bath and... Yeah, cold plungers are awesome. That shit crazy. I'm a person of extremes. I'm right now I'm carnivore. So I'm just eating steaks every day, steaks, fish, just meat. I don't really fuck with baseball. I had to just switch and just go into carnivore mode.

So I was at the cardiologist, and he was like, man, you don't know good. These our numbers aren't good. We're, now I'm worried. And my wife was there, and I was just fucking lost. I was like, dude, I'm 275 pounds. I don't know what to do. And he was like, I'll tell you what, there's a lot of health benefits to being in ketosis, like a keto diet.

And he goes, you should call Rogan and talk to Rogan about it. And I call Rogan, and Rogan's like, yeah, man, I'm carnivore. I feel a ton of benefit from it. So I tried it and I enjoyed it. I enjoyed eating rib-eyes at night. I enjoyed cheeseburgers with the animal style with the lettuce on the outside protein style. And I all of a sudden this weight started coming off

and I started feeling better. And so I was just stuck with it. But I can work in extremes. Like tomorrow morning I'll wake up by 7.30, work out. I punish myself. I go, if you're going to have drinks tonight, then you better pay the tax tomorrow. Like get down there.

do it and uh and then but also it's like i got really excited coming down you know i've been a fan for you guys for a while and i was like i was like i don't wonder if they're going to drink i wonder if they're going to smoke like i want oh i should get good cocktails like i get excited for life like i do like i i like to party then i like the energy of the hang the you know it's just fun for me when did you discover that cocktails me i got i got i got i brought this i got IPAs you ever do you like i i know i know what it is don't you don't i used to work i don't i don't drink it all anymore but I started doing comedy at the Greensboro Comedy Zone really there in Greensboro North Carolina I just saw that it's still there right

yeah I just won't pass that the other day yeah in Greensboro Arizona pizzas right across the street so I'm very well versed in how white people drink and I have learned more about what I never going to drink again from drinking with white people than I have ever learned from drinking with my people because it's a couple of things rumplements yeah see that's not that It's good. That's like a joke, though, right? Like, ain't that, what that?

No, that's licorice tasting or something? No, it's like peppermint snops. Oh, okay. I think it's peppermint snobs, if I'm not mistaken. Yeah. Those double IPAs. Oh. Yes.

I got one of those right now. You want double IPA? That's like a fat white guy with a beer and beer. Listen. Oh, wait a minute, IPA. Yeah. See, y'all, y'all do, that's y'all's malt liquor. High gravity.

That's a really great statement. You know what I'm saying. 9%. in a beer can. That's y'all's malt liquor. Y'all try, y'all rebranded it, something serious. They used to have, that shit crazy. At a long called the foothills in Winston-Cell in North Carolina,

they used to have, on Wednesdays, you can go get double IPA shots, I mean, beers for 50 cents. They would give them away, because they had just opened this bar called the foothill, and they brewed their own beers, so they were giving it away trying to get people to come. So me and my man, Jerome, would go down there and drink double IPAs. We would chug these, bids. I'm talking about just wasted.

And it's cold. I never forget, man. I don't know how we got home. We had some girls with us. We went to Burger King. I remember that, but I remember the next thing I remember, I woke up and everybody was in the living room, passed out, and it was food everywhere.

Like, letters on the wall, burgers and shit on the floor. Like, did we have a fool fighting this bitch? Like, how the fuck did this fool get everywhere? I say, man, it's over with. This is stupid. It's just dumb. And then the difference is I've learned that white people,

when I'm interacted with them, they always, oh fuck it, bro, let's just go back to Burger King, get another burger, do it again. Why are you tripping? No, I don't even know what happened the last time. Why the fuck are we going to do it again? So that's the difference is y'all don't have a limit, you know what I mean?

Just y'all are the real no limit soldiers. Y'all are just gonna go until it ain't no more to go for. Yeah, but there's black tears that are like that. I don't know any of them. For real? Not like that, no, because the, thing about us in my opinion is we gonna say something to you to chastise you in the way where you ain't gonna do that shit no more somebody uncle or something you get too drunk

around the right person and your family or your friends somebody gonna be like man hey the fuck it's wrong with you niggit your drunk ass on someone that's what I was about to say your friends are a lot more forgiven they know that you're gonna get drunk and act a fucking fool and do a whole bunch of shit and they still gonna love you and be like hey man that's just how he get when he gets drunk black people you might get one or two times to get drunk and have an incident or start a...

We go to jail, Bert. And we can't get out. Like, you... It don't stop it from happening. Yeah, I mean, it doesn't. It does not stop it. Everybody knows a drunk motherfucker that you're not stopping him when he's, like, you know what I'm saying?

But you're not going to be around him either. No, it's going to be around you and you're going to want him not there. Like, why is he? Now that you say that, I don't, like, I'm... I'm like something familiar for me is like the really drunk white guy who's trying to fight people and like you don't really see that with black dudes you guys kind of like have drinks me now that happens oh for real and like that happens that Hennessy man that Hennessy bring the thug out of a square I've seen it happen oh man that Hennessy will make him up I knock your bitch ass out of here Nick like no you all you're drunk and then you all yeah when I saw a picture of Bruce Lee drinking Hennessy I started started all making sense. Yeah.

They got the dragon in it. I guess it was for a movie or something he was doing, but he was drinking Hennessy. No, it's something to that. I don't want to be racist, but Asian people fuck with it. Your boy Timothy, he fucked with the hand.

Don't go heavy. But wait. Him, John Oong. Was the number three buyer of Hennessy in the world. See, Hennessy make you think you can That's one person. That's what I'm saying.

Here's a connection. Bill me a new. Hey, if Kim John Nguyen wanted to be on the podcast, would you fly to North Korea and do it? Absolutely no. What? We'll never be able to come back to America. No, come on.

Robin came back. Why wouldn't you come back? Robin don't know he robin. They came out of him. And he's an NBA champion. He don't know. Dude, I would in a fucking heartbeat. You'd be on the way.

I go to see me, Kim Jong-un. I would. I bet you would. Yeah, fuck it. You do all the, I'm about the story. I like the story. But see, that's the thing. It's a level of safety that you'll be able to come back to.

You ain't going to be able to do all this shit you do over there. You think he's going to let you be you? That's why I'm going to figure that out. Stipulation. Oh, you're not coming back. He's going to love me. I'm going to take a shit on a pizza box. Oh, you're definitely not coming back.

He's going to be like, I didn't love this guy. Oh, man. They're going to make a jail. He's going to heaven. No. He's going to strap you to Iraq. Listen, I want to party with Putin, man. I heard that guy fucking gets down.

I just you get on the internet Putin's like a Putin's the leader of Russia because this kind of a I love like when like things line up you know and you go oh that's why that works so Putin is

the leader of Russia because the life expensive expensive expensive of the average Russian male is like 55 right so they die really young so it's not really healthy healthy over there

I mean when I was there everyone drank like fucking fish a day and night But the women live longer. The women, their life expenses is like 70. And so they don't really have men that age. It's like a rarity of guys who are like 75 years old that are in shape, that are in control, are alcoholics. So let all the women vote for Putin because he's like they're Justin Bieber.

So like that's why he takes pictures of him on the horse, shirtless, like fighting a bear. You ever see those? The Russian Billy D. Williams. Yeah. They're from babushkas. He got the babushkas. The babushkas are like, he's my guy. Hold on, man.

We might have to just start bringing you on here every three months to just translate the shit into white people for us. You don't have to just break down what the fuck been going on. Like what? I thought he was just a bad motherfucker who was around there slapping people and running that shit like Stug Night. I didn't know. Ah, he here. It's a sex symbol over there. Putin's old KGB.

And when the wall fell This is why we have Putin, right? So the wall falls. Putin's in like Berlin or some shit And no one calls him. He's KGBB and no one calls him And he fucking goes Fuck everyone.

You know that you know when you get like Everyone goes out in parties What do you mean? And you see it on Instagram the next day You're like, what the fuck? No one wanted to call me? That's what happened to Putin in in Germany. What you mean nobody called?

The fucking Gorbachev No, when the wall fell, they didn't let him know. No one just, they left him on his post, like, whatever. And so he got a, he got a chip on his shoulder. He's like, I'll run this fucking country. I'll show you. And that's how we got Putin. Yeah.

Boy, this is. I just listen to podcasts. And so, like, I listen to the shit while I sleep. Like, last night I listened about the Spanish flu. The original flu. Yeah, yeah, man. Yeah, that was the original COVID. That shit.

It's so crazy when you look back at that shit. Like, you see the pictures of the people with masks on and don't wear masks you get put out and this was 1918 do you guys miss the pandemic at all i do do too so badly yeah i had a ball in the pandemic yeah it's so much fun yeah i think that that should be like your Winston Churchill day we should have at least like a week where we celebrate the pandemic that would be badass you know what we the anniversary the anniversary stand the house for a week how do we get around this week making a holiday where it's mandatory like make sure you know wear masks and everything.

Everything. Everybody with masks. Yeah. Somebody take it too far and get vaccinated. Yeah. Let's do it. Fuck it. Fuck it.

Let's get. Let's get the fake vaccinations down there. Everybody come out with a shot. Yeah, with the band-aid. I can see a parade now with the COVID testing stations in here. Yeah, here. A shot of liquor. Yeah, they got.

That was, I went today with his pictures of in the pandemic. Like, I went to, through my pictures at that time. And it's so, like, I was like, man, I hung out with my daughters every day, every night. That's the bad part of the pandemic to me is that I got to kick it with my daughter every day, man. Yeah, and it was like, and they couldn't go anywhere.

So they weren't, like, chomping at the pit to leave. They're just like, it's like having a prison cellmate. You're like, so where you're from, you know? And so it was like my daughters, and that was the best. Yeah. I can see that. I ain't had my son until after the pandemic, so. Yeah, I could, but while I ain't have them, it was dead.

I drove my car faster than I ever drove. Oh, really, no traffic. I drove, fucking flying high as shit. I did Rogan during the pandemic. Like, first week when everyone's really staying home order, especially LA, and we got high as fuck. And I was like, hey man, I can't drive. And he was like, there's no cops. I was like, what?

He was like, yeah, just drive. I drove home that day. And I was, like, fucking windows down the only one on the interstate, like, this, I love the pandemic. I felt like fucking, like, a Mad Max. It was awesome. I went down and shit. I started just doing it at night. Like, I would pull out at night.

I felt like a night, like, and you would only see other motherfuckers that would have there fucking off. Either motherfuckers on motorcycles or motherfuckers is a fan stand shit. All the way. No, Atlanta did. Yeah, the A didn't close. I was out there in L.A. L.A. closed. Yeah.

But, no. You're in there. Bitched out. I remember the woman was videotaped. I was walking my dog with my daughters, and I had the neck gator, and I had it down. And this woman's walking on the other side of the street, and she got her phone, and she records me,

and she goes, you don't have your mask on, put your mask on. And I just, I was like, and you're a cunt. And she, and she recorded it, and I got panicked that I get canceled for calling some chick a cunt. But, like, I remember there were people so strict about masks in L.A. So strict. People wore masks in their car. Yeah

They have a mask on In their car Driving by themselves Just don't want to get it for myself Yeah Mofos do all type of shit Man Mofo wear the same mask

As the whole pandemic Man Stank I couldn't wear the white mask I didn't wear the black mask Yeah Black masks was a little cooler White mask

Just looks really like Like you just come into the doctor Yeah I'm getting to jail You had no clad You had no style Yeah outside of the disease though

The pandemic was the best. Do you ever see T. Payne's mass game? Uh-huh. We talk with you by and eat. I ain't a homie. No, T-Bain's my friend. I tried to write a song with him.

The, uh... You tried? Yeah, it was called... I'm going back to that one. It was called Mississippi Licking. It was about eating ass. It's so... Payne was like, it's a good fucking title.

It's a good title. I'm from Mississippi. I got to hear more about that. Hey, man. I immediately thought it was a blues record. It is. It is. It's about eating ass.

It's definitely a blues record. No, T. Payman had, like, designer leather masks made, like, Gucci masks. And they were, they were, like, almost like you'd see. Do you know Slipknot? Yeah. They're, like, Slipknot mask. Oh, wow. They were, like, leather, and they would be, like, a dragon's face, and it would be up over.

Zero. Like, he made, like, I'm talking, he had to spend, like, 10 grand old masks. It was like next level. We were doing a TV show and he had to wear those masks. And he'd come in with that mask. I'd be like, God damn, your mask came was next level. For My Heart Podcasts and Rococo Punch, this is The Turning, River Road. I knew I wanted to obey and submit, but I didn't fully grasp for the rest of my life what that meant.

In the woods of Minnesota, a cult leader married himself to 10 girls and forced them into a secret life of abuse. Why did I think that way? Why did I allow myself to get so sucked in by this man and in thinking to the point that if I died for him, that would be the greatest honor? But in 2014, the youngest of the girls escaped and sparked an international manhunt. For all those years, you know, he was the predator and I was the prey.

And then he became the pry. Listen to The Turning River Road on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all. Childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health struggles, and more. And found the shrimp to make it to the other side. My dad was shot and killed in his house.

Yes, he was a drug dealer. Yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on a street corner. He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal. He was shot in his house unarmed. Pretty Private isn't just a podcast, it's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Your entire identity has been fabricated.

Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness, the way it has echoed, and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro, and these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets. With over 37 million downloads, we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you, stories of Tangled Up

identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be told. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of family secrets. Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The OGs of Uncensored Motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the host of the Good Mom's Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect podcast network every Wednesday.

Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your tribes. With guests like Corinne Steffens. I've never seen so many women protect predatory men. And then me too happened. And then everybody else want to get pissed off because the white said it was okay.

Problem. My oldest daughter, her first day in ninth grade, and I called to ask how I was going. She was like, oh, dad, all they were doing was talking about your thing in class. I ruined my baby's first day of high school! and slumflower. What turns me on is when a man sends me money.

Like, I feel the moisture between my legs when the man sends me money. I'm like, oh my God, it's go time. You actually sent it? Listen to the Good Mom's Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday. On the Black Effect Podcast Network. The I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you go to find your podcast. Adventure should never come with a pause button. Remember the movie pass era?

Where you could watch all the movies you wanted for just $9? It made zero cents. And I could not stop thinking about it. I'm Bridget Todd, host of the tech podcast, there are no girls on the internet. On this new season, I'm talking to the innovators who are left out of the tech headlines. Like the visionary behind a movie pass, Black founder Stacey Spikes, who was pushed out of movie pass, the company that he founded. His story is wild, and it's currently the subject of a juicy new HBO documentary.

We dive into how culture connects us. When you go to France, or you go to England, or you go to Hong Kong. Those kids are wearing Jordans, they're wearing Kobe's shirt, they're watching Black Panther. And the challenges of being a Black founder. Close your eyes and tell me what a tech founder looks like. They're not going to describe someone who looks like me and they're not going to describe someone who looks like you. I created There Are No Girls on the Internet because the future belongs to all of us. So listen to There Are No Girls on the Internet on the IHurt Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

When did you get into comedy? Like, because you, and what made you know that? this was what you wanted to do because if you already are living a lifestyle of partying then you're already the life of the party so I mean what made you want to stand on stage I think it's probably I'm assuming it happened to all of us but like I everyone just said I was funny everyone was like you're the funniest person I've ever met me you should try to hear that yeah you remember when you first heard that I remember the very first day I heard that I had I didn't know my wife my girlfriend was cheating on me at the time

I didn't know that we were taking a ride a bus ride from Tallahassee to Clemson with like all our friends and I went up on the microphone and just started freestyling like just making fun of people going around the bus and they were crying and I was doing this thing

I was also had this little thing that I would sprinkle in where I would go all right for a million dollars would you and I give two crazy scenarios but they were wild and funny and I was murdering and I got done and I was humming

you know when you get off stage and you're not done yet you're like yeah and so my buddy was like dude, you got to do stand-up. You're so funny. And then Rolling Stone wrote a more article about me. You called me the number one party animal in the country.

And when I was in college, and someone let me try stand-up. I did it at Pop Bellies and Tallahassee. I did it at Pop Bellies and Tallahassee. Oh, yeah? That's one of my favorites. Yeah, Pop Bellies and Tallahassee. And I did like 30 minutes, 20 minutes probably. And it was real stream of conscious.

And it just, it was like natural. It was like really, and I was like, this is what I'm doing for the rest of my life. moved to New York Will Smith discovered me like six months later and then started doing TV and then all that shit fell away and I had to start at the beginning

that sucks man when you think you have heat back in the day I don't You had like a holding deal Oh I had a development deal I had two development deals Back to back I had two TV shows I have like three TV shows

They went or did all them They were all on TV And then all that went away And at the same time I got my wife now I'm pregnant And I was like fuck I don't know what I'm gonna do I really honestly was like how do you I don't

because if you're you know this but like if you're local you get hooked up with guys going you know let me take you into uh let me take you into Knoxville there's a club there I can get you past that but when you're in L.A. it's like I didn't there was no way to figure out how to um get to become a feature or a host so when Will Smith discovered you that took you from New York to L.A. Yes I started that's when I first moved L.A. I said the Universal Sheridan for seven months and he taught me at a cell TV show. He was a really great guy. I know everyone makes fun of Will. I love him

to death. I really do. He taught me how to sell TV show. Told me about Hollywood. He was the, he was the fucking best. And but yeah, and so then from when Georgia was born 2004 to like, I mean a long time, I just, I went post

I had to start over scratch, host feature, headliner, and then I was stuck at that like $1,500 headliner, $1,300 headliner for a long time. Okay, so what made you say you didn't experience success until about 44?

Because if you, like, if you had two development deals and three TV shows, that's success. What makes you feel like it was? Oh, yeah, no, but it went away. When he goes away, there's nothing. See, I'm not, I say it like, you guys don't live in this, like, no, I'm not shitting

on L.A., but L.A. is like a vapid place. Okay. Like, there's competition and there's people will be your friend and they fucking hate you in a second and if you get heat in L.A. and it goes away, you're like a pariah. No one wants to talk to you.

And that's just the way L.A. works. It is. I'm sorry I say that. And so when my shit went away, everyone was like, well, he's a failure now. He's not going to come. No one does a comeback. You know? And so, do you remember a guy named Chicken? Yeah, I heard about him. He was from Atlanta.

He was one of those guys. He ended up kill himself. But like your heat goes away and then no one wanted to touch you. And yeah, LA was fucked up back then. And then, what up though? That's what's up. Congreg. We won. Or we won the NAAC image award. Oh, yeah. That's crazy. Congratulations. Congratulations. Holy shit. I ain't know what he was doing. He was over there. We won an NDACP Image Award with Burke Crane. I just want to, I'll speak for all of us. I'm sorry. I just want to, I'll speak for all of us. I'm I'm so happy and proud of what we've done.

Yeah. If he go on the show and accept our shit, that's so be hilarious. Yeah, baby. Over half of my brothers over in. We put in a lot of work. Guys, we're gonna party our dicks off. Hell yeah.

I'm hilarious. I love you to Troy! All the way. So, when did you say- Congratulations, guys. That's really fucking been. Thank you. That's amazing.

After all of that, though, what made you feel like you successful again? again like what was that moment for you so I even like I made money I made money but like I did travel channel I worked travel channel for for a long time but wasn't there was no future in it and then when I started selling tickets I mean that's the only way when you know you're in control of your destiny when you're not paid for by some studio and then they tell you hey man you got to change your hat I don't like that hat you're like and then you have to do it because but when I started selling tickets by

myself and there's probably seven it's got to be seven years eight years ago maybe nine years ago um that's when you feel like you start getting success and then you do theaters and you're like oh shit man like there's that's a rarefied error of guys who get to do theaters and then arenas and you're like okay that's okay this is like I don't know against this this is like a gift and then but like that's when I started selling tickets to clubs and I was in control of my own destiny that's when when I could like do a promo video and then I watched take a show sellout and then I was like that's

when it matters right that's crazy I mean anyone can get booked in something you know yeah you know so Hollywood shit you fire when the job over like whenever the job over you fire you fire sometimes before the job starts yeah come off you ever hear those stories

guys go in for a table read you booked the you booked the role you sit down for the table read and someone doesn't like you and they're like get rid of them And then that person gets fired. And sometimes it's their show. It happened to Drew Carey.

Drew Carey had his own show. Went in, goes to the table read, and they're like, get rid of him. And you're like, oh, you can fire me. From my shit. From my shit. Yeah, it's crazy. They're going to get another motherfucker to play you.

Yeah. That's crazy. Hollywood's, it's so cool what's happening now with being in control of your own narrative and being able to do your own thing. Like stand-up, podcasting has changed game, exponentially. I mean, this isn't like,

there's never been anything like this. This is like Wild West shit, like Charlie Chaplin shit. And I think it's the coolest fucking thing that's ever happened. Especially to just hear other people's voices, you know? Like, for the longest time,

podcasting was just white dudes. It was. And then all of a sudden, you see your voices come out, like Cam and Mace, fucking, even like Pat McAfee, sports is changing.

Like, women, the murder mystery ones, I mean, I love history. podcast, but to see podcasting really blossom is like, dude, sky's the fucking limit. Yeah, I remember when the only,

I remember the first podcast I ever listened to was Bill Burr, and this was years ago when Burr was just They do it by himself, Monday mornings. Yeah. And now it's developed into something completely different. Like, you, I don't know if you've paid attention to, you know,

the climate of, you know, comedy on our side, but I got a question. Yes. Are you being fucking serious, the entire world is paying attention to that. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I'm just saying, you know, you gotta make sure you...

It's the biggest thing happening in comedy. Does that happen on the other end? What you said, see? Yeah. With, like, beefs and all of that stuff with you guys, and does it handle the same way? No, so, I'm saying this with respect, but so we

did that, what Kat did, we did like 12 years ago. We didn't know. Like, I mean this with respect to Kat. but like cat went on a podcast like my cap scores on a podcast he's wild on a podcast like it's almost like it's morning radio

do you remember when you do morning radio and you'd be like I don't want to hear that shit and you just go your hotel room jerk off and go to sleep like like no you wake up and got 10 missed calls but like

but like we we burned our bridge when we first started podcasting we talked wild shit about each other and it ruined a lot of friendships it ruined I had polarized fans like and so we don't do that anymore Like I'm just saying white dudes

Like we still talk shit It happens But our beefs are handled behind Behind the curtain Because I definitely did it I definitely did it I'm one of the people that did it And it was man I would never do it again

Talked about someone who stole a joke Called them out And then I did it about a couple people Where I was like just being real Like you're drunk You're high You're talking shit And I've done it recently

I mean I've done it recently And every time I go God damn it what the fuck is wrong with me is it just doesn't serve because you end up losing fans in it at it too it doesn't it doesn't help i mean you know but i mean i will say having said all that that fucking cat williams interview i'll listen to it like five times it was mesmerizing i listen to my gaps on all the smoke like i all i got i'm like i mean when cam and mace were talking about gang banging bitches i must have listened that clip a hundred fucking times

Why did you listen to that 100 days? It's just because, you know what it is? It's because that voice, that honesty is not often shared in media. Honesty. Where someone goes, you know, here's everything you need to know about me. I'm not going to lie to you. I am broken. I am flawed.

This is it. Have it what you may. And it's refreshing. It's fun, man. It's what I love about what you guys do is it's honest and refreshing and fun. when Rick Ross just disappeared. You can't create that. On the Today Show, that's not fucking happening.

Yeah, I don't know how refreshing that was, but it was honest. It was so funny. You guys going, wait, is he coming back? Like, you guys ever lived back. We knew he wasn't coming back. Like, that wasn't a thought at all. We just was trying to figure out

what we were going to do now. God. All right, so what we're doing? You know what I mean? Like, how many shows? How many TV shows? He didn't have shit to do with us. No.

No. Not at all. It's still one of the strangest what-the-fuck moments. Yeah, we'll live in for that. For sure. We'll live in for me for that. But, you know, I think that, you know,

you people, I forget what podcast I was on that somebody used you as an example in comparison to us in regards to success and what it looks like to be successful and, you know, getting to a certain level. So, like, what is it on the other side of the game? What is the bar for success? What do you guys judge it on?

You know what I mean? Because like over here, you know what I mean? We might look at somebody who, you know, get a Netflix special and that be it. You know what I'm saying? Is it the same or is it a different barometer that you judge success by? I don't know.

I think the target's always moving. Because, you know, what I thought was like really, really sexy in the business. Probably like five years ago, he's changed so much. and it's like you also, I have to redefine and allow myself to not be closed mind and go out, I'm going to try certain stuff.

Like, I mean, I did the movie and I didn't think I ever wanted to be an actor. I really didn't. I love stand-up, but I love podcasts. Like, this is my natural habitat is just shooting the shit. I love this more than anything. It doesn't feel like work, and I feel fulfilled. And so I never thought I wanted to be an actor. I was like, someone's going to tell me what to say,

and then they're going to tell me how to do it. And then I did a movie, and I was like, oh, this is the coolest thing I've ever done in my life. And so I now, I, for me, man, I don't, I just want, I really focus on stand-up. I want my stand-up to be so good. And I wanted to connect. I want people to go like, oh, that's my guy. Do you remember when, do you remember when we all first started and you find your guy

where you're like, God, man, I can watch him every fucking night. How does he do that? And you, this is the cool thing. I don't know if this ever happened with you guys, but you'd quote him with your chick. Like my wife and I would quote Davidel jokes Because we love David Tell She'd be like boogly, boogly watch out And it was like our inside joke

I want to do that Like I want that I want a transcend so that you can get into people's lives like that Where they're like You know and it happens sometimes But I think that's like when you're at your best You become a part of someone else's personality A little bit

No it happens if you Especially if you just put in work Wherever you're at And you're putting in Like there's so many people that come up And remind me a shit that I did and I'm like, man, I was terrible when I was doing

that shit. But they remember, you were like man, you was funny all the way back then when you was doing the shit on Wesley Chapel and you're like, what the fuck? Like, yeah, I wasn't even listening. But that's the people that ride with you the hardest and they put everybody on to you. You know what I'm

saying? I brought 12 people to your show. Yeah. When it wasn't number 13 people, one person bought 12. That's crazy. What made you start before what was your shirt off? I used to get sad on the road because I, you go, I'm... You don't know how it feels.

You don't know how it feels. You go to a club on a, you get there on Wednesday to do Thursday morning press. Yeah. And then you wake up Thursday night before the show and then 75 people and you're like, fuck. And then the manager's like, yeah, it doesn't look good this week.

And you're like, fuck. And so I would be like bummed. And I'd be like, why am I even doing this? I should be all with my kids. And then one night I was in Dayton, and I got on stage. He gave me a bucket of Heineken's, Doc. I got around Dayton. And I got on stage, and he was playing Ram Jam on the thing.

And he was, you can see him in the DJ booth. I can see his little head sticking out. And he was giggling. And I was like, this should be fun. I ripped my shirt off. The crowd, 75 people went nuts. And I was like, and I started laughing at how silly it is. And then I was like, okay.

So then if I ever felt that, I knew it all the time, I just ripped my shirt off, and it would cheer me up. And then I started doing a lot. And then one night in Columbus, Ohio, I ripped my shirt off, and something happened in the audience. And I started dealing with that. And then we started going, and then 20 minutes in, I was like, I'm going to put my shirt on.

And I was like, oh, I'm going to put my shirt on. This chick in the back goes, keep it off. And that's why I kept it off. But that was a dude. It was a man. That was a big bitch. In the back, a big bitch. That's what you got.

gotta tell you yeah she had socks on and crocs like she's like she was a big woman she and and then I did a shirtless and then I started liking it like I was like oh you know what what I'll do so I'll perform on the road shirtless and I'll do a special with a shirt on and I'll be like that much stronger it's like swimming with overalls on you know and then when I went to do a special I was like I can't I can't perform with a shirt I'm uncomfortable with a shirt on and that's my thing yeah I mean I'm one of the dopest pitches I ever seen to you was you in I don't know what arena you were in. It was used your shirt off like this.

Huh? That was Florida State? Yeah. I can see you. We did it right. We did it right back to back. You had the black power fists up. I was like, look at Burt.

I didn't even know you had models of the king of your bus. That's probably why you posed like that. But that was a crazy picture, man, just to see all those people in all of those lights. What did that feel like? You know what I mean? It was awesome. All of it's awesome. You have the same feeling.

Yeah, no, that's what I mean. And that's, that I want to get your perspective. It's such a great, like, my favorite moment is walking on stage. I have a couple favorite moments, but, like, getting ready to go on stage and knowing and seeing the arena stage, like, Allegiant, or TV Gardens. And you see that, and you're like, fuck, man, this is. This is with a self-explayed. Yeah, you know what I mean?

And it's sold out, and you go, and then you walk on. And then for me, the walk-on's great, right? But when I take my shirt off and you hear the pop. is that's like fucking that's intoxicating addictive and then my favorite now I don't like I said I'll cry like sometimes if you do a show and it's really hot and you say thank you know you know Greensboro thank you good night and if they all stand up quick like that it'll overwhelm me where you're like fuck and then I'll get I'll get emotional uh in um and where were we just at last weekend what In Toronto, in Toronto, where the Raptors play.

I got all, I was like, I'm working on a new hour. So I'm kind of tight with the first 25 definitely, but like the late part is a little sloppy, I think. But it was a tight, tight set. And I didn't, I did like 55 minutes and then told the machine. And when I said, Toronto, they popped up quick. And I started getting teary eye. And then they see you crying. And then they're like, they can fucking cry.

And they go even harder. And then you start getting teared up. You're like, I love you guys. You know who'd be up there like Michael Jackson? You know how he used to cry? He did? Yeah, Michael Jackson used to cry all the time, man. No way.

Yeah. I don't mind it. Yeah. I cry a lot. Yeah. I cry very easily. That should have hit you. Yeah.

I think it's because I think it's like the vulnerability when you have kids trying to open up a party that never was supposed to be opened. Yeah, you'd be crying at the, fuck it, the little commercials. I heard you say somewhere you love Miss Pat. Then the Kroger Valentine's Day shit. Miss Pat is funny as hell. Miss Pat's, my daughter's aunt, auntie. Really?

Wow. Yeah, she, they, Miss Pat's been a part of my life for a long time. I met her. This is my best, this is one of the best Miss Pass stories, in my opinion. So I, we're doing podcasts. Like, we're all doing Rogan at the time, but, and then we all start our own podcast. It's got to be like 12 years ago or something. And, uh, I'm Indianapolis, and someone hits me up on Twitter, and they're like,

you need to interview Miss Pat, and they tag. And Ms. Pat's like, I'm in Indianapolis, let's do it. So I reach out. I'm like, hey, I'm going to do Bob and Tom in the morning. But then let's do a podcast after that. She was like, okay. So I do Bob and Tom. And all the person said the thing is ask her about when her nipple got shot off.

And so I come back to my room. This is so funny to me. I come back, Miss Pat shows up with her son, who's like, I think, like 30 at the time. and Pat and then Pat and I sit through a podcast and her son takes off his shoes and socks and gets in my hotel bed and goes to sleep

he went to sleep in my bed and he just was like and he just started he snoring through the podcast and in my bed and I was like I'm not done sleeping in that bed and yes to fuck you are until I wake up but yeah she murder man

she was she's so good and I've known Pat forever I love her to death I took her on my cruise. She brought all the black people, like 25. And that was all her family. And they, man, they made the cruise so much fucking fun. Yeah, we definitely fun. Mr. Luke to Ms. Pat.

He said she brought all the black people. So if she wouldn't have been there, it would have been no. It would have been zero. Not even, I don't think anyone that worked on the cruise was black. What are the white people say when that happens? Do they just wait until it's almost over and then they're like? wait five minutes when they pull off and ain't no black people

and they were like, another successful event. Got their ass again. There'd be one black dude another all white baby here. Hurry up. Pull off, pull off. He's almost here.

You know that. Go, go, go, go, go, go. Go, go. Go, go. Go, go. Go, go. You know they're fast. Put the vote in speed. Come on. Come on, come on.

He might. He might catch them. Right. Just wait. I'll put into the event. y'all realize it's an all-white party. And now you're like, hey, now turn this motherfucker up. Go all in my change.

Someone's my sister, Christian. Go all of my ride. You don't believe me. It's why. Nigger, nigger, nigger. Nika, nigger. He didn't say bruno more. He didn't eat.

Trinidad James. Yeah. I love Trinidad James. Hell yeah. Pop to Molly. I'm sweating. Woo! They got one with a Rick James Wood.

in it, though. I mean, Rick Flap. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's fucked up. Man, that's so fucked up. I'm personally a big Joe Rogan fan, but I love to go of Joe Rogan. Man, I listen to Joe Rogan, even when I know they bullshit. Yeah, exactly, man. I love to go to Joe Rogan.

Yeah, I can talk about dinosaur feathers and shit. Brother, I can make that call. There's a couple. One thing about Joe, he'll correct this shit in real time, too. Yeah. Like, he'll find out some shit right there, and the motherfucker look it up. And the motherfucker will be like, hold on, this is what it actually. So I, you know what?

I fuck with that. Joe's smart as fuck. Yeah, man. He's smart as fuck. He likes, you know. I just had been a fan since he was making people eat cockroaches and shit on Fifth Factor. He didn't make them do nothing. No, I mean, not making it.

You're right, you're right, you're right. Don't put that back. I mean, I don't want to put that on you, Joe. Let's eat the most inches of this horse penis will advance to the next round. Yeah, yeah. Throw me a zim, would you? Huh? Them show them.

Huh? Push do it. Push do it. Push do it. Push do it. He doesn't have to eat the moose sticks. Push through it. Push through it.

Push through it. Come on. He doesn't have a throw up reflex. He doesn't throw up. He doesn't throw up. He's watched so much of that shit, it just doesn't bother him anymore. I can see that. I can see that, bro.

Yeah. Yeah, Rogan, man, Rogan's the best. And he's interested in so much shit. Like, do you guys play pool at all? He's obsessed with billiards. Fliiards. Like, obsessed. Oh, no, he's like, he's like competition level.

Oh, okay. Like, when you, when you, we got a new house, we got a pool table in it. And I called him and I was like, hey man, like, why's so a good pool queue? I don't know anything about pool cues. And he was like, stop. I'll take care of it. The next week, like, fucking $10,000 worth of pool cues show up in my house. All beautiful in-legged graphite.

And they're like, this is from Joe. You know, like, he's very generous. but he's like he's got really cool interests like you and him will get along crazy you know that right because he's a car guy oh hell yeah he's a real and he's your car guy

he got some six the shit you're into is what he's into right well yeah I go up then just imagine man Joe yeah man what do you know about Valenciagos nothing nothing no nothing no I'm sure you can get in contact

with somebody who knows you know me but yeah I definitely will love that so much of this shit me too man A little dude he had on there who said he went chasing a dinosaur in the Congo and shit. That's the shit I'd be walking through the airport listening to. Me too. Sometimes I just need to hear that type of shit.

The conversations, the people that he get on there, it's like, yo, these people are real people. And you don't have any access to hearing these stories anymore. I think because once they scrub YouTube, the original YouTube, all the good content that was on there where you can get all of these stories and information. Like, he's the only place that somehow they don't scrub the shit when you go to Joe Rogan and talk about it. Like, people go and say stuff that I know you're not supposed to be able to say that CIA agent dude that he had on there that told all himself. I'm like, yo, how is this on, how are we watching this right now? I don't understand how he gets some of his guests. There's two things I don't understand about Joe, how he's so, he's interested in his shit, but he does the research also.

So, like, if he has a guy that is denying AIDS, Joe's done all the virus research to go in to have that conversation. Like, I can't do that. Like, he, like, sometimes he'll talk to me, and I'll just tap out, like, he can see it in my eyes. Like, he'll be like, what do you know about simulation theory? And I go, I'm not listening. I don't drink similex. Word.

Word up. Man, you guys should do Rogan, because he's, it would be a fun conversation. Yeah, I would love to talk to Joe. just to see the lot of questions. What's that? What's Austin like now down there? I feel guilty that I don't know of this. I feel like that's a pandemic thing.

Like, I mean, I don't know if it coincided with it, but it seemed like at the same time when shit was shutting down, that was also kind of popping. Yeah, Joe moves Austin, Tommy moved to Austin, Tim Dillon moved Austin, Shane Gillis lives in Austin. Everyone lives in Austin now. And Joe's Club, man.

What is it about Austin? It's Texas. Texas is all about freedom, it's like a liberty, it's almost like a libertarian, it's, it's a Republican, really, but it's almost about libertarian, about like, don't fucking come on my land, I'll kill you, you know, that's Texas a little bit. So basically, Austin, don't tell me to wear a mask, and don't tell me to get vaccinated. Austin is, Austin is not too difficult for white people. Wait, is Houston. I thought Houston was Vietnamese. It's white people's Atlanta. No, Nashville is white people is white people. I don't know about that. Nashville's white people's white people. I don't know about that. By the way, this is my favorite thing to do in the world. Keep going. Nashville is definitely white people Atlanta.

You think Nashville is white people in Atlanta. Patterson, New Jersey is Albanians Atlanta. I don't feel like... What did you just say? Patterson, New Jersey is Albanians Atlanta. Okay, okay. I love this. I do.

I love this more than anything. So wait, so they keep going. So Houston is Vietnamese as fuck because they're adjacent longitudes. So the same shit. The same shit you get in Houston and in New Orleans. They got the profits restaurants and all that little shit down there. It's the same as Vietnam. You're going to be a numb.

Man, can I tell you something that blew my mind? We had dinner with the Hulu tribe in Africa. And they made us dinner. We're in outfits, like the Hulu outfits, the warrior outfits. And the guy starts seeing us dinner. And I said, damn it, man, this tastes like fucking Cracker Barrel. Like, it tastes like soul food. It tastes like what my wife.

what my wife my wife makes and they said yeah it's the same it's the same all the same ingredients soul food really is from Africa I didn't understand that I did not get that your wife from Africa? No no more from Georgia oh okay so like everything

you know everything food here is all Jason yeah and so like so like black eyed peas cornbread collard greens we do this every New Year's Eve every New Year's day we have collard greens black eyed peas

cornbread. Every black family in America for the most part. It's for luck, right? Yeah. You do it for luck? Yeah, you got to have the greens for the money. Grains for the money. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

Don't say, I'm facing on my wife. I'm faced with my wife. He looks hot in that picture. I don't do that, because I don't know what that leads to. Hold on. So, watch. So wait, I can't believe you're saying this. I thought this was my wife's family.

I didn't know that this was this bitch better answer. I didn't know that. She's going to say this. She's all this big sheep. You think I'm laying in bed and I go, what do you watch this? She goes, 85 South. God damn it. Boosey's so good.

Boosey's so good. He really is gold, man. Like, he doesn't, he takes his moments when it, in a podcast. And I got to get my wife to call back because she, we do greens for money, black arpeas for luck. The cornbread. Like, we have the whole, we do this. That every year we throw a big party.

Every black family in America has been doing that. Really? Yeah. Can I introduce you that? Some people eat pork, you know what I mean? Some people say you got to have pork. Put turkey in there, you know what I mean? It just depends on how you do it.

But that's my whole life. Every New Year's Day. Every New Year's Day. Every New Year's Day, that's what you eat. God, man. What about can I turn you guys on a Chinese New Year's? I've heard about it. It's so good.

You love it. You dress all in red. When is it? It's in January. It's a Lunar New Year's. I call Chinese New Year's. I'm sure that's not what you're supposed to call it. But, like, is our best friends are Chinese, the one is.

And you just go group, and you get, you get, it's all about gambling and being loud, right? It's all about gambling and being loud. You wear red, you wear red, and you go in, you get crisp $1 bills, all ones. I do whatever year it is. I do $2,024, $2,0.24, $1 bills. And then you make the kids gamble, you gamble, and you drink, and you yell and you loud and you and they my friend has a dragon come in like they it's we go to the next level what the fuck you never done it i was talking about man because he

vietnamese he's like yeah yeah vietnamese yeah vietnamese does lunar new year yeah and it's it's good it's and it's all about luck it's all about luck if you do it right yeah i don't want to i don't want to where the fuck y'all get a dragon from bro you go to the you know you go to the Chinese cultural center and you go, yo, we want to hire

because it's, it's, they're part of the culture. Yeah, yeah, they come in with the paper dragon. It was talking about.

And so, everybody's going to know. So the big things, you're swissed my little kids out of their blood. I thought she was talking about. Just big gamut. Put it on there.

I got a video. I got a video. I regretted. So they do, we do Chinese New Year's. I'm dressed. I go on Amazon. I got an Asian outfit,

right? Oh, shit. shoes like beautiful shoes asian top to bottom beautiful all silk and then i go and i get ones i go hard in the paint when it comes celebrating when it comes to partying i like the thing right and it's all about luck chinese new year is all about luck so we go in they bring the dragon uh uh fucking oliver stone was there random as fuck oliver stone shows up to this party and and and all the children are done and it's all about money and throwing money around and being loose with money and gambling and it's good luck to make it rain on people and so I was there and they were like hey can

you make it rain on the children and so I'm shirtless drunk I got a cigar on my mouth and I'm on a ladder with like 20 Vietnamese Asian kids just going come on they just like like and I did it and they go can we post that on our social like no they did they did they did they did I like damn dude that video that video got in and off the internet and I was like thank you

yeah for real then I went up to Oliver Stone I went up to Oliver Stone Drugs Fuck with the thousand He did you some money on his He optioned the rights to my life when I was in college

I was how I mean theoretically I don't want to get the weeds on him but that's how the damn Wilder movie ended up and so I went up to him Drugs fuck and I was like you know you know your heroes where you have your hero

and you have your sentence plan to what you're gonna say like do you have a sentence plan if you see Michael Jordan do you have a sentence ready hell yeah what is it oh I love this

hell yeah I got a sentence ready hey man fuck you too Mike I was just trying to say hi nigga the fuck man you ain't even had to talk to me

like that I gotta say something back to Mike because I've heard stories about how Mike do niggas they say Mike do nickers greasy

you're a man walking up to Jordan hey man I just want to make it your hand away from me poor ass nigger Like I was saying, baby, I'm going to go ahead and get to, and you're just standing there looking.

Is you like that? That's what I've heard. That's what a comedian is said. Norrie, too. Oh, yeah, comedian, I heard that story too. Yeah, Norie too. I would hope that. Norie said it.

I would hope, yeah, Norie said, man. Somebody introduced him to Joe, and Joon looked at him and said, fuck rap. And kept having a conversation. So I would hope that I would be able to say something nice, I said, I would hope that I would be able to have a conversation with Jordan and let him know how amazing he is, but just... Okay, ready, I'll be Jordan.

Just in case... Just in kidding, but no, I don't want to practice. I'll be Jordan, ready? I'll be Jordan. No. And let's get you off guard. No, no. Let's, I'll be Jordan.

No. I'm going to say some deep cut stuff. This is why I'm not going to do that, right? Ready, ready? Because this is the reason I'm not going to do it, because if I ever run into a... Are you going to do your voice? You say this? He's going to go, you rehearse.

La, you the motherfucker was talking that white man, what, you, nigger? Hey, get the fuck out my face. Go holl at Burt, motherfucker. Take my shoes off, too, nigger. Take my shoes off? Nah, boy, not going like... Y'all, y'all, uh, comedy duo, huh?

Oh, you got... You got a joke. So I guess you better go on to throw him Scotty. So you, Scottie, boys, Greg, y'all just been sitting around, talk shit about me. And then you can't say that,

because if you do Charles Oakley will smack the shit out of you. So it's like, it's just a lose, lose, man. Out of all this shit you never did, that'd be the one clip you've seen. Oh, you're the motherfucker who said, okay. Right. Who's your guy? Like, who would be your guy? Do you got your sentence planned?

Oh, I don't plan. You've met a lot of, like, all our hero, oh, man, I mean, I mean, I meant, Martin. I'd have met a few of, quite a few of, you should have saw your face. That was the dumbest thing I've ever said on a podcast That's the dumbest thing I've ever said on a podcast That's the dumbest thing I've ever said to the podcast

Burt believe in time travel He believe in time travel Shut the fuck up Hold on, shut the fuck out Now you see why I don't do no shit That's why he said a good shit But no, he looked at him every day I was real, hold on, stop

I was real He was doing serious I was real, I was real I was fine, I'm fucking hard, I'm fucking Why? He doesn't see how he looked at me. I was like, Mark, you met Martin Luther King? Hold it up.

The fuck, true. I should leave. I should fucking leave. This is a fucking waste of my time. I already have white fans. I don't know what the fucking do in here. Fucking, what am I got a crossover? Jesus, fuck.

You know, Martin Luther King. No. I met Martin Lawrence. Yeah. I was talking about Martin Lawrence, not Luther King. This is the best thing I've never been a part of my podcast. This is I'm social. I'm so sorry.

I was my name of his shoes. But, yeah, that was Martin Lawrence I was referring to. Not, not, I don't have a sense. That's what this couch do. Because you see motherfuckers and you catch you off guard. What the fuck? You got to have one.

Like, like, I don't know. I see, I'm easy. Like, I can kind of not be a fan of someone, but if I save a person, I get excited to meet him. Like, I'll be like, shut the fuck up. Tata Perry. you're amazing, like I'd lose my shit,

but I'm not a big Totta Perrin fan, but if I met him, I know the shit he's done, and all of a sudden that, it will overwhelm me. And I'll be like, God damn it, like, Medea. Dude, I saw, I saw Medea movie. You start doing quotes. Eller.

The studio, you ain't never been to the studio? No. But that studio crazy now. Yeah. And somebody just worked over there. The studio is so. Yeah. For real, it's big.

It's big. It's big. Like, they're crazy. Like, I'm a casual Nick Cannon fan. Like, I knew him when he was a child through Will. We both had deals at the same time. And I'd geek out if I saw Nick Cannon. I'd geek out.

I'd be like, dude, I'd be geeked out of his fucking Whisk Caliphah. Like, I was just like, because I follow him doing the kickboxing shit, and I think it's cool as fuck. I didn't think he's cool. I can't help him, man. I'm 51 years old, and I don't need to, and I'm famous. I don't need to introduce myself to people. But if I see you, I'll come up and be like, dude, I'm a big fan, like a child.

Yeah, I do that too. I love it, man. I met Doug Williams, quarterback for the Bucks. My hero growing up, my hero growing up. Redskins, really. No, no, no, the Bucks. I was a kid in Tampa. We didn't have any civic pride.

We didn't have the Falcons or the Hawks. No Dominique. We had no one, we had Doug fucking William. The old school books. Yeah. With the cream sickle uniform. Yeah, with the knife in his mouth. Yeah.

Oh, fancy power. The worst team to pick on Temple Bowl. Yeah, the worst, yeah, no one's on Technoble. Nobody picked the points on the Super Bowl. Them and the Old Patriot's uniform is the worst uniform. Old Patriot uniforms are fucking badass though now. Like now? Old Patriot is a red, huh?

Which one? The old Patriot where the Patriot was a door. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Way, way down. Yeah, uh-huh. That shit crap. Shut up. Fucking wrong with y'all.

Wait, what was Martin Luther? What was Martin, not Lauren. What was Martin Lawrence like? Oh, man, Martin is one of the, one of the, I'm talking about realest people I've ever met, man, to be able to, and it's, for me, it was, I grew up watching this dude every day. Like, this, we would mimic this person. Like, we would, like, he raised our generation, his show. We still, as black people from our generation, especially our generation, we still watch it every time it's on, even though we've seen every episode 10 times. And you're going to watch it every time.

impactful he is as an entertainer all across the board but when I met him the way he treated me just made me appreciate the fact that you can get to this level and still be this type of dude that's the thing you know it's like I think I'm I probably paid that text too far but man when people give you a little bit of generosity with their time and they're famous it it I don't think they realize how much it lands on us where you go like you didn't have to be nice. I'm at Shaq today. Shack's like a, I grew up

in Tampa, when School, Floor State or the Magic showed up when I was a kid. And Shaq showed up with Penny and I was like, that was the, that was like it brought a civic pride to be a part of Florida. And Shaq didn't have to be the nicest guy in the world, but he was.

And then you walk away and you're like, that's the motherfucker. And then I say this to us because I think we're all a little bit in the situation is then that should dictate how you behave with your fans. Where you go, like, let me give you a second. I saw you do it. You know, I follow you guys like crazy.

I do, I do. I'm obsessive about it. When I get into something, I get into it. And I love it. I love it. I watch fucking DC Unquide go to his old, his, he went to his old high school. And, like, had lunch with the lunch there. And like a pair of like slide, socks, shorts, and a wife beater.

And went back and hung out of his high school. And I love that kind of shit. I watched you, you were doing, I was when you guys were doing the vlog. you were doing a show and you drove out in your car so people came out to see your car you took the time to talk about your car Rogan does that Rogan's generous with his time

like he'll give you love and it's that dictates to me how I behave I mean I've gotten too far with that I used to tell everyone what bar I was going to after the theater and then we'd all go to the bar I'd take pictures for an hour because I'm just so

I feel so lucky to be there you know because we all came up in the same like road clubs where like when I was at Greensboro and at the Communist Zone I walked by that club and I actually had a second where I paused and I thought

how crazy it's a little bit of Survivor's remorse how crazy is that I got out of that system because that system's dirty that system wants you to do drugs and fuck their waitresses and fucking and do one hour that always kill so you can get pussy at the end of the night but you gotta be the guy that goes

but I want to be better than that and I want to create and it's and it's got to be a thing it's inside of you because if it's not, you get stuck in that system. And then you're the guy that's like the king of Greensboro. You know he's probably still there. You probably know the guy that started. And he's like, yeah, fuck you.

They get bitter and jaded. Yeah, but no, the guy that was the big name. He actually does Carnival Cruise Lines now. But I know who you said. His name was Chris Wiles. His name is Chris Wiles. He was the man, but he moved on and, you know, he does the Conval Cruise Lines now.

But he was the king of the Comedy Zone in Greensboro. That's the thing you got to get out of. is being the king, it's a big fish in a little pond. It's like, you know, put me in the biggest pond, right? Because you're not growing if you're not in a big pond. You just get a certain size. But what I will say to his credit is that he did open up his platform to the young comics, so I'm a product.

I'm coming out of that room. Well, those guys are different. Those guys that give you a chance to put you on, and sometimes you'll leapfog past them, and they're still cool. Oh, that's my God. That's the fucking best. It's crazy, like, it's crazy how different we are as men, right? Our paths in life.

But we do connect on comedy, and that it's a little bit of an equalizer is that we've all had rough sets. We all had to do the humiliating thing where you do the open mics. Yeah. And you get confused about your career and you don't know what you're doing and you're reaching out to your friends, you're leaning on your friends. It's like the cool thing, when I moved to New York, I thought, you know, Tallahassee is pretty segregated.

is fam and it's Florida State and when I moved to New York and we'll maybe see y'all at Bullwinkle but other than that yeah we get our shit and y'all at y'all shit it's kind of crazy that that exists

or it used to be I wonder once in the southern state Wake Forest is this the same way Wake Forest Central State's too different world you'll be on fam you shit and never come across nobody outside of anybody like you yeah the same day for FSU

you know I mean it'll be more sparse The black dudes at FSU all play football. And they had white people at FAMU. Yeah, they did. Oh, there's a comic. There's a comic I know that went to FAMU, white dude. I forget his name. I'm sorry, man.

But, like, when I moved to New York, it was real. I mean, my big thing was that I did Coke, and, like, all the black comics did Coke. So I... In Miami? In L.A. In New York, everyone still did Coke. And, like, and no white comics were sober. And so that's how I got to meet the black comics.

Like, all, like, Tony Wood. Oh, fuck. Damn We're gonna edit it out Please edit that out Yeah we'll edit that out Yeah we'll edit that out We need that out

We want to be known No God damn I'm sorry I'm fucked up I'm fucked up Don't worry about it I think Bartlett The King was there

That's wrong What the fuck's wrong with me guys Joe? He's definitely You know what he's gonna do Hey man Art I had to put it out man

He had to put it out man over there looking at the monitor, it don't work. That monitor is playing Tetris, and he is... All right, okay, but you have a party... Delete that, redacted. All the black comics did coke. No, not all the black comics did code. No, no, I know.

You were looking for the cocaine! I was partied, man. I got down. I got down. I was out of college. I was young. I got down. And I just had some cool fucking night.

I had some really cool nights where you sit up and there was nothing about anything just talking comedy. Just talking comedy. This is a sad. What are you up to, bro? Nothing just hanging out with some black dudes. Just doing some coke.

For my heart podcasts and Rococo Punch, this is the turning, River Road. I knew I wanted to obey and submit, but I didn't fully grasp for the rest of my life, what that meant. In the woods of Minnesota, a cult leader married himself to 10 girls and forced them into a secret life of abuse.

Why did I think that way? Why did I allow myself to get so sucked in by this man and thinking to the point that if I died for him, that would be the greatest honor? But in 2014, the youngest of the girls escaped and sparked an international manhunt. For all those years, you know, he was the predator and I was the prey. And then he became the prey.

Listen to The Turning River Road on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions, and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all, childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health struggles, and more, and found the shrimp to make it to the other side. My dad was shot and killed in his house. Yes, he was a drug dealer,

yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on the street corner, He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal. He was shot in his house, unarmed. Pretty Private isn't just a podcast. It's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Your entire identity has been fabricated.

Your beloved brother goes missing with you. out a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness, the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro, and these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets. With over 37 million downloads, we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you, stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be told. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of family secrets.

Listen to Family Secrets, Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The OGs of Uncensored Motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the host of the Good Mom's Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday. Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened.

And all that stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your tribes. With guests like Corinne Steffens. I've never seen so many women protect predatory men. And then me too happened. And then everybody else wanted to get pissed off because the white said it was okay. Problem. My oldest daughter, her first day in ninth grade, and I called to ask how I was going.

She was like, oh, dad, all they were doing was talking about your thing in class. I ruined my baby's first day of high school. And slumflower. What turns me on is when a man sends me money. Like, I feel the moisture between my legs when the man sends me money. I'm like, oh, my God, it's go time. You actually sent it? Listen to the Good Mom's Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network.

The IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you go to find your podcast. Adventure should never come with a pause button. Remember the Movie Pass era, where you could watch all the movies you wanted for just $9? It made zero cents and I could not stop thinking about it. I'm Bridget Todd, host of the tech podcast, there are no girls on the internet. On this new season, I'm talking to the innovators who are left out of the tech headlines. Like the visionary behind a movie pass, Black founder Stacey Spikes, who was pushed out of movie pass, the company that he founded. His story is wild and it's currently the subject of a juicy new HBO documentary.

We dive into how culture connects us. When you go to France, or you go to England, or you go to Hong Kong, those kids are wearing Jordans, they're wearing Kobe's shirt, they're watching Black Panther. And the challenges of being a Black founder. Close your eyes and tell me what a tech founder looks like. They're not going to describe someone who looks like me and they're not going to describe someone who looks like you. I created There Are No Girls on the Internet because the future belongs to all of us. So listen to there are no girls on the internet on the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What does that feel like?

What is cocaine? You never done it? No. And I won't. Let me just tell you. No. Cocaine is better than wet pussy. You are a fucking liar.

That's what you are. You remember the first time. How are you doing it? How do you do it? The king shit. You got the game. Fucked up, sir. Hold on.

You never know what's not? No. You never don't cocaine? No. So it delivers, right? It delivers. Do you remember the first time you didn't wear a column and you were like, oh, shit? This is different.

Right? Cocaine does that same thing to you. The same thing, it goes, it goes, we got superpowers. We could rip a tree out of the ground if we wanted to. You don't know how it feels. That's no way. Seriously. You feel that powered up.

That's the confidence. That's the wild cup. So lick a lick with courage, the cocaine is. A lot of people do coke and just do coke. A lot of people, like, not everyone's addicted to it. But you do coke and you do something. You don't just do coke and go back to sleep. No, you go up, you stay up.

Watch the sunrise in New York. You get these electric blue sunrises. They're fucking beautiful. Like, I'll never trade these days. I have no regrets. Obviously, I have my children listening. I don't want them to do anything I did. I don't want a kid out there to do what I did.

I will tell you, an electric blue sunrise with some coke, a little bit of oasis, a little bit of oasis playing in the background, and you're fucking out there just going, man, I'm fucking getting after it. This is, it was the coolest time of my life. And then you just don't do coke. Like, coax? So you can't, dude, the sunrise ain't electric if you ain't on cocaine. Buddy.

It's acoustic. A cocaine sunrise. There's no. There's nothing like it. There's nothing like it. And there's men I know that you're friends with, I know, that are going, I know he's talking about. It's fucking awesome.

Yeah, they watch it right now. Part of my head. Oh, I'm living my way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they just don't do it. Like, you just don't do it.

I mean, it's like, I'm not like a big attic. I love getting into shit, but like, just stop doing stuff. Getting into shit. What's your limit for getting into shit? Uh, it's, it's a little bit. It's, it's not. like a barometer of like if people look sideways at you so you know heroin no i've done it but like well it's pharmaceutical heroin everyone's done pharmaceutical heroin you got it no i got it's

yeah no like oh okay i've done i've done that you drank codeine before fuck yes come on that's brother brother you don't understand how black i am like when i heard about lean when i heard about lean Me and my buddy is like... God damn it, man. He's talking about his liver. Jesus. You don't know how black he is. He pulled to Joe Biden.

Bert. Bert. If you don't drink Lean, give me more. Dude, when I first heard about Lean, I go, I'm crying this shit. I'm getting a styrofoam cup. I'm getting Jolly Rancher.

I'm getting Sprite. I'm getting Cody. And we got, we got, lean is awesome. It is so good. They don't understand. What you are in? But shit. Maybe another drink.

These guys, the greatest, man. Have you ever had lean? No. What? Dude. He's baffled. Lean is really fucking great. It is really great.

No, man. I got to say, I'm jaded, though. I come from out of a community. And, you know, I come from drug. There are no beautiful sunrises when you see people who don't know where I'm from. A lot of sunsets, boy. Sunset, don't never come back out. Remember how this is the way I look at cocaine, anything, white, anything.

Remember how Mufasa was telling Simba, like, don't go over there. Don't go over there. Do not go there. That's where, that's the way I look at. anything cocaine heroin any of that no no I've seen it do some treacherous things to to family and friends man I'm good yeah that's why I asked like what is it like because it's a lot at all I've done is all I've done is a lot and it's uh is if it's just recreational drug use yeah but it's like it's good

go ahead let me hit the pole also you want some we we still yeah please I'm having I'm not having a blacks talking to you guys. I don't want to mix it with the brown and the thing, but he's not going to drink it out of the bottle. No. It's good meat. I'm not meg and nostalgia. Why a vodka instead of all of the other drinks that you can do?

Hey, what they're doing driving the boat? They still do that. So I felt like, I felt like, I feel like, I'm going to use a car analogy. When you go to buy a car, you know what kind of car you want. No one's going to tell you, you should get a Kia. You're like, I don't want a Kia. I know what I want. And that's how I feel about whiskey, right?

And whiskey, people, you've got family ties to whiskey. I'm a Jameson family because we're Irish Catholic. And then Bush Mills is Irish Protestant, so, like, we don't fuck with bushmills. We drink Jameson. It's a tie. So I'm not going to fuck with whiskey. I felt like me and Tommy both fell.

I should say me and Tom. It's not just me. Me and Tom felt like tequila was a saturated market. You got Mark Wahlberg, you got the Rock, You got George Clooney. There's so many of tequila's out there, Sammy Hagar. And then I'm, you know, my Russian mafia story is obviously clear. I'm a big vodka.

But I was a big vodka drinker to lose weight. Like I just drink vodka soda because it was cleaner. I'd get up, I go workout the next day. And so we've, I said, let's lean into vodka. We're going to do wine. We had a lot of beers come at us. And then Tommy's real smart. I know you guys probably win your team.

You got one guy. I won't pick who it is, but I think I know. You have a Tommy, you have a Burt, like a wild person who's like all over the place. And then you got someone's like, hey, we do have to show up and get this done. And that's Tommy. And so he was like, yo, if we're going to do this, let's do this right. Let's me and you, invest in the company, put all our money in it. And then we'll build the company.

And no one tells us what to do. And then we went and we went through like, I mean, crazy amounts of vodka to taste that vodka. And that vodka is clean. It's round. really round. It's a good mixer, but more importantly, you can drink it on the rocks. And I'm really happy with it, man. And like I said earlier, you know, I'm not like a, I'm not a... Just soda water. You want soda water with it? It's so good. What's in the refrigerator, though? What's the name?

Dr. Pepper and water? No, that's all right. Dr. Pepper and water. Give me that Kool-Aid. No, just play. I can't do that. Close it. Close it. Leave it back. Close it. Why, wait, wait. Wait. We can do that. We got company. No, hold on. You know I'm the Kool-A guy, right? I know you're in the Kool-Aid man. Cule-A in the morning, man. Where do you get that from?

Where did that come from? You drink a Kool-A in the A.m. Yeah. A gallon, two gallons. What the fuck are you drinking? Well, fuck, just give us the recipe. Why is the one? Why would you do that?

It's so good. Can you give us the recipe before? Don't shun him. Are you not allowed to drink Kool-A now? In the morning, two gallons a day. Two gallons. I'm trying to get into a lot of where this comes from. You drink two gallons of cooler.

Who introduced you to Kool-Aid? I mean, Kool-Aid is for everyone. No, no, no. I mean, the type of Kool-Aid is for $2. Whoever had a lot of money. It was the same that I learned about cocaine. I believe that. No, no, no.

I've been drinking Kool-A in my whole life. I mean, but you know, the way. way you said it, you know, we're assuming that it's the type of Kool-A that we drink. No, it's not. So I've had, it's not, and I say that, I know that, because I've had Sulfu Kool-Aid. Yeah. Soul-Fu Kool-A, you're like, holy shit.

This is fucking addictive. Like, I feel a rush. Like, they're stirring up with their hands in the back. Like, it's fucking good. Sugar. But I do, I do. Hey. I do the, I do that.

They start hearing the Jefferson's end credit. He drank that shit. Dude, soulful kula is not healthy. What version of me were you drinking? I was drinking white people in Kool-Aid. They're like single-serving packs that are 10 calories. No, that ain't the same shit. No, it's not the same shit.

But it's Kool-Aid. I mean, for the namesake it is, but... But you never had that Kool-Aid? Hell no. Buddy, you got to have that Kool-Aid. It's so good. Which one? It's low-calorie Kool-Aid.

Oh, that's just... No, not bad. It's not bad. I always carry it. I've in my backpack. Got like a treat. Like, I love a treat. Kool-Aid.

How great is Kool-Aid if you get high? and you go and sit in your backyard and have a Kool-Aid. Not low-calorie Kool-Ays. Me. Me. I do. I take those little packets. Out of your hands. Put them in a growler, like an IPA growler.

Put it in a Yetty cup. Yeah, and it crushed ice, Kool-Aid, and I drink it all day long. And I, every time I put it to my lips, I go, yeah, man. Damn, Bert. I feel like I might be the white, first white person you ever had on the show. No, no, no, no, no, you're not. Who else have you had? You're the first, Andrew Shultz.

The first one, yeah. Mays, Dave, Mays, uh, we got more. I might be the first 50-year-old white person you've had to go. Yeah, certainly. Paul Wall, yeah, pulling a grill. You're the first white person that we've had on the show that is entrenched in whiteness enough to be able to help us understand it from a perspective we've never got before. Well, I'll tell you all the secrets.

about blue sky cocaine. Who? I got a white people question. What time do white people go to bed? Every time you ride past the white people neighborhood, everybody's sleep. Yeah, sleep's really important. What time do white people go to bed?

Do you track your sleep? Yeah. You do? Mm-hmm. How do you sleep? Excellent. What's your heart rate? Resting heart rate.

What type of shit is that? I track mom. I track mom. I tracked my fucking sleep. Let me hear your heart. 56 piece per minute when I sleep. And I track my sleep. What's tracking?

Like, you put some shit on? No, who's wearing it on my wrist. And it gives me all my stats. I wake up in the morning. I get really excited. I check my sleep. I wake up, I go, wonder how I slept. And then I'll check it.

You don't know? No. Oh. The whooop tells me if I slept good. Wooop. There is. Look, you over woover. Oh, yeah.

You hit different. The, uh, the, but yeah, we go to sleep early. To see him not know what he to fuck that in? No, he tried. I can't see it. I can't see it. Oh, yeah. I can't see it.

Yeah. He's like, he's like, it's different. I feel like I'm supposed to say something. I don't know what it is. They hear different. The whoops. You over whoop it because you don't know what the whoops is. What's the who's?

Those are the whoops. Those. Y.B.J. main, serious. Listen. I'm, I can pretend to be something. I'm just going to be me. I'm just going to be me.

That's what's funny about it. I don't know what it is. But that's the beautiful shit about everybody that, you know, be who the fuck you are. Yeah, that's the shit. That's the cool part about it. Like, we know that it's genuine. Like, you know what I mean? Even when I've seen you talk about us, like, you know how you can see somebody saying something

because it's cool to say at the time? Like, you really, I can tell, like, no, this dude really watches us. He really fucks with us. I've seen interviews that you've done and you've talked about us. And I'm like, yo, that's dope. Burt, fuck with us, man. Because, you know, we tour with the same, some of the same, you know. Yeah, exactly.

So, you know, he, you hear it from somebody, but, you know what I mean? To see you say it somewhere, it's like, oh, shit, he really do. Because, you know, you thinking somebody just comes out, yeah, Bert loves you guys. And then you meet us, I'm like, the whoops. You're like, what's your name? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know who these guys are, but you really are a fan. Like, me and him, to me and him to DM a lot about cars.

me said you were going to grab one what happened I'm gonna be the one to say it I bring it up the Cadillac to drive across the country and do a comedy tour in what happened I sent him about 30 of them I knew you did not send me 30 it was 23 yeah I said three I sent a I didn't know you just sent me the link to that page I started going through the baby blue one they sell them all the time

then you I went into that page and they had the they had the link in Continental with the suicide door You can start getting into that shit. The problem is with cars, cars are like women. If you got a big dick and you walk into a- If I'm talking from our right perspective. If you have a big dick. You can't just assume it with white guys.

I love that you said if. Here, I'll see you a picture of mine right now. Oh, good. Hey. Hey. Do you ever take pictures of you did? Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, you say, you say you. We watched Cam and Mace pause their whole situation just didn't.

Then a follow-up question was worse. You ever take pictures of yours? Sir. Never? What? Today. I did it today. It looked good.

I was like. Who? You? How are you? Yeah. I say it for me. It's look very. Let's all rest in the silence.

Time out, Bert. Yeah. You see. Let's go back to my analogy about cars and big things. Okay, so. Well, no, no, no, no, let's not go back yet. No, no, no, you almost got me. You might as well let him fucking finish.

He took us so far that we'll be back to the beginning part that was blended. No. No. Hey, man. You can break a microphone. Use a better analogy. That's how you know. So, like, okay, okay, cars are like if you go into a club and you're a hot dude, a good-looking guy.

Well, then every chick, you go, whatever, whatever, whatever. Does someone recognize this? I don't know. It's like, you can go look at one car and you're like, I'm going to go home with her. And then you see another car. You're like, wait, well, I'm going to, and you end up messing around and not go home with anyone because you can't really focus. If you're an ugly guy and you see a car, you're a girl, you're like, if she likes me, I'll go home with her. And so I got on this website, like a hot guy at a bar and was like, there's so many good cars that was like, I don't, yeah, I started going like, I wanted that baby blue Cadillac and then I wanted the suicide doors or a badass look. And then you start going Well, fucking hold on

I really like the Monte Carloz Or like a cool throwback car Like I remember those cars I remember that was the first Like badass sports car That didn't look like a sports car And then I started looking at Lincoln

Lincoln Lincoln had a Yeah, mom Is that's like a mockate Fucking And then you start And then especially in this The tricky thing is if you have a little bit of money, you start going, like, I can afford that.

I can actually get the- You got a lot of money. I got, you got more money than me. What the fuck? We don't. Bullshit. I don't send no shit like that. No, we don't. We don't have more money.

He will. He'll fuck around and pull his bank account up. Look, look, look, see it. You got it. You won't do that. No, you can find my bank account online. Why? Is that people, that's how the internet works.

Like, when you, when you, you're back. You're accurate. No, no, no. No, no. It works not accurate. Your touring income is online. Like, people know what you make. Don't stop.

It's on. Please, what are we doing here? It's posted. Jesus. When you do it, when you guys do an arena, listen, just like when you guys run Netflix and you guys trend in number one. When you guys trend in number one,

you can't change it, that's real. And when you guys did those arenas, that gross you earned, that went into a magazine called Polestar. Yeah, Polestar. And so I know what you guys make. You guys make fucking legit, fucking money.

Who said that? Polestar. Do you guys tour arenas? What do you fucking know who Polestar is? Fuck, bro. We don't know nothing about that. You don't understand. Yeah, we don't use North Star.

Yeah, we don't use none of that. That's how we get everywhere. My wife's a redneck. All-N-Star didn't understand her. Yeah, it's what I'm saying. She would go, I don't stop. Giams-Hose-Han-Holl. And El-Star, I'd be like, excuse me?

Bobby Bouchet. She's a redneck. Really? Bout of Georgia. Yeah, you guys see this. But I say that. Like Carrollton, you know that? I say that because it's like over here

that you don't want nobody to know. Do you have money? Yes. You got money. Yeah, but you're fine. You're fine. You can have all of the money. Not like fuck you money.

Close enough. No. What's you money? A billion? No. You can get to fuck you. If you get into the hundreds of millions? A hundred is fucking million.

That's fucking you money. You can lose that too, though. My fucking be losing that. No, ain't nobody. No, not me. Hamma ain't lose a hundred million. I'm sorry, my man. Hammy ain't lose a hundred million.

Ain't no way Hamma lost a hundred million. No, that's what he said. Just like we're saying, we don't know what the fuck Bert's talking about. Yeah, we don't know what, Bert's talking about. What would you do with fuck you money? Like, do you think you still do stand-up? I'm saying, like, right now, right now, right now, right now Tyler Perry comes in, he goes, I love what you guys do.

I would love to just buy the format for $700 million and then I'll buy you guys out and I love the format you can do whatever you want you can even do a similar thing like if I just want that brand 85 sells hot I love the merch is great the hang I want the studio on all of it

is 700 million and so you guys each clear I bring all the hoodies I got back you have all the merch everything I bring it all up here and I will leave everything exactly the way

It is. Hey, hey, put the shit back. Don't take shit. Would you buy it, y'all? I would authenticate everything. Yeah, that's an original. Tell me something you buy, because you like to buy cool shit. Like, what would you buy?

First thing, let's just say, let's ballpark it at a Rogan with $350 million deal, right? Spotify comes in, boom, big check, $350 million in your bank account. No, we're talking, you had $350 million. Do you ever fantasize? Like, what's the first thing you bought? I'm getting me a research team. I got to get some information. There you go.

Yeah, I'm spending, I'm investing money in intelligence. R&D. Oh, so you bring in. R&D, research and development. What LeBron did, where he just said, all right, we're bringing my guys in, and I'm going to create the business. That was a brilliant.

LeBron invests $2 million into his body every year. That's how he's able to hoop, like how he hooping. Yeah. We do that with your careers. So you got to reinvest. Yeah, that's what our first thing I'm buying. And you? It's a motherfuckers.

I'm going to have my research and put my team together. Then we're going to get to buy a ridiculous shit. Like what? Like the car that Herman Monster drove. Hold on. Does anyone remember that? I remember that car. Exactly.

You know, do you know they made that specifically, they made that specifically for that movie? like that movie did you remember the car from from Cannibal Run where the monkey drove it? Damn the original Cannonball Run?

It might have been the second one I don't know it blend in that's this type of shit that I start buying on the mustard car classic classic cars and shit

and some of that shit Elon must be buying uh it's gonna $3,000 Steve I'm gonna get me, I'm on a pack of them Steve Job t-shirts.

That's easy. You can do that now, though. No, but I'm saying I need the exact same ones he ain't. You want him to dig him up? No, fuck, whoa. You said the exact same one. But I'm saying, like, I need it. How are you going to know if it's him? Like, from the people he used to get him from.

Oh. Like, his shirts he wear to work because he only had one shirt? So you're going into space? I'm saying, like, the brand. I want to get like a pack of them from the brand because I'm sure that they would be pretty expensive. You're in space or you're in the earth? I'm staying on Earth.

If they gave you a chance. Because I've been out the country. I know how hard it is to get back in this motherfucker. I definitely ain't going up in the atmosphere. Hold on, hold on. That's a great question. I got offered to do a TV show where we went to space.

All the way up? All the way up. And I think you do a loop and come back down. I don't know. I didn't do too much research. But I woke up the next morning, I thought, so you get that offer, you got to take it, right? How much? No, no, just, no, even in life, if they say, yo, we want to send you a space.

No, fuck it, Bert. You wouldn't want to see that? I watch Joe Rogan. There is no space. Don't try to fucking trick me. There is no space. It's the firmament. There's nothing up there.

The water's above. I watched too much Joe Rogan to fall into that trash. No, I'm not going. Hell on. You end up in fucking outer earth. No. That's what I'm saying. If the earth is flat, what the fuck, where we going?

No, I'm not going up there. I'm only going if it's my ship and it's my shit and I made it and it's equipped. I'm not taking a ride. No, you see what happened when you tried to make a submarine. Yeah. That was a motherfucker trying to give money. They weren't trying to do it. But they made good submarine.

No, not homemade one. No, that's it. But that one, that was a fool. Well, no, they shit was never supposed to go down there that many times. Yeah. You were supposed to hit it, like, twice, and then throw that sub out. It's like stripper pussy. You're not supposed to fall in love of it.

Come on, man, what are you doing? You're going down? Number 10? Dude, I think you guys are dating. Number 12, man, I'm telling you, that shit going to come back on you. It's going to explode at some point. Hey, shut the fuck up and hand me my Xbox controller. Exactly.

No, no. I'm back in this. I'm not lust for life. Like, I want, I want to do this shit that sounds crazy and wild. Like, skydiving? You ever been skydiving? No. Would you?

Yeah. I would. It's terrifying. I do that. There's a moment where you realize, there's a moment of clarity that you have. When you realize that you're falling to the earth, that you go, oh, I can't change destiny right now. Like, I'm either going to live or die, and I can't pick which one I get to do. Oh, no.

It's crazy. Oh, no, well, I mean, before you got to that point, it's like, walking out the house for us. This is because you got a dude. You did it with the dude. I did it with the dude. Yeah, you got it with him. Yeah, it's kind of gay, but.

Yeah. What you were doing? I was like, he was stroking your face on the way. Yeah, sit in a man's lap. He's holding you, and you're on a plane. You're bouncing. And he's like, yeah, no. Yeah.

He's like, yeah. And he's like, and he's like, and he's like, and he's like, and he's like, and he's like, and he's like, And he's leaning in like a boyfriend Cundlin, like, are you okay? And I'm like, yeah, I'm fine, this fucking stop talking. He's like, he's like, what are you worried about? Like, I don't know you'll get hard, maybe.

That's one of my fucking fears. I'll get hard, maybe we'll both get hard. That's my problem. And our shoe won't open, and that's how I'll find us in the fucking woods. You fucking me in the ass to death in a crater. What's wrong, man? That's fucking terrible, bro.

Wait, why? Can I not say that? Yes, that's very fucking. Moneybag said that all the time. He said that's why he can't go. He said he can't, he said he can't, he said he can't go skydive because he refused to die with a white man strapped on his back. Like, you can't explain that.

Like, yeah, motherfucker die with a white man strapped to his ass, man. That's brilliant. Money bag, mafia. Money bag, man, money back. That's fucking brilliant. Said that shit and had me crying. He was like, nah, cheek, I can't go out with no white man strapped in my back. That's how you have to do.

As I added, yeah, you because you're not going, nah. They won't let you do it solo. No, I wouldn't want to. Like, who the fuck? You got to go a bunch of times just to get the shit to do it solo. Okay. Cruz, motherfucker, yeah. I'm going to tell you, I'm going to take a chance to tell you a good story.

But it's one of these stories I'm going to regret tomorrow. Oh, shit. So, like, I jumped off Moses Mavita Stadium in Africa. And it's... Where the fuck is that? It's in Johannesburg, I think. Okay. And, South Africa.

South Africa, yeah, South Africa. And so, like, normally when you do adventure shit, right, right? And it's always like New Zealand guys, like going, like, if you go bungee jumping, they're like, all right, mate. Come on there, you. Oh, go. Hold on you, three, two, one, Bob's your uncle. Here we go. Travers is going to check it out.

Trevor, take a look. And he's like, okay, let's do it. All right. One, two, three, Bob's your uncle, he's set to go. And then when you go to bungee jump, they're like, all right, we're going on together five. One, two. through it's like there's an energy about it so i jump off most be the stadium i got to climb up to the top of stadium i don't even realize this but it's africa it's just black dudes up there and black

dudes have different energy than new zeathen guys i go put the harness on and he goes you're good i went do you want to check it and he goes no he goes he goes it's my job you're good and i went hold on i would love another guy to look at this maybe and he goes oh yeah and this guy comes he's good and I went no stop I want you guys to touch me like I need you to yeah like I need you I need you to be really white right now and just like and like yeah and and then he goes he goes okay here we go and I go you can see the video online he go we're gonna count it down and he goes ready let's go and he knees me in the back kicks me off the fucking stadium and I fell fucking 800 feet just on a rope swing just

and it was wild fucking wild but this These dudes, they know how to do their job. It's just their bedside manner. Isn't that nervous white guy energy that calms you down? And that's what would make me nervous, the white guy energy. All right, now, wait a second, because I'll be in there. I'd be like, hey, hey, stop yelling and shit, man. I'm nervous.

The fucking y'all of the black dude will be like, I do this. Yeah, ever since I am the captain now. I'm doing this my whole life. You get up, yeah, you are good. Yeah. You are good. I trust him. Yeah, you are good.

I'm good, bro. All right, bad. Come on. Let's do this. Yeah, you get to me right. He is cool. With all that. Hey, Mike, you're at tea?

No. Lamb chop, don't the fuck out of here. They're clapping. They got, like, clean haircuts, and they're just like, all right, here we go. No. No. Not fucking with the white man from Camp Anuana. No.

All right. Here we go. All right, I'm going to take your harness. We've got a five point honest on you all right now. I'm talking about truth. He's clear. Right, Trevor. And then they tighten you up real good.

I've done a lot of that crazy wild shit. What's the craziest wild shit you've done? The Russian mafia. Yeah, they got involved with the Russian mafia. Yeah, yeah, that's a... But like, in adventure stuff, I was the first person to jump off Stratosphere. When they opened that ride, they had me be like the inaugural jump. That was terrifying.

Watch her up. Pardon me. What's the stratosphere is 1100 feet The tallest building In Las Vegas Oh okay Okay okay West of the Mississippi

Okay And so They open this ride It's controlled descent So you jump off You free fall For like a thousand A thousand feet

And at the last 60 feet They slow you down to land They got one in Macau They've got one in New Zealand It's a pretty cool experience And so I'm the first person do it and and uh yeah it was terrifying it was terrifying but here's a crazy thing is like i do it and i said i wasn't going to do it i was like i can't i'm going back out it's just so scary

because the ones they they when they're testing it out they use water dummies like like dummies filled with water and you're watching them splash on the ground like what these water dummies they fill up a dummy with water to be your, to test weights. And how does that make you feel? You're like, they use water. I'm a water dummy. If I go on this shit. Yeah.

That's crazy. You guys have panic attacks? I would. No, no, no. Like, you ever have like a real panic attack where it doesn't make sense and you just spin out? What's the symptoms? Like blinders on, everything sounds loud. And you have a real sincere attachment to what you think is real.

It's not really real. Like when the bitch from kill Bill, see somebody on her list. No. No, like when the police get behind you. You haven't never seen this? Yeah, that's right. Like when the police get behind you. That's a black man.

Oh, yeah. And when your heart stops. No, that's a pull it. It's not a panic attack. It's a pull-it-together attack. But still, but you're still like, oh, shit. Oh, I, my God. They're behind us.

I can see that. Then the crazy part is like you have one damn there. When you think they behind you, you ever see them pull out and you. The craziest shit is when they put the lights on it and they shoot past. And you didn't You was ready to eat the blood already You didn't, you know what I'm saying? Like you didn't fuck up

Like you're like, oh I thought that was for me. Okay, God is great. I got pulled over one time with a case of beer And this is when I was young And I've been drinking And I got, I don't drink and drive now obviously But like when I was young And so I got pulled over

I had a case of beer at the foot a chick And he pulled me over And he's like have you guys been drinking? And I went, actually, sir, and I was going to say, like, I had a couple, and his walking goes off, seven, merry five, we got a run, he just left, got his car, took off,

and I went, I'll never drink again. I'll never drink and drive again. It was like the luckiest fucking thing that ever happened. That's crazy. That's some shit that never happens to us. It don't matter what the call is. Yeah, we'll get back to that in a second. So like I was saying, sir,

you heard what I said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck all that. What? I forget how white I am until I tell you a story. Yeah, fuck all that. We've been to search this old shit.

I just told three black guys a story about getting away from the police. That shit never happened. In the middle of the story, I went, I bet that's never happened. We got away, but it's taking a lot more attack. It was a lot more manure.

You got to wait because they have one of them. You got to blame you back. You're walking a dog. Yeah, you enjoy your night, sir. My buddy, my buddy's black, and he lost his dog one time and he goes, hey man, can you help me find my dog? It got out and it's around the neighborhood and I was like, what? He was like, yeah, can you help me find my dog? And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?

No. And he's like, man, the girls are upset. Can you please help me go find my dog? And I was like, yeah, why? And he goes, I can't as a black man be walking around with a flashlight in people's backyards looking for a dog, but you can. And I went, oh, fuck. It kind of blew me away, like that, like, what would have happened to him

if he would have been walking around with their flesh. Yeah, and so I went back, I went, we went together, found his dog, but you just go in and you got a flashlight, and you got a flashlight. Anyone sees a flashlight, flashlights, or grassloof, and they're like, can I help you? I was like, hey, we lost a dog. And they're like, oh, yeah, let's come on in the backyard.

And it's crazy, like, little things like that always tweak me, and especially in comedy. When you notice them in comedy, the little differences, like go back to cocaine, right? So like, the first time I ever did Coke The first time I ever did Coke with a black guy Black guys will code different than white guys So like a black, a white, a black guy will take

And I'm not speaking for all black man of anyone That makes it worse Yeah, yeah, yeah If you want to speak up and tell me I'm wrong if you can That part makes it worse When you try to pre-requisite with something, just say it But like a brother will take a little corner of a matchbox Or like a key

And they'll just do key bumps all night and be clean, right? a white guy takes the bag and we dump it upside down and we cut lines. I remember the first time I did that to like, you know, that's all our fucking Coke. And I was like, my dad's paying for it or whatever, you know.

Hey, we're not going to run out or anything. Gee, we is. Run out the room. See how they can't even afford this. I couldn't even imagine the Coke coming out, man. Really? I couldn't like, like, I couldn't imagine like, figuratively speaking, of course, Bert.

$77. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. What fuck with all my stuff going up your nose, man. We cut rails. White boys cut rails. Rails. Like to imagine, we fuck around.

We go over Burr House. Not now, of course. We know you. No. Yeah. But back in the day. You're kicking it. You tell us one of them stories about the water dummies and then casually just takes out the...

So, guys. So, man, it's so fucking cool, man. You guys are here, man. You want to do it? No? All right. All right. It's crazy because that's like, that's, I understand that energy.

Like, in a weird way, when you say that, I grew up in a, I grew up in a culture that if someone offered you Coke, you didn't say no. You just went, I appreciate your extending that offer. I don't want to humiliate you, so I'll do it as well. I'm not going to be like. Wow. Wow, white people, really? No, I don't, I don't do cocaine, but throw it in my nose. Since you asked a nice thing, and I don't want to figure you.

I had a celebrity wanted to do coke with me recently. The guy I really respected. He pulled me aside. He's like, yo, and he pulled out some coke. He's like, I've been honored to do a line with the machine. And I'm old now, and I go, I can't, man. I'm my blood pressure medicine, cholesterol medicine. And I actually felt bad that I left him out like that.

Like, I let him out to dry, you know, where I was like, Yeah, you can't feel bad about that. I do, though, like, it's like, I don't know if I came here and I didn't party. Man, you can't let that man. That man been doing cocaine, man. You're not doing cocaine with him. He has done cocaine with way more motherfuckers. Yeah.

Especially if you're saying he a fucking celebrity. What a motherfucker that don't do coke? What are he going to do? Go crack. Yeah, Bert. Do you more cocaine? I don't know. It's cocaine.

Like, there's no one you do, you said never do coke, right? No. No. It's too risky. So, wait, how old were you the first time he's supposed? I was, what, I didn't smoke weed till I was 18 years old. That makes sense. That's a grown-up time to do it.

I wasn't, I couldn't do, like I grew up in a house with drug addicts, people drug dealers, drug, and then I come from out of the streets, people smoke dippers, and I've seen people do some wild shit on drugs. So I was always, nah. When I went to college, I was seeing the environment wasn't anywhere as aggressive or, you know, needed the type of attention that my home environment did, so I felt freer. And then my guy from North Carolina, Ricky Jones, this nigga had some weed, we smoked it, and it was amazing.

It was really beautiful. It was amazing. We went to Blockbuster, you know, fucking everybody looked like Donald Duck. That's nostalgia. You know what I mean? We went and, you know, went to the cookout. It's a restaurant in North Carolina called Cookout,

took me to the cookout, got me a tray, every four different size for, Four dollars. We used to be an undefeated code. Yeah, this is the dope shit ever. So, but I didn't. Yeah, I didn't have that experience until I was 18 years old because I just was like, you're on drugs.

I just rediscovered weed. Like, yeah, when I quit drinking, this part of me is like I'm not getting a sparkle anytime. Like you don't get any treats, you know? So I was like, man, maybe I'll get back into weed a little bit. And so I started, I carry these vapeas with me. And every night I go on my backyard. and get high and have a cigar.

And kind of just, but the beauty of weed, different than alcohol is that, like, this is the highest thought I ever had. I was in my backyard and I was looking up and I was like, these are my trees. Like, these are my trees. Like, they're mine. They weren't planted for me.

But now they're mine. And I get to have them enjoy them. But they're not mine forever. And that's how love works. Like, you don't, and that's a little bit about life is you're not here forever. But you all, but those trees will, be here forever. But I just get to, in my little life, and this is a high thought, and I got so

overwhelmed with joy that I was like, God damn, weeds great. Were you on mushrooms, too? No, I don't fuck with mushrooms that much. Yeah, I'm like, that sounded like a mushroom type of no, weed is, weed's gentle. It scratches your back. Especially if you ain't been smoking for a while. Yeah. You come back around, you go ahead and big epiphanies. Once you start smoking regularly, your epiphanies be a little bit smaller, but they apply. It's weed, we just, weed whispers in your ear. When you get on your tour bus, he goes, hey, want to watch a documentary on tarpins fishing? And you're like, fuck, yeah, I do.

And then you know everything about tarban fishing. Because you get into a, I love getting high, putting on a podcast or like, like, I love, I love listening to podcast high. I like to listen to Dayton, David Attenborough, the white dude who do. Oh, the animal shit? Yeah. With the animal. Man, come on, man. He would just be sitting there, next thing, you know, you just,

the tadpole is undefeated. He's growing legs now, and he'll soon be a frog. But let's go back in this journey. Yeah. Oh, that shit, yeah. How great is that? That's what gets me. I like to watch old wrestling promos.

Oh, wrestling promos? Yeah, when somebody was coming to the WW. You got to fuck with wrestling. Like when Raisin-B-Ha. You do a lot of wrestling. When Razor Ramon was first coming in, like when they would make the promo video, they remember Razor Ramon was in Miami.

Hey, yo, Chico. I'm coming to the WWF to take over, Jiko. And you're gonna know that my name is Reza Ramon. Nick, flick the motherfucker. Like this, this shit was so real to me as a young man. She's fucking real. Dusty Rhodes? Dude, I worked with Cody Rhodes, his son.

Yeah, come on. When we worked with Snoop together up in Macon, doing the Go Big Show. I'm sure I hit you guys up a bunch trying to get on the podcast then. And Cody Rose, Dusty Rose, had the best promos.

Oh, yeah. Those are the old school. Phil, and I'm to tell you, baby. We're coming back down there, Tennessee, the take over the whole thing, baby. I'm the Mexican dream, Stum of a plumber.

Yeah, you know what I mean? Like, I just go back and watch old wrestling, like, just... Rick Flair. You know what I mean? You don't like. Dude. Just that, the attitude era of the WCW and the day.

I remember when WCW and WWF was beefing back and forth. And D.X went to, they had a show in the same city. And DX went up to the WCW building in the tank and was in front of the building. You remember that shit when they was in front of where they had the helmets on and the tank yelling? I was shit at WC like to watch that now is hilarious to me because of how invested I was as a younger. I was like, this shit, you couldn't tell me that Mr. McMahon and wasn't the most diabolical motherfucker in the world. Like, you couldn't tell me that that wasn't real back there.

Me and my little brother used to sit and watch this shit and be so invested. But now when I look at it, this shit is hilarious to me, man. I'm probably as old as your dad, so I'm guessing. I'm 51. No. How old are you? I'm 40. Oh, you're 40?

I thought you were like 27 or something. No. I'm a different generation. So my generation of wrestling was the, it was all local. Oh, yeah. It was all local. So, like, we used to get the southern wrestling, and then we get Texas wrestling with the Von Erics.

And that was great. And then we watched it grow into the WWE at the time. WWF. WWF at the time, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, but I get into deep, today I was today, I was Googling Rick Rude. Do you remember him? Oh, yeah.

Ravis and Rick Rood. He died of a heart attack. Rick Rood used to hit 40 years old. Rick Rood was on in Alpharetta, Georgia. Raw and Nitro on the same night at the same time. Remember raw and night? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rick Rude was on both shows the same night. Shut the fuck up. Dude, he was gorgeous. He rocked a mustache. I know, I can't say that. We're back. We're back to the beginning. But he was a, you can't appreciate a,

strikingly attractive man, like Rick Rood, mustache, mullet, ripped abs, top to bottom with those tights. Wait, let's get checked off all your boxes, didn't. The way he was explaining it like, you're wrist-assies in the front, party in the back. Yeah, I mean, just beer, just, oh, God, just watch for it. No, no beer, just a mustache. A strong mustache. Mustage, like a porn star from the 70s.

Arms. God. Hold on. People's wife. Hold on. Fuck you. I'm going to take it to your culture. Do you remember when DeAngelo had that video where you could almost see his dick?

Wait on. Hold on. No, bullshit. Do you remember that? Do you remember that? Do you remember that? Don't remember it that way, Bird. Stop!

He got close to the TV. Bird, you got too many videos. I was like this. I was like this in the screen. I was like this. Hey, man, this motherfucker really is the machine, man. Why do you want to see that, Berk? The pause machine.

But no, hold on, stop, stop. Don't try to have me. How does it feel? You don't know how it feels. How does it feel? You just, oh, man. You don't remember that video of DiAngelo. We all remember.

We all remember. When none of us were traveling. Were you looking at his eyes? You were looking at that. You were looking at that. fucking V-cock cut of his with where you were like

God damn it why would you like that Bert? Everyone's I think it's a white guy thing. No, let it play. Honey want to do. Have it's your way.

Dude, if you offered me a movie and a dress tomorrow, I'd do it. Yeah, but no, but that's a cultural thing. It's like, I heard Cass say that and I was like, I don't understand the dress thing. I don't get it. Like, I don't get it.

Like, it really, like, I mean, serious, it lands empty on me because I go, yeah, I put it on a fucking dress. But I think the same way, you don't get it, we don't get it as to why this would be the expected source of comedy at this point. Are they still doing it? Like, if you're coming to me for whatever my comedic talents are, is a dress involved in it?

Why are you putting this thing on me that's not what I do for me to be the source of comedy? So it's not saying, okay. So it's not saying like, yo, I want you as a man, but I want to emasculate you a little bit. That is already been done at the highest level already. Do I do this? Is this something that you've seen from me? But if you haven't, why is this the expected source of comedy?

If you know this is what I do, I'm funny, I'm a comedian. Okay, okay. So, man, I got to say, I've never heard it like that before because I heard it with Cass say it. And it just comes out so flippant that I just don't get it. I don't get it because there's a lot I do for comedy There's a lot I do for comedy It is a lot of people that will do Never for that

But when you're trying to put that But when that's always on the list It makes you feel like Okay why does this have to always be on the list Okay so it's like when I do something And like you go in All respect and then the guy goes You're taking your fucking shirt off right

And you're like no man I decide to take my shirt off Chubby white comedian they came after you Well why don't you take your shirt off Well, you take your shirt off You take your shirt off You ever seen the blue sky on cocaine I know somebody who has And he has the shirt off

And so they're not letting you be you They're letting you be a prototype Of what they see you all Yeah, what has already been done Oh fuck man I am high and that is fucking mind blowing to me That makes sense I get it

I thought it was just about gay shit No And I was like I mean for some people It may very well could be just that But I think the overall all thing is, man, I do this shit in whatever capacity, if I'm a fucking actor,

if I'm a comedian, however I do this shit, if you've seen me do this, then yeah, maybe that's on the list of shit that you would ask me to do. But if you have not seen this from me, why is this a to go thing on the list? Why is this a to go thing? When I know I'm fucking, y'all fucking with me

for some reason, because I'm funny, right? So, like, yeah, so. people who do this shit professionally yeah yeah i mean and and they go crazy and that's why i say it's i don't even think it's it's about it being gay because you look at like i was talking about martin like you don't we don't we watched martin for years still watching now these are characters that he did that stand in their own shenayne is his own character that's not martin that's your neney that's not martin that's martin's mama and we're not like man they got a dress on right but once it got to a point where now that's what you have to do to be at a certain level no matter what

like we're going to throw this we're going to throw this we're going to make sure we throw this I think that's the angle that cat was coming from like why is this necessary in white people terms yeah that lady on mama's family ain't really old you know mama's family yeah yeah but she ain't got to do that all this stuff like Yeah, it's a character. Yeah. Man, I gotta be honest with you, and I'm high as fuck,

and I'm pretty drunk. But, like, that's why I'm happy that I have friends like to hang out with you guys. So that really, I didn't get it. I really didn't get it. And to hear you say that, especially as a comic, I go, oh, yeah, I know that feeling exactly

of the take your fucking shirt off. You're going to kill a beer, right? You're like, oh, man, hold on. You don't tell me how to. I'm me. I got myself. When that is actually your thing. Now, imagine if somebody never took their shit off

and never killed the beer, and every time they walk in, hey man, you're going to take your shirt off and drink that beer, right? I'm like, motherfucker, I don't even drink. You don't drink. That's a mild version. That's an easy version.

That's light, really. Because that's just, you know, they get types. You get the calls for auditions, and they be like, we want a motherfucker type. We want an Idris Elba type. Bitch, you ain't got that dink of money. You know, you get it out here from these motherfuckers. Like, you know what I'm saying?

Like, so, yeah, they'll throw you into a fucking type that, yeah. You guys just broke my brain a little bit. I mean, you know. I love that shit, though. I love to, I don't know, man. There's so much that I think, especially as a white dude, you kind of sit back. And, like, I remember when I was saying, I was Snoop, I was singing his songs back to him. And I was saying the wrong lyrics.

And he was like, I didn't say potatoes. I was like, do you sure? He was like, why would I say potatoes? And I was like, I thought the fuck song was you rapping with potatoes was in it. I dropped Brahms like potatoes. Smoking endo cooking potatoes. I dropped Rams like potatoes.

Yeah. Oh, he sang the song, we found the song, and he sang it to me, and he was like, bitch. I say bombs. I dropped bombs like bombs. And I went, oh. So you sit back in the cut and you watch the Cat Williams interview, and you have to. to analyze it from your own experience.

How many times you watch? It's probably 10 times. It was so good, man. It was so good. And it was like times where you can't tell if Katz joking. You know? And he's like, 3,000 books. You're like, okay, he's fucking,

because he's a comic. He's a comic. I don't want you all to have to make Ken Williams prove he can read 3,000 books. They made earthquake prove he can read. They made earthquake prove he could read. Hold on.

They brought earthquake on the breakfast club, right? Am I? I might be high. And, no, they brought Earthquake on the Breaston Club. They just asked him about it. They didn't make him read. They didn't make him read. They made him the fucking read.

They go, hold on. Hang on, did someone else see this? Yeah, in these, you and read, just. They didn't make him read. They talked to him about the comment that was made. I thought they made him do an ad read. No, no, he said that he worked in radio. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that doesn't make it. He didn't have to read. Okay. That's crazy. But, like, you know cats are comedian, And so, you know, he's fucking around at times. They see him run his fucking 40, and you're like, all right. Yeah, maybe not.

Maybe he did read $3,000. Yeah, he probably did, man. Is that the best interview that's ever been online? I mean, if we're just going off the voices of the two people, absolute fucking loose. Two people, it was just cat. No, but Shane, so you have to tell me, what was the thing? Like, come on.

You can't say that cat? Come on, that's it. That's all it took. So that's what the brilliance ever was. The crazy thing was Cat is small, but he made Shannon getting small with what he was saying. Oh, wow. Shannon was like, oh, shit. Wait, do you guys know Cat?

Do you know Cat? Yes. So I never met Cat. I'm good friends with Red, and so I get stories about Kat through Red Grant, and I'm obsessed with Kat. His one special he did, Pimp Chronicles. Come on, man. It was a fucking, it's like, there's a couple specials that redefine stuff for me as a comic, I go, that's the thing.

That's the person. He's sweating. Didn't think about it twice. Never noticed it. I never noticed that he was sweating. But it's comics, we know when we're sweating, but I never noticed it. And that's important. I said this, I said this is Shaq today. The Cedric and Shaq, All-Star Comedy Jam, they put it on HBO. I watched

Kevin Hart go up, and it changed the way I did comedy. He, everyone, D-Ray, Tommy Davidson, Erie Spears, I miss him in one person. I'm sorry. but then Kevin closed it. Oh, Kevin closed it. Everyone was doing crowd work, you know?

Because you know how we are, we're more nervous, and you go, I'll loosen the crowd up, I'll loosen myself up. Kevin Hart went up with straight material and talked about his family, talking about his children. And I went, oh, that's the unifier. That's the thing, man. We all got kids. Like, I'm sitting here.

I'm not at that. And I'm going, oh, shit. And that blew my mind. Those are two specials. I mean, Bill Burr's specials are, for me, I think that guy is the next level. He always is doing something different when he goes. He's always challenging himself, you know? He's just a good call.

He called at the comedy shit, but he's just a good dude. Yeah, all-round man. I never met Bill, but I'm a fan of Bill. Solid dude. He said he's seen him at the airport. She ate him. She ate him McMuffin and then wiped her mouth with the bag. That's some airport shit

But shit Like just that whole That whole era of comedy Like that wave of those guys The Patrice's Do you know Patrice? No I never got to meet I knew Patrice

That's my Like Yeah he's on one of my He in the five Yeah Patrice and I were in We spent a month Together in Scotland

And Brough And Brin Fries Fats Yeah Lived in the same house He explained JZ to me. I didn't get Jay-Z at the time. It was probably 2001, maybe.

I didn't get it. I didn't understand it. Like, and Patrice slowed it down, and he goes, hang on. Here what he says. Beep, beep, and I'm picking him up. Let him play with the dick in the truck. He's like, wow. My nigger. Hey, bro, we got to stop.

This man. No, but this, it's a pan move. It's a pan move. It's a pan move. It's a pan move. It's a pair move. He didn't even get out of the car. Beep, beep, and I'm picking him up.

And then casually, I'll let him play with my dick in the truck as we go to dinner. I love it. It's a gangster fucking lyric. Hey, Pim C didn't understand that lyric, right? Ain't know what that said. Pimsy said he didn't understand the lyric too. For real?

He thought he was jacking off or something shit. He was like, man, I ain't doing that shit, Mike. He's talking about playing with his dick in the truck. You guys got me on a Pimsy, Bumbie. A deep dive the other day. You ain't never fucking with him? No, no, I know UGK. I know UGK.

I know UGK. But you can't Come to see? But I, you know, man, UGK. got engulfed in Outcast for me.

Because Outcast when they did that song, You fucked with Outcast a little bit, buddy. Okay. I geeked out so hard in front of

Big Boy that I think I freaked him out and then I definitely freaked him out two more times. He's sick to pit bull like? No, no, no, no.

We did a concert together. We did a show together. And I was like, dude, Outcast was my shit. Southern rap is me. Like, I'm a Southern rap guy. Like, that was just always, even like, even like more orange mound. A ball and MGA. They're my shit, man.

A ball and MG, all Swab House, all Swab House. And then, and then, but when Outcast came out, it fucked me up. It was like my thing, that's all I listened to. I'm obsessed with them. And I saw him at a concert. I was bombing, so I just was, it was like 20,000 people. So I, and there's a camera, so I was just having girls flashed her tits. And big boy was like, you're pretty funny.

And I was like, I was just having girls flashed tits. And then I saw him the next day at the airport. I yelled out, Daddy Fat Sacks. And he was like, and then he goes, he's like, oh, you really know me? And I was like, buddy, I, and I started rapping this song. to him. You really yelled at him. Daddy Fassar.

I said, sell me a dog. Tell your brother to sell me a dog. I know more about him that he'd be. It made him uncomfortable. It made me uncomfortable, Burr. Daddy Fissette. Sell me a dog. Who fuck is that?

Dude. I fucking love those guys. Oh my God, man. Damn, bro. Outcast was the shit. was the shit. Still is the shit, but like... Come on, man.

I can't look. Yeah. He's going to get your number, bro, I'm going to save it under it. That's crazy. It's crazy. I'm not going to spell it all the way out because I don't make you feel weird.

He's a V-I-G-B-O-I. Big Daddy. Boy, man. Where did he grow up in Macon? Savannah. Savannah. Oh, man. What a fucking badass song that is.

Oh, man. Man, me, that, for me, and Alcasser is like this shit. But MJG and A ball with my sleepers. Because I love those dudes. They came out about 93, right? 9-2, 93. And what are you talking about? Space Age Pembant.

Yeah, if you just listen to that shit now, and you say this came out in the 90s. 93, it was so far ahead of. Any and every real. They have a song. I used to play with my girls. Alcohol, pussy, and weed. And I would play that with my daughters in the car. Alcohol, pussy and weed.

That's terrible. Alcohol, pussy. My kids were too young to get it, but they would bob their heads in the back. Alcohol, pussy. T.I. Man, let me tell you something. I'll fucking freak T.I. out if I ever meet him.

Because his whole... He's a comedy. Yeah, I know. But I haven't seen him do stand up. He does. I like his rapping. I almost bought a wraith because of that fucking guy. What?

The wraith, his wraith song was, do you know that wraith song on the, what it last out, the second last? She probably was listening to it in the background. That race song, I almost made you buy a rave. Dude, I, I DM'd him. I think I DMed him, or I, or no,

he DMed me on Instagram and was like, you should buy a wraith, come through. And I almost bought a fucking wraith because, I was like, I'll drive up to me, T.I. I love T.I. Man. His, everything, I said to my daughter one time, she's I'm a hard time getting bullied at school. And I said, can I just play a song for you

and tell you this is how you should feel? And it was, you don't know me. That song speaks on so many levels. You don't know me. When you holl and you speak, remember, you don't know me. And that's what bullying. It's about bullying. I felt. Oh, wait

to we see them again, man. Hey, man, you got a song about bullying in the white community. It related to this fucking nine-year-old. Hey, he might have needed

you as an attorney. Like, that shit might have got through. A song is about bullies. I don't know where. It's a anti-bullying. Dude, win, when,

yeah, my daughter was like, I get it. My daughters were really big into T.I. So this girl came up in my face and I said, you don't know me? You might have seen me in the streets,

but you don't know me. They're song. Charlie Highland, when you speak, remember, you don't know me. But it is, there's more to that song about it. But that's what you take from it. That's what the movie is.

You don't know me. You don't know me. That's how I heard it. It's like, I'm a person also. You don't actually know me. Say what you want to say, but you don't know me. I love that.

That is hilarious. We should do that. We should get you to give the meanings of what rap songs mean to you. Like, random, we should just let you hear. I'll see, I'll tell you what's, I'll tell you what's on my, my cue. What, just give a raw reaction of what this song says. Yeah, yeah, yeah, what you?

I'll see what rap songs I got, yeah, stupid. You know what I love about this whole show is that every time he says some unbelievable shit, I look at the white people and they look like he let them down. Every time you say some white girl is like, what the fuck is he saying? Mm-hmm. That he's not what we were hurt. And he's like, man, this motherfucker. All right, let's talk about trick daddy.

Let's talk about trick daddy. Come on. Trick Daddy, for me, remember, I'm from the South. That shit, I fell in love with my wife, TWD. I mean, when I listen, there's songs he wrote that are me and my wife's songs. What trick daddy song? I feel like I know what it is. No, you don't.

No, you don't. No, you don't. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. No, it's the one where it's grills on the fucking, you know, the album Thug Holiday. Yeah, yeah. It's Thug Holiday, hold on. I'll tell you the exact song. This is me and my wife's song.

Thug Holiday. I almost did one of my album covers like this. You should have. Thug Holiday is such a great, God, what a great album that was, right? That was a great. No bad look. Rebeal, yeah. All right, you ready?

Yeah, which one? Uh, hang on. Do you believe this shit? Hold on, hang on. No, it's not about mine. It's, uh, god damn it. Is it? I ain't really here to play no game, yeah.

You already know my name, yeah. Freaky begin, there ain't no thing, yeah. Ma-da-da-da-da-da-da. Yeah. Oh, sucking and fucking. Here we go. You know, there ain't no game. She's all about the thugs.

Look at the fucking. Here we go. Yo. You know. You know. Buddy, this was, this and Scarface. When I met Scarface album, Fix, when I met my wife, they came out at the same time. And that was all I listened to.

That was all, that's, I was when I was really deep in hip hop. And, like, and, but man, I met Trick Daddy. And he delivers. Like at all, when you talk about celebrities, he shows up, he's there, he's generous with his time. He's cool as fuck. They don't have to be cool. He's strict daddy.

He can be a dick to me and I'd be cool with it. It was very nice. He was very nice. Solid fucking guy. Yeah, man. We're definitely going to do that show, Bert. We're going to get you to sing your favorite rap songs because I have never heard.

All right, second and fucking. Here we go. Man. I'm going to my name. You get us to listen to the white people's songs and interpret what we think they mean because you don't know how it feels. You don't know how it feels.

It's a good song. You know what? You know what's going to show up one night and you're going to be like, ah, it does slap. You'd be like, man. No, I love the white people. You know one of my favorite white people's song, what is it, Tony Leon and left a note on the door?

What is that, a ethnic song? It's Billy Joel Billy Joel's fucking awesome Yeah, he's the shit Billy Joel's By your Cadillac You ought to know by now Yeah, that's my shit

Billy Joel's great We used to play that at a fraternity Every night we play piano man And great son Leonard Skinner's a badass fucking band What's my album one Buhna dun dun dun Who is that?

Hey, why am I going down the street now? Why am I so lost and heart? What is Paul Simon? Paul Simon's great. I can be your long lost, pal. You can call me out. You can call. Yeah.

You can call me a lover. You can call me out. You can call me out. You can call me out. Yeah, I know my white people should. No my wife. We should do a crossover podcast. I think we're breaking genres.

Yeah, we are. Like, because I, it's funny. I don't, like, I don't mind being me, you know? Like, I'm cool with who I am. But it's fun to watch you see me. Like, because you don't get to meet new people a lot. I always think this. It's funny.

You're willing to fuck a stranger, right? Like, if you meet someone at the club, you're willing to fuck a stranger, right? But to meet a new... But to meet a stranger and, like, to talk... He's taking an eye out now. We're fucking done. We're fucking done. Shaq called him Dustin Timberlake.

Dunstan Timberlake. Yeah, you definitely looked like that dude that made that song. Last night, we let the liquor talk. He said, and the whistle. He looked like he had the haircut. He wanted, but he had to cut that shit off. And my man looked like Aquaman right there. He looks like John Snow from Game of Thrones, doesn't he?

No, he looked like Aquaman. The dude to play all day. man the dude yeah that's not a bad one aquaman uh what's a dude name he a little steamy mo mo mo mo moa yeah he looked like jason mammoa he's in all the way those people are you that's my assistant peter and then victoria runs all my marketing and social media really and then kiles works with us he's like our third assistant he like for tour and stuff he does all are he works with this well where you from kyle get the fuck out of here you from Baltimore

Ask him to say too Get the fuck out of here Like the county or the city Okay All right Well there you go I'll just make it sure I was about to say

Oh shit Man Bill one of you know all the black stuff You got to mean that it's the Baltimore You know he might You have to listen to the bar music The city or the county Baltimore

Oklahoma Oh that's BCC There's 100 Portland's Baltimore, Wisconsin. Where's your tour and take, you guys? Do you do, like, do you think we do the same cities? Sometimes. Sometimes we do.

Sometimes we'll be somewhere you was just at. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. We should do, I would love to do, I tried to sell it to, you know, combos, the snack. Yeah. I tried to do a combos comedy tour. We took two different types of comics.

Me and you, and we did a night together at a club. Not trying to make killing, but just bringing people to- Combo's got money like that? No, the problem is a Christian. Who are fucking combo? Oh, Christian? Yeah. Mama, make sure you get me a combo.

Yeah, I get the idea, though, but that would be dope. We do, man. Like, do you know what somebody with more money? Like, that conversation we just had, we just get you to come out on the portion. But that's the thing, like, we got to do it, like, two different crowds. Like, the crowd that come for us, you do the, you do. the show, and then the crowd that come for you, we do the show. No, no, we put them together.

Yeah. We put them together. And then you do 35, I do 35, and then we sit on stage and we take questions. Oh, yeah. That would be cool. But combos is a Christian company, and they didn't want to do, they want to like. The combo, we could use another word. We could just do. Yeah, we could use another word.

Funions are do it. Yeah. No, fuck that. Rap snacks are the best. Rap snacks? What's your rap snack play? Yeah, right. Migos. All right. Migo. Damaranch. Good dude.

Saltini. What's up? Rap snacks. When the first time I ever had rap snacks, I lost my shit. Because there's something wrong about it. It's too good. I know. But not, do you ever notice how they're a little more delicious than everyone else? Yeah. I think they're cutting some sort of FDA corner. Because I don't know what's in it, but I go, this is fucking good. No, it's real. That's real. You eat a rap snack and you're like, I don't even know her, but I'm eating it. It is legendary that they cut in the FDA corner.

They're cutting something, dude. They're too good. They're too fucking good. What's the music he here? They got to. For real. Hmm. Dude, I was talking about rap snacks back in the day.

Like when they first came out, we were touring through Georgia, and I found them. And I was like, these are really fucking good. And we bought all of them. And then I sampled them. I put it on Instagram. You want to keep them because they come. remember them, but they good as fuck.

Nobody keeps them, bro. I'm so glad they kept best. The rap's nice. Them hot cooks, but then they have, Migos is the best. Migos is about it. They're not fucking with them

Bousie Hats, man. Them Boosie, Louisiana hot is the man. I'm so glad they got his picture right. Yeah, they used to look like Ray Charles. Yeah, he doesn't look like Ray Charles was on the picture with glass. They got him.

They got his fade. Yeah, they had a boozy fade. They changed the flavor of him, but the, uh, Bob was doing with my honey. the little Romeo ones back in the day when they first came out

then was the best ones back in the day they changed the you know what you should do who is that now but they gave the flavor to somebody else

barbecue with my honey now that's still little Romeo but he don't rap I mean it's the snack

okay he's getting residuals that's hilarious Bert Chrysler presents brass snacks and Koolade dude

I'm mad that's that's that's that's real appropriation right there that sounds like the title That's the time of it's up. Burr Christa preserves rap snacks and Kool-Aid. We need to put that in a sitcom

and stuff that we do together. Rapsnats are so fucking good. This clip and Kool-A are going to be under the post. We'd love to hear more about it. Kool-Aid won't fuck with me. What should you do to Kool-A? No, they just don't, I'm just not, I think I'm not brand adjacent.

Like, there's a couple brands that have come to me and that I wear Speedos a lot, like the bathing suit. It's really good to swim in. Like, when you swim in a speedo... Yeah, but, See, Bert, I was going to talk to you about that, man. What?

He said, what? Too much nudity, man. I love it. You got to beat up with the ass out. My ass on Instagram sells tickets. Like, if I put, if I'm... You're just hoaring yourself out, Bert. Yeah.

You put me in a dress. I am like... My man said, bye. Oh, man. Yeah. man yeah is crazy i'm a speedo guy i'm always more speedos i love speedos no so i i talked to them and it went south you realized what corporate america sounds like when they talked to you and they were like i don't know they just i'm all the shit on speedo but they just said it was

really an insulting conversation where they were like accusing me of stuff i've never done where they were like because it's your friends on podcasts to talk wild shit and then you're in this podcast, you're laughing or whatever. And they just thought that I wasn't like a good person, I guess. I don't know. I was like, fuck you then. Still wear Speedos, but like, I'm not going to do something with them. I don't want to fuck them. You're a fucking great person.

It's like, listen. Just personality-wise, the shit that you've said in this conversation lets me know that hanging with you would be very interesting up until y'all get the dicks falling off. Then it's overwit for me. Oh, you get a kid out of it.

No, I wouldn't. Yeah, you would. I wouldn't get a kid. Yeah, you would. You laugh at a certain. point. Yeah, as I'm on my way home. I can't believe I did. It was out there with them crazy motherfuckers, man. This dude is wild, man. We did a TV show called The Cabin on Netflix during the pandemic. And Donno Rollins is a good friend of him. I've known Donnell for a very long time. We just had him up here, too. Oh, wow. I want to hear that interview. He's wild,

Donnell's wild. This man crazy. He said he started his comedy career heckling. For real? Ask him about it. Watch the episode or ask him about it. I haven't seen the episodes. He just dropped. He's got a new special out. Everyone check it out.

It's fucking awesome. Yeah. Yeah, new day. I love Donnell. I've known Donnell for a while. And so he's my friend. So to start the episode, I got naked and got on a bare skin rug. And I had a guy doing a painting of me.

And Bobby Lee, you know Bobby Lee? Bobby Lee and Donnell walked in the same time. Bobby Lee took all his clothes. off and laid in front of me, and Donnell just went, nope, and left. And we had to get him back to the set. He was like, I'm not doing I don't need the money that bad.

What the fuck did I sign up for? But Donnell's funny when he's mad. Like, when he's upset, that's my favorite Donnell. When he gets worked up. Out of all the things you chose that to piss him off. Yeah. And then we did a coffee anima, or you put coffee up

someone's asshole? Bert, what the fuck, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming out today. Hold on, hold on. See, Bert, it's going too far. He's God too far. Bert, what the fuck, man? Wait, you never done an animal?

Fuck, no. I've done a colonic. You never done a colonic? No, Bert. For real? Clean's you out, man. You get skinny. I'm sure.

You get those DeAngelo abs. Hey, all right. Look at your people. You're right, Lois. She's like, I'm like, I'm like, are they going to be able to air this. They're not going to, we're going to have to send their email.

Why is he embarrassed him in the whole white community? He doesn't get paid enough to get embarrassed yet. And I would like to say that we appreciate the opportunity, but we're going to have to not put that out. She's going to email us. Yeah, that footage, I need it. Yeah, immediately. I've said so much worse on podcasts.

We do, we have an episode of two bears coming out where we do a brat. All right, we'll say it again. All right, we'll say it. Yeah, don't say it again because I don't want you to fuck it up for when you got to actually say it on your podcast. Oh, it's bad. It's bad. Yeah, so don't do it twice because then you're going to take away.

You're going to apologize that shit. You're not even having to apologize. I just don't want you to have to say it and then say it again. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm confused up shit. He said on his show. I don't apologize for any of that shit. I am who I am.

I've been who I am on podcast forever and you just kind of own it, man. If you have fucked up thoughts, you share them. Damn. Right? That's the craziest advice I have heard. People advice. That is a Caucasian privilege to even think of right there. When you have fucked up Thorshareem, boy, you're going to jail.

You're going to jail, black man. If you're not a boy, could you imagine those if we had the freedom to just say the shit that we thought? You do. You say whatever you want. Come on my podcast, you can say wild shit. Oh, yeah, well, maybe over there. But no, everyone sees it. Not in real life, no.

Really? No. What's the most fucked up thought you've had recently? Nah. Let's share our fucked up thoughts. I'll start. Nah. I'll start.

Ma'am, step in. Let's say, I'm just joking. Go ahead, fuck it. Why not? Fuck it. You never had a fucked up thought where you go. I have fucked up thoughts all the time. But you keep them in?

Yes. You keep unhealthy. No, no, it doesn't. It makes me alive and safe because as a black man, you do not have the freedom to just say the shit that you think out here. Oh, I listen to this podcast. You got to say wild shit. Yeah, but that's not the

fucked up thoughts. That's just the shit that we've managed to figure out enough to be able to say out loud. But the fucked up shit? We could never, man. We could never. No. No. No. Come on my podcast. I'll have you guys

on my cooking show and we'll talk wild. No, I'm scared you're going to get naked on a best gear rug and then I'm not going to be able to say what I really think because it's too fucked up being Bobby Lee come put his man coochie on you or something

dude that's that's not my type of humor like yeah it's funny but it's staking here right like the assid with a Kool-aid I don't want nothing no more make sure they don't pour me nothing but you don't draw the line

when you stand up no no but still like I think there's a level of freedom. We'd like, like, figure out the line, personally. So, don't know, you and Bobby Lee was like, you know, be funny as hell. Like, if we just got naked in front of Donnell. Like, how did y'all put this together?

It just happened on the fly. Oh, Bobby Lee just got, you just got naked. I was naked, I was naked, I was naked. Naked, and Bobby Lee. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's on Netflix. People go watch it.

I'm not going to, I would never, like, I would never try to, I don't regret anything. Like, you know, you can't live a life and regret. And it's a horrible way to live life. And you just live... Like nothing? I mean, yeah, I regret. My regrets are honest, but like, I regret working as hard as I did and not spend enough time with my girls.

Those are real regrets. But, like, and I regret, I regret stuff I said on podcasts like years ago when you didn't think anyone was listening. And I was like, I regret that. I don't regret, like, even like we talk about drinking, right? Like, I drink a lot. and I've drank a lot my whole life. I'm 51.

And even, like, going to the doctor, I was like, do I regret my lifestyle? No, because it got me to where I am, and I'm really happy right now. And I can manage that. So I don't really have any regrets. And I'm with comic, and I know that you guys are joking and stuff,

but, like, even with comedy, when you don't say you say shit, sure, of course you regret some stuff. And if you heard someone and you need to apologize, like personally, I'll apologize. But when it comes to, like, a podcast and we're having fun and we're all laughing, I don't regret shit I don't regret anything I always like I try to I try to

overshare maybe oh maybe too much sometimes because I go I go out there's got to be someone thinking that there's got to be some white guy really loving this show going like this is my favorite show and I that's so funny you know that's cool thing about podcasting is that there these cool open conversations that we have that like you say wild shit no one's anything hurtful no one's no one's feelings hurt yes it's a wild gay shit, but like, but like, even saying that, I go, look, man, if you're a young kid trying to figure stuff out

and you're just, like, lost and you hear this, maybe that helps you. You never know who listens. That's the thing. You never know who listens. You know? The neck, my skin, rug. Fuck it. You never, you got to watch it. I said it's a wild gay shit.

Yeah. Man, man, this guy's fucking... I'm married 20 years. I know who I am. I know your wife I heard it off Hell yeah She's heard of You never guess what Bert did

Whose dick did he suck Is he sucking Is he sucking cock again? But like I talked I talked crazy about my family Like very openly About my family All my specials

Like I mean I talked about my daughter's period On Conan And Yeah that might be where you draw the line But for me It was a good story It was funny

I thought it was inclusive The little girls Dealing with that shit In their life at that time I shared it It went viral I put it on special and it's like

and like trust me I definitely laid in bed that night and I was like fuck I might have made a mistake I might have fucked up it's my kid and I shared this intimate

part of her life with everyone and then the next morning little girls were emailing my website from their mom saying hey thank you for letting your dad

share that because I'm going through my period and now I'm throwing myself a period party like you did and I'm naming my period and I'm going to make it fun, I don't have to be afraid of it. And so, like, yeah, I definitely go, like,

fuck, that was crazy, I shouldn't have done that. But you do it, because you know that there's, as a comic, you know there's good intent in it. You know that there's good things out of it. And then you share them, and then hopefully they pay you forward in life. But, like, I've talked wild about my family.

But see, the thing is, like, the way that we talk, this is just, like you said, that bridging of the gap, because the way we talk shit amongst each other, Like, we're just in involving you in that style of talking shit. Yeah, I love it. I love it. The response involved in that, like, this is what it would be if you were standing on

in the neighborhood with us kicking it, saying that shit you said. Like, man, what the fuck? Yeah. Right here. Freaky is fuck at the mouth, man. Man, man, crazy, man. What is this? But I mean, like, God damn.

You just said, no, no, no, no, it's all good. No, no, no, listen, man, listen. Yeah, so me and Bobby Lee. wrestling on this bed right just all on our chest just being men that awesome man's shit by the way

you haven't seen the picture if you saw the picture you'd be really upset it's like it's like dick to ass yeah see what I'm saying my man

my man see he's bad though Gendurring wedding what they're gonna do dick to dick that's gross what they're gonna do

what they're gonna do like red and semp great man why is that funny. Well, you're laughing right now. But I'm just, I'm asking you, like, why is that humorous, you all in the moment? So, so I believe, this is how we started.

I believe the base of American comedy is shock. The base of American comedy is saying the thing you don't think you're going to hear, you don't expect to hear, and when it's rationalized, it's beautiful, right? So the base of American comedy is just shock. And so I think that that energy is, as shocking, where it's funny. Like, where it's like, that moment is so uncalled for, so different

that it makes Donnell go, no. And then everyone laughs at Donnell's response, but I only did it because it was Donnell, and I know Donnell. And so, like, I knew about to hop on the big world. Yeah, like, I wouldn't do it to like Fortune Feimster and Nikki Glazer, because they wouldn't

react. The reaction as Donnell would be like, they'd be like, oh, you guys doing a picture? But Donnell walking in, it's funny. might that explains what we talked about earlier is about the reaction the reactions the

comedy is all about reaction and the reaction you get from an audience and and if you don't if you can't elicit that reaction you don't get I just don't think you had laughter and I'm going back to Patrice but you know I man he's one of the greatest I ever did

it and and when he would break down comedy for me like I had a joke an old joke we were drunk on a plane and I was getting cut off by the flight attendant and I put my finger on her lips

and went shh she was gonna say I can't serve her anymore and I caught her in the middle of I went shh and then she just freaked out walked away and then the next morning we're in Scotland

and Patrice was like that was really you touched her face he was like you know what a fucking you don't touch people's faces and he goes you should talk about the whole stage and I went okay so I tried

that not on stage. He goes, yeah, but there's no real stake in it. It's a flight attendant. Make it a cop. Oh, really? He goes, yeah, you know what cops hate when you touch their faces? And I went, okay, and I did it, and that set up punch got a big thing, and then I could do a story about it.

But, like, learning that for me was very integral and, like, you got to have a pop. You got to have a shock in that, in comedy. It's the thing when you don't expect to see. A man's ass, and it shows up. You're like, what the fuck? But that energy is adjacent to comedy. Not in my community. It's adjacent to his time to leave.

I think it's shot out, sir. The fuck is going on here. Sometimes you might, yeah. Damn. Bro, if you got misdirected into watching the man's ass. That's not misdirection. But anyway, you've seen my videos. They've come across you or you see my ass, right?

Yeah, I had to. follow you for those. You did not unfollow me. You did not. I'm going to find out right now. You was naked with a white dude. Wait, when was that? He was naked with an Asian man, too. Has that happened so many times that you couldn't remember? He said, wait, which one was that?

Wait, you really don't fucking follow me? I didn't. I didn't. I still follow. You know why? Because we're similar. No, we're not. No, we're not. Don't do that. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Don't go ahead. Do that, man. Me and you have to share, I'm being serious right now. Me and you share the same vulnerability as

comics. When you did your braids and you're celebrating your braids that's me. Oh, okay. That's me. It's you I will do me, I will celebrate me, and if you don't get it, I don't want to hear a fucking word. When you did

your braids, I went, God damn I get him. Like, I get you. I got you. Yeah. The braids is cool. I thought you was about to go into that other shit. No, no, no. When you did your braids, I went, okay. It was just, I don't give a fuck. Yeah, and that's how I am.

I really don't give a fuck. I mean, I give a fuck. I give a fuck about the people who count, you know what I mean? I can't what he thinks about. Yeah, it's just like, yeah, just we appreciate the opportunity. So the speedo deal's not going to go through. You know what I mean? Like, that's one of the things that I do respect about not just your story, but who you are as an entertainer.

Like the fact that you aren't afraid to do whatever it is you do regardless. or what anybody thinks about it. I'll tell you, man, this is the, it's not, it's not, there's fear comes with it. Like, but the thing that changed, changed my career,

a bunch of things, like little channel markers that I look at. But I remember I wanted to do a hip-hop dance video. And I told it to Rogan, and he was like, it's a horrible idea. And so I hired a dance coach,

and I learned a hip-hop dance. And I, who did a girl named D-Glazer. It's one of those girls online that does great dance videos in a, you know those ones that you see the great dance videos where like a bunch of people surrounding

and they're all like this. And there's like, D. Glazer, she's fucking awesome, man. So she taught me a dance. I learned a dance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm about to, yeah. That's a freaking name, too.

This probably is a set of. She's a beautiful young lady. She's an amazing dancer. Yeah, Delaney, yeah. You already got them downloaded. You're a little freaky man. She's dancing with everyone, man. She's like legit.

That is. So I did, I learned a dance from her And I did, I recorded it And what were you gonna do Like a workout exercise video? How shit, how the fuck she teach you hip-hop dancing? Wait. You just wanted to work with that bitch.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, that has nothing to do with it. I thought, how are you gonna learn hip-hop dancing from a white woman? Yeah, one and two. Yeah, I did. Okay, guys, and we're gonna go like this. She can fucking dance, okay?

I'm fucking legit dance. So I learned a hip-hop dance from her. You may have learned a hip-hop dance. She could dance. Pull up, her love. She could dance. Pull up, Bert. Hold up, Birdcrache shirt.

She's amazing, right? She could dance. I've been Burt dance video. But I don't think this is who you should have hired to teach you dance. Well, it's all I can get. No, it was. Don't do that. Don't do that.

Don't ask that question. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Why are you going there? Stop it, let it go, let it go. There's no reason. There's no reason. There's no reason. Millie.

No, was it Nellie. It wasn't Nellie. I'm not going to let you do this. I'm not going to let you do this to me. Listen, this is the word. This is Jali. What was? What song?

What's on? What's on? What's on? What's all? What's all? White people love Nellie. Oh, no. What's on?

And we guessed, you'll tell us. Okay. No. You did a hip-hop dance. In least the genre. The white guy did a hip-hop dance. What's a white guy doing a hip-hop dance? Really?

No. Then they got to get low, low, low, low, low, low. You're apple box. Open up. I wish I hadn't brought this story up right now. I just wanted to go away. What's on? Did you do a, okay, wait a minute.

No. Did you do a white rapper? No, there's too much melan in that skin. You did a white rapper? Vanilla ice? No, it gets worse. Eminem. Post-belone.

White average? White avocene. What? No. Which one? One was big. Which one? Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. Oh. Look, and she's like, I don't know what the fuck we're going to do. I just saw you. I caught you. What the fuck are we got to do with this? No. What is this going to do?

We did. We did. We probably paid a grip of money. I know you had footage of you doing it. Did this sound like it took six to them? We shot a video. No. You seen it?

You seen it? Hold on, hold on, hold on. But he got it. Can we put this on here? Can you put it on a screen? Burke. We don't have one. Burr, you really hired a white woman to teach you how to do hip-hop dance.

I did. I did. To post-ball, shut the fuck up. Post-malone. To fucking post-below. She came up with the dance. She came up with the dance. Now I'm really about to get roasted if you see the dance.

Because you're going to go, like. Put it. It's up there. I put it online. It's up there. Hold on. So, like, okay, before I get torn apart. there is the beauty of it

is that it was fun and it was different I of course I rip off the you guys see the video see you already talking about to get naked too fast Oh hang on let me see The rip his droves off

Oh yeah that's it Okay here we go here we go Here we go here we go Here we go What the fuck What the fuck? Bird What the fuck

Bro, what the fucking shit? Shut up, shut up, shut up, just enjoy it. Boy, she sold you a dream. Burr, what the fuck? Bird, look like you're having to seize you, man. Burr, I can't believe you pay for that, man. There you go. Wait, as a comic, you got to watch a whole thing

and you'll respect it. You respect it. Hold on, stop, stop, no, no, no, no, no, don't you're off. Man, stop. As a comic, tour date scroll on the right, right? Sold on my whole tour in 15 minutes. But I can't believe it. 15 minutes.

And then I can't believe it. And then the second shows, added third and fourth shows. So I did that, and that was something that no one said to do, right? I just did it. I believed in it. I put it out. And look, we, I hope the internet enjoys it. Grease on you, man.

I was sweaty. I did my third dance. I was sweaty. Hey, man, he only ate meat. Yeah. Smelling like barbecue ribs. All right, we got one more time, Bert. I can't take it.

But I did that and then that helped me get control of my career because that video went viral and it sold all the tickets. And that was something everyone said, don't do, stupid, whatever. But you do what sells tickets? And then I go, so what am I married to? Am I married to the idea of me? like this ego, this narcissistic ego of like, what do I think I am? Because I mean, when you, we all lay in bed, we think we're men, right?

We think we're like fucking tough dudes. I can't fight. I'm not a tough guy. I'm a regular fucking person. I have flaws. I can, that's good dancing. That's not good dancing. No, you guys go watch a video on your own.

It's not good dancing. That was not you could do. We can, all three of us could take you to somebody that we grew up. around that can teach you how to dance way, I'm talking about, and that's not how you start with dance. I mean, but no, no, but see that's the thing, Lowe's, he got to understand. This is a piece of information.

That's not how you start with that. You start learning the dance that will impress black people that you know it. No black person that knows any of that shit you were doing in that video. We would be looking at you like, what the fuck wrong? What's the wrong? But if you show up and do the electric slide,

that the tour was sold out, So that mean, some 50-year-old white dudes watched it and was like, Burt killed that shit. No, no, for sure. Thank you, Carlos. It wasn't for you. It wasn't for us. But I'm just saying, the way you explained it to us,

I have to take the opportunity to let you know how to be. If I did not do, if I was too good, I would have shown up and I'm going to be like, oh, it's all black people, fuck. I guess they're going to change my material, guys. No, no, no, no, no. That's the thing from saying how you're games. He said the shit went viral. Yeah.

That means that other white people saw him dance and it was like, we killed it. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure that shit was amazing in your community. But over here, what you knew. It doesn't matter. He did. It doesn't matter.

Hold on, hold on. This is what I want. That's very smart. Because I just want him to learn the election slap. He might know. I'll tell you what I want to do. He might know. What I want to do?

I really genuinely want to do. I'm obsessed with HPCU cheerleaders. That energy is. energy is you want to be in one of those fucking dances you know the kind where it's like they're in the stands and the one chick goes yeah you want to be on a step team dude he wants to stop stop for real for real for real black my my hbcc u has the best cheerleaders in the country i went to wins to sell them state they win the competitions all the time but i know what you're talking about you talk about when they get that you want to oh no you know what i love you know i love the most

is when there's tans, and the one girl goes, that's what you're in, that's what you're in. That's so badass. But you know what's cool? The sexiest is when, like, there's one chick up front, and they've gone, and the one girl goes, they say we can't dance on, da. And then another girl goes,

we can do the set, that. And then the front row, right, right? And then the second row, right? And then the third row. We bring the boom. We bring the boom. That shit fucking gets my dick hard. All right, ladies

gentlemen, Burr. No, no, we're not done. We're not done. We're not done. We're not done. We're not done. We're not fucking done.

Look at your team. We're fucking done. That shit is so, like, I wish. Now you have to donate to some HBCU. Immediately. Just know you had it. My girl is like, please stop. We got to go.

We got to go. We got to go. She crossed her legs and everything. She's like, this is fucking. Dude, that shit. It is so fucking wild. Please. Please.

Please. Is the HBCU's dick hard? Fuck me. No! I had HBCU reach out to me to work with me in Florida. Which one? I think there's Putham Cookman, maybe.

Oh, yeah, you should. I think so. They can use the promotion. Well, yeah, but there's also a point. We all can, man. There's also a point of, like, you don't want to look like the white dude, like, getting, using them to get views, you know what I mean?

You want to be in a, I have a perfect of course right. You shouldn't be that. For real? I can tell just from you being the type of person you are. I love, man. I love that shit. You showing up. I love, I really do like,

humanly appreciates. Black fraternities when they do their stuff shows, man, that shit is so. Can I tell you what I'm really excited for? This, now, I wish I hadn't said this. Hey, man. Let's just leave, right? Let's just leave. We were friends when this started.

I think we're still pretty fresh. We're even better friends now. I'm just expecting him to say the Black is a event. I can't wait for assiscible. Have you guys ever been? Oh, my God, I can't wait. Junete. Oh, my God, man.

You guys ever heard Frankie Beverly and Maze? They got this song, man. It's so fucking dope. Well, how does it go? Before I let go, I don't know what he's holding on to, but I don't want him to let it go, man. I fucking love that song. Amen.

No. And you know what's so crazy? There's no way you can make all this shit. No, it's the beautiful part about it. There's no way you can make this shit. You've got to love that part about it. You know it's genuine, man. This is amazing, man.

Now I just know this somewhere in white America. It's a whole bunch of burts. It's a whole bunch of birds. Yeah. They all sneaking and listening to rap and shit, thug holiday. Babe, it's our song. It's our song. Sucking it fucking.

Let's go. What it is. girl. What's up? Can I play it in them gun? Who is the one who do that ad lift? Oh, yeah. What a?

Come on, Bertie. It's no way to laugh. They're your number. I call. I call that ad. Through the mall. This is fucking. Crazy.

No, I know why the white people aren't laughing. They don't get it. They're like, I don't know what you're doing. No, they get it. They just know that they go have to get it. Like, give us that fucking footage now. Who's the shit on? Which one of you guys are there?

Come here. That white girl gonna grab one of the cameras and run out of here like Kanye West. Do you so I'll see. Give me the fucking put. Get off me. Get off me. Get off me. Get back to the truck.

Give me the fucking footage now. Give me to me. I pay for this footage. Give it to me now. Oh, man. To come back to the whole building, going to be chained up. Man, we can't get behind the gate. What if this changes your brand,

and you guys just have just the whitest people on for now on? What if this cat Williams is it? And they're like, God, man, this is crazy. White people are out of their fucking minds. And then you just go whiter or whiter. I mean, who's a white comic you like to have on that you haven't had on? Shit, Bill Burr. Yeah, Bill, Tom.

Tom got to come there. He always wants Jim Carrey on here. I can't argue with him. Kim Carrey, awesome. What about Shane Gillis? Shane talked some good shit. He's wild, man. He's fun.

Mark Norman's fun. Yeah, I did last comedy. Sebastian's a gangster. Sebastian's a fool. Sebastian was a fellow. I did last comic standing with Mark. Did you really? Yeah, Mark's very.

Yeah, who's another one? No. Very different. You should do that, man. extent. I like, because I love, I watch a podcast, but I mean, I've had fun today. I've had a lot of fun tonight. And I think it would be, I think it's fun

to watch other people. I mean, I love you like your boozy. Uh, boozy's fucking big way of this, man. I'm obsessed with a boozy. Sounds crazy when he said it. I love your fucking booty, boy. Bozzy's not going to appreciate that. Boosy's not watching this.

He's never heard he said and his name said, like, come on, man. Come on, man. Say my name like that. Man, come on. You know, boy, Burke, Christler. My name, Booty, man. Booty, man. I don't know a fuck with it.

Said booty, man. Tom, Tom Sugarbad and Burke Chrysler. Tom would be good on here. Tom, you guys have fun with Tom. Tom's too, man. Tom's good. Oh, shit.

Who? Bill Vaugh. I write with Theo. Yeah, Theo would be great. The thing is, man, we look at all. You need to do. You need to do more, you need to travel more, come out to L.A. and do all our podcasts. Go out to Austin and bring, come out, man, because I think, after this, we got to do Joe Rogan

because I think we just broke some type of barrier having this white man do all this shit on our podcast like that. I don't think that's ever happened before. I just wanted him to mention it on Joe Grogan. You thought it was Ron Luther King when I say I met Mike. Guys, did you see fucking Burt Crusher on 85 South? Play the clip. Bro, this shit is so fucking funny me

He thought that Martin Luther King was alive Shut up, stop, we got past it, right? I forgot I said it, and when he said it, I went, what? He thought that Martin, look at his face, pause it there, look at his fucking face as he looks at that black guy. He thought he meant Martin Luther King. You guys would be awesome old.

Yeah, man. He'd be awesome a rogue. Connected tissue is just a lot. comedy. We just love the same shit. We all like the same shit. We all laugh at the same shit. We all like breaking balls, talking wild. I mean, I don't know, man. Yeah. Some of us, more than others, Carlos. Do you want to fuck you? I love when I get a call from Carlos tonight. He's like, man, he said a lot of stuff I connect with. Now, every time you say the wrong shit, that lady right there got the best reaction. Yes. She had, fuck. Listen.

I don't even know what she knows. He had this and this so many different times. You're going to like, fuck. Oh, God damn. You're going to edit, man. We got after it. That's what happens, man. We could literally sit here and do this shit for real.

I could. Hey, I want to thank you guys for having me on. No, man. Thank you for a show. It's a fucking super great, man. This is a red and don't let it be the left. Yeah, yeah. We got a bag.

We got a bag for you. We got a bag for you. We got a bag for you. We know. you on my chair, but we got some anyway. Can I tell you? The only thing I wanted was some fucking merch. Thank you, God.

Thank you so much. This is fucking great. Gentlemen, real pleasure. Thank you. Yeah, let's do it. Let's get it. Thank you, man. Let's take you for a little.

Let's do it. Hey, this shit was amazing, man. It was funny as fuck, man. Hey, you guys are the barometer. Anything you don't like, take out. No, we're keeping all that shit, especially the model of the gig. IHart Radio and Sarah Spain in celebrating the one-year anniversary of IHart Women's Sports. With powerful interviews and insider analysis, our shows have connected fans with the heart of women's sports.

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