The 85 South Show with Karlous Miller, DC Young Fly and Chico Bean - Live From The Minneapolis Comedy Festival W DC Young Fly Karlous Miller Chico Bean | Ep. 190

Episode Date: July 17, 2019

The next generation of comedy superstars take that stage at The State Theater to cap off The Minneapolis Comedy Festival. DC Young Fly, Karlous Miller and Chico Bean take a trip down memory lane, twer...k with the fans and roast everybody. The 85 South Show brought the hood out and turnt up! Minnesota definitely piped up and showed what they all about! FOLLOW THE CREW KARLOUS MILLER - https://www.facebook.com/karlousm/ DCYOUNGFLY - https://www.facebook.com/DcYoungFly1/ CHICO BEAN - https://www.facebook.com/OldSchoolFool/ BILLY SORRELLS - https://www.facebook.com/billysorrells/ FAT AND PAID - https://www.facebook.com/Fatandpaid/ DARREN BRAND - https://www.facebook.com/darrenbigbab... CLAYTON ENGLISH - http://www.claytonenglish.com/ JOE T. NEWMAN - http://www.ayoungplayer.com CHAD OUBRE - https://www.instagram.com/chadoubre/ LANCE CRAYTON - https://www.instagram.com/cat_corleone_/ J.O.N - https://www.instagram.com/heeeyj_o_n/ CRIAG GRAVES - https://www.instagram.com/craigshoots23/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:46 this is The Turning, River Road. In the woods of Minnesota, a cult leader married himself to 10 girls and forced them into a secret life of abuse. But in 2014, the youngest escaped. Listen to The Turning River Road on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you.
Starting point is 00:01:23 Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. tune in on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. What the fuck is up, Minnesota! Welcome to the 85 South Show Experience! How y'all doing? I said, how y'all doing, Minnesota? How many of you guys watch YouTube and watch the 85 South show? How many of you guys have been to a live show? Well y'all in for some shit tonight because it's going down you are witnessing greatest tonight
Starting point is 00:02:04 this is the new kings of comedy tonight y'all we're about to get this shit cracking tonight y'all I got Chico Bean in the house tonight y'all I got D.C. Young Fly in the house tonight y'all Where are my ladies at? I got Carlos Miller in the building tonight y'all. You need to make sure you go to YouTube and subscribe to the 85 South Show. Go to all social media, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Follow the 85 South Show. We're doing something real special tonight, Minnesota.
Starting point is 00:02:49 We didn't know if y'all was coming out, so y'all came out to fuck with us and we love it. I'm gonna need y'all to stand up right now. We're about to get the show started. the show started come on Minnesota stand up my guys stand up Minnesota if you guys give them energy they're gonna give it right back to you if you've seen the show already you know these boys are the shit Minnesota start clapping right now start clapping right now welcome Minnesota this is the 85 show show Yeah
Starting point is 00:03:28 We in Minnesota Minnesota Minnesota Minnesota Minnesota Minnesota And we in Minnesota We in Minnesota We in Minnesota
Starting point is 00:03:43 We in Minnesota Hey you loo We fly Say what I thought it was with you See? Anybody see DC? That nigga out there?
Starting point is 00:04:02 Man, what the fuck D.C? Man, what D.C.? Oh, fuck, man, what D.C? Hey. We're in Minnesota. Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota. Minnesota. Minnesota.
Starting point is 00:04:19 Minnesota. Yeah, we in Minnesota. Minnesota. Minnesota. What? Minnesota Minnesota We in Minnesota No, no niggas not that
Starting point is 00:04:32 They got you in a lottoon, foo We in Minnesota Hey Minnesota We in here How to fuck that all y'all niggas in here Oh shit What's you say from?
Starting point is 00:04:57 One more time. I say, we're in Minnesota. We're in Minnesota. I need to crowd with us. Hold up. Hey, we in Minnesota. Minnesota. Minnesota.
Starting point is 00:05:15 Minnesota. Minnesota. We in Minnesota. Minnesota. Minnesota. Minnesota. Minnesota. Minnesota.
Starting point is 00:05:24 Minnesota. This nigger got an underarm odor But we're in middle fucking soda hey I say Minnesota Minnesota Minnesota Minnesota Gendo babe
Starting point is 00:05:39 I'm up in this bitch and I be chilling In Minnesota cities in the field I say I'm up in this bitch and I be chilling What she said I'm in Minnesota Titties in the building I said Minnesota Titty's in the building I said Minnesota
Starting point is 00:05:55 All the tinnies in the building. Hey, we got a bell city. It's good but let the field. There'll be some twin cities. She got the twin tits. They got the twin cities. Let go. She got them twin cities.
Starting point is 00:06:08 I said twin cities in the Twin cities. Hey, twin tities in the twin city. Hey, twin cities in the twin city. Hey, twin cities in the twin cities. All this shit left. Up top. She got me. So it's having.
Starting point is 00:06:27 Minnesota! Minnesota! Yeah. She got on her poetry. Yeah. Oh, these niggas. What's up? What are these, niggas.
Starting point is 00:06:41 This is a white woman. Yeah, white woman. Yeah. Yeah. Minam motherfuckers. All right. Bro, you know she had lit when niggins bring their white girl out.
Starting point is 00:06:54 Oh, tell you. The niggas bring their white lady out y'all have a seat. Niggins take his white girl out. That's an event. He about to tell you the same thing. He told me, Chico. Hey, niggins is in here yelling out of that shit. He said, we all putty make you sound like, thank you.
Starting point is 00:07:11 That niggas fuck raw for the first time. They made him hit something wrong ever since then. That niggins his life. I want to do a song with you. I'm like, now, dude? Exactly. God, die y'all. What's up, Ben of all good?
Starting point is 00:07:25 Nah, nigga, we in Minnesota. I did not know it was this many niggas here. Y'all makes a good nigger. Bruh. I'm talking about real niggins. We got every black person in the state in this bitch tonight. What you're talking about? What's up, boy?
Starting point is 00:07:43 I didn't know you all, but you didn't know y'all had this many women up here. I'm talking about fine, fine. Yeah. I'm sorry. Why should y'all do? I'm talking about, look at, look. Oh, what are you?
Starting point is 00:07:57 Yep. Where are it? That's a seat got there. Oh, Minneapolis, boy. They wouldn't. They wouldn't believe or shit we had to do to get here. Minneapolis? Minneapolis.
Starting point is 00:08:10 Minneapolis. That's one of them words. Every nigga that in school would fuck up. Minnipin. Mini Appo, me. A flat. She said, no. That's what I said, bitch.
Starting point is 00:08:23 We're from the South. We can't say this shit. We got some white women from Minneapolis. Anybody else from Wisconsin in here? Wisconsin. What a hell, Wisconsin? What was gonna say boo? Y'all fucking Wisconsin.
Starting point is 00:08:42 Oh, boo. Boo. Oh, shit. Boo. Hold up. Wait a minute. The niggas really just boo Wisconsin. You cannot blame all your problems on them, Nick.
Starting point is 00:08:56 What Wisconsin is that? Up that way? It's over there somewhere. Poetra hat, where is that? Poetra hat. Where's that? Where is Wisconsin? I don't get the mouth like that. That's that. You drove five hours. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:09:13 You didn't want to catch no fly. Listen, I ain't, man. Minnesota is a unique place. It really is. It really is. I ain't going to lie to you. I love you. I know it's real niggas everywhere.
Starting point is 00:09:25 There's plenty of real niggas in here tonight. I see it. I'm gonna keep it 100 with y'all. And y'all over here. All the real niggins are right here. I can smell the cigarettes. I'm gonna keep it 100 with y'all. I'll rather get alone for 50 cents
Starting point is 00:09:40 than to live out this motherfucker. This shit here. This is different. I knew it was a different place when the nigger told me, yeah, man, it's the home of Dick's last resort. I'm like, Dick's last resort, nigger. That sound like the last number in your phone.
Starting point is 00:09:55 That's my dick's last resort. Dick's last resort. Where y'all been all day? I ain't seen no black people all day. Just old white dudes with short khaki shorts on, walking around with their thighs back. What the fuck going on there? And white women and walk up, hey, don't you know?
Starting point is 00:10:14 I'm like, I don't know shit, man. Hey, how were you, don't you know? What you say? I used your lighter and you want to hit my blood. I got you, huh? D.C. Ah, that's fucked up. A, B, C.
Starting point is 00:10:34 Shit, that's fuck you. D.C. She looked like the girl from Lilo and Stitch. What's the name? She looked just like the girl from Lilo and Stitch. God damn, that is. It is, Tom, from Lilo and Stitch. Yes, it is.
Starting point is 00:10:48 Maui. Maui! It's Maui! We got celebrities. I'm trying to get your light about, man. Why you got a sad show? Oh, shit. Happy birthday to you.
Starting point is 00:11:03 Come on. Happy birthday to you. Come on. Happy birthday. Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Loose legs. Come on, sing a white man. Hey, they leave that white man alone.
Starting point is 00:11:17 That's Santa Claus. That nigga just do this on. He said, yep, sure am. Y'all better leave that white dude alone. That is the Undertaker step, brother. That's the cane. Look, man. Overtaic man.
Starting point is 00:11:28 How old are you turn? 32. You're looking good, 32, girl. Y'all make some noise for her. Who else's birthday in here? Who else's birthday? Look, look. Look at everybody lying.
Starting point is 00:11:38 Ooh, girl, you're about to say something. Look. I like her. For some reason, I just like her, bro. The girl, the birthday girl with them soft arms when they got this soft arm. Ooh, what you're going to do, too, Ooh, I just, I want to, I just want to bite that little back peep.
Starting point is 00:11:51 Ah. It'd be soft like tin to me. Ah, oh, don't get these thoughts. We got to yank it though. You got a delicious. Oh, I like it. Shout out to all the women who got the back titties that spill out the bra. You got about six back titties.
Starting point is 00:12:05 Ooh, I love a good piece of back titty. Look at her. They always try to move when you touch it, too. I know. She just adjusted her as me. You said she was like, yep, sure do. Uh, bitch. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:12:17 One, two, three, so. And I'm about take a pencil with a girl who got back titties. When I texted, they all were trying to move. I'm like, I'm like, bitch, I felt that. You ain't here with extra tinnies think I ain't about to touch it. Let me touch it. I am going to touch it. I am going to touch it.
Starting point is 00:12:33 What a hood at Minnesota? What's the east side? North side. What a west side? What the north side that? What side? What side? What's that you doing?
Starting point is 00:12:44 Hey, hey. This shit so. funny because everybody yelling out different sides. These he's looking for the west side. Nicky, this Minnesota. The west side is actually very nice. It is. The west side is fucking impeccable, it's a good view over that bitch. It's a bridge, my nigga.
Starting point is 00:13:03 The grass is thick, your kids can play outside. Don't even have to lock your door. Yeah. You better like it. Hold on real quick. You know we have, hey y'all, hey bro, we didn't came up, man. What happened? We got, we know we got the real niggas in the big. in the building everybody up top but there's some people I see right here
Starting point is 00:13:20 oh talk your shit then I want to talk to how are you guys doing oh oh they are white god they are wide hi what's up with you how the hell y'all know us what's up o g how are you ma'am jim kerry and not here motherfucker how are you sir how are you sir man we can't everybody we got everybody up in this bitch hey we got everybody up in this bitch hey hey we got everybody up in this bitch hey hey white folks gangsters in the thug oh talk your seat hey hey we got the white folks gaiters in the thug hey we got the white folks gaiters in the thug Hey, Carlo, Carlo!
Starting point is 00:14:12 You got the white ghost gangers in the fuck. Hey, we got another one man right here. Oh, I see. Yo. Yeah. You fuck with us right here. Oh, I see. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:24 I know you is gangster, but don't push me. I know you ain't regular because you bought some black pussy. Hey. Hold on, y'all. I don't need to prove. Who? White lady sitting next to the black dude. Who?
Starting point is 00:14:41 He's got out. And that's what it is. He's been hitting it for years and they got four kids. Damn. Hold on. I heard what you say. But let me back go and give me some bread. I said, what's up, me go?
Starting point is 00:14:58 Hold on, don't lie. But listen, look at this nigga, little ungly braze. Oh, hey, I can tell the white man gave me to the weed. He's a weed, but I ain't going to jail, nigger, you know what it is. All right. We got to go because these people crazy as hell. They got weed and song for sale.
Starting point is 00:15:28 Hello, ladies. Your brains look pretty. And plus you kind of cute, and you got back to it. Minnesota. What? I like you. Who? She couldn't find her babysitting and bought her kids in this bitch.
Starting point is 00:15:44 This motherfucker is like eight? How are you? You're 11? God damn. Look at her. Look at her. Hey, what's up? Look at her.
Starting point is 00:15:55 You ain't here dressed like a pillowcase. That's what's up. I like that. Sexy-ass pillowcase. Hey, Chico. I'm dressed feeling like the backseat of a Caprice. Oh. This is...
Starting point is 00:16:06 Hey, Chico, she looked like that lady that went on a date with Granddad on Boonduct. That bit smelled like outside. I don't want her. Oh my God, man. We're like outside. Hey, man. This the loudest audience again. That bit tight. You know why they live.
Starting point is 00:16:30 Because niggas don't come to Minnesota that often. CJ got in, that bitch. But hey, listen, y'all fuck that. Y'all got to claim to fame to one of the greatest niggas ever, Prince, niggins. Yes. That nigga, that nigga was a real niggum, man. Pretty.
Starting point is 00:16:47 You know Prince was fucking all the bitches. Because you were, man, how can you compete with Prince? You go, you're trying to tell your bitch don't go over Prince House. She go over Prince House. This nigga got a room full of all her favorite shit. Oh my God, Princess that a Birken bag, yeah, go in there pick one out.
Starting point is 00:17:02 That nigga Prince was cold. That nigga was so cold and he came on stage with his ass out. That niggins still watching. He was just, ooh-hoo. Whole ass. Whole ass. Out. Had the ass-out jeans.
Starting point is 00:17:20 There was any niggas in Minnesota fucking with the ass-out jeans and Prince bought him out? That niggas. Look at all the niggas. Like, nah, he was on his own with that one player. Shit. The ladies won't even wear that shit. Shit. Yes.
Starting point is 00:17:34 Love is crying. Y'all guys came out from the curtain, but I'm like, the hell. I'll tell you one thing. I know Prince. Ha! Then he was singing, if I was your girlfriend with the ass out of J. If I was your girlfriend, I'm like, no, Prince.
Starting point is 00:17:54 I would be the legend, man. Who the hell bought this old-ass chair up here, Nick? They're always finding some old-ass furniture now that. I don't know. We get a little money. Y'all need to find some real nice furniture on Offa Up. Not buying the cheapest shit on Offa Up. They got Dix's last resort. This is Chairs' last resort right here. That's the last chair they can find.
Starting point is 00:18:17 Hey, this is the chair you sit in when you refuse to divorce terms. Well, she wants $3,700 a month a house in the car. You tell that bitch, I said she could kiss my ass. That way to go to prison, sitting in that seat right now. Oh, yeah. It's that seat you sit there, your grandma's sitting in when you come in the house late. Ah! And her teeth be out.
Starting point is 00:18:45 You're smoking a cigarette? What the fuck did I tell you time to get in this motherfucker? You got a long nipple, grandma. Don't look at my goddamn nipples. Look at your watch and you to know what time to get the fucking house. Hot. Your teeth is in the way. What that bitch got a deep throat shit yes she does you heard that she all the way in
Starting point is 00:19:11 the back oh look we gotta find her here you go right there that bitch that bitch will never be lost right now this is the oldest theater in Minnesota right here this is the oldest theater in Minnesota right here this is the only This shit makes me feel like I'm a foul heartbeat. Live it up, deep-it-up, live it up, live it up! Oh! Shout out to all the ladies who have there deep-throated cucumbers, but you don't eat vegetables.
Starting point is 00:19:44 Bitch, hey, vegetables, swallowing. How not that cucumber? Stop, bitch. Hey, do y'all like all that shit? Hell no, man. No, I don't want to see. Nah. I don't want to see no lady. Swallowing no cucumbers.
Starting point is 00:19:59 Swallow it. No cucumbers. Suck on my dick. That's terrible. They put, they deep throat the whole cucumber. But suck dick like a mouse eating cheese. What fuck is wrong with y'all? Ain't nothing rare.
Starting point is 00:20:17 That's the worst shit in the world when the girl give your hit. Shout out to TDLA. Like, bitch, there ain't no cough medicine. Suck it. TdL.A. Shout out to all the real dick suckers out there. The real ones. When you ain't got it, you just go and grab your man belt poker to it.
Starting point is 00:20:36 Like, bitch, what you about to do? Go ahead, then, go ahead. I'm talking about the real dick suckers that suck dick to your eyes and your nose running. Them the real ones. Look at her, yeah, that, when the bitch looked like she just got an ass whooping real bad out and she finished sucking this. Hey, when you said that, you got to wipe your face. Did you feel the ladies in the back, lean back?
Starting point is 00:20:56 They were like, that's too much. Well, we're not looking for you, ma'am. bitch looking like she ate a whole bag of hot flimmy chitos she get a bitch wrong with you why y'all nose from an allergic reaction you just suck the dick amazing ma'am going there and get you some tissue I'm talking about them real dick suckers have a niggas sleep in the west fight with the fan on you go catch that spot be cold in a motherfucking on it you ain't gonna catch the flu boy you tripping oh ain't gonna catch the flu boy I betto that bitch that heat on but you tripped
Starting point is 00:21:30 The real... That ain't got a part in the head. You got a part of your hand, that? What that here right now? I mean, I see how, but they don't want to see nothing. Oh, no, he's holding on. My man, forehead. Nah, I got to see that.
Starting point is 00:21:44 There right there. Oh, Rico. Oh, no, you know what? It's the victory. Hey, you know, he got his shit cut like, like Moore's Day from the time. D-D-D-D-D-D-D. Hey, what you call that, OG? Oh, it's the Puerto Rico.
Starting point is 00:22:05 No, you know what you should call it, bro. You should call it the coochie. Because you got your shit shaped, just like a little coochie at the top. Like Frankie Lyman, and it's my... Why do you fall in love? Why do birds sing so gay? You're probably an R&B sing on the weekends, ain't you name?
Starting point is 00:22:27 What you do for 11? Got you? You work with kids? He said that shit, like, it was cool, cool. Hey, but what if he really do work with kids? What if he really do work with kids? He don't, he's not a teacher, he just got a job, and he's the only grown person there. And it's just kids.
Starting point is 00:22:43 They're doing grown people's job, but they're children. I ain't standing no goddamn 4.30, shun. Oh, man, I didn't forgot it was an 11 year old in here, just that quick. Oh, shit. Hey, bro, I bet you this ain't the first time she didn't watch this. Huh?
Starting point is 00:22:58 Huh? Just being her first time watching this. Yeah, her mama brought her to. Her mama snuck her in here. Yeah. And her shirt. That's it. Like, it's crazy now because when we, when I was growing up, we did fucked up shit,
Starting point is 00:23:16 but we just ain't had the internet. Now the kids got the internet, so it seemed like shit a hundred times working. We was doing all types of freaking shit when we was little. Ever played hide and go get it in Minnesota then? Who? Who played? Hold up. Who played?
Starting point is 00:23:31 Let's play right now. Everybody had on the count. Come on. Come on. We can... All right. This is a big, get a motherfucker. It's a lot of good high and spots in here.
Starting point is 00:23:40 What about manhunt? No, y'all play how to get. What about manhunt? What's that? What's that? Oh, nigger. You get a team, and they get a team. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:23:50 The one team can run. All y'all, yeah, it's a whole bunch of team. Everybody just run. you got to find everybody that's the same game no that's how I go get you get one nigger now manhunt is you hunt a lot of motherfuckers now it depends on how many people you find you get to hope whoever you find yeah those were the rules but this the thing though when you catch them they on your team oh yeah oh that make the game yeah because that's remember remember that first time you got that
Starting point is 00:24:17 good that good hunch in remember that first hunch and then you got that first hunch with the pants down but the draw oh my god but I thought I got a pregnant one time no you What happened? We was hunting with our clothes down and I just figured out I just figured she was pregnant. I don't know. We used a lot to. I ain't never even put nothing in but my dick hands slapped on the boot out that she's
Starting point is 00:24:38 pregnant. I don't know what we got to do. I did that one time. I did that one time because you know, I was young. You know, we were young. We wrote a Wrangler jeans. So I had on some wrangler jeans. She had on some wrangler jeans, but I pulled my pan down.
Starting point is 00:24:49 But she didn't pull her down and she was rubble on my dick. Y. Yeah. Oh. Hold of your grown. That's here, bitch. We got to stop. Hold on.
Starting point is 00:24:59 Did you see how quiet this room got? Because all the fellas that lost the game of that. Let me see yours and I show you mine. You fuck around and let her go first. They got they puzzles before we got our dicks. We still had dangleings. Remember when they had grown woman pusses? She was like, you want to see mine.
Starting point is 00:25:16 Look at this. You were like, ooh, yours got held. I don't want to play no more. What the fuck was there? What happened? What happened? What happened? Hey, Kootchah, this is scared, niggins.
Starting point is 00:25:28 Man, ah, Kootzah, oh my God. They had a whole pussy, period. We still had a Diggling and Spider-Man draws. But now, hey, I ain't gonna, I never get it. When I first got my people, I showed. Bro, think about this shit, now that you grown, you like, nigga, they had a whole pussy. We stand, wee, whee.
Starting point is 00:25:44 I got some to show you. Remember you said I wasn't grown? Look. You gotta say, nah, nah, this is. You gotta catch up when you get to high school. You wanna see it now? You gonna see? I think I'm in the game with you now.
Starting point is 00:25:58 You want to see it. Listen, man, close. I feel like the three white people right there doing a Yelp review on us. They just... They not. I'm gonna tell you what they're doing. They just sitting there like this. Yep.
Starting point is 00:26:10 That's another star right there. This is what he's sitting there doing. The white lady in the middle. I just want to buy them. I just... John, see how much you can buy them for me for. She can buy me. I fucking love him.
Starting point is 00:26:24 Boom. for the ancestors. Ever calling me D.C., young fly? She gonna be crying outside of her house. D.C., just tell me what the fuck you mean. That's all I'm sorry, I can't bring my ass here. All right. I don't have any ass to bring here, but just tell me what the fuck you mean.
Starting point is 00:26:47 I love you, white woman, go home. What if he really, another white dude back then enjoying it? He's just giving us white dude comments, man, these guys fucking rock, bro. rock, bro. This fucking show is so fucking rad, bro. It ain't nothing like when white people fuck with you because white people are mad. They show you love
Starting point is 00:27:04 different than anybody else. Oh my fucking God, bro. My fuck, bro. You know what the fuck that is? What the fuck, bro? Fucking Carlos Miller, bro. Oh, my fucking God. Put a stick up my
Starting point is 00:27:22 ass and call me a corn dog. Is that D.C. Youngflop? Yeah, bro. Bro. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, I got to fucking let you know, bro. Hey, hey, hey, D.C., hey, I let my girl know what the fuck I mean to your shit all the time, bro.
Starting point is 00:27:39 She loves you. She fucking loves you. Dude, shit the fuck up. I'm like digging and not call me a Christmas present. Is that Chico Bean? It is, bro. How many do you got? Come in a goddamn raccoon's dad.
Starting point is 00:27:52 Is that fucking Carlos Miller? That was it. Oh, he's got plenty. Give him another one. Got two. Give him another one. We'll put some juice on my nuts and call me a pickle. Wow.
Starting point is 00:28:04 You're fucking awesome, dude. You're fucking amazing. One more, one more. Go ahead, one more. One more. Give him another one. One more. Why don't you put some cream around my ass and call me a donut?
Starting point is 00:28:19 Hey, hey, or maybe a bagel. Untoasted. Untoasted! Oh my God! Whoa, boy! Y'all-histoed bagels, bro. Hey, hey, let me suck your titty and call me an infant. How about that? All righty. You guys are fucking awesome. Hey guys, now it's a party. We're fucking loose. We're fucking loose. Are you having a great time?
Starting point is 00:28:44 Because I feel like you're not having a great time. Are you having a great time? Okay. What's up, dude? You think a mean bugger like a motherfucker. What's your name? man Frank Ryan Ryan his name Ryan what's up Ryan he got a hearing problem he'll see you yeah he do Brian Brian Ryan oh okay what's up Brian are you gonna secure us I mean only did you know that this was in your security detail
Starting point is 00:29:10 tonight three black men not just three black man three niggas he gonna be it's gonna be crazy when they're explaining to him honey how was work tonight don't you know oh honey you're not gonna believe it I went to the state theater and you know it's been there for a long time, don't you know? And I came in there tonight and there were a hundred black people in there before there were anybody else. And then three my white friends came in and they was like, hey, Brian, I was like, hey, don't you know these are guys here to see these guys? And then they kept talking to me. I was trying to ignore them, but then there were tithies in my face and they kept making me look at them, honey.
Starting point is 00:29:49 I didn't touch him, though. I probably. Amen. That's what y'all say, don't you know? I don't even, the white people gonna have a meeting after this show. And we're like, look, we have a problem. It's way more of them than we ever thought. Niggers don't say that.
Starting point is 00:30:03 The white people do. Y'all say, don't you know. So what the niggins say? Hey, time back. Huh? That's not no damn Canada. I've been to Minnesota. What's up, way?
Starting point is 00:30:14 I went through the Mall of America. I got hit with the don't you know, like three, four times. Oh, you're unwhaling out. I like that show, don't you know. Do everyone fuck with the Vikings? They ain't fucking with you? Look at that they ain't dressed like it later and shit. Yeah, they didn't bought their Tommy Hill figure outfits.
Starting point is 00:30:32 Look at that. Yeah. That's a real black history moment right there. When y'all get a matching Tommy Hill figure outfit, y'all in love, love, me. Y'all got to go take a picture with an airbrush background and standing cover like this. How long you been with a bruce in night grade? You've been over four months and y'all already dressed like that pussy. Good.
Starting point is 00:30:54 Man, please stand up so these ladies could have a robot. Please. That's a little sister. Where your man at? You need to get some... It's skipped the generation. Your little sister got the best pussy in the family. She's been fucking this, this nigga, four months,
Starting point is 00:31:10 and that nigga already dressed it like her. Where you're man at? Your pussy trash. You got four babies. You got four babies. Oh, that pussy good too. Oh, look. Not four children.
Starting point is 00:31:22 You got four babies. 14, 13, and 10. And you 35. Oh, look. You 35 with a 19-year-old. That pussy throwback. And you know that. In sitcoms, when someone has a problem,
Starting point is 00:31:45 they just blurt it out and move on. Well, I lost my job and my parakeet is missing. How was your day? But the real world is different. Managing life's challenges can be overwhelming. So what do we do? We get support. The Huntsman Mental Health Institute and the Ad Council have mental health resources available for you at loveyourmindtay.org.
Starting point is 00:32:07 That's loveyourmindtay.org. See how much further you can go when you take care of your mental health. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney. the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all, childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health struggles, and more
Starting point is 00:32:44 and found the shrimp to make it to the other side. My dad was shot and killed in his house. Yes, he was a drug dealer. Yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on a street corner. He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal. He was shot in his house, unarmed. Pretty Private isn't just a podcast.
Starting point is 00:33:03 It's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. tune in on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Our IHeart Radio Music Festival, presented by Capital One, is coming back to Las Vegas. September 19th and 20th. On your feet. Streaming live only on Hulu.
Starting point is 00:33:29 Ladies and gentlemen. Brian Adams. Ed Sheeran. Fade. Chlorillaurella. Shelley Roll. John Fogarty. Lil Wayne.
Starting point is 00:33:36 L.L. Cool J. Mariah Carey. Maroon 5. Sammy Hagar. Tate McCray. The offspring. Tim McGraw. Tickets are all sale now at AXS.com. Get your tickets today.
Starting point is 00:33:49 AXS.com. That's right. Low back, pussy. All the way back. What idea? So you can see a team. She been fucking since Chris Carter was playing with the Vikings. Damn.
Starting point is 00:34:09 Oh my goodness. So what your baby daddy then? So what you're man there? Shit. Okay. I mean at work. Shit. You better know what to fuck with it.
Starting point is 00:34:22 Doing construction. Okay. I'm not about to fuck no later with four children. I am. I'm not. I'm playing only. That means that a nigga knew she had three kids and left in. That's some good pussy.
Starting point is 00:34:34 I don't want to fuck with that psychology. That pussy changed your life. There's three kids in there sleeping. You're like, you know what? I want some kids. in this house, hell no, that fourth one was on purpose. Let me tell you something. Fungle with a girl who got four kids, that shit, like a field trip.
Starting point is 00:34:51 What kind of field trip? You're gonna count on me one time a year, bitch, one time a year. What you mean? What, that's fucked up? That ain't fucked up, bitch, you know what the fuck going on, man. You need a real nigga to come fucking four of them nine. That ain't gonna come from me. It ain't gonna take no real nigga.
Starting point is 00:35:08 It's gonna take a drug dealer. Only drug dealer. Come through footing all in my kid. We got a limb. I got myself, she got her four, we got 12 and a dog. Everybody got top. An old dope dealer with some 28s on a suburban. You need a truck.
Starting point is 00:35:28 A nigga from Detroit, something like. You're from Detroit? Oh, okay, I thought he was from Detroit. I was like, no wonder you got your shit cut like a nigga from Motown. That's what it is. I'm telling him. That niggas is a prasoprano.
Starting point is 00:35:46 I get you. This nigga, hell, boy. That nigga been screaming the whole time. Yeah, yeah. That nigga just happy. He ain't locked up this summer. It's my first son, I said I was 16, boy. Here you, Tom, man.
Starting point is 00:36:03 Where are you from, OG? St. Who? St. Paul, East Side. Park, East Side. Yeah, let me y'all to fuck alone. Y'all are deep at hell. Wait, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, hold up, hold up. Oh shit, hold up. Oh shit, we got a game.
Starting point is 00:36:22 D.C. Who else in this bit? Oh, shit, hold on. Wait a minute. The white dude was like, fuck that shit, bro. No. Even the white dude, was like, even the white dude. Even the white dude, even the white dude, you don't believe in the shit.
Starting point is 00:36:38 So what is in there, White Man? What it is there? What it is there? He said North Minneapolis. North Minneapolis. North North. No, no. No, no.
Starting point is 00:36:55 Okay. No, no. Okay. Wait, boy, you got a friend. Holy fuck up. That was another name. We could have just did the show on the north side. Uh-oh.
Starting point is 00:37:06 No, north. Hold on. No, we got the north. We got the east. Who else has beat? That's it. That's it. That's it.
Starting point is 00:37:14 Look at Nana walk into the, what's up, baby? Oh. See, look. He go to Candidator from the North Side. Look at Nana. Walk up there, hold up. Look at Nana. What she is?
Starting point is 00:37:25 She did a candle later on the north side. Come in the red shirt. Yeah, look up here. Loose cigarettes. Give me, baby. Ah. Two, I do. A little,
Starting point is 00:37:33 D. D. Bid. Bid. To do. Just like candy. She can say it when you walk. Even when you talk, it takes over me.
Starting point is 00:37:47 Just like candy. How I won't know. Can you feel it too? Just like I do. Woo. There's nothing starting now. It's the same feeling that I only want to get around. He don't know it.
Starting point is 00:38:11 Time out. He don't know that one. He don't know that song. I know some shit. You know. Oh, we're halfway there. Oh, living on a prayer. Take my hand and we'll make it, I swear.
Starting point is 00:38:30 What? You don't know that? What kind of music do you listen to? Huh? Hell, no, that was it. All right, we're gonna find. Man, I know some shit, you know, what's this? Well, I'm gonna take my horse at our hometown road and go to.
Starting point is 00:38:46 That's a nigga song. Nope, that's a nigga song. Okay, that's a nigga song, uh-uh. I got one phone. Go ahead, fly. I got one form. You ready for it? You ready?
Starting point is 00:38:58 Is you ready? Oh, what's Philadelphia? Born and raised on the playground. Where I spent most of my day. Chillin' out man, sitting down good, no. All right, what they said? Ah, damn it, white man, shit! Oh, right man, hold up.
Starting point is 00:39:14 I got one, I got one, hold up, no, fuck then, I know this. You know he know this one, hold up. You got one for you, go ahead. Got one for him. Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name. Come on, white man. Oh, he know that. Now, now, now, now.
Starting point is 00:39:31 Come on. And they're always glad you can. Come on, white man. You wanna go where people see He ain't got no TV He ain't got no TV, right? You wanna go where everybody knows your name. This nigga ain't got no TV, man.
Starting point is 00:39:48 Jesus. You live in a cave, white man? You ain't got shit. You don't know nothing. Hey man, give up on him. Oh my goodness. We didn't lame all the white people. I know the white people there know a couple of songs.
Starting point is 00:40:00 Hey. Which one? Hey, hey, I bet you guys be at the house fucking a Lady in red is dancing with me. That's a good one name. Just a city boy, born and raised in South Detroit. He took the midnight train going anywhere. Come on, White.
Starting point is 00:40:26 I don't know that's it. Don't stop believing. Look, security. He's like, you will not do that. You will not do that to my brother You will not do that to my brother Oh no White man
Starting point is 00:40:40 One more time Don't stop Believe it Hold on to that feeling Delight people Damn Oh shit That thing is hold on to that feeling
Starting point is 00:40:57 That's how white people do when they be fucking A blessing this is going To that feeling Oh shit. This is an all-inclusive show here then. Shout out to all the white ladies out here who have black children and you have no idea how to do their hair. You're just doing the best you. You're just wrapping it up with your stupid ass.
Starting point is 00:41:18 You're mad because your children can say the end word and you can't. Ah! You can't say that. Yes, I can. Shut up, niggum. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Hey man, cut it out. They know they say as soon as they cloned through. They just can't wait. Nigger, shit!
Starting point is 00:41:40 Lute y'all right here. This white lady got the 85-so shirt on. What's up, baby? That's a real white man. You got your head done like the way lady that came out the TV on the ring. I like that. Man leader alone. She do got that cut like Annabelle, though.
Starting point is 00:42:09 Oh, my goodness. Topanga. Oh, my goodness. That was the shit right there, boy. Borgbe's world. No, that's boy. Boy, that's Tampanga. Oh, I think. Blasasas.
Starting point is 00:42:25 Tampanga. Don't do that. Oh, shit. What? Tepangar rid of a light skin. She was not white. Topanga had a bad ass. I would be like, so listen, Cory. This was the shows. We had the real...
Starting point is 00:42:39 Doesn't think sitcoms don't exist no more. We had to sitcom. Like, niggins, Martin was the greatest show ever. Talk your shit. Ever. I don't care with nobody. It don't matter how many times you've seen Martin. It's on, you're gonna watch it again. Right now.
Starting point is 00:42:55 You're still watching it right now. Right now. Everybody, what's going on? All right. So let's try to get... Let's try to get the top five episodes of Martin ever. Okay, my first, first one. All right, you know what, we're going to do this? I want to do one.
Starting point is 00:43:08 You give me your top episode, you give me your top episode, and I... All right, I'm... Hold on, hold on. I won't mind when he had the, when he had the dog. Oh, ooh, ooh, ooh, when Brumman stole the CD player? And what? That d'nick of Browman came back and he said, Hey, Martin, I appreciate you for letting me use your CD player.
Starting point is 00:43:27 He's like, Brumman. He's like, yeah, man, you ain't get that note. I left you up under the bathroom sink. What note, bro, man? I figured you looked there since I used up all the tariff paper. My joint was when, uh, it's a tight, it's a tie. It's either between when him and hip man, Hurne's fault. Or this is my other one when motherfucking Jerome fell in love with Pam, Nick.
Starting point is 00:44:03 Oh, that war cold. That was cold. That was cold. I was cold. My number one episode, though. When that nigga went to Von Neal Hill, that's my favorite episode. When Van Neal Hill came on, kissed the pretty ladies, and then signs some autographs,
Starting point is 00:44:18 the Varnel Man Ken, shit, boink, boing. What about the one where he, when he went to the church and he went crazy, he had to fuck. Oh, Sequeel Sunflower. Sequeel Sunflower. That one when that nigga was fighting that wreck on that resort? Oh, my God. That ain't no goddamn puppy!
Starting point is 00:44:38 That nigga Martin was cold, man. You can watch shit like that. Fresh Prince. Famous episode of TV ever is when Fresh Prince, when that nigga father ain't come pick him up for every nigger that they ever been let down by their father. You know, and my father was dead, so that nigga couldn't come pick me up.
Starting point is 00:44:55 But that's crazy. I mean, hey, it happens. But most niggas that got daddies, black daddies have been told. Hey, man, get dressed. I'm coming to get you. And that nigga don't come. That episode made you feel that thing. That shit was real. Also real niggie shit, though. You ain't never give up on your daddy. You've saved there all goddamn night. You just stayed up. Baby, he's not coming. Yes, he is, bitch. Your brother. Ain't nobody make you get up until your grandmom and say. Come on, baby. Go get you the rest. Come on, baby. Come on, lay down. He's not coming today. He's not coming today, baby. That nigga, Fras President was like,
Starting point is 00:45:33 I told myself how to fight, I told myself how to play basketball, I told myself how to do everything. I don't need him! Why he don't want me? I felt that, when he said that, why he don't want me? I was like, oh no, why he'll want him? I looked like Uncle Field with my hat off. That shit is stupid, man.
Starting point is 00:46:01 You do a little like young Uncle Phil. Like right before he got with ArtVille. We should probably do the pre-presh, fresh, though, let you be young. Another step on sitcom is the Jamie Fox Show. Jamie Fox Show was funny than a motherfucker, too. Jamie was lit. man he got with jingles 2,000 it was making up them jingles when they made that
Starting point is 00:46:23 Jamaican road song man that shit was hilarious when him and Braxton had the Michael Jackson contest with the Coles episode man look at hello fuck TV what happened it's some ladies out here that needs some dick I feel it in the room uh-huh it's a vibration because the show going good but it's a it's a it's an emptiness in the room it's a vibration you can feel it too that she go birthday girl with the birthday crown on her head put it yeah yeah sit down sit down oh oh mama stand no no you stand up you got an 85 South show glitter dress oh turn around mama saw oh oh oh her ass all on the back of your head move oh hell yeah oh I love a bitch
Starting point is 00:47:10 you can't hug all the way You better hit our shoulders. You be trying to hug her like. You're trying to hug her like. This thing is retarded, bro. A real, bro. I love you, baby. You find.
Starting point is 00:47:42 Like that glitter. All that glitter. All that glitter. She's got a dress made out of Michael. Jackson glues. Yeah, yeah. She got that ass. It's all up on her back.
Starting point is 00:47:53 Yeah. Little nigger like me be jumping up on that ass like the bouncer house. I want some. Get off my girl booty, man. What's she doing? She go, you got it. You got it. Go ahead.
Starting point is 00:48:07 Go ahead. My girl, booty, man. What is wrong with me? Hold up. Y'all fucked up. You ain't do no back of flip. Don't you fucking do it. Don't you do it.
Starting point is 00:48:16 Don't you do it. Don't you do it. This is the track. Have to be some dumb-ass shit your cousin come over your house and try to do. Do a backflip off the couch. Break the goddamn arm. You bullshin. Now your mama come home.
Starting point is 00:48:26 How the fuck did the goddamn, who broke the, who the fuck broke the goddamn arm? I can't have shit. Hey, y'all, you know what happened? When your mama come home, all y'all sit down waiting to see you won't get their ass with first. She walked in and already know y'all lost some bullshit. What the fuck y'all looking so goddamn stupid? Remember that conversation y'all had before she come home though? Everybody, hey, look.
Starting point is 00:48:47 Look. Who broke it? You? I know I did. You tried to do a backflip off. But you told me to do it. No, but you got up there. When you broke it, you.
Starting point is 00:48:56 Everybody, calm down. Look, we just gonna say that we came in the house and it was like that. She's not gonna believe that stupid. Oh, love, let me fix it. She's not gonna believe that. Ooh, ooh, I got a perfect idea. What, what? It was a tornado.
Starting point is 00:49:15 What kind of tornado? What kind of tornado? Oh, okay. Man, that shit ain't staying up, man. Damn, man, why you gonna do that? Fuck, I go get some glue from there, though. No, no, no, no, go. Get up, get up.
Starting point is 00:49:30 Put that one together. Oh, yeah, yeah. Uh-uh, uh-uh, we need a cover. Yeah, put that over there. Put that over there. Then, Chico, you gag like you sleep when she come in. Send it out right, set it all right. Straight up, straighten up, straighten it up.
Starting point is 00:49:45 Hold on, hold on, hold on, y'all hit it? I hit it. He's coming in, he comes, he comes, he comes! He comes! He comes! Stop crying. Yes, yeah. Stop off.
Starting point is 00:50:36 That's here. Huh? Hey, hey, ma. You said come here? Hey, ma. Come in your room. Come in your room. Huh? No, ain't, ain't nothing wrong with it. What you mean, why it's pushed together?
Starting point is 00:51:22 She said mood, move to count. Who the fuck broke that y'all dick? Paint your motherfucking ass over here! No, because I told him to stop. I told him to stop, but he didn't want to stop. Okay. Mama want you. Tell her I'm dead already.
Starting point is 00:52:30 Mom, mama, mama. He said him dead already. Okay She said you better get your black guys in there before she killed you again Get up Stop playing she gonna beat all of us going and tell what you did Come on, we're supposed to go to play ride bikes go to her and tell her you did Sorry.
Starting point is 00:53:07 Mama, him said, mm-mm. Okay. She said, if she got to get up out there bed, and miss the rest of her stories, fucking with your stupid ass. You're gonna wish you wasn't born, so you better get up and go in there and talk to her or else everybody getting fucked up Get up, you better get up. I ain't getting another woman. You're gonna get you're gonna get your ass I told ya oh damn stupid a Help me clean the living room gone in there
Starting point is 00:54:02 He the scariest one Mama, you, mommy, you hungry? Yes. I didn't, I didn't, I didn't... No, I didn't want to, no, I don't want to... Why do that? Why y'all do that? Why y'all don't know I did there?
Starting point is 00:54:39 Oh my God! You don't know. Okay. Okay, no. You okay? That means it. That means he. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:55:22 Oh. Oh. Is that bad? Yeah. Is that bad? Yeah. You bleed. Bleed.
Starting point is 00:55:30 When she hit you with? Everything. Oh. Boy, everybody ain't been abused. You can tell about a laughter. Everybody here got that one ass whooping that they thought about last. She ain't had to do me like that. Boy, I tell you.
Starting point is 00:55:50 Look, let me ask the crap. What some of the stupidest shit you ever got a whooping for? Going to the eye cream. Oh, say what? She said she got an ass whooping for a hanger bin on the floor. A hang of being on the floor? What happened? You got an ass whooping for saying you're going to call your daddy.
Starting point is 00:56:10 Your mother ain't had a number, that was. Hey, if... Look at the white people like, what's the water? Time out. I'm about to say, if we get an answer from this, this is gonna flip the whole world. Oh, he'd left. He knew this shit were coming.
Starting point is 00:56:28 And then I got up out of here. Oh, they're abusive. Got to go. Hello, ma'am. My name is Chico Beat, and I don't sleep. Could you tell the crowd here, the crowd here, the 85 South Show, what is the stupidest thing you ever got your ass whoops for? I've never gotten your ass whooped? What the fuck do you stay on the ranch?
Starting point is 00:56:53 She stay with horses, oh my goodness. Damn, white lady. How can you keep getting out we fought with you? That's one of these Hispanic people. We want to translate that ass whooping into English tonight. Let me see some. Find somebody Spanish, D.C. Why you ain't get up?
Starting point is 00:57:16 Hey Brian, sit down. You ain't got to go nowhere, man. I know you. You just got up. Your stomach got up before you. Sit down. Yeah, Brian, you relax. You're good. You're good, Brian. Just chill, bro. This gonna be an easy night of work for you. Oh yeah, we go there. All these family are right here, Brian. Wait a second. Oh, nigger with the suit coming down. All right. Is this your wife here?
Starting point is 00:57:36 Is his wife? All right. What's the story? stupidest thing that you ever got your ass whooped for. I mean, the bars closed. I'm gonna get my ass whipped for that probably. What? On the building? Oh my. You tried to get your homeboy's wife a drink and he gonna beat your y'all in that freaking shit.
Starting point is 00:57:55 Alright, I know what y'all gonna do. Yeah, they're gonna get drunk and I'd be like, dude, put your dig in her mouth. Yo, white people really didn't... Where the white people there? They got their ass whoop. I'm talking about real white people. That's the white girl in the front. The trailer park white people, where ya at?
Starting point is 00:58:11 Where you at? The trailer park white people. The house sitting on bricks way you at? Hold on here with the tent is out. She got a whoopin before. Let me ask my man Brian. Brian, you're a big boy. You're a big boy.
Starting point is 00:58:23 Yep, he's a big and. You've been in the game for a while. What's your stupidest thing you've ever got your ass whoop for? I'm gonna say when I was really young. Your voice is like that, my name? Do you see what his voice sound like? What's that like? I think a big air.
Starting point is 00:58:45 You're like, what? What's he got your ad for? Uh, well, I just want to let you know, but I... He's a friendly guy. When I was about 14, I was like, uh... Wait, let Brian explain what he got his ass looked for. So, uh... Oh my goodness.
Starting point is 00:59:02 Uh, when I was my birthday. I love, fly. Let it, we got to hit a wrist. So it was up at the grandpa's house, and I was just. grandpa's house and I was like five, got behind the wheel of his car, was jumping up and down, put it into gear and went through the neighbor's fence. Wow, wait, you guys didn't hear it. He said he was five years old at his grandpa's house and he jumped in his grandpa's car
Starting point is 00:59:22 and put the motherfucker in drive and drove his grandpa's car through a fence. You only got your ass whoop for that? Listen, every nigga in here would be dead, dead a motherfucker. If they drove their grandpa car, Grandpa Catalan! Grandpa Cadillac through the fence. Hey, Chico, couldn't you see your grandma just dragging you through the neighborhood? Lord, why I had to kill my grandson
Starting point is 00:59:45 for fucking with my car, Lord. I didn't know you wanted him this soon, Jesus. You should have said something. Damn, Brown. What kind of car would, Brian? Bullishy. Like a little station wagon. It was like a sedan. He said it was like a sedan.
Starting point is 01:00:05 Chigo, that shit was so funny to what he said it, though. I don't even know if the people heard what he said. He said, yeah, when I was about five years old, I was over my grandpa's house. Grandpa's fuck is Grandpa. No, it's Grandpa's. Grandpa. But we got Papa, Pop-Ops. We got Papa.
Starting point is 01:00:22 O-G! O-G! I'm from the South. We got Grandin'ed. I need a good one, no. Grandin' dead. I say, stupidest shit I ever got my ass whoop before. I got on the wrong bus when I was a young nigga.
Starting point is 01:00:34 We was downtown D.C., right? And my mother used to let me run around in front of her by myself. So we used to catch the 62 to get back uptown. So I got on the 64. And I looked around and my mama wasn't on the bus. Oh, my mom ain't on here. This is like, oh, man, this mama ain't on the bus. Nigger, my mama ran down and seen me getting off that bus.
Starting point is 01:00:56 Nigger, she whooped my ass in front of a hex. Hex don't even exist no more. It was a department store. But I was getting my ass went so bad in front of the store People were standing in the window like, damn, what do he do? On the street. For the worst-ass woman I ever got, I was in my grandma's house. Anybody know about a trailer?
Starting point is 01:01:14 They got the steps that's just like this that's just attached to this trailer. So you know, like, the concrete on the steps start cracking this shit. So me and my cousin, like, man, we're going to help grandma get us steps together and get all these crack pieces off that bitch. We was too young to understand that without the crack pieces, it wasn't no goddamn steps. So when we got all the shit off, she came outside and saw the new steps was fucked up and she was like, get y'all ass thing her Man, she whooped us so goddamn long.
Starting point is 01:01:44 I don't even know if I'm related to my grandma. That bitch whooped me like a stranger. Well that was, you know what? My stupidest ass whipping was when I went to the ice cream truck, Nick. Went to the, I think it about 9-8 degree, nigga. My mom said, don't go on that corner with them boy. I heard that goddamn truck. that goddamn truck.
Starting point is 01:02:04 I said, fuck that. I'm gonna go out of the street. I go up the street, get me some ice cream home. All you hear ya, John, your mama coming up the street. And you know my mama, oh, niggins. She had her cane, nigger. Oh, you see what this. Nigger, I have my bite and my eye cream,
Starting point is 01:02:25 so I come back down and, you know, I'm trying to tell her, Mama, I just got an ice cream. I just gotta, don't you know she picked that cane up turning up and pootentine, wha, ice cream failure. Ah! See, like, get in the house, man, I've got my ass whoop for going to get an ice cream. Let me ask you this.
Starting point is 01:02:41 You ever got your ass whoop while you was riding your bike? When your mama just pop up like a motherfucking ninja, you're right. Ah ha ha ha ha! You know, you're up to speed. Your mom's here waiting on your head to pay back. Why? Didn't I tell your ass to get out here and get the goddamn wow?
Starting point is 01:03:01 I remember my mom. Damn, she ain't really knock me off the bike, the bike kept rolling. She ain't even, she ain't even really whoop my ass, but you can't, when you young, you can't laugh at your parents if they fuck up like, as a child. I can't. No, I couldn't.
Starting point is 01:03:14 My dad had all the time. I remember my mama, right, but mom, if you watch it, I'm sorry still, that shit was hilarious. But my mama was in the freezer, right? Or in the refrigerator, and the freezer door was open. And she lifted up and hit her
Starting point is 01:03:29 head on that freezer and then to lift the whole floor. refrigerator up, niggas, ah, ha ha, boy, she was like, oh, come here. You think shit funny around here, huh? I'm like, well, I know they're shit funny rap, me, I could have killed my goddamn self. Didn't have had no mom or no daddy, a little big-haired ass, a little nigger. Nigga, my daddy had all times, nigga, that shit. Some shit, Tijuana would do, the real shit.
Starting point is 01:03:54 Hey, nigga, my daddy had all the time, Chico. She'd be funny in hell, bro. He used to add me, you want to go get something to eat? I'm like, hell, yeah. He was like, what you want? I'd be like, want some McDonald's that. Nick, we're getting in the car, nigga, ride.
Starting point is 01:04:06 Ride. Ride. Nigger, just ride. Nigger, this is. Nick, that ain't McDonald's ride. I'm like, Daddy. I want to go to McDonald's. He's like, oh shit, dude.
Starting point is 01:04:16 I forgot. Nick, that's. Hey, that's the worst feeling in the world as a kid. When you got to keep riding past their McDonald's and you're scared to ask, you're the way past the third one. Mommy, could I get some McDonald's? What does he say?
Starting point is 01:04:29 We got McDonald's at the motherfucker. fucking house. I ain't buying no goddamn McDonald. See, I got an ass whooping for that. Word! One time my mama told me, we got McDonald's at the house. I can get to the house. I wait about 20 minutes. Sitting on the couch. I walk back. Where your McDonald's bad. Ooh.
Starting point is 01:04:46 Yeah, she definitely will joie. She ain't make the burgers or nothing. Just ass whooping bed. Damn. As whoop in bed. You know what? But I'm serious shit. One day we went to McDonald's and they forgot to give me some stuff. they forgot to give me some sweet sour sauce and my grandma wouldn't go back.
Starting point is 01:05:04 She took, she took you. I was like, Grandma, they didn't give me no sauce, you gotta go back. She was like, I ain't going back, baby. You don't eat that goddamn sweet and sour sauce. Hell, I don't know how to make sweet sour sauce. This is where I fucked up at. I was so hurt because you know you can't eat nuggets without no sauce. I said, Grandma, you are you alive.
Starting point is 01:05:26 She ain't whooped my ass for that, but guess what she did, Nick. What? Nigger, she went home and made sweet and sour sauce. Not her version of sweet and sour sauce. Nika, my grandma knew how to make McDonald's sweet and sour sauce in her house. She wouldn't let me see her do it, but this bitch hands sauce in the house. That's amazing. I just realized some fellas, I had the wrong goddamn question. What happened?
Starting point is 01:05:49 Don't ask these niggas down this shit. Go back, walk off. They don't tell you, no. I asked you what's the worst thing you ever got your ass before. What is the stupidest thing you ever got to put? putting time out for. Oh, I'm gonna tell your father, mister. Probably driving well high, but he got me out with a pizza.
Starting point is 01:06:09 You were driving while high and he got you out with a pizza. This is your dad. This is time out, time out. These white people starves. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 85 South Show and we present to you shit that can only happen to white people starring my white man. All right.
Starting point is 01:06:25 How did that happen? I was driving well high. You got me out with pizza. man with pizza. How did you drive well hot? You heard it is. How did you get him out with the piece? It was good pizza.
Starting point is 01:06:35 It was good pizza. I don't trust these wife. Oh, look. That's his dad. That's his uncle. Oh, that's his, that's a dude. That's his dad. Because he get up every time you go fuck with him.
Starting point is 01:06:45 All right now. Brian, are those your children? Let this be your last goddamn question, I'll tell you that. You gotta ask different question. Damn, I wish we can fuck with y'all up top, but y'all is in 1965 up there. That's that part of... That shit is segregated.
Starting point is 01:07:04 I know. Y'all was born by the river, sitting far as shit. Oh, and just like the river. They're smoking up there, though. Yeah, yeah, they're smoking. Oh, yeah, it's the loop. That shit up there looked like he said hi, don't it?
Starting point is 01:07:19 Uh, yeah. They got some white people up there that they make it ah ha ha ha ha. Hey. That has made me think about this, hey. If you ain't watched that Netflix documentary, The Black Godfather, watch that shit. That shit is amazing, man. I said, I was definitely click that motherfucker. You ain't watched it yet?
Starting point is 01:07:34 Oh my God, dude. How many y'all have watched it? Black Godfather. Hey, it's all good. I was sleeping on it too, but hey, watch the Black Godfather. This nigger is magic. Like, he found, you watched it, Loz. Man, he didn't found so many people.
Starting point is 01:07:50 Don't tell it. I ain't say it. I ain't say it. I will tell it. Go ahead. No. I'm going to tell it. I didn't tell you.
Starting point is 01:07:55 He discovered. This is one of the things he did amongst a whole bunch of other shit. He discovered Bill Withers, nigga. Do y'all know who Bill Withers is? Lean on me. You say what? Oh, she wanted to see that. That was a real shit right now.
Starting point is 01:08:13 Bro, you see how relaxed this show is? We got motherfuckers just yelling out what they watch on Netflix. Oh, fuck that Blue Planet, my nigger. That's the shit to watch. You get you one of the good 4K TVs, niggas just be underwater for two. be underwater for two hours like I fought with the fish you put me on bubble guppes bubble guppes bubble bubble got me bubble bubble bubble bubble got be that's what you be in the career watching money nigger my girl thinks she a goddamn mermaid come
Starting point is 01:08:42 on daddy let's be bubble guppy hey ain't nothing like watching you get into them shows with your kids when you watch them shit because that's the way I thought I was a backyard again for like two years which one of you daddy I'm the new one, baby. Give me a name. Talk your shit. Be the motherfucking puppy in the backyard. Hey, Batyal. You had a real, a real theme song too. Oh, the backyard. Oh, hell yeah. Backyard against turned up. But we had to, see, our cartoons was different as young niggas. Like, we had the cartoons where you really get involved with the cartoons because the song made you be a part of the fucking...
Starting point is 01:09:15 Talk your shit, Carlo. God damn. Yeah, it happened all the time. I know. But, uh... My shit was motherfuck. Remember, Tailsman? That was my shit, man. I don't like the new cartoons. They don't even be in real danger, my nigga. Don't. We used to watch shit like tailspin and duck tails and shit. The motherfucker go to, they go to commercial break.
Starting point is 01:09:41 The nigga tied up with a big-a-lays about to cut them in hand. Go straight toward Nabisco commercial. You're like, hold the fuck up. Wait! Is everybody gonna be safe when this comeback? So, where is launch pad? When you need them. When you need them.
Starting point is 01:09:55 But we know we ain't never really had no black cartoons like like dark winged up was a nigger But oh scooby-do was a black proud family I was too I know I don't I didn't watch the proud But this is what the thing was ice skin came came we found this my bad We didn't give a fuck about what color the cartoons was because we ain't know we was black yet we didn't give a fuck Dare the truth Nick we were watching orange purple motherfuckers blue He didn't give a fuck what color they were. Now you go back and watch the cartoons. Everybody who are color that they're supposed to be, they black.
Starting point is 01:10:32 Yep. Right. Why? Go back. Doug, that nigga best friend was green. That's a nigga! Right. The nigga named Skeeter Valentine. His mom and daddy wasn't never at home,
Starting point is 01:10:42 but he kept a fresh cut, and he had the new shoes on what? That's how he was a nigga. He had the new shoe all the time. Speaking of Doug, what's the bully name off Doug? Roger Clocks. He got this shit cut like Roger Clocks. That's what it is. You got the Roger because he dressed like YG.
Starting point is 01:10:58 He had a little jacket and some dress suit. Yep. And you know black kid, they always made them animals too. Arthur, come on now. You know Arthur was it. Arthur was a nigga. And he ain't Arthur, bro. He daddy and their mom was still to go.
Starting point is 01:11:11 Come on. And his sister, she ain't got no name. They just call her by her initials, D.W. That's a nigger. That's a black girl shit. Ain't never had no name. Her name is actually spelled out D.W. That's her name.
Starting point is 01:11:21 Like D-E-E-A-W, like, duh. What will you? Yeah. That shit you said. With a little accent over to you. With a little apostrophe. Hey! That nigga just crimp walked down the steps.
Starting point is 01:11:32 God damn. You all right, slip? He almost fell, ugly. Hey, Fly, you missed him. That nigga was going down the steps. He was like... What is you going, dude? Woo!
Starting point is 01:11:49 That think it ain't... Hey, man, that's a real black man shit, though. man shit though we're the only race of men that can go down some steps cool than a motherfucker oh white dude can't go down the steps cool nigger all that nigger can come down some stuff you're a little step no hold up no give it to a blows you got to a blow you got to a blow hold up then you got to give the one when you're really cool nigga you got to give the one where you really cool Oh
Starting point is 01:12:21 Look at y'all old niggins still got to use this Let me see it, let me see it, that young night bitch, here I come That young niggins still got knee cartilage and shit He still got knee cartless, he's jumping off shit Fuck you mean, I'm ready to jump out of here Nah Nick, I'm 36, I can jump off that motherfucker, shit
Starting point is 01:12:44 Nick, I'm 36, I can jump off that motherfucking It ain't going to hurt tonight. Next Thursday, big I got a fuck three disc up in my back. I'm calcium deficient. I need an ACL replacement. I got an endgrown toenail. I told her. You hurt your toes?
Starting point is 01:13:03 Yeah, I felt it when I landed. I got an ingrown toenel. I'm like, ah. You want to fuck around and slips. Oh, yeah, that ain't grown toenel to do something to you. Salute all the niggas in here with fucked up feet. Team fucked up feet. Salute to y'all niggas.
Starting point is 01:13:17 Just the niggas you got a shout out to all the niggins who got shot and didn't really go to the hospital You just told you got bullet fragments in his leg. I don't know how our feet got fucked up fellas when did it happen Was it when we was little and we was just a feeling? Listen, I'm gonna keep it 100 my big toe nail look like them wood chips off the playground Nick I'm like oh I don't know how much shit got like dad. I'm like my shit looked like I was a ballerena Nick I'm like nigger what the fuck have to be pointing at his own white No, I keep my goddamn socks on. The white girl trying to snitch on him. His feet are fucked up too, bro.
Starting point is 01:13:51 I admit. Shut up. Love it anyway. Hey, man. Take your socks off. Hit it from the back tonight. Fuck it. And they're gonna tell a hole in the match.
Starting point is 01:14:00 Shout out to all the ladies who like fucked up feet on the nigger. It's three of y'all. If you like fucked up, bitch, some wrong with you bitch. Some women don't like, some women like man and shit. They want your shit to be fucked up.
Starting point is 01:14:13 I like a man. I'm like, damn, never. Okay. But ladies y'all, y'all can't judge us because y'all got motherfucking shit wrong with y'all too. You'd be prided in a motherfucker all day till you fall asleep and start snoring like a grown-ass man. Fellas, don't that make you change your whole perspective about your girl? Oh, I love you so much. I love you too, baby.
Starting point is 01:14:33 She fall asleep. Y'all sitting in there making a TV still on. You ever be trying to sleep, you be doing this shit? Wake our ass up. Then y'all wake up, try to be pretty again. One, what's wrong? Oh, right back in sleep and two singer. Tell that nigger you swallowed to get out your fucking chest.
Starting point is 01:15:00 By one, hit that shit all night. You call about my toenails being brown, bitch. You sound like James Earl Jones. Oh my goodness, shut up, bitch, please. Women be snoring loud, pooting in their sleep. That's when they fart and they sleep. I realize. Pootin like hell.
Starting point is 01:15:20 Can they be trying to hold it in, trying to look cute? Soon they go to sleep. Their booty be like, shit. God damn. For the middle of that, that go, bitch, shit. Look, look at all the world. They got to poop. Hey, Tee, hey, how the ass go with it and fall asleep?
Starting point is 01:15:55 Shit, nigga, shit, bitch. He gonna think this yo cootty, you keep holding this shit in. Oh, oh, man. They'll damn so do that. Can I do, don't it? You can they hold that pudding. You make it ass. You let that shit go down.
Starting point is 01:16:12 You hold that put in. You bend over. You think your cooch, think that really your boot on. You gotta stop. Oh, shit. Oh, my God. They hit the nerves. Yep, there it is.
Starting point is 01:16:23 Oh, man. Man. Stupid, man. That's really, we think we got to get the fuck on. We ain't going no well, man. We're gonna cut these motherfucking lights up. In the fucking mobile, man. Round this shit up.
Starting point is 01:16:37 Cut the music on. Ah! Yeah. Let me see him. First of all, Minnesota, I'm gonna go ahead and keep it 100. I had no idea that it was this much black love in Minnesota. Real for real. This shit beautiful than a motherfucker.
Starting point is 01:16:54 This shit beautiful than a motherfucker. And I'm gonna keep it 100. Ooh, I love my community. I feel proud to be a part of the movement that get to show the world. When this come on YouTube, people gonna see all these beautiful black people in Minnesota. Yes, sir. And we fucking with Minnesota. Minnesota and also in light of us being real niggins salute to the white people
Starting point is 01:17:15 being a part of the show too man y'all came out and fuck with us too all our white fans we appreciate y'all man all the americans all the americans and all the can't and they can't now you got a shout out everybody shout out to everybody who don't know their dad and you could be mixed South Pacific Island Native Americans everybody Asian people who love you all the others that check all them on the shit on the test Salute to the others. Shout out to all the gay people is gay pride money. Do your thing, gay folks.
Starting point is 01:17:44 Do you thing. Do your thing. Cross the street, go ahead. Yeah, yeah. Man, we came to Minnesota. Shout out to all the black people that came out to fuck with us tonight. Look at the people up top. Gotta start leaving before everybody.
Starting point is 01:18:02 The car is so far away. Them all the Uber drivers up there. Oh, yes. Four rounds. Here we go. Thank you. Thank you, Minnesota. Oh, oh.
Starting point is 01:18:11 We fuck with y'all. Thank you, Minnesota. Whoa. We fuck with y'all. Hold on. Thank you, Minnesota. My name is Carlos Miller. Uh-oh.
Starting point is 01:18:20 Thank you, Minnesota. We fuck with y'all. Minnesota. I don't think y'all motherfuckers understand. Y'all was one of the live-est motherfucking show that we don't have. And we want to tell you, motherfuckers, that we love you. I'm D.P. Y'all Fly. I'm Chico Bing.
Starting point is 01:18:38 Co. B. And I'm Carlos Miller. And we all to 85 South Joe. We know y'all Minnesota, man. Thank y'all. Welcome back to another rendition of 85 South Show. They went in Minnesota. This shit been crazy already. Before the show was the show. We got dropped off in St. Cloud and left. I had to scavenge for rags, arguing with white men. I'm ready to go home now.
Starting point is 01:19:37 Oh, man. Really going on. Oh, asked her for them. Oh, that's right there and the racist-haired white folks. He's like, y'all racist. I'm like, I'm going to join. Join Iheart Radio and Sarah Spain
Starting point is 01:19:52 in celebrating the one-year anniversary of Iheart women's sports. With powerful interviews and insider analysis, our shows have connected fans with the heart of women's sports. In just one year, the network has launched 15 shows and built a community united by passion.
Starting point is 01:20:07 Podcasts that amplify the voices of women in sports. Thank you for supporting IHeart women's sports and our founding sponsors, Elf Beauty, Capital One, and Novartis. Just open the free IHeart app and search IHeart Women's Sports to listen now. I knew I wanted to obey and submit, but I didn't fully grasp for the rest of my life what that meant. For My Heart Podcasts in Rococo Punch, this is the Turning, River Road. In the woods of Minnesota, a cult leader married himself,
Starting point is 01:20:37 to 10 girls and force them into a secret life of abuse. But in 2014, the youngest escaped. Listen to the Turning River Road on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday, I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on.
Starting point is 01:21:07 on the people around you. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. This is an IHeart podcast.

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