The 85 South Show with Karlous Miller, DC Young Fly and Chico Bean - Roy wood Jr in the trap! With DC Young Fly, Karlous Miller and Chris Jones!

Episode Date: October 22, 2021

You may know him from Comedy Central's Daily Show with Trevor Noah but Roy Wood Jr is a comedy icon in his own right! Roy Woods breaks down how he came up in the game outta Birmingham Alabama!Plus Karlous Miller and his homie Chris Jones bring the comedy and tell stories of being in a broken down car on the stand-up comedy grind together. DC Young Fly is back in the trap talking bout the first cars he ever bought in the hood and the 90 trips to auto zone lol.This is the coldest podcast!Hit Our Website for more info: https://www.85southshow.com/Get our custom merchandise: https://85apparelco.com/Subscribe To our Channel: bitly.com/85tubeWATCH KARLOUS' MILLER's COMEDY SPECIAL! https://vimeo.com/ondemand/karlousmil...FOLLOW THE CREWKARLOUS MILLER - https://www.facebook.com/karlousm/DCYOUNGFLY - https://www.facebook.com/DcYoungFly1/CHICO BEAN - https://www.facebook.com/OldSchoolFool/Director - JOE T. NEWMAN - www.ayoungplayer.comProducer CHAD OUBRE - https://www.instagram.com/chadoubre/Producer - LANCE CRAYTON - https://www.instagram.com/cat_corleone_/@J.O.N - https://www.denmarktigers.com Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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The Brazilians had the best ass. Why it ain't like an Australian buttliff? Ha ha ha ha ha. Or Alabama, Mississippi but a little. The Dominican is known for having that ass. Listen, I ain't seen all the asses, but I will say that the pictures I've seen from Brazil, they are top three. Real. On the carnivals and stuff like that?

They got some bubble butts down that they say. But I wouldn't, would you want, a fucking Mississippi buttleff or Brazilian butliff? Which one sounds more? I don't know. There's some fat asses in Mississippi. Are there some good surgeons, though? No, there's some, these is just straight cornbread, blackout peas.

When we grew up down the South, we never knew women didn't get surgery because they were all thick, they all had big asses and big titties. I mean, that's still the case with a lot of women now. I don't know why women go get these surgeons, especially if you ain't had no kids. You should just wait on your girls.

on your mama body. That's when the ass and the titty show up after them babies. So are you saying that women don't get ass from doing squats? They get ass from their jeans because their mama had the jeans. No, I'm saying they get ass

after they didn't have two or three babies. Like, God, got another body for most women that's gonna come later on in life. Everybody know that. The finest motherfuckers was skinny as hell 10 years ago. Them the thickest ones.

Can I tell you that little boy? Can I tell you what happened? What? Okay. At home boy. We ain't gonna say that name. Okay. He tried to act like he was a doctor and had professional advice.

He knew how to get chicks thick. First, you get a pregnant. Two months later, Megan had an abortion. He did that three times, six months. Had a dime piece. No kids, no stretch marks. Stallion. I didn't approve of it, but that's why I ain't want to say his name.

That's $900. That's $900. Don't ask me how I know the man. 72,900 ain't that. I've heard that's about $900, which you've just described. For real? I thought it was more than that. That should easily, you know how much cornbread

you could just fucking eat and get the same ass? I think the perception is wrong. Just like y'all said about being tall. I don't think women want tall men. What they want then? I think women want men with big dicks, and it's associated with tall men sometimes. That's what I think.

And I don't think no one got no problem. Who told you that? Women say that, women say they like big dick. You know what I mean? If any women out here like, if a woman don't like, Man with a big dick sheen shit, but a little girl who never faced nor feels. And God put us, that's all. I ain't even got to talk about it.

I'm going to get baptized this Sunday. But I'm just saying, I'm listening to y'all. Do you understand that women have so many dick substitutes that it is? Yes. Yes. Huge big substitutes. Yes, they do. And I'm just saying what I think.

What? What I just said. You all right? They got dick surgery, too. You can exting your dick. What's going on? There's right here, man. There ain't no coming back from that.

They put rods in your shit or something. I don't know how it worked. I didn't click the link. I wasn't neither. I thought that was spam. I thought it was a Facebook spam, man. I ain't know that shit was real. I feel like I'm in the drug.

Just for real. Damn. I just think, I think if you could, like if a girl go, I don't want to fuck with you. I don't like short niggas. And then you decide to drop 72 racks. Pick you up a quick, three, four inches. You should be allowed.

to come right back, no questions asked. That's some, that's some, that's some, that's some bullshit. That's no different than I'm saying plans. Why would you, why would you be hung up on what one bitch like? The same reason other people get, that's the whole point of fucking plastic surgery. I'm not going to fix myself for one bitch when I know it's, it's 10 moded already. But you never done that? You never, you never done something that you don't want to like.

You see me. I ain't say you changed, I'm just saying in general. You have self-esteem. So this thing for you. But I'm saying, like, even if I did spend $72,000 on whatever, I'm not going to go talk to the same motherfucker. I'm going to go try these new motherfuckers out. Why would I spend $72,000 on some new legs

to talk to the same motherfucker who didn't like my old leg? I need to go talk to somebody who ain't never seen me. There's new me. You're lying. You're lying. Short me was fucking with you. Lose, you're a lion. You think so?

It's the same height ain't no different than bread. You was broke, a girl wouldn't fuck with you. Like, remember when you didn't have a car in high school? You think I didn't double back and fuck all them women that I couldn't fuck when I was broke? Somebody did that. Somebody get this man, man. I spent that block.

Oh, you get knocked on. So it's the same shit. And then when they started liking me, I was like, nope. Nope. You're going to get your height, and you're going to hobble the block. No, I'm not. You know, I'm going to get the shit, and I'm 6'3. I don't give a fuck.

about nobody that I've already met. I want to talk to them women who told me they're not interested because they, you know what I'm saying, I'm going over there. I don't know none of them. I don't know their names. I don't know what they're into. I want to hear their stories.

But you're not going, number one, if you add too much height. He ain't never stopped me from having any woman. Not you, but Gary Coleman was out here. You know what I'm saying? He had three wives, Nick. Yeah, he got on with different strokes. Nothing's impossible. I'm just saying.

So you're saying that height surgery is for men who don't believe in their own abilities. Hype surgery is for motherfuckers who like experimental shit. Fine, because they don't know the side effects of that shit. It's too new. Fuck around and get some new legs. Now you can't fly. Every time you get on the fucking plane, it's excruciating pain. But you didn't know that.

You wouldn't know. Exactly. Now your body and your mind hasn't accepted these new legs and you can't even see. and you can't even sit down right to shit. Mm-hmm. And all the way you found out. Yeah, you had to go through a whole physical therapy. Exactly.

And just like you said, fuck around. I was thinking about the surgery. Roy, why are you thinking about the surgery? I'm just saying, you fuck around and get the surgery, just like Roy said. Now your arms ain't even long enough to piss right. You just got to take your whole pants down and just stand up there. Oh, you got to sit out repeat.

You got a hole on or something. You got to put your legs out with your shit. You're just all on the toes. You just all on the toes. It's fucked up. Nah, I don't do that shit. What did you start doing comedy at? Birmingham.

At the start at home? Oh, it was another spot? Well, you know, I split time because I was still at FAMU, so... Man, what made you go to FAMU? So you got to answer all this shit. Because we always show love to the HBCU and, you know, Clayton went to FAMU. Clayton was right behind me, man. You graduated from Alabama in Birmingham High School?

Yeah. Why didn't go to Alabama State, Alabama A&U? Tell you why? Come on with it. So, moms went to A&M. My pops used to be a professor at A&M. He even popes went like the Nobel Peace Prize or something? No, he did a lot of, he was for the people.

Oh, okay. He was definitely, he won a lot of journalism. He's got NADJ lifetime achievement. I say, let me find out you know Reverend Wood, it down and down. Yeah, Abraham Woods, yeah, my pops. Hold on, hold on, the agitator? Yes. Like, get the, dude, my pops rammed out.

My pops was embedded in, you should find me any civil rights picture. My Pops was there. Yeah. My granddad had to know what that was reported. Like, my father, man. I know what your dad, my dad is. He was, he was like, I mean, I'm going all the way back to the 50s. Like, Zimbabwe, Civil War.

Soweto riots in South Africa. My Pops, at the time, he was still in Chicago. When they started fucking over the black soldiers in Vietnam, my Pops volunteered to be embedded with black Vietnam soldiers to report on the racism. Like, basically, wherever there's racism, my daddy was like, I don't see what the fuck. And then he came back to Chicago during the 60s, during the civil rights movement. And then that's when they started W-V-O-N, the Voice of the Negro, which was like basically black Twitter.

It was like black CNN. So any black news, any news that was relevant to black people, they were the ones that reported that shit. He hired Don Cornelius. That's Roy Daddy that hired Don Canilias. You remember when they did American Soul? That dude, that was Roy Daddy who did that. Yeah. Now, my daddy didn't get no money from Soul Train because he didn't think the idea was good.

He was wrong about that. A little lady? He was way wrong about that. My dad's fucking Don Cornelius. Don Cornelius was the stories it was told to me. Don Cornelius was going around Chicago, you know, getting money from folks to shoot the pilot for Soul Train. My daddy gave him a rack. So about a month or two go by.

He can't sell the pilot to Soul Train. And won't nobody fuck with it. My daddy go back to Don Cornelius. He'd go, you know, nigger, where the money is? Don, it's like, rather than me pay you back, let me make you a producer. You could be a part of this shit. My pops told Don't nobody want to watch niggas dance

for an hour. That probably was an exact word. Don't nobody want to watch niggas dance what? Four hour. One hour. But you gotta remember, this is like 68, 69, and you gotta remember my daddy's pedigree. My daddy's pedigree, it's just straight woke shit.

Like, his nigga been shot at, he been beat. Like, the struggle ain't no game. Motherfucker, we out here, these motherfuckers trying to kill us. And you're trying to put niggas and do a spelling bee on a goddamn TV show? Cuss them out, Cust them out. Man, you're going to jail, boy.

You gotta's kidding. That is my money, Don. Yeah. Then he pulled a little pissed out and sat on his left. You got 46 hours. 46 hours. A off number. Two of them already clever me getting out of the cup.

So yeah, I went to FAMU, man. I wanted to get the fuck out of Alabama for a minute, but I wanted to be close while I knew some folks who had my back. Also, at the time, I thought I was going to play baseball. You appreciate this. Pamu's baseball team was trash in the 90s. Okay. So my stupid ass thought I could walk on.

I could walk on. And I thought, and I didn't know this, but at college, everybody's good. Just because we lost don't mean we suck, nigga. I showed up and was cut immediately. Boy, some team gonna pick that up. That's what you said. Just because we lost don't mean we suck.

That is, man. That's like in the NFL and stuff like that, man. Somebody gonna have that tape to the dugout. Don't get that to the Jag. They are. They do something. But yeah, so that's why I ended up, man. So when your dad went to Vietnam, he went there just reporting, though.

My dad, my dad was in Vietnam. They were shooting everybody the same. Yeah, no, no, no. My dad was in Vietnam then. He used to be shell-shocked. Lowe's met him. But my dad used to, when I was like eight years old, man, my dad still suffered from it.

He used to always say how it was over there, you know what I mean? Like, when I was eight years old, I used to, I used to have to sleep with a bulletproof vest on. Stop talking to him, man. Just stop talking. He'll wake up, though. Sometimes they'll wake up like, yeah, dad. Don't shoot with the four, five.

You got to shoot with the nine or something. Like, stop talking. I'm trying to talk about my life up in here. Hey, man, welcome back to the 85, seven. This one right here full of shit. You know, I don't know. He full of shit. I'm the only motherfucker that can tolerate him, man.

The last people that came by the Vietnam on the helicopter. My dad was on the helicopter at the Hilton. At the Hilton. The Illinois Hilton? Man, I'm probably. Not in the Illinois, is the Hilton hotel. It was some Hilton or something.

It was a hotel that went from Vietnam to the Hilton Hotel. I'm talking about him. I'm talking to him. I'm trying to give them, I'm trying to help this man. He's just a guess. Man, look, bro. I'm saying, I'm saying it was a hotel, the famous hotel at the end of Vietnam that they always showed. Ain't no famous hotel in the man.

I'm saying the famous. I'm saying the. What? Is that what the name of it is? Yes, nigg. I said it for a time. What? What?

Lowe's up here trying to act like you was up here talking about the 12 in Atlanta or something like that. You know what I know you were talking about the hill. You see how he tried to act like it with a chain. Like we're talking about the hotel six in Vietnam. Don't talk to this nigga no one. This nigga is crazy. Oh my God.

So I get arrested, I get on probation. I started doing stand up. What happened? Hold up, where the fuck that come from? I'm still in the jeans. Oh, look, last three, before he started talking about the fucking Hilton in Vietnam, we was talking about Famu Baseball.

You asked me, you asked me. And I got cut from Famu Baseball. For stealing jeans? No, nigger. I could not hit the baseball. Oh. Well, wouldn't you start stealing jeez? I had to find a new gift after I learned I couldn't hit a baseball.

So it's like did you spiral into depression and start stealing losing? Who got you into it? You ain't just saying I'm feeling still. Somebody got you in that shit. Yeah, because you, I feel like that's not you. Hold on. So did you get like depressed and just start spiraling? Yeah, because I thought I'm going to put water.

No, no, I'm good. What we're doing? I'm reading this paper. What they're paper saying? November 6th. November 6th. We're going to be in Greensboro, man, at the Greensboro Coliseum Complex. Yes.

In Greensboro, North Carolina. Greenboro, North Carolina. What day? November 6. That's right. Hit the website 85-shopshild.com. Okay. I'm going to start spiraling.

So everything. else going good in baseball. You just can't hit this. No, baseball, baseball trash. Oh. Baseball have him. I go work at Shoney's. What made you sing?

What made you even think he was, what made you do that? The baseball shit. Like, you was good in your area. You saw Michael Jordan down in Birmingham. I was, no. I wasn't good in my area, but I was like, maybe. He was gonna get better here.

If you just keep drives. He's definitely just. Bo Jackson, from Alabama, right? You didn't went down there. He played baseball? Yeah. But you're talking about Hall of Fame level talent. And baseball and football.

I was on the bench. You can't compare me. But you made the team a little bit? Family? Yeah. Oh, no. Oh, no. Like three days of trials.

No, nigga, this is the other thing. Triouts was one day they made cuts every 75 minutes, Nick. I was going by the year 64. Damn. It was like 40 people and it was like, we're going to keep two of y'all by the end of the day. If we do uncut, if we call every 75 minutes, they call the numbers. And if your number was like squid game, your number on the chest and your number get called, you stay.

And so that was it. And so I started working, and then you get tired of being broke. At Showness. Yeah, I'm like, well. Shonis had the dope-ass breakfast buffet. And then I went over to Golden Corral. Okay. And so culinary.

Culinary. Upgrade. You were coming at what you were doing the job. Cook and sweeper what you were doing. No, I was serving, man. How they're getting that tip money. Cracking jokes at the table. That's low-te.

Open mic. Hell, yeah. You figure out which joke work at this table. You do it at every table for the rest of the day. By the end of your shift, you got a five-minute set. So I used to, like, fuck around with that. And then when I saw what it was, when Ricky Smiley popped on Comment View, that was like, oh, that's some shit that I think I could try.

Because that was the first person from the crib. Because, you know, you know, it's Alabama. Don't nobody give you no dreams other than marriage and get you a good job. Yeah. Yeah. About you a Buick? Well, Cutler Supreme. Yeah.

I mean, my daddy was a stank in Lincoln, man. Okay. Y'all grew up with some class then. Yeah, Lincoln. Yeah. Yeah. Real smooth. You could turn that bitch like this.

Great power staring. So I started looking at stand-up comedy. And then at the same time, like, I figured out how we could boost shit from Dilitz. So I was doing that for a minute. We got caught. Okay. Well, yeah, me and some other folks, but I mean, I ain't... You had a blue jeans still in the ring.

Nah, it wasn't just blue jeans. It was... If it was in Dillies, I could figure out way to get it to you. All right, bet. Well, let's just move on. We don't want to dwell on that. You're so successful now. So, you know, that's what happened, man.

I started doing stand-up, and I would take the bus up to Atlanta, get booed uptown. Take the bus back to Tallahassee. What you went uptown down, don't? Marietta or the one of Peace Tree? No, the one on Peace Tree over in Buckhead. Right, but I would give up. This is Sunday night.

This is like 98-99, so this is Nard Holston, earthquake era. Okay. What's some of the wildest shit you've seen up there? Shit, I'll just say me. The night I bombed, and then the waitress still made me buy two drinks. And I told the waitress, I said I was one of the comedians. She said, you wasn't up there funny, baby. Oh, my God.

That wasn't comedy, baby. You got to buy two drinks. You're sitting in my section. Bitch was going to jail. I know she did. So I get booed, wash, rinse repeat. I go down to Macon. But then in the South, what I peep is that

if you're going to work every week, it can't just be black rooms. So that's why I started kind of crossing over a bit. So you go to Biloxi, do the casinos. You go down to Florida, do all the old folks shit. By that point, you get down to Miami, do Marvin Dixon, had to Tuesday. night at that point. White people are confused you

though if you're on the come up. Because white people make you feel like you should have made it already. Dude, you're the fucking best I've ever seen, man. And I go, listen, I go to comedy shows, man. I've seen them all, bro. You fucking got it. Then you walk your ass into Uptown

on a fucking... Man, all nobody know you! I got... Blay shit. The craziest shit I heard the niggins say in the comedy show, he told the nigga on stage bomb. He said,

nigga, kill yourself and I'll pay for the film. I don't know where to fuck. Like, how dark of a person do you have to be to yell out some shit like that as somebody trying to make you laugh? You know what was fair? In hindsight, what was fair about Atlanta, like the Atlanta scene was that.

They hate everybody. They hate everybody. And next week, it's a clean slate. Yeah. Yeah, they'll give you a chance to be good. Yeah, so there was never like no residual old Asterniga from last week. I hate. It's let's see what this week brings. But that's what keep it. That's what keep it constant. And that's fair. Every show is different. You know what I mean? You learn that early. I started out of D.C. I've seen this one comedian who used to be around here bomb about 700 times in a row. He used to bomb about three times a night, but he would go up at every spot.

Same bits? Same bit. When nobody pulled him to the side and go, hey, man. It didn't matter. It was just like you never said that. Everybody tried, but he just, he never gave up. That's that mechanism that they can't get past, though. That's that.

Even when he didn't bomb, he didn't do good. And he just still, and he just eventually gave up. I don't even know if he gave up. I think he's still out there bombing somewhere. Your entire identity. has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro. And these are just a few of the profound and powerful

stories I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets. With over 37 million downloads, We continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you, stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be told. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you remember Vine? It changed the internet forever, and it vanished in its prime.

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Who was one of the first people who put you on the road with him? Like, with a name that was selling tickets and shit? I say the first nigga really put me on was probably Tommy Davidson and D.L. Hughley. Like, that kind of happened in the same way. D.L. probably did me the biggest solid. without even realizing it. When I started in radio, so Ricky Smiley left Birmingham

to go to Dallas to start with, you know, everything he got today. And so I took over for Ricky and the comedy club wouldn't let me host on the weekends because that's, you know, that's the big X or whatever. That's who they should have had, the radio nigga, that's stupid. But that's no way is the thing, so that's what happened.

So this is how I got on the radio in Birmingham. I go to the radio DJ, shout out to the, you know, my man Buck Wild, and Buck, he goes, well, we're not having any more comedians. Ricky left, and no one can be as funny as Ricky. That sounds like a white man. Well, white, he's mixed. It's solid, it's solid, motherfucker.

That's the white man in them saying that, though. Okay, so then I know that the radio station hosts a black night. So I go to the comedy club, and I go, hey, I just got hired at the radio station. So let me host Fadio Hugley. The club go cool. I go back to the radio station. Hey, comedy club just booked me for D.L. Hughley. If I rip, you let me come back an intern.

And they go cool. So then Friday night come. All I got to do is keep radio man away from the comedy club, man. I go up and do three minutes. You know, you just had a one set that you needed that fucking night. Yeah. Kill shit, fucking magic, dog. I walk off stage, radio niggis standing right there.

He says, see you Monday morning, bring Chick-fil-A. And then I go in the green room, and D.L. Hugley is there, and you go, you did a good job. Tell you what, open for me the whole weekend. D.L. ain't had to do that. And you know I like the O.Gs travel. They already got a set. The show is set. They got their open.

Right. And they definitely ain't letting nobody else on the show. I don't know what it was, man. But, like, that vouch gave me the tape to get booked everywhere else in the South. Yeah. Nashville, Chattanooga. Real major. Set it all.

Now see, it's a lot of motherfuckers out there hating this shit. They hate that. They bitch had. It don't cost you nothing to let a nigga do what a nigga was going to do. That's all it is. I ain't never. Like, that was probably one of the most solid fucking vouchers. Man, and look what you did with it.

You got it fucking, you got to deliver, though. That's the thing. You don't be fucking ready. Like, that's the part of it that I always appreciate it. But that's why, like, even now, man, I try to, like, I try to connect with younger comics, man, because they're the ones that's got all the sauce. They know what the fuck is going on

because they're into the street. I'm too busy writing, editing, being a daddy. Young niggas, when they broke and they hustling, they know every which way, which angle. They know which app. Put them on, put them on the show with you. Because now I can put money in your pocket and I get to sit and talk with you for 20, 30 minutes

between the show and figure out what the fuck is going on. out there. Yeah, yeah. It's like you paying, like low-key, I'm not even having an opener, I don't care about your jokes, I'm paying for you to give me the game. And that's worth paying a little extra for. So, you know, that's what I try to do now, because, you know, like, what is Seelot said,

everybody is somebody because of somebody else. That's real. That's real right now. So, you know, that just never left me, man. Hell yeah. I feel like as entertainers, man, sometimes it's like, we kind of owe that to the entertainment game. Because like you said, who's to say that it might,

it might be this dude's night to change his life, to hit him with that five minutes set because somebody watching, somebody might see him. You know what I'm saying? He might just be, he might just be do for some good luck, man. It didn't work this shit out. But then be the same cast that's gonna help. This is the other thing I learned, dog.

That's the one upside, though, to work in the road. Like, instead of being in L.A. or New York, and it's probably the same, it's for sure the same shit in the A. When you work the South and the Midwest, starting out, you see, every week you see all the different ways your career could go. You open for every type of comedian. You open for alcoholics. You open for the ones that's hustling.

The ones that's on drugs. The ones that be disappearing, the weird ones. The ones who ain't ever wrote a new joke in five, six years. years and they slowly starting to fall off the ones who don't do nothing but chase fucking women the whole fucking night yeah like and you start seeing oh well if I make that choice that's gonna happen I make this choice it's like you get you get a you get a preview into all of the different fucking buckets your career could go into you can see the younger comedians come in and how they come in and do that too you know yeah the cycle yeah so you know that's that's that's my shit man is I sit on Instagram and watch everybody. Any stand-up joke, anything, I want to see what the fuck everybody's doing. I don't want to see nothing.

I'd be trying to unplug. I don't even want to know what they're talking about. I love it. I love it. Because I'm still a fan of the craft. I'm not saying y'all and, you know, doing what y'all do. But I just like watching what other folks are doing, man,

because I still sometimes just enjoy seeing different perspectives and shit. Oh, you mean like the whole internet craze? Like videos and everything? I'm just sketch this, but I'm talking stand-up, too. Like, I know a lot of comedians don't watch other comedians. Yeah, I don't be watching a lot of comedies. Right, not that I'm like, because I don't, because I hate them or something, I'm just. It's a create, you want to make sure that your career process is pure.

Exactly. Correct. So I'm like, well, let me see what they're doing. Because that, that started, because I didn't book Comic View, so I got mad. You never did it? No, I did it, but like, I got turned down the first two years. I never did. You know it's fucked up about Comic View?

A lot of shit was fucked up about. They looked at everybody. What was really fucked up about Common View is that they would send you a letter to let you know you weren't selected. You could just tell me. Just don't call me, and I will assume that I get, but they would send you a letter.

With a letter heads. He's in VHSA tape. Newop Inc. Newop Inc. Shout out to Steve Harvey's old company. And with Sean McDonald. They used the word for him. Yeah, so they know.

It was a blue logo with a little thin end and the, yeah. The loop and the overlap the end. I fucking remember that rejection letter. You were not selected this year for the comic views. Keep trying. It's like an uplifting paragraph at the bottom.

And then you watched it and he was like, man, fuck this shit. Yeah. I used to show up down to two of the comic views, man. You know about that shit? Showing up to the... Being an alternate? Being out.

That was... Come on, man. But you'd be the alternate boy. I mean, you're just going down. Just waiting on something to happen. No, no, no, because you show up and you get to see all the comedians who ain't never put you over shit.

You know what I'm saying? Like, everybody knew about it except you. You were just in the club with everybody there. It's the equivalent of flying standby on a flight. Yes. But trying to get on TV. Yeah. So you show up to the venue

and hope someone else that's book does not show. Right. You hope he dies in a car crash. Yeah. Nobody had no cell phones like that. And then the producer would just come out. Yeah, we don't see Zoo Man. Ah!

It literally boiled down to who you knew. And so, like, I went to Comic View Party garage year. The New Orleans. The New Orleans, where Bruce Bush was talking about me. Correct. That's when they stopped me. So, I was in the lobby, and the only nigga that I knew was Akitouin'ay and Spanky Brown. Spanky Brown.

Spanky Brown. All right, Peter Spank. And so those were my two dudes, but they were barely in themselves. And I peeped game, and I see Spanky trying to. like get the producer's attention. You're like, hey, get it. I'm like, oh, no, I didn't drove all the way down there for nothing. You know who played that shit right, though?

Who? It was fucking shoddy, shoddy. Shardy came down there, and this nigger went out in the audience line and just started roasting niggas in line. Yeah. Just, like, you just hear as a fucking alternate, so fuck it. I'm a roasting. Got on.

Killed you. Murdered. And I'm just like, That ain't in me. That ain't what I do. So I just couldn't fucking do comedy that year. So I got pissed about it. So I went in that whole season.

Let me see who was. I came down with Tony Woods, but go ahead. I remember the last one, though. So I sit down and I just, I watched Comic View for a whole year, and I made a list of every topic that every nigga discussed. Straight spreadsheet, handwritten. Every night I check sex, ugly people, cripples, baby mamas, poverty joke. poverty joke

sex women need to suck dick made a list of everything that every nigga every subject that was broken on the show that year and the next year I just

I'll talk about anything but that stuff y'all gonna fuck with me if nothing else because I'm different so that just forced my writing into a place where even if I ain't the funniest

let me at least start in a place that nobody else is cooking and then if I can make it funny now I'm funny in original. Yeah, man, because white comedians can say any fucking thing, and that shit just worked. Oh, McDonald had a farm. So I'm at a farm, right? The white people go crazy. Dude, you hear the farm joke? So, uh, fucking rocks. Oh, McDonald.

By the fucking farm. Can you believe this shit? You know, you know who's underrated to me and that shit where they can just take a sentence and work that shit over and over again as fucking J.B. Smooth. Jay B. Smooth can go on stage. You could give him three sentences and he will do a 10 minute joke of three, just callbacks and you ever just seen an orange in the store?

Just an orange, just a motherfucking orange. It's a little green. I don't trust that little green part of the orange. Why is that shit green? Why don't you pick that orange if it wasn't completely orange, the other fuck is green? And he will just milk and milk and milk. He has jokes that are just,

Like you said, it was just saying this. It's like, he didn't do with the shit, he's like, ain't nothing in the world faster than pune. Pume is the fastest shit in the world. Nothing faster than pume. This nigga had this joke about this fucking, the 50 cent song, that song with Tony Yeo. Okay.

What is that shit? So seductive. But he was acting like, oh, that's the best song of a fucking man. Niggas can drive a stage coach to that mother And he would fucking stagecoach. And he would act like he'd drive the stagecoach of this shit. But he's like, he had these big ass boots, man.

This shit was, it's one of the funniest fucking opening jokes I have ever seen a comedian dude. Because he was doing this shit for like 10 minutes. Man, I'm reading this paper, DC. What is he you feel? It says November the 5th we're supposed to be in like. Little Johnson. Yeah, at the North.

That's him. Yeah, exactly. And that's in South Carolina. Carolina. You gotta say that. So it's like, What hell is you talking about? That's great. And I'm trying to brass to do it. Okay, man.

So that's the type of shit that's going to be happening in November 5th when we get to Charleston, man. So make sure you get those tickets. It's the website 85 Southwit. What's the date? Return to the ghetto letters, man. Get you some tickets. Why are you playing with yourself? No trust me. Shout man.

I wish I could remember the joke he had about getting pulled over, like a dude behind him, like a police or something like that. You know what I'm saying? He was saying the dude was acting like a police behind him. You know what I mean? Yeah, making the sound and stuff like that that somebody was throwing rocks at them. Whatever it was at a club like in New York, man.

You know what I mean? Like one of the spots. I came up in the New York bracket. When we did last comic standing watching this nigga try to read them goddamn cue cards. Y'all did Last Comic Stand it together? Yeah.

No, he was one of the hosts. I did 2010. The one thing Last Comic Standing did for me it makes you complete. It was 2010. This was the first year when the first year. It was like the early days of live tweeting.

Give me some pimping on this one, man, because here it go. This is a little pimp shit. If you on the show, your job is to interact with the social media and all of that shit. And every night, every Monday night, you had to get online and interact with all the people who's watching last comic standing. And just in the hashtag, you just see people saying the most terrible shit about you. Oh, yeah. It was for the YouTube. Not for the most part.

I mean, YouTube was around, but just in terms of just. seeing people go, Nick ain't funny, nigga, fuck Martin Luther King, hit-ass, nigga. And just every fucking Monday for two months, I had to read all this terrible shit.

And on the other side of it, I was like, oh, this shit I'm bothering them. It was like, for like a week or two that shit'll fuck with you. And then after that, you're like, oh man, y'all niggas just bored and just need something to hate the internet.

Oh, you ought to read some of the comments that be on this show. Oh, I'm sure, it's YouTube. YouTube go hard. Yeah, some motherfuckers wait till 58 minutes in. Do they ever tell you the truth? Do YouTube ever tell the truth to or not? No.

They don't, I think they're, like, I wonder about the shit that we don't get to see. How did that shit even get through the filter? You know, they don't show you all that shit. Oh, yeah, they still. Because they don't want you to really know how good your shit really is. You imagine you click on one of these fucking episodes.

This bitch got 85,000 comments. It's 2 million followers. You mean to tell me we won't give 300 comments or show? Man, kiss my dick. Somebody lying, man. It's two men. Bro, we got shows that have

fucking 20 million views. A hundred and 19 comments. When they see me, you're going to get about 50 million shit. You know, I'm the goddamn shit out here and shit. This is weird. And the niggins just talked on my life. You see what I'm in?

I hate you. I don't tell him your name again. I don't know why that man hate on me like that. Bro, we're gonna put your name in the title and they still be like, who would do? Man, oh my God, help us. Did you let my grandpa and baby shower. You go act like that.

Hey, man, welcome back to their fast self-show. Man, gotta ask you about some of my favorite shit, man. You know, you've put in a lot of great work, man. You got a lot of great stand-up material out there. Are you in the rotation with... You've been in the rotation since the premium blend. Yeah. Oh, four.

Yeah. The one of my favorite shit is I consider it a classic in my list of comedy classic. Slap you to sleep, man. Oh, the prank call out. Man. I asked one I did. Yeah. That was 07.

Man, tell me about it. How you put that together, like, what was... Put it a year on it. It's timeless. It's timeless comedy. Yeah. So I was doing the prank calls, and Ricky left. Ricky had left

Birmingham so Ricky was known for pranks so when I got hired at 957 they was like well you gotta do pranks you can do whatever fuck else you want but you're gonna do pranks right so then what I peep I peep game that

we was doing pranks this is like 0203 this is pre-U2 right and I'm taking these pranks we airing them one time and we ain't doing shit else with them no more

So I go to my boss I'm like I put these online on the website that's when I set up my webpage set the web page put the prank calls on there this one going

this is when you went viral over email yeah there was a time young people tell them a stranger would send you a fucking file and you would

download that bitch like that was hey trust me this file You didn't call the nigger and go, niggas, you hacked. You just trusted it. How long did it take the download?

About 40 minutes. Three-minute prank call or some shit. So I started putting the CDs together, and they started running me in consignment in the black-owned shops around town. And then a couple of DJs started getting a hole of my shit. So my shit started getting put on a chameleon air, put my shit on a bunch of his mixtapes.

And so the prank started traveling around, to other radio stations, and that's how I started getting booked in other comedy clubs and other markets. It's because I would just send them pranks. I would send them just a whole ass fucking floppy disk. This is before USB stick-dress. With the metal slide, that joint,

I would mail that bitch to a radio station go, my nigga play this shit for me. All you gotta do is say my name. I don't want no bread. I bet you got a cell phone with a little rotary dial on that motherfucker, we go ahead. And then I'd like to say a little,

And then I let that shit marinate on the radio station in that market for like two months. And I'd turn around and call the comedy club and go, you got to fuck with me. I'm on the radio. Yep. And that's how I would get booked. And so I do a CD. And so that was this lady. So Hurricane Katrina happens.

And after the comic view. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the Cheryl Underwood year. I remember they stopped the film and I was done. They kicked me out of that motherfucker. So you should have been leaving the city. A fucking hurricane was coming. Man, I know, we didn't know,

but we didn't know if it was gonna be that bad. None of us knew it gonna be that bad. No, but they, it wasn't the hurry. They were like, nigga, we're not making no more TV. Everyone leave town. Yeah. And your ass was still waiting. I don't know me, man.

Right, right, right. Don't leave my hang on. Too many people looking, don't you know. They're gonna shut the motherfucker down because I'm supposed to be on it. I'm an alternate. Third alternate. No, they stopped about four shows

or five shows. It was like 15 comedians, man. But I had already got stopped from the first comic view. I said, God. Damn. So, you remember Katrina hit, and people got relocated all over the south. Yeah.

So at the time, that shit was some tense shit, because there was a lot of cats that were coming from New Orleans in certain parts. I know what was happening in Houston. It was for sure happening in Birmingham. I just speak on Birmingham. Where cats was coming, and it was starting to be, like, starting to be tents between folks. You know, a little bit of turf wall, a little bit of just. Why these folks come in and taking out of violence is fuck in Atlanta. I ain't, I'm trying to be nice about it.

Man. Yeah. It was tense because you had a lot of different sets mixing that normally don't have to mix. Yeah, man. When that shit happened, all the violence everywhere went up. Now, the violence went up, but I remember, but I remember still that everybody was coming together. I know the black folks definitely, you know what I'm saying? That's why I was violent.

When you put black people together, there's going to be some violence. Now, I'm talking like before, when we saw everybody down there like that, you know what I'm saying? We saw that it was the black people that was- Well, but we're talking about when they left, and they was violent. I'm not saying it wasn't love. There was definitely love in the mix of all of that, in blankets and toys and shelter and all that shit. But it was also niggas that was like,

yo, I'm here to get money. And the locals was like, no, you are not. They was like, by any fucking means. And that shit was, it was, so it was tense. So I called a lady told her we was going to cut her Social Security check to give money to Hurricane Katrina victims. She went to fuck off. She went to fuck off.

Barber. Barber's check. It's the name of the call. And so I put that online, just random day, put it on my website. Two hours later, my website crashed. Webmaster called me. Hey man, we got to add some bandwidth to website this shit going up. I go, okay.

Add a couple more gigabyte, chila jillibite, whatever the fuck it is. Crash again. My website crashed like three days in a row. We just keep up in the server space and all of that shit. And so that was the call. Or this the number. No, folks was flooding my website to download the call. And at this point, YouTube, I put it on YouTube,

but on YouTube, you just listen to shit. Right. YouTube wasn't even a visual website yet. So I took that call and started doing more and more and putting it with other calls and then put that album together. And that was the one that did, like, the best for me to this day. Mm-hmm. You know, with the pranks, you know, that was an error, man.

What I figured out, though, is I got older, But once I got into my 30s, I couldn't keep doing them because, you know, prank calls, that's a young man's game. To me, at least. Technology changed. You can't even fucking do it no more. It's too hard. Right.

Nobody, like, you prank calls somebody in 03. The way I used to block my numbers with an AT&T calling card. Come up and say AT&T on their phone line. Yeah, it'd be a 7-20 Denver number. Oh, yeah, they're going after that. Yeah, curiosity. Yep. Who called me from doing it?

Prank calls used to be rooted in the curiosity of, the unknown. Now you don't even want to fucking know who calling you. Right. Even in visual family, you send them to voicemail. So you can't even really do that shit no more. Also, as the pranks grew, I had to start prank calling people out of town. And the thing with Birmingham, and this is what Ricky set up, Ricky Smiley set up an atmosphere where if I prank call you is love. And you know me, you know the station. I'm in the community. You know I don't mean you no harm. Yeah. When the pranks grew,

two many niggas in Birmingham knew my voice, so we started calling out-of-towners. Out-of-towner don't know me. You don't give a fuck about me. Right. You don't give a fuck if it's love. And the motherfucker ran up on me in Cleveland at a show.

And that's what I was like, all right, this ain't. Oh, personally, he came up to me, like they do all that point-call shit, like, hey, motherfucker, let me tell you. Yeah. I ain't, I'm not going to fight you, sir. I'm not over a prank from three months ago

I'm saying my hood don't we I called him from Birmingham he was in Cleveland we did the prank ha ha ha and hang up three months later I met the Cleveland Improv down in the flats and that motherfucker waited patiently for me patiently at the merch table just and you know how you figure just need to say some

like normally when a black man standing like this beside the table, at the end of you do all your meet and greet, he went to come up, I just want to tell you, it's some positive grip for you in and shit. Yeah, he's there. What he's that? One of them, he broke, with these things. I'm here, nigger, what is he said?

He pulled me in and he goes. Ah! I just want you to know if I wanted to touch you. I can't. I could touch you. Push me off like that. Boy, ah, the point you got to say, he got to say, he's going to say that.

He's going to say that. But at that point, I was like, all right, man. All right, yeah. I don't know. Like, Eddie. I feel you, I don't, I mean,

and that's wild for me because, you know, for the most part, black folks fuck with me. Yeah. I ain't never wanted to fucking be when people. Yeah.

Black people might want to, like, I think, I think it's a 97% rule with black people. Like, that's the most you can get. You ain't gonna never get us all,

you mean? You never be 100. Oh, of course not. No. 97 is the most. And that's like a circle. But I'm saying, even if you didn't think

I was funny, you wouldn't want to fight me. Right. So I, I ain't ever seen nobody want to just fucking beat my ass. Like, you might be disappointed. He probably wanted to do some bad to you in first did he saw the show when he was like, man,

I was gonna kill your head. You just fucking with you. Sometimes the niggas just be upset and you just look like the shit they upset about it. But some cats, but you can't play with people like that. You never know what somebody going through too. I said, nephew Tommy, I'd say him, I was just, we came back from doing the show.

We were somewhere doing the show and he had, did a prank call or something. like that and it was just talking about a dude getting a kidney or something like that, you know what I mean? And he's like, well, you got your kidney, but I want to get your gallbladder, you know what I'm saying? Let me get the gallbladder to get your kidney, but the man got real for real and I'm listening to it. And I know the difference, we both

know the difference between comedy, you know what I'm saying? So I was like, God damn, this shit can't get real, so. Yeah, Tommy is cold-blooded with that shit and also it's a muscle. You don't keep working that shit. It's really, it's improv. Right. It's fucking improv. You can only script the first 30 seconds of the call.

Like that was like the time When Jay Prince You know the Jay Prince story Uh-uh The Jay Prince story So I prank called Jay Prince Lord Man, man, what the

Take me off this show What that fuck going down here, man Shout out to Jay Prince He came to the chat Shout out of Jerry! Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold up You know it Hold on

No, it's just, I'm still alive Man, this is what had a happy name I'm still in the world Okay You ain't gonna fuck with Jake, go ahead. So when Some chameleonair pranks jumped off. There was a record label in Houston.

And they called me up and they go, we hear your stuff all over the city and we want to do a prank call, a celebrity prank call album where we print called celebrities. I'm like, all right, that's a bit. And so I fly to Houston and they got the list set up of the celebrities.

And it's all Texas-based people. Like, it's like Vince Young, it's fucking Scarface, J. Prince. Like, it's like just random folks, all from Texas. And they go, who you want to call first? I say, let's call J. Because that's going to be the hardest prank. So we may as well do that one off the rip. Oh, real.

Because the thing about it is that when you're doing a prank phone call, you can't, like, you'll lose, like, your energy. You know what I'm saying? So you've got to, like, the one that's going to be the most, mentally challenging. Because Jay Prince is a hard motherfucker to prank. Because when you think about a prank, if you're just talking just joke structure, right?

Right. It's something silly to get you mad or I make an impossible request. Jay Prince is fucking low-key, even-kill-ass nigga. So I can't just call him and go, motherfucker, I'm going to fight you. Like, that ain't enough.

You got to strike people on the things that they hold dear and that are important to them. If I'm gonna make you upset, that's why you guys fight over your mama jokes. Right. Because that's something important to you. If a nigga talk about your outfit,

if you talk about your girl, if you talk about your children, there is a set list, especially with black folks. Yes. But nigga, we have to fight right now. Right. I'm gonna see your, or I'm gonna see your ass or I'll see your ass a cleave.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm coming clean. With you know. So when you think about Jay Prince, Jay Prince runs a record label. Yes. What does the CEO of a record label hold near and dear? His artists. Those are his children.

So I call Jay Prince. I called Jay Prince, and I told him... So hold up. Before you even say that, at no point you didn't think none of this was a bad idea. Yeah, okay, backstory. And this is my fault for trust in white people. What the fuck? What the fuck on with you?

Why would you do some shit like that? I told you, man. Take me off. Why would you do some shit like that? Because they ran the fucking record label. But I understand. He went the record label. He goes, hey man, we're gonna...

You want a prank called Jay Prince? We know him. And I go, are you sure this is all right? Oh, yeah. Jay's a good friend. So I go fuck it. Rack it up. Again.

Big, big, win big. Nick, don't stare at me like that. This is a fucking prank on CD. Are you right? Do you want to fucking go platinum or not, niggins? Do you want the fucking platinum chain? Shit! So you gotta call somebody that like...

Let me see, look. So you gonna do this regardless. You gotta go platinum, I got it. I got it. I've signed it. It's a fucking contract. I've signed the fucking contract. So it's a fucking, I got a record deal.

So I got a fucking, the motherfucking say call Jay Prince. Fuck it, let's call Jay Prince. Come on. I'm so scared of this story, but go here, Roy. So I call Jay. and I say, hey, man, I run a record label. I mean, I run a record store in town and none of these rap-a-lot artists are selling.

They're terrible. Oh, my God. I ain't sold a single Rapalot record in two years. Come to my record store and pick up all this garbage-ass music that you didn't drop off. Jay Prince don't say a word. You know, a prank, you know, you waiting on the back and forth. You know, you waiting on the back and forth.

He don't give me nothing. Jay Prince go, Where are you at? I go, what? Where are you at? This Jay Prince. Oh, my, man, motherfucker. Come on, just, come on.

Now you're getting buck now. I'm getting buck with him. Because I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to loud talk them. Right. At that point, I have no, again, the 30 seconds is up. Now we're improv land. So now I'm just loud talking them. You need to explain yourself.

Explain to me why you charge me all this money, but there's all this. Where you at? That's all he kept saying. Slowly. Engineers started panicking in the room with me. So that's when I knew some shit was wrong. Because they didn't anticipate Jay acting like that.

Another dude that was there, another dude from the record label, he come in the studio with me. in the studio with me. Hey, Jay, uh, we were just playing around. It's us at the label. Where the L, LBD music and uh, uh, just, I'm sorry, Jay. And then Jay Priscoe, yeah, he's stable, he's going to sit down. Okay. You over there LBD music. I know exactly where you at. Ooh! Hey man, turn the car around and then he hung up the phone. And so everybody in the studio shaking. I'll turn back to the same white dude. You're live, right? No, no, we're just in the studio. We're just recording the prank album. It's just a

studio session. Okay. I turn back to why do I go, am I safe? No. You in the same? You in the same city? Yeah, yeah, you know, yeah, we figure, he's a friend. We'll call him again. Call him back, he don't answer. Call him back, he don't answer. And so then I got in the fucking car. It's back in the day you had to call a taxi. I called a taxi and waited patiently for a fucking Houston yellow cab to come pick me up and I went back to the airport. From the studio. I was in Houston a total of four hours. I landed, prank called J. Prince, went back to the airport. So fast forward. These white people had to pay you for this shit. So, fast forward, like 10, 15 years later,

when Jay was on his book tour, he did Sway in the morning, and he asked Sway, he asked him about the story. He said, did this dude prank you? And was you really headed over there to the studio? And Jay just smiled and he just said, I was just gonna go over there and laugh with him. Jay, we said, be so sad. It's shit like that.

like I got to quit doing prank calls. I mean, you did pick. Yeah, it was great. We laugh about it now. But at the time, I made the right call. You did? And fucking leaving the city. Oh, you left the whole.

I left, nigga, I left the city. It's fucking Jay Prince, and he said he coming over to where you at. No, bitch, I'm gone. I bought the same day ticket, nigga, at the counter. Do you know how much that costs? Not online, at the counter. I walked into the counter. Damn.

One ticket to Birmingham, please. Some shit you don't fucking play with. You should have known that that was a bad idea. He said, I knew exactly where you were. That's a bit big, win-big proposition. See, that's why I can't. If that prank joke goes off, then I'm going to do that prank call J. Press.

It went wrong. Shit. Stop talking about it because he might still be mad. I'm not. I'm just saying that, I ain't had nothing to do with it. I ain't telling him to tell him to tell that story. Nah, I mean, we're good. Now, I met him, man.

We laughed at him, man. We laughed at him, we laughed with the Cleveland and the motherfucker got down with the seven shit. Bro, you mean you take a shit too far, man. You take a shit too far? Why not push the envelope, man? Push that motherfucker. Yeah, so that was it, man.

What was the TBS show? Oh, that was Sullivan and his son. Yeah, the bar show. We ran that for three years. Shout out to the homie Steve Byrne, man. Steve Byrne, he really understated in terms of just what he does for other comedians. Because he put, at the time, we was a sitcom with like five or six stand-up comedians on the show, like in real time. Yeah, I got to get me some cool-ass white comedian friends who make movies and shit.

That's the ticket. Yeah. I got to get me some. I'm trying, man. I'm trying. I got this joint for Fox. If that bitch go. Man, pitch some shows why you're on here, bro.

I'm not gonna pitch this shit to these niggins. Not to these niggins, but pitch some other shit to these niggins, man. No, act like you ain't got shit for the streets too. You gotta pitch to the streets too, Roy. Show that probably won't come out. Oh, you know what I am gonna do? You know what I am gonna come back and do?

And I'm gonna do it with y'all because it'll be done right. That's real. I wanna do, not want, I'm going to. Let's do it. Come on, man. Come on, man. We came through with the job.

Everybody gets your shit. Back, come in here. Listen to what we're about to do with us. Roy, am I in? Alright, we'll write you in. We'll write you in. We'll write you in. You can be an alternate.

You gotta come and see you in a lot. Yeah, you're a mess, buddy. Nah, I wanna do, I wanna do a parody. I'm gonna do a parody of Vlad TV. Oh, good. Do a parody. Ooh, we're interviewing people from the 60s. He gonna fuck around and hear you saying that

and really have some people on that. Welcome back, Brad TV. Miss Vera Wright, she is 89 years old. That would be dope, man. Because I had said on him one time, I wonder who did the afterparties for like the civil rights and shit. Because you know somebody had a little fish spot.

I had a good question about civil rights. If you was a civil rights groupie, When did you spit game? It's like Dr. King had, you know, what he had, right? And that's what everybody's say. Right. When do you pull your chicks before or after the march? You really kind of do it like, you meet them at the church,

and you let them know that you're going to be at the march. You know how they used to like, kind of like barnstorm and hit all the churches, be like, all right now, Saturday morning, we're going to be ready. So they would go, like, all the choir practices. on a plate, come on over for a plate, Mr. Abernethy. Yeah. So you kind of had to work the church circuit first.

I think it was after the march. I think it was after the march. You gotta get everyone their good and tired. Oh shit, hold up. We got gang balance in this motherfucker. My mom, right, man. My wife, man. My wife, what's up?

My wife, man. Hey, right. My wife, what's up, nigger? Man. You're going on. She ain't coming to here with the usual. Respect to you, man. Respect to you.

the type of shit we're on, man. Look, man, I love it, man. I told you we had to get you in the trap, man. I wanna ask you about some of the Comedy Central shit too, man, and how did you land over there and you've been keeping that relationship open and strong for a little man? That was, I gotta give it up to two folks,

Trevor Noah and Neil Brennan. Trevor Noah and Neil Brennan. Shout out to both of them, man. Shout out to Trevor, man. Shout out to Trevor. More clap. Give him some clap, man. Give him some clap.

Let's go. What's dope about Trevor, man, is that when I started at The Daily Show, he told me off the rip. He said, I don't want you to stop none of that political shit, none of that opinionated race shit that you do. First story I did, we did a ride along with a police department in Wisconsin. Second story, this is why I knew it was going to be a good run. Because he let me talk about black shit, but approach it from my own take. And there ain't nobody else influencing what we pitch, right? Right.

20th anniversary of the Million Man March, I go to Trevor, and I go, Let me go down there All right, cool And that's a spot where you wouldn't figure There's some jokes Or you figure it ain't no commentary On what's going on But what it was at the time

So Million Man March 20th anniversary The motto was justice or else So they kept saying justice or else So we just went to D.C. I asked white folks What you think or else mean? You already know what they said and then you go to black folks will go, what does or else mean?

And it's all the positive, empowering, we're going to keep fighting, whatever. But everybody on the white side thought that or else meant riot, kill, murder, burn this bitch down. So we was just trying to show how folks don't even know what type of shit black people are. Trevor, let me just straight take cameras down there

to show that, and we cracked a couple jokes. But at the end of the day, we was trying to show something that was fucking real. And he let me do that shit. And, like, he's been letting me. We do that shit since 2016, man. Now we know white, but trouble always I'm letting white people know they don't want to see or else.

No, they don't want to real or else. They don't want the or else. Because what if we just say, you know what, fuck it, they're right, and we just took over all their shit. You're talking about our shit? They shit. Oh, I was saying, if we just say, you know what? You know they shit and I was shit.

Oh, yeah. The shit that they like, we're gonna like that shit way more than they ever liked it. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so... Except for Elvis, because Elvis was James Brown. I'm saying. Yeah.

The shit that they love the most. Pull the video up now. Pull the video with Jane Brown doing this shit and Elvis came out and did the same. No, what are the Beatles? Chuck Barry. Chuck Barry did that shit. Yeah. Stole.

Amen. So I started doing daily show. At the same time, man, I've been able to just be blessed and get a couple sitcoms sold. sold. You're out of your business. You know. Right. They cashed that one.

Now Steve Daschen. But that's what that Steve Byrne and that Sullivan and son's shit came through, because I had a, um, I had a sitcom. It didn't go. But I had a sitcom we shot over in Birmingham where I played a probation officer. And the first thing I tried to do in that bitch was put other comedians in that shit. Man, let's do that shit. No, let's do it.

We can do that shit. We can do that shit. I'm with it. Y'all heard it. Y'all heard it. Y'all heard that shit now. Roy, what are we doing, Roy? We're gonna write him in, we're gonna write him in.

Hey, hey, you know what I'm like, you know, I'm gonna let him boy Crick do it thing. Man, we're gonna write him in it. You in it. You in it. You in it. You're in it. Just like you right here, you are in it.

You know my grandma pregnant again. You already hit it, man. You know you can pull up on the same wheel and put you in there now, man. Like, I don't get in that Chris. Hey, he's gonna come with the jazz suit on. I'm ready. Telefly. Yeah, it's just you start realizing, oh shit, you get these, you get these, you

get these opportunities, man. You got to throw a oop to other folks. Get other folks in the game. So that's what I'm trying to do, two-fold. It's been a blessing, man. Man, you've been killing this shit, man. Everybody's somebody because of somebody else. Hey, man, you'd be saying some real shit.

Like, your jokes, they really stick around. Like, somebody got to cook these chicken nuggets, man. Man, let me ask you all a question. I got a cousin that's a state trooper in Mississippi. Damn. Damn. It's okay. In the blue and orange coffee?

No, he's the old school to do the brown. Oh, he ain't got shit. That's all, so that's about to say. He run errands in the police car and his regular clothes. Is that good for the community or bad for the community? That's good for the community. Because he need to be, they need to be familiar with him. Right.

Even outside he came. Right, so when he pulled somebody over, he was like, man, I just saw you at Kroger. It's a small town? Yeah, it's Mississippi, for instance. He's one of them cities where you can park the police car in the front yard and don't nobody. You know the police. I got one.

I got a cut. He's an undercover police officer. Everybody knows who he'll still come out and try to get their arrest motherfuckers. They ain't scared. Hey, that's crazy. They could chill out, goddamn. Don't bloke my cover. Like, bitch, we're at the family of union.

If you don't get that goddamn potato salad out of the squad car. Ain't it weird when people reveal to you that they're a police officer? It seemed like they wait until they've seen you do all the shit that you would have been arrested for, before they'd be like, you know, I'm a cop. God to bless that peanut butter. You ever meet some after the shows or whatever? Yeah, you can always tell who they are. See, y'all, I can tell that y'all get like,

I imagine the cops that fuck with 85 South as like Task Force niggas, like niggins. Man, I've been on TikTok, and I've seen police sitting in the car listening to this shit in the background. Nick, I'm smoking the police car. Stop saying shit like that. Don't tell this story, man.

You smoked in the police car? The crime is done. Right. You said you smoked in the... All right. Nigel. I drove one. The nigga was hitting the light.

Come away. Everything. And I'm just hitting the weed. Stop playing, man. I swear on everything. But he was like, whew, whee. I was like, hell no. Now, see, that's the type of shit

that make you feel famous. Lazy. I said, this shit. That's the shit that'd make you feel famous. It's white boy famous. Man. He was a nigga cop, too. Don't say that, Mary that nigga already on thin ice with the police department.

There's nobody gonna do no investigation, man. Yes, they will. It was in your body camera, turn in your body camera, we believe. And we know that you all cut your body cameras off, don't it? Mm-hmm. Every time you hit their bitch. I was like, hell no, I swear. I don't tell them, I smoked the one with me and Bankroll Fresh got that,

rest of the piece of Bankroll Fresh. Man, the police probably get together on their off days and watch all their body. camera footage and laugh like a motherfucker. Why they have to delete so much other. For that instead of the other shit, they need to. I go with my cousin in the police car sometimes the dollar tree. Damn. But I don't like it.

What the hell? Why? Cuzz, I don't like, because you got to ride in the front seat. With the computer. Because you look like a snitch. Do that computer really work? Yeah. Do that computer really work?

Yeah. All that shit worked. I trip that eye. Can I make some fish? Okay. For some reason, that's fitting. That's fitting. That's a real hood niggas shit.

No, no, no. I'm talking about like. A prince or crown vick. The niggas were getting locked up in this bitch before I got. Right. No. Every time I was riding, niggins just take off all that. They don't even know.

I'm like, I'm like, that ain't me. The crown bit had the big light on the two. Y'all still had the little light on side. It ain't worked though. I just hold my arm out. Them, them old police cars are police favorite cars to pull over. Them shit's is beautiful. Because they already know it's all.

type of bullshit in there. Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro. And these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories

I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets. With over 37 million downloads, we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you, stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be told. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

Do you remember Vine? It changed the internet forever, and it vanished in its prime. I'm Benedict Townsend, and this is Vine, six seconds that changed the world. The untold story of genius, betrayal, and the app that died so that TikTok could thrive. From overnight stars to the fall that no one saw coming, we're breaking down what made Vine iconic. Listen to Vine on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, always. wherever you listen to podcasts. When your car is making a strange noise,

no matter what it is, you can't just pretend it's not happening. That's an interesting sound. It's like your mental health. If you're struggling and feeling overwhelmed, it's important to do something about it. It can be as simple as talking to someone, or just taking a deep, calming breath to ground yourself.

Because once you start to address the problem, you can go so much further. The Huntsman Mental Health Institute and the Ad Council have resources available for, for you at love your mind today.org. Oh, because if you're buying a whole box shit, they already know the type of life you're living. Like, if you buy a Crown Vic from a police auction

and you just leave that bitch white, where the stickers used to be, would it be dirty, and you leave a light on it. You still see the pole. Yeah. You can always tell, like, the difference, like a police crown vick, because they got bucket seats in like that threw up poop,

like the floor that you can't vomit on. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the hard shit, man. shit, man. Real bread right there.

Niggas love them cars for some reason, though. Especially in Alabama. It's because it's a D-12. Nobody in Alabama. No state rides more Crown Vicks than Alabama. At one, yeah. Even the longest. Alabama is a crown-big-ass state.

They love them. I don't know for what you, a crime vick or mercury. If they can't crown a front of Crown Vick, they get a Mercury. Caprice Classics. The old, I'm going early 90s of a box Chevy, shape, shit. You know I know. A knick don't know the flowmasses on them got down on Crown Vick. When you ride, that motherfucker lift up.

You don't feel natural. You're getting the police car with the supercharge engine that was good. Then my cousin got watered over. You know you- I put around and bought a police car. I bought a car from a nigga who was on the run and didn't know it.

Damn. I wonder why he was sending that shit so cheap. You were like, man, give me, give me some hundred. I was like, nigger, give me this motherfucker now, I swear, I wrote that big, about two months. Poli pulled him you over when he was like, DeMarcus. I was like, Nick, my name, John, the fuck.

You ain't never switched the paperwork or me? Did you know you could buy an old fire truck? You're riding hot already. It's all right. Yes that me? That was two month run the car. Ain't that about the Lord. You can buy an old fire truck for like $800.

What? Where? In Birmingham? I'm gonna start shopping at Birmingham. You can buy old fire trucks. Like after like a certain mileage, they just put it out there. I'm gonna start paying attention to the shit y'all got going on in Birmingham, man. Oh, man.

It's the only auction. You can get like an old game. You got to ever come through and buy this whole truck. Yeah, because you know I'm fucking with the cars. You can get an ambulance. I don't want an ambulance. But I fuck with the cars. I'm going to start buying it.

I'm putting an ambulance. You can get an ambulance to be a live driver and get people to work quickly. Oh, that's the G-wagon. Why not just get an ambulance and be an ambulance driver? This shit. I'm about to start doing. Take nigs to the hospital for cheap. I'm about to start buying moving.

You're talking about you. Oh, I thought you're talking about safe. That's your hustle. Moving cars. 85 South ambulance. service. Don't trust it. No, because it's cheaper to get an Uber than it is to get an ambulance.

No, but y'all got to bed and shit, though. It's like Uber Black, but for ambulance. You can't trust it, though, because I don't, uh-uh. A nigga don't know if you're going to live or die. Yeah, that's too much, too much liability. For us to decide whether you're going to live or die, that's too much pressure. That's not. A nigga, like, call the ambulance.

He's like, nigger, I am the ambulance. No, but first thing. I think you need to stay here. You're going to get somebody else. Yeah, we won't be able to render no first aid. First aid extra, you just got to get them out. You're talking about, like, just for twisted ankles and broken arms and shit. Whatever they call you for, you don't get to decide.

Yeah. But, like, I'm talking about the car shit. I'm about to decide I get some moving cars. That's what I'm looking for. Some movie cars. Some movie cars have been calling me by cars, and I've been saying, I'm right to you, too. I need somebody with, like, 80 cars. I said, I know somebody who got it.

And niggas, I swooned everything. I said, I said, call me on three-way. They called in there. They were like, Carlos Miller, you got cars. He said, I have a lot of cars. What cause are you looking to purchase? Oh, are you looking to sell? No, I bought a regal from Mani Fresh.

That shit hard. Now, Bobbi's y'all. Put that bitch up and don't touch it. Why not? I'm gonna drive the fuck out of that. Regals? Guess what I'm playing. Get your roll on.

Yeah. Every time I get in that bitch, I'm playing that. What about the once in that song? It's like cut this Monte Carlo's and Regals. Yeah, I got the regal. I got the regal from me. from me. I'm hitting the bar.

What you want? What you want? What you want to spend no money, man. You be bullshit. I don't least you know, because I see ya. That was a tight-a-niggin' man. Oh, man. Man, you got to pay it in the car game, man.

I said, love me. How much you want for that? He said, man. He was like, no. I know you, man. You don't really want to know how much. Hell no, man. I'm like, man, say, say, me their motherfucker.

Do you see the type of a nigga ask you how much you want for the motherfucker? Give you one. one-sixth of the money and walk off like he put you in the game. Dude. Hey. I dig it 30%. Nick, you are nowhere close to my assing price.

Thanks to my mom, I know how to bargain. I don't know who the fuck you've been dealing with. So what you spend money on? Like, I'm using two for $8.89, like, proceed just on cause. Okay. No. $2.8.000.

I know it's another one I can get this one. But check this out. This one thing about. Give me something like, I ain't put it to buy them to that damn car. Give me it to everybody. This is the most important shit about cars. You get what you pay for. Definitely.

You're not going to get over on the fucking car. Let me take you video. I didn't run and I thought I was going to rebuild it. And when it came inside of my yard, I said, why in the fuck did I buy this? Broke it down, piece of bullshit. And you thought you was, for real. And I thought I was going to fix it. No.

I'm selling this shit. 90 trips to AutoZone. Listen, everything has to be rebuilt and touched. You have to be patient to do that. Let me tell you. You know. I don't see. It's just one particular story here.

I just saying this motherfucker. It ain't the car sometimes. Sometimes it's about how you get the car. Am I right or wrong? Sometimes. You know what I'm saying? Now, you're going to turn the car to whatever you want to turn it to. It don't matter.

But sometimes it's about how you get the car and who the car belong to first sometimes. Am I right or wrong? You stole the car, brother. This ain't about me. With the fly, no, you ain't talking to him. how what the car is about how you get it. I know you ain't talking in here.

You know, you know what thing about it. You got a box truck. I'll pull it up. This nigga will lock, oh. You got to put it out and say you want it. All right, that's how we're doing it. I'm gonna grab that motherfucker.

You know, you know. You know, you're the bit of jail. Every goddamn, you know, I know. You know, I'm not mad because you ain't called me. I'm just saying, look. Look, this one story. Look, this one story. The lady is an old lady who had the car.

You know what I'm saying? And it belonged to her husband. You know what I'm saying? I'm saying. I was one of the grand nationals or something like that. And I think it was one owner. Yeah, one owner. You know what I'm saying?

You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? And you know what I'm saying? She was like, baby, my husband passed away from him. And I never, I said I never would sell it. You know what I mean? All her feelings had as hell. Nah, he ain't passing the car.

He just passed away. But that was all she had to remember him. You know what I'm saying? And Lowe's just being compassionate like that, man. You know what I mean? He was just like, man, if you feel like that, it don't even matter. Bitch, how much you want for the car.

I'm like, God damn, Colo. What you was in a granddad story? I mean, I ain't even want to tell that story. You know what I'm saying? But the niggum been talking about me and damn you know. But go ahead. Y'all talk to it. You bought them rebuilds?

Mm-hmm. That's the best way to buy them sometimes. Don't talk to this nigga, man. Don't talk to this nigga, man. Don't talk to these niggum, let me tell you all that. Let me tell you all that. Let me tell you all that. I don't get a lot.

I remember, I don't know, fly. I was in the first show. I was at DC Yoke's life first show when he rocked in the Uptime. It's on the pictures right now. Y. Y'all go to the Instagram. Check my Instagram. All right. You know, you really?

All right. Any nigga that fix it in the auto zone parking lot. That me. That's, yeah. I love them. If a nigga just fix his car right next to a little ceasers in front of everybody, that car is important. That dude who always could tell you what type of, what type of?

No, because I need help. What type of rent you need? Give him $7. Right here. Give me a 313. Give me a 5-8. So as you get into them, they'll tell you what it is. There ain't no goddamn 5-8.

Hey, man. DC, man. I saw you. My fucking battery died last week when I left here. I was at the gas station and my battery dad. I was in the Cadillac in the old school. I know. The car battery dad?

I said, fuck. Man, I'm fucking battery dad. I got to jump this bitch off. This nigga pulled up in a suburban and said, no, the fuck you went. Jumped out, boost my shit off. That's up. I was like, man, I get,

like, hell no, Lord, I didn't let you do that, man. Hell no, I pulled you too hard, man. Yeah, people put it up. I'm pulling up. I'm pulling up. Man, so my battery was dead, and I'm like, you know, I'm popping the hood. I'm like, shit, I ain't got no jumping cable.

I got a fine. So I'm like, damn. Yeah, and they were like, hell no, I got you. You don't see in the city. In the city. Now, I remember one time. It's like that nigga killed the battery

and jumped out too fast. Sometimes people be bad luck. It ain't. even the car, sometimes it's the people that be bad luck. No, man, cause I'm gonna tell you right now, man. That nigga looked out. You got too in the goddamn car and not have no portable... The battery jumps, yeah.

I do. But then you're me, I'm talking about... How many of the motherfuckers? That's me. I got six old schools. You got it. And when I'm in the old school, I usually have it. It just so happened that I didn't even...

You got too... Look, look, dab all that. You thought the car gonna make it. He had the son. I'm still a goddamn... We had an accident. We did that. show we had the accident, you know what I had the accident.

Okay, I had the accident. I know not to get locked up to show at it. Let's keep it real. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. We want to say, Cincinnati, right? It's on the ground.

It's on the ground. Check before that. Talk about it. Now we were leaving Kentucky. You a goddamn lie. We were leaving Cincinnati and we rolled through Kentucky. You know what I'm saying? And I know this already.

Let me tell you what. First of all, I'm driving to the show. I'm driving my baby mama car. I'm driving my wife car to the motherfucking show, Nick. To the show. You ready. Cause somebody left me. Okay.

Okay. Okay. That's what I was gonna show with. Let me. You know what I? He ain't leave me, really. You know what I'm saying? I just told him, all right, nigger.

We're gonna go to the show or whatever, you know what I'm saying? But anyway, I ain't up driving. And then I'm gonna drive back. So Lowe was like, shit, man, damn. I hate the goddamn being this goddamn airport. Man, I'm tired of being this airport. I said, well, shit, I'm from the goddamn drive back shit in the morning. He was like, shit, you're trying to drive back tonight?

I was like, see, man, I really went trying to drive. One trying to drive. You're like, shit, fucking niggins shit. We're driving during the drive. I was like, you know what, Carlos? You want to go back? We'd go to night. No problem.

Right. I'm Chris Jones. I'm the friend. Right. You drive. I'm Chris at a job job. I'm on the road with Carlos Miller. Ain't nothing, Carlos.

You want to ride back? Come on, ride with me. They do it. But we have to take the roller car back. Right? Right, Loz? He ain't said nothing because he knew he wrong. God.

Let me tell you, Deney. Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord, look. Lord have mercy. I remember because it was raining, it was raining so hard. Man, soon the show was over with, bro, you know what I'm saying? We leave, and we had to take the runner car back to the airport, you know what I'm saying? And we're coming around the curve, bro, you know what I'm saying?

And something just went off of my head, like, well, wouldn't you sleep? No, it was just like it was hydroplane a little bit because I wasn't supposed to drive the car, you know what I'm saying? Get your hydroplane because I won't put him to drive. Because I got left. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

Look at you. When I came around that little curve, what did you do? That motherfucker kept going, and then I saw the wall. I said, see, that's it. Boom! And when it hit the wall, I said, damn. Then I said, I'm all right. I open the dough.

I was like, damn, I'm stuck in there. I was like, damn. And I looked up, maybe like, I think about three, four cars pulled over, white dudes pulled over, construction motherfucker. Pulled over, like, hey, I think you can back out if I can get the stick, if I can get the stick, If I can get the plane and put it down, I said, all, go ahead, put it down.

Now I'm calling Loz right now. I said, Loz, man, I'd have had a fucking accident. And I think, I thought you were behind me. I said, man, I'd have had an accident right now, come on. So y'all drive you driving up, get this shit out of the car. Yeah. You drive two different cars.

So I'm taking it back to the window. Hold on. So OK, all right, all right. So look, so look, when he's coming back, right? So he's coming back now, the dude to put the plane back there. He said, I got the plank back there. He said, I got the plank back there. I said, hell yeah.

get in there, I was like, boom, as soon as I did like this, you know what I'm saying, scoot it back a little bit, I said, oh yeah, boom, boom, boom, I'm out in the road, nigga, I'm like, hell yeah, I'm dirty too, nigga, got through drinking, I was drinking. You gotta go. I was drinking, I was gonna chill to the morning. Somebody had to go. Right, here we go.

Right. Right. When I got the car out of the road, Loz coming back around now, you know what I'm saying? When you come back around, I said, man, how you doing, Loz? Man, what's up, bro? I love you, bro. My life flashed before my eyes. Man, get your hands off me, ain't shit wrong with you, man.

The car right here. I said, man, you're gonna sit up and act like that. I swear to God, I'm not lying. So we go ahead, we took the car back to a real car place. I swear to God, y'all sit up in line, Roy, you know ain't lying to you? Oh my God, have mercy, y'all stand up here a lot. And to fuck you up, though.

Okay? Why you ain't. Let's get to it. Let's get to it. He ain't tag. He ain't. Okay. Who you love?

What you love, man? D.C., when I see the nigga, he was crammed, man. You're crying. I would cry. You're crying. You're crying. You're crying, man. Not everybody crying, man.

That thing cried, man. Oh, my God. That thing is crying like a motherfucker. Oh, my God. I miss you, man. He was crying when he said that shit. Man, look, brother. Anyway, brother, brother, the car intact, you know what I'm saying?

It was a big old boom on the side, you know what I'm saying? It was a big old boom on the side. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Cried like you, bro. Where you been, man? I love you, man. I love you, man.

We like five hours. Look, look, we five hours away. Look, we five hours away. We're five hours away. We start riding, look, look, we start riding about an hour. We start riding. The crazy part, that's exactly what this thing is said. This thing said, what you mean?

Can you know I had an accident before when I had lost my memory? But I had remembered that I have forgotten. You know what I'm saying? This thing ain't lost this motherfucker memory. This man is so full of the whole story. He's so full of shit, man. Listen, dog.

Okay. Can we go. Let's get to it. Let's get to it. Let's get to this, man. So we ride still. Maybe like another 45 minutes maybe. So you gotta have a terrible accident.

We're in Kentucky now, you know what I'm saying? How fuck y'all can't get in Kentucky, man? We're coming from Ohio, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I thought I was in Ohio. I'm from Alabama, man. Look here, check this time. We ride. I don't know.

So you, you, you, come. Let's listen, we're here. We're in Kentucky now, right? Okay. Bro, it's raining and Carlo said, he's that. Man, what made you drive this car? This car. I said, what the fuck you mean?

What made me drive this car? I said, no, chill out, man. Because I'm still trying to tell him I had the accident. He don't believe I had the accident. He said, he said, he said, the car good. I said, yeah, the car good. Why wouldn't the car be good? He said, got the lights on the dashboard off.

I ain't even looking at the dadboard because I'm still shook from the accident. I'm just trying to make sure I stay focused. I look at the dashboard. I said, oh, the lights off. I said, the alternator. So I turn the head lights off. Soon as I turned the head lights off, low jump over me, like, motherfucker, what you doing?

I said, I'm trying to see. saved the battery. He said, boy, I don't give a damn by no battery, digger, you know what I'm saying? I said, okay. So you know what I'm not? And then I turned the lights on. And then the car slowed down. He was like, oh, shit, we ain't nowhere around no gas station, nothing. I said, I told you, I turned the lights back on. I turned my phone on. Literally, I got my cell phone. So your phone is the headlights. My cell phone is the headlights now. You know what I'm saying? Bro, we is in the mountains, though. You know what I'm so mad. I'm saying, man, what the fuck is going on, bro? I don't do this shit, though. I have to blame.

ticket. I said, bitch, I knew me. My goddamn car, goddamn, goddeme, he's not. I already prepared. I'm already prepared, because I already know something was wrong when I had the accident. I'm just trying to get to the exit right quick. And we're trying to get pulled over right here. You know what I'm saying? Not in this car. Not right now. Goddamic, bro. The exes say like two miles. I said, Loz, this motherfucker is not goddamn right now. Make it, I'm going to just see what's up. And I hit that bitch like 120, goddammit. Like, said, Loz was like, oh, he just put on the seatbelt. He said, I'm good, nigga.

I'm good. I said, I'm good too, bitch. I said, I'm good too, bitch. Don't you worry about nothing. We're gonna get them, dick. Now, I'm trying to go as fast I can in case the car got the coast, you know what I'm saying? We finally get up the hill and it started to go out again.

I was like, come on, baby, come on now. I'm shit. Low said, man, this car ain't shit. You ain't shit. I said, alright? Don't you worry about nothing. Don't you worry about that. We're gonna get up here.

Man, we got up the hill. And soon we came in the gas station, I said, I told you what? I told you what? What? We didn't have another inch to go right here. We literally pulling up right there at the gas park were right there. I said, yeah, bitch. What the fuck we need gas farm to ultimately go on now?

But we had to get off the road. Wait a minute. We all say the only fucking thing that saved us, nigga. The fuck, we, the only thing that saved us was the motherfucking was the motherfucking gas station that we pulled up in was on a hill directly across from a hotel. Right. So when we pull up to this goddamn gas. I don't know what the fuck we're going to do at the gas station. It's raining hard.

It's raining hard. I said, nigga, fuck this shit. Rain and hard. The police was right there, Lowe. Exactly. And when the police is right there, I said, we got to go. I tried to pull off again. Los said, bitch, we can't go nowhere.

I said, we can't stay here. Where are you going? I swear to God, we can't stay here. Where are you going? We get the car. We're on the hill. The hotel, like, the hotel like right here. The gas station like on the hill right here.

So we got to goddamn go coast down the hill and just coasts into the Cotein to the hotel. Nigger, this is the worst Motel 6 I ever seen. It looked like El Chapo Trap House in that motherfucker. Facts. It's all type of motherfuckers

walking around. Now, keep in mind, it's about dabbing there three in the morning. Most of the motel for everybody outside. Man, it's so much foot traffic around this bitch. I'm like, man, ain't no fucking way.

You don't know what foot traffic. That's got a hotel you go to get a room and end up buying some pussy in that bitch, you know what you're doing? That's a hotel's right now. Hell long. Come on.

My real dogs don't pay for cats. Stop them at. So, look. No, we didn't have got down. I'm just talking about Tila. Oh. Stay at this goddamn Motel Six, man. So just so happened to exit that we fucking coasted off on,

it was a fucking, like, an auto shop off that bitch. But it's kind of like off in the woods. So the nigga, I said shit, the alternate out, we already know that shit. In the road of car. I was like, nigger, buy a battery. We could buy a battery, and then we can see if we can get to this goddamn shop.

Man, we get to this shop. It's some of them strange. looking as red nakes, man, but they nice as a motherfucker. They buying niggas sodas and y'all don't get a burger from down the street. I swear I thought they were in the hang-up. But this shit in the middle of the woods, it's just woods around this. Like literally, but this is our last hoax? Right.

I said, Lois. This is it? Is it? This shit all the way up the hill, nigger, in the middle of nowhere. Ain't nothing popping after this. And this white man be like, y'all gotta stay for dinner. We gotta stay for dinner. I already knew something.

Listen, I already knew something wrong, though. We ain't seen nobody saying land night. They were trying to get us fat, like no cartoon, like Bug Bunny, when they'd be getting them to carrots and shit like that. And it was all your fault, Chris. Hold on, let's get to the point. Look. We still ain't got that.

I need it to alternate them. Man, we get to these white people. We get to these white people shop, man. We ain't that motherfucker about 10 minutes. The white dude go back in there. I can get you fixed up. Get it fixed up. I don't know what the fuck got to be wrong with your car

before you can get it fixed up. Right, right, right. We go get it. We're gonna get it fixed up. Man, so I'm like, these motherfucking nice as hell. Then I looked around and they came back and they were like, think we can get a picture. I was like, for what?

Well, they say you got off for MTV. Oh, I said, I just told you. I told you here with somebody. Oh, shit. That's the crazy shit, man. We way up in the fucking middle of Tennessee somewhere in the woods, woods. And that he had the little son.

His son told me, I didn't took attention with everybody in their goddamn shopping. Guess what? They gotta speak, dude. Man, that motherfucker came out there like he was gonna charge us of the strip, bro. We were like, man. Man, that motherfucker fucked up, man.

He named a bunch of shit. I don't know what they're gonna be. That man came out there. He said, hell, you owe me about 200, 64. I don't know. That's about $3.64. Oh, 64.

You had that, man. You can have that. With interest, get your ass on. Man, we got up there, but, but, but, but, but, but I play. But, but, but, but... But I went off the shop. This car he never ran that good since he had it. That motherfucker was running.

I'm amazing. Man, that nigger fixed everything. That's on motion. Man, that motherfucker got the pulling spark plugs out of all kind of shit. Yeah. Hell yeah. He got it fixed up. You got a number.

You got it. Yeah, we didn't see that thing about it. We'll never find their place again. Never seen again. Then when we were leaving, he was like, Lowe's just like, see, boy, I told you everybody ain't like that, I said, I know. So on the day left, they was like, see ya late, niggas.

See y'all that shit? And we don't talk to that nigger, right? See what I'm talking about? Everything I come with the truth. You fucked up, man. That's cool, man. That's cool, man. Roy got a new comedy special coming out, man.

Yeah, man. October 29th, Comedy Central in perfect message. Hey, I can't wait to see that shit. Hello, Al. Charamount plus, yeah, but I told 29. I know you ain't get no shoutouts on that bitch, so you got to shout your people out on this show so they'll know that you ain't forgot them.

Who? Like the people, like Uncle Derek and them, the people who believed in you and shit. They already know it. They're mad because I ain't say their name on me. Join IHeart Radio and Sarah Spain in celebrating the one-year anniversary of I-Hart Women's Sports.

With powerful interviews and insider analysis, our shows have connected fans with the heart of women's sports. In just one year, the network has launched 15 shows and built a community united by passion. Podcasts that amplify the voices of women in sports. Thank you for supporting IHeart Women's Sports and our founding sponsors, Elf Beauty, Capital One, and Novartis. Just open the free IHeart app and search IHeart Women's Sports to listen now.

I knew I wanted to obey and submit, but I didn't fully grasp for the rest of my life what that meant. For My Heart Podcasts and Rococo Punch, this is the turning. River Road. In the woods of Minnesota, a cult leader married himself to 10 girls and forced them into a secret life of abuse. But in 2014, the youngest escaped. Listen to the Turning River Road on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous.

stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. This is an IHeart podcast. This shit, fuck him.