The 85 South Show with Karlous Miller, DC Young Fly and Chico Bean - The Augusta Live Comedy Special With DCYoungFly Karlous Miller & Chico Bean | Ep. 202

Episode Date: October 4, 2019

The 85 South Show goes to the hometown of the hardest working man in show bidness - James Brown - and they light up Augusta with laughs at The Bell Auditorium! They roast everybody In the front row and talk about them women who drive Toyota Camry’s and Honda Accords. Plus they explain how to not be a sucker when you taking to a women who’s in a relationship and DC tells a story from the trap house about Meth Heads! This is the coldest podcast! FOLLOW THE CREW KARLOUS MILLER - https://www.facebook.com/karlousm/ DCYOUNGFLY - https://www.facebook.com/DcYoungFly1/ CHICO BEAN - https://www.facebook.com/OldSchoolFool/ BILLY SORRELLS - https://www.facebook.com/billysorrells/ FAT AND PAID - https://www.facebook.com/Fatandpaid/ DARREN BRAND - https://www.facebook.com/darrenbigbab... CLAYTON ENGLISH - http://www.claytonenglish.com/ JOE T. NEWMAN - http://www.ayoungplayer.com CHAD OUBRE - https://www.instagram.com/chadoubre/ LANCE CRAYTON - https://www.instagram.com/cat_corleone_/ J.O.N - https://www.instagram.com/heeeyj_o_n/ CRIAG GRAVES - https://www.instagram.com/craigshoots23/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Ah, come on. Why is this taking so long? This thing is ancient. Still using yesterday's tech, upgrade to the ThinkPad X-1 Carbon, ultra-light, ultra-powerful, and built for serious productivity

with Intel core ultra-processors, blazing speed, and AI-powered performance. It keeps up with your business, not the other way around. Whoa, this thing moves. Stop hitting snooze on new tech. Win the tech search at Lenovo.com. unlock AI experiences with the ThinkPad X1 Carpent, powered by Intel Core Ultra processors,

so you can work, create, and boost productivity all on one device. I knew I wanted to obey and submit, but I didn't fully grasp for the rest of my life what that meant. For My Heart Podcasts and Rococo Punch, this is The Turning, River Road. In the woods of Minnesota, a cult leader married himself to 10 girls and 4.4. them into a secret life of abuse. But in 2014, the youngest escaped. Listen to the Turning River Road on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Join IHeart Radio and Sarah Spain in celebrating the one-year anniversary of IHeart Women's Sports. With powerful interviews and insider analysis, our shows have connected fans with the heart of women's sports. In just one year, the network has launched 15 shows and built a community united by passion. that amplify the voices of women in sports. Thank you for supporting IHeart women's sports

and our founding sponsors, Elf Beauty, Capital One, and Novartis. Just open the free IHeart app and search IHeard Women's Sports to listen now. Where are we right now? Where we're located? It's called Augusta George, the heart of the South. Yeah, man, the other eight-town.

You might not know about Augusta, but it's raw down here. That's the shit, it's real. Yeah, man, it's down here, 85 South. That's all we on tonight. You know, about to give these people hell of the show. They know what it is. They out here. They out here.

So yeah, a lot of that. A lot of that. A lot of that. Yeah What's up, Augusta! The 85 South show is in the building. Where are my 85% make some noise? We're about to tell this place up in here.

Make sure you tell somebody what you're seeing here tonight. You are witnesses. and greatness. On my right side, you guys ready to have some fun? Say hell yeah. Keep the house dark for me. Keep it dark for me. Keep it dark for me. On my right side, if you guys ready to get the show started, say hell yeah. On my left side, if you're ready to get your show started, say hell yeah. All my weed smokers in the middle. If you ready to get the show started, say hell yeah. Stand up, Augustine. Take your friend. phone down, stand up. You are witnessing greatness tonight. You are witnessing the next

kings of comedy. Augusta, I'm going to need you guys to make as much noise as you can. If you're ready to get the show started, say, hell yeah. Augusta, start clapping right now. This is the 85th album show. Yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah. What to tell her, ah, where we're in, we're in Augusta, Georgia. We're in Augusta, Georgia. We're in Augusta, Georgia. We're in Augusta, Georgia.

We're in Augusta, Georgia. How ya, I feel, the Gus to Georgia? This shit looks so good. How y'all feel tonight? How y'all feel the night? Uh-oh. How y'all feel the name? People in the back what they do?

People in the back what they do? People in the back what they do? Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Them people seats all the way in the back looking like a headlight. Look at this shit. They in the top right corner.

corner being a top y'all niggas in the pocket up there they in the last seat day in the last seat that ain't even this building they next door they got tickets to the show next door y'all can sit down that's a good that's a good one has had in augusta we're in augusta augusta we're at augusta augusta augusta augusta augusta Augusta Augusta Augusta Augusta Augusta Augusta Augusta, Augusta. Hey, we're the pretty ladies at in Augusta. Where the pretty ladies at in Augusta. We're the pretty ladies at in Augusta.

She stood up with it. Ooh. Ooh. Come here. I lick all. Ooh, I lick every line on your body. You better, ooh. Her tits ain't fake.

I bet she'd make a real good pound cake. Hey, I sell it till this ain't fake. I bet she'd make a real good pound cake. Hold on, she need to stop her. I bet she makes some good piece, copla. I said, Cheek, you need to stop her. I bet she makes some good piece copla. I said, D.C., she'd know what I want.

Because her arm looked like a croissant. Hey, she'd know what I want. Both of her arm looked like a croissant. With no sugar. Oh, man, we're gonna tone that shit. Five, four, three, two, one, and we've done. Fuck you in. Yeah.

Augusta, what's up? Boy, it looked like we had a graduation in this motherfucker, boy. This shit so late, oh my. They got us. We're having a show at the basketball game. ball game this this a bitch oh my good this the home of what pastor try yeah what la ha ha ha hey y'all tell that niggas stop making them stupid and commercials call 1 800 that's the master ha ha if you in pain call 411 pain you know what he was doing

the insurance commercial and a PT cruiser Like, nigga don't know about trying no goddamn PT crews. Well, la ha! Boy, I saw about fine ladies' falls trying to walk in heels coming in this bitch. You know, goddamn well. I saw one bitch flip all the way. Oh, you know you don't wear no heels,

you should have put on them goddamn Air Force One that came onto the show like you're supposed to. He was too small. They know they can't walk. They're like walking on ice, you look. Hey, you know who else from Augusta Fly? What? Jane Brown.

Oh! It's a nigga right now. So you... Hold up. I found Jane Brown cousin. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Tell on the time of the top.

Uh, chill, till, tell me the top. Uh, sit on the top. Y'all ain't shit. That nigga ain't stupid. Niggins talk about mumble rap. James Brown was the first mama rapper, nigga. See me in there, more viz. You could tell me, Jane Brown ain't had roachin.

Ha! You could tell me, Jane Brown ain't had roaches. Good God, damn. Go another one. Shit. See me in a death. Hold up, fool. Don't move. Shit.

Tell me, hit me the jack now. Come on. Kill the roach. Come on, y'all. Got killed the roach. Tell me, I didn't kill the roach. Y'all, y'all assholes. Man, James is a legend, nigga.

James, dude. Hey. What I'm gonna do with you, your finger hurt. Nah, she's been practicing beating the dick, and it hurt her hand. She was like, I'm gonna catch Carlos. I don't want to deal with nobody who that rough with a dick, then she hurt herself. You're a professional corn flipper.

Listen, you know she a freak. She saw jacking underhand, nigga. I was jacking Carlos. I'm like, hey. Them balls. I know she must have the balls and the dick at the same time, multitask. tell you how you know she line, my dick ain't even set up like that. They ain't gonna do nothing

if you're jagging like that. I'm overhanded. She got overhand my shit. You must drive underhand. You be one to one that. This bitch gonna hurt her whole wrist trying to turn the whole goddamn wheel around. Break dancing. You'll be all right.

She said I broke a bone in my hand, Carlos. What's up? Like she wanted to put them on in insurance or something. What's up? Bro, if she broke a bone in her hand, hand by herself. You know she don't want to fuck with me. I'll break that bone in her ass. You know old people, they just break bones. She just fell.

That's damn it. I think I don't brook some shit. This shit even happened. She just fell asleep on that bitch. Yep. What type of those of me is? I'm going to swoosh those. I'm saying that shit. Swoosh. Old Kitchen doors, nigga. It's a kitchen

back there. That's no goddamn. What I did? Blue Sea Dole. Yeah, uh-huh, like on a boat. Matter of fact, this shit do look like we're on a fucking boat. We're in the Titanic. Like we're in the bottom of a carnival cruise line right now. And this is the last show. This is why all the niggas came

in the Titanic. They're like, they don't know nothing about this spot. Nope. Ain't that a bitch four niggas just came out their kitchen. That's crazy. Them niggas heard that's tough. Hey man, y'all niggas talk about us. What the fuck, bro? We work hard back here. What they feel, y'all?

What's up, baby? Popcar. no motherfucking moving niggins. I like this guy. Do he look like a movie, bitch, man? Bro, you ain't see this audience, bro, look at all these thick fan

that is women. Oh, yeah. What the fuck does you make a noise for, sir? He got tithes. I said, look at all these thick fan women. The white dude said,

woo! Hey, ain't that my man from Knoxville? That's the white dude from Knoxville right there. Was that name? Timbo. What's up Timbo Ray?

He still got that stupid-a-bang, though. You got that Hitler bang. Shout out to all the gangster-ass niggas in Augusta. I see y'all coming in. Yep. They driving them conversion vans. Go on lay that third row back there. You can turn it to a bed right now.

I see you, OG. You and there be a cookout clean, my name. Like white shorts with the little button up, with the glasses sitting on top of the hat. on top of the hat, man. You look like you won a competition at the electric slide. Nigger, you just look like you're a bus. Oh, my turn.

That nigger looked like he said on time shells, what, the fuck? You got $10, right? Ugh. That they got on a can go. He got his sunglasses on top of his can go hat. This thing is stupid. They're going to be looking for them, bitch. He's like, what my goddamn glass?

Then his wife's going to be helping him. You had him when we was at him. he was at the show. I know, baby, what I do with him? I don't know. Keep looking. Excuse me, because y'all make an announcement. It's a pair of Raybans missing. I ain't lost the motherfucking thing.

Somebody stole my goddamn glasses. That's what that was. I ain't even going to look for the shit. What you were saying that, sir? What are you saying that? I was on the front. I was on the goddamn front. Because you know, we got money.

We said upfront. I wouldn't want to say you got money. You stole them, see. Shut up. We appreciate it. y'all Augusta we sold it bit out look at this shit oh this shit lit Augusta Georgia hey what's up lady I can't see you it's dark they made sure we can't see me you can see me turn the light on let me see me turn the light on let me

niggas got nervous niggas turn the lights on I can't see we got to see we're here they ain't got no lights in the back they were like we ain't gonna do that right now yeah they up there in that Muppet baby corner you know the mother babies but you need a flash light no not them like I want to see these motherfuckers right here yeah we up top right then we are all shit look at this nigga they ain't this bitch we in this bitch in Augusta any shout out to that side right there they don't have no lights in this section ain't no lights up here ain't no front lights

What the fuck going on? Ain't no front lights. I want to see what the people in the front look like. Turn the goddamn light zone. There you go. Turn a motherfucking lights on. Light on. Turn the motherfucking lights on.

Turn the motherfucking lights on. Turn the motherfucking lights on. Hold up. Wait. Look at Auntie Brains. The brains are ugly as fuck, bro. Hold up. You said, what the fuck, bitch, are them dressed?

She don't know. She was like, bitch, fuck it. Let's go. This nigga in the front don't stand the chance. We're in these pink-ass, tight-ass pants. He worked at Enterprise. Hey, at DC, you know I came here to kick it. The gay girl in the front.

front got a dildo in her purse. What the fuck? She got a dick in the bag. Just so you know, she bought the small one so she can fuck her girl at the show. Like, bitch, don't move. She got a dick in her bag. Bring who ass here? She got a dick in her bag.

She told me to bring my ass here. Got a dick. Oh, bring your ass down. She told me bring my ass here. She wants you to bring your ass there. She thought me bring my eyes here. She wants to bring my ass here. She wants them.

Dick D.C. D.C. She wants a dick D.C. Dick D.C. She wants a dick D.C. She wants a dick D.C. She wants to go. D.C.

D.C. D. Y'all turned the shut off. Stop. Stop. We got to see who in him. We got to stop. Her coochie getting wet.

She ain't know that was going to happen. She got to go in there and change them Calvin Clam boxes. She got on. Hey, man. I don't know if y'all know this, but these women didn't got tough business. a motherfucker man what happened the girl sent me a picture of her pussy and then she's gonna write under it on soft oh so on this bitch times have really changed bro I don't want no on hard

pussy lady if your pussy get hard stay away from me this bitch got an direction I don't want to do it to her no more that pussy do get hard when they shave Look, that little bumps and shit, and they hurt shit right down. That shit. That shit, that shit felt like sandpaper. Look like you got that nestly crunch on your pussy, man. And she wants you to go down and eat it. I'm like, bitch, I'm not feeling lick no concrete.

You get up. She's talking about your lips and shit, I know. Ladies, you better stop letting these aggressive-ass ladies wax your pussy, too. Some of them don't look the same after you get them wax. The pussy's be looking sad. Make a nigga want to talk to it like white a long face, little fella. Shout out to all these black-ass police officers. How y'all doing? They send four black police officers to make us feel safe.

We are. I still don't feel safe, man. I don't trust no police, no disrespect guys, but you niggas are only friendly sometimes. Motherfuckers be making you feel like they fuck with you. You talked about it before. about it before, them police, especially the black ones, they come up to you talking slang and shit. What's up with you, my nigga, how you feel, bro? Yeah, you was going a little fan. But what was going on, man?

You speak the shit, you straight. All right, hold on one second. Uh-oh, you know what that mean. You're going to jail! 1412, yeah, we got two dreadlock murderers in the front seat of a Chevy Caprice. Yeah, I smell weed and cocaine. So if you can send two white people down here

so we can really scare them, that'll be great. Chico, how to fucking smell the cocaine? Exactly. Cocaine got a smell. Ah, come on. Why is this taking so long? This thing is ancient. Still using yesterday's tech, upgrade to the ThinkPad X1 Carbon,

ultra-light, ultra-powerful, and built for serious productivity. With Intel core ultra-processors, blazing speed, and AI-powered performance, it keeps up with your business, not the other way around. Whoa, this thing moves. Stop hitting snooze on new tech. Win the tech search at Lenovo.com. Lenovo, Lenovo.

Unlock AI experiences with the ThinkPad X1 Carbon, powered by Intel Core Ultra processors so you can work, create, and boost productivity all on one device. For My Heart Podcasts and Rococo Punch, this is The Turning, River Road. I knew I wanted to obey and submit, but I didn't fully grasp for the rest of my life what that meant.

In the woods of Minnesota, a cult leader married himself to 10 girls and forced them into a secret life of abuse. Why did I think that way? Why did I allow myself to get so sucked in by this man and thinking to the point that if I died for him, that would be the greatest honor? But in 2014, the youngest of the girls escaped, and sparked an international manhunt. For all those years, you know, he was the predator and I was the prey.

And then he became the prey. Listen to The Turning River Road on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebene, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sure. sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all, childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health struggles, and more,

and found the shrimp to make it to the other side. My dad was shot and killed in his house. Yes, he was a drug dealer, yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on the street corner he wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal he was shot in his house unarmed pretty private isn't just a podcast it's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines every tuesday make sure you listen to pretty private from the black effect podcast network tune in on the iHeart radio app apple podcast or wherever you listen to your favorite shows That nigga said

Cocaine, showdug Especially that scrape drop Smell good than the motherfucker 10, boy, I tell you that right now That nigga snow powder Salute to all the OGs and hear to snow powder We know you know how to manage it

Nigger, you've been doing it since the 70s Nigger don't try to judge you Because you won't powder like you don't know how to conduct yourself when you snore the line Stop doing that shit on Ray Fuck you, nigga Been doing this shit just As long as you know how to got to control yourself

But they can't stay still The powder here is in here right now, sweating real hard. Yeah. Nah, the young niggas ain't on the powder. That motherfuckers on them perk 30s in this bitch. The powder head, I always had like they forgot something. God damn it. You know what?

You know what I forgot? My goddamn glasses. What my glasses is at, nigga? You know what, I've seen them, but shit, I don't see them. Shout out to all the couples in here that's shaped just alike. Y'all both got the same body. Well, the same clothes. Now turn the music off, this is a serious business.

Hey fellas, grown men. You remember when you was 20, you could fuck all night? Yeah. You remember that's it? Mm-hmm. A lot of men can't fuck all night no more. If you want to go back to the days where you can fuck all night, I know the people at bluechew.com and they have given me a promo code

so me and my partner's skin, goddamn go get the blue chew pills. get the blue chew pills and fuck these women all night long because that's what they want these days. Really? Go to blue chew.com and use the code 85 South Show and get you a discount on your chewable blue chew.com pills because they're good and they get, make your meet get harder. Not saying that nobody's lagging in that department, but I'm saying if you want to hit it with the rock, hit her with the motherfucking rock, go to blue chew.com, use the promo code 85 shots. Now I'm not saying that this is FDA approved or nothing, but you experiment with shit all the time.

Why wouldn't you want to experiment with bluechew.com? If you out of look and you have problems getting it up, uh, here's what you need to do, bluechew. Bluechoo.com, go get you some said bluechew.com and go get you some said bluechoo.com and go get you some. Come, you can make love to your lady. Come on, y'all. For a long, long time, and hit her with that wood. I swear to God, I ain't line.

It's a sexual stimulant, and make your meat get hard. It's a sexual stimulant, and make your meat get hard. Well, all the big people that's in a relationship, big couples. I'm talking about like you got somebody big. Big, and both of y'all big. Just big and in love. There you go. Y'all sweat when y'all sweat.

Yeah, y'all gotta fuck from the side only, nigga. He said, no, fuck that, nigga. I'm mobile with mine, nigga. Like, who go on top? Do y'all just be sitting there making a decision? Like, I ain't nothing. Shit, they both on top when they get on top. Then both of their big ass got to get out their bed.

They got a ramp. When big people get out of their bed, they got a ramp. They're like, yep. What y'all niggas do for fun here in Augusta? Drive to Atlanta. Oh, tell you. That's it. That's all they do.

Who ain't here from Atlanta? Anybody from Atlanta? Well, why you move to Augusta? They license were fucked up in Fulton County, move down here. She's talking about hold up now. I'm just saying, bitch, don't nobody move. I love August, I think my wife live down here. For real?

Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna go. These Augusta women appreciate your hand, bro. You bought her a 2015 Honda. A Honda one. With the sunroo, she'll be crying like hell in their Walmart parking like quitting her job. Bitch. It took so long to vote with somebody real.

Like, my nigga bought me a whole ass car, bitch. I'm going to quit and open my Instagram business on you all I'm fucking with a real nigga he already gave me like 4,000 and some 2015 For real

With the rims on him A 2015 Honda Hey With the goddamn rims Yes To 2015 Honda What

Where the goddamn ring That's what she drove Yeah 2015 Honda Hey, that's real cool Come on You must love that bitch Because I would bought her

A 2002 Yeah, I bought a Honda Cause when we fuck I'm never bought Yo I could have bought her a Civic But I said fucking import my bitch in a corn. Because you bowling like that.

Listen, we're going outside. Come on. We're going to take a ride. And what? But we broke down because that Honda had 300,000 miles. That's okay. Bought that bitch off Craig List, $2,500 for the whole car. Take this.

Took that bitch to her job, parked it sideways Like what you doing Can you come outside, babe? Hey, you know that shit you did It was so player It's a brand new car It just need a new alternator We gonna buy it out of Walmart for the load

That's my hole Draw the Honda to the stove That's crazy You got a Honda Listen You're so childed Do you got your title? Because when I bought it

He told me that it was salvage I don't even know what a salvage title means That made that shit was fucked up And they tried to fix it Yeah, a dope dealer owned it before It crashed you running from them black police That they thought was their friend Hey, hey, it was a 2015 Honda

With the goddamn rims Winner ladies that ain't here to drive Hondas I know some of y'all there Hey, that's all the Honda drivers in here? What about a Toyota? Okay, Toyota. Yeah. What if Nissan is that?

Nissan. Nissan. Nissan. Your bitches are breaking your car. If a bitch drive a Nissan, she will break in your car. Believe it. I don't know. I think, you know what they got the best pussy them ladies that drive them Toyota Camry.

Snager. If the cab. Big-ass bitch in the Toyota Camry. A Toyota Camry. What you say? She's a freaky-ass bitch in the Toyota Camry. In the Toyota Camry. You said a Toyota Camry, well, that's crazy.

Yeah. I got one that just had a baby. Damn. But she's so goddamn fine. I'm buying diapers, wipes, and pamphers, and it ain't even mine. Hold up. What's wrong, man? Wait, wait, stop, hold up.

She's like, let me see your ticket, bitch. Let me see your ticket. Nah. She's like, hold on, let me see. Let me count these seats, one. Who's still in seats? Because you know these seats ain't in order. They put these bids in here today.

Uh-oh. Mama came up. She's like, yeah, your seat all the way up there. Go over there. Mama came. Oh, damn, damn. Now you got to sit down in your seat on hot from somebody else.

ass. Excuse me. Skil me. Skil me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Skil me. Skil me. Skil me. Skil me. Skil me. Skil me. Skil me. Stop. Now sit your way and back down. Hey, hey, hey. Black people hate being made fun of her. She's like, hey, everybody, excuse me. Excuse me. Fuck y'all. I didn't think they was going to show up.

I feel her. Hey, man, I got to do this, D.C. Where about that man, nigga, look, Jaquise in this motherfucker, man. Who, yeah, ah, right there with the jersey. Who, yeah? What's up, Jaquist? The king of R&B in this, motherfucker. Who yeah?

Nigger, guess what? That's the Augusta version. His name Jacquesquist. Man, I'm going over here, y'all ain't shit. Jack Quiz. What's up, Jaquiz? He don't say, who yeah? He said, oh, no.

That niggins stupid, what they get these couches from? Look, auntie coming back again. These motherfuckers got the game wrong. Ain't no way in the world. They got this, they got these couches from an old-ass church. It's a house. My nigga got the barber cloak on. You've been cutting hair, my thing?

Jack got out. Hell ya. My nigga, you're thinking that long as a motherfucker. He's a rasta for it. What's up, girl? That nigg ain't no goddamn rostom for it. What's up, my nigga? That niggins just walking around.

Yeah, he's about to do his wall around. Camadala. What's up, my name? Carlos in the crowd in Augusta, Georgia. Oh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Somebody got rancs. I smell ball ball. In Augusta, Georgia.

Somebody got rants. I smell ball balls. Who got it? Happy birthday little chick. Some girl birthday back here by me. Yeah. She got her birthday bra on looking good. What's your name?

Jazz. What was you doing before you came up here? You was outside. I could tell because your full head sweat a little. She ain't got no A.C. She ain't got a C. She ain't that Honda. Honda got A.C. It's the Toyota that ain't got A-T.

What's a new? A whole bunch of niggas with dreads in this bitch. Are we in Augusta or goddamn Aruba? That's all against the nigger. We in Miami. It's a lot of lacefronts out here. Shout out to all the ladies with. I see the fingerways. I ain't gonna say shit.

Look at the ladies. got some finger waves that she did and somebody changed the blonde weave turn the back got the blonde weave y'all got the hoghogan weave they can't even live with the blades fronts can they feel that wind coming up right now they've got to put that glue right who else in here tonight let me see a bunch of people in here tonight let me see who else in here what a single ladies that we got in the singles oh shit what a who All the women in here said they were single tonight. She got some big-ass taiters right here. She got some corporate tithes. They are big, but they've been through something. I can tell her.

She worked at the courthouse. I can tell you, them courthouse tittes. They need a public defender tithes right here. They look like they ain't happy to be here. They're just hanging around me or chest. Like, it's whatever. It's whatever. Shout out to all the ladies in the building.

They got the wide hips and the flat ass. Appreciate y'all. Tricking the nigger in the front. Tricking! You turn around. You've been overbuilt like a, neck pillow. I'm like, damn. What you're not going to do?

It's a bit like a dead pillow. The lady said we don't talk shit about the fellas enough. So shout out to all my niggas with the black toe nails who still wear sandals and flip flops. Oh, no, I don't. Nick don't don't give a fuck. I give a fuck. I had no sandals. I had this bitch one.

My toe fucked up. I'll tell you, my big toe fucked up. It fucked up? Yeah, it's fucked up. It looked like, you know, the wood chips on the playground? That's my shit, look like. Motherfuck going to tell me, I want to suck your toes. No, you don't, ma'am.

You're going to slice your tongue in half. You know you could get them done. You say, I get them done. But they be talking shit by me in the chair. Oh, Lord. Someone, ma'among, dung, gawo fum bong, I remember when you know you know you, I remember when you know your shit fucked up

when they call another motherfucker out the back, they had to put the new person on your feet. You start here. They bring the old lady out the back that only come out for emergencies. She come out, bing-dibing-dib-dun-dun-dun-ding-d-ding. Oh.

And you know your shit fucked up. When she don't even do nothing to them first, she just put that little oil on them and walk away. No, they gotta soak mine first. They gotta do a whole lot of shit. Put them in the water. Massage it. Put them back in the water.

Put the little powder on. See it, then they come. Then they go get that little drill. They go crazy across my shit. That way I stopped going. Bitch tried to cook my feet one time. Turned the water up real high. What?

I need my hot like that. You need to do it. Man, when they get to shaving with that little. boy hitting that hill I don't know how I got all that got there Parmesan cheese on my shit but boy she was knocking that shit off I was like man I wore

an 11 and a half now we're a six and a half god dang you had all that dead skin boy it looked like I've been escaping slavery but salute to all the niggins were ugly feet it's cool to have ugly feet if you're a man but ladies wait a minute you ever seen one when they had like the corn on

them bitches like the corn on top of that motherfucker, it's just sitting there. Now the corn, you can deal with the corn. She might have played soccer when she was little, but that bunion, that bunion looked like you got a shoulder on your foot. Ain't that the same thing, though? Ain't that corn on the bunion the same thing?

Nah, the bunion, the thing that hang off the side. Like the bunion hang out the side of the sandal, like he's trying to escape the foot. Bitch, let me off of here. I'm trying to go back to my real family. And the corns is the one that's on the side. The corn's on the toes, yeah. Same shit.

I mean, that shit is kind of disheartening, but I'll just buy a bunch of socks. I didn't have to deal with a girl so big a half feet before. They were big at fuck. But what really made me stop fucking with her is when she had to run to the car, and she threw my joys on and bust her back down on them bitch. Oh, they hit that bitch in the back of her head. Come out! She then turns your joys into some flip-flops, yeah.

And ladies, that's another thing. If you stop fucking with that nigger, throw that niggas shorts away, all right? Don't be keeping them old niggins shorts at the house. You walk around with a nigga that play for another high school. Bitch, I ain't go there. Take them motherfuckers off. I don't give a fuck long as you ain't wear my shit. I'm gonna take it off anyway. That'll be the perfect time to say, shout out to all the abusive women out here whooping niggas' ass,

nigger's ass because you can't control your feelings. Why you throw your hands up like that, man? She was like gang, gang, nigga. All right. Like you nine and no against niggins. Y'all bitches think y'all crazy until you ran into a crazy, nigga. Keep playing. You think you aggressive.

All right. So, a nigga, walk around here. I wish a bitch would. Some of these women down here wish a bitch would and a nigga would, too. You fuck around and hear her. She said, boom. Ha, ha, ha. Oh, you want to play.

Like, nah, no, I don't. Chill out, baby. I was just fucking around. You can always tell when the girl about to beat a nigga up. You can always tell, because there's one thing they all say. Women who can beat niggas up, and they know it, they always say this shit before the fight. Digger, I got four brothers.

That means she's about to call somebody to come jump your ass. But that's why you got to have a chopper. What? That's why you gotta have a chopper. You don't give a fuck about none of that shit. I go, I call my brothers. Call them, bitch. I don't give a problem.

Some of these women hit like Galleries off Harlem nights. Oh, you hit like a bitch, nigga. Now I got to cook you. My nigga, you freakish hell. I see you pouring these fruits and shit down your girl's chest and breast area. What the fuck? That's your sister? You see in your sense?

y'all snuck fruit in here because they ain't selling no fruit man look at this look at the shit watch what he doing his sister watch this shit that's your brother y'all some nancy what the fuck is that going on why you feed your sister like that they must have grew up and missed the house off color purple what the fuck is going on they're talking about that's my brother boy you can't tell me y'all ain't never hunch real quick why your mom and them wasn't you at the show dropping fruit in your sister the mouth. Y'all didn't do it with the clothes on at least. Here come up, here come on.

Hey, what the experience? Don't take for the niggoo. What the fuck? It's an alien in this bitch. With a men in black hat. What the fuck is wrong? Where y'all get this sound system from family dollar? What the fuck is going on?

Nicky, did you hear that shit? Yeah. I got scared. I threw my mic. I ain't on my shit. I'm gonna blow up. That shit sounds like an alien invasion. Maybe that was the most... There's somebody up that just made the noise.

Bitch, what planet you from? Your cousins want you to come back home. She said, Ah! Damn. You is stupid, bro. That nigga said, they had hunch with the clothes on. They go on.

The nigga is just dropping fruit and it looks loose the mouth. That's what... He must be trying to keep niggas off her. Yeah. Yeah, I ain't fucking, but you can't either. Take this fruit, baby. What if they both just on a bean right now, and they're tripping? They don't need to know if they each other.

Y'all on a bean right now, y'all on them perk 30s? You on the perk 30? I can tell you start scratching in a few minutes. I know you're on the perk 30. Hey, hello. Oh, look, that's your real brother, like your plate brother. I know. He wants to fuss it.

He wants a pussy. He's trying to fuck. That's what it is. That ain't your mom. She's gonna be you son too. That's your play sister. That's your blood. That's your blood.

You nasty. No it ain't. No, that's your blood. You nasty. This nigga dropping fruit in his play sister mouth. Man, he wants you drop some pussy back in his mouth for return, please. Ladies, you see why you can't have that fake-ass brother, nigger. Hey, he's dropping fruit in your mouth, but I drop some else.

Those are called blackberries Sick of this shit Don't get excited by that, bro, don't Them play brother niggas is the worst Them is the hatein' this niggins in the world And play brother niggins, you'd be about to fuck So I'm just saying, man, how much, how really How do you know him?

How well do you really know him? because you know I seen him a couple weeks ago he was down at the club he had like three girls in a bottle of champagne I know you ain't bought that life so just be a little bit more careful before you you know step all the way out there she'd be like oh my god thank you so much you were so friendly I never get a man perspective like this before yeah you know I love you baby I got you whole time he like yeah he can't fuck I'm one step closer but see real niggins don't see them niggins don't understand you gotta understand when you give a relationship advice to any woman you gotta put

the other nigga. Look, I start backing up, but I ain't true. I was like, you gotta put the other nigga. You gotta put the other nigga, you gotta understand. It's a mean thing. You see what I'm saying? You can't throw the nigga up under the bus because you're trying to get some pussy, you lame mad. That's lame as fuck, man.

You got to tell her, hey man, if you really like that nigga, figure it out. Go fuck with shout it. And she's gonna look at you like, damn, you don't want to fuck with me? Like, I do, but you know. Right. You gotta remember something that's very important. If you don't wake up in the morning to wash your pussy, it don't belong to you.

That pussy is hers. She's going to do what she want to do with it. The best thing you can do is be the best version of yourself that you can be, so she want to get that pussy to you with consent and freely. Nigger, that fuck the rest of that shit. Right. All that hating is sucker shit. Ah, come on.

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I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all, childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health. struggles and more, and found the shrimp to make it to the other side. My dad was shot and killed in his house. Yes, he was a drug dealer. Yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on a street corner. He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal. He was shot in his house unarmed. Pretty Private isn't just a podcast. It's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty private from the Black Effect Podcast Network.

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that's some sucker shit i hate layman like that old pussy like that old man they're out here speaking on a niggins they don't never get no pussy they always just be talking the whole thing of these niggin you talk the hole don't mean you get hold oh man you know i got her number so I do too. We'll never talk what I thought every week. Man, I see some shit when I was in L.A. You know the cold part about women? What?

They think if they don't get you no pussy, you ain't going to get none. Say that again. Please. We need to put that on the banister right then. Maybe I'm acting like they got the only one. Like, you should? You can't have this pussy. Okay, I'm leaving. Let me go be sad. Wah, waw.

You know what the worst is, though, when she don't want to get you no pussy where you want it, then she fuck around and get with three niggas, have four babies, and then be like, you know what? I think it's time for you to get a chance. No, ma'am, it was time for me to get a chance 15 years ago. Now it's time for you to get the fuck away from me. Because I don't want to have to. I don't want to have. You take it still, fly?

I still take it. I'd be like, bitch, this what I was trying to do eight years ago. With your hands up. You gotta fuck for what she used to be. I ain't gonna lie. Bro, it was a bad bit back in the day. I swore and everything. Bad.

She ain't never want to give me no play. She got kind of big a little bit. Bro. And she was the phone with it. Hold up. You heard what you said. She got kind of big. A little bit.

No, because she would like big, but she would like right up on the bed, big. You see what I'm saying? So it was like big, a little bit. You know what I'm saying? She was chunky. Right. They get big.

They get big in sections. It don't just happen all at once. That first summer, it'd be the titties. Then the next summer that ass to get big. Then that third summer, the stomach get big. Then their fourth summer, she'll whole big girl. See, because I knew it happened like that, because even though she would be big, her pussy was just small.

That shit do be happening. That shit do be happening. And niggas don't care about you getting big, ladies. I'm fucking shale. Yeah, I mean, niggie going to fuck you. Really, I like when they get big. Let me fuck. before you get big and when you get big

so I can see which one of you is the better version of yourself. And then I want to hit it again when you lose that way. I'm like, I fucked all three of them. I fucked all three of her. I like fucking a big girl. It's like a scavenger.

It's a scavenger hunt when you find that pussy. You just be looking for it. You like, I know it's in here some point. Shit. You play with them big girls if you want to. They'd be more flexible. than the little girls. You get in there, she lay her big ass on that bed. She'd be like, I know what you think going to happen, but watch this.

You'd be like, ooh, I ain't never seen one like that before. She lift her own legs up? Shit. You got to brace yourself, yes. That's too much. You got to lift up them legs, boy, that's two human beings. right now, boy. You gotta be heavy as a motherfucker. Well, that's been having a fossil.

After about four minutes, I'm got them knees. She's like, what happened? You coming? Bits, I'm coming to the flow, yeah, bitch. I like big girls, I do. Pussy is changing. I don't know if nobody notice it, man. They pussy far.

They just sit there. You're like, bitch, you pulled it. That wasn't your pussy right now. I know you. That was last. Shut out to all the ladies out there peeing on, niggas, telling them you squirted. It's the sign of thine, though. It really is.

That's urine. It's really pee. It don't matter how you do it. It's pee. That shit hot. That shit warm. That is pee. That is pee.

Bid see, she did it. I was like, ha, I was like, bitch, hi, ha, shit you walk. Ha! Yeah, wrong with you, bitch. Don't be peeing on me, bitch. Poor fuck, I have a pee-war in this, motherfucker. Ah, ha. You're nasty as fuck, big.

You can't just be doing that shit, ladies. She's dead on me. She's starving. I know, not you. I'm just saying. Especially if you got kids, you didn't piss and squirt it all on the bed. Now your child confused when they lay down with you. Mommy, I thought you said it was bad to pee in the bed.

I smelled it and I never slept in here before, so you had to do this. For real. You're scared me, though. You're some nasty niggins. I'm a grown man. They ain't never been scared. She's, I was like, best. What hell with that?

It's scared her too. She, you know, she's like, what I did that do? You just pee-pied? You go to the restaurant? You pee? That should be fucked up. Look all the squirters being quiet and shit. Yeah, you peeing on niggins, bitch.

The last time I was with a squirter, she farted before she squirted. Oh, she definitely pissed on you, nigg. She must have went to cookout before y'all fuck. But she thought just because she squirted, I wouldn't go mention the fart. They were like, your ass nasty two times. Okay, fuck, that's what you want to play? I fought too. The magic.

Hey, bray, you fucked up, man. Amen. And you know why they laughing this shit? Because we don't doubt that you would do all of this shit. I did. I had a fart in content. She farted, I farted. She farted, I fought it.

I tried to fart, but I already knew that one the real fart. I was like, uh-uh, that ain't it right now. All right, let me ask you all this. That was going to go down my leg. I can't do that one right there. Boy, you, let me ask you this. Has a woman ever asked you to do some shit to her that you wasn't comfortable doing. Yeah.

Yes. Yeah, a girl asked me to piss on her one time. True story. I was in Miami. Hey, but you see how big this room is? Yeah. You see that before people say, ugh? Yeah, that shit scared me, though, because she was like, I want to do it somewhere different. I'm like, what do you want to do it?

She was like, in the tub. I was like, bet. Then I go when she get in the tub and don't turn the water on. I'm like, you just want to fuck in the tub with no water? She was like, yeah, I want you to provide the water. I'm like, whoa, what you mean? She was like, you had never done anything like this before? I'm like, like, what? Piss on somebody. I'm like, nah. Matter of fact, I'm not to call your Uber, baby. I ain't fucking with you. Yeah, I can't piss on you, baby.

The nasty thing somebody had me to do? Yeah. I was fucking with this cougar, and I knew I wanted to watch a porn and do all that young freaky shit and I had to tell that bitch. You You ain't young no more, bitch. We can't do that. She wanted me to fuck her from the top, I'm on top of her, like. What? Dick down in the coocha,

nigga, on top, nigga. Oh, damn. That just made that a whole lot harder than it sounded when you first said it, he said he had to stand up, push his dick down in the pussy and go like this. She was just looking at me,

like, give it to me, young man. I'm like, bitch, I don't want to do this, though, boy. That shit sounded like it hurt. I don't want to do this no more. What's the maddest thing girl ever asked you to do, Lo? Bite her nipples. Bite her nipples.

Like, real, real hard, though. I don't know what the fuck these nipples was made out of. But after a while, I was like, bitch, these tithes ain't hooked up to none. I'm not about to keep biting these goddamn pointless-ass tinnis. Bight her nipples. Ain't no way you like this shit. You were biting a nipple, bro? Real hard, like, all the way.

And she was like, He was just like, ah! That bitch is an alien. Ain't nowhere in the world. You can bite through those nipples and she just, yeah, keep doing it. Like, bitch, what jail you went to? That was the best part of the strangest shit I ever had to do.

I was told that bitch, look, give me some hot sauce. I just can't be doing this shit all night. But that's the thing. Women are way freaky of the niggas. They are? Let me ask you this. Did they do? You ever fell in love with a chick

because she had that head? Oh, of course. That get me every time. They hear, when you're passionate about it, you have made a friend, ma'am. You have made a lifelong friend. You've got a friend in me. Blop, blop!

For real. I kind of grew out of head, though. You say what? I kind of grew out of head, stage. I'll never grow out of that head stage. I'd be like, uh-uh. He said he grew out of head, nigga. How old are you?

I'm 27, I like to get right over that age. I like the fuck getting head laid. They're like, yeah, I don't want to fuck. Just give me some head. Nah, n' no, no, no, move. I want to fuck, move. Hell now. And then look, I bust fast, so I can't get head like that.

I just need it for a little bit of time. As soon as she gives head, I'm like, aye, aye, that's a month, that's enough. And niggins said I got something else. No. Nothing on your face, Miss, you better stop playing with me. I want the head. Fuck that, I don't bust fast. Practice on me.

I'm talking about that real, uh-uh. I'm like, oh, yes. She is a champion. I do that shit like sports in it. Oh, she's off to a great start. All right. She's going down. She's going down.

She's almost got it all in the mouth. Not all the way. Oh, she's trying. Oh, yeah, she's a champion. Bro, as soon as I hit it. When you get to work in that goddamn hand and the mouth boy, bitch, I'm going to take you to get you a Honda accord. I'll tell you that much.

Chico, as soon as I hear, three of them good. Blot, blot, blot, blah. In the road, I'd be like, oh, you want a boyfriend. Okay? Why, you ain't say nothing? I'm talking about sucking dick till your eyes running and your nose running. I'm like, this bitch is nasty. You are the champion.

I feel like Rocky, nigga. You give me the head, you're going to be mad. You give me the head, I bust another. You're like, come on. I'm like, I told you. That's all I got. That's why you got established first. You're like, look, I ain't got no fuck energy.

I just want some head. And if they're cool with it, that's a champion. Because ladies, you got to understand all the pressure is on us other than some head that's the only time a man get to relax when we fucking we got the pressure of making you come and y'all motherfuckers get the whole job come like goddamn refund checks at a black school nigger you not yet not yet i ain't ready yet uh-uh is right there but keep going bitch listen i got to go to work in the morning no you got to let them skip that first nut that one too powerful if she don't if she get that one she gonna have a heart attack or something they always

skip that first couple oh no wait stop hold up wait no not that one because that one too much See, that's why you got to be the aggressor. What's wrong with our old niggas, man? Y'all echo like y'all lost y'all mojo, man. Ain't no way you did all this. You just said you bused quick. Ain't no way you did all this shit. That fast.

See, see, I make them bust ain't because I already know how I am. Oh, okay. Because you know how you are. I already have to lay it out. Okay. I'm like, look, bitch, you need to go ahead. I ain't got that much time.

Now, let me do you before you do me. Because if you do me, bitch, it's over with. with, I'm letting you know. But there's the thing, man, listen, fellas, you ever been fucking, you know you're doing some good fuck it. I'm talking about you got it. You didn't got damn. Ain't good today. You worked out a little bit. I'm talking about you getting it. She ain't even, she just, um, um, mm, mm, mm. I hate them bitches. Um, mm, mm, mm, I mean, you and that motherfucker like, God damn, bitch, what the fuck?

This bitch is just like, mm-mm, mm-hmm. Why do y'all do that, ladies? You don't want it, because you don't want to make a confidence to be too high. Then you tell your friends. He fucked the shit out me, girl, now your friend wants to fuck what you should have told me. She said it ain't good. She said, shit.

You can fake it if you want to, but I don't know why ladies do that anyway. Faking it don't do nothing but make a nigga confidence up that shouldn't be up. You in there faking like a motherfucker and that this nigga walking around like he didn't fuck the shit out you. And you mad because he got an attitude like he that nigger. It's your fault he thinks he that nigger. Right. Let me ask you this. What one do you prefer?

The real orgasm of the fake one? I want the real, because you're going to have a real one with me anyways. Right, yeah. You can tell the real one because the real one, like the real one, the reaction is different. Yeah, the real one ain't sexy at all. Uh-uh. It's ugly. She gets to looking like a monster.

Well, we're going to have a real orgasm? Oh, my fucking God. Bess, get it looking like she can already turn into a werewolf. Like, bitch, you can already turn it to a were what the fuck? Her foot did to shaking like a dog and shit. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Like blank man. Well, they can't control that shit. That shit, boy, that shit got the boy. That shit kind of make you jealous because niggas nudge is not last, you know, a couple of seconds ladies y'all get to come in and let me take oh shit oh oh now you just in there laying in the pussy waiting her to calm down all right baby go ahead get yourself to go get yourself to go get

this she got her legs wrapped around your back and they get like baby my back start to her too hurry up let me up just gonna let you finish that joke oh my bad was I too close to you oh you was close motherfucker you I wasn't that close was oh you was close well you was close Now you're sitting up there like you in the casket, my bad, dog. Oh, hey, man. My bad, Nick. I didn't know. Thanks for being a good friend, Nick. That's your homeboy right there. We don't even say nothing.

Alright, go ahead, bro. Hey, ladies, y'all know that real, that real nut, it's like an exorcism. An exorcism? Mm-hmm. You never been doing it to a girl and her whole stomach just raised. She's like, hmm. Like, oh, this bitch, he's about to have a baby. Look like she got hit with them two things they say in your life with. Clear.

Pish! They're stupid. That shit crazy, me. Look that nigga I'm never that stupid-ass-ass-shirt. Look, he's trying to run. Now, he's like, goddamn. That bitch ain't got no sleeves on. He got a sleeveless orange shirt.

They look like a traffic barrel. traffic cone. That nigga on the field trip. Everybody with the on shirts. Come over here. Shout out to the lady right there with the Freddie Kruger hat on. I see you, baby. Hey, you know who I was talking about too. She threw her hands up like, she went in their ass for that. Now, fuck that. Give me the Freddy Kruger. I'm about to get these bitches nightmares tonight, baby. She is not playing with him. Big ass hand.

She is a witch. And she's drinking a cup of noodles. That's crazy. I put a spell on you You remember that movie I put a spell on you Bro, that's a cold ass, all the ears, my nigga We got in Augusta, man Like, when we be coming to these places People would be like, Augusta, why are you guys going down there?

This is why we came down here. Look at all these niggas in this motherfuckus It's real niggas in Augusta. Real niggas down here. Real niggas in Augusta. fuck around with you real bitch is in the customer you we got to give a shout out to all our niggins in the handicapped community and the wheelchairs and all that salute to y'all for continuously fucking with us that's a lot of work to come out and just make sure you know

them people are going through a lot man we get messages all the time about how we make people feel by just standing up here talking about our flaws and insecurities and all that making people feel comfortable so for all the people who you know might be going through something might be dealing with something and this make you feel better whenever you watch it we salute y'all thank y'all for family to thank you guys Because this show right here is really mainly for motherfuckers to laugh at your insecurity. You did what I'm saying? I love you too, bitch. Give me some pussy.

That bitch sitting in the back. Never mind. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That's the pussy you want while you boys is. real moment we were just having. Yeah, that's the pussy you want. She got a lot to give up. She's in the back. She's like, shit. I'm saving all my love for you.

Like Whitney Houston. I'm straight. I know her bed on the floor. I'm good. We're going to be in that bitch looking like two first 48 victims. You got your back up against the wall, man. Salute to all the ladies who mattresses on the floor. You're going to get a bed spring one day. Keep working. You is. You're going to get a head boy. But your attitude got to match your motherfucking living condition.

Oh, you think that, oh man, fuck them. You're talking about the ladies who bed on the floor. Shout out to all the women who TV is on top of that big plastic thing with the clothes in. That Walmart. That's called a bin. That's all the bin. She ain't got no drones. Her little boy was jumping on the top, so it bent a little bit, so the TV be falling back toward the wall.

Salute to everybody in here that still got a TV with the ass on the back. You're a real, nigga. I mean, a girl hadn't got mad at me because. I was just sitting on anything. I'm over the house. I'm just sitting on anything. She's talking about, you need to get up. I'm like, oh, what? My refrigerator? I'm like, oh, shit. I was like, you know they made bigger ones.

She had the goddamn dorm room refrigerator. He could sit on it. A bitch had two caprisons in that business. We were having a picnic. Don't you hate when you go over somebody house and they shit junkie? No, because I came from junk. Hey, man, just sit wherever you want to. And then you sit down and they're like, don't sit right there.

And I'm clothes clean. Like, how the fuck you know? Right. I came from junk, so I don't really judge people. Ladies will give you a warning before you come and they shit fucked up. They were like, look, excuse my house, okay? I've been cleaning the day. Niggas ain't going to say shit.

Like, bitch yeah, come on. Niggins throwing shit behind the couch. Niggas is bold as a motherfucker. My mama was a hoarder. I used to have, I used to have to ask people like real shit. I'd be like, hey, you got some life insurance? Because if something hit you in the head up here, we can't cover that shit. Niggas is disrespectful inviting you over.

They crib, no. Niggas will invite you to the whole goddamn house with nothing in that bitch. No paper towels, no face towels, no soap. No plates, no cups. No cups. And then offer you shit to drink. You want something to drink, just drink it out of the drug.

No fuck I'm not. Ugh. You ever went over something in the house and they were staying with somebody? And they put, they stay like in the basement part, but you had to pass like the whole family just to go to their basement? You like, they like, yeah, man, but you know, I'm staying with somebody, but just come off. They don't tell you until you get to the door.

That's why I stopped going on with my homeboy house. His grandma lived with him. You're like, nigga, why do you sleep? He's like, nigga, down here? What the fuck? That's why I stopped going on my homeboy house. Their grandma stayed with him. And she had a hospital bed.

In the living room? Yeah. She was in the living room? Yeah, I didn't say you that before. It's not just that she had the hospital bed. You had to, like, kind of, like, the curve to go around the corner was, like, on her curve, so you had to kind of, like, touch the bed to go with it. I'd have just said, fucking, and talk to her, hey, Nana, how you doing, baby, okay?

Yeah, my name's Chico, I came over here to fuck with your niece. That's what it is. Chico, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, Chico. You know, I used to go with, uh, uh, uh, uh, a Liddy name, Cico. You did? Yes, I, yeah. How long ago was this? About a hundred years.

How long is fucking with old people. I'm a hundred and thirty. You don't live a long time, man. I have. I keep asking the Lord to take me, but he keeps... He keeps making it. That's fucked up. That's fucked up, man.

This is here an old person say some shit like that. I've been asking God to take me on home, but he keeps leaving me down here with these sorry motherfuckers. I can't move my legs. What the hell am I supposed to do? Old people talk to mo shit freely. I don't give a goddamn, that little bitch is nastiest fuck anyway. I seen around here sucking dick all up and down the block and come over here try to kiss my grandbaby. Get your nasty math ass off my porch, bitch.

I've seen her. I seen her. I seen her. I seen her. I've seen her. I've seen her. I've seen her. I see her. Yeah, sure is. Where y'all ain't shit. The old nigger crossed their legs. Be sitting lower hair. I showed it. That's what they happen right now. She did. Exactly what happened. I was down there. Yeah, so I did it.

Hey, man, I remember the last time I went out there about 20 years ago, I went to this show, about 20 years ago down the Augusta, 85 South Show, lost my goddamn glasses. I don't know what I did with the motherfuckers. I've been looking for them ever since that day. Ever since that, you're talking about those black raid man that your head? There's a black raid man that hat.

No one, we got that. But you got that. Boy, you're a goddamn fool. You're a goddamn motherfucker. You know that. You're the damn glasses. been on your head the whole time. Well, you ain't shit, but not

telling me, nigga. Well, you ain't shit, but not looking. Hey, uh, hey, let me tell you something, man. Remember old Gloria? Gloria. What's Gloria? You're talking about Gloria with the one bang, with the swoosh? Yeah, with the late front. They used to slip off from the back sometimes. Okay, you were the one with the figure where, okay. Hold up, we got a white man coming. What the fuck wrong with that? Who is that? Oh, uh. Oh,

that's my Mexican partner. He just got here from my El Salvador. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, you know. What he got it from? Home Depot? He said water. You know y'all getting money. Y'all got the Mexican and sell y'all water. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

He's a real Mexican, too. We got from old people. You ever got caught up talking to one of the old people. They're telling you about how they went and they shit happened, but they're telling you all this boring and shit. Mm-hmm. I got up this morning at about 8 o'clock. It was supposed to rain, but I looked outside.

It ain't rain. It smelled like it was going to rain, but then I laid in the, bed to here on 9,905. I get on up and I went by my sister house and we stopped over there for two or three hours. She wanted me to take her the Walgreens. So I shot her down the Walgreens and stopped her by McDonald's before we came home. She wanted to get some fries. She got some fries and vanilla mixie. And then I got me a filet of fish. I had to send the fish down. I had to sit the fish sandwiched back two damn time first time if some bit's too hot second time it wasn't hot enough so we stayed over there and then when we come on back cross the road it was about two o'clock

i sat down and said hell the mailman should be here any minute we sat on over there and we talked on the porch for two three hours in hell i look up it's 5 30 and something i said shit i've been with your hands all day I come on cross town caught that traffic over there and then I came on back my brother Leroy called me he wanted me to come over there help him clean some fish he had got some fish man they worked with had gave some fish up there I go up there being him clean two three pounds of catfish no sooner we fry the fish up hell it got dog I pulled my truck round the front. Come on in the house,

take my shoes off and wash a little bit of how to get away with murder. Hell, I look up, it was 9.30. I took my hand to bed. Well, yeah, that was a good assort right there, boy. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy.

Oh, shit. He done? No, he's done, Jimmy. That boy, show you got that at a bedtime story. Yeah, yeah, boy, I did, boy. Ooh, yeah. That boy can talk there. Well, that boy can talk.

You know what? He gonna speak at his own funeral. That's what he gonna do. Oh, boy, old people can talk all day about nothing. I grew up with old people. You see a young girl at the store and you know that girl got that baby out there with no coat on. That baby gonna be sick in July jam. She'll put a coat on that baby and ain't got now hat on that baby head or nothing.

Then they don't know the important information more. How old is it? baby right yeah that baby got to be what three or four now that baby is 52 months yeah that's about three or four yeah 52 months yeah it's four and four months yeah you know well we weren't doing no math when we was coming out yeah you wasn't even math they called it rhythmic we only had two classes it wasn't even reading right that was it You know, you couldn't know how to read, because they knew you knew how to read.

There came key, so we had to pray down the line. Yeah, I remember that day, boy, I tell you. You know, my grandson just came home from prison. He was locked up about three and a half years and robbing that sitcom down there on the 3rd Street. He ain't get that much money out of there. He went to jail about three, four years or something. Yeah, jot, jat, ja, jac.

Don't fall to sleep. Don't fall asleep. You know, you got to, you know, you got to stop. You got to stop. They gave me two perkinses. they gave me some mootry so you're on the perkinset at the motron you got your spleen taken out the 70s who who got a perkinset somebody he got me got a perkinset you got a perkinset i need a moister look at the niggas said the police behind us nigger you just snitched on yourself

in there the police behind us but when they're not and chico so as the niggins say that that's what we be like and see action i'm moving to augusta Yeah, I found them in six-bedroom for $300 a month. God, damn. I think I need to find this spot. Yeah, I know. God, that must be a dangerous-ass neighborhood. You're paying that.

You're paying $300 for six bedroom. This is the killer's at your front door. And I got a Section 8 voucher. Boy, listen, that line, the Section 8 waiting list is the longest list in the black community. I guarantee you. Make some noise you on the Section 8 waiting list, right? Niggins Nika, nigga, you're lying.

I'm gonna pray for you. I hope you get that. Move your shoulders if you're on the session. Hey, Wayne Liff. Waiting on that voucher. That section A voucher changed the game. Boy, you go from having to pay $1,000 a month to $15 a month. Man fucker still be late on the rent.

Like, I'm behind my rent. How much is your rent? $15. Like, bitch, I'm moving in with $30. I got $30 right now. That's another. reason why I got to give me a chick from Augusta so I could tell her to move to Atlanta she can go cuss out housing authority.

Don't worry about who in my motherfucking house. She ready to go off right now, in her new Honda. I miss having food stamps. I was just about to say food stamps is the greatest shit of all time. You got food stamps, you got money, nigga. Don't let them fuck your life up. Them days I don't miss because I don't like that they try to tell you what to buy with your food stamps. No, that's not.

That's just the wick vouchers. Yeah, that's wick. You know, they give you like coupon. Like, huh? They go two milks. No, you can't do. Some shit. You're like, bitch, I want to buy.

They like, bitch, I said three can't goods. Yeah, you only can get the juicy juice with the wick. You know, the powder milk, the regular gallon milk. You can't even buy hot food with food still. I don't need to buy hot food. This shit gonna be hot when I cook it at the house. Nika, fuck that. I don't know what you buying with your food stamp.

I couldn't wait to my shit here. Boy, I just be it like, oh. Boy, that shit will make you skis. Get through the motherfucking grocery store. No, you ain't got no money, but you got foodstall? Food stamps, boy. I ain't got no money, not a dollar. I want to smoke so bad, but I can't buy blood.

See, that's why they need to come out. They need to come out with some weed stamps, nigg. No. Niggas ain't going to take those. Shit. Nigel, you get a card every month and you can buy all your weed on your weed card. Who get the money? But they only give you a certain amount.

Ain't no money, do you just swipe your card and get the weed, Nick. You got to get some money, that's free weed, nigga. What the fuck? I ain't smoking that shit. I can't wait to get that card, nigga, give me a pound. Swipe, give me a pound. Swipe, give me a pound. You get to smoking that shit, you turn into a ninja turtle. Ain't no free weed. That that bullshit, that is synthetic weed. You hit that motherfucker.

That Scooby-Doo, that K-2. What she said? She wants some weed stuff? Hey, man, and what did they have weed stuff? We had weed stuff. Like you can turn your foodstam with a weed. I just said that. No, but your shit were free.

See, your shit were free. Your shit was fake. I'm talking about real shit, like real drug dealer shit. You get $300 a month. Nah, niggas smoking a gram a weed. That ain't even enough to have a good habit, though. I mean, but it's free money, though. You can't complain with the little 189,

you got $189. You got $1.89. Yeah, that broke, man. I can't get a $15. Why, you're about to run with that $189, but if I'm wrong with you. You want $189 to do. We want $8.9. Hey, if you owe $10,000 or more to the IRS,

call Civic Tax Relief. They can give you some free information to free you up from the IRS. Clearly, I don't owe $10,000 to the IRS, but you might. So you may want to call Civic Tax Relief. Call the number. They can help you qualify for some free tax. relief programs that may have your past due taxes forgiving you may qualify for some relief

programs to have your past due taxes forgiven i'm serious they know people like that man the people down there civic tax they can get you straight civic relief can protect you from the irs you can stop all the added penalties and fees and wage garnishments man i'm telling me they for real hey see what programs you may qualify for man time is limited the information is free the consultation is free. Civic tax relief can protect you from the IRS, man. You can stop all those added penalties and fees and really break free from the IRS. Civic tax relief, special tax relief hotline, man, can help you figure out which programs

you qualify for. Call now. Let me get the number for you. Hold on. Yo, what's that tax number? 1-800-297-6014. That's 1-800-297-6014. Ask for the good people.

over there in civic tax relief, man, because you may owe $10,000 or more and they can qualify you for some programs and get the taxes. Forgiven. I'm telling you, I've been with them. How do you think I got this house? They forgave all my taxes. Get the hell off my port. Bye. I can't wait till weed get legal

so we can see the commercials for it, that's going to be the best part of the game when they start coming out with the commercials for the weed. I don't want the legal weed because the legal weed ain't hide the street weed smoking. Legal weed, they take all the interest shit out and that shit be dry-in. That shit me damn to smoking grass. I don't want that bull shit.

You want your weed with some danger in it. I want the sneaking weed. Well, you don't want nobody to see you. You know why you can't find that shit no more? It's the goddamn police fault. They took all that weed. They caught all that shit. Now we're just out here with the other shit.

Man, don't think you be smoking this shit, man. They take that weed and be smoked. You can tell the police I was going to smoke your shit when he's smelling he only saying nothing too he'd be like you know why I'll stop you nigga what you go on with the weed motherfucker what's wrong with you ain't you talking about where that weed go the police probably do be having all types of weed smoking potty at the station and shit smoking they do dirty motherfuckers y'all dirty is there whatever amount they catch you with they take they cut out first like they kick in the

dog nigger have 10 keys of dope they'd be like this nigger got the nerve to have a half an ounce of cloth over there. How much he had? Man, the nigger had three dime bags. He took all the burns. Can you do that if he's taking that shit when you go to cook? Police, y'all doing a terrible job

getting these meth heads off the street. I'm walking dead. That's who you need to fuck with, them niggas. They're walking dead, motherfucker. Right, zombies. They out here doing stupid-ass crams, breaking their people, car eating the peppermiss out the ashtray and shit.

Falling to sleep in your shit, name. No, nigga. I always got a stupid-ass wall. Take some of their ass to jail, Mr. Officer. Yes, that's sad. I personally don't think no niggins should go to jail for no drugs. That's dumb as fuck. How are you going to be mad because I'm supplying the community with

they want? They wanted this shit. I ain't doing this shit just for my help. They want it. Like, it's stupid to go to it. And everybody, there's no such thing as being, not being on drugs. everybody on drugs if you got a headache you take drugs if your foot hurt you take drugs you just can make some illegal and then take me to jail for them bitch and all this ain't no different in the anvil it just make you scratch a little bit more that's all right you black police officers is your job is your

job every time you go into the jailhouse and you see a nigga you're supposed to go get a white person and fill it up and make it equal don't just let them take us go get some of they got them dope head cousins and shit right through the white neighborhood they Look at the drugs and no license and shit. Right. All the pills? Look at them.

They scared. Come on. Let go to the bathroom. Could that shit be nasty? Them feth head, man. They got them soles. They got that staphed fish. They can't stow.

This shit be nasty, like little wingworms and shit. And they always want to show you. Why you just try to flick the motherfucker? Could they always want to show you? They'd be like, Mm. Digger Spider-Man the ringworm at a nigger.

God damn. I read one time we had a meth head come to the truck one time. I've been feeling in the truck because you get to fuck with the jays and shit. Like he was a miff head, but you know we ain't nobody had no milk, but he was just wanting some cocaine. He was in that big trip. Like he had like a little twig problem, so we cut on some music for that.

I was like, boy, you like dancing, huh? Hey, play some music, boy, I play some Gucci man. That dude was in that bit like... Hey, bro, my home boy's about to serve for mef head. He was selling him some pills, but he didn't sell them to him because the nigga fucking fucking around and picked the scab off his neck. Ugh. You're like, here, I'm not a shot.

Get your little bloody ass somebody who... What, bro? What? It's just a fucking scab, bro. It's all right. Let me get some of that word, bro. Kick this ass. You had a swing on him.

You had to swing on your ass. I mean, you feel stupid ass out of the trap, but we swing on y'all out. White drug addicts get sad when you're saying, what do you? What do you? bro. Why are you treating me like this, Rick Juana? You thought you were white boy. You said, I was your fucking boy.

Please, man. Just give me some help, man. A little bit of work, man. I need a lot, though. White, white people who want drugs, bro, they are way more loyal than anybody else on drugs. You could beat up a white drug at it, they'll come back. Dude, you already broke my fucking ribs, man.

I had this one drug, I had that one drug at it. That he was stupid a fuck. I had one drawer, had it right, my little white boy, he used to come back everything from me. He used to buy everything. I don't give a fuck. What I had, baby clothes in, he had no baby. He was gonna buy.

He was gonna buy them. I was making him buy. Nick, you got money, nigga, buy this shit. Fuck wrong with you. So he would buyin' them bitch and brother. That nigga fucking around and moved, bro. He caught, I'll never get this day. He pulled up on him by him, a little pack, brother.

He was like, I'm moving fly, a moving. I'm like, where you go on? He's like, I'm going to Dallas. I'm like, shit, I'm going on it. These, they buy no cocaine up here, man. Who go buy my baby clothes? You're the force the nigga to buy baby clothes. Oh, brother hood, nigga, y'all think this shit,

I want to read the shit, nigger. What she say? That bitch on dope, she'll mouthhead. She said she loved me. That's what she said. I love you too, because that means you get me. too because that mean you got good taste than niggas. If you like me, that man you got a hell of a taste.

Aries. That means high, she just started saying shit, Aries. Aries, Bill Cosby. Carlos Aries. Fruit Roll up. She gave you a whole other land name. You got a job. You working?

No. Help. You working? What you do? Help. Say on what? Man, that bitch worked at Macy's, man. What you're selling?

You're talking about sales. We don't try to say sales, but Macy's. Go to the sales department. Nah, she worked at Dillance, nigga. Ain't no Macy's. That's the cousin. What's she sell? Oh, she worked for Spectrum, nigga.

Internet and cable. She's a cable lady. Hey, you're an asshole with a nigga calling trying to get this shit turn back on, sir. Well, you're going to have to at least pay the past due balance. Like, bitch, this shit two months ahead. Why are you charging me for fucking October in this fucking August? What the fuck?

Well, you got to pay your October balance before we turn your shit back on, sir. Let me get that cranky to climb that pole on your ass. This bitch, work at the cable place and they ain't got cable. They hide. Bitch, you know the tricks in college. Shout out to everybody that never had to get a payment plan. They've been still a cable box. What's wrong with you, bitch?

Who had to get a payment plan on their bills? Nigel, when you get that electric bill payment plan, you played a little 25 here, then you give them a number. another 25 next week, then you give them a little 30, then your shit don't get turned off. But then that electric getting turned off is the worst. You come in and hit that switch, click. Let me tell you something.

Ain't nothing like staying next door to somebody who pay all their bills. Because if you got a crack hand to get a generator and hook that shit up from their house to your house, boy, you're good to go. Oh yeah, crack hands is legendary, boy. You ain't living in the hood if you ain't never had a crack hook your cable up nigger will climb that pole in 10 minutes hey your shit hooked up you

got channels you ain't even know you can get it how to look them on my do de mundo you're like oh i got the spanish and everything appreciate you roddney hey bro i have my my cousin right she used to be a cranky ed but she'd go out to hook the cable up so my nito neighbor caught her hook at the cable up from next door the i house oh everything i love these shit over there hookin it up he like You know a motherfucker got stolen cable when they got that long black cable cord that run all the way around the house. You're like, bitch, what this is hooked up to? Outside, niggins, outside. You know ain't any clothes all the way, but fuck that.

I remember we ain't paid for cable for like eight months. We ain't paid cable for a whole year. We didn't pay cable, nigga. We were just running shit. Look at this shit. The cable man came by the cut air, but we had the bootleg cable, right? the nigga came to cut the shit off, fucked around and had a warrant

and got locked up, man. They never sent nobody back out there to cut the shit off. I remember the water folk trying to come cut out of water off. Like, I know we ain't paid the bill, but you know what I'm saying? We ain't took no shower today,

so you ain't been to cutting that bitch off now? Right. You got me fucked on. That dude will die in that goddamn twisting that motherfucker out. I ain't gonna lie. I went out there with my gun. I was like, Nick, you better twist that bitch back.

Twist it back, sit back, get in your car, you fucking. Let me tell you how hood, my hood is, nigger. We had the motherfucking key, the big key that you stick. Oh, y'all had to kill. Oh, y'all are gangster. That nigga had the goddamn sewer key. Y'all shit back on.

Ugh, ugh. Ugh. Oh. You take that bitch and hide it back, so when they call it next time, we used to keep that bitch under my homebuhrum house. Love hood and shit. shit, damn. She said damn right.

Hey, boo. I got a whole bunch of one fucking. You got that's your section right. You got that whole side over there. You got that whole side over there. Mep heads. My little side of mef heads. Say what?

You got a whole side of meth heads. I take them. Like, yeah, hey, baby in the back, what's up? I'll take you too. Y'all got Jop. I fuck with y'all. Y'all smart with y'all money. They're number eight seats at the top.

Little motherfucker. They're special. Shit, that's the fastest way to get me to like you back. Like me. All you got to do it, like me. We did work the rest of that shit out. She said, I like you. I don't know.

I like you a lot, Carlos. It's too strong of a commitment on the first day. I think we'll make love, Colin. I love you. Shout out all the ladies with the deep voices in the morning. Appreciate y'all. Scared the shit out, everybody. What's up with you?

Nothing, sir. What fuck? Bitch, he sounded like little Wayne, bitch. I do not want to hear that. Sound like James L. Jones, Mufusa. Oh, when you wake her up and she had that deep-ass voice and a little funk-ass attitude, Hello.

Why? I'm asleep. I can tell. I think I got the wrong number. Sorry, James. Sorry, James. You mean to call you, James. Oh, shit.

We got to ready to get out of here, man. We ain't leaving. We fit to bring you past Troy out. Come on. Well, ah, ha. If you in the accident, ah. Shout out to everybody who's going through some shit in here tonight. Had to come get your land phone so you can start your week off right. Right. This is the 85 South Show. Augusta, listen. I heard a lot of people don't come down here and sell no tickets.

But y'all are coming and fuck with us and sell this bitch out. Man, we love y'all, Augusta, man. We know y'all, Augusta, we love y'all, motherfuckers. On top, on this side, all the way in the back up top, we love y'all, man. Y'all had a good time tonight, Augusta, Georgia. What up, though? I smell food. I smell food.

Rice, palest, queen beans, baked chicken onions, I don't have a roll. I don't want nothing that shit. I don't know who you order to do, bro. Don't know what you got one more? Damn it!

One more. Damn it, James! Don't let's just yet, you got one more. That's work. Don't you stay on the wrong shaking in a bitch? Oh, man. I know that you don't know. You said a wound-shaker.

Bro, what he said that was a wound-shaker, bro? A couple days, man. A couple days, nigga. Oh, bro. He said, uh, when the brother was hunched his sister. Bruh, bruh. Y'all had hunched before mama and they were walking. He talked about they don't know, they go-n-brun.

Bro. Bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh. I hugged my cubs, bro. Hilarious, bro. You know what's funny for me? I knew exactly. You do that shit, and you was linked up on a couch, like, you're close, nigger.

You was that diploma let you sit in that joke. You was close, my bad, but. I had to get you and use in, you was in the moment. Let me go in let you do that. That thing is here. They go home, they go on, go on. Man, bro. Glorious.

That thing. I got a new surprise, every time to talk this, you're trying to come up, shit. That's shit, that was so hard. You did it? Yeah. This is made out of rice meat, my treats. Yeah. The Chico fuck you me.

Look at that. All that shit, boy, get that. This shit, fat. You know, you know Santiago? You know San Diego? That she is, does it. That's she... You got snacks like that, I've been your cool little room.

Ha ha! I've been in her cubby living in your life. Eating all the snacks and drinking all like three something. It's red velvet and I have another. Okay, thank you, baby. How long did you take it to do this? It looks so good if we don't know what to hear. No, I started the little dude.

It took him a week just. Hey, Ryan. After this, we all got to eat some cake. Bring the cake to the meat and greet. So that way we can make sure it all get eaten. Let's see. I have this one job. Come on, boy.

Hey, I'm about that, like, a little group, too. Man, you know, I'm shit up. I did it, I ain't scared of nothing. Oh, my Lord. I got groups, too, though. Okay. Got some love. All right, send by time.

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